Never For You - The Collector's Edition
An X-Files Novel
by LMControl  a.k.a.  L. McCullen 
	  

  
Disclaimer:  The X-Files and all related entities pertaining hereto are not 
used with the permission of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions Inc. or 
anyone associated with.  All characterizations are based on those 
created by Chris Carter, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny.  Any  
resemblance to their fiction or any other unauthorized works of fiction is 
purely coincidental and not  intended to infringe on the works of others.  
In other words... they own'em...I don't.  
  
-Spoilers: up to and through Fight the Future.  Some of the details come 
directly from the film novelization that were left out, assuming they will 
eventually come to light in the series.  

-Rated:  NC-17 (Language, adult situations)  

-Archive: Anywhere.  A note from webmasters would be appreciated so
I can reference it for others. 

-Type:  S, MSR, X, A  

-Keywords:  Mulder/Scully

-Summary:  Living, loving....... and learning to let go. Set in the future, 
post episodic series finale, the X-Files are closed permanently due to 
unforeseen circumstances.  Facing the dissolution of the partnership, 
Mulder and Scully go their separate ways trying to find a future, unable 
to see past their history.  All the while, evil forces surround them in 
Washington that threaten the very existence of our nation's most prized  
possession....democracy.  

-FEEDBACK- Is always appreciated.  Good or bad it could do nothing 
but inspire and help me become a better writer.  Folks, I'm doing this 
for you as well as myself.   All feedback should be addressed to:
ebx@mindspring.com  or  iwant2blve@yahoo.com  
  
-Dedications & Inspirations-  Graves, Rambo, Rasch, Chait, S. Davis, 
Bower,  Harrison, Raine, Akimoto, DashaK, Nascent, Irving, Baker, 
Mosley, Schatz, Dupre, Esty, Culverson, Scott, XFBandit,  Michaela, 
Danza, Comet, Martin, Chelle, Selby, Rochelle, Sewell-Jennings..... you 
guys made all of this possible. 
 
Special Thanks:  Kim & Lauren.  For your kind words and enormous 
support, I offer my deepest thanks and gratitude. 

Started March 25, 1998.   Completed August 8, 1998.
  


  
  [Never for You... An X-Files novel]


  
  
Prologue  
  
"All other pleasures are not worth its pain."      -Plutarch  
  
	
     When the days roll into nights and the gentle stillness of life 
pushes at it's deliberate pace, the clarity of presence or the lack of 
one will bring to light those truths which you not only seek out but  
entertain only in passing thought.  That those truths may find 
themselves a resident of your heart, you have no choice. While the 
impossible ways in which life bends itself to the road less traveled, 
make the uniqueness  possible and the predictable impractical.  It is the 
pains of life that make the victory's essence sweeter, our hearts softer.  
  
  
  
[No Constant]  
  

Sometime in the future......
  
  
I-95 South  
Saturday, February 16  
  

The steel-belted whine of the tires beat a steady rhythm into the back of 
Fox Mulder's head as he drove on an impossibly long stretch of 
interstate towards home and the conclusion of another case.  
Approaching a myriad of thoughts, his burgeoning mind ran through 
it's customary after-case ruminations.  Wondering if he left anything 
behind at the hotel, making preliminary summaries in his mind for the 
report to be filed.  Tedious things.  Things that he would follow at a set  
pattern in order to give his life some semblance of order and a sense of 
reality, marking that it truly was his to negotiate.   Some days feeling as 
if his heartbeat was the only thing that he could depend on, he knew 
deep down he had another precious belonging that was always at his 
side. Had been, would be.    
  
More often than not lately, he strived harder for that order.  Normalcy 
almost.  His text books at Oxford called it just your normal atypical 
mid-life crisis.  Where other middle aged men reached backwards to 
arrest a youth they felt had passed them by, Mulder reached for things 
he had yet to capture.  

Just past the age of forty now and a tinge of worry lines bordering his 
eyes, Fox Mulder was the beneficiary of an insipid journey that had  
literally taken him to the corners of the globe in practice as well as in 
purpose.  In a great many respects, the journey had come to an end.  
The initial kindling used to create his existence, now exposed for what it 
was.  A hoax within a host of other lies used to consecrate the work. 

The project. 

The merchandise.

Him. 

A father once cursed, now seen in a new light.  A goal once in sight, 
now seemed distant in memory, if not for the fact he was reminded of it 
everyday.  Again, always at his side, always within arms reach. His 
answers received, his truth revealed, none celebrated.  
  
The X-files had realized success in unveiling the truths about plans so 
hideous, the inherent powers that be could not afford to resist them 
anymore.  Assurances were made and actions taken to end a plan of 
alien colonization that would not prosper with the magic and weapons  
secured in the ultimate struggle to survive.    

Along the way they found those truths, which if brought to light, would 
throw all aspects of assembled reality into chaos as  religion and science 
would clash into an uncontrollable war of fright and panic. The fight for 
the future had indeed been fraught with perilous entanglements, not the 
least of which had been his partners life.
  
Looking for that answer he sought most, in the end it was tragically 
thrown at him.  It was finally enough.   Enough that the sacrifice had 
outweighed the need to know, because knowing was far worse than not.   
Enough that the two responsible for it were finally allowed a moment's 
peace, allowed to slip back into routine existence in exchange for 
control.  

Control of the facts that were to be hoarded if the planet were to escape 
the rape of an alien civilization.  The moment's peace only found in the 
dead of night when all they heard were their heartbeats as she lay alone 
in her bed or him alone on his couch.  

A journey that began with trust, a distance traveled with faith and a 
destination that yielded the simple, brutal truth.   
  
  
*************  
  
  
Budgetary concerns in the travel office of the FBI lately made it difficult 
to get approval for airfare,  especially when the department  nobody 
gave a damn about dwelled in the basement of the Hoover building. 
Looking over to the right Mulder noticed that his partner was passed 
out, even snoring a little bit, right there as always, by his side.  
  
Mulder checked the cruise setting to make sure he was indeed setting a 
new speed record from Portland,  Maine to the nation's capitol.  The 
engine of the standard issue Ford Taurus that seemed to reside in  
perpetuity at every Lariat Rental Car agency they had ever been to, 
hummed along steadily.  Even at eighty miles per hour, a quick flash of 
his FBI credentials would get him out of any possible troubles with local 
law enforcers.  Three hours outside of D.C. and he was still not sure 
how he would explain to Skinner that a twelve year old was capable of  
pursuing and killing six people twice his size with little or no known  
motive or connection.   Their proof was undeniable and the confession 
would seal the case.  Astral  projection or not, a twelve year old 
murdering others was almost worthy of being an X-File just on those  
merits alone.  
  
"Hey, why didn't you wake me" came a well known, throaty voice 
from Mulder's right.  
  
"You were tired and you know I didn't want to disturb the queen of the 
FBI." 

Any other day, Scully might have been put off by his sarcastic tone, but 
she knew he was still sulking.  With a demented laugh, that she didn't 
try to cover, she basked in the glory of being right.  `Astral projection 
my ass, Mulder.'  

Scully kept her smug comments to herself and only let the look of 
satisfaction, written all over her face, stand as the reminder that she was 
the one who called this case to a close.  

`Oh well, maybe one smug comment.'

"So Mulder.... when can I cash in on my end of the deal?"    

The bet of course.  Throughout the years of working cases together, the 
two would occasionally bet on who would come up with the critical 
pieces of evidence to solve the case.   Who was right, who was wrong.  
Who's theory was most consistent, who's wasn't.  This time it was 
dinner.  Not a normal dinner, but a nice dinner.  

Mulder could only pray a tuxedo wouldn't be involved.  

Scully, by design of their assumed roles, didn't win the bets often, but 
when she did, she always made the most of the winnings.   Being the 
skeptic in any other partnership or unit of the FBI would probably be 
the more lucrative side to be on, but not in the X-files.  Maybe that's 
why Mulder didn't feel so bad when he lost, but he wouldn't let her 
know it.

"Whenever you want, oh mighty one."  

Mulder knew the kidding he sent her way was his way of playing 
spoilsport, but secretly he also knew she liked it.    
  
"Where are we?" she interrupted. After checking his watch and the 
mileage, "I have us about three hours from home."    
   	  
"You're speeding aren't you?"  
   
"You did say your mom would kill you if you didn't make it to her 
place by 6:30 tonight."  
  
"And my mom will kill you if you wrap us around a tree getting me 
there." 

Only the puzzling Dana Scully could get ill with someone by 
not keeping her awake and trying to help her keep a promise with her 
mother.  
  
"So....this big get-together is to celebrate your brother's new promotion 
and assignment?"   Not wanting to pry anymore, he waited for her 
response.   
  
"Basically. Mom just likes to find any excuse to have us together.   
Charlie will be overseas for the next two years and Bill Jr. doesn't get to 
the east-coast that often so I better not miss this or I'll suffer the 
wrath."  
  
"Bill's in town?  Give him my best will you?", Mulder offered in the 
straight laced, everyday tone he had perfected.    
  
Wincing as she remembered that argument outside of her hospital room 
which seemed long ago, she suddenly felt ashamed and angered at her 
brother's behavior.  That her brother would take such pleasure in 
relating to her the details of the encounter, made her sick.  It also 
explained why Mulder was so reluctant to share in the celebration 
afterwards.

Bill would never know how Mulder had supported and saved his sister.  
How it was Mulder that risked his life, his reputation and career for his 
sister.  The fact Mulder would never consciously point this out to him 
further puzzled Scully.  

`He was a devoted follower of the truth wasn't he?'   

He enjoyed flaunting out the truth whether it suited his purpose or 
not. Caring what others thought about him not having one affect on his 
state of existence. Having Bill find out the truth would be justification. 
Justification for all he had accused  Mulder of taking from him.  Melissa, 
his little sister and three months of her life.  
  
Seeing that he brought up a bad memory of a time better left forgotten, 
Mulder retreated.  "Scully, I really didn't mean to.. ......"   Silence 
permeated the car as road flew under them in a trance like pattern.    
  
Several miles later, Scully couldn't stand the issue hanging in the air, 
unanswered. "Don't worry about it, Mulder,  I haven't spoken to Bill in 
a while.  We... we just don't talk that much anymore."

"Scully...  I don't harbor any ill will or feelings for your brother."

"It's not that.... it's just......"  Her face restrained in anticipation.
"Does that mean you're coming... Mom asked too...."

Mulder rattled the idea around in his head for the hundredth time.  Since 
receiving the invitation from Scully two weeks ago and a written one 
through the mail from Margaret Scully, all Mulder could do was think of 
reason after reason not to go.  

Or were they excuses?

Releasing his held breath, he took his eyes off the road for a brief 
moment to look at his partner.  

"Don't take this the wrong way.... but I wouldn't feel very comfortable 
there........  I mean it's a family event and..." A truck passing him on the 
right interrupted his thoughts, however, the unfinished sentiment did 
not need to be completed.

`What was he going to say?  He's not family?  He wouldn't belong?'  
Scully wondered why he would think such.  

Since inviting Mulder two weeks ago, he had avoided the topic 
every time she brought it up.  As partners go, Mulder and Scully 
were as close as partners could be.  

Close, but not too close.  

Together, but always independent.  Her mother used the word `alone.' 

The invitation was an attempt from Scully to pull him in a little, she 
admitted to herself.  She had seen his mid-life crisis that he often tried to 
hide through humor and veiled innuendo.  

His search for stability.  

A hunger for something more.  

Examining her own life, especially since the remission of cancer, she too 
had found new ways to look at herself.  She was one of independence, 
no long term relationships or a husband as some social worker had once 
told her.    Looking back to that terrible time, she realized now how 
very little she and the social worker actually knew of her own life.   

As she reflected on the past few years especially, she had discovered 
that Mulder was her independence, the longest relationship she had 
ever maintained and in many ways, her husband.  They were wed on a 
March day years ago, ministered by Section Chief Blevins, in the 
sanctuary of a basement office in the Hoover building.  Blessed by 
Skinner, bound by the X-files.

Colleagues.

Who became partners.

Exploring a friendship.

Relying on trust.


Idly thinking, she entertained the idea of cashing in on her end of the 
bet and forcing him to join her tonight.  The bets were always born out 
of professional rivalry.  A friendly game of one ups-manship they often 
played to focus on the case at hand while keeping themselves in focus 
with each other.

Her arm leaning against the passenger side window with her knuckles 
pressed against her mouth, Scully let the subject drop, knowing she 
wouldn't convince him otherwise about what he intended to say.


*************

  
Arriving at her apartment at precisely 5:47 PM, he urged her to go on 
ahead and he would take care of her bags.  Lumbering in the front 
door he heard the shower running and a frantic few steps running 
around  between the bedroom and the bathroom.  

"Hey Scully, I'm gonna get going, have a good time, I'll see you 
Monday morning."    
  
Scully poked her head out the bathroom door with a nervous smile, 
"Thanks Mulder ......I'll see'ya Monday."    With that he stepped outside 
the door and re-locked it.  For both of them, Monday would arrive too 
soon in  more ways than one.  
  
  
*************  
  

An unspoken testament that the only constant in life is change was a 
possibility that faced them every day.  The noise of life pressing 
on, continuing at the pace of others as it always seemed.  Leading,  
following, flowing.    
  
The restructuring of the Internal Revenue Service after continual 
investigations brought about  waves of aftershocks.  Nobody 
ever could of dreamed of the unbelievable crimes against the public that 
this lone, seemingly, unaccountable organization could have 
perpetrated against the very people it was designed to serve.    
  
The confidence of a once proud national government was sent 
reeling overnight and the effects were devastating.  "Watergate" 
never came close to what people now referred to as "IRSHAM."  The  
loss of public support for the government literally turned the 
government over in the span of one election.   

With that came tighter budgets, simpler tax forms, and conservative 
views on the future.  Even the two political parties were torn apart into 
factions that were bitter, but along the way compromises were formed 
and a nation was on its way to a painful healing.     
  
Healing wasn't synonymous with prosperity though.  In order 
to purge the nation of its scandal, a penance would have to be paid.   A 
cloud that hung over  Washington for the past two years while the 
evidence was painstakingly revealed to the American public would 
soon cast a pall on government agencies nationwide.  Healing required 
changes.  Fundamental changes.  


*************
  
  
Office of Walter Skinner, Assistant Director    
Monday, February 18  
10:30 AM  
  
  
"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, please come in and have a seat."   

With an almost nervous look the Assistant Director waved them to their 
usual seats across from his desk.  
  
"So...the case in Maine is closed to my satisfaction and we will hand it 
over to the Portland DA officially  tomorrow..... correct?    

Mulder shifted in his seat with a wary look over at Scully who was 
intrigued with the appeared agitated state of anxiety of the AD as well.   
  
"We plan to file the case report with your office this afternoon,..... was 
that what you wanted to see us about?"   

Taken back by his boldness to pursue what was obviously  bothering the 
AD, Scully stole a quick glance at Mulder to try and see what his 
intentions were and silently voiced a warning to tread lightly.  The 
recent pressures mounting on the shoulder's of the Assistant Director 
were taking a toll.  
 
The AD leaned back in his chair and released a sigh that seemed more 
out of relief, rather than his usual  brand of frustration when it came to 
his eccentric agent.
  
Sitting there for several interminable minutes, the office remained quiet.

"Well, now that you bring it up........I didn't exactly bring you up here to 
summarize your recent activities."  
    
This brought the two junior agents to alert.  Skinner was out of his 
element at the moment and it showed.  A confident, intimidating 
presence inherent from his days of Marine training at Parris Island and 
sculpted in Viet-Nam soon disappeared as he rose from his desk and 
looked out of his office window.  He couldn't bear to face them.  
  
"Sir, what's wrong?"  Scully's whispery voice faded on the last syllable.
 
Finding the courage, Skinner walked down the all too familiar road of 
terminating one's life long work.

"The Justice Department has made its final decisions regarding the 
status of several key departments in the Bureau as well as future 
budgetary concerns. There have been massive cuts to our budget and 
quite a few field agents will soon find themselves..... assigned to other 
areas."  

Although not spoken aloud, the message was received.  Talks 
of trimming the Bureau's force down had been swirling around the 
hallways for weeks after the House of Representatives Oversight 
Committee for Budgetary Reform had convened.
  
The silence that deafened the office lasted for a full minute if not more.  
Scully was stone-faced and dropped  her head only cognizant that the 
most precious thing Mulder had in his life was finally being ripped from 
him in a cruel ironic twist.  That her first thought was for him wasn't a 
surprise to herself.  Mulder stared at the back of Skinner's head, 
knowing that in this last final blow, Skinner didn't even have the guts to 
look him in the eye.  
  
"I know the X-files were your project Mulder and no matter what has 
happened between us in the past... you need to know that I am truly 
sorry.....for both of you."  Skinner turned to face them both on his last 
words.  His sincerity was genuine.  

"It's just that... with all the cutbacks, the X-files aren't deemed a viable 
entity.  At least not viable enough to devote two agents full time to 
them."    
  
Mulder wanted  to rage against his superior with words and thoughts 
he wished to be true, but the finality of doing so with the knowledge 
that the budget concerns were legitimate made him calmer than even he 
expected.  
  
Scully looked up at Skinner, "Sir, what will become of us?"    
  
It was such a simple and hopeless sounding question that Skinner 
pivoted towards her to reassure her that things were not as bad as he 
may have led on.  

"First of all, the field agents that are being let go are being  selected due 
to several factors, ..... seniority, retirement status in regards to age, and 
most will come from the fifty-six field offices across the country.  It is 
estimated that only fifty or so agents will be let go out of the D.C. 
office."     
  
"You two are not in any jeopardy of losing your positions. Your work 
on the X-Files Scully, distinguished  you."  Hearing these words were a 
small comfort as her own words from long ago came back to her when  
she was still a fresh face meeting with Section Chief Blevins on a long 
ago March day.  
  
"Mulder, your profiling expertise and seniority demands that you go 
back to the Investigative Support Unit with  Violent Crimes.  You will 
be the third highest senior agent in the department......so don't worry 
about the wiretap detail."
  
This actually produced a chuckle from both Skinner and Mulder and a 
bemused smile from Scully.  The tension was relieved as much as it 
could be in light of the situation, but Skinner was not finished.  
  
'Here it comes,' Mulder thought.    
  
"Agents...... your specialized talents in your respective fields dictate 
that you concentrate on those areas to insure the maximized benefit."    
  
A cold and indifferent way to tell partners that their time together 
was ending. Had ended.  A few convoluted words strung together to 
end a partnership, a marriage of hearts and minds bound in design with  
shared passion to confront the unknown.  

Scully took a sidelong glance to see Mulder still riveted by the news.  
`Which news specifically would that be,' she asked herself.  The X-files 
or her.  Remembering a few desperate words said to her in a hallway, 
she relived the plea over in her mind begging her to understand what she 
had come to mean to him and his work.  

More to the point, his life.
  
Back to the present moment, Skinner's next words shook her from her 
thoughts.  "Scully, you have a choice to make.  You can either remain 
with the VCS as a field agent or report to Quantico to resume your 
teaching position that you held before you came here.  I don't think I 
need to tell you where I would like to see you.  Your skills would be 
better suited to field status.  You have demonstrated that having a 
pathologist in the field at crimes scenes can make the difference 
between making or breaking a case.  If you do remain you will rotate 
with other agents in order to use your talents where the  VCS sees them 
best utilized."  
  
Looking her over for a minute to make sure she had digested the 
information, he waited for the standard question allowing her time to 
think it over.  He was prepared to give her whatever time she wanted to 
make her decision.  
  
"Sir, how long do we have to wrap things up and  report to VCS?"   

This reaction from Scully prompted  Mulder to quickly glance to his 
partner for the first time since this had all began.  Her mind was already 
made up.  
  
Skinner too was caught a little off guard by her quick decision, but who 
could blame her for not wanting to  go back to standing over corpses all 
day.   At least with the VCS she could see fresh ones, he realized.
   
Suddenly repulsed at his own thoughts, "Uhhh........you  have two 
weeks to follow through on any cases you have open and clear out the 
basement.  It will go back  to being a auxiliary copy/supply room.   That 
is assuming you accept your new positions."  Skinner's eyes focused 
on Mulder who had been unusually quiet.   
  
Scully was for a moment concerned that a hasty resignation was on the 
way, but Mulder looked straight-ahead seemingly as if he had not 
heard a word for the last few minutes.  
  
"Mulder, this is not the end of the X-files.  They may not have its own 
division, but I'm sure that strange and inexplicable cases will somehow 
find their way to your desk from time to time."  
  
"Also, look at the bright side .....you won't report directly to me
anymore"     
  
Finding his trademark sense of humor just in time, " I knew there was a 
reason to get up this morning."   

Despite her better judgment, Scully relented and laughed a little at one 
of Mulder's dry comments, trying to ease the mood.  She didn't often 
allow him the pleasure, but in an effort to relax the mood in the office, 
Scully gave in to the moment.
   
The look on Skinner's face revealed a certain amount of relief and mock 
injury.  Standing back up to signal their dismissal.  He paused them 
before they got a chance to turn for the door.  
  
"You two also need to know.....you've been a pain in my ass over the 
years ........ I'm gonna miss you guys."   The emotions of the past years 
swept through the room in a fleeting instant.  The trials and tribulations 
of struggle, defeat, and yes even a few victories came to the surface in a  
heartbeat.   
  
"Thank you both.  Even though you won't be reporting to me, you 
know if you ever need a friend to talk to .....  I would be honored if you 
would think of me."    
  
Mulder nodded and looked at Scully.  "Come on partner, we've got 
some work to do."  

It was in that instant that the word partner seemed to take on a greater 
meaning.  Knowing full well that the "official" status of being partners 
was coming to an end, they both soon discovered the word `partner' was 
the only description that they had formally used to hang on this 
complex, yet rewarding relationship.    
  
Exiting the office, they walked to the elevator in silence.  The gravity 
of the past hour's implications on their futures made the air heavy.  As 
they both entered the car and the basement level was selected, they 
both avoided eye contact and nothing was said.  Not much could be  
said now.  
  
Living on borrowed time since day one, the pair of rogue FBI agents 
descended in silence to the basement which had been their home for so 
long.  Mulder's reaction to the news was somewhat surprising to Scully.  
She was expecting disbelief, fury, and a possible curse word or two  
towards Skinner.  Shock would have even been something for her to 
hold onto, but this time he seemed different.  
  
Mulder's exterior was cool, almost relieved as if a burden had been 
lifted.  Or was it the ax that had dropped on his neck? After the events 
of the past few years, and for that matter, over the years he had 
mellowed a bit.  He was not as withdrawn or antagonistic towards 
others.  He was actually respectful to the point of nice on occasion.  She 
had seen the journey transform him into a man of incredible depth even 
when all he could think of was how shallow his life had become.  

He was still the obsessive, workaholic, insensitive egomaniac that drove 
her to madness, but over time they had been able to read each other a 
little better and adjust to each others rhythms.  
  
"Mulder,......I don't know what to say.....how....what..."  Scully 
stammered a bit as she unlocked the office. 
  
They walked in and Mulder took his place behind his desk while   
Scully sat in her chair in front of it as always.  She looked at him and he 
looked knowingly into her eyes.  The silence was comfortable and a 
conversation took place between them that no one else could hear.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"I don't know........... Scully,"  with a low, almost barely audible voice.  
"I know I should be angry......but somehow .........I knew this would 
happen all along.  As soon as Matheson lost his seat, I pretty much 
knew that my pull would not be strong enough to keep this division 
under the restructuring."  Mulder held his head in his hands willing the 
recently acquired headache to vanish while rubbing his temples.  
  
"You really have come a long way, haven't you?"  
  
Devoid of any implications or forethought, "It seems we've all changed 
a bit." 
  
Mulder bit off a chuckle conveying his disbelief at the circumstances   
in which the X-files were ending.  "This is typical...... in the end,
 money?"  
  
Looking down towards her lap, Scully studied her hands.  
  
An awkward silence surrounded the office and turned time into a slower 
form of its usual self.   Mulder leaned forward with his chin resting on 
his thumbs while his fingers interlocked.  
  
"Scully, I........" Mulder hesitated to continue and closed his eyes 
searching for what he was going to say.  His numbness had barely 
evaporated from the previous hours events. The beginnings of the 
magnitude with such certain finality just starting to make its way into 
his consciousness, the look on his face almost born of despair while the 
glistening of his eyes said more than any thing he could have said with 
words.   How could all of the years be summed up in words? 

Sometimes there were no words.  
  
Seeing the evolution of his misery begin, Scully turned her head to the 
side a little faster than she intended and stared off distantly.   The 
emotions she felt were not readily definable.  Putting her in a position 
that she was not usually in, she was speechless.  Deciding to concentrate 
on her sweaty palms as they rest in her lap she didn't see it coming.    
  
A clattering of pencils flying towards the file cabinets followed by the 
desk lamp hurtling against the far wall in what was known as 'her' area 
jarred her back from the jumble of thoughts racing in her head.  Before 
the  metal and glass instrument of frustration could hit the ground a 
shouting curse towards the heavens made her jump.  It had taken him a 
little longer than she expected, but he was finally unraveling.  
  
Out of control, beyond that which he usually held onto, Mulder found a 
stapler and heaved it too, watching it explode into five or six broken 
pieces of plastic, rubber, and metal.  No words, just idle destruction of 
everyday mindless objects.  

Still not satisfied he picked up the perceived bane of his lonely 
existence.  His picture of him and Samantha leaning against a tree in 
what was  their childhood front yard.   
  
Frightened and now disgusted at his outrage, Scully watched in horror 
as the metaphorical piece of evidence was about to join the other 
remnants of broken dreams and promises unfulfilled.    
  
Briefly looking at his own intentions, Mulder moved his arm backwards 
in preparation for the final assault to his all but short-lived world.    
  
"NO!"  Scully grabbed the frame in his hand and played a smaller 
version of tug of war with him for it.    
  
"Stop, Mulder.... please... stop."  Her voice cracking in a muffled plea 
for him to calm down.  
  
Letting go, Mulder slumped back down into his worn leather chair, 
defeated by his own better judgment and his partner.  `Weren't they the 
same,' he once asked himself.  
  
"It's not going to solve anything,  Mulder.   It's over.  There is nothing 
we can do about it this time."  
  
Wanting desperately to reach out and comfort him, she was still wary, 
afraid his tantrum was not over.   Mulder would never do anything 
purposely to hurt her, but intentions, no matter how good, usually fell  
back in defeat to base emotions.  
  
The picture frame still in her hand, she wouldn't dare place it back on his 
desk no matter how much trust she had for him.  It would go with her if 
it had to.  The symbolic picture standing for the very reason that Scully  
had followed Mulder all those years.  Samantha had brought them 
together in design and was now slowly splintering them apart.  

Since the revelation that his father had staged her abduction in order to  
protect her and humanity, the hatred and beliefs he had been holding to 
about his father were crumbling in an all too confusing way.  It had all 
made sense and then it had destroyed what he had sought for so long.   
Finding out his life had been designed to uncover the project, while his 
sister was at the heart of it, trying to preserve it and the human race.... 
two opposing forces in search for the same result.    
  
His hands covering his face, Mulder wiped his eyes of the resilient tears 
that he was too tired to shed  anymore.  Trying to break the gloomy 
mood.  "I never even got you that desk."  
  
Relieved at first to hear this calmer voice, Scully's eyes widened at the 
dreary words of her partner.  
  
"I promised myself, one day....... you would walk in and be shocked as 
hell."  
  
Her eyes closed, she shook her head back and forth teasingly in 
disbelief of his empty promise.  
  
Getting up, he came around to kneel in front of her chair.  "I'm sorry... I 
didn't mean to... lose it there..."

Cautiously looking back to him, she listened to him continue.  "Scully, 
you're on your way to the top now and no one will be able to stand in 
your way ..your time has come."  
  
Sensing that he was referring to himself, "Mulder, you have never stood 
in my way and if I do make it to the top, it could only be because you 
led me there."    Deeply touched, Mulder was dumbfounded    
  
Mulder sat on the front edge of his desk and Scully sat back in the 
chair.  A nod of the head coupled with a sad frown was all he could 
come up with.  Returning to his seat he opened the file on his desk and 
did  nothing but stare at the spectacle of words that filled the page, lost 
in the events of the past hour.  
  
  
*************  
  
The air in the small basement office cleared a little, but no much more 
would be said.  Nothing could be said, at least not yet.  Lunch was at a 
small corner deli-cafe down the street.  A little too fancy for Mulder's 
taste, but he could always find something while Scully tap-danced with 
her usual offering.  
   
The unlikely tranquillity of the walk down the block to the small cafe 
was telling more than words.  Scully, lost again in herself flinched at his 
sudden words.  The first she had heard from him in almost two hours.  
"I never asked you why you wanted to stay in the field rather than  
teach."    
  
Making sure it was him that had asked, she considered her quick 
decision again, knowing in her heart what  was true.  

"Well, after teaching for two years and that time back while the X-files 
were shut down, after all we've seen and done... it just doesn't seem very 
appealing anymore.  With the budget cuts, it would probably get worse 
and the classes would get fewer and far between.  I enjoy solving cases, 
finding answers to things that matter.....you taught me that."  
  
Looking off into the sea of happier people milling around the small 
restaurant, "Things that really matter?"  
  
"Mulder, you're speaking like you're not going to be here anymore........ 
what are YOU going to do?"  
  
"Actually, .....I don't know.  I don't know if I want to go back to that 
world.  I don't know if I can survive another tour of duty in there."  
Mulder suddenly shivered at the thought as his physical appearance  
darkened with the thought of 'serial monsters' as he had once called 
them.  
  
Scully could see the doubts raging in his darkened eyes.  "I hope you'll 
... stay for a little while at least.  I  mean...give it another chance...maybe 
it won't be as bad this time."  
  
Mulder scoffed, "Yeah, it'll be worse.  Every time you go in Scully, you 
seem to go a little deeper, until one day... your life.... what little life you 
have is stolen from you..... then what will I have left?"  
  
Scully slowly raised her eyes to meet his again, "You'll have your 
career..." trying to think quickly as she thought about all he had lost 
over the years along with what he had just lost this morning, "you'll still 
have me."  The last words were spoken softly and with a determination 
that Scully usually saved for the scientific points of contention in her 
usual battles with Mulder.  
  
In a small, and confusingly, honest voice, Mulder held their gaze, "Will 
I?"   
  
Scully and Mulder spent the remainder of their walk back to the Hoover 
building in quiet contemplation of those two words.  
  
  
**************  
  
  
  
The day she feared would come had. With the end of the X-files also 
came an end to the partnership with Mulder.  Over the years they had 
seen a lot, supported each other strongly, and persevered through the 
tumultuous obstacles thrown at them.  Together they had fought  
against the enemies valiantly and more times than not came out better 
than they could have prayed for.  Yes, they had sacrificed too much.  
Yes, they had endured more than anyone should have.  No, as she told  
Mulder one time, she wouldn't change a day...... except for this day.  
The day she was told that their time was over.  
  
Apart is where their professional future now lay. She saw in his eyes 
today that same fear.  A fear that she had seen in his eyes before, but 
not this kind.  Scully knew the her feelings for Mulder ran deep as well 
as his did in return.  Deeper than she could have ever imagined.
  
Although they didn't talk about themselves very much, it was like a 
game they played,  knowing that if they put an energy into 
understanding what they were, what they had come to mean to each 
other, it might take some of the invisible glue off what held them 
together so tightly.  A subject rarely broached, but often wondered 
about. Today, Scully felt the glue straining.  
  
Once more they would walk down the path of change, however this 
time apart.  The partnership so full of trust and respect, silently a 
touchstone for each other during their time.  One holding onto the other 
for the reserves of support that they so often took from the other.  
Never having to ask, afraid to admit it.      
  
The next few weeks would be an unbearable torture as the two would 
involuntarily be forced into their own memories of shared time together.  
As partners they had been through so much that remembering  
everything was impossible.  

Incredible.  

Unimaginable. 

Unthinkable.
  
Scully's relationship with Mulder had been the most influential one in 
her life to date, barring her parents of course, but where they would go 
from here was what ultimately scared her the most.  She needed his 
direction and she wanted his guidance just as she had once followed 
her father's back to him, merely supported by the strength of his beliefs. 

  
************  
  
X-Files office  
Friday, March 6   
5:30 PM  
  
The two weeks passed by at faster rate than both of them would have 
liked and Friday evening saw them packing up the last of their personal 
belongings that would be transferred to their new areas, desks, offices  
or whatever lay ahead.     
  
The walls were bare and the basement had not looked this tidy since it 
was remodeled after the fire.  The nameplates from the door were gone 
along with the computer,  credenza, and most of the filing cabinets.  The 
mood was somber, reflective, yet positive. The steps towards a new 
career path were only minutes away and time yielded itself to their 
moods.  
  
"We've come a long way Mulder..."  
  
Looking around at what had been his home for so long, he looked back 
to Scully.  "We sure did.."  
  
The moment that both had dreaded was now upon them.  The end had 
officially come to pass a little over thirty minutes ago.  Scully fidgeting 
around with her things, tried to find something to keep her hands busy  
with while Mulder finished his silent vigil.   
  
Mulder could sense her uneasiness as well as his own.  He put his last 
box of personal effects on what used to be his desk, their desk.  With 
his back turned to her, he breathed deeply wanting to wake up from this 
nightmare knowing it wouldn't happen, not this time.  
  
"Scully?"  He said slightly louder than a whisper. Turning around to 
face each other at the same time, a  resounding impression of finality 
hung in the air.  

"I guess a simple `thank you' wouldn't be enough, would it?"  
  
Classic Scully, she looked up with a questioning look.  Holding silent 
she wasn't sure what she wanted to say or even what she thought he 
would want to hear.  
  
Smiling through her concern for him, "It's enough to hear you ask, 
Mulder."  
  
Their eyes meeting and locking onto one another's, like so many times 
before, Mulder forced himself to smile as best he could.  Closing the 
distance, Scully hesitantly wrapped her arms around Mulder as he 
returned the embrace.  

For several minutes they stood there in silence letting the emotions that 
had been unbearably building up the past two weeks, drain.  No words 
could be spoken when they were already saying so much together in  
each other's arms.  
  
Releasing a few minutes later, Scully looked up to him while she kept 
one arm loosely around his waist.   "I enjoyed it, you know?  All these 
years..... you've taught me so much... about life....about who I am..."  A 
single tear escaped.  
  
Shaking his head slowly, he caught the tear with his thumb.  "No.. I 
think it was you that taught me a few things."  
  
Smiling through the pain, Scully tiptoed up and kissed his cheek while 
whispering to him.  "Never forget the good times, Mulder."  
  
Pulling her in, Mulder held Scully tighter than he ever had.  "I won't, 
Scully... I won't."  

Leaning back they just stared into each other.  The seconds flowing by 
as they held onto a look that said so much.

With a small amount of hesitation, as if it were the most natural 
every day occurrence between these old friends, Mulder gently pressed 
his lips to hers in a warm kiss lasting only a little longer than considered 
partnerly.  

The idea of Mulder kissing her having been rationalized a long time ago, 
Scully returned the kiss just as he began to pull away.  A few seconds 
more of what might have been.  

What still might be.  

At least now, could be.
  
Pulling back to see the surprise and smile on Scully's face, Mulder 
couldn't help himself.  "I knew we would get that right one day."  
  
Softly chuckling at Mulder's intrinsic ability to create humor out of 
everything, "Well, it's about time."  
  
Reaching around and grabbing their coats, they both looked around the 
office one more time.  As he flipped  the light off she peered up into his 
eyes looking for some of his direction that they usually held.  Mulder 
closed the door and slid the two keys in an envelope under the  
doorway for maintenance to find.  
  
Pointing to his watch, Mulder stared to her as if she were a new case 
file. "Could be an X-File you know?"  
  
"Mulder....after what I've seen there are no reasons to believe that the 
correlation between today's date and ........"  With a sudden change in 
her voice and demeanor she suddenly snapped out of 'scientist' mode,  
"You know what Mulder?  For once I'm going to agree with you.  Just 
to prove that miracles do happen."  
  
Throwing his head back with a rather loud laugh, "Oh, Scully,  please 
don't tell me you're going soft on me now."    
  
She smirked and joined in, smiling brightly as they walked up the stairs 
together.  "Maybe you should have tried kissing me sooner, Mulder."  
  
Walking up the stairs, Mulder could be heard, trailing off.  "I seem to 
recall trying that once...."  
  

*************


The laughter faded as the walk to the parking deck became 
painstakingly slow.  The closer they got to their cars, the closer the end 
was coming.  Realization was sinking in with each foot that was put in 
front of the other.   Memories of times gone by could not be overlooked 
as they walked up this stairwell for the last time.  

They were different. A little older, a little wiser, some would say worn 
down by the events of what they had been through. They had survived 
and thrived by themselves, but most importantly for themselves.  They 
had, until this point only each other to depend on.  
  
Approaching their cars, Scully hesitated at first,  "So.......where do we 
go now?"  

With their partnership terminated, the focus of this question bored to 
the heart of the matter.  
  
Mulder, solemn in his response, "I  guess ...we move on."  

Looking over to her with a tight smile, he wanted desperately to forget 
the past week. Losing the X-files was killing him inside, if not for the 
work itself, but for the experiences that it had brought  him and the 
savior that it delivered into his dark life.  
  
As she watched him pull away only the whisper of a voice could be 
heard, "Good-bye, Mulder."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
It was interesting how life threw that curve ball just when you didn't 
want it. Mulder's time in the X-files and especially with Scully had been 
hard, but rewarding in a  distorted way.  The answers he so desperately 
craved, he had found to his own horror.  He was now more certain than 
ever, that without Scully, he would still be searching.  Searching in vain 
for his elusive truths,  trying to recapture something so far gone that it 
made perverse sense that he should continue to look for the answers.  
Scully made him work for those answers and even when he strayed she 
was there to guide him back to the goal.    
  
How his goals became hers was both tragedy and a blessing.  She never 
once openly blamed Mulder for her  abduction and the resulting 
misfortunes that came about.  She did her best to hide it from him 
because she chose to follow his path, but deep down Mulder  
knew she held some doubt as to whether her decision to continue with 
him was wise.  Every once in a while he could see it in her eyes.    
  
Mulder couldn't help but parallel the events of the past two weeks to 
the time before when the Justice Department ordered reassignment after 
the office was burned.  Maybe Salt Lake City would not have been so 
bad, he strangely thought to himself.  It wasn't enough they  
take away his work, they had to destroy it.  Those next few weeks and 
months they survived and were able to continue overcoming obstacles 
never imagined in the worst science fiction movie ever made.  Together,  
alone.  
  
Now that they were separated again professionally, Mulder couldn't 
help wondering what is in store in the future.  It was not like before, 
when it was the evil doings of the shadowy men they constantly fought 
against.  This time it is even more real... final.  Hating  himself 
sometimes for feeling so strongly about Scully, it didn't seem fair that 
someone like her came into his life and sacrificed so much for him and 
his cause. 

Knowing full well  that it became her cause as well, he wanted only the 
best for her.  So pure of heart and committed to the higher road, he felt 
sure he would never meet another soul so giving and compassionate.  
  
Remembering her in his arms a few short  hours before, he too felt her 
slipping away.  Not physically, but within the confines of the unknown 
future which now lay ahead. As they clung to each other and in a sense  
to their own past, he remembered feeling her heartbeat, wondering if he 
would ever be able to feel it again.  
  
  
  


[Definitions]  


 
J. Edgar Hoover Building 
Monday, March 9   
8:48 AM
  
  
Monday morning at the Bureau was unlike most Monday mornings for a 
lot of reasons. An air of change radiated throughout building.  Not only 
were people rearranging furniture, introducing themselves formally to 
new colleagues, and generally causing havoc, they were getting 
absolutely no work done at all.   Some areas of the newly defined VCS 
were edgy, some were loud and obnoxious, and some were deathly 
quiet.   Cliques were forming as each other tried to figure how to keep 
some semblance of the old while learning to adjust to the new.    
  
To say Mulder was apprehensive to return to his old stomping grounds 
was a bit of an understatement.  There were people in here that had  
discredited him for years, hated his success, and thought of him as 
'spooky.'  Depending on how the term was used and by who, it could be 
a term of endearment or a shove to the gut.   Mulder had a high 
tolerance that had built up over the last eight or nine years, but it didn't 
mean he could put it out of his mind.  Office politics had never been his 
strong suit , nor did he have any desire to learn.  He was a maverick, he 
knew it and he liked it.  His mantra of  "as long as it's the truth" had 
never won him friends or loyalties, but aside from Scully he could care 
less.  
  
Mulder was busy unpacking a what few things he could bring with him.  
His desk was the same as his old one but located out in the bullpen with 
the other agent's desks.   It was also adjacent the main conference  
room, signifying his senior status, but only ASACs got their own 
offices.    
  
"Hello stranger," came a familiar voice.  Mulder looked up from his 
framed picture of his sister Samantha to see Scully approaching.  
  
"Scully.... you ready for this?"  

Looking around and gesturing with his hand he gave her a wary 
expression.  He was also feeling something different.  Hitting him in the 
jaw, like a fist, it really hit home in that instant that new parameters 
were being set, new definitions being chartered.  She would not be 
sticking around to listen to his latest ramblings or debate his theories on 
some arcane case he had found in some section's garbage pile.  
  
"I don't know, I guess we'll find out.  The section meeting should be 
entertaining."  
  
Not able to meet her eye to eye he muttered, "We'll be all right.....so 
where is your desk?"  Mulder had taken notice of the box she had set 
down on his desk while on her way to find hers.    
  
A slight difference in his usual banter was noted silently, "I...uh... 
believe it is that one over there," she said pointing to an empty desk 
about twenty yards away.  It was facing Mulder's and was next to a 
water fountain.    
  
"Ahhh... you got my old fountain desk I see."  Mulder could sense an 
uneasiness and tried to lighten the  mood. 

"For a period of about two years, this office was very parched....they 
stayed away from  "Spooky".  However, I must admit that was during 
my younger and wilder days."  
  
"Wilder.....?"  Scully said with a look that classified this as 
unbelievable and possibly unfathomable prospect.  
  
"Don't worry, Scully, I have a feeling the fountain will be much busier 
these days."     
  
Just as she was about to reply, a voice from the past interrupted them. 
"So look who's here......if it isn't Mr. and Mrs. Spooky.   Have any close 
encounters lately? Oh.....sorry, that division was shut down.  It looks 
like you're back to playing with the grownups now."  
  
Agent Fuller was dripping sarcasm and a smugness that could have 
mistaken him as royalty if he were in the right country.  Mulder sighed 
and rolled his eyes, doing his best to keep his outward appearance from 
revealing his desire to choke him to an early grave.  Before he could  
respond, Scully beat him to it.  
  
"Fuller, lets get a few things straight now that we're here.  I don't like 
you.  Mulder doesn't like you... So do us a huge favor and get lost!"  

By this time her voice had grown louder while the bulk of people in the 
bullpen area grew more quiet taking notice of this conversation.  It 
seemed as though they were just as interested to see the results of this 
ice-breaking exchange as the participants.  Mulder was smoldering 
towards Fuller, daring for him to try and make a comeback.    
  
Fuller slithered off mumbling a few obscenities.  

"Damn, Scully....I can't take you anywhere."  

She grinned up at Mulder and felt a tinge of embarrassment for saying 
what she had like that, but she felt that this was kind of good to get it 
out of the way.  And for an instant the old team of Mulder and Scully 
was back.   
  
Sticking up for one another brought back a familiar sense of 
camaraderie.  Maybe people would get over her and Mulder being 
among the other agents like regulars.  "He's still pissed about your 
senior status over him,  Mulder."  
  
Looking hurt, "I think that's the first time a woman has ever defended 
my honor, Scully"     
  
"How easily you forget, but if you want to take me some place safer you 
might want to invite me to lunch today........ and we'll call it even?"  
  
Mulder didn't quite know what to make of her offer.  Or was it his?

"Yeah.....uh....the orientation meetings will be over by 12:30, I'll meet 
you at your desk at...say 12:45...that okay?"  Mulder pulled out his chair 
and looked towards the picture on his desk.  Falling back into their 
uneasiness, he looked up and offered a weakened half-smile.  
  
"I'll see you then........stay out of trouble,"  she said in trying her best to 
quell her suspicions.  
  
Unable to attend their lunch as planned, Mulder left her a note telling 
her he was tied up in meetings.   Scully was disappointed, but 
understanding.  She wondered if it were such a good idea to push 
things.   She had sensed a small change and wondered if the new 
setting was throwing Mulder off.  They both had new duties and 
responsibilities to take care of.  Things would get better.
  
*************  
  
  
The days passed as they both settled in their new positions.  The 
restructuring went better than the Bureau had hoped for, with the 
exception of a few minor logistical concerns.   Mulder was spending 
most of his time working on missing persons cases, while Scully rotated 
to wherever pathology was crucial.   She traveled a bit more than 
Mulder but overall less than she used to with the X-Files.   The budget 
cuts saw to that and with the advent of technology, more and more 
cases were referred to the VCS through electronic means. Expense 
reports were incredibly detailed now and required a receipt for   
everything.  Every hotel, gas fill-up, meal and cab-ride were 
documented.  
  
The conventions of their relationship were changing and the 
uneasiness they experienced that first day in the bullpen continued. 
When they were together as partners, it was enough that they were 
together and enjoying each other's company, most of the time.   They 
relied on one another for companionship and some of the things they 
had missed in what other people called normal lives.   Somehow 
that made the lack of a social life not seem as important, but now they 
were working with other people and rarely saw each other. 

Other than a few consults on a case here or there and a passing "hey" 
in the bullpen that was it.  They both made eye-contact, when possible, 
that told each other they were okay or a typical "I'm fine", but the lack 
of being together was literally pulling them apart.     
  
  
*************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland 
Dana Scully's Apartment  
Thursday, March 28  
10:14 PM  
  
The soft strings of a violin playing from a stereo in her bedroom draped 
the apartment in a peaceful and  relaxed mood.  Sitting at her desk, 
Scully was rereading the same file for the third time, having difficulty  
concentrating.  
  
Pulling one leg up under the other, she let her mind drift with the solo 
section from a piece of classical music she liked to listen to when given  
the chance.  It was a refreshing pastime she enjoyed when not worrying 
about Mulder and sometimes while at work, when it found its way home 
with her.  Flowing with the piano that had chimed in, she considered the 
quiet nature of her apartment.  

Luckily, she had moved into a place that was full of young professionals 
that were usually as busy as her.  Apart from the  sounds of a creaking 
floorboard or two from the guy that lived upstairs, her place was 
peaceful.  In fact, the only time she heard from her neighbors was 
usually when it involved her and the police.  What a depressing 
thought.  
  
Why was it so quiet here, lately?  No insistent phones ringing, not 
many messages being left on her machine.    
  
As that last thought entered her mind, the phone sitting next to her on 
the desk did ring.  Blaring loudly into the tranquil apartment, she stared 
at it, amazed at the coincidence.  
  
"Scully."  
  
"Hey!  It's me... Mulder"  
  
She had never thought about it consciously, their strange way of 
conversing with each other on the phone until he had mentioned his 
name just then.  What once held an intrinsic air of comfort now 
was full of the unknown.
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah, you remember me.  Tall, dark, 'Spooky'?"  
  
"Mulder.... I know, it's just been a while."  
  
"So, I'm out of your hair for three weeks and you forget me?"  He 
offered, teasing.  
  
"No, it's just..... what's wrong, Mulder?"  
  
A brief silence on the line, "Nothing......I just...."  

He paused again, "Does something have to be wrong for me to give 
you a call?"  
  
"No, but it never stopped you before."  Wishing she hadn't said it so 
coolly, she thought she detected a bit of hurt in his voice.  
  
Another agonizing silence. 

"Just calling to say hello, I guess.  I haven't heard from you in a while. 
Wondering how you were settling in."     
  
Staring at her phone as if it had landed from another planet, she 
wondered if this was the same Mulder she had worked with. Always to 
the extreme.  Either overly concerned or completely oblivious to her at 
all sometimes.  

"Oh. Sorry, I've just been busy.  You know, with all the reorganization.  
I've been working with a lot of different people, trying to get used to it."  
  
"I... I figured as much."  
  
An unlikely moment of awkwardness pervaded through the phone line, 
each in search of  something to say.  
  
"I'll let you go, Scully.  I just wanted to say hi."  
  
Letting the smallest glimmer of a smile tug at her lips, she wondered 
when her partner would ever stop revealing new sides to his 
personality.  "It's okay.  I was just vegetating here anyway."  
  
Despite her best senses telling her not to ask, she couldn't help herself.  
"You sure you're okay?"  
  
Miffed at her repeated question.  "Yeah.... I'm great."  
  
"Since, you know, Mulder.....just because we're not partners anymore.  
That doesn't mean you can't call me."  
  
"That's what I thought I was doing."  His witty retort falling short of its 
mark took on a whole different meaning.  

Trying to recover, "I know, Scully.  I hope you're aware the same goes 
for you ."  
  
"Anytime, anywhere?"  
  
"Anytime, anywhere, Scully"  
  
A few moments later, after hanging up, Mulder too stared at his phone 
as if he wasn't sure he was talking to the person he had called his 
partner all those years.  

She sounded different.  Distant.  

The times together in the office debating points of logic.  Removed.  

The trips to various places all over the country.  Detached.  

Feeling bad because he hadn't called her sooner, he now felt worse.  
The constant debate had raged in his mind after his first five days 
without seeing or hearing from her.  

Mulder didn't want to call her for no reason, but as the days wore on he 
bounced between calling her and not calling.   With each day crept by, 
his mind played further tricks on him.  Should he call her and hear her 
ask why she hadn't heard from him?  `No, she would never do that.'  
Yet, as time slipped on each day compounded his problem until he had 
gotten sick of it all.  

Then look what happened.  `Maybe I'll take her out some place nice.  
She never did collect on that bet from the last case,' Mulder thought to 
himself.  We'll be back to ourselves then.
  
Trying to put it out of his mind, Mulder found his remote and hit the 
play button again.  
  

*************


Four weeks had passed since the phone call.  Each sub-consciously 
aware of the strained voice at the other end waiting for a crumb to grasp 
onto.  Mulder would rethink his actions and debate over his wisdom in 
seeking the contact, but knew that something was not the same.  Not 
quite right.  Some underlying voice of tension reaching between the two 
to extinguish the desire to say or do something to get it all back, fearing 
that whatever was said might be construed as inappropriate  


The Tavern Inn
Friday, April 23
9:12 PM

Looking down to check her watch, Scully suddenly wondered seriously 
about the chances of re-opening the X-files.  If for no other reason than 
to open a file on her current dinner companion and date.
  
Out of nowhere, he had called up like a long lost friend.   When had he 
become so bold?  He had always been a confident man, but she had no 
idea he might pursue her in this manner.  At least not this soon.  Their 
first date the previous Friday night had been awkward at first, but she 
had gone willingly to fulfill her end of the deal.  For as long as she had 
known him it was, she thought, to be expected of course.  He was a 
loner and dealing with new surroundings.

What was more disturbing was how much she enjoyed seeing her friend 
in this light.  He had been a total gentleman, which she expected.  He 
had been funny, which she knew and remembered fondly.  He had even 
picked up the check.  The liberated woman inside overlooked that last 
comment from her conscience.  

Comparing this night to the one a week ago, however, she saw a 
complete transformation.  The constant bombardment of questions, 
both personal and professional.  Why was he so interested now?    The 
eyes she knew so well were fixated.  

Her dress.  

Her face.  

Her hair.

Her chest.

After listening to him rattle on about some encounter he had endured at 
work, Scully watched in horror as he ever so slowly slid around the 
corner booth to move in closer.  `Where is his hand going?'

`Oh my God.'

Scully watched in disbelief as her `date' placed his hand on her knee, 
slowly working its way towards her thigh.  Her sudden arousal was 
surprising if not totally exciting.   The touch of a man on her body in 
this way felt almost alien it had been so long.

Another look to her companion and she knew this possibility was the 
most extreme they had ever considered.


  
*************  
  
  
New York City  
Manhattan Borough  
11:07 PM  
  
Sitting back in his chair a fair haired man, slightly younger looking than 
his age would let on, eased his hand of the television remote.  Engulfed 
at the sight of the man before him, he saw his dreams mirrored in the 
man's eyes just as he heard them in his voice.  The man on the screen 
was a solid twenty years his junior and had spent a great deal of time   
in the media spotlight just as himself recently, only to find the younger 
man thrust into a position he was unwilling to assume or desire.  
  
Noticing his full head of hair, an angelic smile that most Hollywood 
agents would kill for and a distinct southern dialect in his voice,  a pang 
of jealousy coursed through him, overtaking his senses in a frightenly 
aggressive manner.    
  
Years of government service, grooming his own persona for the 
ultimate prize, the silver haired gentleman threw the plastic encased 
device that would change channels at the wall, apathetic at the 
consequences.   

Creeping up on him intensely, rage was the next emotion to overtake his 
thoughts as he considered the potential loss of what he had worked so 
hard for, only to have it dangled in front of the face of an opponent so 
easily.  
  
Picking up the phone, he dialed a longer series of numbers than usual.  
Waiting for the other end of a mobile phone to pick up, he anxiously 
waited with the ideas to a plan already formulating in his mind.  
  
The game he had played for years was suddenly full of passive people, 
seemingly willing to take what was given to them, unaware that the 
dangerous, ever changing sport was only won by pro-actively 
searching out your prey and destroying it, no matter the cost.   
  
  
*************  
  
  
  
Dana Scully's Apartment  
Saturday, April 24  
3:57 AM  
  

Out of a nightmareless and sound sleep he awoke on his couch to one 
thought and one name only.  'Scully.'   Her name wouldn't stop running 
through his mind over and over again until he had gotten dressed and 
driven the thirty or so minutes to her place.   

`Maybe I should apologize.  I've treated her like crap since we've been 
apart.'
  
Standing outside her apartment with his key inches from the door, he 
debated over whether or not to follow his instincts.  Pulling back his 
hand for the third time, he stared at the numbers on her apartment door.  
Thirty-five.  Two elegant, black painted numbers.  Some Roman type 
font he thought to himself.  How appropriate.

His instincts had never led him wrong before, well, almost never he 
corrected himself. 

Now or never.

He gently inserted the key and turned it until he felt the latch release.  
This was a step beyond all the personal boundaries they had ever set 
while being partners.  Forget professional.  Risking bodily harm as well 
as a bruised ego for this little stunt, Mulder couldn't stop himself.  
  
He slowly walked to her bedroom door and peeked in.  Under the 
covers, pulled up to her nose, he found the reason he had come.  A 
flickering light dancing along the walls revealed a small scented candle 
held by a smaller glass container making Mulder question how well he 
really knew the current resident.  Vanilla maybe. He stood in the 
doorway just watching, studying.

Turned towards her window and him, the covers came up to her nose.  
An almost imperceptible rise and fall of the comforter to her side 
calmed his nerves.  The flickering candle strobed a little more, mindful 
of the new currents of air swirling in the bedroom since he had cracked 
the door open.

A few articles of clothing were scattered along side her robe in the chair 
next to the window.  A pair of black, maybe navy blue, slacks along 
with a beige sweater.  A V-neck no less.  `Scully-wear' he humorously 
thought to himself.   The essence of her casual wear.  Was that a man's 
coat around the back of the chair?

The candle.

The coat.

The sweater.

Slacks?

`Oh...shit..... she's not alone....'

His heart caught in his throat for a second, he quickly looked back to 
the mass of covers and strained his neck to see if the massive comforter 
was hiding someone else.  Naturally he had assumed she was alone.  
  
Mortified to have snuck in on his partner while in bed with someone, he 
quickly decided he had indeed made a mistake.  

`Maybe in more ways than one,' he thought to himself painfully.

As he turned to leave he heard her rustling under the covers.  In a 
sleepy almost pathetic sounding voice,  "M-Mulder,  is that you?"  
 
"Oomph!  Yeah... it's me."    Feeling skittish at the sound of her voice, 
he tripped on her bureau.
 
He couldn't explain it away now as a dream, like he had planned, if later 
asked about his early morning stroll.  He walked slowly, almost 
tentatively over to her bed as she sat up, flipping on the light next to 
herself on the nightstand looking a little frightened.  

The light she awakened suddenly filled the room.  His eyes betrayed his 
better instincts and went directly over her figure to see who she was 
with.  
  
Nothing.

Empty.

Scully, alone in bed.  The waves of relief filling his mind, he forgot the 
hour, momentarily.

"What the hell is going on, Mulder?"

"S-sorry, didn't mean to scare you."  
  
Alarmed and slightly irritated, "What are you doing here?  What's 
wrong?"  
  
Shaking his head from side to side, slowly, "Nothing Scully.....nothing's 
wrong.... I uhh....just....."  She could barely make out his final words.  

"We caught a serial kidnapper who specialized in taking young 
girls........ anywhere from six to ten years old............. they were all 
dead."  
  
Scooting over towards the center of the bed, she patted the edge of the 
bed and silently motioned for him to sit down so she could look at him 
at somewhere close to eye-level.  Suspecting he had been battling 
another nightmare she studied his features looking for that haunted 
look that usually accompanied them.  It was there just like she 
suspected, although this time it was a little different looking.  

"Mulder, why do you do this to yourself?  Going after every missing 
child that fits the same profile as your sister's....."  
  
The last remark made Mulder jump, realizing she had recognized his 
recent choice of cases.  Continuing to shake his head, "I don't know...I 
know we're not partners anymore..."    
  
Sliding her hand out from under the covers, she found his.  Gently 
squeezing, "Mulder, we ARE partners.."

Unable to hold her gaze for too long, Mulder turned his head in an 
effort to steady himself.   The chair again.  Her clothes again.  Her 
sweater, her slacks and that navy blue blazer she like to wear on 
occasion. 

"Mulder.... are you sure you're okay?  It's not like you to sneak into my 
apartment and watch me sleep.... is it?"  She looked at him with a fear of 
this not being the first time.  

Allowing for a moment of levity, "I know I said anytime, anywhere, but 
this wasn't exactly what I had in mind," she said with a hint of teasing in 
her voice.  

"What's with the candle," Mulder asked, oblivious to her last words.

Shaking her head at his inane question.  "I was reading a book..... it 
helps me concentrate.... you know...... sets the mood."

On cue, Scully reached under the comforter and pulled out a thick 
hardcover book.  The clear plastic dustcover revealed its origin.  A 
library.  Scully at home on a Friday night, reading a book she checked 
out from the local library.  How very Scully.

"Lucky book," Mulder said without thinking.  
 
Scully looked at him curiously.  Her forehead scrunched up in an 
attempt to understand his strange remark.  "Really, Mulder.... what's 
this about?"

Their eyes catching hold, Mulder couldn't keep the look.
 
"I...uhhh.. guess this means we should give our keys back?"  Mulder 
said in a reproachful voice.  
  
Smiling gently at him, "No....I wouldn't say that.  That would mean I 
wouldn't be able to repay the favor of waking YOU up at four in the 
morning sometime."    
  
Feeling slightly better,  she always knew how to bring him back.   A few 
awkward seconds passed by.  

"I better be going."   He watched her slip back down onto the pillows 
while she studied him the whole time, like she would do one of her 
autopsy subjects.  

"Go back to sleep, Scully."  
  
He rose to his feet, flipped off the light and had just reached the door 
when he heard her again.  "Mulder?"  
  
This time he couldn't bear to look around.  In a voice that betrayed his 
calm exterior he was only able to mutter out, "I'm sorry, I just had to 
see you ......"   
  
Not being able to form the words that he had been wanting to say, 
Mulder slipped back into the night, beating himself up for waking Scully 
and firmly ingraining himself into his 'Spooky' nickname.  Finding his car 
had a remote amount of heat left in it, he replayed the last several 
minutes with Scully.  It was a totally irrational, he knew.  He   
only hoped Scully wouldn't be too freaked by it.     
  
Mulder pulled his car back onto the highway and journeyed south 
headed for home while thoughts of the past case flew through his mind.  
Trying to figure out why he was so driven to see her.  The sight of her 
had merely calmed him and his fears.   

`What was I afraid of,' he asked himself.    
	  

  
*************  
  
  
Awakening the next morning, Scully bolted up into a sitting position 
trying to recall the events of just a few hours before.  Seeing her 
bedroom door cracked open more than she usually left it, it all came 
back in a flash.  She had awoken in the middle of the night to a tall 
figure standing in her doorway.  

Instinctively, Scully would have reached for her gun if she hadn't 
instantly recognized the stature of Mulder peering into the bedroom. 
After that incredibly horrible disaster of a second date with Bill's friend 
Mike, the guy who wanted to be J. Edgar Jr.,  she almost thought it was 
him for a moment.   He had been so forward.  Too much, too soon.

Scully shivered at the memory of how his hand had crept higher up her 
thigh with no sign of stopping until she had punched him in the ribs. 

Bill's friend Mike Jarvis, who she used to call one of her own, had just 
moved into the area after leaving the Navy.   A long time friend of her 
brother's, she also held him in that same brotherly regard, making his 
actions revoltingly inappropriate and unwanted.
  
Her first thought was for Mulder, rather than herself.  He had never 
entered her apartment, let alone the bedroom in a non emergency 
situation without  knowledge or understanding.  Even though he said it 
was nothing, maybe it was more important than he led on.
  
As close as they had ever been, it was an incredibly intimate moment 
between the two former partners.  Intimate in a way that could only be 
understood by two that had shared so much. The urge to draw him into 
her bed and hold him for the remainder of the night was almost 
overwhelming.  She just knew it felt right, but it wouldn't help them.  
Not in the long run anyway.   

Not when things were so awkward between them.

Not with so much left unsaid.
    

When he left Scully's apartment, she could feel his burdens again 
on her shoulders and that was troublesome.   Not that she didn't want to 
help him, but the fact he seemed to depend on her much more than she 
felt she depended on him.   Since the separation at work, it was 
becoming harder to define what they needed and wanted from each 
other.  A feeling as though they were both addicts trying to wean 
themselves off the other,  putting on a valiant front to face their futures 
apart.  
  



  
[Fides Fragillis]  
  
  
Three weeks and the sporadic contact continued as usual.  The 
anomalous visit in the middle of the night wasn't spoken of, pushed 
from their minds as a personal favor that one had offered the other, 
unable to recognize it for what it was.  The cry for help, a cry for the 
friendship that Mulder felt slipping away.  

Drunk in his own retrospective the past few weeks in cases that were 
usually given to lesser agents, Mulder dove deeper into the work 
administering to his misplaced guilt and un-reconciled pain that festered 
at him a little more each day.  

The feelings swelling as events of the past months had literally taken 
away his search for justification of his failed actions.  Failure that would 
drive him to impossible pursuit in search of a shred of humanity lost, 
never dreaming or wanting to find it again so soon.  
  
  
  
Monday, May 12  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
11:07 AM  


Blowing a frustrated breath from his lungs, the ASAC Jeff Hastings 
assigned to Mulder looked around the bullpen of the Violent Crimes 
Section.  The water fountain to his right kicked on as he looked down at 
the vacant desk of the agent he wanted to see.

Raking his hand over a receding hairline, Hastings thought about 
calling down to the security desk to ask if the person he sought had 
come in for the day.
 
Rounding the corner on the fourth floor, he quickly checked the hair 
color of  the occupants of this particular hallway.  Finding the correct 
color and height of the person he was looking for, he found his steps 
leading to her increase in speed.  Catching up to her as she headed off 
down another hallway, he called for her.  
  
"Agent Scully?"  
  
Turning around to see ASAC Hastings calling her name she waited for 
him.  "Yes, sir?"  
  
"Hi,  I'm Agent Hastings."  He stuck his hand out and shook hers with 
confidence.  "I just wanted to meet you.  Agent Mulder and I work 
together from time to time and he's spoken of you highly."  
  
Politely smiling at the compliment, she nodded.  "Thank you.  Mulder 
was a good field agent to learn the ropes from."   

Detecting more than a simple meeting of colleagues, "What can I do for 
you Agent Hastings?"  
  
Approaching a subject that had in reality caused him to stop her in the 
first place, he treaded lightly.  "Agent Scully, I really wanted to talk to 
you about Agent Mulder and his...well.... I think he's been having 
problems."  
  
Having a strong suspicion she held off in deference.  "What kind of 
problems?"  
  
"Mulder, seems to be focusing only on missing children cases.  He's 
becoming obsessed with finding certain cases that fit....... well ... they fit 
a certain criteria, if you know what I mean."   Hastings offered her a 
knowing look.  
  
"I see.  What did you want to talk about?"  
  
"I was wondering if you could talk to him for me...... he doesn't seem to 
listen or want to listen to me anyway.  He respects you a great deal and 
I was just wondering..."  
  
Empathizing with his predicament, "I hate to tell you this, but I doubt I 
would be much help.  He didn't like listening to me either when we were 
partners."  
  
Surprised at this bit of knowledge, he had suspected Scully could get 
through to him with little or no problem.  She had spent all those years 
in the basement with him and didn't seem to have been corrupted.  

"Well, it was just an idea."   Hesitating to continue he did anyway.  "I'm 
just concerned for his well being."  
  
"Don't get me wrong, I'll have a talk with him if you want.....just don't 
expect any miracles."  
  
Pleased to hear her willingness to help, Hastings informed Scully that he 
had a scheduled meeting with Mulder this afternoon.  He would let her 
have the office to talk to Mulder alone.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
ASAC Hastings Office  
3:24 PM  
  
Approaching the office door of ASAC Hastings, Scully took in a deep 
breath.  Her time with Mulder had prepared her for the awareness that 
Mulder would not be too enthusiastic about Hastings or her concern.  
Mulder throwing himself into work to escape was a pattern that Scully 
was more than intimately familiar with herself.    
  
Opening the door confidently, she strode in.   "Hey, Mulder."  
  
Mulder looked up to see Scully.  "What's up Scully?  Hastings call 
you in too?"  
  
Puffing her lips and nodding slightly, "You could say that."  

A betrayal of emotion glimmered in her face that hinted at the concern 
he had seen from her on occasion, especially when she was worried for 
him.  
  
Mulder asked and answered his own question within the span of a few 
seconds after judging her response.  He hadn't grown insensitive to her 
demeanor after their time working together.    
  
After Mulder had turned his head in disgust after letting out a 
frustrating sigh, Scully started.  

"Mulder, Agent Hastings stopped me in the hall today."  She took in his 
disposition before continuing.  "He's concerned about your recent.... 
well.... your recent caseload."  
  
Unfazed at her words, he dryly responded.  "And?"   
  
Scully let out her own show of exasperation with this new and definitely 
not improved version of Mulder.  

"He thinks  that you're getting too deep.  He told me your last case 
almost ended in your censure and suspension from the Bureau because 
of your inability to distance yourself personally from the victims."  

"We've seen this before, haven't we Mulder?"
  
Mulder was amazed.  This approach from Scully was, at best, unsettling.  
She of all people had no basis for lecturing him on getting personally 
involved.   Slowly nodding in her direction, he stood up and started to 
exit the small office.  
  
"Mulder, wait...."  He was halfway to the door before she finally 
grabbed his arm.  

"Mulder, what's going on with you?  I mean..... first you show up at my 
apartment in the middle of the night..... then Hastings stops me in the 
hallway like that..."  
  
Without turning around, "Nothing Scully.  They're just not used to 
dealing with my style of investigative techniques.  They'll get over it."  
  
"Maybe they will, Mulder...... but will you?   I know what these cases 
do to you, but now.... I feel it's become your whole focus."  
  
"So what if it is, Scully!  It's better than tracking down killers!"  
  
Feeling his sense of loss surrounding the revelation of the truth of his 
sister, Scully ventured into delicate territory.  "So you're reliving 
Samantha's kidnapping all over again...... trying to make things right..... 
through other people this time?"  
  
Turning around in rage, "Listen, Scully.  You don't have to remind me 
of being an emotional cripple...... I'm the shrink remember?  I know 
what I'm doing, okay."  
  
Aggravated at his return,  "Mulder, you're not an emotional cripple.... 
it's just that this doesn't make sense.... we know what happened to 
Samantha and....."  
  
Before she could finish, "Just save it, Scully."

Lowering his voice,  "I saw how you looked at me all those times..... 
you know I've been walking that fine line for years now....  I can handle 
it...... with or without you."  
  
Stepping closer into his personal space, Scully also dropped her voice 
to accentuate her seriousness.  "Mulder, this isn't you.  Come on.  
What's wrong?"  
  
Staring down into her eyes he couldn't form the words.  

"Just leave it alone, Scully!"  He flew out the door without looking 
back, leaving Scully even more confused at his behavior since his late-
night visit.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
  
************  

  
Scully's Apartment  
Annapolis, Maryland  
9:35 PM  
  
  
The conversation with Mulder seemed as fresh in her mind now as it 
had the minute after Mulder had walked out the door.  It wasn't the first 
time he had walked out on her during an argument, but this one was 
slightly more aggravating.   

Willing to subject herself to more possible abuse, Scully wasn't about to 
let this discussion end like she normally did.  The tone in his voice as 
well as a haggard, unkempt appearance signaled a deeper problem than 
Mulder was obviously unwilling to disclose.   Her own mention of  past 
cases also bothered her.  Why had she felt the need to use that against 
him?  

It was beneath her. 
  
Picking up her phone, she dialed the number to his apartment hoping he 
was taking it easy for one night.    
  
After several rings, Scully heard the line pick up without a greeting.  No 
'hello,' no 'Mulder,' just dead air.  
  
"Mulder?  Are you there?  It's me.... Scully."  
  
Softly, "Yeah"  
  
"Are you okay?  Is everything all right?"  
  
A few seconds later than usual, "I'm fine......wh- what do you want?"  
  
Her voice catching as she took in his apathy, "I....I don't want anything, 
Mulder, except to know you're all right."  
  
Another few seconds of nothing.  "I'm as good as I'll ever be, I guess."  
  
Softly, "Mulder, I'm sorry I let Hastings use me like that, but he was... 
we are both concerned about you."  
  
Derisively, "Touching, Scully..... very touching."  
  
"Damnit, Mulder!  Why are you being like this?"  
  
Moving the phone to his other ear, "Don't you know?"  

A cold, almost evil sounding laughter filled her earpiece.    "Haven't you 
figured it out yet, Scully?"  
  
"What.... what are you talking about, Mulder?"  
  
Steeped in his own self pity and a fifth of tequila, "Everything I've 
done... everything WE worked for is gone....and so is Samantha....."  

Stunned into silence, after all they had seen and experienced, Scully was 
puzzled why this was finally surfacing, she had thought that was all in 
the past, wasn't it?  They had come so far, with so much.  

".... I never had a chance, did I...... all those years.?"

He never cried for his truth, not openly to Scully anyway.  Another 
burden to be suffered through alone as they had often done during their 
partnership.  A flash of a days in December some years ago flew 
through Scully's mind as quickly as it came.  

It seemed as the distance of time was put between him and his truth, all 
was well in his world.  As well as it could be, she thought.  

"And you think you're the only one who lost ......"  
  
"No... and you see...that's the problem, Scully.  My losses were 
acceptable...but yours....."  The unfinished thought hung heavy 
between the two on the line, knowing it referenced her and countless  
others.  
  
A distinct almost imperceptible slurring of his words told her that 
Mulder was drinking.  A father's habit that he had picked up in recent 
years. 

"So that's it?  You're going to mire yourself in pity and despair..... 
wanting...what?  Where will this get you?"  
  
"Hoping to make sense of who I am.... hoping to make right for 
someone.... anyone... that had to go through what I did..."  
  
Sarcastically, "Well.... at least you have a plan."  
  
Returning her tone, "Yep.  I've always been good at cooking up 
schemes don't you think?  Got to be prepared now don't we, Agent 
Scully?"  
  
Seeking the seriousness they just abandoned, "Why are you so..... 
lost.... why now, your dedication to ..."  
  
Mocking her words, "My dedication?  To what?  My dedication to 
wasting my life?  Searching for the impossible?"  
  
"No, not the Mulder I knew.  The Mulder I know wouldn't lock himself 
up in his apartment searching for his answers with a bottle!"

Trying to relax before she said something she didn't mean,  "You know?  
Just because you don't have the X-files doesn't mean that your life is 
over."     
  
"It might as well be..."

"Mulder, I know how......."  

Before she had could finish, she could hear him continuing as if she 
hadn't said a word.

"........ and as for the Mulder you knew...thought you knew.... it's pretty 
clear to me you didn't know the half of who he was or what he wanted 
to be."  
  
"What the hell does that mean?"  

Unsure if they were now talking about the same things she was startled 
at the direction this topic had taken.  Scully started to continue when a 
loud slam of the phone from the other end pierced her ear.  
  
The X-files were gone and now his energies were being directed into 
whatever he could find.  Cling to.  She wasn't sure what to do.  Go over 
there and make sure he doesn't drink himself to death?  That's what he 
wanted her to do, right?  No, she would let him solve it on his own.  

This torture he was putting himself through was of his own making.  
Getting angry at him for not allowing her to care, to be rebuffed as she 
had been, didn't win him any sympathy points.  
  

**************  
  
  
Journal: FWM  
	  
I am nothing but a lie.  That's the beauty of my existence.  A lie 
created to fulfill other lies.  I know this now since I found my truth.  A 
truth that had I known..... well, the masochist in me tells me I would 
want it anyway.  I was created to manufacture the lies that those men 
needed for their purposes while at the same time a hopeful savior to my 
father who hoped I could do what he couldn't..  From the  abduction of 
my sister, who I'll never know if she was truly my sister, to the man that 
I was molded into by persons of such depravity for human life, as long 
as it wasn't their own. I was the biggest hoax of all, until the X-files.  

As much as they were used to perpetuate their lies, it also ironically   
became my biggest weapon.... their greatest threat.  Now, without the 
X-files, I don't know what to do or think.  For so long they were my 
salvation, my wellspring of hope.  Even after learning of the betrayals of 
those around me, I had them to go back to.  They were the tool of my 
trade which I used to craft my burning desire to know the truth.  And 
though I've never consciously discussed my sad tale with anyone, 
what reality I've been trying to find after they have been permanently 
taken from me is slowly and surely slipping through my fingers.  
  
Today I severed yet another piece of myself from reality.  I know why 
Jeff is concerned for me and no, I'm not surprised to see he went to 
Scully to try and get some answers.   I only wish he hadn't.  I know I'm 
falling down the black hole of despair.  I pity myself and have no 
remorse for it.  I seek this depression willingly because for so many   
years it's the only thing I've ever had that I could truly call my own.  It is 
what I am most comfortable with.  Not that feeling sorry for myself will 
help me, I know it is the path I must take if I am ever to see my way to 
the end of it.     

Like always, Scully was there in the cross-hairs.  I turned my 
rage for others .... for myself onto her again.  Maybe this would be 
different if the X-files were still here and Scully was my partner,  but I 
know that's not true.  How many times did I shut her out when we were 
together?  How many times did we shut each other out.... too scared to 
face our fears..... 

As Scully and I slip farther apart from each other professionally, my 
hopes of any kind of relationship with her personally are soon on its tail.  
I see her, but I can't see past her.  Every time it's her eyes,  her voice .... 
pulling me back into the world I can't go back to that is my life.... was 
my life......for so long.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Tensions between the two ex-partners steadily heightened.  Tension 
born of the uneasiness in how to handle their new roles at work. 
Tensions born of the undefined roles with each other. Awkwardness 
soon became the rule of thumb for encounters. With no map or sense of 
direction, they soon found themselves adrift.  Somewhere in the middle 
of their game, someone changed the rules and they didn't know how to 
play.  
  
The few conversations they had were increasingly clumsy. 
Uncomfortable in the extreme.  Unable to call each other, out of excuse 
for a case they were on and after the results of  their last phone 
conversation, the connection deteriorated.  The thought crossed both 
of their minds that maybe their relationship at its heart had been based 
on work.  A shared passion between them that made them believe there 
was more to it than that.  

This theory was soon gaining credibility with every strained 
conversation, look, or chance meeting, but sub-consciously they knew 
it ran much deeper.  It was a beautiful lie that the mind could invent.  A 
safeguard to the troublesome prospects of dealing with each other on a 
personal basis.  Keeping each other at arms-length, unable to cause the 
harm the other seemingly wanted to inflict.  
  
Scully had never depended on relationships before to fulfill her life, so 
she did not have many close friends.  She knew a lot of people, but she 
could only keep a few close mostly because of her dedication to her 
career.  Some of her friends were put off by her working for the FBI, 
some were put off by her inability to keep in constant if not consistent   
contact.  She loved her work. Was that a crime? When most people 
were throwing a few back, she would read her medical journals, work 
on monographs for the forensic community, and whatever kept her 
busy.   
  
Mulder was of course in the same boat, if not worse.  Other than the 
Gunmen, he had virtually no friends.  His quest over the years had 
reaped a toll on his personal relationships that was of titanic 
proportions.  He spent most of his free time reading up on case files, 
reports of paranormal activity, or other "interesting" subjects that only   
someone like Fox Mulder might notice as "interesting."  
  
Ignoring their feelings had always been hard, but ignoring each other 
completely began to take a toll.   They had not spoken in weeks.  
  
  
*************  
  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
May 30  
9:57 AM  
  
  
The weeks came and departed as one would avoid the other.  Words 
spoken in the heat of  battle trying to make the other see the way to a 
future that was becoming unwound by the day.  Falling into the now 
regular pattern of evasion from each other, Mulder and Scully   
drew upon a reservoir of untapped strength to keep a distance, afraid 
the next meeting  would be worse than the one before.  Working on a 
new case that had come his way didn't help their cause.  
  
Catching her out of the corner of her eye Mulder stopped Scully in the 
hallway lobby in front of the elevators.  He was tired, even a little edgy.  
Hastings refused to put him on anymore kidnapping cases and sent him 
back to what he was once best known for.  Profiling was taking him 
back into a world that he dared to enter.  Vicious crimes to people had a 
way of de-sensitizing a person to the point of corrupting everyday 
thoughts and meanings.  
  
"Hey Scully, wait up....I need your autopsy results from the Chanson 
murder if you get around to it."  
  
Scully, suffering from autopsy-overload, snapped  "Get around to it?   
What the hell does that mean?"  She was bitter, cold.  
  
"It means I need them, and what's with the attitude?"      
  
"Attitude?"  Releasing a groan she continued, " Mulder, I don't have 
time for this right now."  
  
In a mumbled voice, "You mean you don't have time for this... or you 
don't have time for me?"  
  
Unsure she had just heard what she thought she heard, "What the hell 
do you mean by that..........damnit, Mulder!"  Sighing in frustration, she 
turned in the other direction to retreat thoroughly enraged.  
  
Confused, he stormed off after her to confront this side of Scully that he 
had rarely seen.  Catching up to her in five large strides, he pulled her 
around by the shoulder, "What was that about?"  
  
"Use that highly analytical mind of yours and take a guess!" Scully 
flinched away from his touch and angrily bolted, not saying another 
word.  
  
"And what did I do?"

Obviously, the recessive male gene for stupid questions had taken over 
this day.  As she glared back at his incredible words, she spat out the 
only thing that came to her mind as sarcastically as possible.  

"Nothing, Mulder...... leave it alone."  His own words flung back at him, 
he turned and walked away.  
 

*************
 
  
Journal:  DKS  
  
Asshole!  No, I'm sure I could do much better and the fact I know that 
is enough.   The incredible depths of which I am frustrated amazes even 
me.  He had the audacity to ask me what was with my attitude after the 
way he's treated me?  That should be an X- file in and of itself.  

Not only did the end of our partnership signal the end of our 
professional relationship it has seemingly doomed our private one as 
well.  The most disturbing thing about all of this is  I don't want to think 
of him anymore.  The thoughts of him are unpleasant and tiresome.  For 
that fact alone I hate myself for wanting to hate him. I want this to be 
over..... I just want him gone from my present so I can look fondly 
on our past.  

We've only begun and it's all falling apart.  Lately, I'm just 
so tired of it all.  Tired of the confrontations, the way we look at each 
other.  It's as if we can't stop ourselves.  One blaming the other for 
upsetting the apple cart that had become our lives, in a harmony that 
was beginning to yield itself back into the realm of greater things for 
us.  
  


  
*************  
  
  

  
Scully began to travel more and was assigned a partner as her case 
load was now gaining momentum.  Out of desire to bury herself in her 
work, or to escape her life altogether, she was not sure.  The new 
partner was an expert in forensics as well as bright, young and fresh out 
of the academy.  

Special Agent Larry Holland was also handsome.  This was also a fact  
not lost on fellow agents nor the rest of the females at the Hoover 
building.  Approximately six foot three and blue-eyed with his sun-faded 
red hair that screamed of Southern California heritage.    A degree from 
USC in Criminal Justice along with a residency at UCLA in Forensic 
Sciences, garnered him 'golden boy' status for more than the obvious 
reasons.    
  
Mulder's time was spent mostly on profiling and lecturing, visiting law-
enforcement agencies that came from around the country to learn from 
the nation's best.  The lack of field agents made it imperative to local 
police departments to depend more on themselves for violent offenders.  
This also took Mulder away from cases and ironically had him at 
Quantico quite often due to the facilities they could offer.   Another 
obvious attempt by Hastings to keep him on the level. 
  
Seeing Scully in the hallway talking to her new partner did not make 
things easy.  She would look up at him, and talk in that confident voice 
that was once reserved for him. They made an impression on a lot of 
people.  The closeness they once shared was now found with a new 
partner and a new life.  
  
Scully was on the fast track.  Her new partner was quick minded, smart 
and able to make leaps into logic, but still a little green.  Through silent 
agreement Mulder and Scully co-existed within the same department.  
Leaving behind years of feelings, they disregarded each other for the 
most part.  Staying out of the other's way, not wanting to upset the   
tenuous balance that now existed between them.  
  

*************

Alexandria, Virginia
2640 Hegal Place
Saturday, June 22
11:42 PM


Summer arrived in the quiet suburb of Washington to intense days of 
heat and warm muggy nights.  Walking the last few blocks to his 
apartment building, Mulder reflected on his day.  His day off.  A 
Saturday.  A long boring, nothing to do filled day.  With his jacket 
slung over his shoulder, his mind was full of warring voices.

Thinking back, he would never quite get used to having all his 
weekends off.  Work wasn't demanding and it was easy to keep his 
duties confined to the forty hour work week that was required.  Strange 
he thought.  Now that the Bureau was strapped for finances, due to the 
scandal, he had thought his free time would be precious.  It didn't seem 
to be the case, though.  Typically backwards, typically federal 
government.

Amused at his own parallel, the thought of how Scully and him had 
prescribed to a similar formula also came to him uninvited.  Now that 
they could pursue any relationship they wanted they couldn't stand to 
be in the same room with each other.

Coming back from his local watering hole, Mulder was unaware of his 
surroundings.  Having drunk his fair share of alcohol, he saw the steps 
to his building just a few dozen yards ahead.  

`Oh, man.  I should really tell Terry to cut me off sooner.'

BANG

Looking over his shoulder to see the car that had just backfired, he 
involuntarily fell to his knees.  Unable to keep his balance, the same 
force that knocked his legs from under him drew his face towards the 
cement sidewalk faster than he could stop it.  

Falling into the blackness of an unconscious state, the last thing 
Mulder heard was his attacker.  

"You sorry son of a bitch."

The sight of his victim's blood pooling around his body, the assailant 
ran off into the night. 


  
*************  

  
Annapolis, Maryland  
Scully's Apartment  
Sunday, June 23,   
2:31 AM  
  
  
A ringing in the distant reminded Scully of simpler days.  Hearing a bell 
she was thrown  back to a time where classmates scurried around her, 
heading for the exits to go home.  Another image flashed before her 
eyes of an alarm that bore the remnants of a time when she was missing.  
Flipping through the memories of her mind, another ring was that   
of the phone on Fox Mulder's desk.  One in which she had answered 
many times.  It was this thought that physically jarred her awake to 
discover her own phone trilling in the dead of night.  
  
"H-Hello?"  Rolling over to check the time, she had only one thought.  
'Mulder.'  
  
For once, her pseudo-psychic abilities were dead on.  
  
"Dr. Scully?"  
  
"Yes, hello?"  
  
"Is this Dr. Dana Scully?"  
  
Slightly annoyed at the repeated question.  "Yes it is, may I help you?"  
  
"Dr. Scully, my name is Dr. Harrison from Alexandria Memorial.  Do 
you know a Fox Mulder?"  
  
Sighing at the implications.  "Yes I do.  What's happened?"  
  
"Fortunately, nothing too bad.  Your partner was shot in the lower 
femur region of his left leg.  It was only a flesh wound.  He listed you  
as his next of kin in case of emergencies, we were instructed that you 
were to be notified."  
  
Sitting up in bed, emotions started to run over her mind.  Relief. Anger. 
Exasperation.  Frustration.  'Damnit, when will he ever learn,' she 
thought.  
  
"Dr. Harrison,  I'll be there in an hour."  Without listening to his reply, 
she slammed the phone down.  Hastily getting dressed and brushing 
through her hair, she didn't care much how she looked.    
  

*************

  
Alexandria Memorial Hospital  
3:37 AM  
  
The drive down to Alexandria served to bring her to a slow boil.  'This 
is it. I'm not his mother.  I'm not even his partner anymore.  How dare 
he call me after what he's ......he runs off doing God-knows-what and 
expects me to pick up the pieces again.'  By the time she arrived, 
Scully's fury was reaching a new all-time high.  
  
She arrived at the Emergency Room to find Mulder had been moved to 
the recovery room around midnight and had been moved to a private 
room in the past half-hour.  Upon arriving at his room, she stopped 
outside to read his chart.  It was a slight wound, nothing too bad.  The 
entrance wound was small, she guessed it was probably a .22 caliber if 
the descriptions of the recovered slug were correct.  
  
Stepping inside, she recognized the sound of a heart monitor as well as 
the man resting quietly.  Her disposition changed very little upon the 
sight of Fox Mulder resting peacefully.  Something she was supposed 
to be doing right at this moment herself.  
  
Walking to the side of his bed, she felt his forehead with the back of her 
hand.  'No fever.' She said to herself.  'Good sign there won't be an 
infection.'  
  
'Sorrysonofabitch Sorrysonofabitch Sorrysonofabitch Sorrysonofabitch  
Sorrysonofabitch Sorrysonofabitch Sorrysonofabitch' was all that ran 
through Mulder's mind.  He kept hearing it over and over like a mantra.  
He knew who had said it, but it wasn't his voice.  It was the voice of 
someone he had never heard saying it over and over again.  
  
Mulder started to wake from his drug induced slumber.  Turning his 
head towards the sensation on his right, he saw Scully standing there 
with a blank expression on her face.  One he hadn't seen, nor did he ever 
know existed.  
  
"H-Hey...."  Mulder managed to force out.  "Someone really wants me 
to have that peg-leg, huh?"  
  
Without returning the greeting, Scully started to fill him in his situation.  
"You were shot through the lower left femur.  This time the damage 
wasn't as bad."  Her tone was beyond irritable.  "You'll live."  
  
Put off at her unusually brusque bedside manner, "Nice to see you too, 
Scully."    

"What are you doing here?"  
  
Remaining quiet for a minute to compose her raw emotions, she stared 
at him unfeeling.  "Hmm... what am I doing here, Mulder?  I was called 
out of a sound sleep to come rescue my 'partner' again after some 
foolish excursion for God-knows-what."  
  
"Scully I didn't....'  
  
Scully didn't allow him the opportunity to finish.  Almost yelling to him, 
her raised voice was surely going to garner her some attention from the 
nurses down the hall. "What was it this time, Mulder?  Another UFO 
buzzing the White House?  A secret stash of alien bodies in a desert 
somewhere....."  She bit her words off sharply.  

"When  the HELL will you learn, Mulder?"
  
Unable to process his own thoughts, he felt his own anger inflamed at 
the insinuations being launched at him without mercy.  
  
"LET'S get one thing straight here, Mulder. While we were 'partners,'" 
she said with a certain amount of repulsion, "it was my job to cover 
your ass......."   

After a moment, "This is it, Mulder.  I'm not your mother, your sister 
and god-damnit I am not your wife...... you just can't call me up and 
expect good `ol Scully to bail you out anymore after you go off on 
these foolish excursions!  If you gave a damn about me, you might 
consider letting me in on these little side projects of yours..."  
  
Letting her words sink in for a minute they stared at one another.  
Dazed at the colossal anger gushing from Scully; he half-heartedly 
thought about making a crack to her about where the real Dana Scully 
was at and who was this clone.
  
Instead, he only saw his former partner.  

His former colleague.

For all intents and purposes, his former life. 

Scully's steel blue eyes burned hot and white.  A blazing torch that was 
fueled by years of frustrations she had long buried and tried to forget.  
Only to be summoned up from the darkest corners of a tortured soul, 
unleashing itself on the closest bystander.  

The closest one to the pain.

Mulder.

He answered her, completely disillusioned by her allegations.  

"Scully....... I didn't call you.  I wasn't off on some wild goose chase, 
either.   Someone pulled a gun on me outside of my apartment........ I 
guess someone thought I was easy target.  All right?  Feel better?"  

The unexpected walking nightmare fell to her feet.  This version of 
events, including his sincerity, jolted her sensibilities as if someone had 
punched her in the stomach.  The mere thought of her own words and 
accusations was paralyzing.  It was nothing like she had suspected at all.  
Jumping to conclusions was usually reserved for Mulder, but Scully had 
jumped in head first on this one.  
  
Thinking back, Mulder figured he knew how and why she had been 
called.  "The nurses must have seen your....."  Shifting up in bed to look 
around he grimaced.  He lunged over to the table by his bed, shoving 
her helpful hand out of the way, where his wallet, stripped of any cash 
and credit cards lay.  

Pushing it to the side he reached for his credentials that sat in the 
drawer.  Pulling out the flap behind his shield, he fingered behind the 
identification card and pulled out the source of his irritation.    
  
Taking a look to see if it was the right one he ripped it from the 
compartment and flung it at her.  "There.....it won't happen again.  I 
promise."  
  
She bent down to pick up the object he had so disdainfully thrown at 
her.  She saw that it was one of her business cards with instructions on 
the back in case of emergencies, worn and tattered after obviously 
spending many years tucked safely behind his badge.  

The conversation she had with Mulder from the early days in their 
partnership, when he was more inclined to ditch her, came rushing back.  
Remembering giving him this very card to keep on him in case he were 
ever lost or in trouble, she never imagined to have it used this way.
  
Coming closer to the side of his bed she started to apologize.  
"I'm.....I'm sorry, Mulder.   I didn't.... I don't know what to....."  
  
Closing his eyes he took in as deep a breath as he could.  "I'll also be 
sure to update the personnel records at the Bureau as soon as I get 
back...... I wouldn't want anyone else to make the mistake."

"Mulder, you don't have........"

"Listen, Scully.  I can see how much you hate me.........it's written all 
over your face."  Shaking his own head, "Just get out of here...."
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"JUST GET OUT OF HERE!"  
  
Never in all their days could she ever remember a tone of voice so 
strong and angry at her.  

In a broken voice, "Mulder?"  
  
"NO, SCULLY!     You're right....you're not my partner....you're not 
my wife....and ...please... just ......just leave me alone."  
  
Mulder turned his head away from her looking away to cover the 
anguish which washed over him at that moment.  

Scully could see his face in the window beside his bed.  He was 
crushed.  Destroyed.  She had taken their trust, their loyalty and thrown 
it out that same window into oblivion. 

She turned and walked out the door.  The only noise he heard was that 
of her footsteps increasing in their pace as she walked slowly from his 
room.  
  

************  

Annapolis, Maryland
4:31 AM  
  
  
Coming home that early Sunday morning was more difficult than leaving 
his room.  She did so because he had asked her too, but back in her 
apartment she would find its lonely existence too reflective to put the 
events of the last few hours out of her mind.  Searching her memory, 
she diligently tried to replay the events of the encounter.

`For God's sake, Dana...... he was shot....even if he had been out on 
some fools errand, I've never treated him that way before.   I can't 
believe that was me in there.  What's happening to us?'   

Deluding herself in guilt was often a way to explain the intricacies of 
their relationship, but now she felt a difference.  It was a combined 
effort she realized, one that was leading to a disastrous end if they didn't 
find a way to remain friends much less colleagues.  
  
However, it was also clear that maybe it was time to step back.  Take a 
long hard look at her relationship to her former partner and what place 
he now held in her life if he held one at all.  Agonizing over the 
possibilities, she wrestled with ideas on how they could see their way 
out of something so deep she was afraid to look back in fear of falling.  
  
Arriving at a difficult decision, she decided that the mere act she was 
proposing would draw a line that could possibly forfeit her and Mulder 
any chance of remaining friends or in the end it might save a future.  
  
  
  
  
*************  
  
  
  
Time in the hospital was never a favorite pastime of Mulder's.  No 
matter why he was there it was never for a good reason.  His stays were 
too frequent and Scully's were always too depressing for him to want to 
remember.  The most depressing part was the quiet.  Sure, he could hear 
beeps and noise from the hallway where other nurses and patients went 
about the business of getting well, but it forced his overactive mind to 
idle.   TV was rarely a help, and the reading material for the day was 
usually finished by breakfast.  
  
The rest of the day was spent thinking.  Sitting and thinking.  In the 
past he could have called Scully and gotten her to bring him some case 
files to read through or for that matter just pass some time talking to 
her.  The past few months, he realized, were more difficult than he 
imagined.  
  
Thinking back, he imagined that he and Scully could ease into a 
casual friendship,  go to dinner once in a while, maybe even work 
together on a case now and again, some kind of future together.  They 
were friends, weren't they?      
  
Now it seemed impossible to keep a conversation lately, let alone start 
one without it developing into a shouting match.  Rewinding through 
the years he did some serious soul searching about himself, who he had 
been, what he had become and of course how Scully fit into this picture.  
Through it all, the good and the bad, she had remained his one   
constant.   His mind went blank as he searched for the answer on how 
to fix their problems.  He wondered if their history was capable of such.
  
The images flashed through his mind in a horrifying manner.  Her 
abduction, her cancer, Emily..... Antarctica.  They replayed over and 
over in his mind painting a picture of despair and anguish no one could 
ever have deserved.  Thinking back to some of the earlier days in the 
partnership he remembered the good times as well.  
  
At the end of each day before he drifted off into a drugged induced 
sleep the answer would come.  What he needed, what she obviously 
wanted.  Some time to distance themselves from a relationship that had 
taken its toll on them mentally if not literally.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Journal:  FWM  
  
I saw it.  I saw it clearly before me.  The disgust in Scully's eyes 
at me laying in the hospital bed.  I have no clear memories of that night 
or what happened to me.  Only brief flashes of a guy, a gun and the 
searing pain in my leg.  

I do, however, remember seeing the look in her eye that early 
morning.  Rushing into a conclusion, assuming the worst.  I saw years 
of frustration, every painful moment, all the losses she endured.  That's 
why I looked away.  I couldn't bear to see what I had done to her.  
Taken from her.  The fact that I considered telling the EMT's to call her 
makes me feel worse.  She was the only one I could think of to call 
when asked.  I was too embarrassed to say,  `Yes, I'm over forty years 
old, I live alone, I have no friends and everyone at work hates me.'  But 
I did anyway.  I honestly forgot about her card in my credentials.  I 
never even thought anyone would look.

As I lay in the hospital bed, I faced that truth.  I am over forty, I do live 
alone and I have few friends.  I know I pushed her away that night, 
when I could have drawn her closer, but again my foolish pride got in 
the way.  Rather ironic, huh?  My pride wanted her there, and my pride 
pushed her away.   We've always been good at doing that.  Not being 
able to say what we want to, what we need to.  That's yet another way 
we are alike when everything about us seems so different.  

Still, I made the decision tonight.  We are systematically destroying each 
other and what we had..... have  I can't allow it anymore.  For once in 
my life I won't allow myself to obliterate the one good thing that ever 
happened to me.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
A week after returning home from his short hospital stay, under his 
apartment door, Mulder found a blank envelope with no writing on it.   
Inside he opened the envelope.  Out fell a key.  His extra apartment key 
that proudly displayed 'MULDER' in her elegant, block style 
handwriting.  He sunk to the couch, with his head in his hands tragically 
replaying the events of the last few months, knowing that his partner 
had come to the same conclusion as himself.  
  
  
***********  
  
  
Saturday, July 6  
Annapolis, Maryland  
7:12 PM  
  
  
Mulder sat in his car, parked in front of Scully's building.  Still not fully 
recovered, he had managed to pull a pair of jeans on over his bandage.  
A slight mist fell from the sky on this warm summer evening with 
darkened clouds rolling slowly in. Mulder turned the engine off and 
pulled the key from the ignition.  The drizzle seemed to pick up at that   
moment marking the desired time to exit the car.  Running up the 
walkway, as best he could, he found his way through the outer door 
and his gray T-shirt splotched with larger water marks from the 
inconsistent early evening showers that were indigenous to this   
part of the country.    
  
Since finding the key under his door, there had been no contact.  The 
rules set, the unspoken boundaries defined.  A hospital room in 
Alexandria turned out to be the site for ground zero in a slowly 
decaying relationship that knew no bounds itself.   

As he took the extra key marked 'SCULLY' off his key ring, he 
wondered if he should at least write her a note.   Remembering that day 
back in 1993.  It must have been about May.  He had to inadvertently 
kick-in her door one night to rescue her from a mutant who still gave 
him the shivers.  Mulder felt a smile tug at his lips as he remembered it 
was Scully who saved herself that night.    They both exchanged their 
extra keys in a mutual sign of the trust with which they had cultivated 
and the fact Mulder couldn't afford to keep breaking down doors.  
  
As he fingered the small, silver object, trying to remember the first time 
he had used it and clearly recalling the last.  After placing it in a small 
manila envelope he decided that he would leave it in her mailbox.  No 
name, no words ......just a key.  A small key that was just a little more 
symbolic than it appeared to be, was slid through the small opening   
that protected her mail box.  
  
Walking away from the wall, he heard a lock unlatch and a door open 
behind him from one of the apartments.  Mulder dared not to look back 
until he had heard his name pour from her lips to his ears.  "Mulder?"  
  
Sticking his hands into his front, jeans pockets, Mulder slowly turned to 
face her not willing to close the distance of thirty feet between them.  "I 
uhh... I was just returning your key.... it's in your box."  
  
Scully stood there in her khaki overcoat she usually saved for rainy 
occasions.  Obviously on her way out the door, the air grew suddenly 
tense.  

"You okay? How's your leg?"    
  
"Fine.....thanks."  Feeling a bit unsteady, he had hoped to drop off the 
key and leave without being detected.  

"Look, I didn't want to disturb you..."

Her eyes wide, she was surprised to see him there in her hallway.  "It's 
no bother..."

"I better be going."  He mumbled out. 
  
"Wait, Mulder.... I...."  
  
Exhaling all the air from his lungs, Mulder set about releasing her for 
good.  She wasn't happy with her life. She hadn't been happy in a long 
time and the only thing that he could find in common with her 
unhappiness was himself.   

With determination and a confident, yet gentile voice Mulder sought to 
make right what had been wrong between them for so long.
  
"Look, Scully... we're tearing  each other apart....I don't know why, but 
we are......maybe we just need some time...maybe...I don't know 
anymore."  
   
The stillness in the air could have literally taken the breath away from 
them both.  More than anything, Scully wanted to find a way to ease his 
conscience ... ease her's as well.  The events in the preceding years had 
long built up on both of them.  Lost loved ones, lost chances and lost 
time meant that history was finally catching up with them.  A history so 
deep,  it was impossible to see their way past it. 

"There is so much we need to sort out, Scully.  We've been through a 
lot over the past few years.......I think.... I think it's time we should go 
our separate ways......."  
  
Feeling his words rather than hearing them, she knew deep down the 
time had come.  During her days when she was fighting cancer and her 
own mortality, it dawned on her that one day whether by death or other 
means, her time with Mulder would come to an end.  The only thing 
you're guaranteed at your birth is your death.  There was so much to 
say and so little courage to say it with.   
  
"Do this for yourself, Scully.........not for me......but for yourself..... I 
won't bother you anymore..."  
  
Scully walked to Mulder and looked up into his eyes, returning her 
own mirror image. Both sets, swimming in the pain that was about to 
come, hoping it was for the best.  Hoping that maybe one day, this and 
all the pain they carried with them would all be gone.   

Unable to look at her anymore, Mulder dipped his eyes, trying not to 
recognize this moment for what it was. Avoiding the issue had slowly 
eaten away at the vestiges of hope they had clung to so dearly.  
However, today they had come to an end.  Maybe not the end, but it 
was an end of a chapter in both of their lives.  Soon, the pages would 
turn and the words would fall off as a new chapter would start for them 
both.  
  
Looking back at her, Mulder tentatively caressed her cheek. 
"Scully....take care of yourself."  
  
"I will."  Through a half smile, Scully grabbed his hand as it touched her 
face and returned his words through a gentle squeeze.  Slowly, she 
stepped forward and grabbed him tightly around his waist, gently 
resting her head on his left shoulder. Staring off into the distance, 
hesitantly, he drew his own arms around Scully's shoulders and 
returned the embrace. The soft light from her apartment emanating in a 
hazardous glow cast a long shadow on this semi-darkened hallway.

Awkwardly, Mulder broke the embrace prematurely.  Shaking his head, 
"I can't hold anymore... I dare to touch you, afraid that if I do....... I'll 
never let go.....and right now .........we don't need that."  
  
Understanding him better than she gave herself credit for, she stepped 
back also.  "Mulder. .......  I'll still see you around, won't I?"  
  
"Scully, I just want you to be........"  Unable to finish his own words he 
closed his eyes and smiled sadly, forcing the emotions back down.  "I'll 
always be a phone call away......anytime....anywhere."  
  
Mulder turned and walked out of her life hoping that time was the only 
thing left that would be able to heal wounds that had never been able 
to.  

How the hallways had become a symbol for them was tragic, if not 
comical.  Their most important conversations had taken place in 
hallways like two pedestrians passing by on their way to different 
destinations.
  
  
*************  
  
  
Journal:  DKS  
  
I have written thousands of words to you, Journal.  Over the years 
whether it be in handwriting or electronically through a computer 
I have written to you pouring out the essence that has become me and 
my life.  Sometimes not knowing why, but always resolute in the fact 
that purging my thoughts would help me analyze my state of mind,   
providing a clearer path on which I might follow.  

For the first time I can remember, I write to you numb.  Carefree of any 
analysis, only writing to purge my being of Fox Mulder knowing full 
well, I can never do that, even if I really desired to.    

Through some cosmic force I'm sure he would call fate, we both knew.   
We both knew that we needed time away from each other and bless him 
one last time for recognizing that just as I had.  Maybe we had gotten 
too close.  Maybe this was unavoidable, I don't know.   We are so 
different in many ways and so fundamentally the same in others. I don't 
know if we will ever be able to put this past us, but I know for certain, I 
will never forget him.  
  
  
  
  
[Held]  
  
  
Five months later.....  
  
  
Folger Park  
Washington, D.C.  
December 21   
5:32 PM  
  
The Capitol Dome reflecting its complex beauty against the backdrop 
of the sky as its lady atop reached towards the heavens in search of 
freedom set the perfect atmosphere for the meeting of two old friends.   
Sitting back on the bench, the one that had been used time and time 
again when they wanted to meet without fear of reproach from the   
other, the man took out his leather cigar case and plucked a Cohiba 
from its temporary resting place before meeting its owner's lips.  
  
He hadn't been smoking them long, but after a friend had turned him on 
to them he had soon found himself going for the best.  A genuine 
Cohiba from Cuba was still illegal in the United States, making this a 
pleasure to smoke in the close proximity of the very men, like himself, 
who had deemed it so.   Finding his cigar-snipper, he gently took the tip 
off and rolled it back over his full bottom lip sealing the loose ends from 
the all leaf wrapper back to the opening.    
  
The best part was now at hand.  Lighting it for the first time, he enjoyed 
the aromatic onslaught from the aged tobacco as it passed through the 
cigar for the first time.  Making sure not to inhale, he savored the 
darkened flavor while releasing the smoke from his mouth.   
  
Relaxing to his own pleasure, it was not long after that the person he 
was waiting for walked slowly down the path towards him, in no 
particular hurry or dread of this meeting.   
  
Without a word the smaller figure joined the man on the bench.    
  
"It's a lovely evening."  
  
"Yes, it is.  We might get some snow this week."  
  
Waiting for the right moment, they both watched as a familiar looking 
helicopter in the distance flying north towards some unknown 
destination in the Maryland countryside.    
  
"Must be nice to have your own transportation like that."  
  
"I would imagine so."  
  
Another moment or two of reflection while a cold breeze swept by.  
  
"Spring should be nice.  The flowers here will be in full bloom in no 
time."  
  
"Yes,  hopefully spring will bring a new season to this town."  
  
A young couple on their way to some Christmas event passed before 
them lost in their own world unaware of the tension surrounding the 
two on the bench.  
  
"Have you found someone?"  
  
A few more people walked by before the smaller figure had a chance to 
answer.  
  
"Yes, he's perfect."  
  
"Does he have the right ......background?"  
  
"One that will work very well for our purposes."

Looking back to her, "A regular Romeo and Juliet, hmm?"

"You could say that, but Romeo is the only one getting burned this 
time."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
  
Monday, December 21  
Journal:  DKS  

  
It's been nine months since I went to VCS and I don't even recognize 
myself, my own life.  I went out with Gerold again tonight and 
tomorrow we're going to a Christmas party with some of his friends..  
We have fun and he seems to understand my busy schedule. We like 
each other's company, enjoy the 'no-strings attached' setup.  Even 
though he hasn't pressured me for more, I feel like we could be more.  
Maybe I should take the initiative.
  
In passing, I told him of my past with Mulder.  No details, just the bare 
facts.  What did I say?  Something about an all encompassing 
relationship that was too steeped in history to pave a future.  He didn't 
press me though, he knows I'm using him to some degree and he is 
willing to be there, I just hope he wants as much as I do.
	  
Work is going nicely.  Larry is becoming a very competent investigator, 
but sometimes I feel he holds us back.  I never realized how much 
investigating and deciphering the evidence are so different.  Mulder 
taught me well, better than I had imagined and I know he would be 
proud if he could hear some of my theories sometimes.  I almost feel 
obligated to throw out a 'spooky' one now and again just for old times 
sake.  It seems to put a different angle on a case and helps us approach 
the facts fresh.
  
I finally told Mom about Mulder and me a few weeks ago.  I was 
amazed she hadn't asked sooner.  I  know she wanted to.   What puzzled 
me was how well she took it.  She's always had a soft spot for Mulder 
and at my age probably had a few hopes.  She seemed to agree with our 
course of action and  even said that our closeness was something she 
had never seen before between a man and a woman, romantically 
involved or not.  This shocked me.  Wasn't she that close with Dad?"  
The more I think about it,  the more it disturbs me.	  
  
  
************  
  
  
Scully's Apartment  
Annapolis, Maryland  
Tuesday, December 22  
7:36 PM  
  
  
The first full day of winter brought an impressive amount of cold air into 
the nation's capital and with it a few inches of snow.   After coming 
from work, Scully had quickly changed into an evening dress that would 
be appropriate for a small party of friends.  Most of whom she wouldn't 
know, but that wasn't a concern.  She was going with Gerold, that 
would be enough.  Out of desire that came with the loneliness or the 
sheer lack of social activity that had built up over time, Scully prepared 
herself for an evening of dancing, drink and the man who she wanted 
more with than she had been able to give thus far.   

Checking herself in the mirror once more, she glanced at the bed behind 
her momentarily wondering if she would be sleeping in it tonight.  
  
The knock on her door signaled her smile thinking of the man behind it 
and what this night may bring.  
  
Opening the door, the dark-haired man smiled at his date, "Hi, Dana."  
Seeking his usual friendly kiss on the cheek, Scully turned her head 
slightly to capture the side of his mouth and lingered there longer than 
normal.  Longer than they ever had.  Pleasantly surprised,  Gerold had 
been the one to initiate any contact between them and her readiness to 
join in had been absent, but not offensive.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
"Yeah, just let me get my coat."  
  
As she returned to her bedroom for a minute, Gerold wondered if his 
strategy for tonight were going to go as planned.  He hadn't seen any 
evidence in the past two months that would dictate otherwise, but that 
kiss made him think.  She had never been that willing and open to show 
affection, before.  His thoughts clouded over a bit as he considered his   
'date' tonight.  
  
Sinking down onto her couch in the living room, Gerold stretched his 
legs as his mind deciphered the random thoughts of the past week's 
events and what lay ahead of him in the near future.  A shorter man than 
average, he still had at least half a foot on Scully in that department, at 
least when she didn't wear heels.   Somewhat thick and muscular, he   
was solid with an earthy feel that gave away his older appearance.  A 
mane of dark  brown hair with the slight widow's peak accompanied a 
mild complexion that was offset by his gray eyes.  
  
Reappearing, the smile on Scully's  face made him think it was the 
perfect time to spring  his good news with her.    
  
"Dana, you look really nice tonight."  
  
The warm feeling from flushing with modesty ran through her as her 
hopes crept a little higher in anticipation of the night's promise.  
  
Putting his arm around her shoulder, he led her to the couch.  "Dana, 
there is someone that I want you to meet tonight.  Someone very 
important to me."  
  
Cautiously optimistic, Scully envisioned a relative, maybe even a parent 
that he wanted to introduce her to.  "Who?"  
  
"The woman I want to marry."  
  
Her smile turning up a notch at his joke, Scully's jaw suddenly went 
slack as she realized he was serious.  "What?"  
  
"I want you to meet Wendy...."  
  
In a more disturbed tone that she had wanted to portray, "I thought you 
told me you two broke up?"  
  
Seeing the look on her face and remembering the kiss at the door, 
Gerold unconsciously felt his stomach tighten at the prospect of having 
mislead Dana.  Searching for her eyes that were suddenly everywhere 
but on his, he knew that was what he had indeed done.  

"Well..... we did, but last week she called me up and we went out 
and...we sort of ..  settled out differences."  
  
"While I was out of town..."  She sighed into the statement, avoiding all 
pretenses of a question.  
  
"Yes, but that didn't have anything..."  Another wave of realization 
hitting him, "oh, Dana... you didn't think...."  
  
Screwing a pleasant look back on her face, "No, I guess I didn't."  
  
Sliding closer to her, he took her hand.  "Dana?  What did you think 
was happening here?"  
  
Lying, "I don't know..."  Her chin wrinkling up to convey her true 
emotions gave her away. "We've only been out a couple of times, but.." 
  
"I thought you didn't want that ......  I mean... I was just getting over 
Wendy and you had just left that Mulder guy, I didn't think we wanted 
to get back into that kind of relationship so soon."  
  
Angrily, "I didn't leave Mulder.... there was nothing to leave.  We .... it 
wasn't like that between us."  
  
Another piece of information he hadn't interpreted correctly, Gerold let 
out a long breath. "I'm so sorry, Dana.... I had no idea you wanted...."  
  
Quickly replaying some of their previous conversations Mulder in her 
head, she realized how it might of looked and sounded.  

"No....you have nothing to be sorry about, Gerold.  It was my fault.... 
I'm not very good at this dating thing," she said with a self deprecating 
smile.  
  
Gerold who was now unable to think straight was mortified.  "I feel like 
such an idiot...."  
  
Coming out of her form of self-emulation a little quicker than Gerold 
thought was realistic, "and you'll look like one if you don't get us there 
on time."  Standing up, she pulled him off the couch as well with a tight 
smile.  "Let's go.  I want to meet this Wendy of yours."  
  
Feeling slightly better, Gerold helped her with her coat leaving the 
apartment in a stillness that echoed Scully's heart.  
  
  
*************  
  

  
Drug Enforcement Agency  
Downtown, Washington, D.C.  
December 23  
2:09 PM  
  
The walk down the street from the Hoover building wasn't as bad as he 
had expected.    The cold was bearable as long as the wind was at his 
back and he moved with the other crowds of tourists and civil servants.     
  
Approaching his destination he sped up a bit looking for the inviting 
warmth the lobby would offer.  Not usually one to visit other agencies, 
Mulder wanted to check over a report that they had filed along with 
some drug paraphernalia that he thought might help his latest profile.  
One that, if he was guessing right, would be an easy case to close.  He   
could easily have it faxed over, but getting out of the crowded space of 
fellow co-workers was fast becoming his most cherished hobby.  
  
Grabbing hold of the door for another person in front who wasn't as 
eager to enter the building, he patiently waited while the older woman 
made her way.  Seeking the directory that would list the offices of his 
contact, he found it off to the side, close to the elevators.   
  
"Agent Mulder?"  
  
Looking around for whoever had called his name, he settled his eyes 
back to the elevator to his left and watched the blond woman, who he 
thought looked familiar, exit the elevator.  "Yes?"  
  
"Janice Maddox....remember?"  
  
"Oh, yeah.  How's it going?"  

Recalling the case that he and Scully had worked a few years back about 
the drug dealers using mutilated cattle to store capsules of heroin in to 
transport across state lines.  That had truly been one of the more bizarre 
cases that had come through the X-files.  
  
"Not too bad, just heading off to the D.O.J. to submit a potential case 
for their perusal," she said with a certain amount of sarcasm.  
  
"Still putting away bad guys?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm trying.  The bigger they are the harder they fall."  She said 
referring to the types of criminals she dealt with.  The D.E.A. didn't 
spend time on smaller offenders, they specialized in the bigger fish, who 
ran the syndicates.  
   
"What brings you out this way, Agent Mulder?"  
  
Catching himself staring, "Oh, I'm just here checking out a lead I wanted 
to follow on a case."  
  
"Don't tell me you've found more cattle mutilators..."  Her brow pinched 
in acute anxiety out of fear of having to explain another bizarre case to 
her superiors.  
  
Mulder cut her off before a more vivid description she might offer 
would cause him to pale.  "No, no.  Just a more .... mundane serial killer 
who has a thing for `Ecstasy.'"  
  
"I thought you were into the weird stuff.... what did you call it?  
Paranormal?"  
  
A bittersweet smile forming on his lips, "No... not anymore.  I'm back 
with I.S.U."  
  
"Profiling?"  
  
"If that's what they're calling it this week."      
  
Remembering his dry wit, Janice also recalled she hadn't seen any 
wedding band on his finger the last time she had seen him a few years 
back.    
  
Checking his left hand again, "Sounds like interesting work."  
  
"About as interesting as having a tack-hammer used to fix a migraine."  
  
Something about his behavior peaked her curiosity.  "I'd love to hear 
about it sometime."  
  
Mulder gave her an easy smile trying to figure out if she had just asked 
him on a date.  
  
"Here," she said as she dug into her suit pocket.  Pulling out a small 
gold business card case she fingered one and handed it to him.  "Give 
me a call sometime, I would really like to hear about the 'art' of 
profiling.  It may help me in my work, who knows?"  
  
Mulder was about to agree, thinking it was purely professional, until he 
looked at her card.  "Janice Ryan?"  
  
The smile on her face faded for a second when he noticed her new last 
name.  "Yeah, after my divorce six months ago, I took back my maiden 
name."  
  
Mulder was now sure she had asked him out.  
  
  
*************		  


Journal:  DKS
  
What a difference twenty-four hours can make.  Just when I 
imagined a future with Gerold, I have those inclinations hopelessly 
dashed once again. The look on his face when he told me about 
Wendy..... well, I could tell that we were obviously on different wave 
lengths.   

That little comment I made about not being very good at 
dating sounded so lame.   The more I replay that back over in my 
mind.... I just cringe. Am I that out of practice?  I saw Gerold cringe 
too. Maybe not literally, but he knew that after having thrown his future 
fiance in my face to leave well enough alone.  It was all I could do just 
to get out of there.  I realize now that telling Gerold about Mulder.... 
how I told him..... what it must of  sounded like.  Sometimes I don't 
even know anymore.  
	

After meeting the infamous Wendy, I felt even more horrible.  
Just seeing them together was enough to make me believe without a 
doubt that Gerold really hadn't expected anything from our seeing each 
other.   The way he looked into her eyes, the way hers lit up at the sight 
of his.  It was the look that all little girls dream of when they think   
of their prince charming.  I think I even dreamed that dream once... a 
long time ago.  Before corpses, Mulder, and the FBI.  

Taking stock of my re-discovered social life I examine the men I've been 
interested in.  Noting the differences.  The similarities.  The way I've 
met them.  Why has it become so important to me all of a sudden?  Why 
now?  I've never needed anyone else in my life to make me happy.  
Have I?  

Reading back over what I've written something stands out to me.  
"Those inclinations.....once again."  Isn't that a oxy-moron?  A 
paradox?  How can something happen once, only to have it happen 
again?   For all those endless hours of editing papers in college for 
roommates or whomever, I wish I had a dollar for every time I struck 
through that phrase to point out how impossible it is in writing a 
concise,  understandable report.  
	
Just when I had imagined a future without Mulder, just when I 
had imagined a future with Gerold..... just when I thought `once again' 
was impossible.   
  
  
*************    
  
Mulder's Apartment  
Alexandria, Virginia  
December 24  
12:03 AM  
  
  
Journal:  
  
I pushed a case through VCS in record time this week.  Only 
able to spend three hours doing the research and I had a profile.  
Actually it was the same profile for James Ally Swain., who died last 
year in Texas's gas chamber.  The serial killer who did a poor   
case of copying his MO, left too many clues not to mention his drug 
fetish.  It's amazing the buffoons in Montana couldn't piece it together 
sooner.  I wonder if the cutbacks have really hurt the Bureau this bad or 
they're that stupid.  

Amazingly, I ran into Janice Ryan again.  She asked me out this 
time.  I can't believe she came right up to me and just asked.  I was 
incredibly flattered, but I couldn't do it.  Hasn't she heard the rumors 
about 'Spooky?'    I said I was busy. I have my  reasons as you may well 
know.  It wasn't a complete lie, but she was very gracious about   
the whole thing, which ironically,  makes me want to reconsider.   It 
would be nice to have someone to talk to, especially of the opposite sex.  
Not that I'm complaining, but Byers, Frohike, and Langly can only do 
so much.  It's funny..... I saw them as the losers at one point and now 
look who's talking.  Maybe I'll give Janice a call.
  
Another Christmas is here and will soon be gone.  I can't believe how 
they roll on by in a blur.  How my life has become a blur.  I saw her 
again yesterday across the street with her partner.  It seems like 
yesterday I was the one she was always talking to.  In the same respect, 
it feels like a million years ago.  
  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Margaret Scully's house  
Baltimore, Maryland  
Christmas Eve  
  
The Scully clan arrived on Christmas Eve to the matriarch of their 
family's home.  Older and wiser, Margaret Scully embodied all that the 
Scully family stood for. She was a survivor, a mother, a friend.  She 
would lead her family in good times and bad.  Charlie was, of course, 
still out to sea, but his wife, Sarah and her two children were there along   
with the eldest son, Bill and his pregnant again wife Tara.  Their two 
children were growing fast and in constant competition with their 
cousins.  
  
The past few years, Christmas was not especially a joyous time.  The 
loss of her father coupled with the memories of Emily always bore their 
mark on Scully.  Inevitably, surrounded by a future that she realized too 
late to have, made it even more difficult at this time of the year.  Scully, 
however, was a survivor like her mother and would push on through, 
holding in her grief and feelings as best as possible.  
  
After a family dinner the Scully's sat around their mother's den drinking 
eggnog, trading stories and remembering good times.  It had been long 
ago when Scully wasn't supposed to see another Christmas, now she 
would see many more, barring a return of the cancer.  
  
Bill Jr. sat on the couch with his wife cozied in next to him watching 
their children play with the presents under the tree arranging them by 
recipient and giver.  The small playful innocent laughter came freely 
from the younger ones, oblivious to the surrounding world thinking 
only of the few short hours between them and a new toy.   

Feeling out of place as usual, Scully tried to think of other times.  More 
pleasant occasions when the ribbings she took for being single didn't 
hurt as much as the lack thereof and the obvious awareness of her 
solitary life.  Idle chat about their lives took place between family 
members that, for the most part, didn't see each other too much.  
  
The air between Scully and her older brother was still tense, but 
softening.  The time of  her cancer had brought out issues between 
them that neither side could understand.  Issues still unresolved, but 
better left alone.  This night of celebration found the two putting their 
troubles in the past as they tried to forget about that troubling time.  
  
Uncomfortable in the presence of his own sister, Bill decided to try and  
break the ice a little more.  "Dana?"  
  
Scully turned her head away from the children as she sat there nursing 
an after dinner drink.  "Yes, Bill?"  
  
"I heard that your work is going well from Mom."  
  
The probing inquisition was Bill's classic way of conversing.  Unable to 
ask the question he really wanted to ask, he would skirt the obvious.    
  
"Yes, work is fine.  Things have changed somewhat, but it is still 
challenging.  I really enjoy it."  
  
"Mom tells me you have a new partner also."  
  
"Yes.... I do."  His objection to her last one, Mulder, was still fresh in 
her mind.  "You might even like this one.  He's from southern California 
himself, just a few miles north of where you live now."  
  
"So?  No more searching for little green men?"  
  
The light from her eyes dwindled as the barb thrown at her by her own 
brother found its way to its intended target with the usual discomfort.  
Not one to easily back down from him nor wanting to let him on to how 
much the X-files had meant to her, Scully offered her own piece of 
information that would catch him by surprise.  "Not when you've found   
them."  
  
The look on his face registered confusion  and disbelief at her 
suggestion.  Seeing a small glimmer in her eyes and a devious smile 
slowly form, Bill relaxed at her joke.     
  
To herself, Scully thought he would never know how close she had 
been to the truth of the subject.  Better to let him go on, not knowing 
what might have been if it hadn't been for Mulder and his little sister.  
  
"That Mulder guy isn't around anymore?"   'Ahh,' Scully thought to 
herself.  The heart of his curiosity revealing itself in less than the 
standard five questions he usually tended to take.  
  
Taking another assuring sip of the warm liquor from her glass, she 
turned her head back to gaze at the fire lapping its flames towards an 
open flue.  "No, not lately, Bill."  She got up and left the room to its 
now restless atmosphere realizing their conversation had become the 
focus of the others there.  

*************
  
The family planned to attend midnight mass in a few hours.  The 
younger children would stay behind with Scully who volunteered to 
stay home and watch them.  As she waited for them to leave, she stood 
looking out over the bay window in the living room watching this 
peaceful night that was gently sprinkled with flurries.  Not enough 
to cover the ground, but enough to say it snowed on Christmas.  
  
Her brother along with her two sisters-in-law were busy tucking their 
children in while Margaret came downstairs to wait for them to get 
ready.  Noticing her own daughter buried deep in thought, she came up 
behind her.   Seeing her mom approach in the reflection, Scully put on 
her best smile somehow knowing her mother would not be so easily  
fooled.  
  
"I don't think we'll get enough snow to make it until morning."  
  
Fully aware of Dana's demeanor after the earlier conversation in the 
living room, Margaret place her hands on her daughter's shoulders and 
stood behind her, both taking in their reflections.  Locking gazes they 
stared at each other searching for the words.  
  
In a soothing calm voice, Margaret spoke first.  "Dana, I know it's 
hard..... Christmas time is always the worst."

"There is one thing a mother never wishes to have in common with a 
daughter, especially losing one."    
  
Dana dipped her head in recognition of her mother's perceptive mind. 
Emily and Melissa.  Both lost daughters of two Scully women.  Cursing 
her own sensitive awareness of others, she must have gotten it from 
somewhere.  "It's  better, Mom.  Every year, it gets a little better."  
  
"You're missing him too, aren't you?"  
  
A hint of veiled panic in her voice, "Of course......... I miss Dad 
everyday."  
  
"I know you miss your father, sweetheart.... but I'm not talking about 
him ....."  Her mother had those all knowing eyes flashing again in the 
way only a mother could display.  

"I could see it on your face when Bill mentioned his name."
  
Dana's head snapped up.  Seeing her mother's meaning, she knew her 
mother had again  picked up on her thoughts.  
  
"Dana..... Christmas is very reflective time of the year. And you and Fox 
went through a lot this past one, it's only natural to have these feelings."  
  
Her eyes falling shut, Scully knew when to give up when it came to her 
own mother.  "I know, Mom..... I'm aware of this.  I just wonder where 
he is ....... what kind of Christmas he's having.......  I feel guilty 
sometimes for leaving things the way we did."  
  
"I know you do...... but you two chose to move on..... to let go......if 
that's what you both want?"  
  
Turning around to face her mother she confided in her a secret that she 
was slowly beginning to see as well.  "Sometimes I don't know.  Some 
days my life seems like it's never been better......... and other day's I 
wonder how I've been able to go on without him."  

Scully released an agonizing breath as she finished her thought.  It was 
as if the weight of telling someone else, would ease her mind.  "I miss 
him terribly."
  
"Dana, I don't know what to tell you, but I think he's probably going 
through much the same thing."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Friday, January 15  
Cafe Marchemont  
Downtown, Washington D. C.  
6:34 PM  
  
For the second time in as many weeks Janice Ryan, a lawyer who 
worked for the D.E.A., was meeting Mulder for dinner.  Mulder had 
called her up out of the blue the previous Friday and asked if the offer 
for a night out was still good.  Their first date was a simple, casual 
dinner at a sports bar.  
  
Janice was the oldest sister of four brothers and a successful attorney 
who held a certain 'tom-boyish' quality.  Never to be mistaken for 
anything but female, the natural blond with sharp, attractive features 
enjoyed sports, movies and was, in her own words, very 'guy-friendly.'   
A year older than Mulder and aging well, she was the survivor of a   
young marriage that had just ended in bitter divorce.   She gave up 
custody of her son, only for the fact that his father would have more 
time to devote to him.     
  
Both married to their work, Mulder shared with her other commonalties 
that drew them closer together than first imagined.  Mulder saw in her a 
woman that was sure of herself and able to relate to him what she was 
feeling at anytime, not one to hold back anything.  Mulder tried to 
adjust to this new, yet strangely appealing approach.  
  
Passing a series of silent tests that Mulder offered on their first date, 
Mulder asked her for a second one.   Refreshingly, she didn't seem to 
pay attention to the 'Spooky' stories that floated around the halls of the 
Department of Justice.  A week later, they sat in a coffee house 
somewhere between the Hoover building and her own downtown office.  
  
The first hour was spent idly chatting about harrowing case stories from 
work and soon dipped into their own backgrounds.   Learning about 
each other through questioning and exploration, the two newfound 
friends enjoyed the age old process of getting to know one another.  
  
Mulder wouldn't go into details, but he did relay the story of his stay in 
the basement that had officially sealed his nickname.  
  
"You were hit hard by the budget cuts too?   My office was practically 
stripped of its entire operating budget.  I lost three paralegals and two 
assistants in that crap."  
  
"They split Scully and me up, sent us back to VCS.......  you know the 
rest."  
  
"Scully?"   Janice looked up with her eyes closed repeating the name 
trying to recall the familiar sounding name.  
  
Seeing her plight, "Yeah, Scully.... you know?  The announcer for the 
Dodgers.  Vin Scully?"  
  
Janice's dark brown eyes widened slightly at the implication.  Mulder 
headed her off before she could ask.  "No, no relation.  Just the same 
last name.  That's where most people have heard the name."  
  
"I swear I know that name from somewhere else, though."  
  
"Dana Scully, she's a forensic pathologist.  Very smart.  You might have 
seen her around the Department of Justice building a few times."  
  
"Short, red head?"    
  
"That's her.  But don't ever let her hear you call her short.  She has the 
temper to match the hair."  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Yeah, she was something else."  Mulder's mind wandered off for a few 
seconds as he pleasantly recalled the sight of his former partner.  
  
Noticing the faraway look in his eye, "You still work with her much?"  
  
"Nah..."Shaking his head and staring back down at his coffee, "No, we 
don't talk much these days."  
  
Sensing there was more to the story, "What happened?"  
  
Mulder looked up to Janice fumbling for the right description of the 
events during those last few months after the Bureau reorganization.  
  
"We..... we decided to ... we decided it was best if we didn't see each 
other anymore."  
  
Regarding this situation in a whole new light, Janice had not suspected 
Mulder and his former partner were lovers.     
  
Seeing the look in her eye, Mulder re-examined his own words to find 
the source of discomfort.  Realizing how it must have sounded, he 
jumped back in to clarify the matter.  
  
"It wasn't like that Jan.  We were close, but not in that way.  After the 
Bureau split us up, we had some difficulty finding where we belonged in 
each other's lives.  It pretty much disintegrated from there......."  
  
"The stories you hear about law enforcement partners getting too 
close..... was that the problem?"  
  
Reflecting at the analysis offered by Janice, "Maybe... maybe we WERE 
too close...."  A sorrowful look casting over his face, "and then again, 
maybe we weren't close enough."  
  
"You miss her.... don't you?"  
  
One side of his mouth curled up at his obvious inability to talk about 
Scully without  hedging his feelings for her and the past.  "Yes I do, Jan.  
She was the most important person in my life for a long time."  
  
Pressing her luck, Janice was still curious.  "Did it end badly?"  
  
A little annoyed at the impromptu interrogation, "Of course it ended 
badly..... otherwise it wouldn't have ended."  

Stemming the tide of his resurfacing frustration, Mulder softened his 
voice in a apologetic way.  "Listen, Jan.  I would really rather not talk 
about it.  Every time I try to forget about it.........something just keeps 
dragging it back up."  
  
Detecting his painful history with this person he called 'Scully,' she 
found that she could  relate to him on yet another front.  "I promise, no 
more.  You don't ask about my 'ex' and I won't ask you anymore about 
your old partner."  
  
Smiling his approval at the arrangement, Mulder nodded and called for 
the check.   "Come on, we're going to miss the movie if we don't get out 
of here."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Scully's Apartment  
February 23  
8:23 PM  
  
  
Arriving home after another tedious day in the field, Scully found 
herself alone on her birthday.   It wasn't necessarily a bad thing because 
when women usually reached her age, the last thing she wanted to do 
was sit around a be reminded of the fact that middle age had arrived 
without any fanfare or great revelations.  
  
Scully studied the card and flowers that accompanied her present from 
her mother who was in San Diego helping Tara after the successful 
delivery of yet another baby boy.  Bill Jr. was certainly doing his best to 
follow in his father's footsteps.  The other card she had received served 
to send her thoughts backward as well as forward.  
  
After a small dinner by herself, Scully answered the phone just before 
she was about to dive into a new book she had bought that was 
currently residing in the number three position on the New York Times 
best-seller's list.    
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Dana!!"  
  
"Gerold?"  
  
"Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!."  
  
"Thanks, but I could do without the reminders, I've gotten enough of 
them already today.  Larry made a spectacle of himself in the cafeteria 
today by singing to me out loud.  By the time he was finished, the whole 
lunch crowd had chimed in......... it was so embarrassing."  
  
Laughing at her whimsical recounting of a morbid day of birthday hell, 
"Ohh... darn, I was going to sing to you right now."  
  
Playfully, "Do it and you'll get the dial tone!"  
  
"So how's it going Dana?  I haven't spoken to you in almost three 
weeks."  
  
"I know, I'm sorry.  I've just been busy at work.  We had to fly to Los 
Angeles for a symposium on the latest in forensic technology, then we 
left there to catch a case in Tucson. We pretty much stayed tied up."  
  
"Sounds kinky, Dana."    
  
Smiling at the familiar teasing, she found herself caught up for a second, 
thinking of Mulder.    
  
"Hey, you'll never guess who I got a card from..."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Mulder."  She said lowly.  
  
The silence on the other end was a sign of the unsure nature Gerold had 
when Mulder's name came up.  He was aware of what Mulder had 
meant to her and felt a little uncomfortable about whether or not to 
discuss it.   Scully was sometimes reluctant to talk about him and at 
other times couldn't stop herself.  
  
"Really?"  His voice reflected the wariness that naturally accompanied 
someone protective of a friend.  
  
"It was typical....Mulder... in a good way that is.."  
  
"How do you feel about this?"  
  
"It was just a card.  No big deal."  
  
"Trust me, Dana.  I'm a guy too, remember?  Sending cards is usually 
not something we do normally."  
  
"Well maybe some time apart is doing us some good after all.  Mom 
seems to think that this will all blow over after a while."  
  
"Well, I hope it does."  
  
Silence again filled the line as a moment went by.  "So?  Has 
Wendy come down from cloud nine yet?"  
  
Chuckling into the phone, "No, she still can't believe we're getting 
married.  She doesn't even want to take the ring off for a shower.  She's 
so precious."  
  
"I'll bet she is, Gerold."  Pausing, "Have you guys thought about 
setting a date yet?"  
  
"She's looking at late May or June of course.  Can't blame her, she 
wants the ferry-tale like all little girls did.... which reminds me. We 
would like for you to be a bridesmaid if you can clear it with your 
schedule.  You've come to mean a lot to me and Wendy."  
  
"I would love to, Gerold.  Just tell Wendy to call me whenever to start 
making arrangements."  
  
In the short amount of time since Christmas, Wendy and Dana had 
become as good of friends with each other as Scully had with Gerold.
Scully could see the love that she held for Gerold was genuine and 
deep.  Their little break up had been over a silly misunderstanding that, 
when figured out, had brought them closer together.  
  

*************  
  
Journal:  DKS
  
  
Happy birthday, Journal.  Another year, another day.   No big 
fanfare as any woman my age now desires.  Mom sent lovely flowers 
and a new cardigan sweater she saw me eyeing on a recent shopping 
trip.  Oh.. she tries so hard.
 	  
Gerold called today to cheer me up.  He really is a sweetheart.  
Maybe if I had of gotten to him sooner, things would be different 
between us, but I know that's not what I would have really wanted nor 
would he.  Seeing his face light up when he told me he proposed to 
Wendy last month, genuinely made me happy for him.  I think he 
wanted my approval more than anything because it was rather sudden, 
but as he innocently told me, "life is short,"  I couldn't deny him.   He 
helped to fill a gap, that has been aching for a while now...... almost a 
full year.  

As good as this day went, it only got better when I saw the card that 
Mulder sent me.  I was totally surprised, but then again, not completely.  
Mulder always had a way of remarkably doing something unanticipated.  
A simple gesture that meant more to me than the whole day.  Seeing 
that I am still on his mind, made my heart jump a bit.  Maybe Mom was 
right.    

True to form, his few words spoke more to my heart than he 
could have said if he were here in person.  'Thinking of you on your 
birthday, Always, Mulder."  
  

*************  


Charleston, South Carolina
Friday, March 7
4:15 PM  

Waiting inside the car, the small woman turned the air conditioning back 
on.  Wiping her brow, she thanked her lucky stars that her homeland 
hadn't been subjected to the humididty and warmth of this southern, 
coastal town.  Even in March, with winter's days seemingly numbered, 
she wasn't used to the heat that swelled in the tight confines of her 
sports car.  Outside, the cooling breeze off the coast would make things 
bearable, but hidden inside the car she found it stifling.

Seeing her partner emerge from the old building in the dilapidated 
downtown district, her nerves tensed a bit.  Wishing she were here 
robbing the bank instead of making a deposit of sorts, she checked her 
weapon making sure the extra piece was securely screwed in place.

Navigating the late afternoon deluge of the beginning weekend traffic, 
she unlocked the passenger side door.  A few seconds later, the man 
she was with entered the vehicle and she drove off.

Keeping one hand on the wheel, she leaned over to collect her kiss for 
his favor.  In the same motion, with her free hand, she pushed the end of 
her silenced gun into his chest, pulling the trigger three quick times.

The first mistake made was usually the most damaging.


*************  
  

Mulder's apartment  
Saturday, March 8  
  
  
A year had come and gone since the last day of the X-files official 
existence.  The department would live on in legendary perpetuity, but 
was now relegated to a relic of the past.    
  
Mulder woke on his couch and prepared for a lazy day of basketball 
with some of the guys down at the gym.  A date with Jan would follow 
tonight as it had for the past six Saturday nights.  They were always 
friendly casual dates that hadn't gone past the goodnight kiss at the 
door.  Both were highly motivated, work obsessed individuals that   
knew their boundaries.  After the most recent personal entanglements at 
this point in their relationship, intimacy was more important on a 
spiritual level than a physical one, although Mulder felt the heaviness in 
the air that seemed to accompany their conversations as of late.   
  
Mulder returned to his apartment in time for a quick shower after hitting 
the local grocery store.   He had invited her over for dinner instead of 
the usual restaurant fare.     
  
Answering the door to find Jan waiting in a dinner dress, he wondered if 
this was the night they found a new level of intimacy.  "Evening, Fox,"  
followed a quick peck on the cheek from her as she walked in to survey 
the damage of his kitchen.  
  
The meal was simple and light.  Pasta and vegetables served with a 
dessert wine to waste the evening away with.  A few drinks later and 
Mulder was beginning to loosen up a bit after the relatively 
conversation free dinner.  Considering his strange demeanor all   
evening long, Jan couldn't take the awkwardness anymore.   

"Something on your mind, Fox?"  
  
Breaking out of his train of thought, "Oh, nothing.  I was just thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"You, me, the past year........ "  
  
Pinching her eyes together, she asked the question without having to 
voice it.  
  
"It's been a year, Jan.  A whole year since the X-files have been shut 
down.  I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be here...  not like 
this ... a year later."  
  
Curious, she tried to draw his attention back to the present.  "No, it 
doesn't seem like two months since we started dating, does it?"  
  
Mulder remained in quiet contemplation as his mind ran through a 
picture book of the last years events.  Skinner's face the day he told 
them, the embrace with Scully in their old office and their last good-bye 
in the hallway outside her door.  
  
Seeing the results having no effect, "Fox, what is it?"  
  
Shaking his head from side to side, "I don't know...I guess I just get 
caught up thinking too much once in a while." 

"You know that could be a dangerous thing for you."  Unaware of what 
she had said, Mulder's face darkened with past memories. 
  
Leaving her chair, she pulled Mulder's hand into her own and took him 
to the couch.    
  
"Fox, It's me Jan.  It's just you and me.  No pressure, no harm, no foul.  
What's bugging you?"  
  
"I have this.....a tendency to live in the past.  I've spent my whole life 
looking backwards trying to find a future.  Sometimes, it catches up 
with me......"   His eyes never left the his desk where a small four by six 
picture of him and Scully sat in a frame next to the one of Samantha.  
"What you said..... it sounded .... for a minute you sounded like Scully."
  
Releasing a heavy breath.  "Fox, I know we agreed to not talk about 
this, but you can't seem to move forward from it."  
  
His silence encouraged her to continue on what she knew was tenuous 
territory for Mulder and their own future if they were to pursue one.  
"You're still thinking of her, aren't you?"  
  
His eyes finding their still entwined hands gave her the answer even 
without his next words.  "I'm sorry, I just can't seem to let go some 
days."  
  
"I don't think you ever have...... and a part of me is telling me .....you 
don't want to."  
  
Wanting to disagree at her last statement, he knew that the only shock 
he really felt was the fact the words were true, piercing their way into 
his own heart.  His face falling into acknowledgment that she was 
correct, he almost felt as if an albatross had been taken from his 
shoulders, but not completely.  
  
"Fox, you obviously have a lot of issues built up over this.  Don't sit 
there and hold it in....it won't do any good.... it never does."  

Offering him a gentle poke in the chest, "Believe me, if my years of 
therapy have taught me one thing, it's the more you hold it in, the more 
it's going to hurt when it does come out."  
  
A familiar feeling of frustration setting in, "What do you want me to 
say?  I miss her... I can't stand to see her in the hallways... I'm disgusted 
every time she ignores me...."  
  
Nodding her head vigorously, "That would be a good start...... come 
on..what else?"  
  
"The fact she was the one thing in my life that kept me living.... wanting 
to live ..... the fact she must hate me for all I did to her...."  
  
"Did to her?  What did you do to her?"  
  
Not wanting to delve into details that she probably wouldn't believe, 
Mulder left out the litany of depressing events that would seem too 
incredible to be real.  "I just... she wouldn't have had to deal with so 
much if she hadn't of been partnered with me."
  
Continuing her prodding, she had successfully and finally gotten 
Mulder to start talking.  Afraid he would clam up, she kept her hand on 
his knee encouraging him.  "Good... this is good, Fox.  What else is 
there that you never got to say?"  
  
Almost oblivious to her insistence, Mulder was letting it all flow out, as 
if in a hypnotic state unable to filter his emotions and thoughts.  "Her 
god-damn avoidance all the time, the way she would always pull 
away....just when I thought we had ...........DAMNIT!"  

Mulder's fist came pounding down on the coffee table in front of them 
spilling their wine glasses, startling Janice from the wonder she was in 
at his pent up emotions.  
  
Drawing her hand to rest on his back as he leaned forward on his knees, 
Janice stroked his back and leaned down with him.  Just under her 
breath she asked him the question he had never thought to honestly 
ask himself.   "Fox, did she ever blame you?   Did she ever tell you   
that she held you responsible for anything?"  
  
"No, but... she would never come out and say something like that...."  
  
"Look at me."  Janice pulled his face around to meet hers.  "Were you 
holding her there?  Did she ever want to leave the partnership?"  
  
"One time... yes... but she didn't... she wouldn't leave.."  
  
"She came back to you didn't she?  She made her own choice to return.  
Just like all the other choices she made."  
  
Looking at Janice fully for the first time this evening, he felt a small 
amount of truth to her words.  
  
"You can't feel guilty because of the choices she made."  Releasing her 
own breath of frustration.  "Fox, you can't go chasing demons that 
aren't yours to chase."  
  
Seeing the raw beauty of Janice before him, it struck him at that point 
how he managed not to kiss her yet.  Ever so slowly he leaned in and 
kissed her softly on the lips.  
  
Surprised, but not dismayed by his actions, Janice leaned into the kiss 
with just as much passion.  Tilting his head slowly to the right, Mulder 
deepened the kiss and pulled her to him with a hand resting on the back 
of her neck.  Gaining momentum, Mulder became ravenous and 
ferocious, assaulting her mouth with vigor that was filled with hungry 
desire.  Desire that was not meant for her.  
  
Conflicted by the emotions at hand and her own recent experiences, 
Janice pulled back just as gently as Mulder had started the kiss, smiling 
that bittersweet smile she knew by heart.  Pressing her forehead to his, 
she regained her breath.  
  
"Fox, as much as we would like to do this, we can't."  Silencing his 
questioning eyes before he could voice them, "You wouldn't be making 
love to me and I wouldn't be making love to you."  
  
Closing his eyes at the truest words he had ever heard, he dipped his 
head to her shoulder intent on sleeping on it forever, if she would let 
him.  
  
Pulling him closer, she hugged him just as hard, content just to hold 
him.  "Your heart belongs to someone else and before we could ever go 
forward, you would need to get it back first.....that's how I lost my 
husband.... and that's how you'll get past this."  
  
Gently, Mulder pulled their now joined hands to his tear streaked face 
and kissed the back of her hand.  An apology that he hoped she could 
accept.  "I'm sorry, Jan.  I never meant for you to get caught up in 
this....."  
  
Painfully smiling at his revelation, Jan interrupted him.  "No, Fox.  You 
have nothing to be sorry about.  No one was hurt.  We're still friends, 
we're still going to have dinner together like always and we still need 
someone to take out our frustrations on.  I do love you, Fox Mulder, 
but right now we need to slow it down."  
  
Hearing her words weren't half as comforting as seeing the implicit 
understanding which shone from her eyes.  Mulder thanked an 
unknown God that he hadn't hurt her.  
  
"I know what you're feeling.  I've been there."  
  
Finding someone that could identify with, he begged the question.  
"How do you let it go... how do you get along without someone you 
depended on for so long?"  
  
"In a great many respects,  you don't.   You do the best you can.  
Sometimes......... love is about letting go."  
  
"But we weren't ....."  
  
Putting her hand squarely on his chest to stop him.  "Don't say it.  
Don't sell yourselves short like that."  
  
Not grasping her meaning, Mulder wanted to protest.  
  
"Listen.  Maybe you weren't like that, but let me ask you a question. Did 
you love her?   You don't have to answer, just ..... be honest with 
yourself.... let your feelings go...just feel.   Do you love her?"  
  
"In my own way.....yes."  Another moment of quiet deliberation.
  
"Yes, I did love her.  She was the best friend, the only one I've ever 
completely trusted.  You've got to understand, though.  After all we 
went through together, the years of practically living day to day 
depending on each other....... "  
  
"Did she ever know this?  Did you ever tell her what... how much she 
meant to you?"  
  
This time, he didn't have to respond.  They both knew from experience 
Mulder's reluctance to voice his heart's true feelings.  
  
Finally, "Well it doesn't matter now, does it?  I haven't heard from her in 
almost a year..."  
  
"If ..if didn't matter, Fox..... if it doesn't matter, we wouldn't' be sitting 
here talking about it, would we?"  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Folger Park  
Washington, D.C.  
April 12  
4:32 PM  
  
Moving slowly through a crowd of tourists, the man doubled back after 
a few minutes,  intent on seeing the suspicious gentleman that had been 
following him for the better part of the last hour through the 
surrounding Capitol area.  
  
Catching a glimpse of his predator, he soon discovered his paranoia 
was for nothing, noting the man's unkempt appearance and drunken 
demeanor.  Panhandlers weren't common in this part of the city, but the 
occasional nut, bent on lending his opinions to Congress, usually 
found their way to the steps of the United States Capitol eager to spout   
off the few remaining beleaguered beliefs that he could hang onto in his 
stupor.  
  
As in the months before, the man found his way to the familiar bench 
waiting for his special visitor.  A certain anticipation always developed 
when waiting for her.  She was rarely seen and the meetings were 
always intriguing to say the least.  The dogwoods, in full bloom, shaded 
the afternoon sun overhanging their bench, creating a spectrum like   
pattern able to enclose the sun between shadows making the afternoon 
temperature pleasant.  
  
Another moment or two and he would give up, deciding she wasn't 
interested in the continued sessions that had drawn them together in 
the first place.  While the tourists stopped to take pictures of flowers 
and other assorted exotic plants not indigenous to this part of the 
country, the gentle clicking of heels made their way to his ears, 
signifying his underestimation of his partner again.    
  
Taking her seat next to him, she crossed her legs, paying no particular 
interest in what he was doing or about to say.  For all other onlookers, 
the two sat close enough to assume acquaintances or far enough away 
to be complete strangers.  
  
Staring at the editorial page of a local paper, "Having any luck?"  
  
"Let's just say Romeo delivered the goods, then he fell from the 
balcony."  
  
"Sorry to hear about that...."  The gentleman said with an evil smile. 
"..but it sounds like the stage is set." 
  
A few minutes passed as the two continued the maddening, yet 
deliberate pace of their conversations.  
  
"How about you," the smaller figure asked the man.  
  
"Maybe.  It might be tricky though.  The interested party is quite weary 
of new clients, if  you know what I mean."  
  
"Their kind can be like that."  A minute or two passing, "Are you sure 
you want to do this?"  
  
Looking back to the smaller lady, "As long as you keep your eye on 
what you really want."   
  
  
One-hundred yards away..........  
  
The drunk man tucked his bottle in close to him, fearful of someone 
taking it from him.  Staggering briefly, the man took notice of the pair 
on the bench as they got up at different times and walked away in 
different directions.  'Such a pretty woman,' the man thought to himself.  
'I might have to follow her home.'   Checking to make sure, he tucked 
his small camera back into his vest pocket.
  
A few minutes later, the drunk man stood up from his own seat that had 
been made of cement.   Checking the horizon, as well as those around 
him, he straightened up and confidently strode down the sidewalk 
finding the nearest trash receptacle to throw his bottle of spring water 
into.  
  
  
  
  
  
St. Stephen's Chapel  
Baltimore, Maryland  
June 10   
3:04 PM  
  
The day was warm and bright.  The showers that threatened to turn the 
wedding into a water logged event cleared out early in the morning to 
reveal a blue sky rich with color and a few lingering clouds.  A little 
muggy, enough to press the air conditioners into service, Scully helped 
her friend Wendy Richards with the final touches of her makeup   
before proceeding down the aisle to marry her true love, Gerold, and 
become Wendy Williams.  
  
Standing back to look at herself in the mirror, Wendy grabbed a tissue 
just in case a tear escaped on the way to the aisle.    
  
Coming up behind her to see for herself, Scully shook her head.  "What, 
Dana?  Did I forget something."  
  
"Oh, no.... it's just you look so beautiful, Wendy.  Gerold won't know 
what to do with himself."  
  
With a sly grin, the blond couldn't resist the setup.  "Well he better stop 
doing it with himself and start doing it to me if he knows what's good 
for him."   This bit of last minute humor from the bride herself lifted 
everyone's serious mood.  
  
Grabbing her hand, "Come on Wendy, you've got a husband waiting."  

  
*************


The modest sized service went off without any problems and the happy 
couple were married in a few moments time to the disgustingly 
traditional service void of any imperfections.     
  
The dinner reception held after the service was filled with champagne, 
food and dancing.   After the requisite dance between the newly weds, 
Scully found herself in the arms of the groom swaying softly to the 
music as other friends and relatives each took their own turns dancing 
with the happy couple.   
  
"What are you smiling at, Dana?"  
  
"I just can't believe you're married, that's all.  It wasn't more than eight 
months ago you were that shy accountant that tried to pick me up at the 
grocery store."  
  
Laughing into his own bright smile, "It worked didn't it?"  
  
All Scully could do was smile in agreement.  
  
"You know, Dana?  This could be you someday."  
  
Arching her brow in amusement at his suggestion.  "Yeah, don't hold 
your breath."  
  
Gerold continued to lead the dance while he considered his next words 
carefully.  
  
"Dana, take it from me.  Someone who's a tiny bit older, not half as 
attractive AND as of  almost two hours ago a happily married man.... if 
I can find someone to marry me, you most certainly can also."  
  
Shaking her head through her smile, she continued to rebuff the idea.  
"I've never allowed myself to seriously consider it.  Too many things got 
in the way.  Too many goals."  
  
Gerold stopped their dance and turned very serious as he made his next 
words hit home.  "Dana, you have an enormous capacity for love.  Not 
only to love, but to be loved.  It's never too late, trust me.  I'm a firm 
believer that there is someone out there for everyone."  
  
Several minutes passed as they danced along.  Scully lifted her head to 
look back up  at Gerold.  "What if that someone passed you by?  What 
if you didn't know what you wanted until you couldn't have it?"  
  
With thoughtful consideration of her words, Gerold stopped the dance 
again.  "What if that someone didn't know how to get what she wanted 
and was too afraid to do something about it?"  
  
Taking his words to heart, he nudged her and  restarted the dance.  
Before it ended,  Gerold had one more word of advice.  
  
"Will you promise me something, Dana?  I mean, give me and Wendy 
one last wedding present."  
  
"Sure, anything, Gerold."  
  
"I know that you said you and this Mulder guy were not involved, but 
there is more there than you're telling me...... telling yourself.  I see it in 
your eyes every time you mention his name, and I hear it in your voice 
as well.  For someone that you're trying to forget about.....live without, 
his name sure does keep coming up a lot."  
  
Upon hearing this, Scully sub consciously dropped her eyes from his 
while he continued.  
  
"That history you keep saying kept you two apart...distant.... you need 
to either put this to rest once and for all or make up and get your friend 
back.   Your choice, but I'll warn you, the first option hasn't been 
working too well."   Pulling her chin up, "What do you have to lose?" 
  
Desiring the real ability to get upset with Gerold for bringing this back 
up today of all  days, she couldn't help but feel there was a fair amount 
of truth to his words.   "I promise."  
  
Fearing he had stepped on her toes figuratively, "Dana, I don't mean to 
meddle in your business, but I just want you to be happy.  That's all I've 
ever wanted."  
  
Pulling him closer as the song faded out, she caught sight of Wendy 
dancing in her father's arms.  Remembering her own father's same 
words that Gerold had just spoken from that fateful day she told him 
about joining the FBI, she responded in the only way she could 
remember.  

Under her breath, "I promise, Ahab."  
  
 


[Preamble]


  
Alexandria, Virginia
Fox Mulder's apartment 
Wednesday, July 29  
  
The flow of life marched on, marking its beat with the daily counters of 
sunrises and  sunsets.  Time flowing  and matching an even rate in 
which the days go by.  The purpose of which may never be understood 
but will always be adhered to.  The laws of nature that dictating time 
stops for no one  was of little solace to a pair of hearts that connected 
forever on so many occasions.   The depth of feelings cannot go 
unnoticed, nor ignored.  Even for those that cannot recognize their own 
pains and relate them to the other, they will eventually breakdown.    
  

Journal: FWM 
    
I write only to say this,  
In a syllabic dryness  
As inglorious as I feel:  
Sometime before the drinking time  
For the first time in some weeks  
I heard of you, the casual  
News of a new life, silence  
Of unconfronted feeling  
And maples in the slant sun  
The gay color of decay.  
Was it unforgivable,  
My darling, that you loved me?  
		-J. V. Cunningham  
  
	Almost thirteen months since we parted ways and I find this 
poem while reading a book, bringing back the memories that I can never 
escape.  Memories I don't want to elude.  This time away from each 
other has definitely put a perspective on our partnership.  My only 
hope is ....... I dare not say... I saw you yesterday in the hallway, Scully.  
You're still the beautiful, confident woman that was my partner, my 
friend.  

'I hear of you, the casual.  News of a new life.'

I'm constantly fighting my urge to approach you and start up a 
conversation, but am hopelessly lost as to what we might talk about.  
We used to talk for hours in our travels.  I suddenly realized, we weren't 
really saying anything.  
  
  
**************  
  
  
A year and a half had passed since the initial re-structuring, just past a 
year since they had decided to put a little distance between themselves.  
The mutual conclusion to let time heal some wounds and to let time 
decide for them if what they had was beyond that of a professional 
existence.   Life was moving on and for all intense purposes had left   
them behind. The time spent apart was alarmingly easy.  Not working 
together had not only put a distance between them, but the work 
enveloped their thoughts into other cases and problems.    
  
Mulder had since been delegated the number two position in the I.S.U. 
profiling machine.  He was called in to consult on a vast array of cases 
and for the most part worked alone.  His reputation garnered him a 
certain amount of respect as well as disdain.  No one wanted to work 
with him in particular, just as he didn't want to be tied down to another   
partner.  He knew there would never be another partner that could keep 
up with him like  Scully had and the upper management knew it as well.  
  
Mulder had his usual successes along with his usual problems. Without 
a counter balance though, he found himself on the end of a few 
arguments with his superiors like his earlier days before the X-files. 
Mulder had been ordered to even seek the help of Dr. Karen Kosseff 
with the Employee Assistance Program after one harrowing case.  
Hastings had given the order, not only as his boss, but as a friend.  He 
went a few times, answered the questions based on what he thought 
she wanted to hear and trudged on.  
  
It was rare when they saw each other, even though they worked in the 
same building.  It was, however,  inevitable that they bumped into the 
other once in a while.  The occasions were spent by one or the other 
keeping a wide berth of the other.   Neither wanted to stir up old 
wounds and regress to the point of assigning blame.  After a point of 
time, they returned to a silent acknowledgment of each other.  Few 
words were spoken, but few words were ever needed.  
  
Mulder heard, while in the breakroom one day, that she had begun 
dating again in earnest.  She was even socializing with other agents on a 
regular basis.  Picking up and carrying on with a normal life.  He was 
happy that she was finally being treated with the respect she deserved, 
but selfishly despondent that he wasn't apart of that life.   
  
  
Giant Foodway  
Saturday, August 2  
4:32 PM  
  
Saturday afternoons were a time that Mulder usually set out to 
accomplish those mundane tasks that were required for living.   His 
laundry, a little shopping and usually cleaning up the apartment.  As he 
rolled his cart through the busy supermarket he randomly picked up 
items he thought he might need.  
  
This was a practical side that few ever saw, but was required for living.  
Shower gel here, a frozen dinner there, whatever he thought looked 
good.  Remembering a tip that Scully had once told him, he always 
made sure he ate before he went insuring he wouldn't buy too many 
impulse items that he would never need or eat.  

Catching himself as the time went on, thoughts of Scully were 
increasingly pleasant, not of the last few months they had spent adrift.  
  
Rounding the frozen food cases Mulder stared aimlessly along the 
shelves at the assorted frozen meals.  Opening the door to one case, he 
selected a brand he knew was safe and placed it in the cart.  Looking up 
the aisle, he huffed in frustration at the crowd and U-turned his cart 
around to escape to the checkout lanes.  
  
Completing the U-turn, he failed to notice the lady directly behind him 
not paying any particular attention to the man in front of her.  A crash 
of the carts followed by the automatic apologies by two strangers 
produced a confusing staredown.  
  
"Fox?"  
  
"Mrs. Scully?"  
  
Upon recognition of each other, Margaret Scully cautiously stepped 
forward.  "It's been so long Fox.  Where are you keeping yourself these 
days?"  
  
Mulder was not sure what Scully might have told her mother about the 
demise of their relationship, but it didn't seem to faze Margaret one 
way or the other. The eldest Scully had held on to her youthful 
appearance that defied her age.  Looking into her blue eyes with deep 
brown and auburn hair, he saw the mold in which Dana was born from.  
  
"I've been around........ you look well."  He said not wanting to 
elaborate.  
  
"Staying out of trouble, I hope?"  
  
"Trying my best."    
  
The conversation was forced and heavy.  Even Mrs. Scully and him had 
history together,  and not particularly good history at that. 
Unfortunately, the only times he had contact with her was usually when 
Scully was in a hospital or in some kind of trouble.    
  
"You?  How are you doing, Mrs. Scully?"  
  
"I'm doing well, Fox....."  
  
Sensing his uneasiness and the question she so desperately wanted to 
ask, Margaret dismissed her own natural instincts to stay out of her 
daughter's business.  

Dropping into a more serious tone. "Fox....... I know you and Dana had 
some problems after they split you guys up, but I know she misses you a 
lot."  
  
Thoughts of his own withdrawal symptoms surfaced to his mind as he 
reflected on this piece of information.  "I know..... I miss her too, Mrs. 
Scully."  
  
Mulder mused on the thought and of how well Mrs. Scully really did 
know her daughter. Desperate to change the subject, "What are you 
doing this far south?"  
  
"Oh, my church is having a special dinner tonight and I'm just picking 
up a few items."  
  
"I didn't know you went to church in Alexandria?"  
  
"Yes, it's been our family church for a long time. Once we settled in the 
area, we found  this one we really liked.  I can't get down as much as I 
like, but I know Dana visits regularly since she lives a little closer."  
  
The conversation came to an uncomfortable halt.  Both unsure on how 
to proceed.  Margaret put her hand on Mulder's forearm.  "It was good 
to see you again, Fox."  
  
Mulder clasped his hand over hers.  "You too, Mrs. Scully.  Take care."  
  
  
  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Thursday, August 9  
VCS Bullpen  
  
  
Another side affect of being in the Bureau mainstream was that 
Mulder's theories often were made more public, especially when they 
seemed to be a little 'out there.'  Hanging up the phone, Mulder sat there 
remembering that day about six months ago when he exited an elevator 
and overheard a group of agents replaying the latest story on 'Spooky.'    
He wouldn't have paid too much attention if he hadn't of overheard the 
mention of the 'Spooky Assistance Program.'  The fact that one of the 
members of this little group was Dana Scully almost made him 
physically ill.  She wasn't laughing, but in his eyes she was a party to 
the conversation.  
  
When Mulder had looked up from his file to see the group had just 
recognized his presence, the only thing he could see was Scully's face 
turning red in embarrassment.  Mulder smirked to the group, put his 
head back down and kept on walking to wherever he had originally 
planned to go.   
  
Fingering his computer keyboard this morning he continued with his 
earlier thoughts.   The phone call that he had received that morning was 
another offer to head up Syracuse University's  Criminal Justice 
Department.  

It would get him out of profiling.  

It would get him out of Washington. 

Away from the politics of the Bureau.  

Away from Scully.  

There was nothing left for him here.  Jan would understand and support 
him.  
  
 ----
  

To Assistant Director Walter Skinner,  
  
I, Special Agent Fox William Mulder,  hereby resign effectively two   
weeks from the day this letter is tendered.  I wish to thank the Bureau 
for its years of  employment and opportunities.  
					  
                                                    Fox Mulder  
  

----



Hitting the button to send the letter to the laser printer that was shared 
by most of the bullpen, he failed to take note that Dana Scully had just 
entered the copy room and was already standing there waiting for a 
document of hers to print as well.  
  
After roughly counting the pages of her document to make sure all of it 
was there, she turned to walk back to her desk when she heard another 
page spit out at the last minute.  Without looking she blindly took it and 
added it to one of her own.    
  
Mulder arrived just as Scully had rounded the corner out of sight.  He 
was perplexed to find his letter not waiting there.  He went back to his 
desk, repeated the proper keystrokes and headed back.  
  
Sitting down to put her case file report together in order, it didn't take 
long for her to spot the erroneous page with the words on them she 
thought she would never see or hear in her life.  
  
Mulder took the letter, sealed it in an envelope and tucked it in the back 
part of his top drawer, under some other non-essential items, just like 
his life.  He wasn't sure he wanted to take the position yet, but he 
wanted to be prepared in case.    
  
*************  
  
Reading the letter of resignation, Scully realized this would be the final 
break. She had been contacted last week by the Syracuse University 
who had been searching for a new department head.  They had been 
referred to her, through Skinner, as to the caliber of talent Mulder 
possessed.  She supplied them with the information they wanted 
truthfully without malice. It was not until the letter sat in front of her 
that the thought of Mulder actually leaving the Bureau crossed her 
mind.		  
  
Getting up from her desk, she headed for Mulder.  Tugging on his 
shoulder, she whispered into his ear.  "Right now, Mulder.  Conference 
Room 3."  
  
Preparing to face the onslaught of another accusation, he reluctantly 
followed her to Room #3 and closed the door to the room behind them.  
  
"What's this about, Scully?"  
  
Turning to face him, frustrated.  "It's about you quitting.  It's about the 
last year and a half.  It's about why we can't stand to be in the same 
room together anymore..........it's about everything, damnit!"  
  
"What makes you think I'm quitting?"  
  
"If it's true, does it matter?"  Yet another stare down ensued as the two 
struggled for the upper hand.  
  
In defeat with the knowledge she had been tipped off, Mulder looked 
down at the conference table outlining the some imaginary circle on its 
surface.  

Looking back up,  "What do you care, anyhow?   I thought you were 
glad to have 'Spooky' out of your life, finally."  
  
After a moment of quiet consideration of what was finally laid out in 
front of them,  Mulder started for the door, but didn't quite make it.  
Scully's small hand captured his arm turning him back towards her 
protesting his early departure.  

"Mulder, I know we've had our problems..... but please just hear me 
out."  
  
Exasperated, Mulder could only laugh.  "After all this time....I think it's 
best that we continue as we have..... it seems to be working for you."  
  
Ignoring his implication, "Mulder, we had a bond once.  A bond of 
friendship as well as a partnership...... I just don't want.......  if you never 
walked through those doors again.......it would be a loss to the Bureau... 
as well as to me."  
  
Mulder drew in a shuddery breath and exhaled in equal volume 
remembering those same words that had come from her lips after the 
first time the X-Files were shut down.  The plea of tempered honesty 
struck him in his heart.  Closing his eyes he memorized that moment in 
time.  
  
"I fear I lost you a long time ago, Scully."    
  
  
*************  
  
Journal:  DKS  
  
How fast can a year and a half go by?  It seems like only yesterday I was 
sitting in Skinner's office listening to my new orders.  Journal, I know 
over the past few weeks I've been writing more frequently about a 
subject that never seems to die, but I now wonder if there isn't a reason.  
Today, I saw the reason.  

What if I hadn't seen that letter of resignation from Mulder?  Would I 
have had the guts to approach him..... to keep my promise to Gerold?  
Or did I need it as an excuse?   

I have never been one to leave unfinished business.  My meticulous 
ways garnered me an outstanding education that has served me well and 
professionally, my diligence pays off everyday.  But....... I have 
unfinished business with Mulder.  

I don't even know how to act around him or say what I want to.  We 
went about our lives pretending to forgive and forget, but it has 
invariably created those things left undone that I cannot allow.  Will not 
allow.  I miss my friend.  I miss him more than I ever felt I could or 
would have and this is what confuses me the most.    

I am the sojourner in my life, the matter of fact warrior that carries 
on in the face of whatever comes my way.  Reluctant to accept others 
for help, but realizing once in a while I need others to keep me going.  
This has never been more evident since Melissa was killed.  She would 
sit and listen.  Argue if needed and championed for me when I made a 
decision for me instead of for others.  What would she say now?  
I'm listening Missy.     
  
  
*************    
  
  
  
Friday, August 10  
Parking Garage  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
8:45 AM  
  
  
After recovering from a monstrous traffic jam on the beltway on Friday 
morning,  Mulder entered the elevator in the parking garage to make the 
trip up to the fourth floor.  As the doors were closing, he heard a shrill 
voice call out for him to hold the elevator.  Acting on pure instinct he 
jammed his hand in between the doors to kick the sensor-plate back and 
re-open the doors.   Coming from around the corner he could hear the 
clip-clop sound of a woman running for the elevator.  He was not 
prepared to see her, especially in her condition.  
  
"Thanks," she said before looking up to see who had been gracious 
enough to hold the door.    
   
As they met each others gaze, a stunned silence emanated while the 
whine of the cables and ballasts went to work, elevating them to their 
floor.   The small bandage above her left eye was holding sterile sutures 
in place. After holding their stare for a few seconds more all Mulder 
could utter was an almost whispered, "You're welcome, Scully."     
  
Noticing the puffy yellowish tinge around her injury as well, Mulder 
wasn't going to stop at just a pleasantry today.  "Jesus, Scully.  What 
the hell happened to you?"  
  
Looking up in surprise from her corner of the elevator, Scully explained 
how Larry and her apprehended a suspect the previous afternoon.  A 
suspect that had caught them by surprise.  "Don't worry, Mulder.  He 
went from an alto to a soprano very quickly."  
  
Remembering Scully's deft skills at hand to hand combat, he was certain 
she got the better end of the deal.  "I'll bet he did."   Taking a closer 
look at her face, "You sure you're ok?"  
  
The mention of his concern for her thrust them back into the roles they 
now played, as an eerie sense of familiarity set in and the air of 
awkwardness pervaded once more. 
 
Sliding into opposite corners of the elevator, they continued to hold 
each others stare.   
  
Finally, Scully dipped her head down to study the floor.  In a low, 
defiant voice, "Mulder....I can't....WE can't keep going on like this."     
  
Glancing upwards to catch his reaction, he quickly looked away with the 
distinct look of regret and guilt etched all over his face.  He too had 
wondered when would be enough.  The strings of each other's hearts  
weighing heavy on their souls.  Redemption screaming for reconciliation 
at the unfairness of  their lives.  
  
When the door opened with an antiseptic 'ding' to signify their exit, 
both occupants took  another look at each other.  However, this look 
was different.  The look of defiance was gone, replaced with a painfully 
apologetic look that was overwhelming.  The closing doors prompted 
Mulder to again jab his hand at it to prevent the doors from closing.    
Turning around to address her, he looked at her with determination.  

"I know Scully, I know."   Then he was gone.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
It was Scully's turn to replay the events of the day about six months 
ago.  She was standing there listening to Agent Rimler spout off the 
latest story about Mulder when she heard the elevator doors open.  
Standing there with the most sincere look of hurt on his face was 
Mulder.  She had been walking by with Larry when she heard 
Mulder's name mentioned.  

Curious to hear news of him, she should have known it was going to 
turn into a 'Spooky' bashing party.  Watching herself through Mulder's 
eyes and what he must have been thinking, Scully winced at the thought 
every time.  It was a form of self torture she allowed herself every time 
she thought about what she and Mulder had lost.  Something so good 
and healthy.... all to be thrown away by few short words and an inability 
to speak with their hearts.  
  
Holding on to what she believed in her heart, Scully was suddenly and 
painfully aware that her life was indeed missing something.... someone.  
She missed their time together, their constant battles of wit.  Most of all 
she missed her friend.  The short conversation in the elevator as well as 
the one the day before had resurfaced the memories of her time with 
Mulder to an acute level.  Her current partner was good, but the fact 
that he was not Mulder was reflected in some facet every day.  He was a 
little too shy, was sometimes prone to giving in too soon, and didn't 
give her room to operate independently, if the case dictated so.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Mulder walked to his desk Friday after a section meeting and noticed 
his picture of Sam was turned down.  Giving it little thought, he 
straightened it to find a post-it note with a message on it in red ink, her 
distinctive cursive as sharp as he remembered.   
		  
               M,  
                    My place, tomorrow night, dinner, 7:00 sharp. Please.  
                                                              -S  
  
Mulder instantly looked up to see Scully talking with two other agents 
and Agent Holland in the corner.  As if on cue, her eyes sought out his 
and it was understood.   Mulder nodded and she went back to her 
engrossing conversation.  
  
After Phoebe and a few other painful relationships, he was wary to let 
people into his heart.  Showing that side had always been unfulfilling 
and was usually associated with pain.  Why should this have been any 
different?  

Because Scully was different, she had been since day one.  
  
  
**************  
  
Journal: FWM  
  
  
The elevator had become my symbol for life.  Up and down, 
constantly opening itself up to others and ferrying them along the way.  
I was the permanent transient, falling into other people's lives taking 
them for rides at the same time being rode myself, not knowing when 
the next stop would come.    

Elevators aren't all that bad, I realized today.  It was because of 
an elevator  that Scully and I were able to span a chasm that has lasted 
well over a year.  Seeing her again after our conversation in the 
conference room the other day made it clear that we need to   
settle our differences, no matter what it takes.
    
I didn't see the hurt in her eyes that has haunted me since that 
night in the hospital.  I saw her compassion again, her goodness, the 
Scully I always knew and yes, loved.  She invited me to dinner and I 
can't stop thinking about it.  I hope this isn't the 'kiss-off,' the final 
break, but knowing Scully she is hurting just like me. I say this not out   
of arrogance or ego, it comes with the knowledge of her mother's words 
and the look on her face.  

The tempered optimism I felt for the rest of the day was enhanced by 
the knowledge I will spend  more time with her.  If only for a few 
minutes, I'll make it last a lifetime if I have to, aware in the knowledge 
that there may be too much for us to overcome if we are to go forward.  
   
  
  
***************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland  
Scully's Apartment  
Saturday, August 11   
  

Saturday evening approached with a deliberate speed that both knew 
would create an anticipation between them.   Scully was not one to go 
out on a limb, but something reached out from behind her confines and 
urged her to make the first move. The promise to Gerold and Wendy 
along with the lesson learned of life being too short was not going   
to be lost again.  She had tried to put this out of her mind and move on, 
but her heart wouldn't let her.  
  
As angry at what had happened, she knew Mulder was not the only one 
to blame.  She had unwillingly participated in the destruction of  a bond 
that she once thought was unbreakable.  She didn't know what had 
happened.  One day they were in the old office thinking of fond 
memories and the next thing she knew, she couldn't remember their last   
conversation without an argument.  
  
As he finished parking in front of her apartment building, Mulder 
stepped out of his car and looked up into the night sky.  Taking in the 
sight of stars so incredibly far away, he thought about a thousand other 
Saturday nights he had spent.  Alone, solitary.  The night sky of 
Syracuse would reflect those same stars and the empty feeling in 
his gut told him it would also reflect the same loneliness.  It was a warm 
evening. Fall was approaching faster than he could remember and the 
smoky smell of someone who had just rediscovered their outdoor grill 
blanketed the neighborhood in a reflective aroma.   
  
He strode to the front of the building and the door opened up to reveal 
Agent Holland  leaving. "Mulder, right....Fox Mulder?"   
  
Slightly annoyed at his first name, "Yes, that's right."  
  
"It's so good to finally meet you, Dana doesn't go a week without telling 
me some of the wild stuff you guys went through."    
  
Mulder immediately winced at the thought of her recanting her own 
'Spooky' stories.  "Nice to meet you, Agent Holland, is it?"  
  
"Holland, Larry Holland."  

Holland shook his hand enthusiastically which further ingratiated him 
into Mulder's approval.  'Well mannered and paper trained. I bet Scully 
sure likes you,' Mulder thought to himself.  
  
"Well, Holland, it was nice to meet you, Scully invited me over for 
dinner and ....."  
  
A smile formed on Holland's lips that Mulder could not quite place,  
"Goodnight Agent Mulder, enjoy your dinner."  
  
"Thanks, I will"  With that Mulder shook his head, not knowing what to 
make of the last few minutes.  
  
Mulder approached her door in a casual manner that reflected his 
wardrobe.  Jeans, T-shirt and black V-neck sweater donned, he was 
ready to face this new aspect of his relationship with Scully, if there 
were to be one, he reminded himself.  Knocking on the door, he 
patiently wondered if he was on the same page with her. Were they 
ever?  
  
"Come on in."  Answering the door in equally casual attire he was 
relieved to see a small indication of a smile, although her tone was low 
and she had avoided his eyes.    
  
"Thanks, I thought this might be cliche, but I figured a bottle of wine 
was the least I could do.  I mean....I've heard from a good source I've 
brought you wine before."  
  
Mulder eyed the kitchen behind her and inhaled briefly trying to tell 
what was going to be served.   Scully backed away and brought the 
wine to the table and started fishing for a corkscrew.  Finding one and 
handing it to Mulder,  "Open it and we'll be ready."  
  
The meal was elegant and simple.  One that defied to reveal itself as 
store bought or homemade. They both ate in relative silence as they 
both were thinking about what was to come.  Mulder kept praising 
Scully for the home-cooked meal, avoiding at all costs the impending 
moments that lay ahead.  Making small talk of news and current events 
at the Bureau was forced and uncomfortable.  It became painfully  
obvious that it would be difficult to slip back into their once well 
defined roles.  
  
In the disquieting silence that drew out, Mulder stole glances at her 
when he thought she wasn't looking.  Even after seeing her twice this 
week, he was struck with the undeniable sensation of disbelief of being 
in her presence again.  

She had aged well for a woman her age, keeping a youthful face free of 
obvious wrinkles except for a few that crept slightly next to her eyes. 
`Probably a result of raising her eyebrow at me one too many times,' 
Mulder mused. 

As she had in the later years of their partnership, she had kept her hair 
highlighted with its natural color intensified.   Watching her pick up her 
glass of wine, he studied her hands.  Small and lithe, they had also kept 
a youthful but worn appearance probably due to the high maintenance 
that went into her valuable tools on a daily basis.  Her nails  long   
enough to be feminine, just short enough to be practical and free of 
color.  As in the habit of most single men, the glaring absence of jewelry 
on a particular finger prompted him to speculate.  
  
Sitting there, eating at a steady pace, the thoughts of Scully still being 
single intrigued him. It was the thoughts of how this woman had made it 
to her age, beautiful and as appealing a candidate for any man, without 
being married.  She wasn't like him.  Alone, aloof, a solitary individual, 
was she?  What had she given up for her career?  For him?  Did she 
want this kind of life?  Was she happy being single and unattached?  
Was she unattached?  His curiosity soon got the best of him.  
  
"So, what's a nice girl like you doing all alone on a Saturday night?"  
  
Without skipping a beat.  "Who said I was alone?  You're here aren't 
you?"  
  
"You know what I mean, Scully.   I heard at work you're dating some 
doctor from Georgetown Medical Center."  
  
Surprised at this latest information, "Ummm...no?  Not that I know of.  
You wouldn't happen to know of a cute doctor at G.M.C., would you?"  
She said with a curious smirk.  
  
Feeling slightly embarrassed and relieved she had chosen to joke about 
it,  "Sorry."  
  
"I would think by now, Mulder, you would have stopped believing 
everything you hear....through the grapevine, that is."  
  
Fearing he might step into something he wasn't ready to hear, he 
dropped the subject.  
  
After helping her clear the table he moved to the couch where she had 
asked him to join her.  She flipped the light off in the kitchen and sat 
down on the other side.  An eerie feeling of deja-vu was dissipated by 
the fact that she was the one who instigated this meeting.  She felt as if 
the next few minutes were about to be some of the most important   
one's of her life.  
  
A few moments of quiet observance later, Scully was silently amused at 
how they had arrived at such a point.  

"So...are you as thoroughly uncomfortable as I am?"  
  
The direct approach was always her favorite, but it still seemed to be a 
tad out of character, even for her.  "You could say that."  
  
"Well, maybe that's a good sign."  
  
"Maybe for you, Scully.  I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."  
  
Putting his inherent fears aside, Scully forged on.  "I asked you to come 
here tonight so we could.... see if it was possible to..."   

Finally getting it out, "I can't go on like this anymore... we can't go on 
like this.."  
  
Hopeful and relieved, Mulder looked up to see her reflection.  "We?"  
  
"I'm tired of walking around the office wondering if I'll see you..... or if 
we'll work a case together... this is not healthy..... for either of us."  
  
Musing over her words, they continued to stare into each other looking 
for a release.  Looking for forgiveness, salvation...... that first meeting in 
the basement all those years ago.   
  
"Mulder....." Her voice was low and serious.  
  
Sitting back on the couch, she clutched a pillow in her lap.  A low 
humming sound from the tension could not only be heard, but felt.  
  
"Why do you want to go to Syracuse?"  The question was softly asked 
and it startled Mulder that she knew of his offer.  
  
"Uhh.......I  honestly haven't decided to take the position yet."  
  
Surprising him once more, "I saw..... accidentally picked up your 
resignation letter the other day while waiting by the printer in the copy 
room."  
  
Fitting the pieces together in his mind he thought over his answer 
carefully.  "I didn't submit it yet."  
  
Finding the words to make her understand his feelings, he continued.  "I 
just... What do I have left here for me, Scully? Profiling is slowly eating 
away at me, Samantha was a hopeless quest,  I don't even have...."  He 
trailed his answer off, not wanting to finish the thought out loud.  
  
Scully didn't need for him to finish the sentence.  The fact the word 'you' 
hadn't been said at all spoke even louder than if he had of screamed it.   
  
"Mulder.....what happened to us?"  She looked into his eyes with a 
deep sense of regret and curiosity.  Unable to speak anymore she 
looked down to her lap and fidgeted with the pillow in her hands.  
  
Starting out in barely a whisper, his voice grew louder as the intensity 
of his words hit the intended target.  "I don't know..what happened 
Scully..................one day we were friends, partners...... and then one 
day.....it seems that we weren't.   Some days, I didn't know who you 
were.... I didn't even know who I was..."    
  
"But you do now?"  
  
"I thought I did," he continued. "But, I've learned.....over the last 
year..... that I don't have all the answers.  I used to think I did .... or at 
the very least I could get them."   
 
Mulder looked away in hopes he could retrace the steps that had led 
them to where they had come to.  
  
"That night...."   That late night visit only once spoken of, now fell in 
sharp relief of this conversation.  It had been the warning signal both 
had errantly ignored.  Willfully and systematically pushed aside in 
irrational fear of confronting something that had been ignored for  
far too long.
  
Mulder shifted in his seat showing his uncomfortability with the 
question.  Shaking his head, he didn't have an answer to offer her.  
  
"You were afraid we were growing apart?"  It was asked more as a 
rhetorical question than with a genuine sense of curiosity.  Already 
knowing his answer as well as she did her own led her to say it with 
authority.  
  
He looked up from his dipped head to see the truth in her eyes. Unable 
to sheild it if had wanted to, he returned the perceptive expression that 
told her she was correct. 

"Weren't we?"  
  
"Other than partners.... what were we, Mulder?"  Scully asked in a 
probing whisper.  
  
Shrugging in the way Mulder would normally gesture in response to 
one of her rational theories that didn't quite fit his fantastic one, "I think 
at one point we were friends......we were good friends........though 
separate in our own ways."  
  
"So close, yet so far apart?  All those years?"  

Considering his words a few seconds longer,  "I think we were more 
than that, Mulder."  Her tone was inquisitive, without accusation.  
  
"Scully, you know........I've never had much success with my 
relationships."   
 
Smiling to hide his sincerity,  "Hell, it took me five years to finally get 
around to telling you what you meant to me the first time."  
  
"Meant?"  His use of the past tense inspired her question.  
  
Looking back to her.  "Mean."  
  
"Then why couldn't we find the time to......  Mulder...you were more 
than my partner...you were my best friend... my only true friend....  I felt 
like you abandoned me."  
  
Flashing back some resentment he was unexpectedly afraid.  Afraid that 
this meeting really hadn't been a good idea.  "Abandoned?  You felt 
abandoned?"     
  
Her own deep feelings surfacing, "Yes... I did.... not because we were 
split up... but because you shut me out."  
  
Snorting in disbelief, he pinned her with a piercing stare that struck 
deeply inside her. His voice lowered, "Well, I must have learned it from 
the best."  
  
"What..."  The question barely left her mouth before Mulder was 
pouncing back.  The emotions finally streaming out faster than he could 
control them.
  
"Name me one time... just one time..in all our years together when you 
opened up to me,  Scully, one time where you would let me in ..."  
  
The question hanging dangerously in the air, Scully searched her own 
database of the years with Mulder, looking for a time when she had 
willingly opened herself to him as he had done so many times.  She was 
well aware he wore his heart on his sleeve, always keeping his emotions 
close to the surface.  As much as he was able to, Scully was never 
prepared to do that, at least not to him.  
  
His voice was still raised, just below yelling.  "For Christ's sake, Scully.  
Do you  know what it was like?  Do you?   To watch the only person.... 
the most important person..... the only one you ever gave a damn about 
dying, knowing she didn't want to talk about it .... especially with you.."

Standing up he started to pace in front of her fireplace. "Scully, you 
were MY only friend...the only one I've ever trusted and all you ever did 
was shut ME out.  Time and time again."  

His voice breaking,   "The day we found out you were in remission.... I 
couldn't even stand to be in your room, because I felt like such an 
outsider....."  
  
An unfamiliar sense of discomfort was washing over her, yet at the 
same time she was hearing all those things she knew were true, but 
could never admit to herself.  
  
Mulder was not holding back.   He knew with certainty that what he 
was saying to her was with the distinct purpose of drawing out his own 
pain, inconsiderate of her own feelings.  
  
"After your abduction you would never let me help you...... your 
sister.... then your cancer....Emily, you just wanted .... you said you just 
wanted to be alone..... you wouldn't let me in.  Do you have any idea 
how much that hurt?"  

Putting up his hands in the universal sign that meant surrender, he 
signaled it for his own benefit rather than hers.  "There were just so 
many times when I felt you close, but then you would push away."
 
Beyond any point of speech and with her mouth gaping at what Mulder 
had laid out before her, Scully had no idea how to respond.  No idea at 
all.

Taking in a deep breath, Mulder tried to calm himself.  "I just want to 
know one thing.... then I'll be gone, because this is the only thing I've 
ever been really curious about."  
  
Looking slightly like a dazed boxer who was suddenly weak in the 
knees, Scully's eyes widened at the prospect of his most burning 
question.  
  
Coming to kneel directly in front of her, he used his eyes to bore a 
hole deep into her own. To mark her.  To mark this moment as his 
moment of truth.  The swirling pools of hazel mixed with tears that had 
formed and threatened to spill only at the, as of yet, unspoken pain.   
  
In a calmer, more sedate voice, Mulder asked.  "Was it such a crime.... 
was it so wrong...."  

His own tears now spilling, he asked one more time.  "Was is it so 
wrong for me to love you?"  
  
Dropping her steady gaze from his, Scully let her own tears fall as she 
shook her head back and forth.  "I had no idea..."  
  
Incredulously, "No idea about how I felt about you?"  
  
"No...... no idea you would still feel this way... this strongly..."  
  
Feeling the familiar sting, as if sucker punched, Mulder felt his world 
implode.

"And I guess that's why we failed before..."  Standing back up to his full 
height, Mulder looked at her one last time before picking up his coat 
and heading for the door.  

"So long, Scully."  Mulder resigned himself to the fact Scully would join 
the short list of women that had broken his heart.  Along side, Phoebe, 
Diana, and another, too painful to want to remember.
  
Vaguely aware of his intentions, Scully suddenly realized he was falling 
back to his old standby.  When all else fails, run.   When it gets to be 
too much, hide.  When there is something to be risked, flee.  Sniffling 
her nose she asked the question with a serious tone of irritation.  
"Where are you going?"  
  
Frustrated by her asking, "There's nowhere else to go, Scully.  I'm going 
back to my life and I'm leaving you to yours."  
  
The presumptuous and arrogant nature of him coming in and unloading 
his burdens and not allowing her the same courtesy, flared her raw 
anger.  This whole night was her idea and she wasn't going to let this go 
without having her say.   Her deepest frustrations led her off the couch 
and in his way of the front door.  
  
"So, you still have this routine down pat, I see.  When all else fails, just 
run away... feel sorry for yourself.  How much are you going to drink 
tonight?"  

Mulder's eyes had been everywhere but on hers until that final blow.  
"You've had your say and damnit ... now I'm going to have mine."  
  
"I didn't spend a year away from you without learning a few things 
myself."  

All five feet and three inches of her pounded  her finger in to his chest 
forcing him back to the living room area.  Watching him  resume his 
place on the couch, she thought she detected a real sense of fear in 
Mulder.  

Starting in a soft tone, she began.  "First of all, I'll say it.   I'm sorry, 
Mulder.  I'm sorry I held out ..... but I had my reasons.   It may not have 
always been a conscious decision on my part, but yes.. I did hold out 
on you...."  
  
Mulder's mouth agape that she was admitting it, his eyes pleaded for 
the answer he knew his heart didn't want to hear.  
  
He voice crescendoing, "Maybe.. just maybe.. I thought you had 
enough of me already.  Maybe I wasn't quite ready to hand over every 
part of my life to you."   Seeing the thoroughly confused look on his 
face she knew he was lost.  
  
"Mulder, you can be so obsessed and focused on certain things... it's 
scary.... you scared me so many times with it.  I didn't want to let you 
in, because I didn't want to be the focus of you or .... your guilt.   You 
tell me, Mulder.  What would you have done if I had died of cancer?"  
  
Now he was the one unable to meet her penetrating gaze, Mulder 
mumbled his answer. "I would have died too."  
  
"You see?  I couldn't confide in you with everything.  I had to find my 
own truths, give meaning to my own needs....I... I couldn't give you that 
much.... not when you had everything else." 

"It was so hard to be your friend as well as your partner.  I was never 
quite sure who I was to you."
  
His senses dulled by anger and wonderment, Mulder spoke without 
forethought.  "I see...so you would rather go out and fuck some no-
name loser instead of trying to find out?"  
  
Before she could stop herself or fight the urge to, her right hand 
impacted across  his face with a loud smack denoting the force of which 
had brought her anger to a boil.    
  
Just staring at each other now, neither one could decide at first who was 
more surprised at the action.  The look of abject horror at her own 
actions settled the dispute immediately.  
  
"Oh, Mulder?  I .. I .."  She dropped to her knees in front of him to 
examine the damage she had caused.  

He covered his face with his hands and leaned back into the couch, 
ashamed to have made such a crude insinuation.  
  
Pushing her hands back, "No...no...I deserved that one.  That was pretty 
far out of line....even for me."  
  
Once more the air in the room had been brought to levels of extreme 
tension as well as catharsis.  Rolling her head around on her shoulders, 
Scully released a breath as she reclined onto the back of her legs.  
Refusing to look at him she wanted to clear the air for good about Ed  
Jerse.  "For the record, Mulder...... I never slept with him.  He took the 
couch that night...."  
  
"Record or not... it was none of my business anyway...  I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't you see, Mulder....it was your business.... I lied to you.  
Maybe that whole experience wasn't directly about you, but in a way I 
was trying to escape who I was.... and what was happening to me at 
that time."  
  
Mulder remembered his token gift of flowers to her at the hospital that 
day.  Scully had only been back to work for a few days before she had 
decided to have some tests run confirming her suspicions since the 
encounter with Leonard Betts.  Suspicions that she had been running 
away from and into the arms of some tattooed maniac who just 
happened to be there and listen.  
  
Standing back up he went to the mantle above the fireplace and stared 
at the trinkets and bobbles that adorned its wooden surface.  His voice 
was now tender and inquisitive.  Not full of the anguish and resentment 
of a few minutes earlier.   

"Why now Scully?  Why after all this time?  I thought you had moved 
on."  
  
Scully was put on the spot a little at the question.  She had a good idea 
what he was asking for,  but didn't quite know how to express it.  
  
"Have you?   Have you..... moved on Mulder?"  She said over her 
shoulder to him.  
  
Turning back around to face her again he hadn't prepared to have his 
own question asked of himself.  
  
"Mulder, I tried...... God knows I tried....I'm sure you did too, but I 
don't think it's possible to move on from some things.  I think.... maybe 
we both thought that if we didn't have each other around to remind us 
of what we had lost......we could go on ..... we could forget each 
other..."  
 
"In a way... I had hoped you could get past these feelings of 
responsibility for me..... and how they used me to hurt you."
 
Mulder felt his stomach drop at the idea of forgetting her  "I could never 
forget you, Scully."    
  
Mulder sat down next to her.   Leaning forwards with his elbows on his 
knees, he buried his face in his hands.

Just loud enough for her to hear, "Would it be too late to say I'm 
sorry?"  
  
Scully slowly stroked the length of his back. Scully allowed her eyes to 
close as she answered him.  "No Mulder.... it will never be too late..... 
never for you."  

Those three words would carry much more meaning years from now, 
but tonight they spoke of the promise and eternal hope that had always 
existed between them.  
  
Surprising her, Mulder took her hand away and pulled her into a 
fierce embrace.   "I'm sorry, Scully."  Pressed together for minutes on 
end, they relished their reunion.  Feeling a bit uncomfortable at the 
strange angle she had to reach for, Scully moved into his lap sideways 
and rubbed his back remembering how good it felt to be held by him 
again.    
  
Hearing him sniff, she thought he was crying.  Tightening his hold on 
her, she felt his chest constrict in an effort to quell his emotions. "I'm 
sorry too, Mulder...."  
  
"I've missed you so much, Scully......... I couldn't bear to lose you too.... 
not after..."  
  
"I know, I know."  The tears falling unashamedly now, she whispered 
into his shoulder.  

"And Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah?"  He leaned back to look at her.  
  
With her eyes just as full as his, Scully tried so hard to smile through 
her quivering chin.  "It was not wrong of you to love me.... not 
considering how much I loved you."  
  
Holding her face in his hands, Mulder leaned in and kissed her 
forehead.  It was their way of showing the other how much they meant 
to each other, saved for occasions where words just wouldn't do.  
Wanting to accentuate the moment further, he leaned down and kissed   
her lips very faintly, then rested them on her cheek in silent admission of 
his need for her.  
  
A sense of reflection settled over the two as they both let out a breath 
that had been held since the first knock on her door that night.   

They spent the next few hours talking, trying to find and rebuild the 
connection that had been lost.  Piecing together events of a year lost 
and times that had changed them both.  
  
"I met your partner, on the way in, Scully.  Quite a looker...isn't he,"  
Mulder asked in a questioning way.  
  
"He was just dropping off the case report for a report.  Just like with 
you, I won't let him hand one in unless I've checked it."  
  
With a look of keen interest, "Are you avoiding the question Agent 
Scully?"    
  
Sighing at his relentless pursuit, "On a strictly professional level, Agent 
Holland is an attractive man.  On a personal level,....lets just say he's not 
my type.... besides, he got married right out of the Academy... he even 
reminds me of my brothers."  Scully's eyes dipped, while feeling a 
strange flush of embarrassment come over her.   She was not used to 
talking about such matters with anyone, much less with Mulder.  
  
"And your type would be.......?" Mulder leered.  
  
Playfully smiling, "Ohh....I kind of have my eye on someone in 
particular.".     
  
Mulder, not wanting to concede the point yet, "Anyone I know?"  
  
"Actually, you do.  You've known him for awhile now."  

Scully smiled shyly, yet confidently chalked this one up in her favor as 
she returned their wine glasses to the kitchen.  She was not always able 
to win these battles of wit, but this one had clearly caught Mulder off 
guard.  
  
  
The evening growing late, he rose to leave and she followed him to the 
door.   He opened the door and looked back.  Scully was again wearing 
a nervous smile that reflected the atmosphere of the evening.    Before 
stepping into the hallway, Mulder took one of her hands and held it 
between them telling her so many things without saying a word.    
  
"I know, Mulder... I missed you too ......."  They stared at each other for 
several seconds longer letting the sentiment linger.    
  
"Mulder, I have no right to ask this of you, but....."  Lowering her eyes 
she fought against her years of self reliance.  
  
"But what, Scully?"  
  
Looking back up into his eyes, "Don't make any decisions just yet 
about leaving the Bureau.  Give it a chance."   

Squeezing his hand on her last word, 'Give 'us' a chance,' she thought to 
herself.     
  
Mulder studied her eyes searching for the source of her meaning.  He 
felt it. "We have a long way to go don't we?"    
  
Pausing for a second to gather her confidence she started.  "As long as 
we go that way together.....  maybe we can never have what we once 
did, but I'm willing to try if you are."  
  
A soft smile of approval tempered with sadness formed on his lips.  He 
nodded in her direction.  "Maybe we can have something better."  
  
Her face softened as the realization hit them both  This time would be 
different.  This time they would be together because they wanted to be, 
not because of work or circumstance.  
  
"If you want... why don't we get together some time this week...away 
from the office.. just you and me.  Let's try to fix what we can."  
  
Halting his weak attempt to ask her out, Scully rescued him. "I would 
like that very much."  
  
"Goodnight, Scully."  Mulder turned away and walked out her door.  
  
"Night, Mulder."  
  

**************  

  
Journal: DKS	  
  
  
In many ways I saw Mulder for the first time tonight.  What prompted 
me to reach out and invite him for dinner might well remain a mystery 
forever, but I'm glad I did.  I realize that I haven't seen him.... really seen 
him in over a year.  Mulder looks a bit older, and a bit worn down.  Still 
the clean-cut man he will always be, I saw a few more worry lines and 
can't stop myself from wondering if they are my fault.  How's that for an 
ego,  Melissa?
 
After he left, I headed for the bathroom to check my own face.  
Not that I'm a vain person, mind you.  I just wanted to see if my face 
bore the results of what I saw on Mulder's face.   Yes, I realize, a year 
has been taken from us both, in more ways than one. He's only been 
gone a couple of hours, but I want more.  I want so desperately to reach   
back and hold onto that day he dropped his key off.  I want to tell him it 
was my fault, take him inside and start over.      
	
Now, a little over a year later we are starting over, secure in the 
knowledge that the time apart was needed.  A radical treatment to a 
cancer that had firmly attached itself to our relationship.  Unable to 
treat by conventional means, we let it feed on itself until it had no more 
room to grow, over time shriveling away.  

It was so long ago, now.  
  
  


[Once Again] 


  
  
Casey's Bar & Grill  
Downtown, Washington D.C.  
Wednesday, August 15  
7:33 PM  
  
After settling down into one of the darkened booths in the back of the 
place, Mulder checked his watch again while he waited for Scully to 
show up.  After deciding to meet for dinner, he had chosen this bar 
knowing it was a place he felt comfortable in and one that he had never 
been to with Scully.  For that matter, he had never been to a lot bars   
with Scully, not that she was the bar hopping type, he thought.     
  
More than a bar, it was a quiet place to grab a bite to eat with some 
peculiar menu items that he knew all too well.  An old jukebox, slightly 
taller than Scully he noted, sat in the back and regularly played tunes 
from his era.   The Who, The Doors, a little Jimmy Paige.  The few 
employees that worked there, knew him as a regular and left him alone   
for the most part.  They had seen him drown too many sorrows, 
especially during the past year or so.    
  
The old place had these wonderful hardwood floors that wouldn't 
disguise anyone making his way around or past 'his' booth.   One 
waitress in particular, Terry, seemed to like him, even calling him by his 
nickname on occasion.  If he had a particularly bad day, once in a while 
she would join him and provide small talk, wondering what this   
handsome man was doing all by himself.  
  
The distinct cadence of her heels on the hardwood floor made Mulder 
smile.  Sliding out of the booth as she arrived, he arose from his side and 
turned to meet her as the old fashioned courtesy was to stand up with a 
woman in your presence, until she was ready to sit down.  
  
Smiling as she recalled his constant and almost unnerving gentlemanly 
ways, Scully put her hand along his arm.  "Hey Mulder, sorry I'm late, 
traffic was bad around Dupont Circle."  
  
Mulder held out his other arm gesturing for her to sit down across from 
him. "Don't worry about it, Dupont is a regular merry-go-round this 
time of day."   
  
Putting her things down in the booth, she sat down and stared at the 
menu set out before her.  "What's good, Mulder?"  
  
Almost caught staring at her while she studied the menu, his sense of 
disbelief at the past few days events were still unsettling.   The reality 
sinking in on Monday when they had stopped to talk and make the 
arrangements for tonight's dinner.  

Out of his trance, "The crab-cakes are good, probably the best south of 
Baltimore."  
  
After reading out a few other choices and listening to him describe the 
fare, she settled for a bread-bowl of soup and a sandwich.  Terry came 
to take the order when she noticed the two had pushed their menus 
aside.   Watching from a distance, Terry herself, couldn't help but notice 
the uneasy way these two acted towards each other.  After spending 
the better part of her adult existence tending bar and waiting tables in 
the joint that shared her surname, she was sure this wasn't a first date.  
The feel was all wrong.  They looked intimate in the way they looked at 
each other, but distant in how their mannerisms played out.  The guy 
she knew as 'Spooky' the FBI Agent was intently focused with this 
woman and not his usual withdrawn self.  Her curiosity, as well a small 
bit of jealousy towards the pretty red-head he was with, made her want 
to know more than she probably should have, but that had never 
stopped her from getting to know her patrons before.   
  
Breaking the quiet mood in the booth, Terry spoke up.  "So who's your 
friend, Spooky?"  
  
A familiar pang of stillness descended on him as he remembered Terry 
and the conversation and occasion long ago that had related his 
nickname to her.  "Terry," he said looking up to her. "This is an 
old friend of mine, Dr. Dana Scully."  His eyes falling back to meet 
Scully's, "We used to work together at the Bureau."  
  
"Well, it's nice to see you're recruiting fellow co-workers for my 
business,"  she said towards Mulder with a wink.  
  
Turning her attention to Scully, "It's also nice to meet another federal 
agent, Dana?"  
  
"Yes, it's Dana."  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Mulder 
shaking his head, mildly amused at the waitress's meddling.  "I was 
Mulder's old partner at the Bureau."  
  
Looking back to Mulder, Terry had a look of impressiveness on her 
face.  "Gee, Spooky, you never told me you worked with such a pretty 
woman.... and a doctor no less."  
  
Rolling his eyes to Terry, it was obvious she was just trying to get 
under his skin a little,  only to liven up the activity of this quiet booth.  
After taking their orders, Terry left the two to the awkwardness again as 
they tried to make the right moves in recovering what was once thought 
lost.    
  
Breaking through the cloak of silence, Scully offered first.  "So, I take it 
you're familiar with this place?"  
  
A sheepish expression, "In a manner of speaking.   I usually come here 
once a week and grab something to eat."  
  
"Terry there seems to know an awful lot about you..... Spooky."  Scully 
playfully voiced.  
  
Shaking his head again at that lost moment in time,  "Long story, short 
memory...anyway, I'm glad you made it here tonight."  
  
Smiling softly in agreement, "I am too."  
  
Taking a sip of his beer, Mulder screwed up his courage once more.  "I 
got to thinking.... about our conversation the other night."  
  
"What have you been thinking?"  The tone of his voice sparked a ray of 
doubt in her mind.
  
"I'm just thinking... if we .... were to move forward..... we would need 
to take measures so that we didn't...."  Feeling like a drunk and 
stumbling man, Mulder took a deep breath.  Everything he wanted to 
say was coming out wrong.
  
Before he could continue, Scully feared the worst.  "You don't want 
this ...do you...... is that what you're trying to say?"  
  
Confused, Mulder wasn't sure what he had said to give her that idea.

"No... no.... not at all.  I'll take anything I can get .... I just want us to be 
able to say anything we feel ..... without the consequences...."

"You feel that was what led to this..... our....problems?"

Following his own edict, he looked her straight in the eye.  "Yes, I do."  
  
Taking her wine glass, she organized her logical thoughts into a 
coherent pattern, trying  to get the words out.  

"Considering this conversation, Mulder.... the fact we're actually talking 
about ..... us... I would say we're headed in the right direction."  

Her eyes locked with his on the last two words wanting to make it clear.  
The road ahead would be perilous, maybe even difficult, but as long as 
they were willing to take the time, a disastrous repeat of the past year 
wouldn't happen again.  
  
The intense feelings of familiarity floated between them as the air grew 
lighter with another stumbling block laid to waste. The meal arrived a 
short time after and gave each the oasis of comfort they desperately 
needed.  

The talk around the table wavered on everything from their current 
cases to bits of family news, but never of their past.  Through mutual 
agreement or apprehension they both knew that facing their past 
would be necessary and also dangerous this soon into the re-
development of what they were so desperately trying to salvage.  
  
An hour or so later, their meals finished, the two sat around talking, 
occasionally laughing and enjoying the night with each other.  
  
"So Bill is standing there on the front porch, waiting for Melissa to 
come home from the prom.  He stood there, just back from college, 
with this pouty look on his face waiting ...."  

A laugh came from Scully he wasn't sure he had ever heard before, but 
was intensely enjoying.   

"And Mom is the one staring at him..... she says.... she says, 'Bill, why 
aren't YOU on a date instead of living vicariously through your sister.'"  

Scully was literally lost in her own amusement unaware that the man 
laughing with her was more amused at the sight of her having such a 
good time, rather than the story about her brother.  
  
"He was always like that?"  Mulder enthusiastically asked.  
  
Recalling Mulder's experiences with her older brother, "When Dad 
was at sea, Bill usually became 'the man of the house.'"  She put up her 
hands to use quotation marks around the reference.  

"And the funny thing is... we never knew who was more pissed off at 
him... Mom, Missy, Charlie or me."  She continued to chuckle as she 
took another sip of wine.  
  
"So how is your family, Scully?  I saw your mom a few weeks ago, she 
looks well."  
  
Scully struggled to keep her smile for him.  "She's doing okay.  She's 
not as quick with her memory these days, but sometimes that's a 
blessing."  She let the mood drop again as she stared off into the 
distance.  
  
"There's nothing wrong is there?"  
  
"Not that I know of, but she's..... well, she's getting older and some days 
it shows worse than others...... How about your mother?"  
  
"She's actually doing pretty well.  I spent a weekend with her not long 
ago.  No more strokes, but life is wearing her down as well."  Picking 
up his stein, he swirled the last few swallows of beer around in the 
bottom.
  
"With all that's happened...all she's been through...it's only a matter of 
time, now."  
  
Mulder looked back up to Scully with a peaceful smile, one that held 
understanding as well as empathy for what she was witnessing in her 
own mother.  Finishing her own drink, Scully considered the past 
several hours.  
  
"This was good, Mulder.  I had a great time tonight."  
  
"You ready to go?"  
  
Wishing that the night wasn't coming to an end so soon, Scully let out a 
pensive sigh.  "Yeah, I've got an early autopsy to perform in the 
morning."  
  
Mulder signaled Terry over, handed her a few bills for a tip and told her 
to put the meal on his tab.  Extricating himself from the booth, he held 
his hand out for Scully who seemed to have gotten just as comfortable 
in the tight confines of the booth as well.  
  
Saying good-bye to a few other regulars, Mulder guided Scully out the 
front door and went to signal for a cab.   Scully stood back admiring 
the striking figure that Mulder made with his hand up hailing for a taxi.  
He was a decent man, she realized in that light.  Most of the dates she 
had been on in the past year were usually prying into her psyche   
trying to find a way home with her or a way for her to join them.  

Mulder literally stood out in sharp relief, paling in comparison to the 
men she had only seemed mildly interested in.  Troubled by her own 
thoughts, she realized in that moment also that this was Mulder.  Not 
anyone new trying to put on a front or impress her.  This was the 
Mulder she always knew.  Straightforward, honest to a fault, and never 
pretending to be something he was not.  
  
Unsuccessful so far, Mulder stole a glance back at Scully who seemed 
to be watching him in rapt attention.  Seemingly unaware of his 
returning gaze, Mulder looked curiously at Scully wondering what she 
was thinking about.  
  
Caught in her examination, Scully let the smallest hint of a smile drift to 
her lips and walked to him standing on the curb.  "Mulder, if you want 
to get a cab in this town, you have to be a little more..... aggressive," 
she said mischievously.  "Stand back."  
  
Doing as he was instructed, he watched her put her fingers to her mouth 
and summon the most ear piercing whistle he could never imagine 
emanating from such a small body.  As if on command, a taxi glided 
around the corner to stop in front of her.  
  
Giving him her most smug look, Mulder shook his head in wonderment.  
"You see... aggressiveness, Mulder."  
  
"A woman of many unexpected talents."  
  
She opened the door to the taxi and whispered a word to the driver.  
Turning back around, she walked up to Mulder who bent down and 
kissed her cheek. "We still on for Sunday?"  
  
"Yep, I'll see you after church."  Scully took his hand in hers and let it 
go only as she walked out of his reach. 
 
"Bye Mulder."  
  
  
*************  
  
Oklahoma City
9:34 PM

Sitting down to join his fellow aides, the older gentleman counted the 
other men in the room making sure he knew their faces as well as being 
able to summon up their histories.  Only a few trusted souls would 
know the extent of his plan and fewer would know how deeply it 
reached.

Lighting up another cigar, he went over the intelligence reports 
gathered and made his final decision.  An outside force he could use in 
tight situations who was well versed in the skills necessary for these 
kind of operations.

A force who could be dispatched with impunity, trusted with caution 
and most important of all, discredited with his background.  Months had 
gone into the planning and preparation of this grand scheme.  After a 
long time of checking sources and reliable references, the choice was 
made.  

Kevin Saunders would do nicely.


*************

  
Alexandria, Virginia  
Mulder's Apartment  
Sunday, August 19  
12:55 PM  
  
  
The previous night had passed slowly in anticipation of their get-
together.  'Was it really a date,' Scully asked herself.  

The aspect of this "social" visit stirred some thoughts within them both 
that they had subconsciously wondered about for a long time.  
  
Entertaining had never been a specialty of his, especially in his 
apartment.  He had invited Jan over a few times, but that was different  
he thought.  Was it?  Scully had been in place dozens if not hundreds of 
timed.  

Spending the better half of his Sunday morning cleaning and 
preparing, Mulder wondered if the bachelor life was all it was cracked 
up to be.  He hadn't made any firm plans for the afternoon, he just 
figured on playing it out  by ear and seeing what developed.  
  

Scully exited the elevator and proceeded to apartment number forty-
two.  Noticing the two in his apartment number was firmly glued in 
placed, she remembered the time Melissa told her she had lost her mind, 
almost not able to find his apartment.   
  
Rapping the knuckle of her index on the familiar door, she heard faint 
noises coming towards the door.  Mulder swung the door open after 
checking the eye hole.  
  
A cheerful, "Hey," greeted her with a smile on Mulder's face.    
  
"Hi."    

Even after the events of the past few weeks, seeing each other again 
always seemed to jerk reality into the picture.
  
Still feeling out each other and how to act without the protocol of 
professionalism to rely upon, they awkwardly attempted to exchange a 
friendly hug. Clumsily stepping back they both smirked.  

"We're really bad at this aren't we?"  
  
Scully laid her hand on his chest.  "We'll get better, I promise."
  
Boldly she tiptoed upwards and kissed him on the cheek. Striding by a 
semi-stunned Mulder, she took her coat off and hung it on the coat rack.    
Mulder closed the door.     
  
"Come on in, make yourself at home."  
  
She turned back around to Mulder grimacing mildly.  "If you don't 
mind, I'm going to change out of this.  It's a little too dressy for a 
Sunday afternoon."  
  
It was then Mulder noticed a small bag that she still had in her hand.  
Appraising her Sunday church wear that had been hidden under her 
trench coat he stood back to take in the sight of the beautiful woman 
standing before him in a printed sun-dress.  
  
"Scully.  I think I just found a new reason to go back to church........ and 
by the way, which church is it that you attend?"   
  
Shaking her head, she was ironically pleased to have the old Mulder, 
casting innuendo, back.  His lack of faith in religion had secretly 
intrigued, if not infuriated, her at times.  She headed for the bathroom 
and exited a few minutes later in the standard slacks and sweater 
ensemble.  
  
Looking around, trying to detect the subtle changes, since her last visit 
over eighteen months ago, she noticed the same basic setup with only a 
few changes.  On his desk, next to a much larger computer monitor than 
she remembered, she saw a duplicate of the photo of Samantha.   Next 
to that she noticed a picture of his mother taken since her stroke and the 
smaller photo of themselves obviously working a case back when they   
were partners.    Frayed at the edges, a trace amount of soot could be 
seen at one corner.  

Rescued from the rubble of a burned office.
  
Picking up the photo, she turned around to seek out Mulder's eyes in 
question.  "A free lance photographer friend of mine shot it several 
years back when we were on a case.  I always liked that picture of us 
together."  
  
Noticing her longer shoulder length hair, curled under instead of the 
mostly straight cut that framed her face, falling over to one side like it 
was now, she figured it was taken probably in their third year together.  
  
Setting the small frame back down, she then saw another picture which 
she hadn't noticed before, tucked closely behind the one of Samantha.  
Picking it up, she saw a beautiful blond haired woman sitting in profile 
looking out over a body of water with a gentle, warm smile.  Her knees 
tucked under her arms as they wrapped around her svelte frame.  
  
The close cut of her hair coupled with an invisible breeze lifted a stray 
lock of hair that she could see fluttering in the wind if not for the frozen 
moment caught by the camera. 

Her casual attire and demeanor made her look relaxed, content...... 
loved.    
  
Remembering the photo of Jan that she had recently given him after 
their day down on the Chesapeake Bay, he turned back around to see 
that Scully had already found it.    
  
With more confidence in her voice than she thought she owned, 
"Who's this, Mulder?"  
  
Looking like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, Mulder 
paused for a split second trying figure out an explanation that wouldn't 
give her the wrong idea.    
  
Picking up on the awkward moment, Scully sought to ease the moment 
with a bit of veiled humor that was laced with a deep seated fear she 
was suddenly aware of.  "Did you meet Ms. Right?"  

Her eyes gave her away.  
  
Remembering his own personal pledge to himself not to hold back his 
feelings anymore, he answered truthfully.  "Actually, I met a wonderful 
woman.  Someone who you would probably like very much."  
  
Scully's brow furrowing at the prospect, "Really?"  A horrible pang of 
insecurity washed over her as she remembered that disastrous night in 
her apartment with Gerold.  

With her own curiosity deepening, "Are you ...... still seeing her?"  
  
"We dated for a few months on and off.  She was busy, I was busy.  It 
didn't lead to anything serious, but we had a good time and we're still 
friends..... we still like to go out once in a while."  
  
A tiny sense of relief formed and spurred her on. "Did you ... do you 
have a lot in common?"  
  
"Somewhat.  Janice was coming off a divorce....... she had lost custody 
of her kid to the 'ex' and was lonely........ like me.  She turned out to be 
a good friend.  We were both married to our work ....we were 
wanting......... we just wanted an escape."    
  
Fearing a rehash of old issues, Mulder wanted to move past the reasons 
quickly.   "She remembered you, Scully."  
  
"Where did you meet her?"  
  
"I was at the D.E.A. offices one day, she's an attorney working there.  I 
had met her originally about three years earlier on another case..... a 
case we worked together.   We bumped into each other in the lobby, 
started talking....."  
  
Another sharp look away towards the picture told Mulder that he 
needed to let Scully in on a few more details.  

Taking Scully by the shoulder, he urged her sit on the couch next to him 
thinking that maybe the issues would have to be dealt with sooner rather 
than later.   

"Dana, Jan and I ...... Jan helped me through some tough times this past 
year.... with work and..... with you.  She didn't care about my past, she 
didn't judge me.... she listened.  She helped me to realize that my life 
wasn't," catching himself, "isn't as hollow as I once thought."  
  
Riveted to his story, "Your life was never hollow....."  

Looking back into the picture, Scully wondered what this woman had 
offered Mulder that she couldn't or hadn't.  

"Did you think I wouldn't listen, did you think I judged you?" A small 
trace of hurt was easily detectable in her voice.  
  
"No, Dana.  You've always listened...... and you've never judged..... not 
intentionally anyway,  but she offered me something that you couldn't 
give me ......... or maybe just weren't able to.  She allowed me inside.  
She allowed me to feel, to explore and be myself without the fear."  
  
Feeling the air grow heavy and suffocating, Scully suddenly wondered 
if she was ready for this.  If this was what it was going to be like, now 
that they had committed to finding their way back.

Thoughts of too many arguments, withheld feelings and wasted 
opportunities descended down on her as she thought about her next 
move.  "Fear of what?"  
  
"Fear of telling people what...they mean to me.. everyone I've ever let 
get close...."  Mulder closed his eyes at the memories.
  
"In a great many respects I've changed, Scully... I had to.  Not a lot, 
but...Jan made me realize that sometimes... you just have to let go of 
those things that hold you back.... accepting sometimes you might win 
and often you will lose."

The openness that Mulder was showing was altogether surreal and 
different.  She would  not have recognized him if this had been a year or 
two earlier.  

Is this what a year apart has done for him?  

Is this what Jan has done for him?  
  
"You never lost me, Mulder."  
  
"I almost did...."  
  
Attempting to unveil a little more of herself, "But, you won't..."  
  
The familiar silence that followed awkwardness between them made its 
way into the room again.  While the subject was in front of him, he was 
just as curious to find out about her year of growth after hearing the 
rumors.  

"I didn't get around to asking you the other night.....if you're seeing 
anybody .....steady that is?"  
  
"No.... I'm still unattached and looking."  

Trying to lighten the mood once again, "I did however date more 
in the past year than in all the time since I joined the ......FBI ."  Cursing 
herself internally, she had almost said the X-files.  
  
"Anyone special?"  Mulder asked as he took the picture of Jan from her 
hand, placing it back on the desk.  
  
"Not really.......... oh, there was one though.  I was such a hot date, he 
proposed to one of his other girlfriends a month after our first date.  I 
was actually a bridesmaid at their wedding."  
  
Feeling slightly confused, Mulder also felt a twitch of relief 
flooding over him slowly.  "That seems kind of strange.  An old 
girlfriend of the grooms in the wedding party?"  
  
"Well, not really.  It wasn't like that between us Mulder, we just went 
out once in a while.  Pretty much what it sounds like.......... you and 
Janice did....." She said trailing off into a passing thought.  
  
The dawning of another realization set in as they both recognized that 
unknowingly their attempts to connect with other people had been 
silenced by the memories of one another.  Without saying a word to the 
fact, Jan and Gerold had been catalysts in a small way to making their 
way back to each other.  
  
Wanting desperately to lift the tension from the air, "New computer?"  
  
"Yeah...."  Starting to laugh, "You wouldn't believe what it took to get 
it."  
  
Intrigued by his humorous tone, "What happened?"  
  
"What happened is I made the mistake of asking Frohike what I should 
be looking for in a new computer......you know ..... something that 
would last a long time?  Instead he looks at me in horror, like I actually 
had planned to buy one direct mail or god-forbid from a store."  
  
Lifting her eyes to his, it was a silent plea for him to elaborate.  
  
"Well he went back and informed the other two of my intentions and 
they kind of hooked me up.  Come on, I'll show you."  
  
Pulling out his desk chair for her to sit at, he flipped a switch and "Jr." 
came to life.  "Frohike named it 'Jr.' after himself  because of its high 
geek factor"  
  
"Geek factor?"  Scully looked suddenly worried.  
  
"Yeah, just watch."  
  
Mulder sat back and watched Scully's face light up in amazement at the 
powerful  machine before her.  A mere five seconds after the initial boot 
up the mouse arrow sat in the middle of the screen waiting to be 
commanded.    
  
Taking a few seconds to acclimate herself with the impressive setup she 
couldn't help but wonder what Frohike had done to it exactly. 

"Wow.....I'm jealous, Mulder."  
  
A horrified look now graced Scully's features.  "I don't want to even ask 
how much they charged you."  
  
In a full stomach-filled laugh, "You would be surprised at what a few 
videos will do for Frohike.."  
  
Gasping, "Mulder..... you didn't?"  
  
Smiling saintly, "Yes I did.... every last one.  Frohike will probably be 
busy for awhile."  He ended with an evil smirk.  "Needless to say, your 
phone number would have gotten me a larger monitor."  
  
Shaking her head back and forth in jest, "Well, at least you have your 
subscription to Celebrity Skin."  Scully leered her eyes towards Mulder 
reminding him she still knew a few of his so-called secrets.  
  
Returning to the serious tone, "They ask about you all the time, Scully."  
  
Assuming he was talking about The Lone Gunmen, she looked very 
speculative at his remark.  "Really?"  
  
Teasing again, "Frohike's not been the same since we were..... 'un-
partnered.'"  
  
Her soft chuckle at the thought of a distraught Frohike soon 
descended to a sorrowful look remembering the eclectic group that she 
and Mulder had been strangely attracted to.  

"And what about you, Mulder?"  
  
"What about me," asking seriously.
  
"Have you been the same.... since?"  
  
"I haven't been the same for a long time, Scully."  
  
Turning back around in the obviously also new swiveling, leather back 
chair, Scully feel it in the apartment again. A cloud of tension falling 
over them anytime they seemed to cut too close.  She played on the 
computer for a few minutes, marveling at its speed not only in response 
but overall feel.  Logging onto the Internet she surfed around to a few 
sites amazed at the sheer quickness at how the pages seemingly 
downloaded in an instant.   Getting up to examine the stack of CD's 
sitting in a tower next to the CPU, she looked over to him back on the 
couch.    
  
"You hungry, Scully?"  
  
Feeling her stomach groan in agreement she responded.  "Actually I 
am."  
  
"You feel like venturing out to get some lunch?"  
  
Pondering honestly for a second, "No, not really.  I would just rather 
stay in if you don't mind."  
  
Mulder reached to grab his phone. "Woman after my own heart.  What 
do you want?  Chinese? Pizza? Greek?"  
  
Agreeing on the departure from the typical pizza or Chinese quisine 
they settled for the 'Greek' offering.   About forty minutes later, the food 
arrived to find them both engrossed in the football game that was 
playing this early fall Sunday afternoon.  
  
Mulder paid the delivery guy and headed back to the living room.  He 
watched Scully for a second who was deeply involved with the game.  "I 
didn't know you liked football that much, Scully."  
  
Without looking up from the television, "Let's just say it's an acquired 
taste.   When Dad was on leave, he and my brothers would spend all 
afternoon on Sundays watching and talking football.  In order to spend 
more time with him, I would watch with them.  Sometimes we would go 
out in the back yard and pretend a little."

Mulder didn't know whether to cry or laugh.  Something so intrinsically 
known had always told him she had been a tomboy.  Something  so 
utterly trivial that the mere mention of a cherished memory never 
spoken of before, saddened him.
  
After finishing the meal, they sat back to relax and watch the end 
of the game.   Sometime after the start of the fourth quarter, Scully fell 
asleep next to him.  Noticing her predicament, Mulder shifted over to let 
her rest her head on the armrest and stretch her legs out.  

To his surprise, Scully shifted the opposite way and leaned her head 
against him.  Mumbling something incoherent in her slumber, Mulder 
wrapped his arm back around her and closed his tired eyes as well.  
  
Two hours later, Scully woke up feeling the arm draped over her 
shoulder.  Smirking to herself she peered up and found Mulder was 
sleeping soundly, emitting a small wheezing sound as he exhaled.  Not 
wanting to startle him, she put her hand on his chest and lightly 
scratched him through his shirt to get his attention.  
  
"Mulder?  Wake up, Mulder."  
  
Groggily, Mulder started to move.  Suddenly realizing his arm was 
pulling heavily at her shoulder, he pulled it back.  "Oh... I'm sorry.  
Didn't mean to fall asleep on you."  
  
Feeling a little deprived of his touch, "Mulder, it's okay.  I think I fell 
asleep on you first."  
  
They sat there in relative silence for a few moments still a little 
uncomfortable at the nearness of each other.  Scully finally turned into 
his side, laying her hand on his mid-section that begged the question of 
his reluctance to keep his arm around her.  
  
Without much hesitation, "Sorry, I just didn't want you to feel 
uncomfortable."  
  
"It didn't."  Scully said in a small almost child-like voice.  

Clearing her throat from its sleep induced rasp, "Mulder, when we were 
partners.......... we kept a certain distance.... we had to.  It was 
something, at that time, we couldn't afford ourselves."  

"Oh..."
  
Mulder considered her reflection. "Is that why you never made a pass at 
me?"    
  
"A pass?......at you?"  Slightly bewildered at his question she leaned 
back to gain a better look into his eyes.  
  
Seeing the charm that he could wield at almost any moment, she quickly 
turned the tables on him.  "You know, besides the innuendo.  You are 
one of the few men who have never made an overt attempt to ....... put 
his hands in places better left alone."  
  
"Scully, I think you can safely file this under the topic of  'things I never 
thought we would discuss.'"    
  
"You brought it up..."  
  
Detecting her seriousness, Mulder straightened up on the couch, he 
looked at her earnestly.  "No matter what I might of teased you about, I 
would never jeopardize our partnership, let alone our friendship for a 
'cheap feel.'"  
  
"So now, you're calling me cheap?"  Lightly teasing him.  
  
Mulder looked incredulous at her for a second trying to make sure it 
was a joke.  
  
Calming him down, "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me.  You 
didn't. But...... I don't know if you're aware of this, but being a woman 
in a male dominated workplace has its ......pitfalls.  That's one thing I 
didn't have to worry about in the basement."  
  
Pulling his head back, "Are you serious, even in this day and age 
with..."  
  
Stopping him from continuing on, "Yes Mulder, it's not everyone, but it 
probably happens more than you would think."  
  
"Anyone I should know about, Scully?"  
  
"No, no I'm not going to mention names.  Most of them aren't with the 
Bureau anymore."  
  
Her failure to look him in the eye answered his question.  He let it drop.  
Mulling the thoughts over in his head, he replayed how many times he 
had spied a look at women in the Bureau.  Recalling a covetous glare 
here or there on occasion and he knew she was telling the truth.  How 
many times had he caught himself admiring Scully in a new suit,   
especially a certain red one.  
  
"Tell me something.  From a woman's perspective, when someone looks 
at you, can you...... tell the difference between an appreciative 
look.........or a .... stare?"  
  
"Basically yes.  But, it also depends on who is giving you the look too.  
Like today, when you saw me in the dress, I considered it a 
compliment."  
  
Suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable, Mulder started to turn red.   
  
Sensing his feelings, she put her hand to his face turning it towards her.  
"Mulder, if anything you always made me feel appreciated, not like an 
object."  
  
"Scully, you've always been an attractive woman.  If anything, you are 
one of the rare women I've seen that continues to get better looking 
with age."   
  
Her eyes wide in surprise at his candor, she sucked her lips in, slowly 
nodding.

"Well, Mulder.... I would definitely consider that a pass, if not a pretty 
good pickup line."  
  
Shaking his head in denial of the accusation, "I'm just saying ... it's only 
natural that you're going to have your ...... share of admirers."  

Catching the desire in his eyes, Scully was caught again by this 
newfound sincerity.  The thought of him being attracted to her 
physically was also something she had never seriously pondered.  Had 
she ever wanted to realistically consider that thought?   
  
Tentatively, Mulder leaned down and gently kissed her on the cheek for 
a brief moment.  "Would you consider that a pass, Agent Scully?"  
  
Unsure of her own intentions, Scully leaned into another brief kiss on 
his cheek of her own. 

"I'd say you're definately getting the hang of it, Agent Mulder."   
  
Both of them sat back, wondering if the past five minutes had really 
happened.  Comfortably looking into each other's eyes for the first time 
all afternoon the moment passed just as suddenly as it came.  
  
Checking her watch, Scully noticed the afternoon hour was getting late, 
she had some work to finish.  "Mulder.  I hate to run on you, but I've 
got to finish up an article I've been working on for Forensics Quarterly 
Journal.  If I don't FedEx it by tomorrow morning, it won't make it in 
time."  
  
Trying not to sound too disappointed, "Oooo...  Dr. Scully getting 
published?"  
  
Throwing her hand in the air like it was no big deal, "Oh, you know.  
Just some filler space for them."  
  
Mulder leaned up to allow her to stand and retrieved her coat for her.  
She approached the door as he held  up the coat for her to slip her arms 
in.  Turning around in his arms to face him, "I had a really good time 
today.  I haven't slept that well in ......"  
  
"Nice to know I can still put the women to sleep."     
  
Scully jabbed him in the ribs.  "You know what I mean."  
  
Feigning a hurt look, he gently leaned down to her ear and whispered. "I 
do know, Scully.  Thanks for coming."  As he pulled his head back he 
stole another kiss from her cheek.    
  
She gladly returned it, resting her lips on his rougher skin a few seconds 
longer than he had.  "I'll call you tonight."  
  
  
  
*************  
  
10:12 PM  
  
  
The night progressed slowly.  All Mulder could think about was the 
person he had spent the afternoon with.  Every time he thought he had 
her pegged, she always found a way to surprise him.  
  
Mulder lay on the couch flipping aimlessly through the channels trying 
to find something interesting on.  Blindly reaching for the phone as it 
neared its third full ring, "Mulder."  

"Hey.....  it's me." 
 
"Finish your article?" 
 
"Yeah, it was a bit easier than I thought it would be."
  
"When can I look forward to seeing it?"
  
"It will be in next month's issue...."   Scully trailed off not knowing 
exactly how to say what she wanted to.  

A silence fell over the line.  "Scully?"  Mulder attempted to break the 
quiet. 
 
"Mulder, I just wanted to let you know ...... I really enjoyed this 
afternoon.  I like seeing that side of you."  
  
Remaining silent for a few seconds, he thought purposefully about his 
next words.  "I did too, Scully.  I like seeing that side of myself also."  
  
Scully could see the smile forming on his lips, even though they were 
miles apart.  "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, Scully.  Goodnight."  

"Night, Mulder."  
 

*************
 
  
Journal:  DKS 
    
Mulder...  Okay, so it wasn't a real date.  Crashing on his couch to 
Sunday afternoon football is far from dinner and a night on the town, 
but to us it was a big step.  I never realized how much I missed his 
touch until this afternoon.  He has always had a way of handling women 
with care.   I remember how I used to be amazed at his tenderness when 
every other thing about him screamed the opposite. It still amazes me to 
see this considering his childhood....or maybe.... it makes perfect sense.  
They were too busy teaching him the actual formalities of life rather 
than the fundamentals.
    
We even kissed.  Not that we haven't kissed before, but this time there 
was a definite current even if our lips never met.  After only a week of 
being back in each other's lives, it's funny how a year of separation 
seems to have drawn us even closer.  I now wonder if the time apart 
wasn't exactly what we needed.  Clarity of a repaired relationship with 
Mulder makes me wonder even more.  
  
  
*************  
  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
Wednesday,  August 22  
12:51 PM  
  
  
The week had passed pretty slowly.  Seeing each other at work was, 
again, a new experience.  No longer the issues of avoidance, the two 
sought to mend the damage of a professional relationship that had at 
once distinguished them as a premiere team in the Bureau as well as 
take the first real steps into the realm of a personal one.  
  
Upon entering the cafeteria on Wednesday, Scully found Mulder 
reading a case file while scarfing down something looking suspiciously 
unhealthy.  Approaching the table, he didn't realize her presence until 
she was standing directly beside from him.  "Hey," she said with what 
she thought was a little too much enthusiasm.    
  
Mulder quickly looked up and returned the greeting. As fast as he could 
he cleared off the table of his files.  "Excuse the mess, I was just going 
over some light reading."  He gestured for her to sit.  "Please."  
  
"I'm impressed, Mulder.  You're actually eating in the cafeteria."  
  
Thinking of why he and Scully had rarely eaten in the commissary 
provided by the Bureau, "It gets me out of the bullpen and away from 
prying eyes."  
  
Lively, "So that's why you were always so fond of the basement?"    
  
With a look of some greater underlying conspiracy.  "I had my 
reasons."
  
Examining her roast beef sandwich and diet cola, he soon realized the 
table across the room was staring at them.  "I think you may have 
started something, Scully."  
  
Looking over to see what he was referring to she shook her head.  "Old 
friends can't have lunch together?"  
  
"Not when one of them is 'Spooky.'"  He shot her a mischievous look.  
  
"Don't forget who Mrs. Spooky is."    
  
The teasing smile that Mulder used so often to cover the hurt he felt 
from his nickname turned into a frown upon the memory of her bearing 
his moniker also.  
  
Eager to move on, "What'cha  reading?"  
  
Shifting his gaze back down to his paper, "Oh... it's the results so far 
from the Domestic Terrorism Unit's investigation of the supposed  
'Prophet of Abraham.'   Funny how his prophecies usually found  C-4 
and Simtex to be his only witness to the dawn of the new age.  His 
manifesto is a real piece of work."  
  
Seeing the questioning look in her eyes, "He thinks God is speaking 
directly to him.  God is telling him to rid the world of  hypocrites by 
mail-bombing publishing houses that offered versions of the Bible, other 
than the King James version of course.  It seems he took Revelations 
22:18 a little too seriously."  
  
Scully shook her head in disbelief of yet another crazy let loose upon 
the world.   "Are you doing the profile?"  
  
"Yeah, D.T.U. wants to do a detailed profile of him to add to their still 
rather inadequate database of domestic terrorists."  He looked up as if in 
agony of doing another profile would kill him.  
  
"Want any help?"  She surprised even herself at the question.  
  
Mulder's knee-jerk reaction would have been to decline, but he wanted 
to get it done quickly and with Scully's help he could do just that.  "You 
wouldn't mind?"  
  
Surprised again that Mulder would accept her help, "Of course not.  
What are friends for?"  A voice in the back of her mind stepped forward 
to ask if this was going too fast, too soon.  It warned her that jumping 
back into the old routine could possibly stir up feelings that she had 
long tried to suppress.  
  
"After jumping into this guy's head you might reconsider who your 
friends are, Scully."    Mulder added with a hint of skepticism.  
  
Scully reflected on the comment, feeling it might have held a 
deeper meaning while still holding its clever tone.    
  
"So.... no partner today?"  
  
"No, Larry said he had some errands to run.  I think his wedding 
anniversary is coming up soon."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah, he had that undeniable look of forgetting something important 
on his face this morning."  
  
"You like him... as a partner, I mean?"  
  
Briefly pausing, she spoke confidently.  "Yes I do.  He's a little different, 
but he's sharp,  he was easy to train."  
  
Nodding silently, he listened.  "He's a little more grounded in hard 
science so we get along pretty well."  
  
"You mean you haven't had to shoot him yet?"  
  
Gently smiling before she took another bite of her sandwich, "No, but 
he's heard the story.....it pretty much had the same affect."  
  
Pleased to be in each other's company without fighting or arguing, 
Mulder let her finish her lunch in peace.  He quietly reorganized the file 
and finished off his own meal waiting for the next exchange.    
  
"Where will you be tonight?"  Mulder had not been paying attention 
when she asked the question.  
  
"Hmm.? What?"  
  
"I just asked where you would be tonight.... for the profile."  
  
"Sorry, Scully.  I think I zoned out there for a second.  I'll be down in 
the Research Center after work.  If you can make it I would appreciate 
it."  
  
"Don't worry, Mulder.  I'll be there."   Checking her watch she realized 
she had to meet her partner in a few minutes.  "Gotta run.  See 
you tonight."  
  
"Bye Scully."  
  

*************  

J. Edgar Hoover Building
5:57 PM

  
At approximately six o'clock, Scully found Mulder buried in stacks of 
scripture and religious texts that even she had never seen before.  
Creeping up behind him, she peered over his shoulder to watch him 
continuously chew on a sunflower seed.  "Don't think too hard, Mulder, 
you might go blind."  
  
He almost jumped from his chair at the sound of her voice.  Sometimes 
he would get so engrossed on a topic, he would lose all contact with the 
surrounding world.    
  
Seeing his startled expression, Scully laid her hand on his shoulder.  
"Sorry, Mulder.  Didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"It's okay.  Sometimes I get a little preoccupied."  
  
"I remember...."  Scully came around the table to join him.  "What do 
you have?"  
  
"Well, I've got the preliminary profile done.  I just need evidence to 
support my theory. Such as scriptures, parables.... anything I can use to 
show this guy was using the Bible to serve as his road-map.  I thought 
with your religious background, you could find good examples."  
  
Weighing his summation, "Sure, I think I can handle that."  
  
They spent the next few hours hashing out the details and offering 
supporting evidence that would go to show the terrorist's state of mind 
as well as 'reasons' for devising the plans he had.  Reliving old times 
with a new case, an eerie sense of familiarity settled on Scully.   
  
Checking his watch he noticed it was closing in on ten o'clock.  "Scully, 
let's knock off.   I think it's pretty much finished."  
  
Taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes, she sighed in relief.  
"Want to catch some dinner?"    
  
"Sure, I'll buy.  I owe you big for this one."  
  
  
*************  


Sherry's Diner
Downtown, Washington D.C
9:53 PM
 

 
The warm August night was humid as it usually was this time of year, 
even at night.  The soft breeze that flowed between the buildings in the 
downtown area assured it wouldn't be too uncomfortable.  Still on 
tenuous ground, Mulder remained quiet trying to judge the situation.  
Scully, for the most part, had remained quiet most of the night while   
working and seemed rather detached.  
  
Finding a diner in the heart of D.C., like the countless ones they had 
spent in on the road while they were partners, they settled in.  The 
waitress came and took their orders.   Awaiting their food, Scully 
fell distant as she had during the walk from the Hoover building.  
  
Tapping his finger on the table, Mulder got her attention.  "You okay?"  
  
"I was just thinking."  Even his inquisitive nature was the same she 
recalled.  
  
"I thought I was the one with the dirty mind."   The sparkle in his eye 
coupled with the tone in his voice was un-nerving only in the sense that 
it was too familiar to their old habits.  
  
As usual, his sense of humor went un-rewarded without even a smile. 
The game may not have been played in a while, but the rules were 
certainly remembered.  

Turning back to her more serious thoughts, "I was just thinking how last 
month this time, if someone had told me I would be sitting here having 
dinner with you, I wouldn't have believed them."  
  
Mulder's eyes fell to the table top, unsure on how to respond or what to 
say. "Is this a problem.... mixing work with..?"  
  
She had felt it coming. "I don't know...maybe...it's just that sometimes I 
look back over the years.......and I wonder if it was all a dream.  From 
college through the X- Files.......I just wonder sometimes.."  
  
Detecting her direction, Mulder held his thoughts in check while she 
continued. "I uhh... woke up the other night in bed and for ....... for ten 
minutes, I couldn't remember ...... couldn't remember who I was.   
Where I was.... what day it was..."  
  
Twisting the cloth napkin in her hands to relieve some tension, Scully 
continued.  "It was so strange, Mulder. I mean.... I knew deep down 
what was happening, but I couldn't place myself.  Random thoughts 
kept running through my mind.  Thoughts of Melissa, Emily, the job, 
you.....sometimes I just feel so alone ..."  

Catching herself, she stopped.  It was rare for Scully to put this much of 
herself on display.  
  
The waitress had returned to serve them their food without paying any 
particular mind to the woman with a lone tear falling down her cheek.  
After she left, Mulder stood up and sat down next to her in the booth 
they occupied.  He put his arm around the back of her resting it on the 
back of her seat.  
  
"Scully?"  She could only slowly shake her head in uncertain defiance, 
not wanting him to know that deep down, her subconscious associated 
some of her losses with the man sitting next to her.  It would be a 
mountain of guilt he would carry around for the rest of his life.  
  
"If my being here is too much for you.......if this is going too fast.... you 
have to let me know."  
  
This time Scully shook her head confidently that Mulder was wrong 
about being in her company, yet still unsure at the pace at which the 
events of the past week were going by.  
  
"You hungry?"  Mulder asked.  
  
Scully, with her head still down, shook her head from side to side. "No, 
not really."    
  
Mulder stood up, pulled a few bills from his wallet and grabbed her 
hand.  "Come'on, Dana."  
  
He had never seen the amount of distress on her face as he did that 
moment.  It was as if all the years of anguish had built itself up to this 
instant.  He pulled her along until they found a quiet stretch of 
sidewalk illuminated by a full moon and dozens of street lights.  
  
Standing directly in front of her, he looked at her eyes trying to see 
what the soul was doing.  Her expressive eyes were indeed the windows 
to her soul, they always had been.   
  
"You will never be alone, Scully."  
  
Twisting a smile to her face, Scully talked to him in a low, but confident 
tone.  "Mulder...... when you came into my life all those years ago,   I 
was so independent, carefree....... I never knew that...... I never thought 
I would need someone else in my life... I was so different back then."  
  
Not quite understanding, they started again, walking along the sidewalk 
as she elaborated. "I had my life so planned out.  Even though the FBI 
wasn't originally in those plans, it was perfect." 

Laughing, "My life had been so predictable until I met you and the X-
Files. That first night in Oregon literally changed everything for me.  
Having you challenge me on a daily basis, testing my beliefs....... making 
me believe in what we were doing."  
  
Mulder was tense, not exactly sure on how to receive this piece of 
enlightenment from her.  
  
Stopping again, she sought his full attention.  "Mulder, you once spoke 
of the inextricable relationships in our lives that we have no choice or 
control over."  

"It was then that I realized that was a truth I didn't want to face.  You, 
Emily... so many things happened ..... so many uncontrollable events 
took place."  
  
Walking a short distance more before coming to another stop,  "It has 
been so hard to ....think about Emily and even though the memories of 
her grow better everyday.....and I only knew her for such a short time, 
she showed me a future I had never dared to dream.... a future I feared I 
could never have."  
  
Looking curiously at her she saw the question in his eyes.  Sniffling a 
few tears away,  "No, Mulder it wasn't in my plans.  It never was 
until..... and now.... I curse the day I ever thought I could so easily give 
up something that I didn't realize I wanted ...........until I could never 
have it."    
  
"And this past year......I was lost.  I made my way through each day of 
an uncertain future without the one thing I needed most... and I didn't 
know it until it was too late."   
  
Gently and somewhat tentatively she stepped closer to him.  "I missed 
you so much, Mulder.  I didn't realize how much, until tonight.  I didn't 
realize how much I needed you ... your strength, your passion.... all 
these years ... until tonight when I thought about how close we came to 
.......until I thought I might never have YOU in my life again."    
  
Seeing clearly the road she had traveled to get to this point, he 
understood.  Emily had forever changed Scully.  More than her 
abduction, more than her fight with cancer, it showed Scully a glimpse.   
He too had begun a similar journey of change that began on a cold 
November night when he was twelve years old. The glimpse of a 
normal childhood flickered by in his thoughts as he remembered the few 
short years he had with Samantha.  The parallel journeys had shaped 
them into who they had become as they had grown together and then 
apart.  
  
At her heartfelt words, Mulder pulled her to him.   "I'm sorry....I'm sorry 
for not being there this past year..."    Mulder felt his heart breaking as 
she pulled him closer feeling he had let her down.  
  
After a few minutes of comforting one another, Mulder pulled back to 
observe her demeanor.  She had recovered enough to wipe her face 
clear of the guilty tracks of unspent emotions, pent up too long.   
Looking up to him, her next words although not surprising, were 
profound nonetheless.  

"And I never told you, in all those years.... all that time we spent 
together, after I was missing, the cancer....how much you meant to me
....how much ..."  She closed her eyes, unable to say the words.  
    
Catching the tear falling from his face, Scully looked to him again with 
disbelief at the look of surprise on his face.  

"How can you think I didn't....don't still?"  
  
For two people whose intelligence levels were, for the most part, 
unrivaled, it had taken them years to openly admit a deep and enduring 
love for one another even though the words would go unsaid tonight.  

Over the years, actions between each other had for the most part 
spoken louder than they could have expressed, but words were 
sometimes needed.    
  
A small, heartbroken smile formed at the edge of Mulder's lips flitting 
up to his eyes as he understood her implicitly.  
  
"Come, on Scully.  I'll take you home."  Mulder took Scully to her 
apartment in Annapolis and returned in the morning to give her a ride to 
work.  After leaving her car in the Bureau garage, he didn't mind 
wanting to spend a little more time with Scully.  He found that he too 
had missed her presence in his life more than he expected he would.  
  
  
************  
  
Journal:  FWM  
  
For the first time ever, Scully really opened up to me.  I know how 
hard it is for her wanting to keep herself in control, but I also know it 
makes her stronger to release herself if only for a little while.  To give in 
and then retreat back.
  
As happy as I was to see her awaken from the coma, or find out her 
cancer was in remission, I can't imagine feeling better than I do 
now.   She spoke to me with her heart.  She has never been more 
beautiful than she was tonight, open, vulnerable, willing to accept my 
strength directly from me.   

I feel as though we are on the verge of something very special.  
Something, I dare not hope for, in fear that I will do something to 
jeopardize what we have just gotten back.  We are getting better and the 
steps are small, but always forward.	  
  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Usually too busy during the week to make time for each other, they 
agreed to a weekly get-together on Saturday nights peppered with a 
lunch date here or there throughout the week when she was in town.   
At first, the conversations were stiff.  To start things off they usually 
discussed work and the cases that were dominating their lives at that 
point, but soon the fears of them not having anything in common, 
outside of work,  abated.  The discussions would soon deviate to 
family, religion, politics; all those taboo topics that you're supposed to 
stay away from.  For them, however, it was different.  In their 
differences they found a commonality that only strengthened them, and 
more often than not they agreed on more things that they would have 
ever imagined.    
  
Alternating apartments each Saturday night, the two friends once lost, 
repaired the damage in a few weeks time with late-night phone calls that  
restored memories of the good times that they had spent together.  No 
hour was too late.  No problem was too small.  No truth too harsh.  
  
Walking in that same hallway that saw one of the pinnacles of their 
destroyed faith, Scully caught up to Mulder who was not looking in her 
direction.  
  
"Excuse me, Agent Mulder...would you happen to believe in the 
existence of extra-terrestrial biological entities?"     
  
This caused the small group of agents waiting for the elevator to swing 
around and look in shock at the petite auburn-haired women who was 
querying the taller agent.  
  
Without missing a beat, Mulder kept his eyes on his paper, as a small 
smile formed on his lips,  "Why yes Agent Scully, I do believe in the 
existence of E.B.E.s.  And if you'll supply the back-hoe, you can help 
me dig one up."  

The other agents were now boarding the elevator quizzing each other as 
to what the cryptic reply meant.  
  
Smiling, "You ready to go, Mulder."  A reference to E.B.E.s or for that 
matter anything paranormal around mid-day was their code for lunch-
time.   
  
"So where is your partner?"  Mulder moaned.  
  
"Oh, I ditched him.....remember I learned from the best."  Scully gave 
Mulder an innocent smirk.  
  
"Ouch Scully, that was cold."  Mulder winced in mock injury.  
  
  
  
  


[Not Anymore] 
  
  
  
  
Motel 6  
Phoenix, Arizona  
September 13  
11:26 PM PST  
  

Slamming the briefcase down, the woman took a deep breath.  One full 
of resignation and frustration.  Being so far away when things were just 
beginning to get good wasn't as frustrating as being sent on a case that 
should have been handled quite easily by the locals.  

Her cell phone trilling loudly into the night, reminded her of the 
excruciating headache she was suffering from.

"Scully."  
  
"It's me, Scully"  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah, sorry.  Did I wake you?"  
  
"No, no.  I was just getting ready for bed.  I had a long day in the 
morgue.  I'm kind of tired."  
  
Relieved not to have disturbed her rest, he pursued his own need.  "I'll 
be quick then.   I ..... I just wanted to hear your voice."  

The thin line between want and need was being blurred more everyday.  
  
Scully smiled into the receiver.  "Mulder?  It's almost 2:30 in the 
morning on your side of the country.  Can't sleep?"  Thoughts of him 
were dancing in her head as well when he called.  
  
"You know sleeping isn't my strong suit, Scully."  
  
"It wouldn't hurt if you tried using a bed once in while."  
  
Unaware of his own implications, "I don't do very well in beds."  
  
Stifling an ego bruising comeback, she chose a safer route.  "And all 
this time because I thought you couldn't sleep."  
  
A grunt could be heard that was soon followed by, "I think I'm 
offended."  
  
"I could have done worse, Mulder.... you left yourself wide open for 
that one."  
  
"I think I'm offended..."  
  
Laughing out loud over the phone, Scully amused herself with his never 
ending sense of humor.  Moving on, she didn't want to delve deeper 
into his sleeping habits.  "Anything interesting going on at the 
office?"  
  
"Not really.  The usual bureaucratic bull.  How's your case going?"  
  
"We should be home by Wednesday.  The local field office will get this 
one back after all.........  Mulder is something wrong?"  
  
"No, Scully.... I just missed you, that's all."  
  
"I know... "  For a few seconds the line was quiet while each of them 
considered the changing nature of their relationship.  
  
Interrupting the tranquillity, "So, Agent Scully, what are you wearing?"  
  
The old familiar game of wit and banter was firmly in place again.  
Softly, "Oh, you really don't want me to answer that do you?"  
  
"You never answered me the first time I asked you."   
  
Scully's mind slipped back to the time she sat at her kitchen table as 
she cleaned her gun with her phone jammed between her ear and 
shoulder. 

"Well, let's see.  I just sat down on the bed..... I'm wearing the 
navy blue pantsuit.... you know, the one with the zipper along   
the front of the jacket.  Nothing out of the ordinary.. sorry, Mulder."  
  
"Ahh...... one of my favorites."  
  
"You have favorites," she asked in disbelief.  
  
"Of course.  You've always been a sharp dresser, you know that."  
  
"Glad you appro....ve." She replied trying to stifle the yawn.  
  
"I'll let you go, Scully.  I know you're tired."  
  
"Yeah, we'll continue our wardrobe comparison some more tomorrow."  
  
"Promises, promises....."  
  
"Goodnight, Mulder."  
  
"Hey, Scully?  Give me a call on Wednesday when you arrive at the 
airport, I'll give you a ride home."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Night, Scully."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Scully made several road-trips, but always kept in contact with Mulder.  
Pumping him for ideas and wild theories to 'spook' her partner, she 
never realized how much fun Mulder had been having all these years.  
Calling him every night while away from D.C., they talked for hours and  
were content to hear each other's voice.  They were partners again,   
in a deeper sense.  
  
  
  
September 29th  
San Francisco, CA   
6:48 PM  
  
After a long day of interrogating a suspect, Scully settled into the booth 
her partner had picked out in a roadside restaurant.  Waiting for him to 
return before she ordered, her thoughts invariably traveled about three 
thousand miles east towards her old partner and friend Fox Mulder.   It 
had been almost two month since Mulder and her decided that living 
without each other in their lives wasn't something they wanted.  It 
had been a long road in which to travel, but a test that spoke loudly to 
each other's hearts.  
  
Agent Holland returned to find Scully staring out the window into the 
distance unaware of her surroundings.  Reaching for his menu, he tried 
to be obvious about his return. Holland wasn't stupid, nor was he in the 
dark.  Scully had confided in him the whole story of the 'Mulder years' 
as she sometimes called them, the separation between them and their 
recent reconciliation.  
  
As he watched his partner continue to stare out the window, Holland 
looked down to his hands and saw the band of gold on his left ring 
finger.  He remembered back to the time when he and his wife, Denise 
had separated a short time after their initial engagement.  Although   
it wasn't as long as the one Mulder and Scully had imposed on 
themselves, nor was their separation as tumultuous, it reminded him of 
the time when he too had chanced a permanent separation to find out if 
what his heart was telling him was right.  
  
Nudging the menu against Scully's forearm, she awoke from her 
daydream.  "Oh sorry, Larry.  Didn't mean to leave you there."  
  
"How long has it been, Dana?"  
  
Seeing the twinkle in his eye, she knew her session of staring aimlessly 
out the window couldn't go without a question or two.  What was even 
more disconcerting was the fact he knew exactly where her mind had 
been for the past thirty minutes. For that matter, where her mind had 
been the past day or so.   "Two days."  
  
"You didn't call him last night?"  
  
"Couldn't..... he's heading up the stakeout with D.T.U."  
  
"Abraham?"  Holland inquired.  
  
"Yep..." Scully smiled back, knowing that the profile Mulder and her 
had worked on together was about to catch the terrorist.    
  
"So I take it..... things are progressing well...... with Mulder that is?"  
  
Scully was a little unsure on how to answer.  This was the first time she 
would have to respond to a direct question about her renewed  
relationship with Mulder.  Glancing out the window for a second, she 
pulled her thoughts together trying to relay the information from her 
heart to her mind.  "You could say that.  We're doing just fine."  
  
Holland raised one side of his mouth to mimic the grin she was having a 
hard time holding in.  "From the way you've been acting the last couple 
of weeks, I'd say you  guys are doing a little better than fine."  

It was said in a questioning tone that also exuded the message of trust 
and complete confidence a partner should have.  Just like the 
partnership she had once shared with Mulder.   

"Don't take this the wrong way, Dana, but you look ... well you look ... 
more at ease than I've ever seen you look these past few weeks."  
  
Sheepishly, Scully studied the menu.  Suddenly looking up, she 
continued the conversation that her partner thought was over.  "Have 
you ever had an idea that seemed so foreign one day, seem so incredibly 
right the next?"  
  
Searching for her deeper meaning, "I suppose..... we all change our 
minds on occasion."  
  
"I don't know if it was a change of mind as much as a change of 
circumstance."  
  
Her cryptic reply really had Holland interested now.  The partner he 
knew as logical and grounded had just offered an incredibly personal 
introspective that spoke of karma, maybe even destiny.  She could see 
Holland was twisting in the wind trying to figure her last statement out, 
so she elaborated.  
  
"Larry, when Mulder and I were partners, we were close.  You know 
about my ....missing time, my cancer, and our sisters.  We saw each 
other through some rough times.   But in the same sense we were also 
two different people,  at times almost removed from one another."  
  
"Was that the reason you two had problems after the 'down-sizing?'"  
Holland always found unique ways of referring to her time with Mulder 
without wanting to mention his name.  After becoming her partner, he 
had heard the stories about her and Mulder that floated around the 
building, as well as the persistent gossip that always seemed to   
accompany them.  

Every time his name was mentioned in those early days of their 
partnership, he saw the same reaction run over her face.  A warm feeling 
of remembering old times soon to be followed with the pain of an 
unconfronted past.  
  
"Maybe.  I just never thought I could .... WE could be this close after all 
we've been through...."   

After a few moments more of thinking it over.  ".....and somewhere in 
the back of my mind......I never thought we wouldn't be this close, 
eventually."  
  
Pulling out his own cell phone, Holland pushed it across the table to her 
remembering she had left hers in the car.  She would remember this 
moment and his words for years to come.

"Then what are you waiting for, partner?"  
  
  
  
*************

  
  
Friday, October 1,   
Fox Mulder's Apartment  
Alexandria, Virginia  
6:45 PM  
  
  

After throwing his keys down on the table and flipping through his mail, 
his phone rang.  Knowing Scully was due back from the west coast 
anytime  he wasn't surprised to hear his phone ring.   Picking up his 
cell phone, "Mulder."  
  
"It's me."  She sounded a little out of breath.  
  
"Hey, you back?"  
  
"Yeah......can you be here in half an hour?"  
  
"Sure, what's up?"  Mulder heard a siren in background and the distinct 
sound of a police radio.  "What's wrong, Scully?"  
  
"My place was broken into.  I....I surprised the robber when I got home.  
It looks like he went through my stuff and a couple of my neighbor's as 
well."  
  
"Are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine.  He knocked me over when he was running out of the 
apartment.  I didn't even get a good look at him...."  
  
"I'll be there as fast as I can."      
  
He was walking out the door retrieving his coat as he left.  Taking as 
many liberties with local speed limits as possible.   Arriving at her 
apartment building on the south side of Annapolis, he saw the yellow 
crime scene tape and police cars out front as he expected. An eerie 
feeling of familiarity came over him.   
  
Fishing out his credentials he showed them to the police officer 
guarding the scene, just in front of a growing crowd of on-lookers.  
  
"Mulder, FBI.  I'm looking for Dana Scully?"  
  
"If it's one of the residents I think she went back into her apartment, 
sir."  
  
Mulder made his way to her front door seeing the Annapolis PD dust 
for fingerprints.  He paused to see her lock had been 'jimmied.'   

Entering the apartment he saw Scully sitting away from him being 
questioned by a detective.  Her trenchcoat still hanging loosely from her 
shoulders, a paramedic was busy checking her pupils.  
  
Flashing his badge at the Detective to announce himself, he noticed 
Scully jumped a little at the sudden surprise of another voice.  She 
turned to see Mulder and rose to embrace him.  Detective Peter Sharpe 
introduced and then excused himself.  
  
Pulling back to look at her face, he noticed a small cut near the top of 
her hair line that had been recently dressed.   A small bump surrounded 
the bandage signifying she had most likely hit her head against 
something sharp.  Seeing the relief in her eyes at his presence, he 
touched her forehead lightly.  
  
"O.K.?"  
  
Breathing deeply, she relaxed into his arms.  "Yeah, I'm fine."   Pulling 
tightly at his waist, she turned her head onto his shoulder reveling in 
the sturdy frame of her best friend, the only one she could ever want to 
make her feel better.  
  
Standing there with her in his arms, Mulder thought about how natural 
this felt.  Since their reconciliation, back in August, they were more 
open towards each other in all aspects.  Emotionally, spiritually as well 
as physically.  The woman he only knew as his salvation and strength 
fit into his arms like she belonged there as he stroked her back letting 
her feel safe again.  
  
Detective Sharpe came back to the living area.  "Dr. Scully, your door-
locks were compromised during the break-in.  I've suggested to your 
neighbors that they might want to find other arrangements for tonight 
as well, if it will make you feel better.  We're going to be here a while, 
collecting evidence.  Unfortunately this is not the only break-in in   
your neighborhood lately.  We'll leave an officer here at the building 
overnight to guard your possessions.  If you can remember any more 
details, here's my card.  Please feel free to call me."  
  
Mulder noticed the forlorn look on Scully's face as she went to see the 
door and the broken locks for herself.   
  
"Detective Sharpe," Mulder spoke up, "will it be okay to start repairs in 
the morning?"  
  
"Yeah, these guys will only be a few more hours in case you plan on 
staying here."  Sharpe walked back to his officers collecting more data.  
  
Scully returned to Mulder's side.  "Don't argue with me, Scully, go get a 
bag packed.  I'll take you to your Mom's.  If not for your sake, then at 
least for mine."  
  
Mulder waited while Scully slipped into her bedroom to retrieve a few 
items.  Watching the forensic guys from the Annapolis police, he 
offered his own services at examining the scene supplying a few ideas 
for Sharpe to cover.  
  
As she returned to Mulder's side with an overnight bag, Mulder 
couldn't help but ask.  "Scully, did you find anything missing?"  
  
Looking around to her valuables, she started doing a mental inventory.  
"Not that I can tell, Mulder.  TV is still here, computer, stereo....... 
Nothing I can tell right off."  
  
"Could you tell what he hit you with?"  
  
Reliving the encounter in her mind she replayed that moment where her 
back was turned and something hard hit her in the back of the head 
thrusting her forward into the armoire next to the door.  "It was 
definitely not his fist. It was something hard....a glancing blow   
maybe.."  
  
"Where is your gun?"  
  
Scully felt around to her back and reassured herself it was still there.  "I 
didn't even get a chance to sit down, let alone take my coat off."  
  
"How about your other gun?"  
  
Her Whalter PPK .380 that she had since the academy.  It was the first 
gun she carried during their partnership.  Not used to carrying firearms, 
the Bureau let her and others carry a smaller weapon in order to get 
used to it.  It wasn't a slight to women, it was an understanding that 
safety came first.  A woman or anyone for that matter who wasn't   
comfortable carrying the standard issue high capacity Smith and 
Wesson could be a liability.  
  
Scully carried it for the first year before switching to the S & W.  She 
used hand grips to strengthen her hands and practiced loading, 
unloading and cocking it relentlessly.  It wasn't until after she was 
certified with it that she realized the improved hand strength also made 
autopsy's easier.  Thinking back to the last time she had seen it, she 
rushed into her bedroom and rummaged through her nightstand drawer.   
The gun was gone along with the brown leather hip holster it 
permanently resided in.  
  
Staring back at Mulder who now stood in the doorway he received her 
message.  Her eyes bore a certain amount of confusion and fear.  Why 
would someone break in and bypass all other non-traceable valuables 
just to steal a gun?  Not that it wasn't valuable either, but it wasn't 
usually a first option now with all the gun laws.  Practiced burglars   
knew that if they were caught with a gun in their possession the 
penalties were devastating compared to a plain case of breaking and 
entering.  
  
Then again, the increased gun laws had made it difficult to get hold of 
weapons.  After filing off the serial numbers it would be untraceable.  
Illegal, but untraceable.  Having a legal firearm was a not much concern 
to the criminals either.  
  
Detective Sharpe was informed of the missing gun.  Scully produced the 
paperwork with serial numbers and made a short statement.    
  
Studying the apartment with her a sudden deja-vu came to him.  Maybe 
the robber was looking for someone instead of some things.  Shuddering 
at the thought, he put his arm around Scully.  "You ready?"  
  
Smiling up at him, sensing he had detected her desire to leave, "Yeah, 
let's go."  
  
Exiting the building they fought through on-lookers and the curious.  
Mulder opened the door and helped her in making sure she didn't re-
aggravate the wounds on her head.  
  
Sliding into the driver's side, he thumbed through his keys and brought 
the engine to life.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm a little hungry, Mulder.  Let's stop somewhere."  

Finding something to put her at ease,  "As long as your buying," he 
said offering a wink. 
  


*************  

Sewell's Restaurant 
8:32 PM

  
Arriving at a place familiar with casual dining,  the bar was centered in 
the place surrounded by a few televisions displaying the latest sports 
news and current events.  An atmosphere of young professionals 
infused the air as they found their table offered to them by the 
waitress.  
  
Scully, for the most part, had been quiet on the ride over.   He let her 
drift in thought after a few minutes letting her reflect on the past few 
hours events.  

Looking around at the relaxed and somewhat festive atmosphere, 
Mulder noticed quite a lot of singles hanging around the bar.  

"So this is what we were supposed to be doing all those Friday nights 
when were younger."

Hoping to break her out of her preoccupation, Mulder's witty comment 
fell on deaf ears.  Taking her hand from across the table, she flinched 
again.  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, Scully."  
  
She held onto his hand tighter apologizing for jumping the second time 
that night.  "I'm just a little shaken.  No matter how many times it 
happens, the thought of someone breaking into my apartment ....."  
  
Squeezing back, "I know.  Tell you what.  I'll pick you up from your 
mom's place tomorrow morning, we'll go shopping for a new deadbolt 
and I'll help you install it.   God knows, I've had to replace mine enough.  
The landlord probably won't replace your old one that you bought, not 
quickly anyway."  
  
Her mind definitely not focused on what Mulder was saying, Scully 
offered a weak smile in approval.  
  
"What?" Mulder looked puzzled.  
  
Coming back to Mulder, Scully let him in on her concern. "I don't want 
my mother to worry about me.  If she finds out about another break-in 
at my place, I think she'll try to make me move back in with her."    
  
"She'll probably read about it in the paper."    
  
"Even so, I just don't want to deal with her tonight."  
  
Remembering the sights and sounds of a distraught Margaret Scully on 
more than one occasion he suggested another option.  "You want me to 
take you to a hotel?"  

Almost immediately he regretted the offer.  Scully was all too familiar 
with hotels in all shapes and sizes.  Another uncomfortable bed in a stale 
room with little to do.  
  
Scully nodded her head in approval, not wanting to display her lack of 
enthusiasm for spending another night in a hotel room after living in 
one for the last week over three thousand miles away.  
  
"Or......." Thinking over the situation and the events of the last few 
weeks, Mulder offered another solution. "Would you want to stay at my 
place tonight?"  Mulder hoped the offer wasn't too forward.   

"You wouldn't mind?"  
  
"Mind?  Of course not. Maybe we can rent a movie.......besides,"  
Mulder held an evil looking gleam in his eye,  "it'll finally get you into 
my bed."

Scully could only shake her head, wondering how she walked right into 
that one.  "You don't have a bed, Mulder."

"How would you know?"  He shot back cleverly.
  
Dinner arrived and they lost themselves in conversation.  Forgetting 
about her apartment for a while, she concentrated on Mulder and the 
time they were together.  How easy it had become to accept him back 
into her life, as if the year apart had never happened.   At times it was a 
little unsettling how they were together again.  Together in an entirely 
new way.  The close friendship they had once had as partners was now 
being  replaced with something deeper built on a real desire for one 
another's company and as always trust.  Trust so inherently and freely 
given it was all they knew.  
  
Forgoing the movie they arrived back at Mulder's place.  He excused 
himself to prepare the 'guest' room he called it.  After a few minutes, she 
followed him into the bedroom to see for herself.  

Mulder was busy changing the sheets when she entered.  She had been 
in Mulder's apartment many times, but hadn't ventured into the bedroom 
wanting to preserve his privacy, hoping he might one day observe hers.  
  
"That's a nice bed, Mulder.  Why don't you ever use it?"  
  
Mulder stiffened at the long forgotten memory and offered an anemic 
excuse. "I do sometimes, when the couch starts to hurt my back, or if 
I'm sick.  I don't think I've used it in a couple of months I guess."  
  
He finished tucking the sheets and comforter in and sat down to 
appraise its comfort.  "It's pretty firm, I don't know if you'll like it."  
  
Sitting down next to him, she bounced a few times to decide for herself.  
"It's not bad.  Kind of like mine at home."  They sat there in relative 
silence for a few seconds aware of the close proximity of one another on 
the same bed.    
  
Scully grabbed his hand, pulling it into her lap.  "Thanks Mulder.  
Thanks for being there for me tonight."  
  
Feeling the gratitude was unneeded, but not unwelcome, "Anytime, you 
know that."    
  
Releasing his hand from hers, she leaned into his shoulder, a sign of the 
support she had so often took from him.  "Yes, I do know."  
  
Slanting his eyes towards her, "This wouldn't be the inappropriate time 
to say you look kind of cute in that bandage, would it?"  
  
Shaking her head, again trying to hide her demure smile, she pulled him 
up.  "Come on Mulder, I think the couch awaits us."  
  
After catching the news, Scully had fallen asleep on his shoulder again.  
He woke her up gently and asked if she was ready for bed.  She found 
her way to the bathroom, grabbing her bag on the way. A few minutes 
later she emerged in a silk bathrobe that covered her pajamas only 
slightly.  Free of makeup and other accessories, she walked over to   
Mulder.    
  
He looked up from the television seeing she was ready to call it a night.  
"What time do you want to get up?"  
  
"I'll be up around eight or so.  Goodnight Mulder."  She leaned down 
and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Night, Scully."  
  
 
*************
 
  
4:33 AM  
  
After falling asleep on the couch a little after midnight, Mulder woke up 
after his normal four hours of sleep.  Usually he would turn on the tube 
and vegetate to the sounds of whatever was on that didn't totally bore 
him.  He often wondered if this produced a more relaxed state of rest 
than sleep.  This night, however, he had a guest that he didn't want to   
wake.    
  
Instead he pulled the television around to face him and turned it on 
leaving the sound muted revealing the close captioned transcript.  The 
lights of the television reflected off the walls and created a semi-strobe 
effect that soothed him.    
  
"Mulder?"  
  
Sitting up quickly, he saw Scully standing in the doorway beyond the 
living room dressed in her pajamas without the robe.  "I'm sorry, 
Scully.... did I wake you?"  
  
Shuffling over to join him, she sat on the coffee table in front of him.  
"No... I've been awake for awhile now."    
  
Mulder was reclined into the back of his couch and studied her eyes 
trying to understand her meaning. "You okay?"  
  
Regretting the question as soon as it left his mouth, he saw her 
sheepish smile telling him she was 'fine.' as usual.   "Just can't get back 
to east coast time, yet..... not to mention one hell of a headache."  
  
"Wait right here..."  Mulder wandered off to the kitchen to retrieve 
some aspirin and a glass of water.    
  
"Here you go.  Now turn around."  
  
Not quite sure she heard what she thought she had, Scully saw his 
finger twirling around in the air motioning for her to turn herself around 
on the coffee table.    
  
"I've seen the bump on your forehead, now I want to see the one on the 
back."  Scully twisted around and propped her legs over the far edge 
while Mulder sat on the front edge of the couch.
  
Gently starting at the top of her scalp he let his fingers wander down 
until he felt the small knot that had formed about halfway down on the 
back of her head.  He slowly parted the hair to see if the skin was 
broken.  As his fingers reached the summit of the small bump, he felt her 
wince a little at his touch.  
  
"Sorry, Scully....."  
  
"It's okay... it probably looks worse than it feels."  
  
"No wonder you can't sleep."  
  
With her hair still parted roughly down the center of her head, he 
noticed the scar from the implant at the base of her neck.  His fingers 
slowly glided down through her hair and faintly danced over almost 
imperceptible bump.    
  
Feeling her stiffen slightly, "Sorry..... I've just always been curious."  
  
"It's part of who I am I guess."  
  
Another minute of quiet tranquillity pervaded.  Instinctively, Mulder 
brought his other hand up and gently massaged the slight tension in 
her shoulders.     
  
"Oh God, Mulder."  Scully arched her back into his hands.  Lolling her 
head backwards she let another moan of satisfaction escape as she 
twisted her back helping him find the right place to work his magic. 

"Don't tell me you've had this talent all along and never shared it with 
me."  
  
Continuing his newfound labor of love, he dug his thumbs into a  
particular spot just below her shoulder blades.  Another gasp came from 
her as she flushed with embarrassment at how good his hands felt.    
  
Leaning into her, Mulder parked his mouth just behind her ear and 
seductively whispered, "You never asked."  

Releasing the pressure, he slowed down in order to bring her down.  
The one thing he had learned about a great back-rub was to always 
leave your subjects wanting more.  
  
"Better?"  Mulder asked as he stopped his motions and scratched her 
lightly on the back.   
  
"Yeah, I think I need a cigarette, though."  Scully turned back around 
to catch his reaction.  
  
Laughing quietly at her taunting remark, "You've not felt anymore urges 
to seek out bridges in the middle of the night, have you?"  The humor 
he used to mask the real fear behind his question was weak.  
  
Regarding him with utmost sobriety.  "No.  No more ... collect calls."    
Using his own pet name for the incident that had happened back at 
Ruskin Dam put him at ease a little.  
  
Looking over to the television, "Do you always sleep so little?"  
  
Yawning, "I'm usually good for about four to six hours, then I'm back 
up....it depends."  It was a subtle exploration of facts that she had long 
wondered about.  
  
Wringing her hands together she studied her fingers as they entwined 
with one another.   "During the last year or two.... I developed a habit 
of waking up at odd intervals in the night unable to relax.  You know... 
just too keyed up... I would usually take a shower or a soak in the tub to 
wind down again...."   
  
Hearing her voice grow despondent, he couldn't resist the attempt to 
cheer her up.  "Well look at the bright side. Now you know I'm up this 
early you can call me and let me bore you to sleep again."  
  
Achieving the desired affect, Mulder saw her head dip and her eyes 
avert, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of putting a smile on her 
face.  "If you don't mind, I'm gonna borrow your shower."   Scully 
pushed up from the table and attempted to make her way to the 
bathroom.  
  
Halfway there, "Scully?"  
  
Sleepily she turned around to see what he wanted.  "Nice pajamas."  
  
She left him there with a smirk on his face while she shook her head 
wondering if his mind ever stopped its persistently sly remarks.  
  
The warm water trickling down was hard.  A by-product of city water in 
Alexandria, she couldn't quite get used to the smell.  It was bad enough 
she had gotten used to the rough towels that were washed in hard water 
which scraped her skin at practically every hotel she had ever been to, 
but this was supposed to be someone's home.  This was Mulder's home.  
Something about being in his shower for the first time brought up some 
interesting, if not amusing  thoughts of her former partner.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Mulder could hear his hair dryer running as 
Scully was finishing up in the bathroom.  Emerging a few minutes later 
back in her silk robe she looked refreshed and more relaxed than she had 
since being back in town.  
  
Coming back out to the living room with his first-aid kit in hand, she re-
took her position on the coffee table and handed him the box.  
  
"I need you to dress this for me."  Scully said pointing to the uncovered 
injury on the side of her forehead.  
  
"Dressing Scully?  One of my fantasies come true."  Mulder smirked.  
He opened the kit and fumbled around for the sterile stitches and gauze 
tape he kept in there avoiding her look of doom over his last remark.  If 
he had a chanced a look, he would have been surprised to see her 
blush.  Needless to say, it was not a normal Scully reaction.  
  
Reminding him of a long ago event below an icy plain in the Antarctica, 
"I thought that fantasy had already come true."  Figuring she must have 
been practicing, Mulder couldn't quite get over how much fun Scully  
was to play with.  She had come a long way in their game.  
  
Delicately he sterilized the wound and affixed the bandage just as she 
had taught him all those years ago.  She had plenty of practice time to 
teach him in their line of work whether it was her getting patched up or 
him.  Working slowly, he made careful work, trying not to inflict more 
pain as his fingers found their way around her forehead..  
  
As careful as Mulder was at not causing more pain, Scully was enjoying 
the feather light touch of Mulder's fingers stirring a distant and low 
buzzing sensation she could feel seeping throughout her body. If there 
ever was such a thing as a `contact-buzz,' this was her evidence.  The 
sensations had been coming more recently as well as the emotions   
pouring out of her, so easily for the first time in her life.  
  
Finishing up, Mulder could see her getting a little drowsy.  Leaning 
back to appraise his work, he announced,  "All set."    
  
Scully picked up the small mirror that came with the kit and looked 
herself.  "Not bad,  Mulder.  I might just make a nurse out of you yet."  
  
"It's still pretty early, you gonna go back to bed?"  
  
"I've got a better idea."
  
Without hesitation she recalled the Sunday afternoon on his couch and 
how good it had felt to be next to him.  Wordlessly sliding off the coffee 
table she sat beside him on the couch.  Instinctively, she motioned for 
him to lay back.  

Assuming as well as hoping what she had in mind, Mulder propped a 
knee up against the back of the couch and watched her slide in so that 
she used him as a giant pillow, leaning back against his chest.  Finding a 
comfortable angle to rest her head at, she relaxed and  drew his arms 
around her midsection.  The satin of her robe, coupled with his strong 
arms made her feel safe and comfortable as she pondered her early 
morning actions.    
  
Minutes later, when all was calm again, the weight of her movements 
sank into both of them.

"Mulder?"  
  
Without opening his eyes, "Hmm?"  
  
"What's happening here?"  
  
Still resting his eyes, "I thought we were trying to get you back to 
sleep."  
  
"No.... I mean ... what's happening with us?"  
  
His eyes popping open, he feared that she was uneasy by being in this 
position  "If this is uncomfortable...."  
  
"I just can't forget how close we were... how things were between us..... 
when it all seemed to slip away... so easily."  
  
Talk of that time was had become easier, but would always haunt them.  
A necessary evil that was required for them to move on to better things.  
Laying back against him, she was aware that the position she was now 
in was something that was inevitable.  For so long she had lived without 
the comforting presence of someone else to lean against.  Once thought 
of as a weakness or something un-required for living, she felt his arms 
tighten around her waist and let the smile fall back to her face.    
  
One of his fingers gently moved hypnotically back and forth across her 
robe almost imperceptibly.  Looking down to see if it was really moving 
like she thought, Scully couldn't help but imagine those hands sliding 
upwards to encircle her breasts and apply the same movements.  Her 
mind drifting on the edge of sleep considered the possibility and found 
renewed interest of its potentiality, knowing the man behind her would 
never take advantage of her in this or any situation.  
  
Another surge of love and admiration for Mulder coursing through her, 
Scully turned over in his embrace, using his shoulder as a pillow for her 
cheek.  As close as they had ever been before this was probably the 
most intimate position they had ever found themselves in.   Sleepily 
wondering out loud, "Is this where we should be going?"  
  
Rubbing her back in a comforting manner, "We've been going there for 
a long time,  Scully."   
  
A few minutes passed, finding them deep in their thoughts.  Thoughts 
of where they had been and where they were directed.  Her silence was 
troubling to him.  "You don't have any reservations about this, do you?"  
  
Halfway serious and with an edge of veiled humor, "I'm sure I could 
come up with a few, but I don't think they would matter now, would 
they?"  
  
Relieved at her answer, he had always thought that if they were to 
pursue this course, it would have to be her call.  He would urge for it, 
maybe even ask for it, but it was all falling in to place. "Your logic is so 
overwhelming sometimes, it scares me."  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Would you mind if we took our time getting there?"  
  
He kissed her on the temple.  With that, Scully squeezed him tighter 
letting him know  how much she appreciated his understanding.  "As 
long as it takes."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Scully's Apartment  
Saturday, October 2,   
11:12 AM  
  
Mulder found an old drill he had once bought a long time ago to fix 
his doors which always had a knack for getting kicked in over the years 
and took it with him.  Finding a hardware store, he let her pick out what 
she thought would do the job.  Adding a chain-link bolt to her selection 
they made their way back to Annapolis to see her apartment.  
  
After showing their identification to the patrolman still on duty, they 
made it to her place.  For the most part, it was intact.  A few items 
strewn around here and there.  She picked the place up while Mulder 
installed the locks.  Drilling the holes in the door and lining up the 
appropriate lock settings he tried them out to make sure they were 
secure.  
  
"Scully, I think you're in business."  
  
She walked over and pulled at the door herself.  It was more secure now 
than it had probably ever been. Even though her building had another 
lock at the front door, it was obviously easy to get past.  
  
"Mulder,  I never knew you were a handy man."  
  
"I'm not really.  Just pretty good at reading directions."  Mulder held out 
his hand and dropped the two keys that came in the package into the 
palm of hers.  "Here you go.  Good as new."  
  
Studying the keys in her hand for a minute, she took one and placed it 
back into Mulder's hand.  "Keep it.  You might need it someday."
  
*************  
  
  
They spent the rest of the day out shopping, walking around and 
enjoying something that 'normal' people did.  Strolling through the local 
mall, Scully couldn't resist the newfound freedom she felt with Mulder 
and their developing relationship.  She reached down and took his hand 
in hers.  Looking up to catch his reaction, she wasn't surprised to see 
the approval on his face.  
  
Stopping to sit on an empty bench, she pulled him down to join her.  
"What stopped us before, Mulder?"  
  
The conversation from earlier this morning was picking up as if they 
were still lying in each other's arms.  Two friends growing closer by the 
second, reaching towards one another, searching for what had been 
absent from their lives for so long.  
  
"You are full of questions today, aren't you?"    
  
Seeing that she was serious, he wanted to keep to their promise of 
communicating openly, holding nothing back.  Looking out towards the 
crowds of people, he settled his eyes on a store across the way that 
dealt in the service of selling and repairing timepieces.
    
"I think in our time with the X-files, we were so caught up in the 
work..... we were so driven to an aim that whatever free time wasn't 
devoted to outside of  work, it was spent with others.   You had your 
family..... and after being together sometimes seventy to ninety hours 
a week.... I guess we weren't too willing to socialize much."  
  
"I spent it alone, mostly."  Scully replied honestly.    
  
Another morsel of information Scully was willing to part with.  Sitting 
there for a moment, he considered their hands together before catching 
her eyes again. "Not anymore, Scully."  
  
It was then that she knew.  Maybe she had always known, but her ever 
persistent scientific mind would always beg for proof.  Evidence of what 
she thought was happening between them was now firmly seated in 
front of her in the form of three words. 'Not anymore, Scully.'    
Not the typical three little words you hoped to hear from the person you 
were falling in love with, but from Mulder, it said a lot.  
  
It was truly a rare sight.  One that scarcely saw the light of day, but it 
was there again,  like it had been  frequently these past few weeks.  A 
smile that slowly crept up her face as she would fight against it, losing 
the battle to her eyes and curved lips.  She would dip her head and let 
her hair drape over the left side of her face as she felt the delight in her   
heart overcome her senses.  A feeling she never quite thought she 
would get used to.    
  
Mulder had seen that smile before.  Once as he gave her a birthday 
present.  Another time when he brought her flowers on that horrible day 
she told him about the cancer.  The most marvelous one when she 
told him her cancer was in remission.  She was smiling more often
these days and every time he saw one, a little bit of his guilt would be   
chipped away.  For that he would love her even more.  
  
Seeing her struggle.  "Look at me, Scully."  
  
Fearing he had noticed, she put back on her regular mask.  "What?"  
  
"Why do you try and hide it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your smile."  
  
"What smile?"  
  
"The one you like to pretend you don't have.  The one you like to cover 
by looking away when you're with me."  
  
"Do I?"  She asked with sincere interest.  
  
"Around me at least.  You don't want me to see it.  Like when we were 
partners, you would never laugh at my jokes."  He said teasing.  
  
"I guess I never thought they were funny."  She came back.  
  
"They weren't THAT bad."  
  
"They weren't that good either, Mulder."  
  
Mulder laughed to himself at her comebacks.  She was always willing to 
hold her own, making him work for the points.  
  
"Come on, let's go to the grocery store, it's my turn to cook."  
  
  
  
Scully's Apartment  
7:18 PM  
  
Scully had stopped at the wine section at her local store.  It was a newer 
market full of  strange foods and delicate items that Mulder could have 
never dreamed existed.  Being that most of the items in there he had 
never heard of before, he walked around studying strange spices and 
ethnic food items.  Scully made her usual rounds and picked out a nice   
dinner wine that was several years old.  
  
Arriving home, she began dinner while Mulder paced the kitchen 
looking for something  to do.  "Mulder, get out! I appreciate your 
helpfulness, but you're getting in the way.  Go find something on 
television or something.  I'll call you when dinner's ready."  
  
The table was set, soft music was playing and only one thing was 
missing.  

Mulder.  

She gently slipped down onto the couch on one knee 
and debated briefly on how to wake him up.  His head lay on the back 
on the top of the sofa tilted slightly to her side.  Even over forty years 
old, he had a youthful but perpetually tired face while sleeping.    
  
Intent on waking him gently, Scully stopped to notice his condition.  
Momentarily thinking about their first real kiss outside his apartment 
when they were being driven apart by the Bureau, she remembered how 
time had slowed and their heartbeats had grown louder.  Even without 
the fulfillment of the attempt, Scully would always consider it their first.  
The intent was there and if it weren't for one of mother nature's 
creations, where they would be now was a total mystery.  
  
Soundly asleep, Mulder woke up to the sensation of Scully's warm 
inviting lips nipping at his bottom one.  His eyes fluttered open and 
Scully pulled away into a warm smile.  For a few seconds, they sat 
there, not sure how to proceed.    

The taste of an already opened bottle of wine on her lips, Mulder could 
also see the desire in her eyes.  Feeling his own grow exponentially, he 
ran the back of his fingers along her cheek pushing a few strands of hair 
behind her ear.
  
Ever so slowly, Scully descended again and began stroking her lips 
together against his,  eager to deepen the kiss.  She briefly ran her 
tongue over the surface of his lips awaiting consent. Feeling her tongue 
begin to explore his mouth, he responded in kind, no longer able to 
passively participate.  
  
Reaching his arm around her  waist, he pulled her into his lap and 
exuberantly returned the kiss that was growing in intensity by the 
second.  Framing her face within his hands he slowly made his way to 
her bottom lip and spent a fair amount of time lavishing it with his 
tongue.    
  
Unable to stop the passions of their encounter, Mulder stroked her back 
and settled his hand at the swell of her hips.  Continuing to forge on, 
Scully ran her hand through his hair, pulling his mouth to an angle 
seeking greater access to him.  Many minutes later, they were out of 
breath.  
  
Pulling back, Scully smiled.  "Dinner's ready."    
  
  
Dinner, as it went, was spent mostly in silence as they both considered 
their behavior on the couch.  It was, after all, the natural progression, 
even though this relationship had been anything but natural. Finishing, 
Scully grabbed the wine and their glasses and instructed Mulder to 
meet her on the couch. She changed the music on the stereo and joined 
him sitting right up against him.  
  
Tilting her head up she noticed Mulder was reserved and within himself, 
almost afraid to say anything.  Looking back down, she speculated if 
the earlier exchange had been premature.  
  
Mulder had seen her glance and was hoping she wasn't regretting her 
actions the previous time on the couch.   Even after the conversation 
early this morning, he was still unsure if this was really happening.   It 
felt so nice to hold her, to kiss her.  To show the person he cared about 
most how much she meant to him in the way he had only dreamed 
about.  
  
The topic hung in the air and gave birth to the stillness as Mulder's 
thoughts clouded his mind.  Scully knew that where they had been and 
where things were going would soon need more discussion if not 
clarification.  Their history was too serious and full of potential pitfalls 
to give into one carnal meeting that could possibly pressure one if the   
other wasn't ready.   
  
Wrapping his arm protectively around Scully, Mulder went first.  
"We've been close before, but something always held us back...I don't 
want to push you into anything if...."  
  
Before he could finish, "No, Mulder ... I don't think you were the one 
pushing, if I remember correctly."   

A slight nudge into his ribs relieved him, knowing she was comfortable 
with the current pace of  developments.  
  
Mulder just nodded his head and considered her thoughts.  
  
"This isn't going to be easy, is it?"  She said shyly.  
  
"Scully, we have never been easy to start with." 

As he took her hand, "I think we're at that proverbial fork in the road."    
  
"Maybe we've avoided that road for too long.... maybe if we had...."  
The incomplete speculation floated between them.    
  
Mulder looked back to her.  "No more maybes, Scully.. no more living 
like we don't feel what we feel.... what we've always felt... no more 
living like we can live without....each other."  
  
Mulder brought his free hand up and twirled a lock of red hair and 
cupped her cheek.  The spiritual and emotional courtship with which 
they precariously navigated during that time had come full circle.  The  
openness and trust that they initially displayed in a dark, candle lit room 
in Oregon, that forged the partnership into a friendship, now took them 
to the last plateau of their yet unspoken commitment to each other.    
  
A romance that was born on a long ago March day, had finally yielded 
the truth......their truth.  A road full of peaks and valleys, good times 
and bad, molded the intricate nature of the relationship.  For a long time 
they sat there and held each other confident in the fact that their time 
had come. As each of their minds replayed the events of the last few 
years and their time of separation, it became obvious to both of them 
that this was the inevitable.  They always knew love would come back 
for them, eventually.  
  
Mulder leaned back and stared into the eyes that he knew so well.  
Those eyes were wet with the happiness. Relief of a journey ended 
and a new one started.    
  
"After all we've been through.... after all we've been to each other.... 
how could I not fall in love with you...how could anyone?"  
   
Hearing the words from his mouth, hearing them like she had never 
imagined, their reality set in.  "Mulder, I think we've both been 
in love for a long time......."  
  
Framing her face in his hands he pulled her lips to his and briefly kissed 
her.  Chaste and simple, he was only wanting to test the waters.  The 
emotion running through their hearts told them that this was the right 
time.  They had avoided these feelings for too long, almost letting it 
destroy them.  After several more minutes their passion got the better of 
them.  Kisses turned into exploration and exploration turned into 
discovery.
  
"Stay here tonight, Mulder."  Her eyes beckoned him.  "Just stay here 
with me."  
  
In an act of mutual, spoken agreement they knew that this journey 
would be slow, deliberate.   Never going beyond what was safe, Mulder 
held her through the night, as they remain in each other's arms on her 
bed.  Rushing into the abyss of  pleasure would not insure their 
success, so for that first night they just held on to each other and slept.  
They slept peacefully, as if the burden of a weight was finally lifted from 
them.   
  
Years of sexual tension had yielded itself to a comfortable peace.  
Younger souls might have given in to desires, but too much was riding 
on this.  There would be time for more later, when a joyous occasion 
would culminate into ecstasy, but tonight was about healing the pains 
of so many years alone and taking the first few steps towards a future.  
  
  
*************  
  
7:59 AM

Sunday morning dawned earlier than usual.  After sleeping longer than 
normal, Mulder peered over next to Scully. Following this path that had 
led them here, he felt emptied.  Emptiness that sometimes accompanied 
him at the end of a long run.  Tired, but refreshed.  Exhausted, but 
secure in the knowledge that life would be better.  What would come in 
their future was not important at the moment as long as they were 
confident in the fact that their future would have them together.  
  
The alarm clock promptly rang at eight o'clock signaling the start of a 
new day.   

"Morning, sleepy head..." Scully groaned, and flinched.  The 
dawning realization of the previous night rushed back to her in a flood.    
  
"Sorry.... guess I'm not used to waking up in someone's arms."  
  
A little dismayed, Mulder started to pull back not wanting to smother 
her.  Reassuringly, "Mulder.  I said I'm not used to it ..... not that I don't 
want it."  
  
Recovering from his gaff, he pulled her closer tucking his head on top of 
her shoulder as he folded himself around her form.  
  
"I swear I thought I was dreaming.....but this is real isn't it?"  Scully said 
groggily.  
  
"It's real, believe me.  I've dreamt it too many times to know the 
difference."  
  
Her return of silence disconcerted Mulder for a minute hoping he was 
reading her wrong.   After a few minutes more of tense shyness he 
looked over her shoulder.  

"Dana?"
  
"I've just been thinking.......I almost feel guilty for feeling this way...... 
this happy......I feel like......."   
  
Turning her over to face him, Mulder cut her off. "Hey, hey, ..... that's 
usually my specialty.  If there is one thing that we have been made 
painfully aware of  recently, is that time stands still for no one.  Like I 
said last night.....no more maybes....no more regrets.."  Mulder held her 
gaze as he caught the lone tear slipping across her face.  
  
Studying her appearance as the guilt washed away, Mulder's decent 
side showed through again.  "This isn't too fast for you is it?"  
  
Recognizing his sincere need to protect her, "No, I think... if anything, 
it's probably a little overdue."  

Tentatively, Mulder kissed her softly.  The kiss grew feverish in desire, 
if not demand.  Scully's mouth turned out to be as soft and delicious as 
he imagined.  Mulder wondered if it were possible to die from kissing 
her.
  
"There are so many things I want to tell you, Dana....so many times I've 
wanted to tell you how beautiful you are......"  
  
Scully looked away with an embarrassing smile.  Capturing her lips with 
his, he seduced her into believing his words.  Running his fingers 
through her hair he rolled over so she was straddling his waist in the 
bed.  
  
Literally feeling the truth in his words, she looked up in surprise at the 
pressure she felt at her bottom.  Slightly embarrassed himself, he shifted 
a little to reposition her.    
  
Scully antagonized the situation more by grinding her bottom into his 
hips with a undeniable look of 'look what I found' expression on her 
face.  She kissed him deeply and made small chuckles at the physical 
reactions of Mulder being stimulated by her movements.   
  
"Mulder?"     
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Does this mean I have permission to call you Fox now?"  
  
"How did I know that was coming?"

She asked again.   "Well?"

"Nope!"  Mulder said teasingly.

Turning back to her seriously, "I think you know what I like best."
  
At that moment Scully's mind raced backwards to all the other people 
she had seen call him by his first name.  It suddenly became clear that 
those she had thought were closer to him, were in fact never as close as 
she was.    
  
Reliving old memories, old times when things were not as simple, they 
passed the morning away, neither wanting to escape.   Being together 
after all these years, felt right. Another time, another place these hearts 
were always true to each other. Now as the bond of their friendship 
manifested itself in a new light, the two ventured into uncharted 
waters.  The only sadness that ever reached them this morning was the   
feeling of lost time and lost opportunities.  The fact of what they had 
endured only made this sweeter.  The years played out in a few hours 
time as tears were shed, laughter was held, and a faith in their trust 
renewed.  
  
"Mulder..?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Do you think this is fate?"  
  
"I'd like to think so....," he stated matter-of-factly.  "I think we were 
always meant to be together in some way......and I think after losing so 
much over the years we deserve ....this."  
  
Turning over to face her, "Scully, you said to me one time that you 
didn't believe in fate, that we choose our own paths."  
  
"Well, maybe we choose our own fates as well," she said, with 
conviction.  
  
His reassuring smile warmed her heart, knowing that her compromise 
was another example of how good they were together.

"So Dr. Mulder, when did you become such the expert at this 
relationship stuff?"  Scully was asking him sarcastically.  
  
"Since I fell in love with the most beautiful woman in world."  As he 
finished, he gave her a long passionate, tender kiss that took her breath 
away.  

Scully retreated a little bit, unsure of herself.

"That doesn't bother you, does it?"

"What?"

"When I say things like that."

Her brow furrowing again her eyes were wide.  "I guess... I'm just not 
used to it....... it just sounds a little cliche..... at least coming from you."

"Really?  Are you insulting my pillow-talk?"  Mulder teased trying to 
lighten the moment.

"No... it just doesn't feel like..... `us' ."

Considering her words carefully.  "And just how does `us' feel?"
  
Taking her time, Scully didn't want this to come out the wrong way.  "I 
think right now we feel this is somehow ...... unreal.... that we would 
finally decide to give this a try."

A contented look falling over Mulder's face, "I always hoped we 
would."
  
  
*************  
  
  
After going back home and showering separately, to Mulder's dismay, 
they had a late lunch and took the Metro from a suburb of D.C. to the 
Mall in front of Capitol Hill.  Walking hand in hand, they slowly headed 
towards the Washington Monument along the reflecting pool.  Chatting 
about nothing at all and learning each other in ways that they never 
could before,  they sat down at a bench and watched the pigeons scour 
for whatever they could find.  
  
"You think your Mom will be okay with this?"  
  
"I think so..... I don't know.   It's not like she doesn't like you in the first 
place, but I think she fears your life... your history a little bit.  Our time 
together as partners was not exactly some of the best years of her life.... 
in some ways she's never quite understood our relationship......" 

"What do you think will your Mom say?"  
  
"Honestly,  I don't know....and a part of me doesn't care.  I know she 
likes you, but more than likely this will dredge up old feelings of 
Samantha.   Lately, she intensifies everything with Sam.  After learning 
the full extent about Sam's fate....she hasn't handled things too well..."  
  
Lifting her head, she could literally feel the painful loss after searching 
for so long wave through her.  Mulder's eyes watered and stared off in 
the direction of the horizon watching the sunset.  
  
"Mulder, why did you start investigating the X-Files?"  
  
Stunned at the question, Mulder looked down at Scully, "I think you 
know why."  
  
"Well I need to hear it ....from you."  
  
Not knowing what direction this was headed he complied, "To find the 
truth about what happened to my sister."  
  
"And did you find that truth Mulder?"  
  
"In a way, yes..."  
  
"But, not the truth you were hoping for, right?"  
  
"Well....maybe not...but I found my answer."  
  
"You should know better than anyone Mulder, the truth is not always 
pretty.   Sometimes when you look too hard you might not find what 
you like."  
  
Turning his head to Scully, he finally knew where this road was leading, 
"And sometimes you find something you didn't know you were looking 
for."  
  
"It was her that brought us together, Mulder.  She became apart of me 
as well.  Apart of us.   No one can ever give you back what they 
took....... but you will always have that sister you remembered right here 
in your heart."  She took her hand and placed it gently over his chest 
showing him where his soul rested.  
  
Wrapping his arm around her, pulling her tight, they sat there and 
watched the sunset. Quietly, "She'll have to make room...... someone 
else is taking up residence there lately."   
  
Basking in the beauty of dusk in the nation's capitol, a jogger that they 
were paying no attention to stopped in front of them and bent over to 
grab his knees, cooling down from his run.  It was only when Mulder 
sensed him walking over to them did he notice the strong features and 
the bald head.  
  
"Well if it isn't my two favorite trouble-makers."  Skinner said with an 
wry grin.  
  
"Evening sir,"  Scully replied and leaned even closer to Mulder.  Pulling 
her tighter he motioned with his free hand for Skinner to join them on 
the bench.  
  
Trying not to pay close attention, Skinner sat down.   "Beautiful 
evening, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes it is, sir."  Scully replied.    
  
Taking a sideways glance at his former charges, Skinner was reluctant 
to ask the obvious, not really too concerned with their personal lives.  
However, as the Assistant Director, he felt compelled to inquire of their 
appearances.  "Agents...is there something I should know about?"  
  
Mulder looked away suspiciously, letting Scully field the first inquiry.  
"Not really.... you could say we're two old friends enjoying the 
scenery......... close friends."  
  
Still trying to cool down from his run, Skinner studied his two former 
agents as they carried on as if it was just any other day.  "So....how long 
have you two been.....uhh....?"   
 
Skinner was obviously uncomfortable if not confused at the recent 
developments, considering he had heard they weren't on speaking terms 
lately.  Gossip still filtered its way to the upper levels, even if most of 
his work was administrative.  
  
Mulder sought her permission with his eyes before answering, "Well 
really....only seriously the last few weeks."  
  
Skinner resumed his stare out across the horizon, weighing the evidence 
along with the testimony given.  "I see."  
  
Scully was a little apprehensive,  "Sir, this won't be a problem, will it?"  
  
Skinner sat back for a moment and reflectively thought, "I can't see 
how....it's not like you're partners anymore. Even so, there is no written 
rules against it.  Though you're in the same department you're 
essentially in different sub-divisions.   There are no policies about co-
workers...... coupling, if I can use the term?  Now partners....that's a 
different story.  It may not be officially written anywhere but it isn't the 
most prudent course of  action for two people who want to work 
together.  I'm sure you know that, otherwise you would not have 
waited."  

Skinner stated this in a manner that suggested even if they had been 
seeing each other while they were partners, under his supervision, he 
didn't want to know about it.  
  
"Sir," Scully continued, "what if we wanted to be partners again?"  
  
"Well,  speaking as your friend and as the Assistant Director I would 
advise against it."  
  
"And just who are we speaking to tonight?,"  Mulder offered with his 
usual sense of  paranoia intact.  
  
"Listen, I've been around a while and seen this before and normally,  
more often than not, it ends badly.  Don't think you're the first two to 
take this direction."  

No matter what his concerns were for the two, he couldn't take the wind 
out of their sails though.  "However, I can tell you if there is anyone that 
can make it work, it's probably you two..... you guys were never exactly 
.... `normal.'"  
  
Scully looked up, "That's good to know sir."  
  
"Well, I've got to get on back before I miss a phone call....you two stay 
out of trouble....." 
   
Skinner stood up, and jogged away throwing a wave over his shoulder, 
not looking in their direction.  
  
"Interesting." Mulder said.  
  
 
  
  
[Mistakes]  

  
  
The underlying darkness that had plagued the spirit of Fox Mulder for 
years was beginning to lighten.  Dreary days of despair, and truths 
never spoken were soon coming to an end. Fox Mulder would go to his 
grave with demons that screamed at him through his dreams, with 
thoughts of a life that seemed so long ago.  March 6, 1992, came and   
went as any other day had, but in the time continuum that would march 
to a different beat, time stood still that particular day.  

Marking the moments of life at the time of their passing goes unnoticed, 
but from a distance it screams to be recognized.   How appropriate that 
the flickering light of a once drowned soul reached out to find love, in 
the form of a friend, that had known no other.  
  
A past, that was never to be spoken of, ceased to exist and a future to 
be savored lit the way for one man's heart.   A long time ago Fox 
Mulder had been a different man.  One would probably not have noticed 
this later version with the tranquil smile that emanated peace.  
  
  

Monday, October 4   
VCS Bullpen  
  
Scully checked her e-mail on Monday morning to finish catching herself 
up on the latest inter-office bulletins and announcements.  A meeting 
with the Special Agent in Charge was listed for 2:00 PM this afternoon.  
The memo had also been copied to her current partner and the 
Investigative Science Unit.   Scully picked up the phone to call an 
extension which had clearly been etched in her memory for the past few 
months.  Hearing the phone ring across the large room she waited.  
  
"Mulder."  came the standard answer.    
  
"It's me,"  came Scully's usual response.  "Did you check your e-mail 
yet?"  
  
"No, I was sorting through files, trying to find a photo of a crime 
scene...........you wouldn't have seen it would you?"  Knowing Scully, he 
thought, she would have seen it laying around errantly.  
  
"Sorry Mulder, sure haven't .....but, WE have a meeting at 2:00." Scully 
sounded passively excited and this piqued Mulder's interest.  
  
Turning to his computer screen he quickly navigated to his e-mail box 
and saw a waiting message.  "WE do??....Let me see here........ok......I 
see it.....hmmph?   I wonder what this could be about,"  he wondered 
aloud.    
  
"I was hoping you could tell me, Mulder.   You guys haven't got a new 
serial perp on the loose do you?"   Mulder was shaking his head to her 
as they looked at each other from across the office.    
  
"Not that I know of Scully."  Scully could see his ASAC come up to sit 
on the edge of his desk, "Listen Scully, I'll meet you for lunch around 
noon.  I'll try to find out what's up in the mean time."  
  
"I'll be waiting with your iced tea."  
  
"Ohhh, a woman after my own heart."  Mulder hung up the phone and 
watched his immediate supervisor Assistant Special Agent in Charge 
Jeff Hastings try to ignore his phone conversation.  Mulder held true to 
his words with Scully.  He would not hide their relationship, nor would 
he flaunt it around at the office.  
  
Agent Hastings was only a year older than Mulder and respected his 
work.  Hastings was ASAC because of his term of service with the 
I.S.U. while Mulder had spent his time pursuing "other matters" as some 
of his colleagues put it.   Hastings and Mulder also shared the fact that 
they were the only Field Agents left in I.S.U. that were taught the art of   
profiling by the now infamous Bill Patterson.  Patterson's legend had 
been tarnished by the Mostow case, but his pupils were generally 
regarded the best in the business.  They weren't best buddies, but other 
than Scully, Hastings was the only agent that Mulder could call a friend.  
During their time apart, Hastings looked out for Mulder as best he 
could, knowing what a fruitless pursuit it would be.  
  
Hastings reminded Mulder of Scully in way.  Thorough, precise, 
detailed and very sharp.  Hastings busied himself for a moment by 
staring at the photo of Samantha, while Mulder finished his call.    
  
"Samantha right?"  Hastings asked in a tone as if he were trying to 
remember.  Jeff put the frame down and looked at Mulder to assure 
himself he hadn't over-stepped himself by inquiring.  
  
Mulder nodded.  
  
"I see you've read the memo about the meeting today,"  Jeff offered in a 
repetitive tone.  
  
"Yeah, Scully was just asking me about the details....what's up?"  
  
"Well, the SAC wants to open up four more positions on the team and 
focus the department more on  forensic evidence for some of the 
upcoming cases.  It's kind of going to be a test run to see if profiling 
could be helped by having pathologists on staff instead of being at the 
mercy of local medical examiners and coroners.  Developing forensic 
scientists dedicated solely to murderers and profiling, like the Bureau 
does with fingerprinting and handwriting analysis could help us.  
Having pathologists and forensic experts who are trained to handle 
these cases specifically should help us weed through the evidence 
quicker and hopefully increase efficiency."    
  
Mulder let whatever excitement he was harboring fade at the thought of 
working with Scully again as best he could,  "Speaking from experience 
Jeff, having my own personal pathologist as a partner was invaluable.  
On our cases we saw a lot of strange stuff, to put it mildly and I doubt 
our solve rate would have been anywhere near what it was without 
Scully."    The mention of her name again did not go unnoticed by Jeff.  
  
"So Mulder, ......she's that good"  Jeff held his stare at Mulder awaiting 
his response, curious to gauge his reaction.  Jeff had heard all the 
rumors, but would wait for the confirmation before pursuing the 
matter.  
  
"Yeah, Jeff ....she is.  Scully's the best I've ever seen."  Mulder looked 
away in the direction of her desk and caught her eye for split second, 
not wanting to give Jeff anymore information than was not required.

  
That was all it took to confirm Jeff's suspicions, not that it was any of 
his business, but as a general rule of thumb, humans were curious and 
he was one of his agents that had been assigned to him.  
  
Smiling and holding back a small chuckle,  "Well, don't worry, I think 
she's got the job if she wants it.  It's the other three positions we're 
worried about.   Her partner and about ten others, mostly from the 
Academy, will be going for the remaining spots.   I'll catch   
you at the meeting, and tell Agent Scully I said congratulations."  
  
  
*************  
  
11:42 AM  


Mulder checked his watch and noticed the noon hour was twenty 
minutes away.  Quickly looking up to her desk, he noticed Scully was 
still gone.  She had an autopsy earlier and said she would be back for 
lunch. He grabbed his black trench coat, checked the position of his tie 
and headed for the diner that they usually ate at in downtown D.C.  
  
Walking into the restaurant at precisely 12:01, he looked around and 
found the top of her head at of one of the booths.  Her auburn tresses 
were not hard for anyone to notice especially at the fiery pitch they 
seemed to have taken lately.   

He failed to notice Holland sitting across from her as he leaned down to 
peck her on the cheek.  She jumped at first from the surprise of not 
hearing Mulder walk up, but quickly leaned in and returned the show of 
affection.  Mulder looked at her intently as she scooted over to make 
room for him in the booth.   Scully had never been one to offer public 
shows of affection, but this brought to light the changing aspects of their 
relationship.  Curious as to why she was moving over, Mulder caught 
her eye and looked over to the left to see Agent Holland trying to look 
away and ignore the two.  
  
After seeing Holland, Mulder reached out to shake his hand,  "Oh, 
sorry, Holland....nice to see you again."   The younger agent was a little 
flushed and returned the greeting with a nod.  
  
Leaning over to Scully he whispered, "Do I need to refresh your 
technique of ditching your partner again, Scully?"     
  
Scully suppressed her grin and said in the most serious voice she could 
muster, "Not unless you want me to practice on you."  
  
"Nope.... can't have that."  Mulder replied quickly.  
  
Holland was feeling suspiciously like a third wheel now. "Hey guys, I 
can take off if you would like ......"    
  
Mulder quickly sat him back down with an arm gesture, "Sorry Holland, 
just a little reminiscing about the old days.   You need to stay and hear 
this too."  
   
Scully turned into Mulder with a quizzical look,  "This isn't bad news is 
it.?"  
  
"No, no, not at all."  Mulder then proceeded to inform them both about 
the details he knew that ASAC Hastings had related to him.  After 
telling all that he knew he sat back to gauge the reactions.    
  
Without much surprise, Scully was excited with the possibility to spend 
more time with Mulder, professionally, and was taken back at what 
Hastings had said about her chances for acceptance.  Joining the 
I.S.U.'s profiling team was a definite step up that ladder as well as an 
increase 
in pay.  
  
"Agent Holland, your inexperience might work against you, but I expect 
your chances will be better seeing as how you have worked with Scully 
for the past year.  Don't go into the interview and expect the worst.  I'll 
probably be in there during the interviews so you better make Scully 
look good," Mulder ended in a joking matter.  
  
After eating and talking about everything from Bureau legends to 
yesterdays football scores, Scully shifted in her seat to signal Mulder 
she was ready to leave.  Holland also picked up on this and departed in 
order to leave them alone.  
  
Leaning into Mulder, Scully looked up, "So.....back to where we started 
huh.?"  Scully could see some uneasiness in Mulder's eyes all during 
lunch and especially at the end of her last question.  She had a feeling 
where his fears lay and she wanted to flesh them out before it went any 
further.    
  
"You gonna tell me what's floating around in that head of yours, 
Mulder?"    
  
"I....I....Scully, I can't go back to the way it was before........I would like 
to work with you again....but .....I don't want to lose what we just...."  
Mulder looked of horror at the possibility even existing.  Scully could 
see the concern and again came to his rescue.  
  
Taking his hand in hers,  "I don't want to lose this either, besides, don't 
you think it's a little late to go back now?"   
  
Mulder squeezed her tighter and chuckled softly.   "Agent Scully, it's 
way past a little late now."  
  
"Just think Mulder, it will be like old times again, only slightly 
different," her eyes danced in delight at the prospect.  
  
"No....better.....now we'll be able to work together more often and share 
the motel room on the road."   Mulder leered down to Scully who was 
giving him that 'you're-impossible' look that he had seen many times.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure the Bureau would approve that as a cost preventative 
measure. The question is do you think we can stand to be around each 
other that much?"  She asked in a half-serious manner.  
  
"You know, we'll just have to find some way to survive."  Mulder 
squeezed her hand.  Letting her out to go freshen up, he paid the 
check.     
  

*************


Conference Room #1
3:32 PM

The meeting went as Mulder expected.  A long, tediously boring 
introspective to the reasoning by the Bureau's research committee, 
offered a few insights to the 'experiment.'  Budgetary reasons were 
somehow involved, as usual, and everyone took the news as a positive.   
The Special Agent in Charge, David West, also seemed genuinely 
pleased and broke the meeting up after a short question and answer 
session.  
  
Waiting for Mulder outside the conference room door, Scully told her 
partner to go on ahead and she would catch up later.   Mulder excused 
himself from the crowd and went to see her.  
  
"You coming over tonight, Mulder?"  She looked up to him with a 
question of anticipation.
  
"Yeah, Scully....I'm gonna run a little late.  I've got to run some errands, 
run by the cleaners and such,  so I'll probably see you around 7:30 - 
8:00, ok?"  
   
"I'll hold dinner for you and.....if you're running by your apartment, 
why don't you bring a few.....things...to make your stay a little more 
comfortable?"  Scully looked away in a playful, manner to put him at 
ease.  
  
"Why Agent Scully.....are you coming on to me?"  Mulder leered.  
  
Scully put on her most professional, all-business mask,  "Your 
investigative techniques never fail to amaze me, Agent Mulder."   
  
Mulder squeezed her shoulder and returned to the intense conversation 
rambling on in the conference room.  Egos were warring between some 
of the other agents and Mulder was looking for cover.  If he had been 
paying closer attention he might of noticed the eaves-dropper that had 
taken a sudden interest in Scully and Mulder's little chit-chat.  

He didn't and proceeded to lighten up the room with some of his witty 
retorts to ease the sudden hostility of the room.  Mulder and the rest of 
the profilers were all a little stubborn from time to time and breaking up 
a little friendly disagreement was commonplace.  
  
Agent Colton was just about to walk around the corner when he had 
heard two familiar voices and stopped short, remembering his most 
memorable confrontation with the pair, and keenly took note of their 
conversation and the tones that were used.  He would file this away for 
later use, if the rumors he had also been hearing were true.   
  
  
*************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland
8:58 PM

  
After a late dinner, the two sat on the couch and peacefully enjoyed the 
comfortable silence and the presence of each other.   Words were not 
always required for them.  The years of partnership had allowed them to 
communicate with each other through other means.  A look here, a 
nudge there and the other would know how to react.  
  
A couple of looks here and a nudge there was telling Scully that 
something was on Mulder's mind.  Unsure, she attempted to find out 
what was puzzling him.  She still wasn't sure about him since the 
conversation at lunch.  

"You're going to hurt yourself, Mulder, if you keep that look on your 
face."  
  
Broken from his train of thought, Mulder went about unburdening his 
soul, hoping she would understand.  "Dana, I don't uh.... ."  
  
The use of her first name along with his statement of bewilderment set 
off alarms in her mind.  The look on her face measured one of concern 
and curiosity  
  
"Scully, all day.... I can't get this image out of my head.  I know I'm 
being paranoid, but the relationships I've been in don't .... well I just 
don't have a good track record."
  
Mulder's reference to others as well as remembering Diana Fowley still 
sent small pangs of jealousy through Scully.  She remained quiet while 
he proceeded.  
  
Taking her hand, "I just can't afford to mess this up...... that's all."  
  
"What makes you think you'll mess this up?"  
  
"It just seems to be one of the few things I've been good at doing all 
my life."  
  
Sighing, Scully sat forward with her elbows on her knees and her chin 
resting in her hands.  Her voice slightly mumbled because of her 
position, "Mulder, it hasn't even been a full forty-eight hours yet and 
.....  well I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Your paranoia is about as 
endless as time itself."  
  
Reflecting in the moment, Scully continued.  "So....  What are we going 
to do about this, Mulder?   Are we going to go around walking on egg-
shells or are we going to try and make this work?"  
  
"Scully, I didn't mean...  Yes, we're going to make this work, but I..  I'm 
just afraid ....I just don't want you to ever feel like this was a mistake"  

Incredulously, "How could this ever be a mistake?"

Laughing at himself for a moment, "I don't know..." 

Looking at her from the side, "I think you've just witnessed a Mulder 
moment of insecurity...."   Smiling more at himself than for Scully's 
benefit, "....don't worry it will pass after a while."
  
Pulling him down so that his head rested in her lap, "Mulder, I can't tell 
you everything will always be great between us....yes, our belief 
systems are a little incompatible....we're going to fight, we're going to 
challenge each other.... like always...... but don't think for one moment 
I'll love you any less...... if anything.... I'll love you more..... because 
that's who we are, who we've always been."  

"You know me ... I like to worry."  Another self-deprecating smile 
found its way to his face and they just stared at each other.

Looking, yearning, wanting the other to know the secrets in their hearts 
that hadn't found a way to their lips yet.  Lost in each other's gaze they 
could stare away infinitely, not afraid to say anything that spoke 
through those eyes.  

Heavy moments like they had been sharing more often recently still felt 
a little uncomfortable, but in a good way.  Agreeing to take things at a 
proper pace, Mulder sat up.    
  
"You want some coffee?  I need a fix right about now, if you don't 
mind?"  
  
"Yeah, I'd like that."  
  
Returning to couch with their drinks, he found Scully flipping through 
the channels looking for an old movie to curl up with.  Stopping on 
Jerry Springer for a second she just shook her head.  No one could ever 
really stop themselves from peeking at the show, no matter who you 
were, and no one could every really stand to keep it on the channel 
either.   
  
Reaching for her mug, "You know Mulder, it's pretty sad when 
professional wrestling looks more entertaining than this garbage."  
 
"At least with professional wrestling we know it's fake." Mulder said 
and prayed for her to keep clicking channels. Finally they stopped on 
one of the movie channels and watched the last hour of some action 
thriller both of them had seen it before.  They relaxed in each other's 
arms talking and watching.    
  
Sometime around 11:30, Mulder awoke with a sleeping Scully at his 
side.  Gently waking her with a kiss to her temple, "Scully?......Are you 
ready for bed?"   With her eyes still shut she nodded her assent.  
  
Mulder pushed himself up carefully so he wouldn't disturb Scully 
anymore than need be and scooped her up in his arms.  He gently set 
her down on her side of the bed and opened her dresser drawer to 
retrieve her purple silk pajamas.  He always wondered about the 
practical pajamas she wore, but decided they made her even more 
desirable.  
  
"Scully?  You want any help putting these on, or do you want to sleep 
in your clothes tonight," he whispered into her ear.  

Looking around, surprised to be in her bedroom, she nodded her head, 
"Yeah, just help me with my shoes will you?"  
  
Mulder, knelt down and took her shoes and socks off as delicately as 
he could.  Hesitantly, she pulled her sweatshirt off and started to 
unbutton her jeans, all the while taking sidelong glances at Mulder in a 
very self-conscious manner. 

He had seen her naked before and would again, hopefully this time in a 
better environment than the Antarctica.  Meaning well, "You're not 
going shy on me now, are you?"

Her corresponding silence to his humor clued him into her modesty.  
"Ahhh....maybe I should go... I didn't want to make you feel 
uncomfortable."

"No.." Pursing her lips together, "I guess I don't undress in front of 
people very often."  Sitting there in her jeans and a plain white bra, 
Mulder felt himself blush a little at the situation.
  
Shyly looking away, Mulder regained his composure and stood up to 
get her top.  Without turning back around to her, he handed it back to 
Scully. After finishing her buttons, she cleared her throat letting him 
know it was all right to turn around.  

In a strange way, after all this time, Mulder thought it was kind of 
endearing how she acted.  It was also typical Scully.  Mulder 
remembered her providing him a change of clothes one time out on a 
case when he had been `detained' by some military police.  Acting as if 
nothing was out of the ordinary he began changing right there in front 
of her while carrying on a conversation.  Not giving it a second thought, 
Scully had turned around while carrying on the conversation in order to 
give him some privacy.  Hopefully this was all it was about.  They had 
come so far for there to be any misgivings now.

Finding her dressed half in pajamas and half jeans he kissed her and 
whispered into her ear, "Goodnight, Scully." 
    
"Are you staying?  She said in a sleepy voice.  
  
"If you want me to."  
  
"Just do me one favor."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Lose the suit, G-man.  I don't feel like sleeping with an FBI agent 
tonight."  
  
She finished with her jeans and slipped into the bottom of the pajamas, 
and rolled into bed.  Mulder walked around the bed, took off his 
clothes, save his boxers, and undershirt.  She looked up into his eyes, 
lifted the sheets for him and patted the mattress for him to join her.  He 
crawled in and waited for her to settle herself like she had done the night 
before last with her head on his chest and his left arm pulling her close.

Inhaling her scent that clung to everything in the bed he whispered 
again.  "Whenever you're ready."

The rhythm of his steady and content heartbeat soon had her sleeping 
soundly.  He let out another deep breath and slipped to the netherworld 
of dreams with her.  
  
  
  



[Memories Past]  
  
  
  
Thursday, October 7,   
  
  
Thursday arrived with little fanfare.  Scully and Mulder arrived together 
as they had the previous three days to work with a little more spring in 
their steps and a sense of happiness that had been long missing from 
their lives.  Arriving early to catch breakfast at the Hoover Building's 
cafeteria, Scully would be officially interviewed for the I.S.U.'s Profiling 
Unit.  Even though her qualifications insured her success, she was still 
nervous about being put under the microscope by other agents, who 
had a knack for being like Mulder.  His powerful interrogating skills, 
along with the other interviewers would be sharp.  

To avoid any signs of inappropriate behavior they agreed he should not 
be present for the interview.    ASAC Hastings agreed and at precisely 
9:30, Agent Dana Scully entered the primary VCS conference room to 
begin.    
  
Two hours later, she exited with a smile on her face and the faint sound 
of laughter emanating from the room.  Mulder looked up from his phone 
conversation to see her walking his way.  As he dispatched with the 
other person on the line, he hung up the phone with a questioning look 
for Scully.  She just continued to beam. 

"So...how did it go?  Was it as bad as you expected?"    
  
Unable to stop smiling, "No it was quite unexpected.  The actual 
interview was over in thirty minutes.   It seems Hastings told you 
correctly.  All I had to do was show up and it's mine if I want it."  
  
This brought about an even stronger look of curiosity from Mulder.  
"So what...what kept you so long?  
  
Scully was having way too much fun with this, "Oh....they just wanted 
to hear some 'Spooky'  Mulder stories."  She turned to leave before he 
could respond.     
  
As she was leaving, Mulder raised his voice just below shouting level, 
"Wench!"  
  
Scully kept her back turned and laughed out loud, knowing she had 
won this round as she went off to find her soon to be ex-partner down 
in the lab.
  
  
*************  
  
  
At lunch Scully filled Mulder in some of the details.  Since hers was the 
first interview, Mulder was still not privy to some of the finer points to 
this arrangement.  She informed him that the 'experiment' would last for 
a period of five months and the top two forensic scientists would retain 
the positions while the other two would re-transfer back to their 
previous positions and be used in cases of emergency.  Nothing like on 
the job training.  The program was designed to save time, money, and 
resources, but could also be terminated at any time.  
  
"So Mulder, got any plans for the weekend," Scully asked knowingly.  
  
Mulder was jolted back to reality, by the reminder of his earlier phone 
call.  The semi-pained look on his face gave him away instantly.  
"Uhhhh....funny you should ask, actually I do.   My mother just called 
me this morning and needs me to fix some things with the house in 
West Tisbury for the winter.  We're closing it down for the off-season 
and since the stroke she can't handle all the physical labor anymore like 
she used to."  
  
"Want any help Mulder,"  she asked without any hesitation.    
  
"Would you mind?  There's not a whole lot to do except put the storm 
windows back up, check the gas, and secure the locks for the winter.  I 
could finish by mid-day Saturday if we leave tomorrow after work and 
spend the rest of the weekend on the Vineyard."  Mulder was looking at 
her with a hopeful expression that was somewhere between begging 
and pleading.  
  
"Will your mom be there to help?"   
  
"No, I told her to stay in Greenwich this year, she doesn't need to drive 
all that way just to watch me do all the work."  Mulder was looking 
away.  
  
"Still avoiding her?"    
  
"Well, I wouldn't say avoiding.  Maybe strategically planning the 
structured visits, but not avoiding," Mulder offered in a dry tone.  
  
"Whatever the case, I would love to see the Vineyard.  I'll finally 
get to see where you grew up and the house you lived in.  That alone 
would be worth it."    
  
Mulder winced at the thought of her seeing his pictures when he was 
younger, but was thankful for the company, especially hers.   "Actually I 
grew up in Chilmark, just south of Providence, but after mom and dad 
divorced, I did spend some time in West Tis."  
  

*************

  
  
Mulder went home Thursday night to pack a bag for the trip, feed the 
remaining fish still clinging to life, then headed back over to Scully's for 
the night.  Even after five days it had felt like ages since he had spent a 
night on the couch, but he wasn't complaining.
  
He had agreed to pick up some take-out on the way over and she was 
setting the table when he arrived.  "Honey, I'm home," Mulder yelled 
out.  

Scully looked up with a curious smile, "We aren't to the part where pet 
names include `honey' and `sweetheart' , are we Mulder?"  
  
Surprised, Mulder walked over to her, "You don't like it?"  She helped 
him remove the dinner from his overstuffed arms and reached up on her 
tiptoes to peck his cheek.

"Let's just say... it doesn't quite fit you."
     
Mulder looked momentarily miffed at the comment.
  
"Did you pack Mulder," Scully asked without looking, while filling their 
plates with various forms of Chinese food from Wong's around the 
block.   

"Yeah, it's in the car.   I figured we could take mine since it's a little 
better on the mileage."   
  
"Sure, that sounds good to me."  They both sat down to a relaxing 
evening and discussed the plans for tomorrow.  Leaving at 5:00 sharp, 
they could probably get to the island by 11:00 sharp to catch the last 
ferry before Saturday morning.     
  
  
*************  
  
After a grueling day in conference, and one spent in an autopsy bay, 
they hit the beltway heading north at exactly 5:08 PM.  They had 
ditched a little early, but this being Friday, they were in no way alone.  
  
The trip was for the most part quiet.  Scully slipped out of her shoulder 
belt to lean her head on the armrest.  Every couple of miles, Mulder's 
right hand would stroke her hair and settle her into a sound sleep.  It 
had constantly amazed him since their first night sleeping together how 
tranquilizing his presence was to her. Mulder's thoughts soon drifted to 
another road trip when he had seen her sleep.  Their last case together 
as partners. 

The road sweeping by, Mulder retreated into his thoughts of the last 
year.  The weeks leading up to their end, the time apart and of course 
that night when they reconciled.  How close he was to leaving D.C. for 
Syracuse and how Scully had pulled him back, again.

Sitting there he also imagined how many times he had seen her sleep 
beside him and how many times he had wanted to touch her just as he 
was now.  The weeks seemed to be flying by in an incredible speed that 
he couldn't fathom.  Mulder also recalled those early days when he 
wished he had never met Scully.  At least not in the way they had been 
thrown together.  Past any guilt that usually came with these thoughts, 
Mulder realized he was more selfish than even he could imagine.

Playing his favorite game of `what if,' Mulder used to imagine what 
would have happened if he had never had her as a partner.  Would he 
have noticed her?  Would he have even been interested in someone like 
her?  Would she have ever considered dating someone like him?

The game wearing on as the miles flew by, his thoughts darkened as he 
wondered how he would have survived and where he would be without 
her.   Of course this question always got redirected at her life as well 
with depressing results.  Did he really deserve to be this happy and was 
she deserving of him..... or more?

Remembering the later days of their partnership when they had grown 
so close, Mulder could recall his intense feelings for her that were so 
confusing.  Loving her was never the problem, it was the fact that he 
knew it was unprofessional to be in love with her and that's what hurt.  
It hurt to think that the only person you could imagine spending the rest 
of your life with could never be more than a partner.... a friend.

Remembering Scully's own words, `So close, yet so far.'  A mental 
image of him sitting in Dr. Kosseff's office explaining, `Yes, Karen.  The 
only person that has ever truly cared for me... and I have to go and fall 
in love with her.... and I like it, but it could never happen because we're 
partners and you're not supposed to fall in love with your partner.'  The 
proverbial catch twenty-two winding its way out of control.

Shaking his head at himself, the imaginary session with Dr. Kosseff 
would go on for hours until Mulder would resign himself to the 
wrongness of it all.  This was how he would fight the feelings that 
sometimes overwhelmed him.  He was human after all and a male at 
that. He knew it was a natural part of the male and female relationship 
to have these feelings and thoughts.  

He often wondered if Scully had thought about it much.  With the 
events involving Eddie van Blundht and of course his hallway a few 
years back, he knew it had crossed her mind at least twice.  

Looking back down to her resting comfortably, those days seemed so 
long ago.  No, he had never been very romantic, but somehow they had 
found their way to giving it a try.  Maybe in their days of being partners 
the fear of ruining what they had was plausible if not possible, but now 
those fears were as foreign to him as another language.  In an instant he 
could only think and feel one thing.  `I would do it all over again just to 
have her here with me like this.'  Sometimes being selfish, he thought to 
himself, wasn't all bad.

New York had been easier to navigate than usual and after paying the 
various tolls, they were in sight of their destination with an hour to 
spare.  
  
The ferry let them onto the secluded island at 10:45.  Another fifteen 
minutes and the old house would be in sight as well.  
  
"Wake up sleepyhead," Mulder nudged her, "we're here."  
  
"Hmmm...," Scully said groggily.  "We there yet?"  
  
"Yes, we're here."  Mulder raked his fingers through her hair, pulling it 
away from her face, where it had fallen over to spill in her eyes.  Scully 
rubbed her eyes in amazement that she had slept so long.  Looking 
around, she noticed they were indeed pulled up into the driveway in 
front of the steps of a modest-sized, white painted house with a huge 
porch that stretched the width of the front of the home.   To one side 
was an old fashioned wooden bench-swing, hanging from the roof of 
the porch.  
  
Scully, smiled and recognized the house as being one built during that 
faux-Victorian style that was popular back during the late forties and 
fifties.  She had seen plenty of these on her stops with her family as she 
had traveled from city to city following her siblings as the child of a US 
Navy Captain.   Captain William Scully, Sr. would have had a house like 
this if he had ever stuck around to become admiral.  Growing up, a 
captain's furnishings were not as grand as the one she was now 
scoping out, but their family had lived close, grown up close and for the 
most part remained close.   She had preferred it that way. 

"Wow Mulder,....I had no idea this place would be this....this..."  
  
"I think the word you're looking for is big, Scully,"  Mulder offered in a 
slightly self-conscious tone.  
  
"No....although it is huge....I was going to say beautiful."  She would 
save the "admirals house" status for later, detecting Mulder's 
unassuming behavior.   Coming back here was always sensitive for 
Mulder and she didn't want to make him feel anymore uncomfortable 
than possible.  
  
"I'll get the bags, here are the keys to the front door."  Mulder handed 
her the keys after unlocking the trunk.  Scully grabbed one of the 
smaller bags and proceeded up the front stairs to the porch.  It was a 
decent set of stairs that had smaller steps than most, increasing the 
affect of someone who might be approaching the front door for the first 
time.  A more familiar occupant would easily take a couple at the time 
to hurry himself along.  

Sliding the key into the door first, then the deadbolt she opened the 
door slowly to enjoy its weight and sound as it creaked open.  The 
smells that hit her nose told her that this place was full of past 
memories.  The sensation of detecting these memories along with fact of 
knowing a little about the owner's history made her heart physically 
ache.
    
She thought to herself, 'How could anyone grow up in a house this 
beautiful and have such a warped family?'   An old, wood-laden, odor of 
the different types of wood that made up this house assaulted her nasal 
passages next and a faint smile crossed her lips at the thought of her 
grandparents house that had always managed to smell the same way.  
  
By this time Mulder had ascended the stairs to join her.  Not saying a 
word he sat the suitcases down inside the door and walked up behind 
her.  Placing his hands on her shoulders, he joined her in silent 
contemplation as they took in the sight before them. 
  
All Mulder could do was whisper, "A long time ago, Scully,  a long 
time ago."  Although she wasn't sure, she took it to mean he was talking 
about the night his father was killed. She walked around exploring the 
surroundings, and Mulder watched in curious amusement.  "I'll take 
these upstairs right quick Scully, make yourself at home"    
  
Mulder left her to her exploration and proceeded to the master bedroom 
where he found everything as it had been left.   Before walking down 
the stairs, he couldn't help himself, he poked his head into his old room 
and then stuck his head into what had been his room when he would 
visit his dad.  

By that time, Scully had also climbed the stairs to find Mulder staring 
blankly at the room that had been forever changed all those years ago. 
Much had changed.  His toys and little boy possessions had long since 
been put up.  The room was bland and sterile, ready for other little 
children of families who often rented the house for summer vacations 
and weekend getaways.  
  
"Your room Mulder?" Scully had placed a comforting arm along his 
back to give him permission to relive the past if he needed to.  
  
"Yeah, I can't resist looking in sometimes to remember what it was like 
so long ago."    

Mulder was speaking clearly and with less emotion than she would 
have expected.  
  
Since that trip to Providence, which seemed a lifetime ago, Scully had 
never been more painfully aware of how destructive a trip through 
'memory lane' with Mulder could be.  In her nightmares, she could still 
see Mulder pointing that gun at her, not knowing what was going 
through his mind.   The fact Mulder's heart had guided him to the 
correct decision that night had ironically strengthened their bond, 
whereas in others it might have sealed a doomed fate.  Allowing her to 
comfort him as he bared his soul that night, he finally let go of the 
monster that haunted him the most.  
  
Sensing Scully's reflective moment, Mulder squeezed her hand and led 
her to a room across the hall.  "My demons are fading Scully, all thanks 
to you ....and the good memories are starting to takeover, at least more 
often now."  
  
"This is the master bedroom.  I've never had any reason to sleep in it 
before.....so if you don't mind we'll take this room."  
  
Scully's eyes widened at the sight of a beautiful four-poster, king size, 
antique, mahogany bed that was centered in the room along the back 
wall facing a large bay window.  "Oh my God, Mulder ....this is 
gorgeous.....it must be at least fifty years old."  
  
"Yeah, it was a wedding present to my parents.  They received it from 
my father's folks as part of a set,"  as he gestured to the adjacent wall 
where Scully's breath was taken away again.  A large mahogany bureau 
with a wide mirror, held up by mahogany spires on gold faced hinges,  
completed the room's effect.  
  
Scully slowly walked to the bed and sunk down on it's extraordinarily 
comfortable mattress.  "This is incredible Mulder, truly incredible."  
  
Mulder was now a tiny bit embarrassed, "My father's parents were 
pretty well off. Even though I never saw much of them they usually 
made an impression.  Look, make yourself comfortable, I'm gonna 
check on the heat and warm this place up a little bit.  Winter always 
arrives to the island first."   Mulder left Scully alone to finish exploring 
and do whatever she needed to do to get ready for bed.  
  
Mulder turned up the thermostat and heard the requisite knocking and 
squalling that accompanied the first rumblings of the furnace as it was 
awakened from its sleep since last spring and proceeded to check the 
doors.   He returned to find Scully had found a fresh change of sheets 
from the closet and the massive comforter that spread across the   
great expanse of the bed.  She was busy tucking in corners not paying 
any attention to Mulder as he leaned against the door frame and 
watched her dutiful chore of preparing the bed .  It was almost amusing 
to see her slide around the huge bed in her silk pajamas to finish her 
task.  The size of the bed only helped to make Scully's petite frame even 
smaller in contrast.  
  
Sensing his presence after a few minutes,  "You just gonna watch me all   
night."  
  
Leaving his post at the door, Mulder moved over to wrap his arms 
around her as she face away towards the bathroom,  "Have I ever told 
you I love your PJ's"  
  
Scully scoffed at the question, "I seem to recall you mentioning it once 
before."  
  
"Well, for the record, woman, you are extremely hot in silk."   Scully 
blushed in earnest this time and turned in his arms to kiss him, and 
murmured, "I seem to recall a certain pair of silk boxers that you looked 
kind of cute in, also."    

Mulder pulled her down with him onto the bed and nuzzled his face in 
the crook of her neck between her ear and shoulder, kissing his way up 
her jawline to meet her beautiful pouty lips. In the vast expanse of this 
monstrous bed, they rolled to the center and slept peacefully in each 
other's arms.    
  


*************
  
  
Saturday, October 9,   
  
  
Saturday morning arrived with sunlight trickling through the soft, sheer 
drapes and into Mulder's eyes.   He looked over to see a smiling, sleepy 
Scully laying face down across his arm.  Not able to resist, he rolled 
over and awakened her with a kiss.  Her eyes fluttered open,  "Morning,  
handsome."     
  
"Morning, beautiful."  Pulling her into his arms so that she rested on 
top of him he lazily kissed his way across her cheek and down her neck, 
stopping before anything got out of hand.  He had sensed a small 
hesitancy at furthering their relationship since Saturday night and was 
satisfied to take it slow if that was what it took.   "I love it when I wake 
up with you in my arms, Scully."     

"You aren't going to go and get all sappy on me are you, Mulder?"

"Hey.... some guys like sappy..." He replied sounding like he had been 
insulted.
  
Grinning  "I just never thought it would be you"  She then continued to 
kiss him in the same manner in which he had just done.    
   
After showering, and getting dressed they made for the car to grab 
breakfast wherever they could find it.   Settling for an antique version of 
an IHOP, they returned to finish the work of securing the house for the 
winter.  While Mulder found the storm windows and tools, Scully went 
about covering all the major pieces of furniture, checking the windows   
and locks.    After checking the gas supply and turning off the pilot 
light, they were finished by 1:00 PM.  
  
"Hey Scully, since the place is all ready, why don't we grab our bags 
and head out to a little bed and breakfast down the road.  We can spend 
the rest of the day on the beach and stay in for breakfast tomorrow 
morning.  What do you say?"  Mulder again was silently pleading with 
her with his eyes.  She knew that this house held secrets that he didn't 
want to delve into and with her plans for tonight she was more than 
willing to part ways with his parents old bedroom.  
  
"Sure, I think that's a good idea......just make sure they serve 
lunch.....we might miss breakfast," she said with a mischievous look.    
Mulder nodded his understanding and remarkably held back an 
innuendo'esque remark that might threaten tonight's possibilities not 
wanting  to chance it.  
  
  
*************  

5:03 PM
  
  
After checking into the bed and breakfast, The Vineyard House, they 
spent a leisurely afternoon walking up and down the shore enjoying the 
crisp wind and the sounds that accompanied the sea.     
  
Finding a slightly elevated sand dune, they sat down beside each other 
and continued their quiet ceremony of observance.   The sun was about 
to begin its daily ritual of disappearance on the horizon just behind 
them.  A crisp breeze blending with the rhythmic sound of surf and 
seagulls created a feeling of enchantment. As the sun descended into 
its nightly cloak in the western sky, it left the eastern coast in a slowly 
darkening blue cover.  
  
"You never told me how beautiful this area is, Mulder."  
  
"I guess I just took it for granted most of the time.  Growing up here, 
you're not aware that most places aren't this nice."  
  
"That's me, all right.....most places."  
  
Turning towards her his curiosity was piqued. "What was it like 
growing up, not knowing where you would be living in a few years?"  
  
A gentle smile formed on her lips as Scully warmly thought about her 
childhood and moving around the country with her family.  "It was....  I 
don't know.  I didn't have anything to compare it with really.  Most of 
the people we were friends with were in the same boat, so we didn't 
think it was too unusual."  
  
"For the most part, we knew that whomever we were friends with 
would not be around too long, so we didn't get too attached.   It wasn't 
until high school that we rebelled.  One by one, right down the line, we 
all rebelled in some way or the other."  
  
"Really?  How did you rebel, Scully?"  Mulder was interested at the 
prospect of a young insurgent Dana Scully.  
  
"Well... mine was kind of a two parter.  I ran off with some friends one 
weekend near graduation when I was a senior instead of going on a 
church youth event, we got drunk....you know, the usual teenage stuff."  
  
"Oooh, wow.  Ms. Wild Thing, huh?"  
  
Scully nudged over to Mulder leaning into his shoulder, "You probably 
wouldn't have recognized me back then."  
  
"What was the second rebellion?"  
  
Trying to forget her train of thought, "Oh, you know that one.  The 
Bureau."  
  
"Was it really a rebellion... joining the FBI?"  
  
"Not for me, but my parents saw it that way, so I call it my second one."  
  
"They must have seen it coming.  Forensic pathology doesn't leave a 
whole lot of options open."  
  
"True, but they didn't know that was my area of specialization.  I kind of 
kept that piece of information to myself until graduation day.  They 
were under the assumption that all medical doctors spend their lives in  
preparation of taking care of others.  I mean, it was an option..... going 
into general practice and of course still is, but I wanted more than just 
routine checkups and a prescription service for hemorrhoids."  
  
"I bet that was a fun day."  
  
"Keeping that tidbit of knowledge from them was a mistake I hadn't 
thought of."  

Searching the horizon for the long lost memory, Scully's mood darkened 
a bit.  "It didn't quite work out like I thought it would."  
  
"By then, I was two weeks from entering the Academy.  They recruited 
me the last semester and wanted me to do my residency at Maryland."  
  
Mulder tilted his head towards her intently interested in hearing this 
side of Scully that he had never known.  
  
"When I told my parents, the look on their faces was...... I'll never forget 
it.  Mom was disappointed, but she knew I wouldn't be happy unless I 
was doing what I wanted."  
  
"And your Dad?"  
  
Focusing on a point of sand where a seagull was pecking away at some 
unknown food source, "Dad was devastated...... and that's what hurt the 
most.  I thought he would have been proud.... happy that I was going to 
work for the country he had devoted his life to."  
  
"He just thought it was a foolish idea that I would end up regretting.  
Melissa was on my side, she helped me smooth things over with them, 
but things were never quite the same between us."  
  
"I had no idea..."  
  
Smiling softly at Mulder's attempt of comfort.  "Though, I think in the 
end, before he died,  he understood that it was my life to live."  
  
"I wish I could have met him.... it sounds like we had a lot in common."  
  
Surprised at this insightful deduction, "What do you mean, Mulder?"  
  
"I mean... it just sounds like we both feel the same way.  Sometimes to a 
fault.  Protective, loving.. wanting the best for you."  
  
Reflecting on the truth of his words, Scully continued.  "The next few 
years were very confusing for me.  I was literally on my own.  No 
support from Mom or Dad and little contact with my brothers."  
  
"Is that when you met Jack?"  
  
Surprised that Mulder had even remembered him, she thought fondly of 
her memories of Jack for the first time in years.  

"Yeah, that was when I met Jack Willis.  I would like to sit here and say 
it was the biggest mistake of my life, but I can't.  He was there for me 
when I was finding myself, who I wanted to be.  Even though we didn't 
work out, I still cared for him very much."  
  
Mulder remained quiet, while his thoughts drifted to a time when he had 
gotten in over his head with a certain sophisticated young classmate at 
Oxford, Phoebe Green.   They had both used one another to find 
themselves at a very impressionable age where the line between naivete 
and innocence was thin.    

"Do you ever regret it?"  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"No, joining the Bureau."  
  
Raking her fingers through the fine sand in front of her making criss-
cross patterns, "I could say no... never, but it wouldn't be the truth."  
  
"There are some days that I can't stand it.  Seeing the heinous crimes 
perpetrated on victims, especially children, it makes my stomach turn.  I 
know why you have nightmares now... I get them once in a while too.   
How do you stop them?"  
  
Wistfully grinning, "I wish I knew, Scully.  My odd sleeping habits are 
probably a by-product of them."  
  
Putting his arm around Scully, he pulled her closer into his side.  "After 
Jack, what happened next?"  
  
"Well..... you.  You happened, the X-files...... that's it."  
  
Uncertain about how to ask,  "You ever regret coming back to me in the 
basement?  I know Skinner offered you an out after you were returned."  
  
Looking up into his eyes, she answered without skipping a beat.  "No, 
never....... and Mulder, that is the truth."  

Sensing a deeper reason for his question, "Do you, Mulder?  Do you 
regret having me there?"  
  
Pausing a few seconds, "There are a lot of things I regret in my life and 
yes, some of  those things have to do with you, but I never would have 
survived without you.  I was too selfish.... I always have been.  
Especially when it comes to you."  
  
Scully pulled him tighter this time with her own arm wrapped around his 
waist.  A few reflective moments later she couldn't stand her own 
curiosity.  
  
"What things, Mulder?  What do you regret about me?"  
  
"Nothing 'about' you, just some things that 'happened' to you.  I regret 
how they constantly used you to try and get me to stop looking."

Mulder picked up a seashell and threw it into the surf that was slowly 
creeping towards them.  "Most of all, I regret the year we spent apart.  I 
know we needed the time apart, but I wish there was another way we 
could have arrived where we are now without losing a year."  
  
Burrowing herself into his side again as the wind from the surf kicked 
up, "I know, Mulder....... but look at it this way........ it might not be as 
good now if we hadn't taken the time to learn how to be friends again."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
High tide was slowly rolling in at the water's edge.  Returning  later, 
they dined at a seafood restaurant that had been recommended by the 
owners of the bed and breakfast. Softly lit, and romantic the restaurant 
set the atmosphere of an old New England town, washing away at its 
edges, existing only at the will of nature's design.  
  
Slowly and wordlessly walking back to the old house, with their hands 
joined, they both reminisced on their journey over the last few years.  
  
Approaching the door to their room, Scully took out the key and fiddled 
with it in the lock until the door unlatched.  Mulder covered his mouth, 
hiding the small amusement, wondering if nerves had gotten the better 
of his usually controlled, former partner.  
  
Safely inside, Scully made her way to the bathroom in order to calm 
down, hoping the few extra moments would stop her heart from racing.  
The stairs weren't that steep in the small house, were they?  
  
Exiting the bathroom, she found Mulder sitting on the side of the bed 
staring at her softly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come here," he said seductively.  
  
Scully slowly walked to the bed and took his offered hand.  Mulder 
laced her fingers through his and leaned her into his side.  "Nervous?"  
  
Strangely relieved he knew, "Yeah, a little I guess."  
  
Mulder kissed the back of her hand.  "You're not alone."  
  
"You know,  I just want this to be perfect."  
  
"I know."  
  
The creaking sound of a floorboard from the room above them caused a 
break in the momentary silence that had quickly invaded the room.  
  
Looking thoughtfully at their hands, Mulder felt the air growing heavier.  
"Maybe it's not the right time, yet."  
  
Somewhere between relief and anxiety, Scully tilted her head to look at 
his face to face.  "Why are we both so afraid?"  
  
"Because we both know....... the next step is our last one.  After that, 
there's no going back."  Surrounding her with his arm, Mulder pulled 
her sideways so she could lean more onto him.  
  
"Scully, I think that's why we're 'both' nervous.  We know that after we 
make love, our relationship will forever be changed.   All we've ever 
known is what we've had so far."
     
Continuing after he saw the small nod of understanding from Scully,  
"And bit by bit I want us to change, Scully.  I want to be yours 
completely..... and I know you want the same."  
  
"But?"  
  
Mulder's eyes shut.  Locking her fingers tighter to Scully's, "No 'buts,' 
Scully.... none at all."  
  
Sitting there while the minutes passed, Scully felt like she still had a bit 
of explaining left.  "Mulder, it's just that....I've never made love to 
anyone that I .... I wanted so much with"  
  
Mulder pulled their hands together and lightly kissed them.  "You could 
never know..."  
  
Looking into his eyes and seeing the unconditional love that they held, 
she understood his ambiguous statement.  She could never know how 
much he loved her at that moment in time.  
  
  
  
  
  
[Singular]  
  
  
  
Monday morning, in the parking garage, Agent Tom Colton spied the 
pair as they absent-mindedly walked together, grinning at each other as 
they laughed at some pointless joke that nobody else could hear.   
Colton had also noticed they had both exited her car, together.   Petty 
revenge was beneath Agent Colton.  He had a career to worry about 
and  a few friends he held close, but the one that had slipped through 
his fingers, burned him into rages that sometimes bordered on 
obsessive.  

He was supposed to be the one to break that big case in Baltimore.  
Seeing them together on this morning after the conversation he had 
overheard last week combined with the contented manner in which   
they prominently displayed on their faces sealed his fury. Another plan 
went into silent action.  
  
The invitation to Dana Scully for lunch  had been a carefully 
orchestrated attempt to revive his friendship with her since their 
graduation from the Academy.  Knowing full well that Agent Mulder 
would be with her, when Colton asked for her help on a case, he   
had planned to make him play the part of the 'fool' that resided down in 
the basement.  Then he could force her to see the error of her ways by 
persisting to remain with Mulder.  He would play the hero, rescue her 
from her misery, resurrect her career and she would be eternally 
grateful.  Even though his mind had planned this coup de'tat, he had 
never consciously intended to sweep her off her feet.....he assumed it.     
  
What actually happened had turned into his worst nightmare.  Not only 
did his plan backfire by strengthening their partnership, it had cost him 
an enormous amount of embarrassment and ridicule.   Countermanding 
Mulder's stake-out had allowed Eugene Victor Tooms to pursue and 
assault Agent Scully.  This not only cost him whatever fleeting 
relationship he had hoped for with her, but it also garnered him 
a suspension for one week without pay by the Office of Professional 
Review after the complaint filed by Agents Scully and Mulder.     
  
If that had been all, it might have been enough for him to forget.  The 
final crushing blow to his psyche had been the fact that basement 
dweller, 'Spooky' Mulder, had been the one to make the arrest 
and solve his case.  The pariah of the FBI had made him look like the 
idiot.  Special Agent Colton was beyond petty things such as revenge,   
however, Tom Colton was not.  

Tom Colton came to work Monday morning.  
  
*************

  
Tuesday, October 12  
VCS Bullpen  
  
Tuesday arrived like all others; boring and relatively peaceful.  
Scully was at Quantico, with her partner taking notes from a visiting, 
"leading" expert in Forensic Sciences spouting the virtues of proper 
intestinal digestion traits to ensure accurate time-of-death 
pronouncements.  It was dry, but informative.  As lunch rolled 
around, she and Holland were visiting the Academy cafeteria when 
Scully's cell phone shrilled.  
  
"Scully."   
  
"It's me,"  Mulder countered.  
  
"What'cha want ....Me,"  Scully asked dryly.  
  
"What I want and what I need right now are, unfortunately, not the 
same thing," Mulder answered in a waning tone.  
  
Detecting the pitch his voice had taken, "What is it that you 'need' 
Mulder?"  
  
"At the moment, the reason why both you and I have been summoned 
to the OPC board tomorrow at 2:00."    
  
Scully, sat there hearing the words but not wanting them to register.  All 
previous encounters with OPC had never been pleasant for either of 
them. Even when called in on behalf of AD Skinner that time, the visit 
was distressing.  
  
"Scully?  Did you hear me?"  

Scully answered a moment later, "Yes, Mulder, I heard you.  You have 
any idea what this is about?"  
  
"Well, after getting back from lunch, I found the invitation in my box.  
On a hunch, I checked your box too and found the same letter.  Since 
both of our meetings are at the same time, I'm assuming it has 
something to do with...... us."  
  
After a few more seconds of silent communication, "I can't think of 
anything else."  
  
Scully pondered the facts given her, "I think your assumption is correct, 
unless you did something while we were with the X-files that you didn't 
tell me about," she said trying to put a positive spin on the situation.  
  
"Regardless, Scully.  I can't see as how this is any of their business or 
concern.  We're no longer partners, and the last time I checked I didn't 
need to get a permission slip to date you."  
  
"Mulder, if my father were still here, he would probably disagree with 
you on that last part."  Mulder could feel her smirk clear across the line.  

"Anyway.......wait........oh Mulder, they're calling us back for the 
afternoon session.  I've got to run, we'll talk more about this tonight."  
  
"Okay Scully......see'ya at home," Mulder said confidently.  Scully's 
apartment was soon becoming home, in more ways than one.  
  
"You gonna be there, Mulder," Scully expressed with anticipation at his 
forthcoming reply.  
  
"Always, Scully...."  The phone clicked off.  Scully curved her lips at the 
affection  Mulder conveyed.
  
Mulder reread the memo "politely" requesting his presence at the 
meeting. Otherwise known to the internal FBI masses as an 
interrogation. After dialing the numbers that had at one time usually 
elicited apprehension, he waited.  
  
"Assistant Director Skinner's office, Kimberly speaking, how may I help 
you."  
  
"Afternoon Kimberly, this is Agent Mulder, is the AD around,"  Mulder 
asked in the most polite and civil voice he could manage.  
  
"Actually Agent Mulder, he just walked in his office back from lunch, 
I'm sure he can take your call."   

'Hmmm?'  Mulder thought.  Even Kimberly was being civil to him.  
'Maybe the heart does grow fonder with absence', he mused.  "Nice to 
speak to you again Kim, thanks."    
  
"Anytime Agent Mulder.  I'll connect you through."  Mulder was now 
thoroughly baffled.  He thought to himself, 'Scully will never believe 
this', shaking his head.  
  
"Agent Mulder, nice to hear from you.  What can I do for you today?"    
  
"Well sir, I kind of need some advice.....some professional advice, if you 
don't mind."  
  
"Of course not Mulder, what's up?"  Skinner had softened from his 
initial 
briskness.  It always took him a second or two to warm up, if he was 
going to on that particular day.  
  
"Well, it seems that me and Scully have a date with the OPC tomorrow 
and I was curious if you could give me any insight as to why," Mulder 
calmly asked.  
  
Skinner's reaction was of genuine surprise, "Hmmph.....Mulder, I have 
no idea.  Scully still has another partner, correct?"  
  
"That's correct, sir.  We haven't even worked on a case together since 
July, and that was only a brief consult.  I'm stumped."  
  
"Well, if you're thinking it has anything to do with your days in the X-
Files together, you can rest assure that it would have to come through 
me first.  So it can't be that."  
  
"Yeah, that's what we were thinking....."   
  
Interrupting, "Hey Mulder?  Isn't Scully being reassigned to the 
Experimental Forensics Program, when that starts in a few weeks?"  
  
"Yes sir, from what I've heard from my ASAC, she's a virtual lock."  
  
"Mulder, it might have something to do with that.  That program would 
bring you two in on a lot of the same cases, if I'm remembering 
correctly."  
  
Sighing, "Even so, sir, she wouldn't be my partner.  We would work 
together and collaborate more, but she would still have an assigned 
partner from my understanding.  Also, there are no rules about 
fraternization in the Bureau's policies between fellow agents."  
  
"The only other thing I can think of is possibly someone submitting a 
complaint about your 'activities' here at the office......if you catch my 
drift."  
  
"That would seem plausible, except for the fact that  both Scully and I  
agreed to designate the Hoover building and situations where we are 
on-the-job as 'hands-off.'  We want to be  careful to keep a professional 
appearance just in case something like this were to happen."  
  
"Then I don't know what to tell you Mulder.  I would suggest you go to 
the OPC office downstairs this afternoon and check-out one of their 
updated handbooks so you will be prepared for any problems you might 
not have thought of."  Mulder's head lit up with the suggestion.  It was 
a solid idea.  
  
"Sir, that's a good idea.  Thanks for the suggestion." Mulder was 
significantly relieved now that he at least had something to do to try 
and figure this out with only twenty-fours hours to go.  
  
"Anytime, Mulder."  
  
"Thanks again."  
  
"No problem, tell Agent Scully I said 'hello,' and good luck tomorrow."  
  
With no further word from Scully that afternoon, time passed by slowly 
as he ditched his current case to study up on the "Manual of Rules and 
Procedures"  from the Office of Professional Conduct.  Similar to the 
Office of Professional Review, the OPC dealt more with the behaviors 
and ethical standards of its agents rather than procedural and policy 
making decisions.  
  
Hearing Scully drive up, he dashed to the front door to greet her.  A 
warm kiss marked her arrival home and he helped her unload her arms 
from reams of scientific journals she was usually bringing home to read.  
  
"Mulder?   Is that what I think it is,"  she spied in the kitchen.  
  
"Why yes Agent Scully, it is what you think........dinner," Mulder wore a 
satisfying grin.    
  
In a sense somewhere between horror and stunned disbelief, "Oh my 
God......you're domesticated too.....I never had any idea."  
  
"With that attitude, you never will," he retorted playfully.   She 
surrendered her feigned surprise to genuine gratitude and took him in 
by the waist leaning her head back, smiling warmly.  

"I think I could get used to this, Mulder."  He leaned in with a quick 
kiss on the cheek, "I think I could too,"  and broke the embrace to bark 
out his next order.  "Let's eat, I'm starved."  
  
Mulder related to Scully the details of his talk with Skinner and the 
fruitless results he had encountered with the manual from OPC over 
dinner.  Mulder had prepared a simple pasta dinner with salad and garlic 
bread.  Scully's continued amazement at the quality of dinner was 
becoming slightly annoying.  'And she thinks I'm sexist!', Mulder 
thought to himself.  After retiring to the living room the conversation 
continued.  
  
"Well, I spent all afternoon racking my brain trying to think of what 
could have brought this on.  You've been exceptionally good at the 
office about not displaying any overt signs of affection.  In fact, if 
anything the only contact we usually have IN the office is over the 
phone or in a hallway."  
  
"I know Scully...I've been thinking and the idea about someone filing a 
complaint seems to make the most sense.  Someone would have to have 
direct knowledge plus they could do it anonymously......."   
  
Stopping him before he could pursue the thought any further, "Mulder 
I hate to tell you this.  I didn't even want to tell you about this because I 
didn't think too much of it at the time, but last week while walking into 
the breakroom, I could have sworn I heard your name mentioned in the 
same breath along with mine.  The conversation ended abruptly when 
they saw me walk in.  I figured it was just the usual office grape-vine 
chatter, so I paid it no mind.......especially since we agreed not to hide 
anything."  
  
"You're right, Scully.  I've noticed a few hushed whispers here and there 
when entering a conference room in the past week or two also.  That 
only makes finding out exactly WHO made the complaint harder,"  
Mulder let out a deep sigh.  
  
"Well the only person I know whom I have actually talked about us with 
is Larry and he doesn't seem to be the type to whine.  He likes you, 
besides, if he wanted to he could have brought this up sooner."  This 
time it was Scully's turn to let out a reflective sigh of frustration.  
  
"I know Jeff  knows, but he has to work with me.  You know what a 
pain in the ass I can be even when I'm in a good mood.  I seriously 
doubt he would do it.  Hell......when's the last time you even saw Jeff?"  
  
Scully pondered this question thoughtfully, "I think....last Monday.  I 
doubt he's the one Mulder.  What would he have to gain by it anyway, 
he's already on his way to climbing the ladder."   With this last remark 
by Scully, both sets of eyes locked on each other as the same thoughts 
raced through their minds.    
  
In unison, they confirmed each other's suspicions, "Colton!"  
  
"He's the only person that I know who would be weasel enough to do 
something like this, let alone the only person I can think of with any 
remote kind of motive."  
  
"What kind of motive Mulder?  What motive could he possibly have," 
Scully asked with a confused look on her face.  
  
"Uhhhhh.......well.....," Mulder stuttered.  
  
"Yessss......Mulder?"  
  
"Back after the first case with Tooms he cornered  me in the hallway 
one day and said that he would make me pay for making him look 
foolish in front of everyone."     
  
Suspiciously, "Mulllddeerrr?  What did you do to get him to make a 
veiled threat?"  
  
"Ohh.....I don't know.....something like ....listing on the complaint 
...about putting your life in danger, rearranging his dental work....you 
know....the usual .....'macho' man stuff...as you say,"  Mulder's eyes 
were circling around the room trying to diffuse his amusement.  
  
Shaking her head slowly back and forth all Scully could let out was a 
sarcastically laced, "My hero."  
  
"I was always curious, Dana, but I never felt comfortable asking you..  
Did you and Colton have a history or something?"  
  
Looking back over her shoulder to Mulder on the couch, "You think 
this is what this is about?"  
  
"I don't know, I was just curious.  He always seemed to take it a little 
too personal."  
  
"He asked me out one time back when we were in the Academy, but I 
declined.  It was just after Jack and I broke up.   I think he was hoping 
to catch me on the rebound.   Other than that one lunch we had that was 
it."  
  
Mulder continued, trying to quickly get off the last subject, 
"Regardless, of who it is or what it is they think they have on us, there 
is absolutely nothing in the OPC manual that can suggest any 
impropriety on our behalf.  I say we go in and turn the tables on them."  
  
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you mean by 'turn the tables'  
Mulder," Scully looked over apprehensively as if she didn't want to 
know.  
  
"I say we go in, answer any questions they have honestly, inform them 
of our relationship and our knowledge we have that this in no way can 
affect our personnel histories and stick together."  
  
Leaning in his legs while she sat in front of him on the floor, she looked 
back.  "United we stand, divided we fall."  
  
"Great minds think alike."  Mulder then proceeded to release the 
tenseness from her shoulders that had been building up all day since 
lunch.  Sliding down off the couch so that she sat with her back to him 
while sitting between his legs, he continued to work out the stiffness 
that concern could only bring about.  
  
Resting his head on her shoulder, he whispered into her ear, "Dana,..... 
please don't worry about this.  There is nothing they can do to hurt us.  
They have nothing, but a little idle office gossip, and a little man trying 
to save some face from an incident that took place long ago."  
  
Stilling his hands, she turned to face him, "Mulder, I don't doubt you for 
a second, it just ....it just kills me to see you made a target of constantly.  
This is obviously aimed at you and I'm just tired of the jealousy and 
pettiness."  
  
They both had their apprehensions, but now that they had a game-plan, 
they're uneasiness had been lessened.   
  

*************

  
Wednesday, October 13,   
Office of Professional Conduct  
1:55 PM  
  
On the leather office sofa provided in the lobby of the outer office, the 
two sat together.  Patiently, anxiously awaiting the proceedings to 
commence. The silence was companionable over the clicking keyboard 
sounds that the receptionist was making. Mulder mused to himself, how 
appropriate it was that the receptionist had that definite FOA (front-
office-appearance) look.  She had ignored both of them, only nodding in 
recognition of their arrival with a callous perusal of their ID tags, 
clipped to their garments.   
  
One of the more striking impressions that the office made was its 
incredibly, antiseptic feel, and if you tried hard enough, its smell.  The 
office reeked of cold, formal confrontations that were probably short 
and to the point.  The members of the O.P.C. were routinely an eclectic 
mix of former field agents, members of upper management, and always 
included a psychiatric specialist.  This 'specialist' was usually there to 
serve as their unofficial polygraph test.  He or she would be there to 
gauge the reactions, mannerisms, and body language of the subjects in 
question.    Mulder knew the drill, and unfortunately over the years 
because of him, Scully had become fully mindful of the intentions of this 
group.     
  
After setting themselves in preparation for today's events the air of  
their confidence was slowly eroding as the hour drew near.  Both of 
them could sense it.  Leaning over to check his tie she leaned up into 
his ear and said the only word of  support she could think of.  
"Together."  
  
Mulder slowly looked over to study her piercing gaze and let a small 
almost arrogant smile form on his face that matched the light in his eyes.  
Reverting back to what he knew best he attempted to lighten the mood, 
"Yeah Scully, of all the times I went to the principal's office, this is the 
first time I won't be by myself."  
  
Scully returned the comment with a smile and squeezed his hand to 
assure him he would not be alone on this trip. "Somehow, I find that 
hard to believe."  
  
Right on cue, the inner office door opened to reveal the dark-haired, 
pointed man that had always been present to these meetings before, 
"Agent Scully, Agent Mulder, would you please join us?"  
  
In unison they both got to their feet and entered the room.  A rather 
large, round conference table centered in the room was filled at the 
opposite side with the other committee members.  Along with the man 
who had let them in, Mulder recognized the 'specialist.'  She was an 
older prudish looking woman whom he had never heard speak.  Next to 
her was SAC David West, which they both expected and a couple of 
other 'suits'  that he vaguely recognize.  Off in the corner was a 
stenographer who was also required for official purposes to record all 
statements made in the proceeding.  In this capacity, Mulder and Scully 
recognized that this was also a little more official than some of their 
previous encounters with the O.P.C.  
  
On their end remained two empty chairs, obviously meant for them, and 
they promptly took their seats.   The 'pointed' man took the center seat, 
flanked by the rest of the lynch mob and started to speak.  
  
"Thank you two for joining us today.  We have convened this meeting 
today to discuss the recent developments of your personal relationship 
which have recently been brought to our attention."      
  
One thought raced through Mulder's head as if on automatic. 'Someone 
DID file a complaint.'  
  
Before the 'pointed' man could continue, Scully launched herself at him 
with a calm, confident reply.  Their plan was to be proactive in this 
oncoming assault and Scully had obviously not forgotten, "Sir, if I may 
ask, of what business is this of yours or this office regarding, as you 
said yourself, our personal relationship?"  
  
Mulder cheered wildly in his mind and willed her even more support 
through his thoughts.  The 'pointed' man  was not impressed however.  
"It is the business of this office when two agents who have worked 
together in past as partners, and still work together in close proximity, 
within the same section are exploring a more 'involved' relationship."   
Giving Mulder his turn, Scully awaited his resulting response.  
  
"Are you accusing Agent Scully and myself of any specific wrong-
doings, or misconduct?"  
  
This question actually seemed to catch a few of the people at the other 
end of the table by surprise.  It was usually them who were confronting 
the subject with specific instances of misconduct.  The 'pointed' man 
resumed the battle without hesitation.  
  
"Agent Mulder, it has been brought to our attention that the two of you 
are keeping the same residence together.  Do you deny this?"  
  
Scully, incensed, rejoined the fray.  "Again I don't see how that is any 
of your business,  with all due respect.  The fact that Agent Mulder and 
I are seeing each other outside of working hours on a personal basis is 
inconsequential to our working relationship, which for the last year and 
a half has only been on rare occasion."  
  
"Which brings me to my point," the 'pointed' man drawled with a 
condescending look at the pair.  "It seems that with the possible 
promotion of Agent Scully to the I.S.U.'s profiling team, you two would 
be working together more often, and that is why we were concerned to 
learn about......."  
     
Before he could finish, Mulder's highly analytical mind interrupted him.  
"Hold on....stop right there.  You still didn't answer my earlier question 
did you?"  Mulder's courage had already shot up another notch as his 
mind was forming a specific direction in which he wanted to take this 
conversation.  
  
Now in his own condescending tone, Mulder continued,  "You don't 
have anything on us do you?  You can't point to any specific instance 
of misconduct, because I," looking over to Scully, "WE haven't done 
anything wrong.  And YOU know it."  
  
The 'pointed' man now fidgeted for the first time.  "Regardless of what 
has or hasn't happened, the fact that you two might be working together 
will pose a serious problem to the morale of other agents."  
  
With a snort of disbelief, Scully responded.  "How is that, sir?  And 
what do you mean by 'might' be working together?"  On this last phrase 
Scully gave a glaring, cold glance to SAC West, who could only look 
away.  
  
"Are you saying that Agent Scully may not be promoted due to the fact 
of a personal relationship with another agent......who isn't even her 
partner?"    
  
Scully couldn't resist the opportunity to jump in a further bolster the 
support her former partner had offered her.  "According to SAC West, 
the position was already offered to me and I accepted, during the 
interview last week"  
  
The 'pointed' man was now glowering at SAC West.  This development 
was unforeseen, just as the next one was.  Mulder reached down to 
retrieve the manual that came from the very office he sat in not more 
that twenty-four hours ago.  Scully gave him a reassuring nod that this 
was indeed the correct time to spring their trump card.  
  
He returned his hand to the table with the handbook and forcefully slid 
it across the table to the 'pointed' man.  "What's this,"  he replied with a 
sudden regret of his own words.  
  
"Uhh...gee...I think it's the O.P.C.'s official manual for conduct of 
personnel behavior.  I thought you would recognize it .....maybe not."  

Mulder's sarcasm was biting and dry.  Scully slid her hand under the 
table to gently give him a squeeze of restraint that he quickly 
acknowledged.  She knew he was pushing the envelope, but it wouldn't 
be the Mulder she knew if he hadn't.  
  
"Sooo...?," the `pointed' man returned.  
  
"Sooo...maybe you should open up the manual to the page where it 
clearly states that Agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who 
are not partnered, are restricted from fraternizing with any other 
personnel of the Bureau outside of the work environment."  
  
"Agent Mulder, you obviously know that there is no statement of such 
in this manual. The official policy states such fraternization is neither 
forbidden or encouraged." 

Before he could finish Scully saw her opening and made the most of it.  
  
"Then, why in the hell are we here in the first place?"      
  
The room fell silent.  The 'pointed' man knew when to cut his losses.  
Looking over the the SAC and then the 'specialist', he resigned himself 
to call it a draw, even though his ego would call it a sincere beating.  

"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, thank you for your time, you are free to 
return to your current duties."  
  
Scully looked at Mulder, Mulder looked back.  Even though the battle 
was over, he couldn't resist one final, parting shot.  He could afford it.  
Another reprimand on his file would only balance out the fact that his 
file had been clean for the last ten or so months.  
  
"That's it?  Gentlemen, just for the record I want to note, that your 
veiled threat towards Scully's career, is on the record," he said pointing 
to the stenographer who was caught a little off guard at the fact 
someone had recognized her presence.   "A case of  discrimination 
based on such pitiful accusations would most certainly put this office in 
a bad light."  
  
Scully pulled his arm to urge him out of the room and he quickly threw 
a glance around to the other members.  Mulder picked up his briefcase 
and joined her at the door. 
     
The ensuing ride on the elevator was quiet.  Mulder's last words to the 
committee were ringing in her ears.  'Did he really threaten to sue on my 
behalf?'   Scully had been a little thrown by that last comment.  She was 
confused.  Angry that he would insinuate himself in her personnel 
affairs, relieved that he had stood up for her, and guilty because she 
had not detected the veiled threat in the first place.   Yes, she decided as 
she replayed the conversation over in her head, it was definitely an 
overture of warning.  
  
Mulder was quietly boiling at what had transpired over the last thirty 
minutes.  "I can't believe they just said what I think they said, Scully.  
He outright threatened to hold up your promotion because of this."  
  
Scully glared, "I can't believe what YOU just said to them, Mulder.   A 
whole lot of good that did us, not to mention another fine example 
lodged firmly in West's head of your insubordinate behavior."  
  
"MY WHAT?," Mulder looked at her incredulously.  "I was just trying 
to......"  
  
"I know EXACTLY what you were doing Mulder.  You were doing the 
same thing you've done for years.  Trying to protect me by putting 
yourself in harms way.  I don't need you to do that for me, I don't want 
you to do that for me....."  
  
"WELL, maybe I NEED to do it!!"  

Fuming, Mulder had just crossed his arms in resignation that those 
words that he had just spoken were about to haunt him for a long 
time.......well, at least the next few weeks probably.  
  
With a derisive chuckle, Scully took up a similar position, shaking her 
head. In possibly the most sarcastic tone she could scrape together, 
"Well, it's so nice to see chivalry is not dead  yet."  
  
The ding of the elevator door prompted them to exit.   "Later,"  was all 
Mulder could get out as he hastily exited the car.  

Scully sighed to herself and issued an even more sardonic, "Yep, happy 
birthday, Mulder," under her breath.   
  
As she punched the button of the elevator car to return to parking 
garage, she started to comprehend what had just happen.    Typical 
male, macho "testosterone", fueled by a sense of feminist liberation.... 
okay,... a healthy sense of feminine liberation mixed with one part 
bureaucratic committee from hell and what do you get?   You get the 
only happy person in the bunch.....the one who instigated it all.  
  
  
*************  
 
 
Folger Park  
6:56 PM  
  
  
Sitting at the prescribed bench, the smaller figure looked around her 
noticing all that went by waiting for the man to arrive as usual.  He must 
have been running a little late, she thought to herself.  
  
Sure enough, the man walked slowly towards her along the path, 
keeping to his promise that he made a few hours earlier.    
  
"You're late."  
  
"Don't start with me now."  
  
"I'm not.  I was just pointing out that you were late."  
  
Frustrated, the man took out a new cigar and lit it to the behest of his 
companion.  
  
"I wish you wouldn't smoke those things."  
  
"Well, when I'm not myself, they take the edge off.   Why would you 
care?"  
  
Pulling her trenchcoat tighter around herself, the smaller figure wasted 
no more time.  "Is she willing to accept the position."  
  
"I think so.  We'll take our time until we think the time is right. It hasn't 
been offered yet, but the chances are good.  After being sidetracked 
down in the basement she couldn't possibly refuse the offer."  
  
"Her reconciliation with her former partner was unforeseen.  Would the 
offer lead to the desired results?"  
  
"Most likely and if not..... there are other ways."  
  
  
*************  
  
Scully's Apartment  
9:21 PM  
  
After returning from Quantico from a forensic consult, she arrived home 
to find what she had expected.....no Mulder.  It was no surprise that he 
wanted to put a little distance between them since this afternoon's 
'discussion', she ruminated.  It was classic Mulder.  She smiled at the 
thought, but it quickly dissipated by the fact that it was his birthday,   
she had made grand plans, and even though it had only been four or so 
hours since the 'discussion' she missed him.  
  
Knowing Mulder is a lot like having your teeth cleaned.  It was 
somewhat irritating but the results and benefits were well worth it.  In 
short run and the long run.  Scully knew that it would do no good to 
seek him out.  She still firmly believed the ball was in his court.  'I'm 
right on this one, and he knows it.'    
  
At about 9:00 that evening Scully looked up from the book she was 
reading to hear the key slip in her door.  A grin that she tried to force 
back firmly took root on her face.  A casual version of Mulder walked in 
and sat down across from her in her favorite chair next to the fireplace.    
  
"I'm a jerk, aren't I?"  Mulder said with his head still dipped down.  
  
"Yes you are Fox Mulder."  Scully's sharp chin remained stiff as she let 
him see how angered she had been with his inconsiderate actions.    
  
"But, you're my jerk"  On the last two words, his head jerked up to 
catch her smile.  
  
"I'm sorry Scully.  I shouldn't have said what I did.....in the conference 
room.....or in the elevator."  Scully was pleasantly surprised to hear the 
apology for the comment to the O.P.C. board, she was really not 
expecting it....at least this quickly.  
  
"Well, don't be so hard on yourself. Actually, I'm kind of glad you said 
what you did to those boneheads.  Maybe now, they'll be afraid of us."  
  
With a thoroughly confused look, "You really think so Scully?"  
  
"Well......no.....but I thought it would make you feel better,"  her smile 
was even more brilliant now as she stifled a snicker.  
  
Mulder relaxed a bit at the relief of this little rift being over.  Scully put 
her book down and crossed the short distance to where he sat and took 
up residence, kneeling between his legs.  

"Mulder, I know your intentions were well meant and I won't hold you 
back, but sometimes you have to let go of these insecurities.  I'm a 
grown woman, I can handle myself.  I appreciate it that your sense of 
nobility is concerned for me, but let me fight my battles in my own way 
and time."  
  
"I know... Scully, somewhere in there it went from being our battle 
to my battle.  I'll try not to do it again."  
  
Scully leaned up to kiss his cheek, "That's all I ask, besides, I knew you 
would see it my way........eventually."    
  
Pulling her up so she sat in his lap, "Oh really, Dr. Scully?  Do you 
always get your way,"  he asked slyly.     
  
"Ummmm.........normally," she responded.  Taking his face in her hands, 
she whispered.  "I got you didn't I?"  
  
Laughing at the well-timed punch line, he pulled her closer.  "Yes you 
did."  
  
Pulling away briefly, "Sooo.....when did you figure it out?"   
  
Knowing full well what she was talking about Mulder sensed her 
curiosity.  "You mean when did I figure out we were being played for 
fools by whoever sent in the complaint?"   
  
"Yeah." she waited.  
  
"Ohhh....I'd say about two seconds after I saw that prick Colton staring 
at me after I exited the elevator.  Even if he wasn't the one, he seemed 
to be enjoying my pissy mood a little too much."  
  
"You didn't say....."  
  
She was cut off before she could continue, "No I didn't.....I wouldn't 
want to give him the satisfaction."  
  
With a small sigh of relief she felt this was over and it was time to move 
on. "Did you eat?  I left some dinner for you in case you didn't."  
  
"Yeah, I stopped at a McDonald's and drowned my sorrows in a box of 
chicken McNuggets."    
  
With a devious grin, "Well did you happen to have any dessert?"  
  
He looked at her curiously, "No......why?"  
  
"Don't tell me you forgot, Mulder?"  She looked back at him in a sense 
of horror.  
  
"Forgot what... my birthday?"    
  
"Yes, it's your birthday you idiot!" Pulling him up from the chair, she 
dragged him by the wrist and led him to the kitchen.  She pulled a big 
white box from the refrigerator and placed it before him.  

"We've never celebrated it before."

Looking as innocent and angelic as possible, her eyes darted away.  
"Well maybe we've never had a reason to celebrate before."
  
Mulder watched  her suspiciously.  He knew that look from her.  The 
look that said, `I know something you don't.'  

Mulder, prepared for the worst possible humiliation on earth as he 
opened it to find a cake with "Happy Birthday, Mulder!" written in 
green letters.  

Decorated along the edges were flying saucer's and other UFO related 
paraphernalia.  Mulder laughed favorably as he pulled Scully into his 
arms and kissed her soundly.  
  
Quietly replying in a low, serious voice, "Happy Birthday, Mulder....you 
deserve one ......no matter how much of a jerk you can be."  Humor was 
always safe to resort to when one or the other felt the moment getting a 
little heavy.  Both of them were long-time suppressers of emotions.  Old 
habits do die hard.  
  
After blowing out the candles, Scully had been itching to ask him what 
he had asked for.  
  
"Well, Mulder..........what did you wish for?"  
  
"To be honest Scully, it's been so long since I blew out the candles on a 
birthday cake I guess I forgot."  Mulder look a little embarrassed at the 
admission.  
  
"Well don't worry, I made one for you."  Caught off guard at her 
admission, "Oh really, what was that?"  
  
"You know I can't tell you that Mulder!"  
  
"Well, it's my wish isn't it?"   Looking back to Mulder with a smug grin,  

"Yes it was, and trust me when I say, if you want it to come true.....you 
won't ask!"  
  
"Next topic," Mulder said, quickly changing the subject.    
  
Scully smiled, "Good answer, Mulder, good answer."  
  




 
  
  
[Two Step]  
  
  
Monday, October 18  
VCS Bullpen  
  
Monday came quickly as Scully anticipated her first official day in the 
Investigative Science Unit as the Assistant Special Agent in Charge of 
Forensics.  She had learned her post was also supervisory over the 
other three forensic agents endeavoring to join the I.S.U.'s profiling 
machine.  Her last partner,  Special Agent Larry Holland was also 
among the group.   
  

  
They both went about their work as always.  Agreeing to disagree most 
of the time, challenging each other's theories, and defying each other's 
evidence.  For all intents and purposes, the were just being Mulder and 
Scully as usual.  Somewhere along the way they discovered that magical 
switch that they could turn on and off to their personal relationship.  
Even though they weren't perfect about it, they both managed to detach 
one from the other.
  
By Monday evening, both had a taste of what was to become of their 
new working relationship.  It would never be the same as being partners, 
but it was gratifying to both of them to be able to work on some of the 
same cases.     
  
Finishing dinner, Mulder started to clear the table.  "What were your 
impressions of the manic-depressive gang known as the I.S.U.?"  
  
"Overall, very interesting.  Even after one day, I can see the intense 
nature of the people assembled on the team.  Kind of scary actually.  
What about us?"  
  
Looking back with a wicked smile, "Kind of scary actually," as he 
repeated her answer.  "I was actually impressed with the younger agent 
with brownish hair....what was her name again?"  
  
"You mean Agent McCraw," she questioned.  
  
"Yeah, that's her.  She kind of reminded me of someone I met a long 
time ago."     
  
Scully finishing her after-dinner coffee took a sip, "And who might that 
be?"  
  
"YOU.  I swear she was dead-on in some of the test cases we set up for 
her.  It was eerie.  She even sounded like you when you're giving one of 
your rational-explanations about some crazy theory of mine.  Scully...... 
she was truly 'spooky.'"  
  
"Yeah, I knew I liked her for a reason.  For being so fresh out of the 
Academy she does seem to be able to pick things up quickly."  
  
"Just do me one favor Scully.  Don't ever let her change her hair color 
to red, I would have to open an X-file on her myself."  Scully continued 
to smirk at Mulder.  
  
"Deal Mulder, but don't worry she's just a photocopy ..... I'm the 
original."  
  
"And much prettier."  Mulder added.  
  
Loading the dishwasher, and setting the timer he continued, "What did 
you think of Agent Hatfield?"  Mulder was now the one wearing a 
sardonic smirk.  
  
"Well Agent Mulder, in my professional AND personal opinion I think 
he would qualify as a first class, ladder climbing, two-faced..........."  
  
 "Jerk?"  Mulder offered.  
  
"Yes, that would be the appropriate word.....along with pig, moron and 
a few other words my brother's in the Navy would be very proud of."  
  
"Ooooh.....that bad huh,"  Mulder said wincing.  
  
"Let's just put it this way.  When he's not in front of you guys trying to 
impress you with the few big words he memorized out of Reader's 
Digest,  he's eyeing Agent McCraw and myself like a lecherous drunk 
on a Friday night.    That .....PRICK .....actually had the nerve to ask me 
if I was a real doctor.  You should have seen Holland, Mulder.  He was   
almost ready to deck the guy, I can't promise I will stop him next time."  
  
"So I take it, Agent Scully, he won't get your vote to remain at the 
I.S.U.?"  Mulder sarcastically offered.  
  
"How anyone like him could get past the psyche screening, much less 
the I.S.U.'s interview is beyond me.......oh.....and that's a no!"  
  
Mulder choked back a chuckle, to avoid his own untimely demise at the 
hands of a petite red-head whose Irish temper could flare with the best 
of them.  He threw the dishrag across the sink and flipped  the kitchen 
lights.  Scully was still fuming over the replay she had just spelled out 
for Mulder.  He walked up behind her while she was still sitting in the 
chair, grabbed her shoulders and started to work the tension out of 
her shoulders.    
  
At his touch she finally began to relax and emit small sounds of 
pleasure as he worked his way down and around her back.  
  
Whispering into her ear, "You know Scully, Holland and I could take 
Hatfield out back for a little chat tomorrow if you like?"  
  
At that Mulder could feel her tense back up, "Hey, hey, I was only 
kidding.  You know I would never try and kick his ass.......not when I 
know you can do it better."  She relaxed again and smiled.  "Besides, 
you got plenty of practice on me, and I know how good a shot you are."  
  
Scully leaned back completely as she let him continue his labor.  
"Mulder, did I miss something or did you just clean up the kitchen?"  
  
"I don't know Scully, did you see any little gray men here?"     
  
"No, " she answered questionably.  
  
"Well then, it must have been me.  Come on Scully."  Mulder grabbed 
both her arms from the back and guided her to the bathroom.  "I want 
you to sit down, take a nice long bath and when you get out, we're both 
going to catch up on some sleep that we lost over the weekend while 
working late.  What do you say?"  
  
"You going to stay here tonight?"  
  
"If you don't mind."  
  
"No.. not at all."  Looking like she wanted to ask something, but didn't 
know how, " It...it doesn't bother you to... I mean since we haven't ... 
you know."  
  
Slightly miffed at her inference.  "You mean, can I sleep in the same 
.....since we haven't...."  He made the same small gesture with his hand.  
  
"It's just, I don't want to send.... mixed signals."  
  
With a obvious amount of uncertainty. "You're calling the shots on this 
one."  
  
"I never wanted this to be a big deal... I mean..."  
  
Wiping his brow with an open hand, he sat down to talk about 
something that had been on his mind for a while.  "Scully, I think this is 
making YOU uncomfortable..... and I don't know why exactly.  A part 
of me is telling me you don't want risk anything more, but another part 
is telling me you want to .... and ...."  

Turning around he let out a breath full of frustration, bent on keeping 
his word to her.  "I don't know what else to say,  except.... I'll wait.   I'll 
wait until you're ready for this to happen.  I don't know what you're 
afraid of, but I'll be here."  
  
Without further protest, Scully began to undress as Mulder drew her 
bath.  Finding one of  her sweet-smelling bath oils, he generously 
poured a cap full in at the spigot and warmed the water to a notch 
below scalding.  Watching her mischievously, he retreated to give her 
privacy.  He locked up, turned off all the lights in the living room and 
prepared the bed for her.  Catching the news on the television, he waited 
for her exit so he could say goodnight.  
  
The next thing he knew, Scully was dressed in her satin robe, prying the 
remote from his hand.  He had dozed off to the sounds of SportsCenter.  
Smiling at the sight of a freshly bathed Scully, Mulder stood up as she 
turned off the television.  A small light came from her bedroom and lit 
up the darkened living room so they could barely see each other's eyes.   
  
"I have to be sure, Mulder.... that's all."

Crushed by her words, Mulder did his best not to let her see its effect 
on him. Gently smiling, "Whatever it takes."  
  
Mulder nodded his head that was full of conflicting emotions.  Love for 
the woman he desperately wanted, fear that she would never be sure, 
confusion because he didn't know how to assure her anymore than he 
already had and empathy because he knew what she meant.   Even 
though Mulder had reservations too, he knew the risk he was asking of 
her.  Loving someone is always a risk.
  
"Scully, I know that .. the year we spent apart was painful.  I know that 
we lost something wonderful, but what we could have.... what I think 
we have now, could be so much better."  

Her eyes closed in agreement of his words followed by a small nod.  
"But, whatever it takes for you to be sure, I want you to take those 
steps.  I'm going to need you to take those steps.   Not just for yourself, 
not just for me, but for us."  
  
The unfounded fears she had been battling with since that first night 
together a few weeks ago would have to be dealt with.  In time she 
would know how to deal with it.  She would find it in her heart to risk 
the ultimate pain to find the ultimate reward.  
  
"I'll be here to pick you up at seven, okay?"  
  
"Ok, goodnight, Mulder."  
  
"'Night, Scully."  Mulder leaned down and gave her a soft kiss for her 
sake as much as his.  
  
Reaching the door he unlocked the deadbolt and turned the handle.  
"Mulder?"  
  
Turning back around to see her standing in her bedroom doorway, 
"Yeah?"  
  
She just looked at him longingly, unable to say anything.   
  
With as much conviction about this as he had ever had about anything 
else in his life he read her mind.  "I know, Scully."  
  
  
  
  
*************  


Scully's Apartment 
7:37 AM


Picking up Scully that morning, his practiced words of reassurance left 
him.  Spending the better part of the early morning going over all the 
possible ways he could make her understand, all it took was to see her 
face to know that even though they hadn't taken the final step, there 
was a difference.  

A slight difference in how she kissed him, a slight difference in her 
`good morning, Mulder' and a profound difference when she wordlessly 
grabbed his hand from the wheel and held it for the duration of the trip 
into the city.
  
Maybe that's what she needed.  Maybe she wanted to be in control of 
this.  Maybe he needed to back off and not force the issue.  The fact 
they were being so careful spoke to how much they wanted it.  Another 
bizarre quirk in the relationship.

Arriving at the office at 7:30 AM, they headed for the cafeteria to get 
an early breakfast that Mulder had promised.   Upon exiting the line, 
they spotted an empty booth in the far corner.  Mulder grabbed a 
newspaper and joined her.  Not long after sitting down, AD Skinner 
spotted them and Mulder waved him over to join them.  
  
"Well, look who the cat dragged in," Skinner opened.  
  
"Good morning sir," Scully replied for both of them.  "What brings you 
down here this early?  As I recall you don't do mornings very well."  
  
"You're right Scully, I don't.  But, Kimberly is out sick, ASAC reviews 
are due pretty soon, and O.P.C. is hounding me about a few 
unscrupulous agents among our midst.  Speaking of O.P.C., I heard 
through channels you two put on quite a performance at your hearing a 
few weeks back."  
  
Looking to Scully for her assent to continue, "Well, I just think we 
made our point clear that they had nothing on us.  They were just 
festering out some old issues that they wanted to explore."  Not wanting 
to delve deeper into the details Mulder stopped.  
  
"Well from what I hear, the dynamic duo of Mulder and Scully raised a 
quite little stink that still hasn't cleared out of their office yet."  
  
Mulder and Scully shared a slightly concerned look at each other and 
then to Skinner.  
  
"Oh, don't worry, you two.  I think they had their fill of you.  I don't 
foresee them giving you guys anymore problems as long as you 
continue to behave yourselves."   

Visibly relaxing, the two let an uneasy smile creep to their faces.  
Skinner felt good for easing their tense fears, at least for a little while.   
Actually, he felt sorry for the O.P.C. board.  For he knew exactly how 
formidable the pair could be, especially when backed into a corner.  
  
"Well, I've got to run.  Lot's of work to get to.  Oh......Scully, 
congratulations on the promotion, I hear you're supervisory now."  
  
"Yes sir."  Scully answered in confidence.  
  
"Well good luck, to you both.  I'll see you around."  
  
  
*************
  
  
Monday, November 1,   
I.S.U. Division  
Conference Room #1,  9:30 AM  
  
  
With the first week of orientation into the I.S.U. behind them, the teams 
started digging into current cases that were taken into priority.   The 
prime focus of the FBI's crack profiler's had become the recent rash of 
serial killings in the Spokane, Washington area.  Since late 1997, a serial 
killer was picking up street people of all types and systematically   
murdering them without provocation.  He was up to number twenty.  
His mode of operation was very plain for a serial killer.  Shoot them, 
dump them, leave them to die.  He, assuming it was a he, usually used a 
small caliber weapon and shot them in an area where it would be 
possible to live long enough to realize they were going to die.  The 
throat, the gut, even the groin for a few helpless victims.  Ballistics had 
reported the lack of a consistently used firearm for all the killings.  
There were matches for some of the same bullets, but it looked like the 
killer was using several different guns.  
  
The fear in Spokane was palpable.  No matter how much word got out 
about the killings, people were still being dragged off to their deaths in 
plain sight with no other visible clues.   These killings also harkened 
back to the Green River killings in the Seattle area during the previous 
decade.  Forty-one people had been murdered.  No one was ever   
caught.  Even though the killings in each case bore no outward 
resemblance to each other, the Washington State Police feared the killer 
could be the same, only using a slightly different mode of operation.  
The only commonality between the killings was the fact the victims had 
nothing of substance in common.  They were blacks, whites, Hispanics, 
men, women, teens, elderly.  It didn't seem to matter.  This serial killer   
obviously subscribed to the equal opportunity offender plan.  
  
SAC West had called a conference this morning to update the status of 
the investigation.   Washington State Police was stumped and called 
out to the FBI to help out.  This was becoming a nightmare for local 
officials in Spokane and pressure from a newly elected Senator from the 
state insured the I.S.U.'s top people be put on the case.  
  
The meeting proceeded in a serious and somber atmosphere.  The FBI 
was going to pull out all the stops for this one in case their worst fear 
had come true.  If it had, there were many more dead to follow.    
  
West continued on after his initial greeting, "As we're all well aware, the 
Spokane situation is beginning to reach critical mass.  The Washington 
State police has asked us for our help and were going to put the full 
court press on for this one.  We will send two profilers along with a 
forensics team, to be supported by the rest of us back here in D.C.  
Folks, this is top priority.   ASAC Hastings will lead the joint task 
force in the field from Spokane while the rest will support with research 
out of the local Bureau office in Seattle.  I want this one bad folks.  I'm 
getting pressure from up top that this would really make the FBI look 
good.  And right now anything that makes us look good can only help   
us in the long run."  
  
Hastings stood up to take his place at the head of the table, "The 
following agents will accompany me in Seattle for field duty.  Agent 
Mulder, Agent Holland, and Agent Scully.  Your travel arrangements 
will be at your desks by this afternoon.  I'd like to tell you guys   
to pack light, but I have a feeling this trip will last a while.  Agents 
Jefferson, Ramirez,  McCraw, and Sauls, you will head up the research 
team to remain here to coordinate with the VICAP (VIolent Criminals 
Apprehension Program)  You will be in contact with us on a daily basis 
providing support where needed.   If there's any questions, please feel 
free to ask now."   Looking around the room to field any questions, he 
saw none.  "all right then, we'll adjourn for now.  Will the other three 
field agents going with me stay here for some more briefing?"  
  
Mulder glanced to Scully and knew right away the pained look was 
actually her checking her concerns at the door.  Profiling had never 
been easy on Mulder and she knew that the more harrowing cases 
could easily send him into a depressive funk.  
  
The room cleared out and the four agents sat around the table.  
Hastings started, "Well folks, I guess we're gonna get a little more cozy 
over the next few weeks.  And hopefully we'll get the killer put away."  
  
Throwing a glance between Mulder and Scully, Hastings continued, 
"And in case you're wondering, yes, I did hand pick the team with 
West's approval.  I wanted you two especially since you've worked 
together before and Holland here has spent time with Scully.  I'm hoping 
the 'chemistry' between us will afford us an advantage."  
  
After reviewing the case notes that had been sent by the Washington 
State Police, they spent the better part of the day throwing around ideas 
to each other.   Mulder was purposely being a little 'out there' to stir up 
questions that might prompt new ideas.  Scully steadfastly pointed to 
evidence to back him up or shut him down.  They worked through lunch 
in order to finish the preliminary review so they could go home to pack.    
Their flight would leave the next morning at 8:30.  
  
"Are you going back to your place tonight to pack?"  
  
"Yeah, however, I think everything I need is here," he said with a leer.  
  
Relaxing on the couch, they both sat back and flipped through channels 
trying to find something on they could both watch while reading 
through the early case files.  The television found its way to CNN who 
was doing a story on the Spokane killer.  They both watched intently as 
some of the facts were played around with loosely.  

"Mulder......are you going to be okay with this one?"    
  
"I think so.....I may not be very likable over the next couple of weeks 
though."  
  
Equivalent to an apology for his behavior, Scully treated it as one. 
"You're forgiven.....on one condition."  
  
Mulder looked over warily, "What's that?"  
  
"Let me in.....let me be the one to help you come back.  You had a nasty 
habit of ditching me when we were partners.....and I don't mean by 
running off on your own.  I mean emotionally.  I know your intentions 
are well meant, but I almost saw it destroy you and your career one 
time.....and after now......I won't stand by and watch you torture 
yourself when you don't have to."  
  
"I know you're right, Scully.   But I only know one way to get into their 
minds."  
  
"Mulder, you're a better investigator if you can get into their minds and 
then get out.   And I agree with Hastings.  I think he wants me along to 
keep you in-line, but I'm sure he doesn't want to have to do it all by 
himself."  
  
"He just wants to get this over with quickly. It's extremely rare they 
send four field agents out to one site, with a research team at home. I'm 
sure the pressure West put on him could crack Mt. Rushmore.......but 
whatever the reason.  It's nice to be together again."  Mulder took her 
hand in his and gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.  
  
"Do you think it might be a set-up Mulder?  Do you think they want to 
catch us together or something,"  she looked into his eyes full of 
concern.  
  
"Wow, my paranoia did wear off on you, I'm proud."  Scully slugged 
him in the arm.  
  
"Haa, I meant that as a compliment......... I don't think they care 
anymore, like Skinner said.   West would not have approved it 
otherwise.  He knows about us, and that would be entrapment or 
damn close to it."  
  
  
*************  

Spokane, Washington
4:34 PM PST  
  
Arriving in Spokane a little after 12:00 PM, pacific time, the four agents 
hit the rental car desk and rented two standard issue sedans complete 
with bland paint job.  They checked into the local Courtyard Inn and 
headed to the local Washington State police office where the case 
officially resided. Detective Willmore met them at the front door along 
with other members of the W.S.P. brass. Willmore was the lead 
investigator and was soon being drilled by Mulder and Hastings in 
tandem.  If anyone had of not known better, they would have thought 
Willmore to be the suspect. Willmore gratefully answered all their 
questions and officially handed the case over to the agents while  
Holland and Scully headed to the local coroner's office to inspect the 
bodies.  
  
Later in the afternoon, Mulder's cell phone trilled.  
  
"Mulder."  
  
"It's me," Scully answered.  
  
"What'cha got?"  
  
"Well so far, pretty much what we expected.  All small caliber weapons, 
all shot from point blank range.  All victims suffering a contusion of 
some sort to the back of there heads.  Pretty straight forward.   We did 
pull a few hair and fibers from one body that looked to be foreign to the 
victims body.  We've sent it back to DC for analysis.  We should have 
an idea tomorrow if it's important or not.   What about you guys.....is 
Willmore still alive?"  
  
Chuckling slightly, "Yeah, he survived.  Actually he did a pretty 
thorough job considering.  What we can't figure out is why it took 
twelve dead bodies with similar MO's for this to be brought to the 
Bureau's attention.   The local field office doesn't have the staff for this 
type of case, I guess that's why we got called. Hastings and I are 
headed back to the hotel right now.  You gonna join us for dinner?"  
  
"Yeah, we're just cleaning up right now.  We'll meet you at your room in 
a few minutes.  See'ya."  
  
"See'ya in a few."  
  
Mulder hung up the phone and drifted to his thoughts.  Hastings 
sensed what he was thinking and decided to let him off the hook.  
  
"Mulder, I wanted to let you know that even though were here on 
official business, the workday does end and you're free to socialize if 
you guys feel the need."  
  
Mulder looked over in distress, "Jeff, are we that obvious?"  
  
"No of course not, you guys are playing it straight down the line like 
you should be, but we might be out here a while and I want you two to 
be comfortable.  That's part of the reason I wanted you two on the 
team."  
  
Reflecting for a moment searching for the correct response, "Scully and 
I decided to keep things professional while in the field.  We don't want 
to take a chance on setting a bad example, we already have enough 
rumors floating around as it is."  
  
"Yeah, I know.  That Colton sure is a prick ain't he?"   Hastings's 
southern dialect showed through from time to time.  
  
"You knew about him?"  
  
"Yeah, everybody knows what a jerk he is."  
  
Back to his original thought, "All I'm saying Mulder, is don't worry 
about us.  We're not going to bother you two.  Holland, I assume, 
already knows about you two and he's not going to tell anybody.  
You're his idol."  
  
"Uhhh......  thanks for letting me know.......we'll be okay."  
  
"Sure thing Mulder, no harm."  


*************
  

Courtyard Inn Restaurant
7:04 PM

  
After meeting  with the other two Agents over dinner, Mulder and 
Scully were suspiciously left alone by Hastings and Holland under the 
ruse of exchanging some files. Mulder knew what was happening so he 
filled Scully in on what Hastings had told him before dinner.  
  
Grateful for his understanding, she was still suspicious.  "You guys 
started your profile yet?  I was wanting to sit in when you guys start 
laying it out, I may be able to offer some assistance."     
  
"No we were going to hash it out overnight.  Hastings doesn't sleep 
well either while in  the field, so we decided to stay up and get started 
on it.   You and Holland are welcome to join us.  It should be quite an 
eye-opening experience for him."  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of.  Mulder, he idolizes you.  I didn't want to say 
anything to you,  but he likes to look up old cases of ours and ask 
questions about how you made the connection in this case or the 
other.  It's like his favorite pastime!"

"Afraid of reliving some of the fond memories?"  Mulder asked full with 
amusement.

"You know what his nickname is around the Bureau?"

"I thought you told me not to listen to all that gossip."

Ignoring his comment, "Spooky Jr.!"

"Should I be flattered?"

"Mulder, you have no idea.  It's a bit unnerving to be with someone 
who worships the ground you walk on."

His eyes wide pretending to be hurt, "Now I'm insulted."   
 
"No seriously.... he admires you a lot."
 
"Hmm....you know....Jeff said something to me about that today 
also.....I mean the idolize part.  Kind of reminds me of  Sean Pendrell."  
  
"I don't think Pendrell idolized me, Mulder.  I just think he had a crush, 
if anything."  
  
"Nooo......," Mulder bit off in a sarcastic tone.  "You think?"  
  
After another moment of prolonged silence, Scully faintly smiled, "I 
kind of miss him.  He was always willing to help no matter what."  
  
"I know.  He was a good agent.......and friend."  
  
Taking her hand, Mulder attempted to shake her from the sudden 
melancholy. "Scully, let's get this guy.  I'm tired of the bad guys winning 
all the time." 
 
She squeezed back,  "Like old times."  
  
After walking back to the hotel, Scully went to retrieve the more than 
eager Agent Holland.  They all met in Hasting's and Mulder's room.  
They laid out all of the recent case files on the beds and matched up 
their notes with the correct deductions made by local PD and tried to 
start the construction of a profile.  
  
Since a lot of profiling is based on known offenders, past histories and 
intuition be seasoned law enforcement officers, they had the basics 
down by 1:00 AM.  
  
It was agreed that the suspect was probably a Caucasian male, between 
the ages of 25-40, military experience with a simple medical 
background, most likely at least six foot tall, physically strong, the  
product of the obligatory dysfunctional background, calm demeanor, 
intelligent, probably wears latex gloves of some type.  
  
The one thing that kept bugging Mulder was the ease with which the 
victims were being taken.  Even though some of  them were street 
people, something didn't add up.  
  
Without excusing himself, Mulder abruptly went over to one of the 
boxes of files that had been brought to his room.  He started digging in 
them at the dismay and questioning glances that the other three were 
giving each other.    
  
Mulder came back over with a couple of the files in his arms, sat them 
on the table and started reading through them without hesitation.  The 
other two agents were now both looking at Scully giving her the 'what 
in hell is he doing' look.  
  
"Mullldddderrrr?   What are you doing?"  Mulder put up his hand to 
stop her questioning and continued to look down at the file that was 
open.  After a few minutes and a few exasperated sighs from the other 
agents, Mulder shed a little light on to what he was thinking.  
  
"All right people this is where you can start questioning my sanity, just 
follow Scully's lead she's used to it."   This brought an 'oh-no here it 
comes' look from Scully.  
  
"Something keeps bothering me.  The ease at which this guy is taking 
the victims.  We fail to find any signs of struggle other than the whack 
to the back of the head or neck right?"  All three nodded in assent of 
the facts so far.  
  
"Well, back after the Green River murders had seemingly stopped, I did 
a little looking around into those to see if they were X-file status."  

Sitting back in her chair, Scully saw something in Mulder she hadn't 
seen in a long time.  A fire, a spark of determination fused with 
fascination that she was so familiar with.  "....so Reggie Purdue, my 
partner back then, and I couldn't interfere with the official investigation.  
He wasn't into the notion of X-files, but we did work up a preliminary 
profile on who we thought this guy was, just for the hell of it.  The 
kicker was the Green River murders were following a similar pattern.... 
right down to the lack of struggle.  I know this is going out on a limb, 
but I think this is the same guy."  
  
Shocking the hell out of everyone, Holland spoke up, "I think you're 
right.....it is a leap, but the profiles I've studied suggest this Spokane 
guy is not an amateur."  
  
Agent Hastings looked to Scully for her opinion, "Well even though we 
don't have any tangible correlation between the two killers, except for 
the fact that the scenes of the crimes are in the same state, I've been on 
too many cases with Mulder to totally discount anything he might 
suggest.....outright."  
  
This was as practically an agreement between the two old partners.  
Hastings nodded and thought on the past few minutes.  "Well, whether 
it is or not, we still have to catch this one.  Mulder as I recall, the Green 
River murders didn't involve any firearms, so on the surface your 
assumption would probably be dismissed by the local authorities.  But, I   
don't want to discount any idea at this time.  Why don't you and 
Holland spend tomorrow reviewing the Green River files and search for 
anything that might link the cases to the same killer."  
  
Mulder nodded his agreement.  "Agent Scully, you and I will go 
interview some of the latest victim's relatives tomorrow to see if 
anything they have to offer is of value.  As for tonight, I say we pack it 
in.  We're still on D.C. time, you know.  Let's all meet for tomorrow 
morning at 8 AM, sound good?" 

Tired and slightly ornery, the group disbanded and prepared for a night 
of rest. 
  
"Jeff, I'll be right back, I'm going to go get some ice for the room."  
Mulder picked up the ice bucket and headed out the door with Holland 
and Scully.  Hastings just shook his head and went about preparing for 
bed.  After wishing Holland a goodnight, Mulder walked back to 
Scully's room to talk for a second.    
  
After entering her room, Mulder slid into her arms and gave her a 
long, passionate kiss, "Mmmm.  I think I could hold you forever."  
  
"I liked the ice bucket excuse." she smirked.  
  
"Desperate situations call for desperate measures Agent Scully."  After 
holding each other for a few minutes more Mulder looked down, "Well, 
I better get going.  We don't want to give anyone the wrong ideas."  
  
"Don't forget your ice."  
  
"Yep, I have a feeling I'll be needing it."  
  
Frowning, "Yes Mulder.....I'll see you in the morning."  She leaned up 
on her tiptoes to plant another kiss on his bottom lip, "Sweet dreams, 
Mulder."  

Mulder leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Sleep well."  A pained 
smile graced his face as he left her room.  It would be a long case 
indeed.  
  
*************  


Washington State Police
Spokane Office
Saturday, November 6
8:23  PM

  
Working non-stop for the past five days, the teams rotated with each 
other, keeping all informed and fresh with the details, making sure no 
one had missed something that might be critical  
  
Mulder, Scully and Holland were sitting around the table inside the local 
police department that they had requested for a small base of attack.   
Flow charts, pictures and other evidence related paraphernalia adorned 
the walls.  Hastings was busy on the phone talking to Section Chief 
West giving him the latest update at the small, but steady progress 
being made.  
  
Mulder's mind drifted between conscious thought and wild speculation 
as he listed to Scully drone on about some chemical analysis procedure 
being used by the local police.  Giving way to the voice behind him 
talking to upper management he tried to stay awake.  
  
Jumping a bit at the sound of Jeff pulling out the chair next to him, 
Mulder wiped his face with his hands attempting to clear his mind for 
Jeff's report from the higher ups.  "All right folks, the Section Chief just 
gave us the good word.  The local politicians are pleased at the 
progress."    
  
Seeing the sardonic look from Scully, "I said pleased, not happy.  But, 
considering we've been at it for five days straight I convinced the boss 
to give us a day off."  
  
The other three looked up in surprise.  "I know it's not normal 
procedure, but we might be here awhile and the latest lab results won't 
be in until Monday afternoon so the Chief was willing to go along with 
my suggestion."  
  
Tired but happy, the group around the table seemed relieved to have 
the chance to sleep in for at least one day.  "Guys, you have until eight 
o'clock Monday morning to do whatever you want.  In fact, I don't want 
to hear from you unless it's an emergency.  Until then...," Hastings said 
looking at no one in particular.  
  
Picking up his keys and motioning his way to the door, "As for me, my 
reasons for the day off are purely selfish.  I'm headed out to a local river.   
I hear the fly fishing is great this time of year.  Use the cell number if  
you need to reach me."  
  
The other three all looked around in disbelief at the past few minutes, 
wondering what to do first.    
  
  
*************  
  
Courtyard Inn
9:07  PM

  
Arriving back at the hotel, Holland could sense the quiet tension slowly 
building in the car and made his way for his room after a quick 'good-
bye.'  Leaving the two remaining agents to themselves, unable to say 
anything.  
  
"So..."  Mulder said looking uncomfortably at Scully.  
  
Tapping her finger against her knee, "Yep."  
  
Looking over to each other, in quiet contemplation, Scully broke first.  
"My room.  Five minutes?"  
  
With that, they both found their way to their respective rooms quickly, 
yet patiently.    
  
Entering his, Mulder expected to see Jeff there in bed or getting ready 
for his fishing expedition the next day.  Neither was the case.

`He must have been renting the equipment,' Mulder thought to himself.

He sure hadn't seen him with any fishing gear.  Looking around, he saw 
Hasting's smaller weekend bag was gone along with a few other items 
from the bathroom.  
  
Returning to Scully's room just minutes later, with his own small bag of 
essentials, she opened the door before he could knock, pulling him into 
the room without haste.  
  
Locked in an enthusiastic embrace that lasted longer than either could 
have imagined, they pulled away, lightly chuckling to themselves.  
  
"I know this is not what you had in mind when you said you wanted 
everything to be perfect, Scully."  
  
Shaking her head into his chest, smiling.  "I know, but this will do."  
  
His arm around her waist, loosely, he caressed her temple, pushing a 
small lock of hair out of her face.  "There's a town east of here named 
Opportunity.  Could be an X-file, you know."  
  
Shaking her head, "In a strange sort of way, it's kind of appropriate 
we're in the field when this happens."  
  
Curving his own brow up in a question, "Confident, aren't we Agent 
Scully?"  
  
"I'll be back in a few minutes...... then we'll see who's confident Agent 
Mulder."  
  
After several agonizingly slow moments, for Mulder at least, Scully 
exited the small bathroom in an exquisite, one-piece, blue nightgown 
that flowed to the floor.  She started seductively walking over to where 
Mulder sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
"You packed that?"  
  
"I told you I was confident."  The amused look of his face was priceless.  
"A well prepared agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation should be 
prepared for all kinds of contingencies, Agent Mulder."  
  
Sitting on the side of the bed in a stupor of awe and arousal, Mulder 
could only offer one hushed word, "Unbelievable!"  

"Don't stop believing now, Mulder."
  
Coming over to stand between his parted legs, he embraced her waist, 
as she held his head to her breast.  

"Mulder, this was hard for me...we've been so much to each other over 
the years..... maybe I thought..... maybe I feared that this would change 
things."

Puzzled, Mulder waited for her to continue.  "But, when you walked 
out my door a few weeks ago....... that night.... I knew, no matter 
what... this is what we needed.  We've wanted each other for so long.... 
maybe too long... I just don't want this to be an end ... a destination....... 
I want so much more."  
  
Mulder looked up at her.  "Scully.... 'this' as you put ...... well, to me 
... it's a small part of the better whole... something that can only bring us 
closer...... that's all."   How appropriate in this moment for Mulder to 
crystallize the situation so eloquently. 

A soft smile formed at her lips as she affectionately looked down into 
his watery, hazel globes.  "Yes, it is Mulder."  Leaning down to whisper 
in his ear, "I love you, Mulder.  I've loved you for a long time."  He 
could only pull her tighter into his embrace, as she stroked his hair.  

The smooth satin material bunching in at the waist he held, Mulder 
relaxed his hold, smoothing the gown around her hips.  His hands 
became his eyes following their way around to her stomach.  In 
reverence, Mulder drank in the feel of her smooth skin unaware of 
where the gown ended and her flesh began.

A sharp intake of breath was released as Mulder found her breasts.  
Sitting high on her chest, they were firm and wonderfully sized.  The 
essence of beauty,  Mulder pushed the thin straps of the royal blue 
gown off her shoulders, allowing it to pool at her hips.

Feeling his hands explore her chest, Scully closed her eyes offering 
herself over to him completely.    The texture of his fingers gliding down 
her front, they made their way back to her waist where Mulder slipped 
the lingerie over her flared hips, exposing her.

The moment captured firmly in his memory, Mulder kissed her navel 
working his way back to her lips.
  
 
  
*************  
  
  
The early morning sparrows singing their beckoning call just outside 
their window marked the beginning of a new day as well as a new dawn.  
The soft siren's song of birds looking for a meal pulled Mulder from his 
sleep.  Even though he had occasionally shared a bed with Scully 
during the last month or so, this would be the first morning after   
they had finally taken the next step into greater things beyond what 
they had ever known.   
  
Opening his eyes slowly, he could feel Scully's arm draped, protectively, 
over his chest as she slept.  The early morning light creeping through 
the window allowed Mulder to enjoy this bit of tranquillity as he 
observed the woman he was falling deeper in love with every day.  
  
After his glimpse of her last night, completely open and uninhibited, the 
trust in each other they shared was raised impossibly another level.   
The feel of her skin against his was so intoxicating, it bordered on 
surreal.  His vivid imagination could never come close to the real thing.    
  
Scully shifted a bit in her sleep, pulling herself closer into his side.  
Unable to restrain himself, Mulder turned on to his side and hugged her 
close before turning them both back so she lay atop him, using his 
shoulder for a pillow.  
  
As his mind drifted again, he wondered how many times she had lay her 
head against that shoulder, in grief or pain, trying not to cry in front of 
him.  Slowly stroking her back to sleep with his light pressure along her 
spine, Mulder closed his eyes wanting to capture this moment in time, 
knowing there would never be a first time again.  This was more   
than special, it had turned out to be more than he could have ever 
hoped for.  
  
Scully was becoming more aware of her surroundings by the minute.  
The light, even breathing from Mulder drifted down to the top of her 
head, stirring a few tendrils of tousled hair against her face.     
  
The sparse hair along his chest shifting against her breasts tickled 
slightly, although not to the point of irritation as he rhythmically 
breathed to his own pace.  Her own face moving slightly in 
synchronous time to his chest, she let her own thoughts ride back to   
the previous hours of this early Sunday morning.     
  
The picture of Mulder mirroring her own brilliant smile was still firmly 
implanted in her own memory, as she tried to remember ever seeing him 
so happy and content.  The minutes following that first collective release 
had been the culmination of  a love fashioned from so many years 
together and so much time apart, each wanting desperately to never let 
the minutes pass.  
  
Feeling her eyelids blinking at a consistent rate against his skin, Mulder 
squeezed her tighter.  "Hey there."  
  
The sound of his voice in the morning hour so close to her own, she 
propped her chin up on his chest smiling warmly.  "Hey."    
  
  
  
*************  

Courtyard Inn
Wednesday, November 10
3:38 PM PST  

  
After several more days and one more body, the twenty-first to be 
specific, the agents still had little to go on.  The hair sample that came 
back from Washington did appear to be an unknown subject's.  Scully 
also identified a talcum powder residue from one of the latex victims 
which confirmed the latex glove theory and told them that the killer   
probably took the gloves off at the murder scene, even though none 
were ever found.  
  
Similarities to the Green River murders were striking, even though little 
of the physical evidence matched up.  The MO was similar in several 
cases except for the murder weapon, and the suffering that the killer 
inflicted upon the victim was also comparable.  By the following 
Tuesday after a week had passed, tensions were mounting and the   
investigators were growing impatient.  
  
Scully and Mulder spent the day reviewing case histories of the victims 
trying to find something that would place some commonality between 
some of the more recent victims.  Police patrols were beefed up. 
Newspapers, TV stations and local flyers got the word out to the street 
about the killer.  As the time drew near for another body to show up, 
Mulder feared the killer would escalate his activities afraid of his own 
capture.  
  
After lunch Mulder retired to the balcony of his hotel room and sat out 
watching the city below.  Sensing his tension, Scully followed him and 
started to repay him the backrub he had given her a few weeks ago.    
"Feel good?"  
  
"To be honest Scully, I don't know what feels better...the backrub or 
just having a little peace and quiet with you alone."  
  
She continued to work her small hands into the knots that had built up 
over his neck during the past few days.   Quietly continuing she was 
satisfied just to spend a little down time with him in silence.  They 
watched the traffic below and Mulder relaxed a little more into the 
plastic patio chair.    As she continued, Mulder started watching the 
traffic patterns with great intensity.  He noticed that it seemed that 
every dozen or so cars that went by a police car was not far behind.  His 
mind on the edge of exhaustion from thinking so much, started to ride 
the waves of unmolested thoughts that occasionally crossed his mind.  
  
"Scully?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"What if the killer is hiding in plain sight?  What if he's right in front of 
us and we can't even see him?"  
  
"What are you suggesting Mulder, that the killer is invisible to the 
human eye?"  
  
"What I'm suggesting is maybe he's only invisible to the one's looking 
for him.  He would still be visible to the potential victims...."  
  
"I'm still not following you Mulder.  What are you saying?"  She took 
her hands away from his neck and pulled up a chair to join him.  
  
"I've been sitting here the last few minutes noticing that just about 
every minute or so a police car goes by.  To the average 'Joe," they 
wouldn't pay it much mind with the recent attacks, but what if ....."  
  
Mulder was cut off before he could continue, "What if the killer was a 
cop?   Mulder, you know... "  
  
"What if it were Scully?  It would fit the profile.  Familiarity with 
weapons, some basic medical knowledge, access to latex gloves, 
possible military background......"  
  
"You do have a point Mulder, but what about the Green River 
connection?"  Scully looked to him with her arms folded across her 
chest.  "It couldn't be that simple, could it?"  
  
"What about we drop by the local P.D. headquarters and let our finger's 
do the walking through some personnel files?"  
  
Exasperated, "Mulder...they're not just going to let us waltz in there, 
accuse one of their own, and hand over whatever we want."  
  
"Why not?"  Mulder looked incredulously at her.  "I'll bet you a 
backrub when we get home that they will."  

Mulder looked extremely confident  "After twenty one murders, I bet 
their Internal Affairs department is as much a bunch of snakes in the 
grass as our O.P.C. is."  
  
This caused Scully to pause.  Not at the bet, but at the reference to IA.  
They were always a necessary evil.  "Deal Mulder, but don't be 
surprised if they laugh at you."  
  
Deciding not to waste another second they both retrieved their coats.  
On the way to the station, Scully called Hastings to inform them of their 
progress, without giving him the reasons why.  She still wasn't sure.  
  
After finding Detective Willmore, they pulled him into an interrogation 
room and calmly explained their suspicions.  Willmore was a little 
hesitant like Scully, but he wanted this killer found just as badly, no 
matter who it was.   He found his Lieutenant and they discussed the 
possibility.  The Lieutenant was just as ready to get this over and the 
'Fibbies' out of his hair so he set up the meeting with IA.  
  
Mulder suspected it to be a patrolman if anything.  He would have 
opportunity, mode of transport and time alone to commit the crimes. 
Mulder convinced the Lieutenant to talk to IA over the phone, even 
though the office was only two floors up.  

Mulder and Scully both knew that the sight of them talking to anyone in 
IA would send signals to the entire police force within hours that the 
FBI were investigating one of their own. After only five minutes, the 
Director of Internal Affairs agreed to the personnel reviews.   
  
Leaning over to whisper in her ear while the Lieutenant made the covert 
plans, Mulder could only think of one thing to say, "Sucker bet!"  
  
Scully leaned back in her chair with a scowl as  Mulder sat up straight 
twisting his neck as if he had a knot in his back.  'You better be glad 
you're in public, Mulder.  I'll give your neck something to squirm 
about.'  This silent message was received by Mulder who was now 
smugly looking around.  
  
The Lieutenant hung up the phone, "Well it's all set up.  We'll search 
the computer database from my office and any files you want pulled I'll 
have Human Resources deliver them to the Captain, who will transport 
them to your hotel tonight.  That should keep the busy-bodies from 
suspecting anything's up.  IA wants to join you to officially start an   
investigation if needed.  Is that okay?"  
  
"Sounds good to me, what do you think Mulder?"    
  
"I think if we're right it won't take too long to search your database."  
The Lieutenant threw Mulder a puzzling look and unconsciously asked 
him to go on.  
  
"We think that the same guy that is doing this is also responsible for 
the Green River murders a few years back.  So, I would like to search 
the employee database for any officer's that transferred here or used to 
live or work in the Seattle area between the years of let's say.....1980 
and 1989."  
  
Detective Willmore started to put the pieces together in his head and 
sat down behind the computer station.  With a password provided by 
IA, Willmore started to search the database for all officers not on the 
Spokane force in the 1980's.    It wasn't long after they had found three 
possible suspects who had a military background, lived in Seattle 
during the '80s and were full-time patrolmen.  A black, rookie cop who 
would have been a murderer while still in his teens was quickly thrown 
from contention, but the remaining two officers fit the age, description 
and possible profile.  
  
Mulder and Scully requested the two files and headed back to the hotel.  
When they arrived back at the hotel full of energy, they almost scared 
the other two, tired agents with their news.  This recent development 
inspired Hastings and Holland.  It was not long after ordering room 
service that Detective Willmore joined them with the two files.  Mulder   
and Scully took one file and Hastings and Holland took the other.    
  
After about thirty minutes Hastings interrupted the silence to inform 
Mulder that the guy they were looking at couldn't be the killer.  He was 
a Sergeant, who rarely patrolled and had just gotten back from a 
vacation to Europe during which, one of the murders were committed.  
  
Scully and Mulder, however, had a real good prospect.   Anthony Lee 
Kospeki.  He was  39 years old, single, served in the Seattle PD  
between the years of 1982 and 1988, did a tour of duty in Desert Storm 
with the National Guard.  He fit the profile almost to the tee.    
  
Kospeki was an average cop with average commendations who neither 
got in to trouble,  nor distinguished himself in his duties.  Few 
complaints, some charity work and rarely took vacations.     
  
The next morning IA seized the patrol logs from the past several weeks 
and continued to search for clues via the phone.  Only four people in 
the Spokane Police Department knew the search had been narrowed to 
one of their own officers. Willmore, his Lieutenant, his Captain and the 
Director of IA.   Scully and Holland collected all the known forensic   
information together and prepared to compare it to evidence they would 
collect that afternoon after a search warrant had been secured.    
  
Spokane PD  made sure that Kospeki was on patrol while Mulder, 
Scully, Holland, Hastings, and Willmore quietly executed the warrant.  
Mulder did not want this guy to get a whiff of suspicion so he made 
everyone wear gloves and keep things in order  Accessing his 
apartment was easy.  It was tucked away on the backside of an older 
apartment building.  After picking the lock, one by one over the span of 
twenty minutes they entered the apartment, not wanting to draw any 
suspicion.   Scully went about collecting fibers from the carpet and hair 
from the bathroom sink while Mulder and Hastings looked for the tale-
tell signs of a serial killer.  Finding several small caliber weapons that fit 
the description that Scully had provided them, they confiscated them 
along with a box of latex gloves from under the sink and a woman's 
charm bracelet that had all the markings of a trophy from one of his 
victims.  
  
They left the building just as quietly as they had entered and made their 
way back to the police station.  Needing time to analyze the evidence 
gathered they had a partner assigned to Kospeki under the guise of new 
officer training.  They knew he wouldn't try anything with a partner 
along for the ride.   Kospecki would never know.  

To further conceal their intentions, Mulder had announced to the press 
that a new team from the FBI would replace them next week to try and 
get a fresh approach on the crimes, they were stumped.  
  
Over the next forty-eight hours the case mounted with unprecedented 
clarity.  The samples collected from his apartment matched the few 
pieces of evidence they had collected from the victims.   It wasn't a 
surprise to find out the bracelet recovered from Kospeki's apartment 
matched that of a victims that had been taken during the Green River 
murders.  It would only be a matter of time before they could pin 
Kospeki to the other murders up there too.  
  

*************

  
Friday, November 12,   
Residence of Anthony Lee Kospeki  
4:02 AM  
  
At four in the morning, not much in Spokane was usually awake.   
Suffice it to say,  Anthony Kospeki wasn't either.  At exactly 4:01 a 
SWAT team, followed by the four FBI agents rushed through his door 
and startled the man awake throwing him in handcuffs, reading to him 
his rights and executing the Search Warrant which now called for his   
arrest under the suspicion of at least fourteen murders in the greater 
Spokane metropolitan area.  
  
Exiting the apartment just a few minutes later to make room for the 
FBI's forensic collection team, they piled into their car and left for the 
local office of the W.S.P. where they were prematurely welcomed as 
heroes.  At least by the few desk officers that had heard the early 
morning news on the radio.   They set down to fill out the necessary 
paperwork that would turn the case over the local authorities and 
started to make travel arrangements to leave town.  Spokane Police's 
Internal Affairs along with the Washington State Police would head up 
the investigation now.  
  
Arriving back at the hotel by 11:00 AM, Mulder followed Scully back to 
her room.  'To hell what anyone thinks now', he thought to himself.  
  
As soon as the door shut, Scully found herself in his arms and 
embraced him as hard as she could.  "You were right.....again."  She 
continued to hold him as they rocked back and forth, enjoying the feel 
of each other in their arms.  
  
He smiled, looking deeply into her clear-blue eyes.  "It was a two step 
process that got us the killer.......you and me......Scully and 
Mulder....just like the old days."  
  
Seized by his generous observation she pulled him down to kiss him 
with all the passion she could draw forth. They would have gotten 
farther if it weren't for the phone ringing in his coat.  Stepping back to 
cool the moment, he answered the phone.  
  
"Mul-Mulder."  Scully sheepishly laughed at the flustered look on 
Mulder's face.    
  
"Yes, Sir.......................thank you, sir................we had a fine team, 
sir..............I will tell them.............thank you again, sir............your 
welcome...........yes, we'll be arriving home early Sunday 
morning..........good day, sir.  
  
"Who the hell was that Mulder.....I've never heard you say the word 'sir' 
that many times in one day let alone one phone conversation."  
  
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."  
  
Near exasperation, "Whooooo?"  
  
"The Director..."    
  
Scully looked in awe, "You're right, Mulder, I don't believe you."  
  
"He wanted to give us his thanks on a job well-done, and told us to take 
Monday off."    They resumed their positions in each other's arms 
smiling like there was no tomorrow.   The door knocked and Mulder 
yelled "Come in," without letting go.  

Hastings entered with Holland quick on his heels.  "We're not 
interrupting anything are we?"  
  
Scully held the embrace, "No, we were just celebrating the end of 
this case.  You won't believe who just gave Mulder a call."  
  
Hastings smiled, "If it's the same Director of the FBI that I spoke to, he 
probably told you about taking Monday off."  At that moment 
something clicked in his mind that he hadn't even thought of yet.  
  
"You gave him my cell phone number didn't you," Mulder asked in 
slight disbelief.  
  
"Well as much as I would like to take all the credit, I can't.  I told the 
Director that you were the one directly responsible who broke the 
case."  
  
Stepping away from Scully, he held out his hand to shake Hastings.   
"That wasn't really necessary of you ...... I couldn't have done any of 
this without you, Holland, or Scully."    
  
"Well, it's high time you start getting some praise instead of the usual 
jokes."  Looking over to Scully, "Wouldn't you agree Agent Scully?"  
  
Scully stood beside Mulder with her arm around his waist, "I would 
have to agree Agent Hastings."  

Holland who had kept quiet until now piped up, "I would second that 
Agent Hastings," as he held his hand out to Mulder who took it with a 
firm shake.  
  
Squeezing Scully a little tighter, "What do you say, we get out of here."  
  
An hour later, with bags packed the weary investigators found their way 
to the regional jet-port.   Before arriving they set out to enjoy an 
afternoon dinner along the way.  Their flight would leave at 5:47 PM 
and with a connection would arrive back at Reagan National at 2:45 
AM.  
  
Sometime after 4:00 AM in the morning the two exhausted travelers 
collapsed into bed happy to be home again.    
  
  


  
[Chances Are Few]  
  


  
  
Tuesday, November 16,  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
8:30 AM  
  
  
  
Arriving back to work after spending the bulk of the past forty-eight 
hours in bed for one reason or the other, the pair enjoyed the fact that 
the daily grind would await them, or so they thought.  
  
They were ill-prepared for the reaction they were to receive upon 
entering the Hoover building that morning.  Everyone was staring more 
than usual, pointing fingers and other non-descript gestures pointing 
them out to others.  Upon arriving at their desks they discovered 
newspaper after newspaper with the articles about the stories of their 
capture of the suspect, circled and highlighted.  Mulder's phone ringed 
first.  
  
"Mulder"  
  
"Hey, it's me....Can you believe this......I feel like a celebrity or 
something."  
  
"Or something.....don't get used to it, they'll be back to calling us Mr. 
and Mrs. Spooky pretty soon, once things settle down.  Did you get the 
letter from the Mayor's office in Spokane?"  
  
"Yes I did, along with an e-mail for us to meet with SAC West for 
debriefing in an hour."  
  
"Yep, I guess it's back to the grindstone, as usual.  Skinner sent a note 
for both of us, also.  He wanted to know how come we took so long to 
make him look so good."  
  
Scully stifled a snort, "We'll just have to tell him since we got out of  
the line of fire from stern lectures on policy and procedure."  
  
"Yeah well, I still don't think this will last too long.  Don't worry Scully, 
I'll be sure to mess something up next week in order to get things back 
to the way they were."  
  
"Mulder, you really don't like being in the limelight do you?"  
  
Scully looked across the bullpen to see him squirming in his chair.  "Not 
particularly, no.  I never got into this for the glory moments.  I just don't 
see the use in people getting overly praised for doing what they're paid 
to do.  I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but if someone had 
of been doing their jobs in Washington, maybe fifty or so people would 
not have died."  
  
"Well, you have a talent that is rare..."  
  
Shaking his head back and forth, "Believe me, it's not a talent you want 
to have."  
  
"You truly amaze me, Mulder.  Every time I think I know you, you 
uncover another layer of yourself that amazes me even more...."    
  
Halting her in mid-thought, with a swarthy look from across the bullpen 
"Scully.....would that be a good thing?"  
  
Her head down studying something at her desk, Mulder could hear the 
smirk on her face.  "Later, Mulder."  
  
The debriefing lasted only an hour and was punctuated by more 
glowing remarks than Mulder had ever heard in one sitting, let alone his 
entire life.  He kept deflecting praise to Hastings, Holland, and Scully, 
but West had already been informed by Hastings who was responsible 
for what.   The case report, they were told would be published at 
Quantico for study.     
  
  
*************  

Gertie's Grill
 1:14 PM 
  
Relaxing over lunch, they exchanged the remarks made by fellow agents 
and laughed at the silliness of it all.  From Bureau pariahs to Bureau 
princes almost overnight.   
  
"So Scully, it looks like they're going to make your forensics sub-
department permanent from what I hear."  
  
"That's the word going around.  You think you could handle living with 
an ASAC?"  
  
Ducking to miss her oncoming blow at his next comment, "I feel like 
I've been living with a bossy woman for the last several years."  
  
"Watch it Mulder!  I'll make you regret those words....."  
  
At about that time, an older looking man walked up to their table.   
Tensing up, Mulder let his arm settle down to his side in the direction of 
his weapon, by habit.  "Excuse me are you Special Agent Fox Mulder."  
  
Cautiously answering, "Yes, that's me."  Scully had grown very quiet 
and studied the older gentleman who had just brazenly broken into their 
lunch.  
  
Extending a hand, "Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I'm Trent Rogers."  
  
Mulder looked to Scully to see if the name registered with her.  A blank 
expression extended into a similar plea of help from her.  She couldn't 
ever remember meeting him, but for some reason his name and face rang 
a bell.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I can't place the name....Mr. Rogers?"  
  
"Oh, please forgive me Agent Mulder.  I was a friend of your father's.....  
We worked at the State Department around the same time. I wasn't able 
to keep in contact with your father, but I recognized your name from 
the paper this morning about the case you solved in Washington..........I 
just wanted to say congratulations."  
  
Visibly relaxing a bit, Mulder shook his hand, "Thank you." Gesturing 
across the table to Scully, "Sir, this is uhh.............Agent Scully, who 
was also on the team that caught Kospeki."  
  
"Ah yes, Dr. Scully.  So nice to meet you too."  Offering his hand to 
Scully,  "I've heard a lot about the Mulder and Scully team back a few 
years ago when the FBI still had that X-files division.  It would seem 
VCS, got the choice pick from that division."  
  
Lightening up herself, "It seems as though they got the only picks, the 
division was only made up of the two of us."  
  
Mulder offered him a seat.  Sliding in to the booth next to Mulder, Mr. 
Rogers offered a warm smile as a 'thank you.'    "So, Mr. Rogers, what 
brings you to Washington?"  
  
"Please call me Trent.   I live here in D.C. as well as Oklahoma....."  
  
Scully's nirvana set in as she recognized the name and the face as one 
of the key members of the Congressional Hearings into the IRS scandal.  
"You're the Congressman, correct?"  
  
Modestly smiling, "Yes, Dr. Scully, I'm that Trent Rogers.  It seems that 
being a House Representative is not as inconspicuous as I was once led 
to believe."  
  
Mulder, by now, recognized this man and the key role he had played in 
the hearings that eventually led to the IRS being overhauled along with 
the tax codes.  "Well not if you're going to spend quality air time on 
CNN day in and day out for close to six months."  
  
Acknowledging the fact that these two were now familiar with his work, 
Rogers could only shyly smile in return.    
  
Interested in knowing how he knew his father, Mulder continued.  
"So...Trent?  Did you know my father well?"  Mulder received a 
warning glare from Scully.  
  
"Well, not really.  We worked in different areas.  I knew of him through 
other colleagues, mostly.  As you probably already know, Agent 
Mulder, your father did a lot of 'traveling' in his work."  
  
The word 'traveler' held significant meaning to Mulder as he recognized 
it's importance to his father's secretive work.  Throwing Scully a 
derisive smirk, "Yeah, that's what I hear........he really got around."  
  
Sensing he had stepped onto a sore subject, "I'm sorry if I upset you....I 
didn't meant to..."  
  
Cutting him short, "No...no. it's history."  Taking another look at the 
older gentleman sitting next to him.  "I've made my peace with my 
father."  
  
Rogers, feeling a little awkward about raising such a sensitive issue 
decided to change the subject.   "If you're not busy next Monday 
evening I would like to invite you to come to my home just outside of 
Arlington for a celebratory party....all my campaign staff and family are 
going to be there.....it would be nice to have someone from your family 
there..." 

Looking across the table to Scully, "You too, Dr. Scully.  I would like 
to see you both there if you're not busy."  
  
Before Mulder could get the question out, Rogers explained.  "It's not 
official yet, but I'm going to announce next Monday, at a press 
conference, my intentions to run for the nomination of my party to 
become the next President."  
  
Scully and Mulder simultaneously looked up from the table to observe 
the distinguished gentleman who had so boldly joined them for lunch.  
A potential candidate for the next Presidency of the United States.  
  
Tensing up a little, Mulder answered.  "Uhh...well...please don't take 
offense, but I'm not very good with politicians......or social events."  
  
Looking over to catch Dr. Scully's reaction, Rogers saw a supportive 
smile that echoed Mulder's sentiment.  
  
"Oh....I see, well then, sorry to disturb you.  I just wanted to say you 
two did a fine job.  Have a nice day."  
  
Mulder, who was now a bit annoyed at the cumulative pace of warm 
wishers, "Well, thank you sir.  It's nice of you to say so.......good luck."  
  
Rogers disappeared into the lunch crowd as soon as he had arrived.  
Scully turned her focus to Mulder. 

"So what was up with my introduction, Mulder?  It sounded as if you 
forgot I was here."  She sounded slightly hurt, letting him know she was 
only putting on an act.  
  
"No, no, .....it's just that for a minute.....I didn't know what to call you?"  
  
"Call me?"  Scully screwed a perplexed look to her face.  
  
"To be honest outside of work, I don't really know how to present 
you?"  
  
This produced an even more questioning look from her that told him he 
was about to put his foot firmly in his mouth.  "Present me?
  
"Well... girlfriend is too immature, roommate isn't entirely true, best 
friend doesn't say enough, were not technically partners anymore....... 
help me out here Scully."  
  
With a look of angelic innocence, "Oh no Mulder, you're doing a pretty 
good job yourself of digging your own grave."  
  
"Ahhh, Scully you know what I mean.  I just .........what are we?"   

With her famous pointed look that could stop a runaway truck, "What 
do you want us to be, Mulder?"  
  
"I haven't much thought about it until recently.  The past couple of 
months have been going by pretty quickly."  
  
Sympathizing with his thoughts, "Well..... I haven't thought much about 
it either."

The silence that reined between them was neither uncomfortable nor 
easy.  It was time that they looked at each other in a way that maybe 
they hadn't thought to yet.

"We've had one thing after the other to worry about since we got 
together, it seems.  I have a feeling we'll figure it out in time, which 
leads me into our next topic of discussion."  
  
With a wary sound in his throat, "What's that?"  
  
"Your plans for Thanksgiving. "  
  
"What did you have in mind?"  
  
"Well, my mom invited you over to join in the usual Scully feast.  
Would you like to bring your 'girlfriend' along?"  
  
Regretting his earlier words as she poked fun at his insecurities, 
"Sounds good to me,  my mom usually goes to her sister's place 
since..."  
  
Cutting off his trip through memory lane, before he could mire himself 
in the past, "Well it's settled then.  We'll spend the day in Baltimore with 
mom and Bill's family....."  
  
"Bill's coming?"   Scully grabbed his hand to get his attention.  "Mulder, 
he's going to have to get over it sooner or later.......and if he doesn't...... 
I'm not going to lose much sleep over it.   Bill has always been stubborn, 
he'll just have to live with it."  
  
After lunch, they headed back to the office where a couple of week's 
worth expense reports were waiting to be filed.  Accounting would have 
a field day with the receipts that followed.    
  


*************

  
Annapolis, Maryland 
Friday, November 19,   
7:23 PM  
  
Finding the weekend at their doorstep, Mulder and Scully arrived home 
and planned to do something that was a little more normal, at least for 
them.  A night out in the nation's capital as a couple offered a nice 
change into the realm of mediocrity that they felt was well deserved.
  
Changing into something a little more casual, the pair headed for the 
door until the phone stopped them.  Scully u-turned to catch it before 
the machine picked up, "Hello?"  
  
Scully visibly tensed at the caller on the other end.   "Oh, hello 
Mike..........yes, long time-no see........or hear..............yeah that case 
kept me busy......................sorry Mike...............this is kind of a bad 
time......................well Mike, I'm kind of seeing someone pretty steady 
right now...........................no, I'm not engaged.................it will   
probably................uh.............Mike, I think you  should...............Mike, 
I'm not interested.................................uhh.....Good-bye Mike."  
  
Mulder was now sitting on the couch in a state of amusement with her 
fractured conversation with a probable past suitor.    After slamming the 
phone down, she slumped down on the couch beside him shaking her 
head.  

In the most innocent sounding voice he could produce, "Why, 
Scully do you have a boyfriend I'm not aware of?"  His smile was 
bordering too far on the edge of sheer entertainment for Scully's liking.  
  
"If you must know Mulder, that was Mike Jarvis.  He was in the Navy 
with my brother.  Bill has been trying to set him up with me ever since 
.....since.....hell I don't know."  
  
Continuing with his probing, "yessss?"  
  
"Well a couple of months or so after we went to VCS, during our 
........period of discontent...."  
  
"Ooh, very well put, Scully, I like that," he responded sarcastically.  
  
Seething, "Shutup, Mulder.......as I was saying, during our..."  
  
Mulder chimed in, "period of discontent."  
  
"....yes, I gave in and went out on a couple of dates with him.  He was a 
friend of Bill's from the Navy..... and I thought he was mine too.  Bill 
kept pestering me to take him out... you know... show him the sights.  
He was a nice guy.  Smart, somewhat attractive, but he just......just 
wasn't what I was looking for.   I admit at the time I was a little lonely 
and was trying new things."  
  
"And........."  
  
"On the second date, it was obvious where his interest lay.........and yes 
the operative word was lay, Mulder."  
  
"Why Dana Katherine Scully, are you suggesting he was trying to get 
into your bed???"  Mulder was clearly having a good time with Scully's 
plight.  
  
Scully's eyes turned into slits, as if examining Mulder for dissection at 
the use of her full name.

"More like my pants Mulder, and he wasn't too subtle.  Everything was 
okay on the first date... then he got weird.... all he wanted to talk about 
was my work.  I can't believe Bill would even know a creep like that."  
  
Containing his laughter, "Well you know Scully, you have very lovely 
pants to try to get into, you can't blame a guy can you?"  
  
"Why does your answer not surprise me Mulder?"  She sat there 
glaring at him with her arms folded neatly across her chest tapping her 
foot.  The trio of doom that usually spelled disaster for whoever she 
was questioning.  
  
"Because all men are pigs?  Something about a beautiful woman makes 
us go crazy?  It's biological?  I don't know.....take your pick."  

Her stare softened a bit as Mulder turned serious.  "This Mike guy isn't 
going to be a problem....is he?"  
  
"No, he's harmless.  I think I'll just have to give my brother call to have 
him inform Mike of my current status.  
  
"And just what that status be?"  Mulder held a mischievous light in his   
eyes.  
  
"Taken, Agent Mulder."  
  
"Come on Scully, let's go.  Mike will have to make other arrangements 
tonight."  He pulled her off the couch and headed out the door.  
  
  
*************  

Hobart's Seafood 
7:54 PM  


They settled for a seafood restaurant called Hobart's along the Potomac.  
Looking out over the waterfront, Reagan National could be seen as jets 
would land and take off every few minutes.

Filling Mulder in on one of her family's traditions she told him the story 
of how they would eat seafood on Friday nights, especially when her 
father was out to sea.  The fact that such family traditions existed was 
fascinating if not mildly depressing for Mulder.  Before that long 
remembered night in November there had been such carefree days of 
splendor and tradition.  Hopefully, now, there would be more.
  
Her mind still reeling from the conversation on the phone with Mike, 
Scully tried to ease her mind.  "Out of curiosity, Mulder.  Did you see 
anyone else, other than Janice, that year we were.....apart?"  
  
Shaking his head, "Nope, just me and the Gunmen on occasion.  
Frohike tried to drag me out to a couple of bars a few times, but I 
usually just hung out and listened to Byers wax philosophical about a 
lost love he once had.   It was pretty depressing actually and sometimes 
made me feel a little better."  
  
Eyes as wide open as he had ever seen them, "Byers?  You mean Byers 
from the Lone Gunman?"  
  
"Yes, that's the only Byers I know."

Her eyebrow reaching untold heights,  "Come on Scully he's not that 
bad a guy.  I know Frohike and Langly can come off a little flaky 
sometimes, but Byers is a pretty deep man once you get past his..... 
formality."  
  
"I suppose, but it's just kind of difficult to imagine you and Byers sitting 
around talking about such things."  
  
"Well, I don't know what to say.  I ran into him a few weeks ago.  He 
was happy to hear that we had finally settled our differences."  
  
"Have you heard from Janice lately?"  
  
Mulder's eyes picking up in curiosity, "I got a message from her on my 
machine at home last week.  It's been a while."  
  
"Does she know.... I mean about us?"  
  
Nodding in her direction, "She knows that we're..... seeing each other 
exclusively now...."  
  
"I'd like to meet her sometime, Mulder."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Since telling me about her, I've been rather curious."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"I don't know.... I'm just curious to meet the woman that was finally 
able to get you to open up."  
  
"Don't worry, I think you loosened the lid a bit."  Mulder winked.  
    
  
*************  
  
  
Margaret Scully's home  
Thanksgiving Day  
November 25,   

  
Mulder had dragged Scully from bed this morning in preparation of the 
Holiday festivities.   As the day had crept upon them, it turned out 
Scully was dreading the visit more than Mulder.   Mulder had decided to 
turn his cheek at all barbs thrown his way.  This was Scully's family and 
he was determined to be on his best behavior, if not for Scully's sake, 
then at least for Mrs. Scully's.   There was an unspoken connection   
between them that dated back to the horrible period when Scully was 
missing for three months, he didn't want to let her down again.    
  
Arriving on Mrs. Scully's doorstep at eleven, Mulder wrapped a 
reassuring arm around a tentative Scully's shoulder.  Mrs. Scully 
opened the door and hugged her daughter as she welcomed them into 
the warm house with an overly cheerful smile.  The moment of truth   
was soon arriving.    
  
Bill Jr. and his wife Tara were sitting in the living room.   After hugging 
his sister and trading a few sibling pokes at each other, he held out a 
clammy hand to Mulder with a murmured, 'Happy Thanksgiving.'  To 
his credit Mulder returned the handshake firmly, greeting Tara and 
Charlie's wife in the same way, wishing them a warm holiday greeting as 
well.  
  
There for the Thanksgiving dinner were also Bill's three children.  
Matthew, the one who was born on the day Scully's daughter died, was 
growing fast.  Mulder hadn't even thought about the connection until 
he had seen Scully play with the toddler earlier.  It would be a long day 
for sure.    
  
Mulder sat in the living room with Scully's brother and in-laws trying 
not to say anything out of place, while Dana helped her mother in the 
kitchen with last minute preparations.  Sarah's two little boys took an 
instant liking to the man they knew as `Fox.'  Concentrating on his 
young followers.
  
Fighting with a jar of cherries that didn't want to open, Scully took the 
jar from her mother and opened it without trouble.  She handed it back 
without a word, not wanting to acknowledge that as time was wearing 
on, her mother wasn't as capable as she had once been.  
  
Seeing her daughter carry on as if nothing was different, Margaret 
Scully looked past her daughter to see a grown woman with 
responsibilities, a demanding career and as of late a quiet serenity that 
was a new aspect of her life.  
  
Stepping closer to Dana, in order to keep her voice down, "How are 
things, Dana?"  
  
Replying from her automatic set of patterned answers for her mother, 
"Fine.  Everything's good."  
  
"And Fox?"  
  
Scully recognized the tone of voice, the pitch of curiosity and the 
wariness a mother would always have for a single daughter.  "Mulder is 
doing well.... we're both doing okay."   
  
"I'm glad you brought him today."  Margaret was always good at 
detecting possible points of tension. 
  
"I was a little unsure.... you know he isn't Bill's favorite person."  
  
"He's just being a big brother, I'm sure Fox knows what it's like....."  
  
Margaret instantly regretted the insensitive words, trying to suck them 
back in to her mouth after seeing the look on her daughter's face.  
Holding her mouth with a free hand, one might have thought she was 
literally trying to do so.
  
"Mom...... I think holidays are a little uncomfortable for Mulder, this 
one especially.  Try not to remind him of why."  
  
"I'm sorry, I ... I don't know what I was thinking.  I can't believe I 
forgot...."  
  
Disappointed, Scully left the kitchen to find Mulder and call the rest of 
the family to the table.  
  
Talk around the table soon centered on the Spokane case.  Being in the 
news nationally as well as locally prompted Tara to ask what it was like 
to hunt down the killer.  Tara and Sarah had a real sense of adventure, 
considering how they were usually homebound with the children while 
their husbands were out at sea.  
  
Mulder felt comfortable with this topic so he went about telling the 
story, without the gore, to an increasingly interested audience.  Scully 
beamed a little as Mulder recounted the details.  For someone who 
shunned the spotlight, Mulder had certainly become adept at telling the 
story.  It wasn't long before Bill became annoyed of the conversation   
centering on Mulder.  
  
"So Dana, I hear Mike Jarvis called you up last week.  Was there a 
problem with seeing an old friend of mine?"  Bill was staring directly at 
Mulder as Tara's fingernail dug her husband's leg under the table.  Bill 
had obviously not kept his promise to remain civil.  
  
Suddenly, Scully put two and two together.  Bill HAD known about her 
and Mulder and  called Mike, to inform him and possibly stir up trouble.  
  
Mulder was now politely smiling at a grimacing Tara as he continued to 
eat in quiet.  He had done the arithmetic as well.

"No, we've just been rather tied up with work."  A direct and pointed 
glare in her brother's direction only seemed to increase the hostility. 
Scully fumed as she deliberated her next course of action.  
  
"Well Mike is a friend of mine.  I hope you don't treat all YOUR friends 
as coldly."  That was it.  Upon reviewing the situation, Mulder later 
decided that the word 'coldly' was the beginning of the end for Bill.  

The rest of the dinner was spent in idle family conversation making 
Mulder feel a bit out of place.  In a strange way, it felt good.  The recent 
Thanksgiving days of his were usually spent with his mother in 
Connecticut trying to put on the facade of the dutiful son.  

Thanksgivings, more than any other holiday,  had always been difficult 
because of Samantha's disappearance.  In recent years, Mulder had also 
taken a side trip of his own a couple days before the holiday.  A solitary 
vigil to a sister's grave that had come to symbolize, in a perverse way, 
all that he once sought for and all that was lost.
  
The meal over with and finding it increasingly difficult to be with her 
family, Scully decided leaving might be the best course of action.  

In the most civil voice she could produce, "Bill, it was really nice to see 
you again." Reaching down to grab Mulder's hand, she pulled and asked 
him with her eyes if he was ready to leave in one motion.  Mulder 
pulled himself up, and walked around to Mrs. Scully.    
  
Leaning down to kiss her cheek he told her softly, "Thanks for having 
me Mrs. Scully, it was a wonderful meal, Happy Thanksgiving."  She 
smiled warmly up at him with semi-pained look on her face.  Mulder 
then offered his hand to both of the other women and wished them well.  
  
Scully walked around and hugged her mother, "Sorry, Mom, but I can't 
deal with him today."  

Margaret looked up into her daughter's eyes with confusion and kissed 
her back.  "Dana, you don't have to go so soon do you?"  Scully only 
glanced over at her brother casting him a disgusting look.  
  
Scully said her good-byes, conspicuously ignoring Bill.  "Come on, 
Mulder.  Let's go."  Mulder took her hand and they both walked out the 
door, leaving Bill to the awkward silence and glare of the remaining 
Scully women.  
  
  
**************  
  
2:46 PM


"Just give him some time, Dana.  He'll never like the idea of me in your 
life...... I understand."  
  
There it was again.  Her first name.  It wasn't as if she objected to his 
use of it, she just didn't think she would ever get used to hearing it from 
him on a regualar basis.  To him, she was Scully.  She liked Scully.  It 
was something...... totally Mulder's and Mulder's alone, she liked to 
think.

"This is different, Mulder.  He's just not the brother I remember.....  
Ever since Missy died, Bill Jr. has been on a crusade to be my keeper, 
protector."  
  
Scully remained silent in her thoughts as Mulder drove, not noticing he 
was headed in a different direction other than home.  Pulling around the 
rolling green landscape dotted with marble, Scully soon realized where 
Mulder had taken her. 

"I hope you don't mind, but I think there is someone you need to see." 


She opened the door as Mulder headed to the trunk and produced a 
bouquet of flowers that he  obviously picked up this morning while 
running a last minute errand for her.    
  
He joined her at the side of the car and they walked the short distance 
to Melissa's graveside.   Mulder remained silent for several moments 
before setting down the eclectic mix of flowers before her grave.   

Standing there, side by side with their arms around each other, 
Mulder could see her silent tears falling down her face.  Pulling her   
into his embrace he felt her chest heave up and down several times as 
she slowly succumbed to her crying.  Over the course of the next few 
minutes she let out a lifetime's worth of misery.  He held on tightly with 
his chin resting on her forehead, trying to catch his own tears before 
they soaked her hair.  
  
"I had hoped we could get away this afternoon to come here.  
Although, I was a little afraid to after.... what happened back there."

Feeling the betrayal of her brother again, Scully dropped her head back 
down.

Continuing,  "I know you haven't been here in a while."  

Looking back up at him sharply, Scully wondered how on earth he 
could know such a thing.  

"Over the past few years I have borrowed your sister's grave as a 
substitute for my own sister who doesn't have one.   I come out here 
every so often and think about how much we both lost and what we've 
gained ..... and if it was all worth it."  

Seeking his eyes, she was stunned at his words.  "I don't ever think I 
told you how wonderful your sister was to me... when you were 
missing."  
  
Unable to find anything to say, all Scully could do was squeeze him 
tighter as he gently rocked her side to side whispering words of comfort 
in her ear.  
  
After a while she pulled back to stare at the headstone along side of 
Mulder.  "She was the one Mulder..... she was the one who told me 
about you staying with me in the hospital........ all those nights.  She told 
me how much I meant to you.......and I never believed her..........until 
now.....these past few months........and I never believed her."  
  
"Dana.....I didn't believe her either......was it possible she was smarter 
than both of us?"  
  
Lightly chuckling at Mulder's respectful reference to her sister's psychic 
beliefs, "No Mulder, I think it was probable ........definitely probable."  
  
After a few more minutes of quiet and more positive reflection, "Thanks 
... I haven't wanted to come here in a while, not since....."  
  
Looking down to her, he squeezed her hand, "I'll be waiting at the car.  
Whenever you're ready......"  He turned and walked back down the 
slight slope to wait.  
  
Scully knelt down to pick one of the tulips from the bouquet.  Studying 
the marker that bore her sister's name, she couldn't help but remember 
that conversation with her just after she had been found in that hospital 
in Georgetown.    
  
Scully began talking to her sister for the first time in years.  "You told 
me one time that the chances you're given in life are few...... and to 
make the most of what you have.....even you couldn't have seen how we 
arrived here..... I love him so much Melissa and even though you aren't 
here to see it, I'm so thankful for the time you had to know him ........ 
you wouldn't believe it yourself, big sis."  

"It's been awhile since I've come to see you.... I'm so sorry.  You've 
never been far from my thoughts, but after Emily died.... I just didn't 
have the heart to come back."

The wounds of loss that never seemed to heal, drew a tear down her 
face.  "But I know.......... you're taking good care of her, Missy.  Tell 
Dad I said I love him and I love you too."   
 
Scully slowly rose and walked to the car.  Reflecting on the difficult 
day, Scully found Mulder's arms again.  For minutes on end she just held 
him.  Held him as close and as tight as she could, holding on to what 
was most important to her now.
  
  
  

[Saving A Heart]  
  
  


Saturday, December 10  
  
  
A late, fall afternoon descended on the Annapolis, Maryland area, 
supplying a crisp breeze with the hint of leaves in the air.  Christmas, 
along with winter, was fast approaching.  Charlie's wife, Sarah, had 
come over that morning to find Scully and Mulder eating a late 
breakfast.  As often as possible, Dana tried to play the role of 'Aunt' as 
best she could, especially while Charlie was away on duty.  
  
Mulder took the opportunity to refresh his little boy skills by playing 
football with them in the park.  It usually took the form of Mulder being 
dragged to the ground a few hundred times as the boys wrestled with 
the funny guy named `Fox.'  
  
Sarah was an attractive, typical 'soccer mom.'  She taught at an 
elementary school that allowed her time to spend with her sons.  While 
Charlie was away she had to be extra careful about making sure the 
boys would have as normal a life as possible.  Scully knew what they 
would go through and offered her help as much as possible.  
Mulder took it on his own to befriend the two young ones, allowing 
himself to think of a time long ago, when Samantha and himself would 
waste away the summer days on the Vineyard.  It seemed to help him 
too.  
  
Walking hand in hand, Scully and Mulder went about finding their way 
home.   The park wasn't far from her apartment and Mulder was still 
buzzing from this afternoon's activities.
    
His demeanor with her nephews was uncontrollably attractive.  His 
fathering instincts taking center stage almost like he had done it before.   
To some degree it was painful for both of them, dredging up feelings of 
lost children that both of them had suffered in one way or the other.    
  
Sensing her thoughts, Mulder entwined his fingers with hers, "Tough 
day?"  
  
"No....no....it  was a good day.  I've always enjoyed spending time with 
children...especially my nephews."  
  
"Brought back some painful memories didn't it?"    
  
After a few more minutes of silence, Scully responded in a hushed 
voice. "I guess it did.  I usually don't consciously think about Emily 
when I see other children around her age, but .......it's December you 
know..........she would be about their age by now." Mulder quietly 
nodded his understanding as he recalled those few short days in 
December some years ago.  
  
"Mom called me last night.  She says Bill invited us to San Diego for the 
holidays if we want to come.  It think he's trying to apologize for 
Thanksgiving."

Looking up, his facial expression gave her an answer.  One he didn't 
want to voice, but hopefully she could discern from his grimace.

"I just can't go back there either, Mulder..... not now."  
  
After another immeasurable moment of silent conversation.  "Because 
of Bill ........or because of Emily?"  It was almost more of a statement 
than a question.  
 
"I had no idea that pain could linger in someone's heart this strong after 
this long a time."  
  
Smiling sadly, "Time just puts distance between your heart and your 
emotions.  The farther it has to travel, usually the more it stings."  
  
Scully put his words into perspective.  They were especially true as of 
late.  
  
"Scully, it's not too late for you to be a mother.  Maybe you can't have 
your own children, but there are other ways for you to be a mother."  
  
She took a sidelong glance to the man at her side, "Other ways?"  
  
"Well, there's always adoption, surrogates......."  
  
Remembering the harsh criticism of her lifestyle from the social worker 
in San Diego, "I already tried that one time ......as I recall I wasn't a very 
popular choice with my career, being single and......"  
  
Cutting her off, he raised their hands together. "Who says you'll be 
single?"  
  
Letting the words and thoughts of Mulder's last revelation sink in, she 
cautiously pursued his lead.  "Are you talking about what I think you're 
talking about?"  
  
"Maybe.... I don't know  ..would you want to raise a child with 
...........someone like me?  
  
Stopping in her tracks and squeezing his hand to pull him to a stop with 
her on the sidewalk, "You would do that .......  you would give me that 
chance again?"  
  
"You know I would give you anything."  
  
Letting a smile drift to the corners of her mouth, she started walking 
along the sidewalk again.  Mulder remained quiet following her lead.  
As they approached the apartment building, she finished their 
conversation. 

"I might hold you to that, Mulder." 
 
  
*************
  
8:34 PM


"Well, I don't think we're going to make it  to California for the 
holidays, so did you have any plans that we should get underway?  
Christmas is only two weeks away."  
  
"I haven't thought much about it, Scully..... do you think Mom could 
handle a trip down here?  
  
"Don't look at me Mulder, she's your mother. You know her better than 
I do."  
  
Alarmed at his sudden grimace of physical pain, "What?  Mulder?"  
  
"I just made myself feel really old......."  
  
"You are old, Mulder!"  That got her a sofa cushion flung at her head.  

"Watch it, mister!"  
  
"Don't call me old then!!"  
  
Smiling sweetly, "Don't worry, I think your exercise at the park today 
will be screaming at you tomorrow, telling you exactly how old you 
are."  
  
Turning to pin her down on the couch, "Oh yeah, and I believe you owe 
me a back rub because of a certain bet we made not too long ago.  I 
have a feeling I'll be cashing in that I.O.U. tomorrow."  
  


*************  
  
  
Fox Mulder's Apartment  
Christmas Eve  
Friday, December 24,   
  
  
  
As part of their vow to take things slowly, Mulder promised to make 
Christmas eve dinner for Scully.  They would spend the night at Scully's 
but dinner was Mulder's treat and he wanted to spend some time at his 
place for a change.   Keeping separate places had turned out to be the 
best for both of them.  It avoided questions from Scully's devoutly 
Catholic mother and put up a good front for the Bureau.    
  
The pair headed back for Annapolis around 10:00. The drive through 
the nation's capital was quiet.  Not many people were out and those that 
were bundled up on this chilly night.   Yielding to Scully's religious 
beliefs, Mulder took her by the local Catholic church.  

She was a little more than surprised that Mulder would  endure mass 
without her prodding, but she wasn't surprised at his consideration for 
her.  Although, it was not uncommon for him to indulge her wishes, 
especially since they had grown closer since last August.  
  


Arriving home, late, they decided to sleep in before going to pick up his 
mother from the airport around 11:00 AM.  
  
Scully started the fire in the fireplace, while Mulder went to fish out her 
present from wherever he had hidden it in the car.  When he returned 
she mysteriously disappeared to the bedroom to do the same.  Mulder 
had retrieved some wine from the pantry and set the lights low with only 
the crackle of the freshly started flames being heralded.  Scully   
arrived to find him on the couch staring into the fire.  
  
Sitting down on the couch, right next to him, she reached up with her 
hands framing his face and lingerly kissed him whispering, "Merry 
Christmas, Mulder," into his ear.  He pulled a long flat box from the 
cushion beside him and returned the whisper, "This is yours, Scully."  
  
Scully took the delicately wrapped box with a sparkle in her eye and 
unwrapped the present.  She was greeted with a long, slender, blue-
velvet jewelry case.  Looking into his eyes to seek the permission 
that she already had, she opened it.  

Gasping and throwing her hand to her open mouth, "Oh Mulder......it's.. 
it's beautiful."  

Cradled inside the case was a beautiful linked bracelet that sparkled with 
blue emeralds that were just slightly darker than the shade of her eyes.  

"Mulder, this is unbelievable"  
  
Taking it out of its sanctuary of velvet, he gently wrapped it around 
her wrist.  

"I just thought you should have the same luxury of seeing what I see 
everyday."  He found the clasp and secured it to her wrist.  "Merry 
Christmas, Dana.  I hope you like it."  
  
Shaking her head at the absurd notion she wouldn't, Scully took 
him in her arms, "I do..... I love it Mulder, it's exquisite...."

She pulled back with a wandering grin and handed him a rectangular 
box about three feet long and about five inches tall, cheerfully wrapped 
in red and green holiday wrap.    
  
With a questioning look and a playful shake to see if it was ticking he 
ripped the paper from the object that was slightly heavier than he had 
expected.  Inside a cardboard box he found what looked to be an old 
wooden box with a small gold latch.  It resembled a cigar humidor, but 
was much longer and built  more rigidly.  
  
With the same pause of hesitation she had given him, he gently opened 
it to reveal an antique telescope layered in gold, sitting deeply in a bed 
of felt material.  Without a word he picked it up to feel its weight.  It 
was solid and weighty, a reminder of the reality of its presence.  

"Dana?  I don't know what to say....it's beautiful...."  

Feeling the need to further explain, she took it from his hands and gently 
set it back down in the case in order to tell him the story. 
  
Turning to face him, she took both his hands in hers.  "Mulder, this was 
my father's telescope that was given to him, by his father, when he made 
Captain and received his own ship.  He knew that every Captain needed 
to guide his ship safely home, so he gave this to him  so he could always 
find his way back."  
  
The power of her words along with the sentiment was undeniable. 
Unable to say anything coherent, he just stared between her and the 
gift. 

"I... I can't accept this.... it must mean so much......"  He trailed off as 
his own words sank in. 

Looking down to study the delicate instrument,  Scully squeezed his 
hands tighter to regain his attention.  
  
"Yes, Mulder.... it does mean that much to me..... more than you could 
ever know."

Looking down at his gift that he now held, Mulder could see the 
engraved name of her father etched in the gold plate that was fastened 
to the top of the case.  Running his tongue along his lips, Mulder 
attempted to say something, suddenly finding his mouth dry.

"Mulder, the two most important men in my life have been searching in 
one way or the other.  One with his eye on the horizon, looking out over 
the sea and the other watching the skies, saving his heart ........"
  
Mulder put the case down and took Scully in his arms.  "It was yours, 
Scully...it was always yours."  
  
  
*************

Annapolis, Maryland  
Christmas Day
11:02  
  
Mrs. Mulder's plane arrived from Connecticut right on time.   Mulder 
was actually anxious to see her again,  a source of strength through 
some very dark days.  To witness her survive the years with such grace 
never failed to amaze him after seeing and knowing things she had to 
live with.  Burdens no mother had a right to bear.  Retrieving her 
luggage from baggage claim, the three of them arrived in Annapolis an 
hour later.  
  
The relationship between Scully and Mrs. Mulder was always a little 
removed.  Strained, but understanding of the roles they both played in 
Mulder's life,  they had originally met for the first time at a period of 
mourning for her ex-husband while Mulder's fate in New Mexico was 
still unknown. This was meant as a comforting gesture as Scully had 
searched out Mrs. Mulder to let her know she believed her son would 
be all right.    
  
Teena Mulder knew the bond between her son and his former partner 
was strong, but she had never seen them together except for a few 
times.   She had found Dana to be polite, but a little skittish, almost 
wary of her.  Some of the looks she received from Dana, she thought,  
bordered on a ones of mistrust.  

Mulder had informed his mother about his renewed relationship with 
Scully back in October.  His mother gave him a polite response at the 
time, but felt uncomfortable injecting her own thoughts and ideas in 
her son's relationships.  She and her ex-husband had never been proper 
role models for a successful, extended relationship either.  
  
Christmas day came and went as well as could be expected.  Scully and 
Mulder's mother relaxed, putting any misgivings about her aside 
in an effort to possibly understand what must have endured all those 
years..  

Seeing her son so happy, she couldn't deny herself feeling more 
than affectionate towards Dana.  She was an obvious reason for her 
son's happiness and since her stroke Teena had promised herself to do 
anything to fix what had been broken in her life for such a long time.  

With the revelations of her relationship with another man though, 
Mulder had slowly withdrawn from her.  
  
Mulder found the usual NBA basketball games on late in the afternoon 
as the two women got to know each other a little better.  Mulder was 
carefully keeping an ear on the conversation, trying to sense any 
tension and was relieved to find little, if any.  The visit was comfortable, 
but somehow awkward.  It hadn't dawned on Mulder until Christmas 
night that his mother had not mentioned Samantha at all until he noticed 
her looking at a photo of hers that rested on Scully's mantle.    
  
"Fox, I know you can't understand this, but..... sometimes I just can't let 
her go........"  
  
Mulder couldn't think of anything to say, so he was relieved when she 
decided to change the subject.  Forgetting that past would never be 
possible, but day by day he was learning to live with the truth.  
  
The rest of the visit went smoothly.  Although they would never be the 
best of friends, Dana and Teena gained a greater understanding of the 
other and in some ways saw some of themselves in each other.  Two 
very strong women who closely guarded their hearts and had for some 
time lived solitary lives in one way or another.  No more was mentioned 
of Samantha.     
  

  
  
  
  
[A Far Cry]  
  

J. Edgar Hoover Building
Thursday, December 30
10:35 AM

  
  
Unfortunately, serial killers didn't take the holiday off.  Mulder and 
Scully were headed back to work on Thursday in an attempt to get a 
jump on work, before too much piled up over the long holiday weekend 
marking the dawn of a new year.  Luckily the new year would open on a 
weekend, keeping immediate disasters at bay for a little while.  
  
Halfway through re-drafting a case report, his phone rang.  
  
"Mulder."  
  
"It's me.  Do you have the lab reports on toxicology for the Spencer 
killings.  My draft didn't have one."  
  
Looking through his file, he found  two copies of the offending reports.  
Holding it up so she could see it as he spoke into the receiver, 

"Yeah, someone filed yours in my copy.  I'll bring it over in a second."  
  
"Oh, no hurry, I really just wanted to chat for a second..  I was stopped 
by McCraw this morning at the coffee table.  She couldn't wait to show 
me her Christmas present."  
  
"Yeah, it was kind of hard not to see her hand this morning, wasn't it?  
So who's the lucky guy,  Scully?"  
  
"Her old college sweetheart.   You know, I never noticed myself doing 
it until now, but I think women have a subconscious predication to 
checking other women's ring fingers or something.  I wasn't at the table 
for two seconds when I caught the glimmering rock."  
  
"Is that a scientific theory Agent Scully, because you know.....I could 
suggest we investigate your hypothesis a little more over dinner 
tonight."  
  
Dismissing his suggestive remark, "Listen, I have a meeting with West 
in about ten minutes.  I'll see you later."  
  
Sensing her anxiety with a meeting with SAC West, "Anything up?"  
  
"I don't know.  I've been a good girl lately.  I'll let you know, later."  
  
"Okay, later."   Hanging up the phone, he wondered what this meeting 
would bring about.  A meeting alone with a SAC was pretty uncommon, 
but,  he shrugged it off, and forgot about it.  
  
  
*************  
  

Annapolis, Maryland
7:37 PM
  
Mulder arrived at Scully's a bit late due to traffic in Alexandria.  Scully 
had been pretty quiet since his arrival, but he hadn't paid too much 
mind.  Once in a while Scully would retreat into herself, especially after 
a stressful day at work.  His mind instantly reminded him of her meeting 
with West and wondered if this was a side effect of the get-together.  
  
Startling her out of her trance, "Hey, Scully.  What was that meeting 
with West about?"  
  
For a  split second she thought he could read minds.  The meeting was 
all she had been thinking about since that afternoon, "Oh, nothing 
much.  He just offered me a transfer to Albany, New York to head 
up the Bureau's field office there.  I told him no thanks and that was 
pretty much it."  
  
Mulder swung his head around from loading the dishwasher, "He 
what?"  Scully shrugged it off like it was a common everyday event.  
  
For several moments Mulder just stared at Scully who was routinely 
going about the business of clearing the table as if nothing was going 
on.  Mulder put down the plate he was holding and walked over to 
Scully.  
  
Mulder looked at her purposefully.  "Are you sure you gave him the 
right answer?"  
  
Scully paused a moment.  "Well, at the time I thought I did........... I still 
do.."  
  
"Don't read me the wrong way, Scully.  I'm just asking.....would you 
like to take the position?  It has possibilities written all over it."  The 
seriousness on his face was almost disturbing.  
  
"I'm interested in it.  It would definitely have potential for a Director's 
position someday, but......."  
  
"But, what........I think you should take it.,"  Mulder said it with more 
conviction than he thought he could deliver.

Brushing past him on her way out of the kitchen, "I'm not taking it and 
that's it."  
  
Finding her on the couch mindlessly flipping through a book she had 
been reading lately, she looked to him with a look somewhere between 
confusion and disbelief.   

"Don't make me choose, Mulder..... I'm not going to let you martyr 
yourself and what we have for my career..........."  
  
Taking her by the shoulders, he soothed her fear, "Scully?  Who said 
anything about choosing?"   Reaching down to pull her hand to his, he 
continued.  "The choice has already been made... to us."
  
Scully looked away.  "Sometimes Mulder, I just ...........  I feel like I'm 
waiting for the other shoe to drop and .....with you...and.."  
  
Smiling as he saw the Scully he had first met all those years ago, 
"Where you go, I go.  No more ditching."
  
Pulling her close, he could physically feel the relief drain from her light 
body.   "Mulder, you will never know how decent a man you really are 
underneath all that ego."  

They both laughed at the suggestion.  
  
Pulling back, but remaining in his arms, "What would you like to do 
about this New York thing?"  
  
"It's your call, partner........... why don't you tell West you would 
reconsider."   
  
"He did tell me to think about it, but...."  

Feeling like she had missed something earlier, Warily spying him with 
her classic look of confusion, "Mulder, what exactly did you mean by 
'the choice has already been made?'"  
  
Moving away for a moment to collect his thoughts, he returned to face 
her.  "Scully, you and I both know that you're on the fast-track.  I 
thought about it a few months back.....that if you were ever offered a 
promotion that would take you away from D.C..."     
  
She approached him with a scrutinizing look about her, "Yessss......go 
on, Mulder...."  
  
"...that I could find another avenue of employment."   The surprise 
registered on her face was slightly more than he had expected.  With her 
mouth still open, he jumped into quell her thoughts.    

"Look Scully, you and I both know that I haven't been the model agent 
for the FBI for some time now.  Promotions have never been offered in 
my direction, and with the big black X sitting in my file for the years 
down in the basement......don't hold your breath on any offers coming 
my way from the Bureau brass."  
  
"But I was there with you...."    
  
Correcting her before she misinterpreted his meaning, "Yes you were 
Scully, but remember.  You were technically assigned to me.  The fact 
that you turned the laughing stock of the Bureau into a viable and 
respected division only seals the fact you have greater things in store 
for you in the FBI."  
  
Shaking his head, "But you've been one of the best agents in Bureau 
history when it comes to solve ratio...."  
  
"You and I also know that this is not a contest for who is or was the 
best at their jobs.  You will deservedly get the credit for the work in the 
X-files....someone has to..."
   
She smiled faintly at the compliment and started contemplating his 
words.  
  
Continuing,  "I've never been good at playing well with others."  
  
Understanding his meaning, she considered his points.  "So you would 
consider moving to New York,... IF.... I decided I wanted to take the 
position."  
  
Offering his biggest tooth-laden smile, "I thought you'd never ask."    
  
Scully held up her hand to stop him from assuming her answer. 

"Not so fast Mulder.  I did say I was interested, but that doesn't mean 
I'm taking the job quite yet.  There are a few other things I would need 
to investigate before going.  I'll tell West tomorrow that I'll give him a 
final answer next week.  Until then, let's just forget about it, okay?"  
  
"Whatever you want, it's your decision.  I'll be with you no matter 
what you decide."  
  
Forgetting about it turned into the last thing Scully could possibly do.  
It kept her up most of the night in quiet contemplation over the 
possibilities of a move to New York state.  

Mulder and her could literally start a new life.  

They could shovel snow.  

She would be a SAC in charge of her own division.  

Mulder would have to find a new job.  

The salary increase could go a long way in offering a secure future.  

She would have to move away from her mother.  

Mulder would be closer to his mom, whose health was steadily declining 
as well.  

The pros and cons ping-ponged in her head for the rest of the night as 
she floated in and out of sleep.    
  
In the early morning hours, with that vision of clarity that one sees only 
in the fringes of a near sleep state, a far cry of something sinister came 
to the surface of her dazed mind.  

A far and eerie cry from their past as partners joined her introspection. 
Her suspicions grew larger and larger.  Although the end-result could be 
clearly seen, she couldn't possibly see a motive.  Mulder had definitely 
worn off on her over the years.  

Thinking to herself, 'Jesus, Dana.  Not only are you paranoid, you're 
starting to formulate theories without evidence or motive, like Mulder 
used to.'     
  
She got up early to take a shower and eat breakfast while she 
deliberated over her pre-dawn, cognitive revelation.  If her thoughts 
about the possible reasons for her sudden transfer and promotion were 
true, she would have to formulate a plan to extract some evidence of the 
truth before she could give her answer.  

At around 7:00, she slipped back into bed to rouse Mulder from his 
sleep.  
  
"Wake up sleepy-head.......stop drooling on the sheets."   
  
Mulder rolled over to face her with his eyes still shut, "I would, but 
there's this incredible red-head who keeps intruding in on my dreams."  
  
Laughing at his ability to make an innuendo even in his sleep, "Mulder, 
will there ever be a day when you stop coming on to me?"  
  
Opening his eyes with a start, "Nope!"  
  
"Good, I think I would have to start worrying if you do.........now get 
up....we're going to be late."  
  
  
The ride to work was routine.  Traffic backed up on the beltway to the 
hilt, but another good thing had come out of her and Mulder sharing her 
apartment from time to time.  Now they were able to take the carpool 
lanes.  Scully was busy organizing her thoughts about how to handle 
West this morning.  She wanted to be subtle, yet she needed to gauge 
his reactions in order to confirm or deny her suspicions.  Blowing 
her cover and revealing her true purpose for reconsidering would 
definitely sabotage any chances for future promotions.  

The unscheduled meeting with West was arranged for 2:55 PM when he 
was between appointments.  Special Agent in Charge David West was 
your typical Bureau watchdog.  He played by the rules, remained loyal 
to his superiors and was generally a pawn in the grand game of politics 
played by the Bureau hierarchy.  Her suspicions about the reasons    
for offer of  a 'promotion' would most certainly be known to West if he 
were to successfully carry out whoever's orders he had been given.  
  
  
*************  
  
SAC David West's office  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
Friday, December 31,   
3:03 PM  
  
Scully entered his office after his receptionist waved for her to go on in.  
It hit her right then, that if she were to become a SAC, she would most 
likely have a receptionist also.  

`Hmm.. maybe I could get a really cute male one to torture Mulder 
with.'  Pushing those thoughts aside as she returned to the task at hand, 
she put her hand out to greet West who, like a true gentleman, stood as 
she entered.  
  
"Thank you, sir, for seeing me on short notice.  I won't take much of 
your time, I just needed to let you know I would be reconsidering the 
offer you made yesterday if it's still available?"  
  
Perking up, "Why yes, Agent Scully, it is still 'on-the-table.'"  
  
Sitting in the chair provided before her, she sat down with her legs 
crossed, her hands clasped on her lap with the left hand on top.  
  
"I feel that I should let you know that my transfer, if I were to take it, 
would be on the condition that Agent Mulder could also transfer along 
with me."    

The reaction on his face she feared from West was the reaction she 
got........and deep down expected.  
  
"Pardon me Agent Scully, but what would Agent Mulder have to do 
with your promotion.  He isn't your partner anymore, so there could be 
no reason for you two to remain together in the ..........."    West bit off 
the last portion with haste, fearing he had revealed too much.    
  
With the knowledge gained from his last statement, Scully went about 
putting a good spin on the situation in an effort to cover her tracks.  
"Well actually sir, as you may well know from the O.P.C. hearing,  
Agent Mulder and myself reside together.  If I were to become a SAC, 
technically I could request his transfer.  Mulder and I would like to   
remain together, maybe not as co-workers, but at the very least still in 
the same area."  
  
This last piece of information clouded whatever suspicions he had that 
she knew what the true nature of her promotion was for.  It also 
shocked him. His face had turned a little pale at this revelation which 
made Scully concerned as to why it was so important that she and 
Mulder be separated again.  Even though they had not moved in 
together, she used this little white lie and the rumors circulating to her 
own advantage.  It was now crystal-clear to her that separating them, at 
least within the workplace and maybe personally, was the objective.  
  
Thanking him for his time and informing West that he would have her 
final decision by next Wednesday, she exited the office and made it to 
the bathroom in time to punch a stall door, before she screamed.  

Locked in a bathroom stall at the far end, Scully rested her forehead 
against the cool enameled surface of the door.  After all this time, she 
couldn't understand why they couldn't just leave them alone to work 
and go on with their lives.  With the X-files shut down and access to 
that world limited, Mulder and her had essentially put that part of their 
lives behind them.  

Not forgotten, but behind them while they were still relatively ahead.

Still alive.    
  
  
  
*************  
  


At precisely 5:00 PM, Scully headed for Mulder's desk.  Detecting her 
uneasiness, he cut his phone conversation short as he saw her face 
flushed with anger.  

Mulder threw his arms up as if he had a gun pointed at him, "I'm 
sorry....I didn't do it....I'll remember next time...."  
  
Shaking her head in disgust as he tried to apologize for an act he had no 
participation or knowledge about, she pulled him up by the collar of his 
shirt. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here."  
  
Mulder grabbed his jacket and hurried after her to the elevator lobby.  
Passing the parking garage level, he realized she had punched the 
button for the main lobby which would lead them out to the street.  
  
Not saying a word, he followed her down the street to a tavern that they 
had frequented a few times early in their partnership.  It was more of  a 
'yuppie," upscale establishment than a bar.  In downtown D.C., these 
hangouts were a dime a dozen catering to the legions of federal 
employees.  He got a booth in the back corner while she summoned a   
waitress from the bar.  She ordered a Scotch and soda, while Mulder 
took an obligatory beer.    
  
He attempted to pierce her thoughts. "The hard stuff?   What's 
wrong Scully?"  
  
She waited for the waitress to return, downed her drink and proceeded 
to tell Mulder the whole sordid story.  Her suspicions, her impromptu 
slight of hand and her clever cover up.  While she laid it all out, he 
nursed his beer and took the news calmer than she expected.  
  
After a moment of contemplative silence, Scully looked directly into his 
eyes.  "You knew it, didn't you?  You suspected it the whole time!"    
  
"Well.....to be honest.....I did have my suspicions.  It just seemed a little 
too strange, you know...... especially after the hearing with the O.P.C. 
last October."  
  
Scully sighed in frustration as he continued.  "Don't get me wrong, 
Scully.  You will make a great SAC, but you have to admit, there are at 
least five other ASACs in our division alone that have more time in the 
VCS, than we had in the X-files, put together."   
  
Seeing his logic, she let out another sigh.  This time it was a breath full 
of 'I know, I know, you're right.'  
  
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Scully.  I didn't want to put a damper on 
the situation and knowing how good you are, a part of me thought this 
was legitimate."  
  
Taking another swallow, "But the part of you that kept us alive all those 
years, told you differently, didn't it?"  
  
Smirking, "Who says paranoia's all bad.  It's saved our ass's on more 
than one occasion."  
  
Pausing a moment to let her feelings fall into place, he went on. "Even if 
they won't let me transfer with you.  You can still take the job.  Like I 
said before, my future in the FBI is limited, I could find something else, 
you could become SAC....."  
  
"Mulder, after what I witnessed today, I'm not sure if becoming one of 
them and having to play their games, interests me anymore."   

Lifting up her glass to finish her second drink, "Besides, I don't think it 
would be a move up.....more like a move over.......and if nothing else.... 
the fact alone that I'm not going to let them dictate our lives to us 
anymore is what will make my decision to stay where I'm at final."  
  
Smiling, Mulder finished his beer.  The Scully he had know for all those 
years was sitting proudly and defiantly in front of him.  Her fighting 
spirit had given him strength on more that one occasion and would 
surely see them through whatever tough times lay ahead.  
  
"Mulder....?  What are you grinning at?"    
  
"I don't know.... maybe I can't figure out what to be more proud of. The 
fact that you figured out their game all by yourself or the fact that after 
all these years, you're still that fiery, loyal partner who hasn't been 
changed by all the crap they've dished out to us."  
  
Scully took his hand from across the table, "I wouldn't have been able 
to see it without you Mulder and that's why I think they want us apart.  
They know better than we do that we're stronger together than 
separated."  
  
"Well, news of your offer for promotion and transfer won't take too 
long before it gets around the entire FBI.  I'm kind of surprised more 
people didn't know it before today.  Didn't McCraw hear about it 
yesterday?"  
  
"Mulder, despite what you think, not all women gossip.  In fact, I 
believe, a woman working in the male-dominated environment that we 
do today, is probably more sensitive to such notions than men."  
  
"Another interesting theory there, Scully.  Probably true."  Changing 
the subject slightly, "I didn't want to say anything, but I'm glad were not 
moving to Albany."  
  
Scully curiously looked to Mulder.  "Oh?  And why not?"  
  
"Believe me, having lived up north when I was younger, shoveling 
snow is no picnic.  Next time, see if you can swing a promotion further 
south."  Mulder wore a lop-sided grin that told Scully he would follow 
her anywhere.  
  
"You ready?  We've got a New Year to ring in, Scully."  

He laid out some money for the drinks and pulled Scully to her feet.  
"Oh do we?  What's on tap for tonight?"  
  
"Well, I thought we would continue a Mulder family tradition."  
  
"I thought your family didn't have any traditions, Mulder."

Whispering in her ear, "We've got a few."

"And what would that be, oh sir?"  The excitement in her eyes lit up his 
heart.  
  
"Well it's only a tradition I started about ten years ago.  The guys and I 
usually get together to chat about the latest conspiracy theories that 
will be unveiled during the new year.  They offer'em up and I try to 
shoot'em down.  Trust me, it's right up your alley.  I hope you're not 
disappointed .  We could cancel, I'm sure they'd understand."  
  
"Mulder, I think it's a great idea.  You never heard me say this and I'll 
deny it if you tell anyone, but I've always kind of liked them.......even 
Frohike."  
  
"Oh my....Agent Scully.  You are in for a treat, just keep him at a 
distance so I don't have to hurt him.  You know how he gets with a little 
liquor in him."  
  
The two walked out of the bar on this the last day of the year with 
hopes and dreams for the coming days.  Celebrating a New Year with 
friends, they found that the year that lay ahead would bring many 
exciting days and nights as well as turmoil.  
  
  
  
  
[When is Forever]  
  
  
Monday, January 3  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
Violent Crimes Section  
10:00  
  
Stopping at her desk to leave her a note, Mulder noticed the yellow pad 
that held the details for her day's itinerary.   Noticing the meeting with 
West was now in progress, he sent her a mental note of 'good luck,' 
while she maneuvered out of the promotion..  The rumors would be 
pretty interesting to hear about this one, he admitted.  
  
Speaking of the devil himself, Tom Colton came bustling around the 
corner.  After standing back up to reach his full height, they locked eyes 
in recognition of each other's presence.  Colton averted his stare first as 
he whispered something to his partner, who promptly started to chuckle 
at the sight of  'Spooky' Mulder.  
  
Ignoring the two, he returned to sign his note, inviting Scully to lunch if 
she made it back in time.  The word about her possible promotion had 
gotten around the office even quicker than the news of Agent 
McCraw's engagement.    
   
Before he could finish, the object of his desire was standing by his 
side.  Keeping her professional mask on, "Hello Agent Mulder.  Is there 
something I can help you with."  
  
Keeping up this charade was totally unnecessary, but it was done more 
out of habit and a certain appeal of charm than anything else. "Why yes 
Agent Scully, I was wondering if you would be free for lunch today?"  
  
Frowning, "Sorry, Mulder.  I've got a lot of work to do.  Remember I'll 
be taking the car this afternoon.  I've got that appointment with my 
doctor today."  
  
"Ohhh....that's right, I was gonna catch a ride with Jeff.  Your routine 
six month check-up?"  
  
"Yeah, the doctor says, if all things remain the same, he'll start to 
schedule the visits yearly."  
  
Smiling at the thought of her returning to a more normal existence after 
the cancer, "Do you want me to bring you anything back from the 
cafeteria?"  
  
"Yeah, could you bring me back a chicken salad sandwich and a tea?"  
  
"Sure, anything else I can do?  
  
"No, I'll be fine.  I'll see you at home tonight."  
  
Winking he let out a dutiful sigh, "Back in a few minutes."  
  
  
*************  

6:32  PM

  
The doctor's visit was routine.  This one, however, had an MRI along 
with a PET scan scheduled with it that was done at least twice a year 
since her remission.  The placement of the cancer, along the inside wall 
of her nasal cavity, made it tough to determine if the tumor had returned 
or ever would.  A PET was the only way to quickly determine, without 
extensive bloodwork, if the tumor had returned.  

The results were negative, with the only evidence of her cancer being a 
nasty line of scar tissue along her sinus region.  The only physical side 
effect of her illness was a slightly deepened voice.  For such a small 
person she had always had a low pitched voice for a woman, but the 
cancer had deepened it only slightly more.  More distinct and 
recognizable, Mulder would know it anywhere.  
  
Arriving home later than expected, she found dinner waiting on the 
stove while Mulder was napping on the couch still in his suit pants and 
shirt.  Waking him would be too selfish, she thought.  After years of not 
sleeping well, she let him rest whenever she saw him stealing a few 
minutes here or there.  

She returned to the bedroom to change and made her way to the kitchen 
to set the table for dinner.  The rice and vegetables were still warm on 
the stove while the baked chicken had a few more minutes to finish 
according to the kitchen timer.  She would never stop being amazed at 
how Mulder could deftly handle himself in the kitchen..  
  
Hearing a utensil drop to the floor, Mulder awoke to hear Scully in 
the kitchen.  "Oops, sorry Mulder, didn't mean to wake you quite yet."  
  
"It's ok, I didn't mean to doze off anyway."  He roused himself up and 
headed to the bedroom and also changed.  

Upon returning to find dinner on the set table, he walked up behind 
Scully who was just about to bring their glasses to the table.  

Enfolding her in his arms, he buried his face in the crook of her neck 
between her shoulder.  He lifted his head up to rest it there and pulled 
her into his arms deeper.  The height difference between these two, 
especially at home without any shoes on, always made a somewhat   
interesting sight as Mulder would bend down to seek her eye level.  
  
Mulder had always been a tactile person.  Even during their partnership, 
he always found ways to emphasize his points with a touch here or 
there.  They were never overt touches that she felt were unnecessary, 
Mulder was just one of those people in life that were classified as the 
'touchy-feely' type.  Playing pseudo-psychologist early in her days with   
the X-files, with the little knowledge she had about his family life and 
Samantha, she figured he was that way because of a lack of affection 
that seemed to plague his history.    
  
Even back then she felt a strange sense of duty to encourage that bond.  
Never more than a hug, but they were intimate touches in the way two 
close friends and partners could touch each other.  A hand laid over the 
other's, a ruffle of his hair, or a guiding hand as they entered a room or 
house.     
  
After their relationship had developed, Mulder was more insistent about 
expressing his feelings through touch, while Scully relished this new 
facet that came along with their connection.  It was funny, Scully 
thought, that she was the one that grew up in a close family, so 
touching was something she had taken for granted.  With Mulder, 
however,  the lack of a stable home life produced someone who needed 
the tactile feel of another human to ground him.  
  
These stolen moments were cherished as they served to remind the 
other of their commitment to one another.  Turning in his arms to grace 
him with a brilliant smile, Scully pulled him tighter to her own chest as 
she sighed.  The relief of just being in his arms was sometimes enough 
to make her other bodily needs, dissipate.  
  
Slowly swaying back and forth to their own music, Mulder looked 
down.  "How did the doctor's visit go?"  
  
Without hesitation, "It went really well.  The scans were clean.  No 
tumor. No sign of one.  Only a soft-tissue scar to ever reveal it was even 
there."  
  
Tightening his grip on her, "That's the best news I've heard in a long 
time, Scully."    
  
"Yes it is."


**************

  
Enjoying the meal and each other's company, Mulder ran through his 
day with her, explaining his latest case, which she might be called in on 
if things got stickier.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot.  How did the meeting with West go?  Did he 
understand or......"  
  
Beating him to the punch, "You mean did he flip his wig over an ASAC 
declining a promotion?   No........it was rather odd.  I went in, sat down, 
told him of my decision, he nodded, I said 'thank you for the offer', then 
he dismissed me.  It was a very..... routine meeting.  Unlike Friday I 
couldn't register whether or not he was pleased or dismayed....very 
odd."  
  
Mulder pondered this for a moment, "Hmmm........who knows....I gave 
up a long time ago trying to read my superiors reactions.  Skinner 
ruined me of that."  
  
Continuing to eat in silence, Scully was somewhat reluctant to explore a 
topic that had been on her mind for the past few days.  
  
 "Mulder, I didn't want to say much at the time, but you got me to 
thinking.  What would you do if you ever left the Bureau?"  
  
Considering on how to answer, "Well.....um..... with my experience and 
reputation in the field.  I could do some lecturing.....maybe write some 
books on our experiences dealing with the paranormal.   I haven't given 
it a tremendous amount of thought, but I'm sure I could land on my 
feet........why?"  
  
"Oh, I was just wondering.  You sounded like you had really given the 
idea of leaving some serious thought when you were talking about it the 
other night."  
  
"It's not like that's the first time, Scully.  There have been several 
instances where my patience with the political bullshit has worn 
thin.......you know that."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  Scully looked off at a distant point behind him, caught 
in her thoughts.  
  
"What would you think about me leaving?  Would you be upset?"  
Mulder was intrigued by her forthcoming response.  
  
"No, maybe leaving the Bureau someday would be a good change for 
you.  You wouldn't mind me leaving with you, would you?"  
  
Interesting development, Mulder thought.  "Umm... something you want 
to tell me, Scully?"  
  
"No, not really.  It's just after days like today and meetings like the one I 
had with West, I'm wondering what it would be like to.........I don't 
know..... go into private practice.....take a teaching position at a medical 
school....you know...just wondering 'what if.'"  
  
"To answer your question, no. It wouldn't bother me for you to leave 
the FBI.  Whatever you want to do with your career, you know I'll 
support you ."  
  
"That's all I wanted to know.  Sometimes, I feel like I'm not making a 
difference anymore."  
  
"Scully,  you make a difference everyday."  Mulder picked up their 
plates and left her to ponder his meaning.  Whether he meant it 
professionally or personally, she decided it made her feel kind of good 
either way.   
  
  
************  
  
  
The week passed slowly as the daily grind returned to normal after the 
holidays and the agents of the VCS were becoming increasingly busy.  
What was it about Christmas time that brought about violent killings.  
All week tensions in the office were high.  An undercurrent of tautness 
seemed to flow in the building. An ominous air of something distressing 
making its way into the psyche of their fellow agents.  Mulder and 
Scully were not oblivious to the atmosphere, but refused to lend it any 
credence.  After all, they were used to the pressures.  
  
  
Annapolis, Maryland
Tuesday, January 11
7:13 AM  
  
As this day dawned, the oncoming train of misfortune had gently 
shifted tracks. It would not directly cross their paths this time, but the 
train, nevertheless, made its impact.  
  
As Mulder and Scully were about to leave for work, the phone rang.   
AD Skinner was on the other end.   Hearing from the AD was not 
uncommon, but the fact they hadn't reported to him in almost two years, 
coupled with the time of day, it yielded a certain atmosphere of disaster.  
  
"Mulder."  
  
"Agent Mulder, this is Skinner. I hate to disturb you guys this early, but 
I have some news for you that can't wait.  You might want to put Agent 
Scully on the other phone if you can.  I don't have much time.  
  
Signaling to a curious Scully to go pick up the phone in the bedroom, 
"It's Skinner, he has some news, go pick up the other line."  
  
Scully dashed to the bedroom, "Good morning, sir.  What's wrong?"    
  
"I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, Agent Scully, but Agent 
Jenny McCraw was found in her apartment late last night.................  
she was brutally raped and murdered."  
  
Mulder heard Scully's gasp in stereo.  From the bedroom and in his ear 
as his own stomach dropped to floor in  twisting anguish for a fellow 
agent who he and Scully worked.  For someone he had begun to 
consider a friend.  
  
Skinner continued, "I just got back from the crime scene.  This was 
being handled by the D.C.P.D., but after it was revealed she was an FBI 
agent, we are naturally going to join them.  I cleared it with West 
already.  You two are going to head up the case.  I want the best we 
have to nail the son-of-a-bitch who did this."  Not one to show great 
emotion, Mulder was sure he heard Skinner's voice crack on his last few 
words.    
  
Feeling that Scully would be unable to reply, Mulder jumped in.  "Thank 
you for letting us know, sir.  Has her family been notified?"  
  
"Not as of yet.  I'm in my car on the way to her folks house in 
Woodbridge, Virginia.  They will know by 10:30 at the latest."  
  
Regrouping herself from the initial shock, "Sir, we'll head over to the 
crime scene first thing.  Call us if you find out any details you think 
might help us."  
  
"Will do, Agent Scully.  I'm sorry, I know you two worked with her."  
  
With that, Skinner hung up.  Mulder knew what he would find when he 
reached the bedroom.  After last August when Mulder and Scully had 
rescued their friendship and especially since they had become intimate, 
Scully no longer kept her emotions in check as much with Mulder 
around.  It was yet another sign of the ultimate trust and belief she had   
in Mulder.  She knew he would not judge her.  She knew that all he 
wanted was to understand and make her feel loved.  That she was not 
alone, and didn't have to be.    
  
The strength of the woman he loved so much never ceased to amaze 
him, but only when she let her emotions flow towards him did he see 
how brave she really was capable of being.  What she had perceived for 
years as being a sign of weakness, to him was yet another aspect of 
how strong she truly was.  
  
It was because of this that he was not surprised to see her sitting on the 
side of the bed weeping in silence.   Death had traveled in her inner 
circle for years.  It was the side effect of being with the dead so much of 
her professional life, but death close to her was somehow made more 
sobering and real.  
  
Coming to sit by her on the bed, he waited for her to make the first 
move as always.  This kept her control firmly within her grasp until she 
was ready to let the bough break.  
  
As she began to shudder, she leaned into her strength.  Mulder 
wrapped his arm around her as his eyes moistened not only because of 
a fallen agent, but because of his breaking heart.  As intimate as one 
could be with another person in life, it would never quite match the 
experience of selflessly allowing herself to cry into someone else's 
shoulder.  To physically purge the body of grief with the one person that 
she loved more than anything was a comfort that few would understand.  
  
After a few minutes, Scully looked up with a half-smile.  A look that 
held so many emotions.  
  
Sniffling, "I think we better get going, before they reassign it.  I want 
this guy Mulder. I want him bad."  
  
Kissing her left temple, "Let's go." 

*************

Agent McCraw's Apartment
9:54 AM 
  
Examining the crime scene was horrific.  Even for a victim you knew, 
this one was especially gruesome.  The fact that the killer used, from the 
looks of it, a dull knife made for queasy stomachs.  Steeling herself 
against the sight, she began to take notes, examine primary wounds and 
protect the corpse from contamination.  Mulder started going around 
with other agents and D.C.P.D. to interview neighbors and potential 
witnesses.  
  
Unfortunately, as with most murder cases, the suspects start with those 
most familiar with the victim.  The first one to be questioned and cleared 
was her fiance, Thomas Moore.  Mr. Moore was an architect who was 
currently in Phoenix on a business trip.  The fact that Agent McCraw 
was recently engaged wasn't lost on Mulder or Scully, either.  It just 
made the sting pierce a little more in their hearts.  Her only other family, 
her parents, were in Woodbridge, Virginia the previous night at a 
church function.  
  
Funny how silver clouds can be found in the most dismal of situations.  
It was no small relief to Scully that neither her family or fiance were 
involved.  The fierce savagery of this particular crime would have been 
difficult to comprehend if had been some one that close.  
  
Against Mulder's and other's wishes, Scully demanded to do the 
autopsy.  If Skinner wanted them on the case, she wouldn't trust 
anyone else to do it right.  

Although not an official break in Bureau policy, Scully reached deep 
within herself and  performed the autopsy with extreme diligence.  
Being incredibly thorough with this post mortem was in effect her way 
exacting some measure of motivation in finding the killer.  Her effort did 
not go un-rewarded.  
  
Pulling semen, fibers, hair, and finger prints off the body would go a 
long way to convict the perpetrator when they found him.  Arriving 
home late that night, she found Mulder studying transcripts of the 
interviews from his day's work.  
  
Standing up to greet her with a kiss, "How'd it go?"  
  
Honestly replying, "Pretty good actually...... we got a lot of physical 
evidence off the body.  Whoever we catch will have a hard time 
disproving it was him.  We'll nail the son of a bitch."  
  
Perking up at her good news, "That's good.  I've got some decent 
news of my own.  We lifted some prints off the back seat of her car.  It 
looks like she either had a friend with her or some guy hid out in her car 
waiting for her.  Either way it looks like she knew the killer or the killer 
knew her."  
  
Perplexed, "Why do you say that Mulder?"  
  
"Well, there were no signs of forced entry to her car or her home.  We 
also have someone else's prints from her car keys, but they look 
smudged.   Also, if someone were hiding out in her car, they would 
know her car, thus knowing her.   I know it's a leap..... but I've just got 
a feeling.   When will you get the toxicology back?"  
  
"Tomorrow, why?"  
  
"We found an opened bottle of vodka near the body.  Even though it 
was clean, it had residue floating in the bottom.  We think the killer 
might have slipped her something to relax her defenses.  If so, that 
would definitely point to an acquaintance."  
  
"Did you find any glasses as evidence of her drinking with the 
suspect?"  
  
"No, but he could have taken them.  I assume we'll find alcohol laced 
with a sedative of some type when we get the report on her 
bloodwork."  
  
"Mulder, I can believe that this person knows her, but something tells 
me she's not the one to be socializing late at night, during the week, 
while her fiance is away on business.  It just doesn't add up.  You 
know?"  
  
"I'll put that in my profile.  You did know her pretty well, Scully.  
Would you say she was the type to drink by herself?"  
  
Sighing in slight frustration. Almost whining, "To be honest, I have no 
idea Mulder.  I went out with her after work one night while you were 
gone to Quantico for a lecture.........she did drink vodka that night as I 
recall......straight I believe......why?"  
  
"I'm just wondering if her drinking by herself would explain the lack of 
glass a tumbler...something."  
  
"Not very lady-like, but..." Unsure of what to say, "I guess that's a 
possibility."  
  
"Well, I'll have the Sci-Crime Lab check the bottle for lipstick.  Maybe 
she was alone."  
  
Scully went to the bedroom to rid herself of her work clothes.  Coming 
back out she went to the couch and stared blankly at the television as 
Mulder continued to pour over the interview results.  
  
"Hey, Scully.  We also had one neighbor report that he heard a 
disturbance at around midnight and saw some guy running from the 
building......"  Noticing that Scully was a million miles away, he shut up.  
He closed the folder and turned out the desk lamp on the credenza.    
  
Sitting down beside her, he flipped off the television she wasn't paying 
any attention to and sat with her in silence.    After a while, Scully began 
to ramble on aimlessly about minuscule details she had found in the 
autopsy.  Shoving herself into 'scientist' mode was another way she 
dealt with the harsh cruelties she seemingly witnessed everyday.  
  
"Mulder, you said it yourself one time.  We were almost twins.  Except 
for her being a little taller, her hair being longer and a deeper color we 
could have passed ourselves off for sisters."     
  
Scully's innocent reference to her own sister caught her more off guard 
than it did Mulder. Realizing that both Jenny and Melissa had been 
killed in cold blood did nothing for her earlier feelings of comfort.  
  
Continuing on, "she even drove the same car as me....."      
  
Mulder who was being as supportive and comforting as possible 
instantly jumped into alert mode.  His mind was always working.  It was 
a curse and sometimes a blessing.  This time he couldn't figure out 
which.  
  
"Scully, you mean she drove a silver Taurus as well?"   Scully, caught 
up in her own grief, failed to notice Mulder's investigative mode switch 
back on.  
  
"Yeah, she even liked to park it next to mine on occasion, saying she felt 
better if her car didn't feel so lonely..........silly huh?"  Scully's words 
were now interspersed with tears dripping off her cheeks.    
  
Mulder leaned into her and shut down his mind for the night.  Scully 
was hurting and needed him to be there for her just like all those times 
he had needed her.  
  

*************  

Wenesday, January 12


The next day wasn't any better.  The Bureau flew its flag at half staff 
in honor of the fallen agent.  The mood in the VCS was somber but 
deliberate.  Everyone knew Mulder and Scully were working the case 
and they had received words of encouragement all day in finding the 
bastard who did this.  
  
After finishing his profile, with the help of ASAC Hastings, Mulder 
concluded that the killer must have known Agent McCraw.  Whether 
McCraw knew him  could not be determined at this time.  The body was 
delivered to the mortuary in as good a condition as Scully could 
provide, but thanks to the killer, the chances of having an open casket   
had been unfeasible from the beginning.    
  
The toxicology did prove Mulder's theory right about one thing.  She 
had been drinking and there were traces of Rohypnol, the 'date-rape' 
drug in her system.  
  
The questions still remaining were rather obvious.  Who, why, and 
how?  One thing that still puzzled Mulder was the prints that matched 
the ones off her body found in the car. These questions would have to 
wait until more leads developed.  
  
  
*************  
  
Woodbridge, Virginia
 January 15 
10:49 AM  


The funeral for Special Agent Jenny McCraw was on Friday morning, 
three days after her death.  Going to a funeral was always an uneasy 
task no matter how close or far away the departed were from you.  
Mulder stuffed his trenchcoat pocket with Kleenex from the bathroom, 
just in case Scully needed some.  Unfortunately, he would probably use 
a few himself.   Funerals always seemed to bring his own closely 
checked emotions to the surface as well.  
  
It was a beautiful day.  Not a cloud in the sky.  Woodbridge, her 
hometown, was a bustling little tourist trap just off of I-95, about forty-
five minutes south of Washington.  A memorial service had been held 
the night before.  Unable to bring herself to attend, Scully insisted that 
they be present at the graveside service.  
  
Her bronze casket shined brightly under the intense winter sun.  About 
thirty to forty of her closest friends and co-workers drew around the 
grave.   The minister read from Psalm 23 as her parents sobbed openly 
into the grave of their only child.  Her fiance read aloud from a prepared 
statement and offered the prayer at the end of the service.  It was only   
then that Mulder and Scully saw him almost collapse from the 
inconsolable depths of emotions, bringing everyone in attendance, 
including AD Skinner, near tears.  
  
After a few moments people started to make their way to their cars.  
Having met Thomas Moore once in the Bureau lobby while she was 
working with Jenny one day, Scully felt bereft at not offering a 
comforting word or two.   

As she approached, Thomas saw her proximity and tried to pull himself 
together.  Seeing his anguish and feeling her own,  Scully pulled him 
into fierce embrace that expended a few more tears.  After a few words 
of comfort whispered into his ear, she let him depart to find his way 
back to Jenny's parents who were waiting for him by their car.  
  
Mulder slowly made his way to Scully's side as she stood in front of the 
headstone reading the inscription:  
  
                                Jenny Monroe McCraw
                     Beloved Daughter, Friend and Fiance
                                     When is Forever

At the bottom of the headstone, Scully recognized the final three words 
as the same final words at the end of Thomas Moore's prayer.  Turning 
to Mulder, she looked slightly confused. "Mulder, I've never seen or 
heard that.......what does it mean?"  
  
As he looked down into Scully's face, a lone tear streaked down his 
cheek telling her that he did indeed know what it stood for.  Pushing a 
lock of hair out of her eyes, he began to tell her the heart-wrenching 
truth.  
  
"Scully.  When I was in school in England ........I saw it on a few 
headstones.........it-it's not a question like most people think..........it's an 
old Scottish saying for `I love you.'"  
"It was meant to declare that 'when'......." 
 
He closed his eyes to continue, "the first time WHEN.. someone told 
you that they loved you, it meant that they would love you forever...."      
  
The tears were now streaking down their faces at the significance of 
those words, Mulder pulled Scully into his arms as they both found 
comfort in the other.  

In a whispered voice, "When is forever,  Scully."  
  
  
  

[Torturous Truths]  
  
  
  
Monday, January 17  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
Violent Crimes Section  
3:30 PM  
  
  
A tough weekend behind them, Mulder and Scully set out on this the 
dawn of  new week with renewed determination of finding the one 
responsible for Agent McCraw's death.   The evidence in hand was 
damning to whoever it belonged to, but therein lay the fundamental 
problem.  
  
Other than a blurry image, from behind, described to a composite artist 
of the suspect who was seen running from the apartment of Agent 
McCraw, that was literally all they had to go on.  The prints lifted didn't 
match anyone in the NCIC database.  The video cameras from the 
Bureau parking garage showed McCraw leaving the Hoover building at   
around 9:30 PM.   The tapes could not provide any information on 
whether or not someone was waiting for her in her car.  
  
She had been working on a side project that was of interest to her.  The 
cataloging of all know pediphiles in the state of Maryland that had 
served less than half of their sentences.  Knowledge of her project 
outside the Bureau was privy to only a few other colleagues who had 
been asked to help her.   It seemed like the only lead and the least likely 
all at once.
  
"What do you think, Mulder?"    
  
"Honestly, I don't have a clue. There isn't a defined MO to compare to 
any other murders committed in the area.  I admit my profile is a little 
thin."  
  
"Well, a serial killer usually isn't as sloppy with the evidence, now is 
he?"  
  
Mulder mused over her rhetorical question, rubbed his hand over the 
bottom of his chin.  What was he missing?  Something he had seen, 
wasn't coming together. "No... most of them aren't."   
  
"Scully, assuming that he did follow her home in her car, how would he 
have gotten in her apartment?  There were no signs of forced entry, no 
signs that she let him enter...."  
  
"What are you getting at, Mulder.  What are you seeing?"  
  
"Scully, I get a feeling she was being stalked.  The killer, could have set 
it up the by watching her routine.  He could have set up shop, watched 
her patterns ..............knowing her habit for a drink after work, slipped 
the drug into the bottle before she even arrived home..."  
  
"Then why would have he staked out in the back of her car that night?"  
  
Looking around trying to figure that one out himself, "Maybe, he wasn't 
in her car that night....remember the garage video didn't show anyone 
around her car .........that's why I'm beginning to wonder if he found out 
where she lived by following her home one night before the actual 
murder.  Those prints could have been there from a few weeks ago?"  
  
"If you're right, and I'm not saying you are...., it would explain the 
coincidence of Moore being out of town, along with the fact............"  
  
"What......?  
  
Shaking her head in confusion, "I don't know Mulder, I just don't know 
anymore......"  

Whipping her head around to throw a pointed look at Mulder, "What 
EXACTLY makes you think this is a stalker?"  
  
"Would you believe me if I said my ouija board?"   Mulder asked with a 
boyish smile.  
  
"Uhhh....no......"  
  
'Oh boy here goes,' he thought to himself.  "There was too much anger 
in the crime.  You saw the body.   Other typical murder scenes are 
rarely 
that gruesome."  
  
Folding her arms against her chest, she patiently waited for Mulder to 
continue.    
  
"The rage in this guy was...... palpable.  You can almost taste his 
madness, Scully."  
  
"Then why rape her with the drug Rohypnol?  If he wanted to kill her he 
could have done that without the drug."  
  
Seeing that she was catching on, "Exactly.  I don't think he went there 
to kill her.  Scully, if you were planning on killing someone, would you 
bring a dull-bladed knife that was only three inches long?"  
  
Scully's eyes widened at the suggestion.  "How can you equate what 
someone else might do....."  
  
Halting her before she steered off the path, "This is what getting into 
the mind of a killer is like, Scully.  You have to think how he would 
think, assume what he would assume..... become the monster."  
  
Staring down at the floor in recognition of the prospects, she shifted 
from foot to foot as if physically weighing the options.    
  
"Scully, it's not ESP, or pshyco-kenesis, it's using your own logical mind 
to figure out the illogical patterns of a criminal.  It's what we do every 
day."  

Rising to his feet to lean over her, talking to her almost under his breath, 
"You can't let the fact that the victim was close get in the way."  
  
After a minute of silence, she nodded in tacit agreement.  
"Well......what do we agree on so far?"  
  
Mulder started to list the points in question by looking to her for her 
approval on each  item.  "The killer knew the victim."  
  
"Correct."  
  
"The killer had previous knowledge of her car and place of work."  
  
"Correct."  
  
"The killer's first motive was rape, not murder."  
  
"uhh.......Correct."  
  
"You want to disagree?"  
  
"No.....I think your evidence suggests that is true."  
  
"The killer knew her after work routine."  
  
"Falling in line with the Rohypnol and the primary motive, I would 
agree."  
  
"The killer killed out of rage, maybe even jealousy."  
  
"He was definitely disturbed, yes.  Jealous?  Too hard to tell."  
  
"I'll agree with you on that, Scully.  Now add up all that we believe to 
be true and tell me what you think."  
  
Letting her process the details and the assumptions for a few minutes, 
he resumed looking at the crime scene report for a few minutes, trying 
to spot something he hadn't seen.  
  
Sitting in the extra chair beside his desk, Scully came to the horrifying 
conclusion that he had already reached.  "I think you're right 
Mulder......I think maybe this was a stalking."  
  
A grimacing smile met hers as he felt her realize a painful fact.  "Well 
Mulder, what is our next course of action?"  
  
"As painful as it might be, I'm going to re-interview Moore to see if he 
had noticed any strangers hanging around, or if he noticed any items 
disappearing from their place before the murder.  If he was a stalker, the 
chances are pretty good he took prizes.... items of significance"  
  
Looking over to Scully, "I want you to do what you do best.  Go over 
every shred of physical evidence and break down every piece.  What is 
it?  Where did it come from?  Will it tell us anything about the killer? 
Anything we might readily dismiss."  
  
Recognizing the passion she had so dearly relied on for many years, her 
lips curved up knowing that whoever was perpetrating this horror didn't 
stand much of a chance against a determined Fox Mulder.  Her mind 
drifted back to that day, back during her cancer, when she told Dr. 
Karen Kosseff how much she had grown to depend on his passion and 
strength.  How she hadn't realized it until the cancer was eating away at 
her spirit.  Those days were fortunately long gone.  
  
"Come on Mulder, it's late.  We'll start fresh tomorrow."  
  
Mulder grabbed his jacket and they both made their way to her car.  
Approaching her car, he was still mired in the case.  As he headed for 
the passenger side, he couldn't help checking the floorboard behind the 
front seat.  His usual paranoia kicking in, he shrugged it off as he settled 
into his seat adjusting it for his size.  
  
  
*************  
  

Sci-Crime Lab
Thursday, January 20




  
By Thursday, the secondary interviews had yielded only a few more 
clues.  Thomas Moore had confirmed that his keys had been stolen 
while out running one evening a few weeks back, but remembered he 
found them in the couch a few days later.  This was the only thing he 
could think of fishy during the previous weeks.   Mulder checked off   
another item in the profile.  Formulating the recreation of the crime, 
Mulder assumed the keys could have been stolen, copied and then 
returned to make it look like a simple mistake.  Keeping in line with the 
typical profile of a stalker, this would consistent.  
  
Scully had sent the prints out to all the agencies she could possibly 
think of.  The Department of Defense, Interpol, and any other agency 
that would allow their databases to be searched.  Results would be 
slower in returning compared to the NCIC, but if this person had been 
fingerprinted for any reason, the chances were they would hit on him   
with this latest sweep. The Integrated Automated Fingerprint 
Identification System (IAFIS),  developed by the FBI, had completely 
replaced the old paper-based system for identifying and searching 
criminal history records.  When completed it would support a law 
enforcement agency's ability to digitally record fingerprints and   
electronically exchange information with the FBI.  
  
  
Fibers found on Agent McCraw's body confirmed the killer had been in 
her car recently.   Black polyester fibers from the material that covered 
the floormats in her silver Taurus was identified as that same material 
used by Ford in the assembly of her vehicle.  
  
Other pieces of fiber remained unidentifiable.  They were assumed to be 
clothes and carpet fibers from the killer's living quarters.  Along with 
those, Ford identified similar fibers to the black one's found that Scully 
had sent in as part of the control group.  The fiber's were dark blue.  
  
"Mulder, I got the results back on the extraneous fibers pulled off 
McCraw."  
  
"Anything interesting?"  Mulder leaned back in his chair as if he were 
still in the basement ready to go a few rounds with his partner.  
  
Studying the report in her hands, she didn't look up to see the curious 
look on his face.  "Mulder......Ford claims that the blue fibers are made 
by the same company that supplied them with the black polyester 
material for her floormats."  
  
Leaning forward with his elbows planted on his knees, his mind raced to 
fit the evidence to McCraw slowly understanding that the answer might 
literally be standing in front of him.  
  
"Scully, didn't you say that you and her had the same car.....same make, 
model, color, and year?  
  
"Yeah, except my interior is blue and hers was......."  

It didn't take much longer after her automatic response to grasp what he 
was implying.  "Mulder, you don't think the killer has been in my car do 
you?"  
  
"I don't know..... but I sure would like to find out."  He picked up the 
phone and dialed a familiar extension.  
  
"Yeah, this is Agent Mulder...............I need you to send me a forensics 
collection team to meet me in the parking garage in five minutes."  
  
"You want to tell me what this will prove, Mulder." 

"Scully, you know as well as I do that trace evidence can remain with a 
suspect's clothes, weapons... whatever for long periods of time." 
  
Before she could protest again, he forged ahead.  "If my suspicions 
about how he found where McCraw lived are correct, we'll match the 
fibers found on her body to the fibers in your car.  It's not unlikely that 
he mistook her car for yours. We'll also check for any extra sets of 
prints."  
  
Receiving some funny looks from the guys sent down from the 
forensics lab, Mulder explained his suspicions without giving too many 
details.  



*************

Annapolis, Maryland
7:06 PM
  
  
The ride home that evening was relatively quiet.  Cleaning the magnetic 
powder from the car had taken them almost an hour and it was still not 
completely gone.  Scully remained silent as they pulled into the parking 
space in front of her building.     
  
Mulder turned the key to shut the car off.  They sat their in silence for a 
few moments before Scully broke the meditation.  "You think this guy 
was stalking me, don't you?"  
  
"I never said that, Scully."  Mulder shook her shoulder, forcing her to 
stare at him.  
  
"Mulder......." shaking her head from side to side, "sometimes it's what 
you don't say that speaks the loudest."  
  
"You haven't noticed anyone following you, have you?  You haven't 
noticed anything missing from home, have you?"  

Mulder silently cursed himself for unintentionally mentioning the break-
in the previous October.
  
"My gun...it was never found... you said it yourself at that time it 
seemed weird to you someone would steal a gun....."  
  
"Scully...it doesn't mean anything yet.  We'll have to wait and see 
if there's anymore evidence.........listen to me.....aren't you usually the 
one telling ME to wait for the evidence?"  
  
Scully got out of the car, slamming the door and walked into the 
apartment.  Having her own words thrown back in her face never sat 
well with her, especially when she knew he was right.
    
Mulder fixed some dinner which she just poked at.  The night would 
bring little sleep for the restless.  Mulder was as afraid to find the truth 
as she was.  Seekers of the truth are rarely prepared for the answers of 
questions which they dare to ask.  


*************



Friday, January 21
6:43  AM

  
Awaking the next morning to find Scully in her regular position, her 
head laid across his chest, he secretly hoped it was by desire and not 
habit.  He wasn't able to see her eyes, but soon felt his fears diminish 
when she lightly kissed his chest.  The night before had been awkward, 
but not because of the arguing.   Disagreeing with one another was 
actually a healthy part of their relationship.  The fact they had let it spill 
over into their home life was what silently distressed them.    
  
Scully pulled herself up to nestle between his neck and chin.  "I'm 
scared, Mulder."  The admission was whisper quiet.  He knew how 
difficult it was for her to say those words.  
  
Almost as quiet.  "I know."  
  
"It's not everyday you find out someone who might have been stalking 
you, raped and killed a fellow colleague."  
  
Holding her a little closer, "Dana, we don't know that for sure.  Until we 
do....you can't allow yourself to think like that."  


*************


Friday didn't bring any better prospects.  The lab identified the fiber as 
being from Scully's car.  It was a clear match, even without the suspect's 
fingerprints found in the  back seat floorboard of her car to confirm 
Mulder's suspicion.  
  
It was extremely difficult to relate the findings to her.  Scully was 
formally removed from the case. The fact of tangible evidence of the 
murderer being found in her car brought this case a little too close to 
home.  Mulder requested Hastings to join him.    
  
Scully was forever the professional.  She understood the reasons and 
was not insulted at her removal.  It was standard procedure.  In the 
interest of justice she gladly stepped away so that if there were any 
accusations of a conflict in the suspects interests, her participation in 
the investigation would not be at the disposal of the defense to take   
advantage of.  
  

*************


  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
Violent Crimes Section  
Thursday, January 27  
10:12 AM  
  

The previous week and a half had proved to be rather fruitless.  
Searching for Agent McCraw's killer had slowly taken a toll and the 
Bureau hierarchy were growing impatient with the lack of movement.  
The news of Scully's dismissal from the case had gotten around the 
office with the usual speed, although Mulder had withheld their 
suspicions of it being the work of a stalker.
  
"Scully, I need you to come down here to the lab.... right away!"    
  
 Sensing alarm in his tone, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Can't talk over the phone, just get down here ASAP!"  

Mulder's insistent nature was a real cue for her to worry.  She knew that 
the tone of voice he was using was usually reserved for her when she 
was in danger.  With that 'comforting' thought crossing her mind, it 
made for a long elevator ride three floors down.    
  
Scully entered the lab with the urgent look on her face that Mulder 
expected.  Walking over to meet her before she was all the way in, he 
shot a look to Hastings who was standing by with Agent Dawson from 
the Sci-Crime Lab.    
  
Grabbing her elbow, he ushered around towards the door, "Come'on, 
let's find a room."  
  
Mulder was walking at a disturbing pace that almost frightened her.  He 
wouldn't approach her eyes with his as he found an interrogation room 
and guided her through the door.    
  
Scully was deeply concerned with his behavior.  His investigative mode 
was on and he didn't look pleased.  "Mulder, what's going on?"  
  
"We got the results in today from the finger-print analysis you 
requested a couple of weeks ago from the Department of Defense.  I 
had them go back and check older service records just to be safe.  They 
were slow but we got a match on the prints lifted from McCraw's 
body......the same prints lifted out of the back seat floormat 
out of your car."  
  
Scully slumped into the chair behind her, "Oh my god....who is it?"  
  
Mulder knelt to her eye-level. In his lowest, audible voice, "How much 
do you know about one Michael Anthony Jarvis?"  
  
Scully turned pale.  The color visibly leaving her face caught Mulder off 
guard as she recognized the name.  

The primary suspect.  

"Oh, God...no......"  
  
Before she could fall over in shock, Mulder grabbed her arms and pulled 
her into his.  Letting her catch her breath was all he could do.  The man 
whom she had seen on two occasions while Mulder and her had been 
apart was now the suspected rapist and killer of a co-worker.  

A federal agent.
  
"Oh my god, Mulder.....Bill set me up with him..."  With those fatal 
thoughts coming to the surface, Mulder watched her grief turn into a 
dull rage.  

"I want to be there Mulder. I want to be there when you arrest 
him.  I want to see that bastard's face when....."  
  
"Scully, you know as well as I do, you shouldn't be there..."  
  
Screaming, "I HAVE TO BE THERE......."  Pulling her weapon from 
her holster under her suit jacket.  

"HERE......take this if it will make you feel better..  I don't want to kill 
him..."  
  
Placing the gun back in her hand, "Scully, I know your reasons for 
wanting to go..........do you really think it will help you?"  
  
Bitterly, "I don't care if it helps me or not........I'm responsible for 
Jenny's death, I want to be responsible for his arrest."  
  
Mulder had no response.  He was overwhelmed at her immediate sense 
of guilt.  The feelings of her having anything to do with Agent 
McCraw's murder had transformed into a seething guilt-complex.  His 
training in Psychology told him it was natural, but seeing it first hand as 
she turned from sorrow to fury to guilt was eerie at best. 
  
She was one of the original investigators on the case so Hastings, 
against better judgment, let her come along for the capture on the 
condition she stayed behind to enter with the secondary unit.    
  
After confirming Jarvis was at his residence, Mulder and Hastings with a 
warrant in hand, assembled the SWAT team and informed them of the 
details.  Scully stood stone-faced in the back while Hastings went over 
the plan of action.  She wouldn't look at anyone as she stood back 
watching and fuming, especially Mulder.  
  

*************

  
Michael Jarvis's residence  
2:30 PM  
  
  
The SWAT team assembled around the front and back of the house 
covering both exits as a  sniper  set up across the street just in case a 
possible hostage situation ensued.  Mulder and Hastings would 
approach the door with caution not wanting to tip off Jarvis in case he   
was alerted.  Two members of the SWAT team would accompany them 
with the 'Door-Ram.'   It was a huge, black, lead filled cylinder that 
made quick work of dead bolts and provided a surprisingly loud sound 
to mark the start of the maneuvers that would hopefully yield the 
capture of the suspect with as few casualties as possible.  
  
Mulder was ready to leave with Hastings.  The preliminary surveillance 
of the home revealed a lone individual in a living room area, probably 
watching television.  Before leaving Scully behind at the truck with the 
secondary unit, he leaned over her and whispered into her ear, "Scully... 
were going in."  
  
As he turned around, she reached up to fasten his Kevlar vest a little 
tighter.  He looked back to see her eyes for the first time since that 
morning in the interrogation room.  Her gleaming eyes pleaded for 
him to 'be safe.'  

Mulder smiled back to reassure her the message had been received.  
  
Proceeding up the walk way with caution, Mulder and Hastings flanked 
the doorway with guns drawn.  After making sure all was quiet, Mulder 
signaled for the SWAT members to move into position.  
  
Whispering, "On the count of three."  
  
Holding up his fingers to give the two SWAT members a visual marker 
as well as an audible one, he started.  
  
"one"  
  
"Two"  
  
"THREE"  
  
BANG!!  
  
The door flew open with ease.  Entering from the front as the SWAT 
team members rushed in from the back, Mulder started for the living 
room where the suspect had been observed last.  Hastings was right 
behind him pointing his gun in the opposite direction.    
  
Mulder, not hearing any commotion from the room, hid behind the 
corner.  Signaling to Hastings to cover him, he whipped around into the 
living room, "FREEZE  FBI!"  
  
Mulder's heart sank as he saw the chair sitting there empty with the 
television droning on.   At that same moment Hastings caught 
movement from his right.  It was Jarvis buckling his pants as he exited 
the bathroom off to the side of his living room.  Before he could   
react a SWAT team member had him on the floor with a knee to his 
back.  The cuffs were being secured as Mulder yelled into his radio, 
"SWAT TEAM, SWEEP THE HOUSE!"  
  
Mulder could hear the SWAT team running up the stairs, kicking down 
doors and issuing orders to each other as he waited for the two words 
he cherished so much on these missions.   
  
"ALL CLEAR,"  came from his radio and the rooms upstairs.  
  
Another sigh of relief washed over Scully as she sprinted for the house.  
Entering the main room off to the right she found Mulder reading Jarvis 
his rights.  Jarvis heard her come in and locked eyes for a second before 
dipping his head.  He nodded slowly at Mulder's question to him asking 
if he understood the Miranda Rights.  
  
Scully watched him coldly as he was dragged to the SWAT van that 
would take him to jail. "You son of a bitch," she muttered under her 
breath as he passed by.  

Mulder had just dared to glance at Scully when his radio squawked 
at him again.  "Agent Mulder, Agent Hastings I think you better get up 
here...... you're going to want to see this."  
  
He looked over to Scully who was already in motion for the stairs.  He 
and Hastings followed Scully.  As the SWAT team leader opened the 
door for her, Mulder heard her gasp as his worst nightmare about what 
they would find, came true.  
  
Entering the room, Hastings breath was taken away as well.  One side of 
the wall was literally wall-papered with pictures, photos and Polaroid's 
of Agents Dana Scully and  Jenny McCraw.  Most of the photos were 
taken just outside the Hoover building or under the parking garage.  He 
noticed that some of them with Scully went back pretty far back,   
maybe a year or two, prompting more dangerous speculations.  
  
The pictures where either Scully or McCraw were taken in context with 
Mulder or Thomas Moore, respectfully, the heads of the offending 
interlopers in this madman's fantasies had been cut out.  The sanctuary 
was completed with books about the FBI and a few personal items that 
had been stolen from McCraw's apartment.  
  
Trying not to say it too loudly, Mulder had some instructions for 
Hastings.  "Jeff, have the forensics team look for any items that may not 
belong to McCraw and search the place for a small caliber handgun...... 
maybe a .22."  
  
Looking back around, Mulder saw that Scully had indeed overheard him 
and was soon putting the pieces together. Mulder's memory was as 
often a curse as it was a blessing.  When Mulder had heard the name 
Mike Jarvis, his first thought had been to draw the connection between 
him and Scully.  

It led right to Bill Scully Jr.    
  
The lonely nights during their separation of awaking to nightmares 
where an impatient Bill Scully called him "sorry son-of-a-bitch" came 
rushing back to him.  It was Bill's face that he always saw, but a 
different voice.  A voice he was now sure would belong to Mike Jarvis.
  
Catching the look on Hastings face, Mulder forcefully pulled Scully 
from the room.  She wasn't in the mood to fight back as the shock of the 
scene had overtaken her.  
  
Returning to the grief of the past several weeks, she stood with a rigid 
form that she was desperately trying to keep.   The other officers and 
SWAT team members stood there staring at Scully, recognizing the 
faces on the wall as hers.

The looks she saw in their eyes made the guilt come rushing back in 
waves.

Hastings returned to the hallway, "Mulder, we've got it from  here.  I 
think the search for McCraw's killer is pretty much over with this......"  
He held up a dull, blood-stained, pearing knife for Mulder's inspection.  
  
Mulder looked back to Hastings as he nodded in understanding.  
Hastings was telling Mulder to get her out of here and Mulder wasn't 
disagreeing.  Without saying a word Mulder ushered her to the car and 
squealed the tires leaving the scene.  

*************

Annapolis, Maryland
3:14  PM

  
When he arrived home, he walked around the car to find Scully making 
her way out.  Not wanting to smother her, he held the door open as she 
made her own way out of the car.  They walked up the steps to the 
brick apartment building.  

Not one word had been spoken since the crime scene.    
  
Entering the apartment, Mulder took off his Kevlar vest, which he had 
forgotten to earlier, and tossed it to the floor.  He unfastened her vest as 
well and after pulling it over her head, he deposited it next to his.  

Unsure of his next move he pulled her to the couch where Scully started 
to shiver.  It wasn't cold in the apartment.  If anything the heat was 
working a bit too well.  Recognizing from his own unfortunate 
experiences the symptoms of shock, he took the afghan off the back of 
the couch and wrapped her in it with his arms tight around her.  
  
Trembling, she looked up into Mulder's eyes.  "He's the one who shot 
you.... isn't he?"  
  
Again, Mulder's lack of response answered the question.  "Bill....... he 
must have told Mike about you..... about......oh my God, you.... that 
night in the hospital.....what I said to you........and then Jenny...."  
  
With a sudden lurch, Scully ran to the bathroom and  emptied the 
remains of her stomach.  It made her physically ill to think about what 
Mike Jarvis had done to Mulder, Jenny and God knows who else.  
  
Mulder went after her preparing a wash cloth and her toothbrush.  He 
checked for the bottle of mouthwash as he patiently waited for her to 
stop heaving.  Most of it was dry and just her body convulsing at the 
mere thoughts of  the past deeds of the sick man.  He joined her on the 
floor with the wash cloth and helped her clean up.  Out of breath and a   
bit delirious from the vomiting, Scully leaned back as Mulder stroked 
her back while flushing the toilet.  
  
Scully recovered and hit the toothbrush, purging the acidic taste of 
stomach bile from her mouth.  Ten minutes later she rejoined Mulder on 
the couch.  Without a word, Mulder pulled the afghan around her again 
and wrapped themselves up.  
  
  
Sometime after 8:30 PM, Mulder woke up to find Scully smiling sadly 
at him as she played with a lock of hair that occasionally floated down 
over his eyes.    
  
Mulder started to shift up only to be pushed back to where he was 
resting.  "Hell of a day, huh?"  
  
Relieved to hear her voice after the earlier events, Mulder let out his 
breath in a loud sigh.  "You could say that."  
  
"Mulder, I think that's the best we've slept in weeks."  
  
Opening his eyes wide to push the sleepiness from them, "I think you're 
right."  
  
Just staring at one another for a moment, they both seemed to relax.  
"You okay?"  
  
With as much confidence as she could exude, "I think so.  I'm just glad 
this is finally over."  
  
All Mulder could offer was, "Me too."  
  
After another minute or two, Mulder forced himself to get it over with 
as soon as possible.   

"Scully, you said to me earlier today you felt responsible for McCraw.  
You know that you're not to blame in any possible way, don't you?"  
  
Fearing that she would clam up at the notion of talking about it, he 
wanted to take advantage of the situation for her own good.  He was 
pleasantly surprised when she started to reply.  
  
"I ....I know that.  I know Jarvis was probably suffering from some 
severe physiological and psychological problems, but you can't deny 
the connection between you, Jenny and me to Jarvis."  
  
Mulder stayed quiet for a few minutes before a sparkling object caught 
his eye just beyond the side of her neck.  Pulling at her gold chain, 
which permanently carried the gold cross he had seen around her neck 
ever since he met her, he centered it on her chest.  
  
Lifting his head in acknowledgment, "Scully?"  
  
Catching his eye, "Yeah?"    
  
"Would you do something for me?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Deliberately continuing at a slow pace, "Would you go to see Karen 
Kosseff tomorrow?"  Mulder intentionally dropped the 'Dr.' in hopes 
she wouldn't think of her as a clinical psychologist.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I think that you will need to work through these feelings of guilt.  
 I just want you....... I don't want this to eat you up.... "  
  
Cupping her cheek with his hand, "...... just don't expect me to sit by 
and watch you destroy yourself........"  
  
Taken back by his frankness, "Mulder, I would never let this ....."  
  
Placing a finger to her lips to quiet her, "I know you wouldn't ....but you 
...... just take it from someone who knows first hand.."  
  


*************


Employee Assistance Program
Dr. Karen Kosseff's office  
Tuesday, February 1  
9:00 AM  
  
  
Special Agent Dana Scully approached the office of the Employee 
Assistance Program that the FBI offered to its employees, specializing in 
counseling the agents in the Bureau's charge.  This was a place that 
earlier in her career, Scully had depended on from time to time.  
It was a surprise when Mulder had mentioned Karen's name last 
Thursday night.  Scully had never revealed seeking assistance through 
this office to him, but somehow, as always, he knew.    
  
Regarding the older, heavy-set woman, she met her with a half-smile 
and a firm handshake.  "Good morning, Dana."  
  
Dr. Karen Kosseff was well known throughout the Bureau for her 
dedicated service, willingness to help and trustworthiness.  Scully felt 
comfortable with her, trusting only in the knowledge that as a fellow 
member of the medical community,  she was safe.  
  
"Nice to see you again, Karen."  

The woman returned the offered hand shake and led Dana to the chair 
she had sat in on several occasions.   Dana always felt a little awkward 
about starting the conversations.  
  
Karen was well-trained with years of experience.  Realizing her 
reluctance to dive headfirst into the deep end, Karen would usually start 
small and prod her patients along as needed with timely introspective 
questions that would hopefully allow the patient to reveal their reasons 
for being in her office to themselves.   This was a popular form of   
therapy that allowed a sense of control over the proceedings that was 
usually comforting,  especially to the type of patients she dealt with on 
a daily basis.  
  
"It's been a while, Dana."  Looking down at her folder she noted that 
the last time Dana Scully had been to see her was in April of 1997.  

"You look well, life is agreeing with you I take it?"  
  
"For the most part." Scully said quietly.  
  
"I was so happy to hear about your successful fight with cancer."  
Karen offered in a quiet, smooth voice that had a trance-like effect on 
her patients.  It was deliberate and confident.  
  
Scully smiled and nodded in acknowledgment at the reference to her 
health problems a few years back.  
  
"What brings you to see me, Dana?"  
  
Scully bit her lip for a moment searching for the words to carry through 
with this.  "A friend of mine is concerned about my involvement in the 
McCraw case."  
  
"Were you concerned about your involvement in the case?"  
  
Scully could see a copy of the case summary in Karen's hands.  She had 
obviously done some homework since Scully had made the appointment 
last Friday.  
  
"Yes...........I was the one who led the killer to Jenny."  
  
Taking in her answer, Karen weighed her choices before going on.  
"How so?"  
  
"The....suspect.....was an acquaintance of my brother........"  
  
"Oh?"  It was said without judgment or persecution.  
  
"It was a man with whom I had several social .....outings with."  Scully 
dipped her head.  
  
Reading her body language, "You feel that because you went on a 
couple of dates with him, he would not have stalked or met Jenny 
McCraw otherwise."  It was a statement.  An understanding of the guilt 
Scully was associating with.  
  
All Scully could do was slowly nod her head.  
  
"Dana, this friend who recommended you come to see me........do they 
feel you're to blame in her death."  
  
Quickly looking up to show confidence in her answer, "No......not at 
all......he thinks it was just a fateful occurrence.......that if the killer had 
not stalked me or Jenny.....he would have found someone else."  
  
"Why don't you want to believe him?"  
  
"It's not that I don't believe him......"  

After a moment to collect herself she unveiled another aspect of her 
deep seated feelings of guilt.  "After the capture of the suspect we   
found ........ personal belongings of mine along with that of Agent 
McCraws's..."  Her eyes averted Karen as she trailed off her 
statement.  
  
Nodding her head in understanding, Karen recognized this behavior as 
common among those who preyed on the unlikely.  She also detected 
that Dana had not revealed the entire story.  "What else upsets you 
about the capture?"  
  
Wiping her eyes before a tear could fall,  she started to continue.  "The 
team also found another small caliber handgun along with the murder 
weapon."  

Collecting herself she went on.  "The ballistics report that came back 
proved the weapon had been used in the shooting of another fellow 
agent......... Agent Mulder...... my former partner."  
  
Scully remained silent while Karen decided how to approach this from a 
different angle.  The emotion delivered with this information was 
important, but for what reason yet, Karen couldn't quite interpret.  

"Dana, I see from the case report that your investigative abilities are 
also responsible for catching the suspect."  
  
Dana nodded again, this time with more conviction.  
  
"The feelings you're having are natural, but that doesn't mean they're 
correct.  It is in the nature of people in this business, especially people 
who see themselves as being strong, almost invincible, to take the 
burdens into their own hearts."  
  
"I'm..... aware that the feelings I have are misguided, but I just can't help 
but feel this whole thing would never have happened if......."  
  
Dr. Kosseff shifted in her seat as she trained herself for the crucial bits 
of information that would fill in the remaining pieces of the puzzle. "If 
what, Dana...?"
  
"If......I would have had the guts to tell my friend the truth ......about 
how I felt ....."  
  
Acutely hanging on to her every word, she looked down at her notes of 
the previous answers from Scully.  Searching for a tie in, Karen was 
somewhat lost at her last statement.
  
"...the failure to find within myself the courage to fix my relationship 
with my former partner..........resulted in me seeing the suspect."  
  
Leaning back in her own chair, Karen was beginning to see a familiar 
connection.  A connection she was surprised to hear of this time. 
  
"Your former partner, Agent Mulder.  He was also on the team that 
brought the suspect in?"  
  
Again, just a simple nod of her head.  
  
"Going back to your 'failure,' do you blame him for your personal 
association with the suspect?"  
  
"I don't know.....I really don't...."  Scully trailed off pondering the 
thought.  
  
"I take it, from what you've told me,  after your partnership with Agent 
Mulder was over, you two had difficulty in establishing a relationship 
outside of your working together?"  
  
Looking off into the distance, "Yeah, you could say that."  
  
"Dana, in the past, in some of our visits before....... it has become 
apparent that Agent Mulder is the underlying reason for some of your 
mis-perceptions......about yourself.....maybe about him, I assume?"  
  
"Agent Mulder has been everything, my strength.  I depend on him 
for so much.  We depend on each other more than ever."  
  
Tilting her head to the side, "I take it that means you've been able to 
find some common ground."  
  
Smiling shyly, "We've been seeing each other... personally..."  
  
Karen was a little taken back at this piece of evidence, but considering 
the fact that they were now personally involved as well as Mulder being 
a victim of this man's actions made the facts fall into place. "I see."  
  
"About a year and a half after we were split up and several 
confrontations we realized exactly how much we had come to 
depend on each other, not only as partners, but as friends; important 
parts of each other's lives."  
  
"He's the friend who encouraged you to confront your feelings over 
this last case." 

Smiling again, "Yes."  

Karen took a moment to herself to evaluate everything she had heard.  
Processing the important information along with what Scully saw as 
important.
  
"Dana, only you can give a rational interpretation to the events 
surrounding this case.  Do you think...can Agent Mulder help you to 
understand this?"  
  
"I don't think that's in question, otherwise he wouldn't have suggested I 
come here."    
  
"I think the question is will you let him help you?  Helping yourself, by 
coming here today is the first step to putting these feelings in their 
proper place, but letting someone else help at the same time.... someone 
whom I assume loves you very much, can make it so much easier.   In 
the past, you always resisted his help.  Maybe it's time you start."  
  
This struck a certain chord of discovery in Scully.  'Was that the reason 
he wanted me to see Karen.  Not that he couldn't help me.....but he 
didn't think I would let him?'  
  
Sensing a moment of self-realization, Karen paused to let Scully reveal 
her own questions to herself.  
  
"Dana, what's important  to you in your life right now?"  This was a 
strategically planned question, strategically aimed at providing another 
avenue for self-awareness.  Scully was familiar with the technique, she 
had been through it before.  
  
"........Mulder,..........my faith,.........my career"  
  
Checking her notes, "Do you realize that since your last visit with me, 
'Mulder' is now listed by you as the first item......instead of second or 
third."  
  
"Your feelings for your partner have always run deeply Dana. I've 
witnessed this before. Does he know where he stands in your life?"  
  
Dana was stunned at the thought of Mulder not knowing how much he 
meant to her.  It was ridiculous for the question to be asked of her.  

Of them. 

Then, Scully asked it to herself.  She couldn't even remember the last 
time she had consciously said 'I love you, Mulder.' Had she ever? 
  
"Dana, you have the power within you to see your way past this 
misplaced guilt and by allowing Agent Mulder to participate in the 
process, you will probably find that he lays claim to some of it also."
   
"Your commitment to him has been challenged by something   
that happened that you haven't yet dealt with yourself.  Recognizing 
that, I believe will put you back on the correct course."  
  
Closing the folder in her lap, she leaned forward to look into Scully's 
eyes.  "Your devotion to him, the very thing that brought you here 
today, can pull you through this misplaced guilt if you let it."  
  
These last words found their way not only into her mind but most 
importantly, her heart.  Thanking Karen for her time, she found her way 
to the front steps of the Hoover building and a bench off to the side.

Reflecting on her visit with Dr. Kosseff, Scully pulled her cell-phone 
from her coat pocket and fingered the keys that would start her healing.  
  
"Mulder."  
  
"It's me."  
  
"Hey, me."  
  
"You got a few minutes?"  
  
"Sure......where are you?"  
  
Smiling at his predictable nobility, "I'm out front sitting on a bench 
across the street, wanna join me?"  
  
"Be there in five minutes."  
  
  
**************  
  
  
Maneuvering  his way down to the lobby, he navigated his way through 
the mid-day mass of employees, tourists and other people to reach the 
front doors.  
  
Approaching from the back, she didn't see him walk up on this cold, 
overcast day.  
  
"This seat taken," he asked dryly.  
  
Scully remembered their old exchange. 

"No, but I must warn you, I've been suffering from unrealistic amounts 
of guilt lately."  
  
"That's okay, guilt is my specialty."  Mulder pulled his trenchcoat 
closer to him and sat down next to her leaving about a foot in between 
them.  He crossed his legs towards her and waited for her to open the   
conversation if she wanted to talk.  
  
Sitting idle for a few minutes she prepared to delve into the waters.  
"You ever think back to those first few years, Mulder?"  
  
Nodding his head, "All the time...."  
  
"You ever wish you could go back and relive those moments all over 
again?"  
  
Thoughtfully, considering his answer, "Sometimes..........but not if it 
didn't have me sitting here on this bench.........with you."  
  
The wind flapped at his lapels as several more minutes flew by with 
them.  
  
"I just don't seem to know what to do, Mulder."  
  
Turning his head to observe her profile, "What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm just not used to this feeling.......  It's almost like I can physically feel 
the emotions coursing through me.  Bending me... shaping me... 
pulling...."  
  
"What exactly is it that you feel?"  
  
She turned to face him fully. "Something I've never felt before .... or at 
least I never recognized it........dependence."  
  
Glancing at her sideways, "On what?"  
  
Turning her eyes to meet his, "On you......on us...  I mean.... to some 
degree, especially when we were partners I depended on your fire and 
intensity, but this is different...what we have...is what I'm becoming 
dependent on."  
  
Mulder paused to think for a minute. "Is this bad?"  
  
Ignoring the question on purpose so she wouldn't lose her train of 
thought, Scully plowed through.    "Karen raised a few interesting 
points today.  She was able to trace my guilt not to going out with 
Jarvis, but the reasons I was going out with him?"  
  
"And those reasons were?"  
  
Contemplating for a few minutes on how to put it.  "For the most part, 
because I was alone...... my best friend was gone after all we had gone 
through... and the changes at the Bureau.... I didn't want to think about 
the past anymore."  
  
"What does that have to do with what Jarvis did?"  
  
"It's that...  I feel that if I had of........ come to my senses sooner 
.......Jarvis never would have met me or saw Jenny."  
  
"You don't know that.  In fact the same could be said about me 
too, Scully."  
  
Sighing, remembering what Karen had said about Mulder taking some 
of the blame for himself, she started to chuckle.    
  
"What's so funny?"  Mulder looked at her with a perplexing face.  
  
"It's just that I'm sitting here having a hard time dealing with guilt, while 
you try to take some for yourself, like always."  
  
Scooting over to put his arm around her to help her stay warm, "Well, 
we have to do what we do best, don't we?"  
  
"Karen also made me realize that I can't go it alone, anymore.  I've been 
trying so hard all these years to be so independent....deal with 
everything on my own..."  
  
Questioning, "What about the past five months?  You haven't been on 
your own ......have you?"  
  
"I haven't been alone, but I've been reluctant to give in to what we are 
becoming......and it scares me how much I depend on you when I 
thought I didn't need to rely on anyone."  
  
Straightening up in his seat, "Again, is that a bad thing.... relying on us... 
what we have together now?"  
  
Pushing his fears back down, "No, Mulder."  

Reaching for his hand, "It's just that ........I've never needed anyone in 
my life as much as I need and want you."  
  
Seeing the pieces fall into place, he pulled her closer to his chest so his 
mouth was just above her ear.  "Look at me, Scully......"  
  
She tilted her head up to see his darkened eyes.  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
She smiled brightly on the overcast day.  "So very much."  
  
The corners of his mouth turned up to reveal a smile. "That ache in your 
chest that you feel, you've got to ....release it.....let it go."  
  
Continuing on, "Trust me, it doesn't hurt as much to let it go ....than it 
does to hold on to it."  
  
For the first time since the funeral, a tear dropped from her lower, eye-
lid.  She stared so hard into his eyes searching for his soul, only to 
realize it had been hers all along.  
  
Shaking her head in a weak and broken voice, "There aren't words, 
Mulder........ sometimes there aren't any words to tell you how 
much....."  
  
"I know, Scully....... I know."
  

  
  
[Inevitable Evils]  
  
  
  
An essence of greater power would recognize those that defied the 
order.  The recesses of time that slow our lives down to a crawl some 
days can inflict the pains of discovery and at other times, diminish fears 
that will anchor a heart to its owner.    
  
An ancient Greek philosopher once echoed the words that remain a 
cornerstone for the human search for happiness.  It has been said that 
the motivation and search for the state of its being, rest within the same 
heart.  To receive and give, while searching for the elusive higher state 
of being human would always rest between the souls of the destined.  
  
  
  
Monday, February 7  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
12:16  PM  
  
  
The week of discovery leading to the full confession by Michael 
Anthony Jarvis sent chills throughout the building.  As the evidence 
mounted and matched the suspect, the full awareness of what had 
transpired came to the bureaucrats who searched these halls   
everyday for justice.     
  
Mulder was now tuned out to the normal harassment that he usually 
took from other agents.  His demeanor was cold, laced with steel 
determination.  He walked the halls with purpose and a certain amount 
of malevolence as he took respect from those around him, not waiting 
for them to measure it out.  
  
Scully's 'involvement' in the case had everyone whispering at the 
prospects of her one time fate. The basement office was soon taking 
residence at the water fountain.   

The ones who worked within her immediate presence were not affected 
by the rumors.  Knowing anything about Dana Scully would stifle any 
misconceptions as to the quality of agent and human being that she was.  
  
Admittedly, however, she was unable to escape her past.  Too many 
stories running around about her disappearance years ago, all that time 
with 'Spooky', and now the focus of a stalker who had taken the life of 
their fellow colleague.  
  
Exiting from the elevator, in one of her flattering, tailored suits, she 
read the PCR report from the semen sample found on McCraw 
compared to the blood taken from Jarvis.  A distinct comparison 
appeared allowing the prosecutors undeniable proof of his malicious 
actions.  Rape followed by murder would secure the future of Jarvis to a 
federal prison in Marion, Illinois for the rest of his life.  
  
Not paying particular attention to the hall ahead of her that day, she 
failed to notice the stares and hushed whispers announcing her 
presence.  It had been a regular occurrence in the older days, but had 
dissipated with her and Mulder's assimilation into the Bureau   
mainstream.  Hopefully it would disappear again.  
  
Scully walked to her desk only to meet Mulder sitting in her chair, 
chatting with Agent Holland across the desk.  Describing an old 
X-file that they had shared, all she heard was Holland asking, "Is that 
why she has an aversion to fried chicken?"  
  
Scully shook her head at the unpleasant memory as Mulder noticed her 
approaching.  "Sorry, Scully....he was interested in the case we had in 
Dudley, Arkansas."  
  
Glaring at her two ex-partners, "Umm-hmm.......sure....whatever you 
say Mulder."  
  
"Actually I was here to see if you could clear a little time on your 
schedule for an extended lunch today?"  
  
Checking her calendar, she looked back.  "Sure, what's up?"  
  
Rolling his eyes into the back of his head, "Do you remember the 
distinguished Congressman Trent Rogers?"  
  
Warily looking over to Holland, then back to Mulder.  "Uh...yeah?"  
  
Sighing in response, "He has requested my presence at the State 
Department for a lunch that's being given for him."  
  
"Requested or invited?"  
  
"Rogers said he had something very important to talk to me about......... 
something that involves my father.....or as he said, 'could involve my 
future.'"  
  
The concern was instantly etched on her face. "You want me along 
for this?"  
  
Smiling back down at her, "Yeah, I just thought that you would like to 
get out of here for a little while..........get away from the usual crowd."  
  
Scully knew what he meant.  It had not been easy the past few weeks.  
Scully, for no reason at all, would wear a black mark for the 
unintentional involvement in McCraw's death.  
 

*************
 
  
United States Department of State  
Downtown Washington D.C.  
1:30 PM  
  
Lunch had been full of the usual rubber-chicken and potatoes meal the 
seemed to find itself into every diplomatic event that Mulder had ever 
seen.  The visitor's name tags that proudly displayed their credentials 
along with their affiliation was just as infuriating.  Enjoying anonymity 
had long since been one of Mulder's favorite pastimes.  Yet, ever   
since the 'Spokane affair," as they now dubbed it around the office, 
anonymity was something Mulder hadn't been afforded.  
  
Trent Rogers was indeed the honored guest as the State Department 
recognized one of their own for the years of service.  Mulder and Scully 
found no small coincidence that this man also just happened to be 
leading in the polls for his party's nomination to be the candidate for 
President of the United States.     
  
This event was being held on Federal property and for that reason no 
campaign contributions could be collected or solicited.  Mulder thought 
by some small miracle they would be spared the long and politically 
challenging speech that usually accompanied events such as these.  
Mulder was fresh out of miracles as he listened to Rogers finish up   
his short-version of the summary of his candidacy.  The short version 
was only forty-five minutes.
  
Painfully smiling to Scully, he mouthed the words, 'Sorry.'  She simply 
smiled back to reassure him that she didn't mind.  
  
The applause lasted a little longer than expected.  As Mulder was sitting 
back down in his chair, a younger black gentleman leaned in to say 
something to Mulder.  "Meet me at the side door in ten minutes,"  as he 
motioned to the side of the room.  Mulder nodded.  
  
Ten minutes later he and Scully had fought through the crowd to meet 
the assigned destination.  The same gentleman gestured for them to 
follow him towards a hallway that led to a set of conference rooms 
outside of the main auditorium.  "Follow me, Mr. Mulder."  
  
The gentleman led them into one of the smaller conference areas that 
resembled a study that might accompany someone's den rather than a 
sterilized federal building.  Finding a few comfortable chairs, they made 
themselves comfortable when the polite gentleman left.  
  
"Wonderful chicken, Mulder.  You always treat your girlfriends to such 
lavish meals and entertainment?"  Scully playfully asked.  
  
"Sorry....... guess I deserved that one,"  he said reluctantly.    
  
"Did you happen to see who was sitting two tables to the right of us, 
Mulder?"  
  
"No....who?"  
  
"Only our boss........  the Director of the FBI,"  she deadpanned.  
  
"Director Jacobs?  Oh good, maybe we can catch a ride back to the 
office..."  His smirky smile was short and sweet.  
  
Just then, the door opened to reveal the man of the hour himself, Trent 
Rogers.  
  
Surprised to see more than one person in the room, "Folks, I'm so sorry 
to have kept you waiting.  I hope you won't hold it against me."  

'Forever the politician,' Scully thought to herself.  'Always trying for that 
extra vote.'  
  
"Agent Mulder, I wanted you here today to give you a bit of news 
which might be unpleasant.  If so, I want to apologize for it.  This might 
not be happening right now if I weren't running for office."     
  
Leaning into the front of his chair with his hands on his knees, "What 
kind of news.......'Trent,'" saying his name to emphasize his frustration at 
the days events.  
  
Looking over to Scully, "I'm not sure if you would want to discuss this 
in public, Agent Mulder."    
  
Before she could even think of leaving him alone with Rogers, Mulder 
put his hand around hers on the armrest.  "Anything you say to me will 
eventually get relayed to Scully, so just save my breath, will you?"  
  
Taking in a new understanding of the relationship of these two, "Well, 
it's your choice.  I just want you to know that this could affect you and 
those around you Agent Mulder."  
  
"Duly noted......."  
  
Taking in and releasing a rather long breath, Rogers closed his eyes as 
if in pain before he began.  "Agent Mulder, it has been recently brought 
to my attention that 'other' forces in the political arena in which I am 
now involved are seeking out information from my past which might do 
me and other's around me harm if certain events seek the light of day."  
  
Closing his own eyes, "How does your past involve me?"  
  
Knowing the answer before he heard it, Mulder braced himself for the 
inevitable.  
  
"Your father and I worked together at the State Department back in the 
late sixties and early seventies.  Your father, Fox, was a decent man.  He 
made some mistakes along the way, some unfortunate alliances, but in 
the end he was better than most of the men we were working for."  
  
"I thought you said you and my father didn't know each other that 
well."  Mulder's memory served him well.  
  
"In all actuality, we didn't know each other that well, but we did work 
on similar projects from time to time."  
  
Mulder held silent.  The implications of this man's meaning sent a slight 
chill through Mulder's body.  Fearing the man could see it, Mulder 
dipped his head to avert his eyes.  
  
A lone voice from the back of his mind, a shadow of his former life 
pushing forward in relentless pursuit of the truth beckoned from 
beyond its grave..  "What kind of  projects, Mr. Rogers?"    
  
"Projects that you and your partner stumbled upon a few years ago."  
  
Tensing at her own memories of the past, Scully inhaled deeply, as if 
sub-consciously trying to get Mulder's attention.  
  
"The fact that alien forces have lived among us, the fact that 
unauthorized genetic cloning experiments were maintained without the 
knowledge of its participants.  Pieces of the truth which you have put 
together over the years."  
  
Rage filling him to a near abyss of insanity, "And this is supposed to 
harm me even further....... there's nothing you can tell me that hasn't 
already killed my father or my memories of him."  
  
Sitting back to prepare for the final blow, Rogers continued.  "Maybe 
so, but my enemies may use that knowledge of men like your father and 
others to drag me down and usurp my chances at success."  
  
Bitterly, "Why should you succeed?  It sounds like to me you were 
neck-deep in it yourself.  If the picture your so-called enemies paint is 
true, why would I care.  The truth is all I ever wanted...."  Turning to 
Scully, who had remained silent, "all WE'VE ever wanted."  
  
"That is what I hoped for."  
  
Confused, Mulder studied the man for a better explanation.  
  
"Mr. Mulder, in the projects that we worked on, not all the men we 
worked with were as dark and evil as you would believe.  There were 
struggles of power within the group.  They raged for years before the 
inevitable evils took their place of power..... forcing men such as your 
father and myself out of the group."  
  
Rogers, now dipped his own words to mutter the damning truth that 
Mulder had forever suspected, but could never voice.  "Did you ever 
ask why your sister was taken?   I know you've asked where, when, 
how, but did you ever honestly ask yourself why?"  
  
Leaping to his feet, Mulder picked up Rogers by his lapels, shaking the 
older man to look him in the eye.  "What do you know... what do you 
want from me?"   Scully had quickly followed Mulder to pull him off of 
the Congressman.  
  
As calmly as he could, Rogers finished.  "I know your sister's life  paid 
for your safety....... for your mother's health......"  

Taking a quick look at Scully, ".....for your partner's return.  Yes, your 
father gave your sister up.... but services were rendered in return."  
  
The shock of the words couldn't erase the knowledge he had known and 
feared for years.  Knowing everything Rogers had said with certainty 
was the truth, Mulder slumped into the chair, unable to see his own 
shadow.  
  
"Your father was a fighter.........unfortunately the evils he fought against 
engulfed him Your father paid the ultimate price for all of us.  He was 
made the example."  
  
Scully had heard enough, herself.  "Why are you telling us this.... what 
good could possibly come from this now."  
  
"Because the fight is not over..... and the son must avenge his father's 
traitors."  
  
With that Mulder looked up at Rogers who returned the confident stare.  
"The fight your father started is the fight you continued whether you 
knew it or not.  They were weakened over the years due to your 
work.  They created their own worst enemy."  
  
Recalling his ability to speak, "I can't change the past.  Whatever deeds 
he made with the devil can't be redeemed, no matter what his intentions 
were?"  
  
"This may be true Agent Mulder, but your father prepared for this 
eventuality.  He told me that one day they would betray him again and 
go after you.  He knew he would never be around to help you, so he 
wanted to make sure you could know his truth."  
  
From his jacket pocket, Trent Rogers produced a key.  It was old 
looking, flat and long with square grooves etched in them.  "It is with 
this he hoped you would see what he could never tell you.  It will not 
save him, but it might save you."  
  
Mulder took the brass object from his hand.  "Oh, God..... not another 
piece of the ever growing puzzle..... this is worse than a bad mystery 
novel."  
  
Scully, mindful of how self-serving these shadowy men could be, 
"Would this save you?"  
  
"If it can or cannot is not the question. In fact it may very well destroy 
me.  I think that's what the 'forces' are looking for.  I won't dodge my 
way out of any allegations.  I plan to disclose whatever answers the 
public needs to hear.  I won't shirk my responsibility to what your father 
did for me and the countless others who resisted.  But, I cannot let the 
man who led our fight lose everything.  Your father didn't deserve his 
fate and you don't deserve his either.  I warn you.  The men involved 
will stop at nothing to get what they want back."  
  
Rogers turned and left the room.  Mulder stood staring at the key in his 
hand.  Scully placed her hand along his arm and studied the key herself.  
Mulder then placed the key into her palm, closing her fingers around it.  
"I don't know what to think..."  
  
Taking the key, Scully put it in her pocket.  "Mulder, in time I think you 
will."  
  
Exhaling a breath before continuing, he walked out the door and the 
past he wanted to forget.  Scully caught up to him and remained quiet.  
Sometimes all she could do was just hold her thoughts and let him stew.    
  
Arriving back at the Hoover building, Mulder exited the car in the 
parking garage at the Bureau, "I'll see you tonight, Scully.... thanks 
for..."  
  
Offering him a pained smile, she understood his meaning.  "See'ya at 
home, Mulder."  
  
Scully just watched him as the strode towards the stairs.  His shoulders 
hung lower than usual.  A self-deprecating torture Mulder liked to put 
himself through when he wanted a minute to think.  Scully headed for 
the elevator for her own trip to the fourth floor.    
  
  
*************  
  
  
After a conference call with a field office in Salt Lake City, Scully had 
arrived back at her desk at around 4:45 PM that afternoon to find a 
short note from Mulder left on her picture of her family.  It was a 
note that for some reason, she expected:  

            Scully,  
                         I'll be a little late tonight.  Don't worry.  
                                                                -Mulder  
  
  
An hour before midnight, Scully heard the front door open and close 
back with a decisive thud as the deadbolt was turned.  She was in bed, 
reading a medical journal, waiting up for him. 

This was the first official 'ditch' he had committed since their recovery, 
but she had a hard time finding anger to express her feelings like she had 
when they were partners.  

`Hell,' she thought, `he even wrote a note this time.'
  
After hearing the chain fastened and Mulder's quick trip to the fridge, 
she waited for his entrance.
    
Walking down the hallway she recognized his deliberate pace as he 
found his way to the bedroom.    
  
With his coat flung across his arm and his tie undone, he walked slowly 
in to see Scully buried in her studies.  He knew that he had shut her out.  
He hoped she would understand his need to be alone for a few hours 
and figure out his thoughts.    
  
Scully looked up over her glasses, "Evening, stranger."  
  
"I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
Mulder pulled off his pants, unbuttoned his shirt and went to take a 
shower. As he stood under the scalding water, he slowly turned the cold 
water handle to the right, finding the right temperature to adequately 
sting his body.    
  
After fifteen minutes, Mulder turned the water off and exited the shower 
to find Scully standing there waiting with a towel.  Without saying a 
word, she took it upon herself to dry him.   When he couldn't make 
sense of his life, she was there waiting to help him pick up the pieces.  
Handing him a fresh pair of boxer shorts, she turned to exit the small 
room.  
  
A few minutes later, he found her back in her place in bed without the 
journals.  His side was turned down waiting for him.  Mulder gently sat 
down and pulled the covers up over himself.  Scully turned off the light 
and rolled over, facing him mere inches apart.  
  
"We've seen this before."  Scully said in a whisper.  
  
"Don't remind me.  My ass is still freezing from the last old friend of my 
father's."  
  
"For such an mysterious man, your father certainly had a lot of 'friends' 
with his work at the State Department."  
  
"Let's just say that's one good thing I didn't inherit from him."  
  
Shifting closer into his side, "You made one friend at work."  

Scully could see his sad smile even in the dark.

In a whisper quiet voice,  "You wanna talk about it?"  
  
Running his fingers along her arm, "Not especially.......I'm just tired of 
trying to escape the past."  
  
"Is it that important that you do?"  
  
Sighing loudly, "I don't know anymore......  I feel like the life I tried to 
forget, all came back within a few minutes...... like the past few years 
didn't even happen."  
  
Sub-consciously, Scully shifted even closer to let him know that she 
was real and within his reach.  
  
"I'm back in my apartment, laying on the couch, waiting for a call...... 
waiting for the next bit of information to send me off chasing God-
knows-what."  
  
Taking his cheek in her hand she stroked his face with a tenderness, 
trying to make him understand his thoughts. Sympathizing with his 
fears, his dreams, a cold reality of his own past.   
  
"Scully, the struggle of finding meaning in my life sometimes 
overwhelms me........... I didn't mean to disappear tonight.  I hope you 
didn't worry too much."  
  
Rolling on top of him, she reached around to hug him fiercely.  " 
Mulder....... I do understand.  I didn't like it, but I know what you had 
to do."     
  
"I feel almost sick .... mentally exhausted.  I hate him for this.  I hate 
him for so much,  I can't get him out of my mind.........   
  
Feeling the warmth of her body, Mulder pulled tighter and rolled them 
on to their sides still embraced.  

Kissing him to ease his pain, "It'll be over one day.....one day it'll all go 
away."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Tuesday morning arrived to find business progressing as usual at the 
Bureau.  Cases being assigned, old ones being wrapped up, evidence 
being sought.   Mulder's spirits had been raised by waking up to Scully 
softly snoring on his chest.  Maybe not as much of a snoring sound she 
made, rather it was a heavy breathing crossed between a small kitten   
purring for the first time  She would forever deny her ability to snore, 
but Mulder knew different.  Another endearing quality to him.  
  
Things sure could go down hill pretty fast, Mulder thought to himself.  
Agent Tom Colton came in and handed Mulder his latest 302 forms 
assigning his next case.  The fact Colton had delivered it, instead of a 
Bureau secretary did not bode well for either of them.  The fact they had 
been in the VCS for almost a year and had not had the pleasure of 
working with one another had also been a minor miracle.  
  
The case had been assigned for someone from the I.S.U., Mulder,  to 
join Agent Colton and his partner Agent Kisper in assisting their 
'suicide pact' case that had originated in Philadelphia.     
  
Luckily, he wouldn't have to travel to Philadelphia with them.  He 
would have their case notes, photos, and other evidence at his disposal 
in order to do the profile.  Mulder finally found a reason for liking the 
budget cuts.  
  
Colton had grumbled to Hastings about his pick of profilers, of course, 
but Mulder's track record would outweigh any concerns Colton could 
raise.  Feeling as if he should set a precedent, Mulder would not allow 
Colton's past actions to interfere with the case.  Young, impressionable 
teens were dying due to some sick cultist religion.  
  
  
*************  


Annapolis, Maryland
Thursday, February 10

  
  
Thursday night found Mulder staring at Scully's laptop trying to find 
the adequate words to finish his profile.  The details weren't very 
convoluted and if anything they were a little ordinary.  Scully was 
reading a book when the telephone rang.  
  
"Hello?......... Yes, Agent Colton, Mulder is here.  Hold on a second."  
  
Mulder looked up to see a smirking Scully hold out the phone towards 
him with an evil smile lurking on her face.  In a pronounced voice she 
drew out, "Honey, it's Agent Colton on the phone......."  
  
In his own prominent voice he replied, "Yes DEAR, I'll be right there."  
  
Taking the phone from her, he leaned down to whisper in her ear.  "You 
are a wicked woman."  
  
She leaned up to kiss him, "Give him my warmest personal regards, 
Agent Mulder."  She fought her own fit of amusement as Mulder shook 
his head walking away back to the desk.  
  
"Yes, Colton.................Yes, it will be faxed to you in the morning 
first thing.......Uh-hmm.........yep.............that's right.............it'll be a 
road map for you, I promise.    Goodnight Colton."  
  
Sinking down into his chair, "I'm going to kill that man if he questions 
my techniques anymore."  
  
"You mean 'Tommy-boy' is worried you're going to solve his case again 
for him?"  
  
Sighing, "Something like that..."  
  
Just as Mulder had choked out his last thought the phone rang again.  
Rolling his eyes at the thought of Colton asking him yet another stupid 
question he answered it, "Mulder."  
  
The caller simply informed Mulder to be sure to check out the next 
mornings paper. The mysterious caller had told him, "It would be of 
interest to you and your work."  
  
Scully immediately detected the detached look on Mulder's face as she 
realized it was someone with possibly bad news.   Mulder hung up the 
phone.  

Looking at Scully who was, by now, studying him, "It looks like 
tomorrow's paper will begin the rat-race."  
  
"You have another admirer, I'm not aware of?"  
  
"Some messenger telling me not to miss the paper tomorrow."  
  
Her eyes widened, "You think Rogers is trying to give you a heads up?"  
  
"Maybe, I don't know...... and to be honest I don't much care."  Mulder 
closed the laptop and made his way to the couch.  Pulling her feet into 
his lap, "The only thing I care about right now is you."   She smiled 
confidently as he massaged her feet, relaxing the knots out of them after 
a long day in the autopsy bay.  
  
After awhile of massage, Mulder felt her squirming and pulled her into 
his lap where he brought her small, but full lips to his, licking his way 
past her tongue to find her warmth.  They spent the better part of the 
twenty minutes necking and groping like a couple of teenagers on a first 
date.    
  
The passions of all those years pent up in unresolved tension could 
easily spill over into the most innocent of actions.  When they took their 
love into the realm of the physical, they had finally joined it with their 
spiritual and emotional bond. 

Making up for lost time had soon become their favorite pastime.   
  
Mulder moved his hand under her knit-sweater along her back and 
began to feel for the clasp that he had familiarized himself with over the 
past few months with great frequency.  Finding his destination, his 
fingers quickly pushed the pieces together to release the stress 
produced by the material hugging her small frame.    
  
Scully, at the moment, was working her way down past his jawline to 
imbed herself along his neck, enjoying the stubble which would be gone 
by tomorrow morning's shower.  The rough texture of his skin produced 
a friction into which desire soon boiled into wanton lust.   Scully was 
not an experienced lover, by any means.  Her experiences had been 
somewhat limited due to her occupation and lifestyle.  However, this 
didn't mean she hadn't experienced what was needed to over the years.   
One might say they were perfecting their techniques on one another, 
with encouraging results.  
  
Pulling her leg around to straddle his lap, Scully began to move her 
hands along the inside of his T-shirt, slowly exposing his chest to her 
actions.  Wasting no time, Mulder started to unbutton her sweater at 
the v-shape where it dipped between her breasts.    
  
Taking off her top was always the grand prize for Mulder.  Her small 
frame hid the fact that she was proportioned well for her size.  He 
slid her arms out of he button-down sweater she was so fond of 
wearing, careful not to take the bra with it just yet.    
  
Scully had known from the early beginnings of their partnership about 
Mulder's preoccupation with the female body, due mostly to the 
collection of tapes and magazines she had spied every once in a while at 
his apartment and on occasion at the office.  The fact he always took 
such a delight in unveiling her body fascinated her to no end.  He had   
seen every possible type, size and shape of woman imaginable.  Why 
did he take such reverence with her?  
  
"Mmmulder," she worked out between  kisses to his cheek.  

He leaned into nibble at her earlobe,  "Yeahhh?"  
  
"Why do you always take so long to take my top off?"  
  
Surprised at this particular moment in time when she thought to ask this 
question was beyond all cognizant thought for him. "Huhh?"  
  
Continuing her own assault against the side of his face and neck, "I've 
just always been curious why your actions are so .................deliberate."  
  
'Leave it to Scully to analyze everything', he humorously thought.  
"Well, I don't much think about it.  Would you like me to rip it off?"  
  
Licking at his ear lobe, "No, I'm just curious."  
  
He pulled her head from his neck and held her eyes for a minute.  "You 
have no idea, do you?"  
  
Perplexed, "What.....what are you talking about?"  
  
Smiling into a warm kiss, "You have no idea how beautiful a woman 
you are?"  
  
Blushing slightly from his compliment, "I'm okay, I guess.  I think I'm 
pretty.... in a way."  
  
Stunning Mulder into disbelief he shook his head slowly at her.  Pulling 
the straps, that were already loosened by his earlier efforts, he slid the 
bra down over her breasts and through her arms.  He started his hands 
at the base of her neck and worked them slowly down over her chest, 
molding her breasts to his hands.  "Dana, you're a hell of a lot more than 
'okay'"  
  
Continuing to massage the nipples with his thumbs, "In fact, I dare say 
you're ....mmm....perfect. "    
  
The seriousness on his face told her his words were not without 
meaning and belief.  Tugging his shirt off, she mimicked his hands on 
his chest now.  She leaned forward and took one of his nipples in her 
mouth, leaving her bottom perched on the end of his knees.  Due to   
their size discrepancy, she sometimes felt as though she were making 
love to a small jungle gym.  His strength could support her in most 
unusual positions such as the one she was in now.  
  
He reached around to support her bottom and pull her pelvis in towards 
his own hips.  Her bottom was well rounded and defined the strength of 
her well toned legs.  They might not have been as long as other 
women's, but their shapely contours spoke of the condition she 
maintained since early in their partnership.  His hands could almost hold 
a cheek in the palm of each hand allowing him to feel the muscles 
contract as she used her strong legs in their love-making efforts.     
  
Mulder felt her rise up off of him.  With a questioning look, she said all 
he wanted to hear.  "Pants, Mulder."  
  
The fact she was pro-active in leading their sessions constantly 
aroused Mulder to no end, himself.  She was never imperious, but she 
would take charge of the situation and lead their dance with precision 
for each other's satisfaction.  With one quick move she stood up and 
pulled down her pleated slacks, underwear and all.  
  
Mulder was too busy, thumbing his boxers off to notice the lacy panties 
as they dropped to the floor.  In another instant his underwear was on 
the floor and she had resumed the position on his lap.    
  
Their love-making was at times slow and methodical, but other times 
such as this they were passionate and bordered on chaotic.   Mulder ran 
his hands down her small back to rest them in his favorite position, just 
above the swell of her buttocks.  
  
Losing himself in her mouth with the full, rose-bud perfect lips was 
always a distraction of pleasure sometimes able to divert the agenda 
from their mutual goal.  

Moving to the corner of her mouth, "You will never know how 
gorgeous you are, Dana."  
  
Leaning back into the cushions, allowing better access, he sought out 
her eyes for the consent that she was ready.   Palming her bottom to 
steady her descent, she immersed herself on him letting out a gasp of 
breath that spoke of pleasure and gratification for the primal release that 
was soon to follow.    
  
Following her lead, Mulder pushed his hips into hers in synchrony that 
would lead to their collective orgasm within minutes of their initiation 
into one another.  Mulder had to practice at withholding his own delight 
in deference to Scully who liked to take her time in building the 
anticipation for the inevitable surrender to her body's physical release.  
  
Making love was a source of great pleasure for these two after so long 
in waiting.  It would forever be etched upon their souls as the joining of 
two people who meant so much to each other.  It would never be 
furious or hurried.  At their age, savoring their delights were preeminent 
to the objective.  
  
Holding her bottom, Mulder could sense her lower body's loss of 
control and let her slide down one last time before emptying himself in 
pleasure as she found her release.  Involuntarily thrusting into one 
anothers hips, their bodies performed an ancient dance that would 
evolve the acts of love into acts of procreation by design.  
  
Warm and soft, Scully fell towards Mulder and collapsed onto his chest 
as it heaved with its owner in trying to provide enough oxygen to the 
bloodstream to sufficiently calm his body.  This was always the best 
part.  As intimate as they could ever be, the  influence of the passion 
they could share would always pale in comparison to the moments they 
spent truly loving each other after their bodies had the physical release.  
This time was always about their hearts and minds melding into a single 
thought for each other.  Love.  Unconditional in its purest form.  
Holding one another, while still physically joined, cemented their bond a 
little more each time.     
  
The night slipped away into a new day.  
  
  
*************  
  
Friday morning arrived with dreadful suspense as Mulder remembered 
his "message" from the anonymous caller the night before.  Slipping out 
of bed, he hurried to the front door to retrieve the paper.   Taking it to 
the kitchen table, he removed the rubber band and spread it out to do a 
quick search.  Unfortunately, it didn't take long to discover the piece the   
"messenger' had wanted him to notice.  
  
It was a column on the far left hand side of the front page.  About 
halfway down in a modest sized type face, he read the title again.  
"Presidential Candidate Rogers Time at the State Department: An In-
Depth Examination."   As Mulder continued to read, he discovered this 
column would be a recurring article that would not only involve Rogers,   
but the other candidates and their previous work backgrounds.  

'Oh great, a ticking bomb that could go off any day, just what I need,'  
Mulder thought to himself.  
  
By this time, Scully was looking around his shoulder reading the article 
as well with one arm wrapped around his waist.  "Was there any 
mention of your father?"  
  
Exhaling, "No, not this time, but if what Rogers says is true, it probably 
won't be long."  
  
Scully pulled his other arm around to envelope herself with his arms.  
Staring up into his eyes, she smiled softly.  "Last night was incredible 
Mr. Mulder."  
  
Mulder peered back down into her azure colored gleam, he brought his 
hand to her cheek pushing away a few loose strands of her coppery 
locks.  "Yes it was, beautiful."  
  
Pulling her into his arms firmly he held her for several more minutes 
savoring this woman without he would be surely dead or alone.  

'Which one was worse', he wondered.  
  
"Mulder, make sure you fax that profile to Colton, you don't want to get 
an official complaint for being a minute too late."  
  
"Yes, Mommm."  Scully glared at Mulder in jest for the off-handed term 
of affection that he used whenever she started to mother him.  

"You're at Quantico today, right Scully?"  
  
"Yep, just another boring day with the stiffs."  She looked a little bleak 
at the thought.  
  
Amorous thoughts of the night before coupled with the date printed just 
above the morning paper's headline gave Mulder something to think 
about.  The significance of the upcoming Monday was firmly etched into 
Mulder's mind.  It had been, at least for a few years since.......


*************

Basement of the Hoover Building
The X-files office
February 14, 1998
4:56 PM


Unbearable.  Simply, utterly, completely unbearable.  Mulder leaned 
back on the well worn chair behind his desk in the perpetual clutter he 
called home.  Well, maybe not home, but it was almost an equivalent to 
him.

How many nights had he spent here reading into absurdity all the files he 
could get his hands on considered unsolvable, unwanted?  Too many he 
would later admit.  However, today, as he always did this particular day, 
he planned on staying a little later than usual.  

It had been a Valentine's day twenty-four years ago that the first 
memories of his sister's abduction had begun to take shape.  He hadn't 
known how or why, but he always heard the voice that told him she 
would return to him safely.  It was that same Valentine's day two and a 
half months later, after she was gone, that a twelve year old Fox 
Mulder cried for the first time.  The first of many times he would cry for 
his sister.

Since seeing her again in some greasy spoon diner almost four months 
earlier, he hadn't heard a word from her.  A promise to think about 
seeing him a second time, to reconnect, was never to be kept and his 
heart broke again.  Valentine's day had always been theirs.   Since she 
had first learned to write the name "Fox," Samantha wrote it 
everywhere, always so proud of her big brother.  

Most memorable, on the first Valentine's day card she ever made.

Sure, he had spent a few of these days in the past with a girlfriend or 
two, but this day would always belong to him and his sister.  Confident 
in the knowledge that one day they would be reunited.  Him and his first 
Valentine.  

This particular day truly had been unbearable.  Since her stay of 
execution, Mulder and Scully had grown closer than ever in their  
almost six years together.  

Looking down inside his desk drawer, Mulder looked at the boxes 
again.

What had driven him into this silly act of thoughtlessness he would 
never know.  Looking at the time, he just wished he had never even 
stopped at the store in the first place.  His new twist to his little tradition 
hadn't gone anything like he'd planned.

`Why now,' he had asked himself earlier.  The fact they never seemed to 
have a social life was always most apparent on this day.  He and Scully  
always had an unspoken agreement to spend Valentine's day, wherever 
they might be, apart.  

This year, notably.

The celebration of remission had soon fallen by the wayside with the 
discovery and death of Emily, only a few weeks after learning she would 
never have kids of her own.  The time had been horrendous on both of 
them.  Scully, however, was dealing with it as she did with all things of 
a personal nature.  

Privately.  

Withdrawn. 
 
Throwing herself into their work as the words of anger, fury and pain 
would be subjugated so far deep inside, no one would ever know.  

Ever suspect.

Except Mulder.

He cursed that stupid courier from the mailroom who had delivered 
some roses to the wrong office this morning, just before lunch time.  
With all the events of the past few months, Mulder had easily forgotten 
the events of the past year.

`Fuck you, Pendrell.   Why did you have to go and die on her too?  Why 
does everyone she comes into contact with because of me have to die?'

The look of Scully's face contorting in delight at the sight of a 
prospective gift suddenly shattered with painful memories that almost 
made Mulder sick to his stomach also. 

A repeat performance from Pendrell wouldn't be coming this year.

Nothing special, just a simple vase with half a dozen roses or so that 
Pendrell had screwed up the courage to send her for the previous 
Valentine's day flashed through both their minds at that same moment.

Pendrell's nervous and sweaty palms had walked right up to an 
oblivious Mulder in the hallway the week before and asked him if it 
would be okay for him to send her a small bouquet.

Mulder remembered his amusement at Pendrell's notion that he needed 
to grant him some sort of permission to do so.  Mulder had even 
suggested the florist and arrangement.  

`Don't go overboard, Pendrell.  She doesn't go for the flashy type.  
Something simple will do."

Pendrell regained his normal breathing pattern and scattered away, 
happy that Mulder didn't have a problem with him giving his partner a 
Valentine's day present.

Two weeks later, Pendrell was buried in Arlington National Cemetery.  

The courier, realizing his mistaken route to the bottom floor, had 
excused himself and with it, the last of Scully's emotional reserves.  The 
memories of cancer, Emily, and Pendrell's amusing gift of flowers the 
year before broke her.

Since that moment of painful clarity, Mulder had remained in his seat all 
afternoon, content to give her space, knowing she wouldn't accept his 
comfort.

A few minutes after five o'clock, the door opened slowly to reveal 
Scully reassembled as normal, ready to call it a day.  After fleeing the 
office just before lunch time, she had busied herself in the lab doing 
whatever she could find for the balance of the day.  

It was apparent to him that his presence was just as damning as those 
mistaken flowers the courier hadn't delivered to her.
 
"Hey,  Mulder.  I'm going to call it a day.  I'll see you tomorrow."

Since her entry, Mulder watched as she glossed over to the coat rack 
and plucked hers from the lower rung, busily avoiding eye contact the 
whole time.

"Yeah, um...Scully... I wanted to..."

The office door closed shut before he could speak his final words.  The 
faint sound of her shoes clicking on the linoleum floored echoed through 
him as they disappeared into the distance.

Mulder slowly slid open his desk drawer again.  

Looking down at the contents, he picked the two heart-shaped boxes 
up, studying them for a moment longer.

"Maybe next year, Sam."  He whispered to himself in the empty office. 

After picking up his coat, Mulder closed the office door and turned the 
key, locking it up until his reappearance a scant fifteen hours from the 
moment.

The night-shift maid strolling by with her cart caused Mulder to take 
notice.

"Here.... happy Valentine's day, ma'am."  He handed her one of the 
boxes.

The older lady looked up to the tall agent she had never had the 
pleasure to clean up after, eyes wide with surprise.  

Instead of acknowledging her thank you, the agent walked towards the 
stairs with his shoulders slumped.

Mabel Jennings, a custodian for the J. Edgar Hoover building for the 
past seventeen years looked down to her hands to see the box of 
Valentine's day chocolates that hadn't made it to its rightful owner 
who's name was written in cursive.  

`Scully.' 

 



*************

Present Day
Monday, February 14  
  
  
Mulder made sure to wake up a little earlier than usual.  Her present had 
been sitting in his car since Friday afternoon.  He needed to run a few 
more errands before he could give it to her that night.  Rolling over he 
gently woke her and murmured into her ear.  "Be back in a while, gonna 
go for a run."  He heard her mumble out something along the lines   
of  a "be back soon," and was out the door.  
  
His white lie wasn't completely wrong.  He made sure he ran to and 
from the car that would take him to florist shop down the block that had 
opened early for their biggest day of the year. 
  
As he slipped back into bed, he heard the purring sound of her snore 
that made him smile again.  He had a single rose pressed into her nose 
laying, ironically, he thought against her lips.  
  
Scully started at the sweet smell of the flower and quickly opened her 
eyes to see Mulder perched above her with a heinous smile on his own 
lips.  
  
"Happy Valentine's day."  Scully released a small frown as she suddenly   
remembered she had completely forgotten about it, "Will you be mine?"  

Thoughts of her early childhood days of making separate cards for 
everyone she could think of with that sentiment filled her with warm 
thoughts.  
  
"Always, Mulder. Always."  
  
Mulder left her to get ready for work while he made breakfast.  After he 
had showered earlier, he had set about leaving roses all over the house.  
One along the side of the bath tub, one in the medicine cabinet, another 
one in her bureau drawer.  He even penned a note to one on his favorite 
red business suits she wore on rare occasion.  It read:  "Wear me 
today!"  
  
Most of the colors of her suits were conservative to reflect the 
business atmosphere of the environment she was expected to work in.   
Beige here, a blue one there.  Usually dark and lifeless.   A few years 
back though, she had bought this red one.  It was a deeper red   
that reflected well against her hair.  She would usually wear it 
once in a while to spice up her confidence and this suit would definitely 
have her feeling feminine after a day at the Bureau.  The looks she got  
almost bordered on harassment.  Poor Pendrell had dropped his coffee 
after seeing her walk into the lab one day.   She laughed at the   
memory of Mulder seeing her in it the first time also.  She couldn't recall 
the smart remark he made, just the look in his eyes.  She knew then red 
was definitely his favorite color.  
  
Donning her blouse to wear under it, she put the skirt on deciding 
against the pair of creme white hose that would definitely push the 
envelope of  'business-professional' attire.  The skirt hung a few inches 
below her knees, unlike most of her other suits.  The extra material 
would drive Mulder crazy.  Still, it was Valentine's day and she   
wouldn't be the only one in the Hoover building wearing red.  
  
She applied a smattering of make-up and perfume. Brushing her just 
above shoulder-length hair behind her ears to complete the effect, she 
exited the bedroom to find Mulder watching the news munching on 
some toast.  
  
She stood before him taking the toast from his now still hand as he 
could only gawk at the heavenly sight before him.  Taking a bite as if it 
were any other day, she returned it to his hand and walked to the 
kitchen.  Finding another rose sitting next to the orange juice pitcher, 
she wondered how many she would find over the next few days.  
  
Mulder rejoined her at the kitchen sink as she swallowed the last of her 
breakfast, before returning the glass to the dishwasher.   Not wasting 
another second, he pulled her lips to his and swept her front teeth 
soaking up the taste of her mouth.  His intensity startled her at first, but 
soon found herself returning it with her own fervor.  
  
Pulling back to check her watch, "Mmmmm.....tonight, I promise.  
We'll be late if we don't move it."  
  
He released her and retrieved her long black trench-coat.  Helping her 
find the armholes and resting it firmly along her shoulders, Mulder 
couldn't resist.  "Scully, can you do me a favor?"  
  
Mulder stepped around, pulling the coat lapels together and tightly 
cinching the front strap as she replied, "Sure, what is it?"  
  
As serious as he could marshal, "Don't take this coat off today.  You 
might cause a serious traffic accident."  
  
Laughing as she hadn't laughed in quite some time, "It will be on your 
hands then.  As I recall you're the one who wanted me to wear this."  
  
Grinning from ear to ear, Mulder produced yet another rose from his 
own trench-coat pocket and handed it to her.  "I thought you might 
want one for your desk at work."  
  
  
************  
  
  
The VCS was indeed unusually red this day.  She was somehow 
shocked to see all the horribly chosen red neck-ties that most of the 
men seemed to wear. 
  
She was also thankful for Mulder's discretion at his display of 
Valentine's day merriment.  The huge bouquets of roses and balloons 
that seemed to dot the landscape of desks all around the building was a 
little sickening as she studied her one single rose, thinking that less 
sometimes meant more.  


*************

Annapolis, Maryland
9:16 PM

  
They arrived back at Scully's  that night after a romantic dinner at 
restaurant tucked away in Georgetown.  After walking down to the pub 
area that Georgetown was famous for, they returned a little later than 
usual.  
  
Making her way to the bedroom, Mulder followed her silently as she 
discovered the brightly wrapped box resting on the bed.  She looked 
around to see the innocent, un-knowing look on Mulder's face.  
  
As she turned to pick up the box, she looked back to Mulder and 
sorrowfully looked into his eyes.  

"What?  What's wrong Scully?"  
  
Slumping onto the bed, she looked up into his worried expression.  "I 
just forgot all about today.  When you woke me this morning I couldn't 
believe I had totally forgotten. I didn't get you anything."  
  
Chuckling softly, "Dana,  YOU are my Valentine.  Besides, what's in the 
box is as much for me as it is for you."  
  
Her eyes widened at the thought of Mulder walking into Victoria's 
Secret to buy her lingerie.  "Mulder!"  
  
"Shutup and open it already!"  
  
Biting her bottom lip to prevent her laughing at her thoughts about him 
trying to make his way around a lingerie store, she ripped the red and 
white paper off the box.  It was actually a little heavier than she 
expected.  
  
Sure enough, as she took off the top of the box, the tissue paper was 
waiting, with one major difference.  The tissue paper itself was 
surrounded by literally hundreds of rose petals that overwhelmed her 
olfactory senses.  "Mulder..?"  

All she got out of him was a dry, "Keep going, G-woman."  
  
She pulled back the tissue paper to see what it was protecting.  As a few 
petals fell onto the bed she gasped in surprise at her gift.  With an 
open-mouthed smile she looked back up to Mulder in astonishment.  
  
Inside the box rested a pair of deep red, silk pajamas, similar to the 
purple ones she wore to bed every night, trimmed in white around the 
collar.  "Where did you ever find ......"  
  
Kissing her, "I hope you like them.  Purple and blue are nice, but red 
seems to suit you."  He said as he ran his fingers through her hair.  
  
Scully disappeared into the bathroom and after a minute or so returned 
clad in the cool silk that defied its perceived color.  "Oh,  they're 
perfect."  She said as she looked at herself in the full-length mirror 
attached to the wall, next to the bathroom.  
  
Mulder walked up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders, 
feeling the texture of her through the silk.   "I had no idea how hard it 
would to find these in a size two until I started looking."

Mulder dipped his head, burrowing his nose into the crook of her neck, 
soaking up the clean, perfumed scent of Scully.

Enjoying the closeness of Mulder, her mind drifted to past Valentine's, 
wondering if there had ever been a better one.  Scully swayed with him 
back and forth in a slow, seductive dance to music they could only hear.

Reassuring herself that this was indeed the most memorable one, her 
mind journeyed back to another Valentine's day that she could only 
speculate about until now.

Standing in front of the mirror, she caught his eyes for a second.  "How 
come you never gave me that box of chocolates, Mulder?"

Mulder stopped abruptly, caught by her words.

Lying through his cursed photographic memory, "What are you talking 
about?"

"I'm talking about the box I found in your desk several years ago on a 
certain Valentine's day that had my name on it."

"Oh... uh.... they were...uhh..."  Changing his tone immediately,  "How 
did you find out about those?"

"You left the office that morning for some meeting with Skinner and I 
went looking for a paperclip ..... and there it was."

Resting his chin on her shoulder, Mulder pulled her a little closer as he 
leaned down unable to look at her in the mirror.  "I .... I guess you can 
say I chickened out.  It just didn't seem right at the time."

"You were that afraid?"

Typical for Mulder, his lack of response said it all.

"What were you so afraid of Mulder?  I would have liked them.  Hell, I 
did like them.  I waited all morning for you to reach out to me..... and 
then when those roses came....it was just..."  

There was a pain in her voice again.  Maybe that's why she forgot this 
year. Maybe she didn't want to remember.   Making a bad situation 
worse was Mulder's personal gift to the world it seemed.  

"I was afraid you were......  Pendrell had given you flowers the year 
before ..... and then he was .....it just didn't seem to be the right time."

"You were afraid I would reject them.... reject you," she stated without 
question.  

Scully turned around and put her head on his shoulder, realizing she had 
hit the target a little too close.  

"Yeah, I guess.  Maybe that's when I knew .... started to know...."

They stood there for a long time, soaking up the comfortable feeling of 
each other without words.    Every few minutes one or the other would 
clutch at the embrace, reaffirming the grip on each other, communing 
together in their thoughts of foolish days and wasted time.

Finding the words from deep within, Scully reached back into their 
history to mend another crack in his heart.  

"Mulder, I know back then it never seemed to be the right time, but no 
matter what, I was always your friend...... always your partner... always 
more than we both knew."

  
  
*************  
  
  
An exhausting night of pleasure behind them, Mulder woke up with his 
silk-clad beauty, slightly worse for wear, wrapped securely in his arms.
  
Scully turned over to rest on him chest to chest.  "Morning, sleepy 
head."  
  
"This is nice.  No worries, no problems.  Just you, me and some silk 
pajamas..."  
  
A loud yawn overtook his thoughts at that moment.  "Just wait Scully, 
your birthday is only a week away."  
  
Rolling her eyes in disgust, "Ughh... don't you dare say another word."  
  
  
  
  
[Encounters]  
  
  
  
Thursday, February 17  
Greenwich, Connecticut  
6:45 AM  
  
  
A phone ringing off in the distance crept into the dreams of Teena 
Mulder this  morning.  Adrift in a vision she would never remember, the 
only thought of being, her life was now a distant sounding ring of the 
phone.   Phones had long since stopped ringing in her life.  An ex-
husband now dead, a son who was caught up in his own life, and a 
daughter she hadn't seen since 1973.  
  
Startled, she turned over to reach for the phone.  Stumbling over her 
night stand, her hand found a receiver which she couldn't remember 
using in quite a while.  At least not in her bedroom.  
  
"H-Hello?"  
  
A few seconds of silence.  
  
"Hello? Is anyone there?"  
  
"Mrs. Mulder," came from the earpiece in deep, grainy voice.  
  
"Yes, can I help you?"  
  
"You can help yourself.  You have the key."  The phone on the other 
end emitted a small beep similar to one found on a cellular phone, and 
her end went dead.  
  
The ambiguous message for her was not identified.  She had no idea of 
any key or any place to use one.  Bill Mulder, her ex-husband, was 
familiar with such games of cloak and dagger.  It didn't interest her at 
all. Feeling the memories creep back into her own mind, she fell back 
down to the pillow, turned over and tried to forget the call, like she   
had done so many other times.  
  

*************

  
Washington D.C.  
Reflecting Pool, Jefferson Memorial  
1:04  PM  
  
Skipping lunch, Mulder and Scully settled for a walk along the mall.   
Sub-consciously making their way to a bench that had seen them many 
times, they enjoyed the mild day.  Crisp and clear, the sky echoed a blue 
that shone brightly in Scully's eyes.   
  
"So Mulder, you wanna tell me what brought us all the way out here?"  
Scully was not angry, just concerned because a long walk such as the 
one they had just endured usually meant something was on his mind.  
  
"Nothing really.  Just thought we could enjoy a beautiful day."  
  
Resting his arm behind her shoulders, Scully shifted to lean her weight 
against his side in comfort remaining silent, enjoying the present.    
  
Watching the scant amount of tourists walk by, they participated in an 
old favorite pastime of humans.  People watching.   A family of four, 
with a decidedly southern accent, were talking and taking pictures of 
the horizon not more than fifteen feet from where  Mulder and Scully 
sat together.  
  
Anywhere the husband pointed the camera, seemed to be an ideal 
picture.  Mulder was sure that if enough film were available, the young 
family man would have taken a shot of every possible direction and 
angle.  His two young children held on tightly to their mom's   
hands and looked at everything in awe.    
  
Nudging Scully to make her watch what was going on, Mulder beamed 
a smile at the little girl who had taken a sudden interest in the tall man 
who sat with a pretty, red-haired lady.   

'Mulder could attract women like flies to a picnic.'  Scully thought.  
  
The young girl, who looked to be about six-years old, unlatched her 
hand from her mother and started towards the couple sitting on the 
bench.  Scully smiled to the little girl with blond hair and an angelic face, 
dressed warmly.    
  
Apprehensively, the little girl approached them, with a shy smile on her 
face as well.   Scully straightened up a little to fully see the girl standing 
directly in front of Mulder.  She was captivated with his face and the 
way his hair fell to the side of his forehead, not wanting to stay put 
while a breeze swept by.  
  
Mulder offered a small, "Hello."  
  
The girl looked around for a minute before replying in an incredibly light 
and delicate voice.  "Hi."  
  
"Having a good time?"  
  
The little girl relaxed a little with Mulder's openness to talk.  "Uhh-
huhhh...."  
  
Scully was immediately enchanted with this adorable little girl, bringing 
back fresh memories of another little blond girl that she would never see 
again.  This time, though the memories were good ones.  Standing by 
the curb, holding Emily's hand, waiting for the social worker.  
  
"Sweetie, is that your family?"  
  
The little girl looked back over her shoulder, "Yep, we're on 'vee-
cation.'"   At that moment, her brother, a strapping young boy arrived to 
investigate what his sister was doing.  He looked a little older, maybe 
eight or nine, with the same color  hair.  The boy looked at Scully, 
"We're going to see the Prez-dent!"    
  
Mulder, who was still leaning back with his arm around Scully forgot 
that his coat jacket was openly draped, revealing his holster.  It didn't 
take the boy long to see it.  A rather large Smith & Wesson 1096, semi-
automatic that shot .9mm rounds, gleamed in the boys eyes.  
  
"Hey, Daddy! Daddy!"  The young couple were already making their 
way to retrieve their children who were disturbing the strangers on the 
bench.  
  
The boy's father picked up his stride at the sound of his first born 
yelling for him.  Mulder hadn't picked up on what the boy was yelling 
for, while the little girl just stood there transfixed on Scully and her fiery 
red hair.  
  
"Yeah, son.  What's wrong?"  
  
"Daddy, look!  He has a gun!"   Usually, the sound of his son pointing 
something out like on a stranger would have alarmed the father, but 
noticing the business-suit on Mulder, he didn't seem as distressed as he 
thought he should be.  
  
Immediately, by habit, Mulder reached for his identification and badge 
to explain the presence of his weapon.  Pulling his coat closed and 
displaying his badge, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare your little boy.  I'm 
Agent Mulder, FBI.   This is my partner, Agent Scully."   Mulder 
offered his hand and the father shook it firmly.  

"Look Tommy, a real FBI agent!  I told you we would see them here."   
The little boy's eyes lit up in recognition of the term 'FBI' and looked at  
Mulder in wonderment.  
  
Scully looked up to see the young couple sighing in relief, smiled, then 
returned her attention to their daughter. Out of habit of hearing Mulder 
refer to her as her partner, she didn't even notice Mulder's mistake.  The 
little girl boldly reached out to touch Scully's hair.  Mulder smiled, while  
the mother knelt down to reclaim her daughter.
     
"Sweetheart, it's not polite to touch people's hair, especially someone 
you don't know."  
  
Scully stopped the girl from removing her hand. "It's all right, I don't 
mind."  The little girl touched it like it would burn her hand, pleasantly 
surprised that it didn't.  Scully mimicked the girls action, caressing her 
long blond hair as it fell down her back.  
  
The father was slightly embarrassed at their 'hick' like appearance to the 
two agents who were obviously on a break.  "Sorry to disturb you folks, 
we'll leave you alone.  Come along Emma, Tommy."    
  
Scully frowned, "You're not disturbing us."  
  
Tommy, who was now just as infatuated with Scully as his sister was, 
looked her over. "Are you an eff bee eye`gent also?"  
  
Producing her own badge, Scully held it up for his inspection.  "Look 
Daddy, it says she's a doctor.  I didn't know doctors worked for the 
FBI. Do you have a gun also?"  
  
Surprised by the little boy's innocent implication.  "I sure do."     
  
The little boy persisted, "I don't see one.  Where is it?"   This got him a 
slight reprimand from his father.  "Tommy!"  
  
Scully smiled and stood up.  Turning around to face Mulder, she lifted 
her suit jacket coat to show the boy her holstered weapon at the small 
of her back, keeping her hand on it to make sure 'Tommy' wouldn't 
reach for it.  "You see, we all have them."  
  
"Wow, that is so cool," was the response from him, as she straightened 
her jacket and sat back down next to Emma, who had joined Mulder on 
the bench.  
  
Mulder looked back up to the parents, "You folks doing a little 
sightseeing?"  
  
The mother responded, "Yes sir, were on vacation and wanted to bring 
the children to see Washington.  They were so excited about studying it 
in school, we thought they would like to see it first hand."  
  
Several more  minutes of polite conversation and a few suggestions 
from Scully on what to see and do in the D.C. area, the Owens family 
said their good-byes and headed back down the Mall towards the 
White House.  
  
"What a nice looking family," Scully offered to Mulder.    
  
"Yeah, they are....."  
  
Several blocks of walking later, in comfortable silence, Mulder put his 
arm around Scully as she began to talk. "She reminded me of Emily.  
Big blue eyes, blond hair."  
  
Mulder stared at Scully for a second taking in her features before she 
started to wonder what was on his mind. "What?"  
  
"It's just the first time I can remember seeing you smile when talking 
about Emily, that's all.   Feels good doesn't it?"  
  
Noticing what he was say was true, she smiled back up to him.  
  
  
*************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland
9:25  PM

  
Focusing on the new issue of the latest edition of The Lone Gunmen, 
Mulder sat back wordlessly as Scully sipped her coffee at her desk, 
while paying her bills.  Another chore for the mundane stricken Special 
Agent that received attention usually one night of the month.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
Tearing his eyes away from the latest ramblings of Byers and his 
stooges, "Yeah?"  
  
"Did you pay you're rent this month?"  
  
"Nope!"  
  
Turning around to focus her attention to Mulder, "You going to become 
a hermit?"  
  
"You don't pay rent when you own your apartment, Scully,"  Mulder 
finished with a slightly embarrassed look.  
  
"Oh."  Pondering this bit of information she had never known, she 
settled onto the sofa next to him.    
  
"You're not kicking me out are you?"  
  
"No..... not yet anyway,"  Scully said with a devious look in her eye.  
  
"What's up then?"  
  
"Well...... don't you think it's about time we started making some plans 
about you moving here or maybe getting a place of our own?"  
  
Slightly confused, "I thought we were going to keep separate places for 
a while.... until things cooled off a bit."  
  
Disenchanted by his response, "Well, you're practically here every night 
and day already...... I just thought.... maybe..."   As she trailed off, 
Scully pushed up off the couch to retreat to her earlier position across 
the living room to her desk.  
  
Before she got too far, Mulder grabbed her wrist and tugged her down 
in to his lap.   "Hey?  What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, I just feel like ........ I never knew you owned that apartment."  
  
Pressing his forehead to hers, "When I graduated from the Academy, I 
found the apartment in Alexandria.  It was available to purchase like a 
.... like a condominium.  Instead of paying rent for who knows how 
long, I paid a little more each month to buy it.   I'm sorry I never told 
you before..... I guess I didn't think it was that important."  
  
"It's not really.  Just some stupid detail I thought I should have known 
about you."  
  
"If there's something you want to know ..... just ask."  
  
After kissing him on the cheek, "There is still one thing I don't know 
that I'm curious about."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I don't know why you haven't asked me to marry you yet."  
  
Genuinely stunned at the question he pulled back to look at Scully. It 
took a few seconds for Mulder's brain to catch up with his heart.  
  
"I guess we've never really talked about it, have we?"  
  
"No, we really haven't talked about our future at all."  
  
"I never thought that was what you wanted........ I guess I never thought 
much about it at all."  
  
Closing her eyes, Scully tried not to show her disappointment.  
Catching the emotions running over her face, Mulder sought to make 
her understand.  
  
"Scully, don't misinterpret my meaning.  I would love to marry you...... I 
just had no idea you would want that..... not this soon anyway."  
  
"Soon?  You call this soon?  Do I have to remind you that the number 
three no longer precedes my age?"  She meant it jokingly trying to cover 
her true feelings.  
  
"Maybe I'm afraid of commitment.  Isn't that what you're trying to say?"  
He returned in her same tone of light banter.  
  
"Possibly, it would make a certain amount of sense in both our cases.....  
I mean we've both lived alone for most of our adult lives now..."  
  
Stating a little harder than he intended, "That doesn't mean I liked it...."  
  
"I didn't say you did... I sure as hell didn't.....," Scully shot back just 
as quickly.
  
Taking a minute longer to collect his thoughts, Mulder quickly tried to 
figure out where this conversation had come from and where it might be 
going.  

Remembering their little visit with the Owens family, Mulder wondered 
if the family she saw was what she wanted.  Desired.
  
"Well...... why don't I take you up on the offer to move in....... and   
we take it from there...."  
  
Scully closed her eyes and nodded in approval, before starting to 
maneuver off his lap.  Feeling that he hadn't quite made himself clear to 
Scully he, again, didn't let her get far before pulling her face around to 
look him squarely in the eye.  
  
"Scully, I'm in this for the long haul.  I want to grow old with you... to 
give your brother hell at family reunions, piss your mom off with crude 
jokes..." focusing his stare on Scully he whispered, ".... maybe raise a 
kid or two...."  
  
Again the focused manner of Mulder let her know he was serious.  This 
look never came lightly nor was it a common expression that Mulder 
used often.  It was the intensity that told her she was indeed the most 
important piece of his life.  After a moment, Scully's eyes, moist from 
the emotions that Mulder could bring to her surface virtually anytime he   
wanted, relayed her smile that came deep from her heart.  Her mouth 
was parted slightly in questioning her own disbelief of his commitment 
to her.  
  
"What will you do about your place Mulder?"  
  
"I could rent it out of course.  Leave the furniture, lease it to some old 
guy who doesn't have much.... doesn't need much.    Who knows.... 
maybe one of the guys would want it."  
  
Caught up in the moment, Scully had failed to realize one potential 
stumbling block.  "Uh -ohhh," she said out loud to herself.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mom."  The tone of voice didn't hide the fact that Margaret Scully 
would not be pleased about Mulder moving in with Scully before 
marriage.  Slightly more devout than Scully, Margaret Scully would 
definitely not approve, even for her middle aged daughter.  
  
"She won't like it, will she?"  
  
"You could say that......  I wonder how long it would take until Father 
McCue found out.   I can see it now.... him showing up on the doorstep 
proclaiming the virtues and sanctity of marriage."  
  
"It's your call Scully.  I know her opinion means a lot to you."
  
"I'll have a talk with her sometime this week."     
  
"You want me to come along?"  
  
After serious deliberation.  "No.... I think I better do this one by 
myself."
   
Fearing she said it too ominously, "But, I may need your backup .... and 
your gun when I tell Bill."  
  
Laughing,  "You see there, Scully... that's the one I wanted to avoid."  
  
After sharing a warm kiss filled with hope for the future, Scully leaned 
back with her arms around his neck eyeing him mischievously.   "Go 
ahead and start making whatever arrangements you need to.  I want you 
in by the end of next week."  
  
"Confident, aren't we Agent Scully?"  
  
"She may be my mother, but she's not my keeper.  She'll live with it.  I'll 
let her know that it was my idea....  What can she do?  Disown me?"  
  
Painfully nodding at her, "Yeah, I've seen it done before."  
  
Conscious of his self reference, "She'll understand..... I'll make her."  
  
  
************  
  
  
Margaret Scully's House  
Baltimore, Maryland  
Wednesday, February 23  
7:16 PM  
  
  
Standing in front of her mother's door, Scully prepared to confront her 
mother about the impending event that she would surely disapprove 
with.  Margaret Scully was fond of Mulder, even calling him by his 
given name despite his request.  She also knew that since last October, 
her daughter and Fox had been seeing each other outside of work, 
pursuing a more personal relationship than they had before.  
  
Feeling almost like a stranger, Scully knocked on the door and entered 
at the same time giving her mother notice she was there.   
  
Coming from the kitchen area, Margaret was busy wiping her hands in 
the bottom of the apron wrapped around her waist.    
  
Freeing her hands she threw her arms around her youngest and only 
surviving daughter. "Happy Birthday, Dana."  
  
"Hey, Mom."  The hugs always seemed to last a tad bit longer every 
time they met.  The parent reliving a home life and a child reliving the 
carefree days of youth where the only thing to worry about was making 
it home for dinner on time.  
  
Pulling back to take in the sight of her successful and very grown up 
daughter, Margaret looked behind Scully for signs of another guest 
coming through the door.  
  
"Where's Fox?"  
  
"Mulder is giving a lecture tonight down at Quantico.  He sends you his 
love and he's sorry he couldn't make it for your pot roast."  
  
Smiling to her daughter as she remembered their last meal with Mulder, 
a few weeks ago.

"So it's just you and me tonight, Dana?"  
  
"Yep, just a night for the girls."  
  
Light conversation over dinner filled the time while Scully waited to 
screw up her courage to proceed in earnest.  Catching up on the latest 
family news and doings, the two women enjoyed a wine over Scully's 
favorite dessert that was made specially for her.    
  
"Charlie's last letter from sea says he should be home by the end of the 
summer.  Tensions in the Gulf kept his ship there a little longer than 
expected, but barring a major incident he should be back by Labor Day."  
  
"Well, we can only pray."  Averting her eyes, Scully pursued another 
topic that was sure to get a response from her mother.  "Does Bill still 
like San Diego or is he ready for another trip to sea?"  
  
Her mother's mood changing at once, Scully braced for the inevitable.  
"You would know if you would ever speak to him.   It's not fair Dana."  
  
The events over the past years had slowly eroded any civility the two 
siblings had towards each other.  Bill's extreme dislike for Mulder, his 
treatment of Dana over her cancer,  the recent Thanksgiving coupled 
with his connection to Mike Jarvis had strained the relationship to the 
point of no return.  
  
Incredulously, "Not fair........... not fair?  To who?"  
  
"To Bill.... he's only been concerned for you... he just wants the best for 
you...."  
  
"No Mom.  He want's only what's best for him.  Ever since Dad died 
and then Melissa he's done nothing but put me and my career down, 
disrespected my wishes and taken every bad thing that has ever 
happened to this family or me and blamed Mulder."  
  
Silence abounded the dining room while Scully caught her breath.  "My 
brother continues to treat me like that eight year old girl who cried at 
the sight of blood from a snake.  I won't allow him to sit there in 
judgment of me and who I associate with."  
  
"He asks about you all the time, Dana...."  
  
Cutting her mother off, Scully had built up another head of steam.  "I'm 
sure he does.  I'm sure the guilt is eating him alive....  because it almost 
ate me up too."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
A smattering of tears filled her eyes upon the horrible memories.  
"Remember the agent that was raped and murdered at the beginning of 
January? Agent Jenny McCraw?  A friend of mine?"  
  
"Yes, I remember seeing Fox's name in the paper that he and a task 
force had captured and arrested the guy who did it."  
  
"Do you know who the suspect was, Mom?"  Scully said with a certain 
amount of undignified tone.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"It was a guy named Mike Jarvis...... ring any bells?"  
  
Scanning her memory for any acquaintance she could think of, "No, 
should it?"  
  
"Yes it should Mom.  It was the same Mike Jarvis that Bill was friends 
with in the Navy.  It was the same Mike Jarvis who Bill set me up with 
on a date with a year or so ago.  It is the same Mike Jarvis that stalked 
me and Agent McCraw..... shooting Mulder in the leg outside his 
apartment......"   By the end of this testimony, Scully's voice had raised a 
notch or two like it always did when she was on the brink of yelling.  
  
Scully's mom sat there with a bewildered expression on her face.  
Unable to think clearly,  putting cognizant thoughts together was almost 
impossible.  "Dana.... I had no idea."  
  
"No you didn't.  Neither did Bill, but his insistent meddling in my life 
almost cost me just that, not to mention Mulder's and the fact it DID 
cost a fellow agent's."  
  
"You can't possibly blame Bill for that.... he would never have.."  
  
Seeing that her mom still didn't get it, Scully took a different approach.  
"I know he would never allow me to be hurt or associate with someone 
like that......but he is the one who constantly takes it upon himself to 
watch over me.... it's not his job.... he's my brother....not my father."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
  
"So you could what?  Get upset?   Try to protect me?  Run to Bill and 
tell him to see what's wrong with his crazy sister?"  
  
"NO.... Never!"  
  
Sighing in frustration at her mother's constant denial, "I know you've 
never consciously used Bill to intrude on my life.... but somewhere 
along the way you lost your faith in me and promoted Bill to the duties 
that you used to delegate to Dad."  
  
Usually one to put up a fight, all Margaret could do was look down to 
her lap as she felt the truth of her daughter's words hit somewhere deep 
in her heart, telling her that Dana was right.  
  
Getting out of her chair, Scully came to kneel beside her mother in order 
to look up into her eyes like she was that young impressionable child all 
those years ago, making her realize that things had changed.  Dana had 
changed, life had changed.  Maybe not always for the better, but in 
accordance to the facts of life.  Sometimes cruel, but often full of hope.  
  
"Mom, I don't need you or Bill trying to protect me.  Not anymore.  I 
have a protector. I am a protector of my own...........and that's what I 
came here to talk to you about tonight."  
  
Seeing the curious look grow in her mother's eyes, Scully set forth with 
her original plan of attack.  

"This conversation was long overdue, Mom.  I know that so much has 
happened to me over the past ten years.  So much we can't change..... 
but there is also much that I wouldn't change."  
  
Remaining in quiet anticipation, Margaret steadied herself for the 
oncoming news that was obviously painful for her daughter to bring up.    
  
"Mom, Mulder and I are going to move in together.  We might get 
married sometime down the road and we want to get started living our 
lives ..... for ourselves as fast as possible."   

Glancing over to the birthday card and present, "We're not getting any 
younger as you know....."  
  
Her mother's eyes had widened at the word 'married.'  Genuinely 
surprised at the developments of her daughter's relationship she waited 
for more.  
  
"I also know that the church frowns on this type of arrangement, but 
what Mulder and I have is special.  It's taken us so long to get this far, 
we want to be careful......make it work."   

Even though she had told her mother the truth, Scully failed to relate 
that her and Mulder had practically already been living together and 
'making it work' for a while now.  
  
Regaining her ability to speak, "Has... has he asked you yet?"  
  
Seeing this as a positive sign, Scully replied with a demure smile.  "Not 
yet.... but he will... it's only a matter of time now.  Who knows?  Maybe, 
I'll ask him.  We've always done things a little off backwards, you 
know?"   

Adding the chuckle to her own admission of them being an odd pair, 
Scully felt a small bit of relief flow through her as her mother   
allowed a light hearted smile as well.    
  
"You do love him don't you?"  
  
Closing her eyes as she sensed her mother coming into understanding.  
"Yes, Mom.  In a way, I always have."  
  
"And he loves you?"  
  
"Yes.  He tells me everyday."  
  
Shaking her head, Margaret Scully had her own flashback.  "If Melissa 
could see you now."  
  
Searching her mother's eyes for the meaning of her last statement, 
Scully asked the question without words.  
  
"Melissa told me one day not long after you were returned that he was 
the one.  The one you would spend the rest of your life with."  
  
Scully's eye's now widened as she realized Melissa had told her mother 
her premonitory vision as well.  
  
A tear streaked down Margaret's face.  "I feared she was right for the 
wrong reasons when you were hospitalized for cancer.  While you lay in 
your bed dying, I feared she was right again."  
  
Embracing her mother fiercely around her waist.  "Trust me when I say   
it's for all the right reasons, Mom.   Dad would be so happy that I found 
someone as caring and loving as he was."  
  
As more tears fell on top of her daughter's head, she held on tightly 
relishing the thoughts of their Ahab and the man who would someday 
become apart of their family.  
  
Taking her daughter's hands into her own, Margaret Scully offered the 
only words that she could think of.  

"Whatever you need to do to be happy..... I think you should do it.  You 
deserve it..... you both do.  I don't agree with it, but I ... I accept it ..... I 
know times have changed since my day."  
  
"Thank you, Mom.  That's all I wanted.. just a little understanding."  
  
"It's conditional though," she said in a determined voice.  
  
"What?"  
  
"On the condition that the next time your brother Bill calls, you won't 
hang up on him so fast.  Don't worry, I'll have a talk with him about 
your plans with Fox."  
  
"What will you tell him?"  
  
Seeking the wisdom of Solomon, "I'll tell him if he wants his sister back 
that he will not only get to know and like Fox, he damn well better love 
him like I do.  He won't be a problem.  I think Tara is about fed up with 
him as well."  
  
  
*************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland
10:12 PM  


A few minutes after ten, the door jiggled a little as Mulder fought 
against the lock to Scully's apartment.   What was soon to become their 
apartment.   Finding the dead bolt secured, he unlocked it and pushed 
his way through trying to hide the flowers behind his back.  
  
Turning around from the couch, Scully looked up over her reading 
glasses perched on the end of her nose.  "Hey, Mulder."  
  
Mulder made his way to her side.  While leaning down to kiss her, he 
produced the arrangement of tulips that looked almost too perfect to be 
real. "Happy Birthday, Scully."  
  
Slightly embarrassed at yet another floral bouquet, she returned the kiss 
and then smelled the flowers.  "So, Mulder.... what's this thing with you 
and flowers?"
  
"You disapprove?"

"No.  It's just that I never pictured you as the hearts and flowers type of 
guy."

Amused, "What type of guy did you have me pegged to be then?"

Thinking for a minute with a made up face, "I don't know.  Maybe a 
pizza and beer toting type?"

Leaning down to smell the fragrant flowers, he winked at her.  "Those 
days are long over."  Catching her lips in a soft kiss, he excused  
himself.  
  
Mulder went to the bedroom to divest himself of his offending 
dresswear which had been with him the better part of fifteen hours.  
Finding his way back to the couch and Scully he took the medical 
journal from her hands and the glasses from her face. 
 
After setting both of them down on the coffee table in front of them, he 
turned her around and pulled her down into him as he sat in the corner.  
  
"No more work, Scully.  This is your birthday, time for you to relax."  
  
Propping her up as she sat with her back to his chest in between his 
legs, Mulder began to ease the tense muscles that had formed there 
over the past few hours, especially after her encounter with her mother.  
  
"How did it go?"  
  
Her eyes closed and enjoying his skilled hands as they worked their 
way around her neck and shoulders, "The results were good, but the 
trip to get there wasn't pretty."  
  
Mulder remained quiet, gently thumbing his way around her shoulder 
blades searching for any sign of tightness.    
  
"We had a talk that has been overdue for a while now.  I think we have 
a better understanding of where we are now."  
  
"The move?"  
  
"She doesn't necessarily agree with it, but she understands.   She even 
offered us her help on Saturday if we need it."  
  
"Hmm?  Maybe she does like me."  
  
"Oh, don't worry about that.  She's  volunteered to talk to Bill for 
us.  She must like you."  
  
Mulder's hands stopped after hearing this.  "You might have missed 
your calling, Scully.  You could have been a lawyer if you could 
convince her to deal with Bill."  
  
"I don't know about that, but we finally said a few things that needed to 
be said.  Oh, and you can keep going if you know what's good for you."  
  
Realizing he had inadvertently stopped massaging her back, he 
continued again where he left off.  "I'm glad to hear that you worked 
things out.  I know how much she means to you, even if you don't 
always see eye to eye."  
  
Releasing a small moan of pleasure as he hit a sensitive spot, "Did you 
talk to the Realtors today?"  
  
"We're all set.  They'll take care of the details and setup the place for 
rental.  They said it shouldn't be too long before someone wants it.  The 
Pentagon is always shuffling people in and out of the area, so it will 
probably find its way into one of their hands."  
  
"They were surprised I didn't want to sell it.  It seems I made quite an 
investment all those years ago."  
    
"What all will be moving here?"  
  
"Not too much more.  Most of my clothes are already here. The 
computer, the stereo, and quite a few books.  We'll have our very own 
library."  
  
"Magazines?"  
  
"Nahhh... I  let the subscriptions run out.  Speaking of which, Frohike's 
going to let borrow his van."  
  
"Make sure that's all you borrow," Scully said with a leering eye.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Saturday, February 27  
Mulder's Apartment  
Alexandria, Virginia  
  
After packing up his remaining belongings that he would take with him 
the night before, they loaded the borrowed van with surprisingly few 
boxes and fit them around the other appliances that would accompany 
the journey.  Traffic was light for a Saturday morning as Mulder and 
Scully looked around one last time at his apartment.  

While the furniture remained, little else to signify anyone had lived there 
did.  The sticky remnants of adhesive tape left over on a window pane 
from an informant long ago was all that reminded him of what his life 
had been.  Standing in the doorway on this bittersweet occasion made 
him pause on one more item.  
  
Seeing the forlorn look in his eyes as he took in the sight of his old 
leather couch one last time, Scully pulled him close by the waist as she 
observed his silent farewell to what was his home and their mutual place 
of refuge during their early years.  
  
Looking down at her, he offered a gentle smile.  
  
"Come on, Mulder.  Let's go home."  
  
The trip north to Annapolis was indeed easy on this weekend morning 
and allowed them to make good time through the beltway.  Pulling up 
to what was now 'their' apartment building, they noticed Margaret 
Scully just getting out of her own car.  
  
Jumping from the van to greet her mother, "Hey, mom."  
  
After a hug, Margaret began tentatively a little out of breath.  "I know 
you said you didn't need any help, but I thought I could make you guys 
lunch while you unpack."  Scully looked curiously at her mother.  This 
attempt to bridge a gap between them was genuine.  
  
By this time, Mulder had made it around the van.  Imperceptibly, he 
now felt a little uncomfortable around Margaret Scully.  He wasn't 
completely sure if it was because she now knew of his intentions 
towards her daughter or the fact they were moving in together despite 
her personal beliefs.  
  
Forgetting any awkward feelings of her own, Margaret pulled Mulder 
into a warm embrace, kissing his cheek.  "Hello, Fox.  So good to see 
you again."  
  
"Mrs. Scully."  
  
Turning back around to find her daughter with an impish look on her 
face, Margaret herself realized it was the first time she had openly 
shown Mulder that range of affection.  "So, you two going to stand 
there all day?"  
  
The moving went quickly as Mulder and Scully alternated between trips 
emptying the van of his possessions.  A dozen or so trips later and it 
was finished.  The only major chore remaining was finding the space to 
put Mulder's things away.  
  
Leaving that task for later, Mulder and Scully joined her mother at the 
kitchen table to have simple lunch.  Although not uncomfortable, a 
sense of awkwardness again pervaded between Mrs. Scully and Mulder 
that he couldn't quite place.  Picking up on this too, Scully eyed her 
mother pleading with her to help the situation, knowing Mulder would 
let it stagnate if given the chance.  
  
Sensing her daughter's encouragement, Margaret broke the silence, 
trying to ease the newfound tension between them.  "Dana, I think I left 
something in the car, could you go get it for me?"  
  
Knowing full well that she hadn't, Scully caught her mother's desire to 
have a moment alone with Mulder.  "Sure........... I'll be back in a few 
minutes."  
  
After the door closed behind her, Mulder could smell the setup.  Spying 
each other out of the corner's of their eyes they started at the same time.  
"Fox, I just wanted...."      
"Whatever you think..."  
  
Amused at their situation, "Fox, I just wanted to be the first one to say 
welcome to the family..... but you've been family for a long time now, 
haven't you?"   The intense look Mrs. Scully bestowed Mulder was one 
full of reassurance.
  
Mulder knew the words were true as his memory trickled back to the 
doctor's office where Margaret and Melissa Scully agonized with him 
over the decision to take Dana off of the breathing ventilator.  
  
"I won't let you down, Mrs. Scully."  
  
Like Scully was so fond of doing, Margaret closed her eyes at hearing 
his answer.  She placed her hand over his, "I know you won't, you never 
have..."  
  
Poking her head back through the door slowly, Scully saw the smiles on 
their faces.  A different air infused between them, she felt it safe to 
venture back.   Before stepping back in fully, Scully took in the sight 
before her.  Seeing him sit at her table with her mother was a revealing 
moment for her.  Even though Mulder had sat there many times, for the   
first time she knew it was now home for both of them.      

*************
  
Later that afternoon, Mulder sat on floor in front of boxes full of books 
searching for a way to cram a few more of his favorites into the already 
bulging shelves of her bookcase.   Scully was busy in the closet 
hanging up the rest of his suits that had never found their way to her 
place, while trying to find a discreet place to hide some of his   
more peculiar neck-ties.    
  
"Hey, Scully?"  
  
Looking around the corner from the walk-in closet door, "Yeah?"  
  
"I'm going to take the rest of these to Goodwill if there's anything here 
you don't want."  
  
"Leave the box out so I can check."  
  
Inspecting her almost finished handiwork with the rest of his casual 
wear, "Anything else we missed?"  
  
"Nope.  Just a little paperwork and were finished.  You didn't have a lot, 
other than clothes, that is."  
  
"Years of the bachelor life doesn't lend itself to accumulation of 
material assets, Scully."  
  
Understanding  and grateful for the fact that there was still some room 
left in the closet, "I stopped by the Post Office and Personnel yesterday 
and picked up some change of address forms.  The landlord will drop 
off the new lease Monday for us to sign and then it will be official."  
  
  
  
  
[Deceptions]  
  


Wednesday, March 14  
Georgetown University Library Parking Lot  
9:58 PM  
  
  
The soft clicking sound of an semi-automatic Ruger P85 MKII being 
cocked belied its inherently dangerous nature.  An older model 
handgun, it was a favorite of Kevin Saunders.  Nothing exotic, nothing 
special.  In fact as most semi-automatic weapons went, it was rather 
generic except for the serial numbers which had been etched away   
into oblivion.  The product of Sturm, Ruger & Company, Inc. of 
Southport, Connecticut  its manufacture date went back several years 
to the early nineteen nineties.  Purchased from a small gun and pawn 
shop on a back country road in Alabama, he had received little   
attention as another proud American utilized his right to bear arms.  
  
Remembering that day long ago, he mused about the changing gun laws 
in the country that now made his favorite gun illegal to buy.  Thanks to 
the Brady bill and others, only people in law enforcement were now able 
to openly buy the high capacity version of the .9mm he loved so much.  
Fully loaded with the fifteen hollow-point rounds compared to 
maximum ten rounds that today's semi-automatics were limited to, 
Kevin Saunders fingered the safety into the white position, un-cocking 
the hammer, lowering it safely down mere millimeters from the firing 
pin.  
  
The cold wind from the feigning late winter, March day blew in from the 
barely noticeable crack that Saunders had left for the smoke from his 
cigarette to escape.  These late night rendezvous with potential clients 
always made him edgy.  Nervous enough to keep his weapon drawn in 
hand, ready for use.  The tint on his Ford Explorer's windows would 
insure his privacy if any campus officers from Public Safety were to 
sneak a peek inside.  
  
Noticing the hour of the agreed meeting time was soon at hand, 
Saunders swept the lot again looking for the telltale signs of headlight 
entering.  As expected and told, a plain looking sedan turned into his 
lane with only the parking lights engaged, stopping short of   
his sport utility vehicle.  From the passenger side, a shorter woman 
with a trench coat a few inches longer than it should be, came his 
contact.    

The woman, he knew.  After trailing her and digging deep into her past, 
he knew more about her than she probably knew about yourself.   Her 
rap sheet was long enough, but not as long as her last name which 
protected her in most circles, but not his.
  
The woman, obviously nervous, approached the passenger side of 
Saunders vehicle and tapped twice.  Unlocking the door and re-cocking 
his Ruger in the same motion, Saunders waited for the petite figure to 
climb in.  
  
After settling in, the woman slowly opened his coat and produced the 
envelope Saunders was waiting for.    
  
"Open it."    
  
The female visitor, slightly puzzled, didn't hesitate to do as told.  Taking 
the oversized brown envelope, he pulled back the flap and held it up for 
Saunder's approval.    
  
Saunder's took his left hand out from his coat to show his visitor that no 
hasty moves should be made if he intended to keep his life.  With his 
right hand, Saunders reached for the contents of the envelope. 
Fingering the bills, he thumbed through the bundle making sure it felt 
right and all importantly the remaining contents were consistent with 
the top two bills.  
  
Hesitantly, the woman dared to speak, with a peculiar accent no less.  
"This is the second installment, as requested."  
  
"I'll be in contact."  
  
Seeking his eyes for permission, the woman made her way out of the 
vehicle and  back to her own ride which sped away as soon as she was 
in.  
  
Saunder's sat back comfortably tucking the ten thousand dollars he had 
just made for accepting his latest assignment safely into his coat 
pocket.  This new client was so far impressive.  After spending 
considerable time investigating his background personally and tailing 
him from time to time, Saunders was convinced it was solid, even 
without the references.  He had followed all his rules, met his 
requirements for credit and had only a small favor to ask in return.  Push 
a few buttons of some guy who wasn't playing ball with some heavy 
hitters.  
  
Never having actually met the subject of his agenda, Saunders had 
heard of him. You weren't much of an intelligence officer for the CIA if 
you hadn't heard of he FBI agent known as 'Spooky.'  Kevin Saunders' 
mentor had told him much about Mulder and how one day he may be  
a valuable resource.  

It was obvious someone else thought so too.
  
  
*************  
  
  
  
Saturday, March 17  
Annapolis, Maryland  
7:46 AM  
  
Jogging along his new neighborhood the past few weeks, Mulder 
discovered that moving in with Scully had more than a few benefits he 
hadn't anticipated.  The area was much friendlier to the morning runner 
with sidewalks and the park down the street.  Following his routine of a 
longer run than normal on the weekends, he spied the basketball courts 
in the park, empty now, but filled my mid-afternoon.    
  
On his way back, Mulder stopped running about a block from home 
giving himself time to cool down and catch his breath.  Re-entering the 
apartment quietly, he didn't want to wake Scully, who liked to sleep in 
on Saturdays.  Hearing the shower being turned off he relaxed and 
started to peel his sweaty clothes off.  Just as he entered the 
bedroom, Scully was coming from the bathroom with a towel over her 
head.  
  
Knowing, she hadn't heard him come in, Mulder snuck up behind her 
and pulled her robed body into his.  "Morning, Scully."  
  
Jumping a bit from the surprise, "Jesus, Mulder.  That better be you or 
you're going to be sorry."  
  
Pulling tighter, "What if it wasn't?"  
  
"I am a doctor remember?.......oh, Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You really smell bad."  
  
 
Down the street...  
8:26 AM  
  

In an unmarked Explorer, Kevin Saunder's listened to the subject of his 
latest assignment through the laser-equipped parabolic microphone as 
he dictated notes into a micro-cassette recorder.  Finding Mulder's new 
address had come with some difficulty,  considering he had just moved 
to Annapolis.  
  
      <<Subject returned from morning jog as usual.  Today he ran a 
little longer - could be a weekend thing.  Confirmed that he is now living 
with his former partner, Dr. Dana Scully.  Search database for her 
records as well.  No real threat of security measures being used, if 
detectable.>>  
  
After listening a few more minutes at idle conversation, Saunders fired 
up the engine of his truck and sped away eager to move on to his next 
location where he would continue noting the daily routine of his next 
subject.  
  
  
**************  
  
9:26 AM  
  
Making his way from the bedroom after changing, Mulder smelled the 
aromatic whiff of fresh caffeine.   Finding Scully engrossed in the 
newspaper, he went about pouring his cup of coffee and stuck a bagel 
in the toaster oven.    
  
Several minutes later, the soft ring of the appliance startled Mulder out 
of his meditation, prompting him to find the cream cheese in the 
refrigerator.  
  
"Oh, Scully.... what am I going to do with you?   Light cream cheese?"  
He wrinkled his nose to her.  
  
Realizing she hadn't said a word since he entered the kitchen, "Scully?  
Everything all right?"  By this time Mulder was looking over her 
shoulder to see what she was so interested in.   Spotting the latest 
installment of the column devoted to Trent Rogers and who he was, 
Mulder pulled it from her grasp and closed it while throwing it in the 
trash.  
  
"Mulder!  I was reading that!"  
  
"Don't do this, Scully..."  
  
"Don't do what?" She said looking completely innocent.  
  
"I'm not going to sit around here and wait for some bomb to be dropped 
about me or my father..... I can't let you do it either."  
  
"There was still no mention...."  
  
"You don't get it do you?  I don't care..... not anymore."  
  
Her jaw set in control of her emotions, "You know, this might affect me 
too."  
  
"And that's exactly why I don't want you reading about ......"  
  
Completely baffled by this latest word of Mulder-wisdom, she waited 
for him to continue.  
  
"If there is something  printed in there, we'll have no idea if it's true or 
not.  The fact remains someone will be trying to use my father and 
possibly me for their own agenda....... I'm not going to play their 
games anymore...."    
  
"As much as I would like that to be the case...... I don't think their going 
to give you a choice...  give us a choice."  
  
Seeing his pained expression as she hit on his worst fear, "Mulder, 
Rogers gave you that key for a reason.  And whatever it is ....... 
someone, whether it was actually your father or not, wants you to 
use it."  
  
Rising from her chair, she approached him as his eyes studied the floor 
while he had  backed himself up against the counter with his hands 
planted flush on its top.    
  
Standing as close to him as possible, without touching, she looked up 
the shorter distance than normal to search his face for the feeling she 
had heard in his voice. In a softened tone, "This isn't like you, Mulder.  
You've never been....."  
  
"What?  Afraid?  Is that what you think I am?"  
  
Exasperated, "I don't know..... are you?"  
  
An interminable silence echoed throughout the kitchen as he 
confusingly told her 'no' with his head as it shook back and forth, but 
'yes' with his eyes.  Eyes that couldn't bear to see what else his father 
might have done to insure his safety and purpose.  
  
"In all the time I've known you.... you've never been one to shy away 
from the truth... to find the answers that you sought.  It was all you 
lived for....    I don't want to see you get dragged through this again 
either, but I fear if you... if we try to avoid it..."  
  
She didn't have to finish for him.  He knew what she was saying.  The 
fear of the unknown was the greatest fear of all.  Not knowing what 
they would be dealing with used to be a daily event, but the end.... an 
end was always in sight if not in reach.
    
Therein lay the greater tragedy.  After years of steadfast belief, after the 
enormous sacrifices made, they had already learned the extent of deceit 
these shadowy men had been capable of, shattering those beliefs and 
nearly the man she loved.  
  
Mulder had literally been created.  His life constructed to be used as an 
asset in the greater scheme of plans once fostered through a code of  
silence and oppression in order to secure a future for the few.  
  
"I just don't know what this is about...... and yes, Scully... that scares 
me.  I thought all this shit was over with."  
  
"So instead of facing it head on..... you just want to ignore it.... hope it 
goes away?"  
  
A whisper of a grin edging up the corner of his mouth, "I guess that 
was the plan."  
  
Letting her eyes shut, she dropped her head and let her still damp hair 
fall over one side of her face.  She felt relief that his use of the past 
tense signaled his changing mind.    
  
"You know...... whatever it is.... whatever he did or didn't do..."  Scully 
lifted her hands to his chest covering the area where his heart rested.   
"this can't touch you.... this can't touch us...."  
  
Lifting her hands from his chest to his face he kissed them and closed 
his own eyes as if he were offering a benediction to the woman, the only 
person that had ever cared about him and who he was.  
  
  
  
  
**************  
  
  
Wednesday, March 21  
Presidential Campaign Headquarters  
Downtown, Washington D.C.  
11:48 AM  
  
John Campbell rested his weary legs behind the makeshift desk that 
occupied his makeshift office relishing in the glow of his victory.  The 
nomination he had sought after for so long was know clearly his.  After 
the incumbent President had declined to run for re-election, fearing the 
ensuing public landslide against him, Campbell had fought for his   
party's nomination with token resistance.  The fifty-three year old 
thought over the road he had taken for him to arrive at this point and 
said a quick 'thank you' to the forces in his life that had gotten him 
there.  Political parties in the landscape of politics that now ruled   
Washington post "IRSHAM" were a different animal.    
  
Campbell had made his way up the ranks as a Senator from a thriving, 
southern state that had once made him a Governor. Campbell had 
successfully maneuvered his way into insuring his constituents would 
be employed, supported, and looked after if not by design, but by 
fortunate events.  His strong charisma and personality were his greatest 
assets, he knew, not his politics.  

As in the case of so many Presidential elections during the past twenty 
years, this was what his opponent feared the most.   A good public 
relations job, a few well place ads, the media succumbing to his small-
town ways and Campbell was as good as in the White House.  
  
Stopping to read all the bi-lines that heralded the reasoning behind his 
overwhelming dominance in all of the primaries thus far, he didn't think 
to read the other articles dealing with his leading contender once the 
primaries were over.  Just like his future competitor's most recent wins, 
Super Tuesday in the south had been a dog-fight for  Trent Rogers and 
California looked to be just as tough.  Campbell leaned back in his chair   
wondering what the Oval Office would be like to walk downstairs to 
everyday.  
 
Thinking aloud, "How could I never want this?" 
  
  
*************  
  
  
Capital Soup Cafe  
Downtown, Washington, D.C.  
12:36 PM  
  
As she raised the spoon to her mouth to blow on the scalding broth, 
Scully spied Mulder out of the corner of her eye while he read the day's 
special edition of the Washington Post.  Dealing with nothing but 
election results and 'spin' from those trying to interpret the results to 
their advantage, this was the second time Mulder had started over from 
the beginning, scanning every paragraph, sentence and word trying to 
find some evidence of Rogers warning.    
  
Since Saturday morning, Scully had backed off from the subject that 
was all too soon becoming the focus of their lives.  Mulder's obsessive 
behavior wasn't something she was unfamiliar with, but the fact he was 
avoiding the most intriguing lead they had was driving her to a slow 
death.  

Wondering if he had ever purposely been obtuse about a piece of 
critical evidence before, she shoved that thought from her mind as the 
image of a frozen vile of her ova sprang to her mind.  If he had been, it 
was to protect her, knowing full well what kind of risk to their 
relationship it might bring.  

In a bizarre way, the fact that Mulder would go to such lengths to 
shelter her from unnecessary pain would always endear him into her 
heart a little more than she would like to admit, even to herself.  
  
"Mulder, there's nothing in there..... I read it myself."  
  
Ignoring her comment, he turned another page.  Releasing a heavy 
breath full of disappointment, Scully realized his investigative mode was 
turned on again to the position she knew full well as 'overdrive.'  
  
Mulder had heard her, he was just unsure of what to say.  He knew that 
key he had been given was quite possibly the clue to unraveling the 
mystery set before them.  Scully had gone back to slowly eating her 
soup trying to forget the oncoming catastrophe if he didn't relinquish 
his fears about his father's past.  
  
Folding the paper, he stuffed it down in the space next to him on his 
side of the booth.  Scully was obviously deep in thought, looking out 
the cafe window into some unknown point in space as he examined her 
demeanor.  As she would raise the spoon, full of the hot liquid, she 
would press her lips together to eloquently breathe a cooling wisp of air   
on the contents.  Stopping only for a second to perform this chore, she 
would then take the spoon between her lips, followed by a dab of her 
napkin resting in her other hand she kept in her lap.  
  
By built-in reflex, Mulder reached for her right hand as it left the spoon 
momentarily to find her glass of tea.  Surprised to be the center of his 
attention all of a sudden, she lifted her eyes to catch his own as they 
closed.    
  
"You might want to take a Polaroid because I'm about to do something 
I rarely, if ever, do."  
  
Cautiously unsettled, "What's that?"  
  
"I'm about to take my own advice and step away from this situation."   

After another moment of self deliberation, "If...... if we're going to 
figure this out, I can't lead this one, Scully.  I'm going to need you to 
take over. I'm not the rational one here."  
  
Grasping his meaning, she stroked her thumb over the back of his hand.  
Smirking, "You never have been."  
  
Relief that his message had been received, "So Agent Scully, what 
would you propose be the first course of action towards solving this 
case."  
  
Pushing her soup bowl aside, she placed her other hand on top of his.  
"My first course of action is the course of action 'we've' been avoiding."  
Again with the 'we' instead of the 'you'  or 'I,' thought to himself
  
"Unfortunately this will have to be done on our own, seeing as this isn't 
anything the Bureau or VCS is interested in.  Do you think 'our friends' 
would help us out with the uhh...... 'key' aspects of this case?"  
  
Catching her deftly used pun, "They would do anything for us.... 
especially Frohike."  
  
Recalling their last visit to The Lone Gunmen's clandestine hangout, she 
couldn't help but feel relieved again that Frohike was genuinely happy 
for them and how their relationship had survived that tumultuous year 
apart.  Remembering him using her given name for the first time ever, 
his heartfelt words to her after the New Year had been rung in made her 
think of him in a different light.  

'Dana, I'm so glad your back in his life.  With you gone, we felt like we 
had lost apart of ourselves also.'  

Despite the aura of perversion he liked to facilitate, Melvin Frohike 
summed up her feelings in a moment of clarity that she would never 
forget.  The subsequent kiss to his cheek was something he would 
never forget either.  
  
"Well then...... I'll run it by their place this afternoon on my way to 
Quantico with Holland.  Do you think they would mind Larry tagging 
along.  I'm sure he would get a kick out of meeting them."  
  
Not too surprised the key he had given her for safe keeping was 
somewhere convenient, "I'll call the guys to warn them."  
  
A stern look from Scully caused Mulder to reexamine his words.  "Warn 
them about Holland, not you."  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Offices of The Lone Gunmen  
3:46 PM  
  
Standing outside the office door in the back alley, Scully looked up into 
the hidden video camera she knew was there.  After pounding on the 
door a few more times, "Hey, Frohike!  Open the door, it's raining out 
here."  
  
As the last words left her mouth the monotonous routine of one of the 
inhabitants from this clandestine hole in the wall began to unlock, 
unlatch and unsecured the metal door before Scully and Holland.    
  
Looking over to her former partner, now subordinate, Scully held up 
her fingers to show him the number nine.  Sure enough, after counting 
down silently, nine locks were unfastened to reveal a short, spectacled 
man with a wide grin on his face.  
  
"Frohike," she said pushing past him to enter the lair looking for the 
other two.    
  
"Why Agent Scully.  To what honor do we owe this visit for today."  
  
Ignoring his flirtatious looks, "Frohike, this is Agent Holland, a friend 
of Mulder's and mine."  
  
Holland who had been captivated by the inner surroundings of the 
place finally settled his eyes on the smaller man and shook his hand, 
before going back to his enraptured observance of all the equipment 
and technology surrounding and adorning the walls.  
  
Seeing Holland's mind was some place else, Scully saw an opening.   
Standing closer to Frohike than usual, she placed her arm around his 
shoulder and led them away from Holland.  
  
"Frohike, I need a favor."  
  
Perking up, "Always at your service.  What can I do for you, Dana?"  
  
Arching her brow to Frohike at the use of her first name quickly 
disarmed the forever charming man who never knew how to stop.  
"Uhh... sorry... Agent Scully."  
  
Nodding her head in appreciation of the proper way to address her she 
continued on with her persistent admirer.  Spying a look back at 
Holland, Scully lowered her voice just above a whisper.  "I need you to 
keep Holland.... occupied while I talk to the other two...... speaking of 
which .. where are they?"  
  
"Oh, they're in the back arguing over a new surveillance photo of Dealy 
plaza."  
  
Shaking her head in at their continued fascination of JFK's assassination, 
"We need you guys to do a little research for us.  I don't want Holland 
to know exactly why."  
  
"Then why did you bring him?"  
  
As she walked away from him towards his two dubious cohorts, "Better 
check your subscribers list, Frohike.  You might be surprised to find 
out who some of your fans are."  
  
As Scully found her way through the entangled and perpetual mess of 
the place she could hear the bickering between Langly and Byers from a 
distance.  The beeping and burping of technology she had never seen, 
nor ever wanted to know about sat idly by waiting to be played with by 
one of its masters.  
  
"But it has to be the head shot.... just look at the angle."  
  
"Normally I would agree with you, Langly, but....."   Byers stopped 
short of continuing as he caught the presence of someone unfamiliar in 
the back recesses of the office.  
  
Both of them just staring at her made her a bit self conscious.  "Don't let 
me stop you guys..... keep going."  
  
Throwing a look to Langly that said they would continue this 
discussion later, Byers dropped what he was doing to give his full 
attention to Scully.  "Agent Scully.  So nice to see you.... to what do we 
owe the pleasure?"  
  
"Mulder's not gone off and done something stupid again has he?"  
Langly interjected.  
  
"No, surprisingly nothing lately."  After all these years, Scully could 
play their game as well.  
  
"What can we do for you today, Agent Scully?"    
  
Byers formality always put her at a little discomfort.  "Actually there is 
something that Mulder and myself would like some unofficial help 
with."  
  
"Oh, really.  And when exactly has it ever been official?"    
  
Ignoring Langly's comment, Scully slipped her hand into her coat 
pocket and handed the key to Byers.  "This is something personal, 
guys.  No case involved."   
  
Examining the key suspiciously, Byers handed it to Langly for his 
inspection.  "What exactly is this, Agent Scully?"  
  
Releasing her held breath, "We were hoping you could tell us.  All we 
know is that it was given to Mulder.  When he received it he was told it 
could unlock some of the mysteries of his father's past."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Yes, Langly.  That's all."  
  
"Who gave it to him?"  
  
Pausing a moment to consider if it were wise to tell them, she decided it 
would be a wise decision if they were to find out what they were hoping 
to.  "Trent Rogers."  
  
Slack jawed, Byers was definitely startled by the answer while Langly 
didn't seem the least bit surprised.  Conspiracies of any magnitude never 
seemed to faze him. 

"We want you guys to find out everything possible about the key.    
What it goes to, whom does it belong to, where is it we can use it..... 
everything..... no matter what it takes."  
  
Glancing back to Langly, Byers understood her completely.  "No 
problem, Agent Scully.  We'll get right on it for you."  
  
"Thanks guys.... oh and tell Frohike I'm sorry for sticking him with the 
baby sitting detail."  As she left, Byers saw her retrieve Holland and 
understood what she was referring to.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
  
Greenwich, Connecticut  
Friday, March 23	  
7:46 AM  
  
Waking up to another day, Teena Mulder fought off the sleep and tired 
to place herself in the early morning hour.  A beam of sunshine falling in 
her bedroom window, she rubbed her temples wishing the morning 
headaches she routinely got would go away quickly.   
  
Settling herself for a moment, she draped her legs over the edge of the 
bed in anticipation of her morning shower.  Today would be longer than 
most, she remembered suddenly.  A few errands to run,  an old friend 
she had to see in the hospital and a dinner with her neighbor that night 
would provide more activity than she was used to at her age.  
  
Since her stroke, her doctors had warned her about too much exertion 
of physical or mental activity.  This would probably be the busiest day 
since coming home from Christmas after spending the holidays with her 
son.   Recalling those fond memories of Dana and Fox, she thought 
about giving him a call later tonight to see how they were doing.

Secretly, she had suspected they were living together since that 
Christmas visit or at the very least, spending most of their time together.   
Staying with her son at his place, they had visited Dana's apartment for 
Christmas day.  She couldn't help but notice how relaxed Fox was at her 
place and how comfortable Dana seemed with them there.  Seeing   
them share the goodnight kiss when they thought she was in the 
bathroom ended the speculation.  
  
Finding her way into her own bathroom this morning, Teena started the 
water in the shower stall and waited for the water to heat up as she 
readied herself by taking off her night clothes and retrieved her terry-
cloth robe.    
  
A few minutes later she stuck her hand in the stall to feel the 
temperature and adjusted the dials accordingly.  About to step in, the 
phone rang.  Cursing slightly under her breath for the disruption she 
made her way to the phone on the nightstand.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Nothing but an empty line greeted her.  No dial tone, no reply, just dead 
air.  Replacing the hand-set to the cradle she shook it off and returned 
to the bathroom.  
  
  
*************  
  
J. Edgar Hoover Building	  
Conference Room #2  
11:42 AM  
  
The section meeting was in full swing and close to winding down as the 
lunch hour approached.  Scully sat next to Holland and her other 
charges as they listened to SAC Hastings give final instructions on a 
case that would involve a joint task force with the D.E.A.  Hastings had 
been recently promoted with the departure of West to another field   
office.  
  
Mulder sat across the table from her and fidgeted while chewing on a 
sunflower seed he had snuck past her.  Coming up every few minutes 
with a new one, Scully wondered where he hid his seemingly limitless 
supply of his favorite oral fixation. `Well, maybe second favorite,' she 
thought to her self sheepishly.  

As if on cue by some psychic force, Mulder chose that moment to look 
at her, curiously noting a tinge of color creeping into her cheeks.  
  
A loud knock at the conference room door interrupted the SAC.  
Looking up to see Holly from communications, in a frustrated manner, 
he let her come in. He knew better than anyone she would not be 
bothering them if it wasn't something important.  
  
Shyly, "Sorry to interrupt sir, but I have an important message for 
Agent Mulder.  If you could excuse him for a minute."  
  
Mulder looked up to SAC Hastings for permission to leave.  After 
seeing the approval, he looked to Scully warily, wondering what this 
could be about.  
  
Leaving his things, Mulder got up and headed to the door where Holly 
was still waiting.  After exiting, Scully continued to watch them through 
the blinds as they talked in the hallway. 
 
"Agent Mulder, we just got a call from the Greenwich PD."  
  
A look of disheartening fright settled on his face in mere seconds of 
hearing the word Greenwich, knowing it could only involve his mother.  
  
"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your mother was found at 
her home.  She died early this morning.  A neighbor found her.  I'm so 
sorry."  
  
Shock settling onto him, Holly looked more upset than he did for a 
minute.  He had known this day would come.  The day when all the 
family he had ever known would be gone forever, he just never expected 
it to happen this way.  His eyes watered slightly at the thought of his 
mom being gone forever.  
  
Holly placed her hand along his arm to give him some comfort.  His 
smile made her feel better as he covered her hand with one of his.  

"Thanks, Holly.  Tell them I'll be there this afternoon."  
  
Retreating  up against the glass window separating him from the 
conference area, he ran a hand through his hair and regained some 
composure as Holly left him to his own thoughts.    
  
Scully had seen the whole interaction between him and Holly and was 
disturbed at what she had seen.  The look on Holly's face coupled with 
Mulder's posture told her the news had not been good.  
  
Mulder re-entered the conference room with his head down and went 
back to his chair where, instead of sitting back down, he grabbed his 
jacket and files in front of him all the while unaware of the room staring 
back at him.  
  
"Agent Mulder?"  Jeff inquired.  
  
Suddenly aware his name had been called, Mulder looked up.  "I'm 
sorry, I've got to go home.  My mother...... she just passed away."  
  
The slightly audible gasp from Scully prompted Hastings to look in her 
direction.  Back to Mulder, Hastings made no attempt to hide his own 
concern.  

"Of course... please take whatever time you need."  Checking his watch 
he decided it was time to break anyway and excused the rest of the 
agents from the meeting as Mulder just stared blankly at Scully sitting 
across the table.  
  
Janice Ryan was sitting at the far end of the table with other members of 
the D.E.A.'s group involved in the task force.  Although she had never 
personally met Scully, she recognized her from the photos she had seen 
in Mulder's apartment.  With most of the other agents filing out of the 
room, she made her way to where Mulder was still standing. 
  
Seeing his friend Jan approach him, Mulder looked over to Scully.  
Blankly, Mulder introduced the two lost in his thoughts. "Janice Ryan... 
I would like you to meet Dana Scully."  
  
Recognizing the name as the "Jan", Mulder had often spoke of, Scully 
quickly got up to exchange greetings with the mysterious woman she 
had always been curious about.  
  
Taking her hand, Scully could see her own concern for Mulder mirrored 
in Jan's expression.  "I had hoped to meet you someday, Janice.  It's nice 
to finally meet you in person."  
  
Seeing Mulder's faraway look, Jan glanced back to Scully,  "Me too and 
under better circumstances."  
  
Mulder was on a different planet, let alone the same room.  Unaware of 
the significance of Scully and Janice meeting for the first time, he held 
his coat in one hand while gazing into the distance.  
  
The mutual regard for Mulder was evident as both women saw a part of 
themselves in the other.  Janice turned to Mulder and put an hand along 
his arm.  "I'm so sorry Fox.  Please let me know if there is anything I can 
do."  
  
Glancing back to Scully, Janice made a motion with her eyes for her to 
walk with her towards the door.  Throwing a careful look back to 
Mulder to see if he would be all right, Scully walked with Janice.  
  
Putting her own arm around Scully, Janice looked  to her and spoke 
with her heart as usual.  "Dana?"  
  
Surprised a little by Janice's forward nature, "Yes?"  
  
"Here's my number.  Call me to let me know about the funeral 
arrangements.  I would like to be there for the service."  Janice 
produced a business card and quickly wrote an alternate number on the 
back where she could be reached in case of emergency.  
  
"Of course...... Jan?"  
  
"Yes, please call me Jan."  The two women smiled at each other 
knowing they both had a little more in common than they had suspected.  

"Fox is going to need all the friends he can get now."  
  
Nodding her head in agreement.  "It was nice to finally meet you Jan.  
I'll call you from Greenwich tonight."  
  
Jan left the room with a bittersweet smile of her own and disappeared 
amongst the other agents and people in the bullpen area.  
  
Turning back to see, Mulder she walked to him, standing as close as 
she dare without touching him.  Looking up all she could see was the 
loss in his eyes.  Eyes that held no light and spoke of only tragedy.  
Looking down at her, Mulder had made no move since picking up his 
coat.  

"You're all I have left now."  
  
Overcome by her own emotions by his heart-wrenching words, Scully 
threw away the rules of professional conduct and cautiously wrapped 
her arms around his waist burying her face in his chest.  "I'm not going 
anywhere, Mulder."  
  
Feeling him fight for a breath of clean air over his tears, she felt him 
squeeze tighter as if to reassure himself of her words.  
  
Pulling back to see her own reflection in his eyes, Scully looked at him 
with such love and understanding as she remembered how comforting 
he had once been at the loss of one of her own parents.  

"Come on, Mulder.  We can catch a flight to Greenwich this afternoon."  
  
Mulder closed his eyes in silent gratitude for her.  Not caring how it 
looked, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room and into 
the bullpen area where some of the agents had gathered around to show 
a sign of support after the word had spread.    
  
Stopping at her desk to pick up some belongings, she found a note from 
SAC Hastings informing her she had some vacation days saved up if 
she wanted to take some time off in the 'near future.'  She smiled at the 
note recalling how understanding Jeff had been to them over the past 
few months.  
  
Picking up the phone she made a quick call to Holly asking her to call 
her mother and inform her of the situation.  Holly took her instructions 
and expressed her condolences again, wishing for them to be safe on 
their trip to Connecticut.  
  
  
************  
  
Garden of Reflection  
Parkway Cemetery  
Boston, Massachusetts  
Monday, March 26  
11:12 AM  
  
  
The weekend had been difficult and dreary.  Expecting to find out 
Mrs. Mulder had died of another stroke or other health related problem, 
Mulder and Scully were in disbelief at the crime scene which they were 
greeted with upon arrival.  The revealing sign of yellow crime scene 
tape that surrounded the front door to his mother's home was a sight 
neither were prepared for.  
  
Finding out  she had been murdered in cold blood was even more 
difficult to imagine.  A .9mm slug to the back of her head along with the 
apparent lack of motive indicated a  murder for reasons yet to be 
determined.  All weekend long, Mulder couldn't understand who would 
want to kill an elderly woman who was failing in health anyway.  The   
senselessness of the crime was only outweighed by the loss of the only 
living relative he had left.  
  
Catching himself from falling back into the stupor of depression he had 
spent most of the weekend in, Mulder tightened his grip on Scully's 
hand as he listened to the minister read words from scripture for his 
mother.  Looking down, he could see Scully reciting the familiar 
passage under her breath with unshed tears filling her eyes.  Before them 
an open grave with the casket suspended above it, ready for the final 
descent, spoke of the finality of the event.    
  
Looking around, Mulder saw the other long faces that accompanied his 
and saw those most important to him and his life.  Mrs. Scully had 
arrived on Saturday afternoon to help with arrangements.  Janice had 
done the same Sunday afternoon along with Byers and Frohike a few 
hours later.  Langly had chosen to skip the service citing a disbelief in   
funerals, but had sent along his condolences just the same. Assistant 
Director Skinner had volunteered to represent the Bureau and had made 
the trip this morning.  A few other non-descript relatives, some he 
hadn't seen in many years, had also made their way to Boston for the 
modest funeral service.    
  
Choosing to be buried along side her ex-husband, Mulder found the 
request comforting as he thought peacefully about his mother's 
unconditional love.  Although his parents had not seen eye to eye in 
the later years, he was always sure that the love was there.  It had just 
been misplaced by the deeds of others with larger forces pulling the   
strings of their family's  future.  
  
The service ending, Mulder spoke to those who had filed by him and 
Scully to pay their respects.  A sorrowful Margaret Scully held him for 
several minutes as she spoke words of comfort that no one else could 
seem to offer.  A few minutes later Janice, heartbroken at the sight of 
Mulder, kissed him gently on the cheek and wiped away a few more of 
his tears.  Finding the instant rapport with Scully again, Janice also took 
her into her arms urging her to "take care of Fox," realizing the words 
were unneeded, yet comforting to say.  
  
As the cemetery emptied, the two of them stood there for a few last 
moments noting the surrounding headstones.  Settling his gaze to his 
father's, Mulder couldn't remember the exact details of when he had first 
seen it.  Sometime after he and Scully had returned from New Mexico 
and a few weeks after the funeral of Scully's sister.  
  
"There was always so much left unsaid.  So much we endured......"

Scully looked up to Mulder, unsure if he was talking to her or his 
mother's casket.

"I tried for so long, Mom.  I know I never told you, but I promised you 
that one day I would find Samantha...... and I would bring her back... 
that I would fix what was broken...."

Scully's grip tightened on his hand a little more.  Urging him, giving him 
the strength to say his peace.

"I'm sorry that I could never do that for you, but I tried........ and I hope 
somewhere... you will know exactly how much I did try.  Find your 
peace.... find your peace with Dad.... and don't hate him for what he did.  
I don't........ I don't think he was given a choice in the matter."

Standing there is silent communion with his mother one last time, "I 
love you, Mom.  Don't ever think I didn't."

The men from the cemetery who had come to finish the final 
preparations for the grave signaled it was time to leave.  Scully 
squeezed his hand and tugged one final time.  Unable to go just yet, 
Mulder brought his free hand to his lips and then placed those same 
fingers he had just kissed to rest on the top of his mother's casket.    
Whispering his love to his mother one last time, he turned to see 
Scully's bottom lip quivering, as tears finally fell down her face 
unrestrained.  
  
  
*************  
  
I-95 Southbound  
South of Philadelphia  
4:23  PM  
  
  
Hovering just a bit over the speed limit, Kevin Saunders kept a constant 
vigil for others who might be following him.  He had just left Boston a 
few hours ago intent on getting as far away as he could from the scene.  

That his business brought him into contact with death on a constant 
basis was nothing new.  The fact he was called on to bring about    
death wasn't his favorite idea though.  The money was good, the job 
simple, but the heartless acts he had perpetrated in his life would haunt 
him to his own grave.  
  
The follow up visit to Boston that had been requested was a little 
unusual, but this client had been anything but typical.  Hiding out in 
Boston since his visit to Greenwich earlier in the week was convenient if 
not downright eerie knowing the final resting place for his victim would 
also be on her way there.  
  
The sharp trill of his cell-phone broke through his thoughts.  
  
"Yes."  Saunders answered.  
  
"Did it go as planned?"  
  
"Considering she's dead and Mulder is upset.... I would think you 
should be happy."  
  
"Did you send the note?"  
  
"As requested."  
  
"Very well.  We'll be in contact if further assistance is required."  
  
Hanging up the phone, Saunders wondered if 'further assistance' would 
ever not be required.  It hadn't yet.  The small deeds of his client weren't 
often called for, but they were increasing in their occurrence and 
intensity.    
  
  
*************  
  
Delta Airlines  
Flight 647 to Washington D.C.  
8:23 PM  
  
Characteristically for Mulder, he had passed out on the plane ride home.  
It wasn't a long flight, but the weekend in Providence and today in 
Boston had seen him grab less sleep than normal.   
  
After the service Mulder and Scully  retired to a local hotel where they 
had spent the afternoon making some preliminary arrangements for the 
closing of Teena Mulder's estate.  

The will had been read without little surprise considering Mulder had 
helped her re-draft it after his father's death.  The estate left to him was 
modest, but substantial.  The house in West Tisbury with her residence 
in Greenwich that had been set up for her by his father along with some 
stocks and a smaller savings account was all that would be left of the 
Mulder family estate.  
  
Scully sat back in as relaxed a state as possible.  Airplanes had never 
been her favorite mode of transportation, but over the years she had 
learned get used to it and at times enjoy its convenience.    
  
About thirty minutes from touchdown the captain came over the 
intercom to relay mindless details about the city of Washington and the 
gate numbers for connecting passengers.  
  
The crackling, unintelligible voice woke Mulder from his slumber.  The 
forty or so minutes he had spent asleep made him feel a bit more 
refreshed than he had expected.  Looking over to the window seat he 
felt Scully holding his hand stroking it softly as she looked out into the 
night sky watching the lights from the ground make funny patterns to   
those in the air looking down.  
  
Turning his head more to the left, he could see her two smaller hands 
covering his own lulling him into a relaxed state.  Hearing him move 
around a bit, Scully turned back to her right to see Mulder was indeed 
awake smiling tenderly at their joined hands.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Mulder's eyes rose to meet hers.  "Hi."  
  
Both stared at one another for a long minute trying to find the 
appropriate words realizing what was being said between them with 
their hands was all that was really required.  
  
"We almost there yet?"  
  
"Yeah, we should be on the ground in a few minutes.  Did you sleep 
well?"  
  
"As well as you can in these contraptions they call seats.  Next time I'm 
booking us first class seats."  
  
Amused at his tone.  "Really?  I never knew you to be the big spender."  
  
"Oh I'm not.  I.. I just thought I could stick you in the overhead."  
  
A few years earlier, a different time and place would have gotten him a 
stern look for such a comment, but with the past few days events, she 
was willing to let him have some fun at her expense if it could get a 
smile to his face.  At the moment a small smile from hers would do the 
trick.
  
"Don't tempt me, Mulder.  It might be more comfortable than this."  
  
Seeing that she was doing her part to make him feel better, Mulder 
turned serious and picked up their hands holding them between their 
faces.  "Nothing could be more comfortable than this."   
  
Demurely smiling for him, Scully thought back briefly to the long day's 
events.  "You know, Mulder.  You were right about Janice.  I do like 
her."  
  
"There's not a whole lot to dislike."  Thinking briefly about the day 
himself, he continued.  "I wish you could have met sooner and not in 
this way."  
  
"At the very least, I'm glad you met her when you did, Mulder.  I can 
see how some of her ways rubbed off on you."  
  
Straightening up a bit in his chair, "Oh?"     
  
"Yeah, she really seems to be open with herself ......towards others.   I 
know I've never been able to be like that, but it's a refreshing change to 
see in some people."  
  
"So you think she's the one who finally slapped some sense into me?"  
He asked mischievously.  
  
"I think in a way, she slapped some sense into both of us."  
  



  
[Testaments]  
  



The affirmation of one's fears goes a long way to procuring new fears in 
the enlightened age.  The ones that haunt your inner soul, knowing you 
can never fully escape what you fear, can only serve to fuel your 
passions in one of two ways.  Both being lethal to your existence yet 
separately rewarding in insufficient ways.  Going forward to face those   
fears or shying away.  The ultimate conclusion being that of hope or 
despair in search of the way through it.  
  
  
J. Edgar Hoover Building  
Washington D.C.   
April 3   
2:12 PM  
  
Back to the usual work-a-day grind, Scully was out of town for the past 
few days on a case.  Boredom setting in, Mulder had plenty to think 
about as he organized his thoughts when he got back to work.  Going 
back and spending several days in Connecticut during the past week, he 
was close to settling his mother's affairs.  Her house in Greenwich   
would be sold along with the furnishings.  He decided to hold onto his 
father's house in West Tisbury deciding with the support of Scully that 
it would provide extra income as well as a nice retreat.  The houses in 
Quonochontaug and Chilmark had been sold  well after it had been left 
to him by his father a few years back even though most of his fond   
memories of him and Samantha resided there.    
  
Returning to work he found himself behind, but thankfully not too much 
had piled up except his unopened mail since last week.  After avoiding 
the daily filtering through of junk mail and other pieces of assorted 
pieces of information, Mulder grabbed the stack and pulled out the 
trash can from beside his desk ready to dispose of the usual bits of 
garbage.  
  
Sifting through the usual pieces of mail, he stopped at the sight of a 
smaller envelope with a hand written address.  Seeing the postmark was 
from Boston he ruefully thought it was another note of sorrow and 
support for him.  Feeling better about the events of the past two weeks, 
he opened the letter with no return address, curious to see who it was 
from.  
  
Inside was a smaller piece of paper with an address on it.  The address 
was for a First National Bank of Palmetto, located in Charleston, South 
Carolina.  Having never heard of such a bank nor having ever visited 
there, Mulder flipped back over the envelope to note the postmarked 
date.  
  
  
  
*************  
  
FBI Field Office  
Salt Lake City, Utah  
11:20 AM PST  
  
  
Examining a specimen under the powerful microscope, Scully 
carefully took notes into her cassette recorder noting several minuscule 
details that she had been looking for on the piece of human tissue.    
  
"The specimen is lacerated on the surface with smaller metallic looking 
flakes......."  
  
Interrupting her train of thought, her cell phone trilled loudly in the 
quiet lab causing more than a few of her colleagues to jump as well.  
Taking off her latex glove she quickly hit the talk button.  "Scully."  
  
"It's me, Scully."  
  
"Hey, Mulder.  You know, Salt Lake City is not a bad place to be 
transferred.  You wouldn't believe the scenery out here."  
  
"Well you might just wish you had taken that transfer after I tell you 
what I found today."  
  
"Yeah, what's up?"  
  
"I received a present in the mail this morning."    
  
"What?"  
  
"An address to a bank in Charleston, South Carolina."  
  
"What's in Charleston, Mulder?"  
  
"I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it.  I've never been 
there.  How about you?"  
  
"One time as a little girl, but that was years ago on a family 
vacation.............  Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What are you not telling me?   Why is the address of a bank in South 
Carolina so important all of a sudden?"  
  
"Honestly, I don't know.  It's what was on the envelope that has me 
concerned."  
  
Instead of asking the question, she let him continue, knowing he knew 
her curiosity was piqued.  
  
"It was postmarked from Boston........ the same day my mother was 
buried."  
  
"It could just be a coincidence, Mulder."  
  
"And Elvis could really be dead."  
  
"And your point is what, Mulder?"  
  
"I don't think I have one yet.  I was just wondering if and when you 
would be back here."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I want to take a trip down south."  
  
"Well, I'm supposed to catch a flight home tomorrow night.  If you want 
I can switch it to Charleston and meet you there."  
  
"Sounds good.   I'm going to be with the guys tonight.  They called to 
tell me they found some info on our 'key' piece of evidence."     
  
Silence filled the line as Scully wanted to tell him to wait, but knew he 
wouldn't.  

"Listen, Mulder...... give me a call tonight no matter how late it 
is.  I want to know what's going on."  
  
  
Moments later....  
Outside the FBI Field Office  
Salt Lake City, Utah  
  
Dialing the number in his cell phone that were becoming increasingly 
familiar, Saunders rolled up his window and collapsed the small antenna 
on his digital receiver while waiting for his client to pick up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's Saunders."  
  
"What do you have for me?"  
  
"Well, he bought it."  
  
"Did he?"  
  
"Yes he just got off the phone with his former partner, Scully.  He's 
heading for Charleston tomorrow night."  
  
"Good.  Did he mention the key?"  
  
"He made a vague reference to it about having some guys looking into 
it.  He might have some outside help working on it for him."  
  
"Excellent.  He's ahead of my plans already.  I hoped I wouldn't have to 
use more drastic measures in persuading him to cooperate."  
  
"You don't think having his mother killed is drastic?"  
  
"Only a necessary evil to facilitate my plans.  If he had taken the hint 
months ago, I might not have had to take such those measures.  
  
 "Does this mean the Scully woman is to be involved further?"  
  
"I hope it doesn't have to come to that, but if things don't go 
the way I want them to she may be useful.  I want him to cooperate, not 
retaliate.  Past instances where she has been used against him have  
always proven unfortunate to those electing to take that road..... so it's 
not a first option."  
  
"Then why have you sent me all over the country following her?" 
 
Saunders recurring feeling of paranoia was resurfacing as usual.  Ever 
since that day he had posed a drunk watching his new client, he had  
gathered as much information on him as he had been instructed to on 
Mulder.  Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer had been 
a way of life as a CIA operative that specialized in "wet" assignments.    
  
"I thought she would be the one Mulder went to in order to find out 
more about the key, but it seems I was wrong.  I need you to get back 
here and find out who he is using.  I need you to monitor his progress if 
this is to work."  
  
"I see."  
  
"No you don't ..... but I guarantee it... one day you will."    
  
Hanging up the phone, Trent Rogers pulled out another Cohiba and lit it 
impatiently.  He would have to get more forceful if the impending 
situation didn't resolve itself as he had so assiduously planned.  
  
Across the country, Saunders hung up the phone and fingered his 
keyboard looking at the surveillance photos of the woman he had tailed 
that day almost a year to today's date.  She had covered her accent well,  
but not well enough for one who was familiar with Georgia.  The former 
Soviet republic of Georgia.  
  
To himself, Saunders thought boldly.  'But you see Mr. Rogers..... I 
understand more than you think.'  
  
*************  
  
Offices of The Lone Gunmen  
7:42 PM  
  
"Mulder, you really need to lighten up buddy.  She's only been gone a 
few days"  
  
"Ahh, but you see Frohike.  A few days without Scully is like 
experiencing a few years of your lifetime."  Mulder shot back.  
  
Perking up, "Do tell, Agent Mulder.  Wait, let me get my tape recorder 
ready."    
  
"In your dreams, Frohike."  
  
Waiting for the other members of this ultra-paranoid group of men to 
show up, Mulder and Frohike traded comebacks and stories to kill the 
time.  In a few short minutes the other two returned from the local 
corner deli with their unhealthy looking dinner.  
  
Tapping Mulder on the shoulder, Langly handed him a bag.  "Here, 
Mulder.  We know you haven't had one of these in a while."  
  
"Oh dear God.... not a cheese steak from Gelmen's"    
  
"Oh yes.  Loaded too.  Tell me your lady let's you have these."  
  
Mulder's lack of response prompted the other three to barely hold in 
their laughter.    
  
"Don't tell me she has you whipped already?"  Frohike asked while 
trying to hold down his grin.  
  
"Hey!"  Mulder shot back to him with a warning.  Grinning himself for a 
split second, "You would kill to be the whippee."  
  
Another round of laughter between him and the other two put Frohike 
in his place for the time being.  
  
"So Mulder, what's with this key?"  Byers held up the aforementioned 
object and passed it back to Mulder in a small ziplock bag.  
  
"I don't know... you tell me."  
  
"So far, using descriptions, database and Internet searches we've come 
to the conclusion it was manufactured by Graves and Bower Inc. 
sometime in the fifties.  It appears to be a key that goes to a lock box... 
maybe even a..."  
  
"Safety deposit box?"  Mulder asked with a sense of dread.  Since 
finding the address to the bank, something told him that the key was 
somehow related to the letter.  
  
"Man, I knew you were holding out on us.... what gives Mulder?"  
Langly was slightly perturbed.  
  
Pulling out the note to give to him, "I didn't suspect it until this arrived 
today."    
  
Handing the note to Byers and Frohike, Langly turned to his laptop 
and started typing away furiously.  The other two looked at each other 
with a sense of wonder that gave Mulder some concern.  "What.... what 
is it?"  
  
Turning back around to face him Langly answered. "We suspected it 
would be a safety deposit box so we tracked down some lot numbers we 
found on the key."  
  
Picking up where he left off, Byers continued.  "It seems the company 
who made your key has been out of business for a while now."  
  
Mulder sighed in frustration fearing they had met a dead end.  
"Damnit."  
  
"Actually it's good news my friend."  Frohike offered.  "The fact they 
don't make these anymore made it easier for us to trace the banks where 
the cabinets were sent to.  We were able to narrow the list to about 
seventy banks that still had them in use.  Most of them are older banks 
located here on the east coast."  
  
Langly had busied himself again on his laptop, tapping the down arrow 
key in a rhythmic pace.  "Hey ..... where's that note?"  
  
Byers handed it back to him while looking at the screen.  Immediately 
the two looked at each other, then to Mulder.  Turning his laptop 
around to face Mulder, Langly held up the note next to the highlighted 
record on the screen.  "There you have it, dude."  
  
The address in his hand and the one on his screen were the same.  A 
sinking feeling came over Mulder with the implications that the 
information alluded to.  
  
  
*************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland  
11:33 PM  
  
Sitting in the darkened living room, Mulder's mind was in high gear.  
The key, Rogers, the envelope, his mother's mysterious death.  After 
talking to the Greenwich P.D. last week, they were ready to close the 
case and mark it unsolved due to the extreme lack of evidence.  One 
slug, pulled from his mother's head, was all they had to go on.  It was all   
coming in a little too close for comfort.  
  
The phone ringing behind him startled him from his thoughts.  Finding 
the cordless phone, he hit the talk button.  "Mul.. Hello?"  
  
"Mulder, it's me."  
  
"Hey, Scully."  He said in a disheartened tone.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Stretching his legs out on the couch, "Everything."  
  
"That bad?"  
  
"Well, I'll let you decide.  The guys found what the key belongs to."  
  
"Let me guess...a safety deposit box at the bank you were sent the 
address of."  
  
Smiling to himself at her resourcefulness.  "I told you, you were 
psychic."    
  
"I just thought I was smart."  
  
Dryly, "Don't forget beautiful."  
  
"After your call I got to thinking.  The key was very distinct looking, I 
don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.   Then when you told me 
about the bank.... things just fell into place."  
  
"Well I'm glad things are falling into place for someone....."  The 
obvious question hung in the air between them.  
  
"Mulder.  I don't know how this is connected to your mother, but 
Rogers did say they would stop at nothing to get this information and 
expose him."  
  
"But, why kill my mother.  Why not Rogers... why her Scully?"  His 
raised voice radiated the irritation of the whole predicament.  
  
Exasperated, "I don't know.... maybe they thought she had the key....or 
whatever information Rogers has ....."  
  
Sighing another long breath, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.... 
I'm just so sick of this crap!"  
  
"I know, Mulder, but we have to stay focused if we're to find out why 
this is happening."  
  
Releasing a deep breath, Scully could hear Mulder on the other end 
doing the same.  "Are we still on for tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yeah..... I've got the guys searching records.  I'm hoping they can hack 
into some old records and tell me exactly who rented the box and for 
how long."  

"You don't think it was your father who rented the box?"

Pausing a second before continuing, "It's possible.... but something tells 
me `Dear ol' Dad' didn't hide away the family secrets in a small South 
Carolina town."
  
"Well, my flight arrives at 5:30.  When will you be there?"  
  
"A little before that.  I told Hastings I would be taking some more time 
to close the estate.... so it wasn't a total lie."  
  
"Okay.  Get some sleep.  I know you're going to be up all night 
wracking your brain with this, but you need some rest if we're going to 
do this."  
  
"I know..... I just wish you were here.... I would sleep better."  
  
Closing her eyes imagining the same idea, "Don't worry, I am with you."  
  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Marriott Inn  
Charleston, SC  
Thursday April 4  
9:32 PM  
  
After settling into their room, Mulder and Scully sat across from each 
other analyzing the data that the Lone Gunmen had been able to provide 
so far.   The Gunmen had faxed the material to Scully's laptop.  
Needless to say, the information was not making sense.  
  
"Okay, we see that this bank hasn't rented many boxes in the past ten 
years and the only one that matches the serial number sequence that 
compares with your key was rented almost two years ago."  
  
Taking her glasses off, Scully rubbed her eyes with the heel of her 
hands, trying to keep her eyes open.  She had gotten as little sleep in 
the past twenty four hours as Mulder had.  
  
"You know what that means, Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah...... Rogers certainly didn't get the key from my father.... not 
unless he dug him up."  
  
Tapping her fingers lightly across the keyboard of her computer at his 
morbid thought.  "Well.... if he wasn't suspicious enough.... he certainly 
is now."  
  
"Scully....why would he lead us to information that could possibly 
damage his campaign...... and why the hell are we in South Carolina 
trying to find out?"  
  
Focusing in on his last question, a sudden thought occurred to Scully.  
Picking up her room key and putting on her shoes she stuck her hand 
out to Mulder.  "If you have some change on you, I think I can tell you  
why."  
  
Looking at her like she had become the eighth wonder of the world, 
Mulder dug into his pants pocket and came up with several dollars in 
change, mostly quarters and newer one dollar coins that had been 
recently approved by the mint.  The bronze looking coins were still new 
enough to look out of place, but life without them was almost becoming 
unbearable.  
  
Taking the offered change, Scully leaned down and kissed his cheek.  
"Be right back."  
  
Whisking out the door, Mulder stared back at he screen of her laptop 
looking for something he may have missed.  Some crucial clue as to 
what was going on here.  It was becoming clearer by the minute that 
they had been summoned on this chase, but for what cause was still not 
determined.  
  
Arriving back a few minutes later, Scully held a couple of cans of soda 
along with a pack of sunflower seeds absconded from the vending 
machine down the hall.  Seeing his favorite snack he looked at her 
curiously.    
  
"Scully I know seeds help me think, but I don't think they hold the 
answers I'm looking for."  
  
Shaking her head wordlessly, Scully pulled the day's local paper from 
under her arm where he hadn't caught sight of it yet.  Plopping it down 
on the table, it unfolded to the front page where in bold type it read:   
CAMPBELL A LOCK FOR PARTY NOMINATION.	  
  
"There's your reason were in South Carolina, Mulder."  
  
Reading the article, Mulder soon figured out why himself.  Campbell 
was the former Governor for the state.  Who was most likely to be the 
guy running against Rogers after the summer conventions?  Campbell.  
How and where would damning information be kept against Rogers?  
Charleston, hometown of the former Governor.  
  
"This still doesn't make sense though..... why would Rogers point us 
right to where the information was if he knew where it was all along."  
  
"I think the question we should be asking here, Mulder is how does he 
know where it is if the box is only two years old?"  
  
"How else indeed...... unless he planted it?"  
  
"What did you once tell me?  To believe the lie you have to live it?"  
  
Interlocking his fingers behind his head, Mulder tipped back and 
descended into all of the possible scenarios.  His eyes shut he ran over 
the ideas about what was in there that could be so important for him to  
find.  What was his connection to all of this.  This was starting to look 
like a poor man's Watergate...... and maybe that's what he was meant to 
find.  
  
"So.... what's in the box?"    
  
Morosely looking back to Scully, "If my worst suspicions are correct, 
we'll find something that brings Rogers history into question."  
  
"You still think he's not behind all of this?"  
  
Letting the chair back down and staring at her, "No.... if my 
worst suspicions are correct, he is most definitely the one behind all of 
this."  
  
  
************  
  
Marriott Inn  
3:53 AM  
  
  
After finally getting to sleep just a few hours before, Mulder and Scully 
had decided not to speculate any more until they had confirmation of 
what was in the box.  Spooned behind Mulder, Scully's arm draped  
across Mulder protectively as if even in her sleep she could keep them 
safe.    
  
The sharp trill of his cell-phone shook both of them awake.  Groaning at 
the intrusion Mulder groped blindly into the darkness and found the 
soft glow of the keypad from his phone.  
  
"Mulder.."  Almost coherent.  
  
"Sorry to wake you dude, but we have something that just couldn't 
wait."  
  
"It better be good Frohike.....I won't be able to keep Scully from 
shooting you if it's not."  
  
Not responding to one of Mulder's usual comments, Frohike's silence 
brought to light the serious nature for which he was calling.  
  
Taking the lead on the other end of the speaker phone, Byers spoke up.  
"Mulder, using a beta version of some tracing software a hacker friend 
of ours wrote, we traced the payments for the rental of  the box in  
question to one Marko Leskosev."  
  
Mildly amused, "And?"  
  
"Mulder.. this dude is Russian Mafia... very bad karma, man,"  Langly 
chimed in with.  
  
"Oh wonderful... maybe I'll be able to get a good deal on some Vodka."  

"No can do.  Dead men don't deal with the finer things in life very well."

"Really?  If he's dead why did you bother calling?"

"It might have something to do with where his body was found."

Knowing the answer before Langly could offer it, a bad feeling settled 
over Mulder.  Mulder knew well from his time in the VCS that members 
of the Mafia who were found dead were usually found for a reason.  

A message.  

A notice.  

To their own.  

To rivals.  

To anyone in their business.
  
"Just thought you would want to know, Mulder.  He's got a rap sheet 
longer than most perps you regularly deal with.  If you want we can 
search the Bureau's computers for a file on him.  If you're being 
watched, they might be tipped off if you pulled it."  
  
Scully was starting to stir next to him while he finished with the guys.  
"Yeah, do it. See who you can link up with him.  Who was his boss and 
what kind of `work' he was into."  Hanging up, he rolled back over into 
Scully's side and held her closer.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
Looking at the clock, "Unfortunately we are..."  
  
"Mulder?"  She used her questioning tone that she normally reserved 
for Mulder when she knew he was holding out.  
  
"Nothing much...... just whoever rented the box is some dead Russian 
Mafia guy found here in Charleston a year or so ago."  
  
Sitting up in bed, Scully turned on the light next to her side of the 
bed.  "And that doesn't bother you?"  
  
Shielding his eyes from the blinding light, "Not at this particular 
moment..... turn off the light... come back to bed.  
  
Relaxing a little at Mulder's seemingly unflappable attitude, she hit the 
light off and crawled back down.  Resting onto his chest, she listened 
for his heartbeat trying to detect any concern that he wasn't showing.   
Sure enough it was slow and steady as usual.  Pulling the covers tightly 
around them she drifted off as well figuring like him, there was nothing 
they could do about it right now.  
  
  
*************  
  
First National Bank of Palmetto  
Charleston, SC  
9:12 AM  
  
  
Catching a southern style breakfast, Scully was sure she could hear 
Mulder's arteries hardening as he scarfed down biscuits, ham and eggs 
along with grits and pancakes.  Sticking to her normal slice of  
cantaloupe and grapefruit, they finished in time to make it to the bank 
just as they were opening the doors.  
  
Following the older gentleman into the vault, he produced his set of 
keys and matched the one Mulder had given him to the one on the 
master key ring kept in the banks safe.  Inserting the master key in with 
the corresponding key held by the assumed renter, the bank manager 
turned them both and slid out the long metal box and handed it to 
Mulder.  He guided them both over to a side room where he instructed 
them to come get him or the guard when they were finished.     
  
The small viewing room was just big enough for both of them to stand 
up and place the box on the small table built into the side of the wall.  
Less than a table, it was really just a shelf.  Staring at the box solemnly,  
Mulder could feel  Scully's reassuring gaze as she took his hand in hers.  
With his free hand, Mulder pulled up the thin metal top to reveal a long 
manila envelope that had been bent and shaped to fit snugly into the  
box.  Not very thick, but not thin, Mulder took the envelope and handed 
it to Scully.  
  
Checking to make sure the door was locked he nodded to her, silently 
asking her to get the show on the road.   As he feared the papers and 
grainy photographs he pulled out confirmed his suspicions.  Trent  
Rogers and Bill Mulder together embracing, shaking hands and looking 
like long lost friends obviously conducting some sort of business.  
Other photos had Rogers sitting and conversing with unknown 
subjects.  Subjects that Mulder thought looked a little too familiar. 
  
"It's a setup..... we've been setup Scully."  
  
Looking through the documents that described meeting places and 
events along with the damning photos, Scully wasn't seeing what he 
was referring to.  Without having to ask, Scully looked up at him 
wanting a clearer understanding.  
  
"Rogers..... he set us up.  He killed my mom .... and God only knows 
what else."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mulder, but I just don't see the connection.... if anything he 
looks like he's the one who's being setup."  
  
Counting on her ever present logic, he smiled to her.  "You see.... that's 
what he wants us to think......  the problem is he didn't count on us 
finding out his plan before he could enact it."  
  
Shaking her head at Mulder's persistently backwards thinking, "Okay, 
I'll bite."  
  
"No...not here.... we have to get out of here... now."     
  
Mulder quickly stuffed the envelope's contents back into the manila 
folder and tucked it into the back of his pants under his coat.  "When 
we leave here, make sure you look sad... I mean really depressed."  
  
"Won't be too hard considering I'm in the dark as usual."     
  
Seeing the underlying hurt in her eyes, he couldn't afford to elaborate 
here.  "I promise, I'll fill you in when were alone."  
  

*************  
  
Marriott Inn  
11:22 AM  
  
Before stepping into their room, Mulder held his finger to his lips 
making sure she wouldn't say anything more out loud to whomever may 
be listening in.  Using the card key, he unlocked the door and let them 
in.    
  
Before she could turn around, Mulder grabbed her shoulder and 
whipped her around into a deep kiss,  "Join me in the shower....."  For 
several more minutes, they stood there kissing and necking as they 
both started unbuttoning each other's clothes.  Unsure if this was for 
someone listening in or not, Scully didn't seem to mind the attention, 
especially after their seperation the past few days.  
  
Whispering into her ear, "Sorry to put on the floor show, but I'm sure 
were being watched.... at the very least listened to."  
  
His whisper was so faint she could barely register it over the pounding 
of her heart as blood rushed throughout her body quicker than normal.  
Pulling her hand, Mulder led her to the bathroom where he started the 
water and waited for it to heat up.  
  
Stepping inside the shower stall, he wondered why he hadn't tried this 
before at home.  It wasn't as if they didn't have a shower stall.  They 
had a nice one with a built in seat in the corner.  The sound of the 
shower along with the overhead fan would drown out any listening 
devices that may be present.    
  
"Mulder, if you wanted to keep whoever guessing we could have just 
turned up the television."  The mischievous tone of her voice told him 
she was just as turned on as he was.  
  
"I would have, but then I wouldn't have had the chance to do this."  
As quickly as he finished, he had pulled Scully under the shower spray 
causing her to shriek at the hot water hitting her cooler skin.  
  
Pulling him along with her under the nozzle, Scully took the opportunity 
to shower his chest with light kisses.  

"God, I missed you."

Leaning down, Mulder found her mouth again.  Tugging, pulling, 
pushing at each other, Scully felt the heat rise up from her center as 
Mulder's hands held her head to his.

Mulder slowly let his hands drift down her shoulders along her arms.  
Scully had taken her time kissing all along his face and down his neck.  
Dipping lower, Mulder embedded his face between her breasts unable 
to decide which one to go for first.  Once he found the right one, he 
opened his mouth and sucked in as much of it as possible.  

Lost in the sensation of the moment, Scully could feel the throbbing 
impulses of blood finding it's way to her core.  "Mulder... yes."

Close to his own breaking point, Mulder stood back up to his full 
height.  Gliding his hands around to her back he started at the shoulder 
blades.  Scully looked up to see why he had stopped only to see the 
twinkle in his eye.

Before she knew it, Mulder's hands slid down her back, over her 
buttocks and settled halfway down her thigh.  Nudging her back against 
the tile wall, he lifted her gently above him.  Looking down to Mulder, 
she urged him to let her slide down to where they wanted to be.

Holding on, with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, Mulder ever 
so slowly let her descend onto him.  The surreal feel of another human 
inhabiting her was exhilarating.  Knowing, seeing, and feeling that it was 
Mulder defined the essence of the moment.  A moment always savored 
as they returned to a place reserved only for them, for as long as they 
would both live and breathe.   
 
Throwing his head back,  the sensation of being in her again always 
brought him close.  The feeling of her so tightly clenched around him 
would cause him to stop his movements.  Gasping for breath, Scully 
tipped his head back down to find his mouth.  Mirroring his actions, she 
let her tongue roam around freely inside him as well.

Lost in her mouth, his body obeyed a sub-conscious command to move 
his hips.  Stroking against her gently, his lips found her glorious neck.  
Her face turned to one side to give him better access, he pinned her 
head against the cold tile with the bridge of his nose.

A sharp thrust into her punctuated his burning desire that was slipping 
from his grasp.  With Scully flush against the side wall, Mulder pulled 
his hips back and thrust into her hard.  A whimper of pleasure escaped 
from Scully,  "More, Mulder.... more .... like that........ yes.."

Taking her cue he repeated the plunge into her.  Again..... harder...... 
faster....... again....... a  little more.

Scully rubbed the back of her head against the tile wall as Mulder 
rocked into her harder and faster with each thrust.  All kinds of 
random thoughts running through her mind.  The predominant ones 
being that they should really take more showers together and the need 
to find more interesting positions like this one.  She had uncovered a 
hidden talent.

Concentrating on her own moans and gasps of pleasure, she felt her self 
coil up in preparation.  She held onto the edge as hard as possible, until 
she let go and stepped off into the sharp, almost electric tingle that 
coursed throughout the rest of her, radiating from below.

Feeling her orgasm, Mulder held himself inside her, enjoying the 
contractions of her body around his.   As they dissipated, he resumed 
where he left off closer than ever.   Hearing the gentle words of the 
woman in his arms urging him to continue on, Mulder felt himself 
unwind the moment she said his name.  Her voice was always the end of 
him.


*************


Coming down was such sweet sorrow.  As Mulder lay on his back on 
the bathtub floor, Scully shielded him from the spray of the shower.  
Nestled closely on top of him, she burrowed her way into his chest alive 
in the afterglow of one of the most intense orgasms she had ever felt.

"Jesus, Mulder..... you been working out behind my back?"

Mulder laughed at himself too, wondering where he had summoned the 
energy for that little stunt.  "Like I said before... you've always been my 
strength, Scully"

Scully rolled her eyes.  "Now if we can only do something about your 
pillow-talk."Another playful dig at his propensity to say something 
incredibly sappy at the strangest times.  

"Speaking of which, I think we came in here for a reason..... besides the 
obvious one that is."

Leaning down, without any great pleasure, Mulder killed the mood by 
enlightening Scully as to his thoughts about the plan Rogers had in 
mind for them.  
  
Pulling back without a question, Scully started to see what Mulder's 
mind had put together.  Admitting he was right was still not easy for her 
to do, but she had seen his leaps of illogical estimations come true one  
time to many for her to discount his theory without more proof of what 
he suspected.   "You think he's had this in mind all along?"  
  
"I don't know ...... but I wouldn't be surprised.  If what he's doing this 
for is what we think....he may very well have started late..... and needed 
some help."  
  
The desperate thoughts of what Rogers could be planning clouded her 
mind Mulder pulled her closer.  They lay there under the shower 
long after the water turned cold feeling the parallel sensation to what  
they had just formulated was the true purpose of their involvement.  
  
  
*************  
  
I-26  
Driving towards Columbia  
2:45 PM  
  
  
After checking out of the hotel, Mulder went to the local rental car 
office and acquired a new car.  One he could pick out, himself.  The lady 
behind the counter gave him a long look at the peculiar customer, but  
obliged him anyway.  Afraid that the car they had gotten earlier was 
bugged, Mulder made up a complaint to the lady and switched vehicles.  
  
The quiet inside the car was only because of the storms raging in the 
minds of it's two occupants trying to piece together this puzzle.  
  
"Mulder, I see your connection, but ...... I just don't quite see the motive 
to kill your mother.  You know... it still could have just been a 
coincidence."  
  
Mulder looked over seeing that Scully was only doing what came 
natural to her.  It was her rational thinking that had brought him back 
and saved  him so many times.  "Yeah... it might be a coincidence.... a 
really bad one, but I just ..... Scully, you know what I think of 
coincidences."  
  
Thinking aloud, Mulder let her in on some more of his depressing 
thoughts.  "I think it was probably a case of setting in motion two 
different agendas.  He could erase the only living proof of his false 
claims and get me involved.  That note I got.... that note was sent for a 
reason.  He knew exactly what buttons to push."  
  
"Well it's obvious this guy knows a lot about you and exactly what 
buttons it takes........"  A horrible sensation fell over Scully as she 
seriously considered her own words.
  
The biggest button that Mulder ever had was herself and she knew it.  
They had used Scully time and time again whenever Mulder was being 
led around for some insidious purpose.  
  
Noting that Scully had trailed off and was deep in thought, Mulder too 
considered her last words.  Now that his mother was dead and Scully 
was by his side...  Margaret Scully.  If they had gone after his mom they  
surely wouldn't stop with Scully's either.    
  
Taking out his cellphone, he didn't wait to discuss this with Scully.  
Quickly dialing the number of the Lone Gunmen he waited for it to pick 
up.    
  
"Lone Gunmen."  `Byers, thank God.'  Mulder thought to himself.  
  
"Byers listen to me ...... get up to Baltimore right now and get Scully's 
mom.  Get her packed for about a week long stay and escort her to San 
Diego.  Use alias's, cash.... whatever...just get her there without anyone  
knowing."  
  
"What's in San Diego?"  
  
"Her son... Scully's brother.  He lives on a military base.  It might be the 
safest place for her right now.  She might be an easy target if the people 
we're going against need another.... button to push."   Looking over to  
Scully, he could see her wheels turning just as fast as his.  
  
"But, Mulder, if these people are as dangerous as you think, they would 
know where to look.  San Diego would be too obvious."  
  
"Maybe so, but I just need a little time.... hopefully they won't have 
enough time or energy to look for her."  
  
Thanking Byers again for his help, he hung up to see Scully staring out 
the window of the passenger side.  Biting on her thumbnail, she was 
trying not to understand what was happening.  
  
"Scully?  Scully.... look at me."  
  
No response was forthcoming.  The interstate they were on was narrow 
and old.  Fearing he might get distracted  he pulled off onto a gravel 
shoulder and parked.    
  
"Scully.  I really feel that they wouldn't go after your mom, but I just 
want to be safe.  I just want to be careful."  
  
Opening her door, Scully got out and slammed the door shut mumbling 
a curse word or two under her breath.  'Oh what have I done now,' 
Mulder asked himself.  
  
Stepping gingerly out of the car, Mulder walked up to her slowly.  
Desperately wanting to hold her or touch her in some way but not 
daring to.    
 
"I know you, Mulder."  Shaking her head, he thought he heard her 
chuckle.  "You wouldn't have sent her to San Diego if you didn't think 
there was a chance of it."
 
Sensing his closeness, Scully turned around to face him.  Looking up at 
him with the silent tears streaking down her face.  "Mulder, when we 
get to Columbia, I'm booking a flight to San Diego...."  
  
Mulder's mouth fell open a bit, but he didn't protest.  Hearing her use 
the word I instead of the usual we stood out most prominently in his 
mind.  

"Scully....if they're watching us then they will know where to 
follow you......"  
  
".....I've lost a sister and a daughter and you... you've lost everyone ... 
your whole damn family to these assholes.... these men who think they 
can control the world....... there is no way in hell I'm losing my mother... 
not after all we've been through!"  

"I'm going there to protect her.  No one will know better what to look 
for if they are tracking her."

"Scully, what if they want to go after you instead.   I just...."  
Mulder bit off his words before what was racing in his mind spilled out 
of his mouth.  He had just inadvertently given her more ammunition for 
getting away from him.  As far away as possible.

"Go ahead, Mulder.  Say it..... SAY IT, DAMNIT!"  Scully said through 
clinched teeth.

Caught up in the moment, "I JUST WANT TO PROTECT YOU!  
All right?  Are you happy now?"

Slowly and deliberately, Scully chose her words carefully. "Mulder, I 
know where this is coming from.   It's coming from the same place it 
always has."  

Stepping closer to him.  "But I'm not her.... I'm not Samantha.....  let me 
go, Mulder.  This guy is playing mind games with you."

Mulder wanted to say something, but stopped at the look of deep 
compassion that was in abundance in her eyes.

"No one will know I'm going there.  If Byers can use an alias... so can I.  
With a field office nearby I can get Skinner to offer around the clock 
protection if I need it..... but Mulder... I need to be there...I need to be 
there this one time for my family..... and for you."  
  
Closing his eyes, he held back what he was about to say.  It would seem 
manipulative and downright hollow in light of his own recent loss.  
Instead he nodded his head slowly and headed back to the car.  A few  
moments later, she rejoined him.    
  

*************  

  
Columbia Regional Airport  
Columbia, SC  
4:39 PM  
  
After calling SAC Hastings to inform her of her mother's recent illness, 
she used up more of her vacation time.  She called Byers back to inform 
him of her plans to meet them in San Diego.  All the while, Mulder  
silently made his way to the ticket counter and bought two tickets.  One 
to D.C. and one to San Diego.  One under his name and one for Scully 
under her alias, paying cash for hers.  A flash of her FBI credentials 
silenced the airline ticket agent into overlooking  the mistaken name.  
  
Approaching her gate, Mulder carried her laptop and carryon with him.  
The first boarding call for her flight was announced.  Dropping her own 
carryon by her side she turned around to face Mulder for the first time  
since that dirt road somewhere along the way.  
  
Looking into his eyes, she willed him to understand her motivations.
  
"For so many years, I was under the misguided notion that I was 
holding you back and then you made me understand I was the one who 
kept you going.  This time, however, I can't be there.  Not if you are to 
see this through without it taking everything from you.....everything 
from us."

Mulder, who had remained silent, drank in her words.  "You put me in 
charge of this one and as your ASAC, I need to be elsewhere.  You get 
him, Agent Mulder. You stop him from using you and your family to 
destroy what we worked so hard to protect all those years when we 
were partners."

"As your partner in life and in love, I'm doing this to insure that what 
you might find will keep us together.  More than anything, I would like 
to be right by your side when you take him down, but you know as well 
as I do if something ever happened to me or my family, you would never 
be able to forgive yourself...... that's why you sent Mom to San Diego.... 
and that's why I must go there too."  
  
Seeing that some of it was starting to sink in, Scully wiped a tear from 
her cheek and continued.  "As you told me one time.... do this for 
yourself, if not for us.  Let me go now....and you concentrate on 
Rogers.  This is something that only you can do."
   
Mulder's eyes were full of admiration and wonder.  The corners of his 
lips drawing into a faint smile.  

"When this is finally over, I'll be there.....and promise me to remember 
this one thing, Mulder."  

Palming his cheek gently, she wanted this to sink in, "If it were never for 
you."  Her head shook back and forth,  "It was always you, Mulder.... 
always you."  
  
Beyond words, Mulder's kiss mixing their tears was full of so much 
meaning.  Holding her tight, he lifted her off her feet and held on tightly.  
"I promise you, Scully."  
  
The final boarding call was announced and Mulder gently set her back 
down.  Looking back up to him with a smile that mirrored his, Scully 
had a sudden idea.  Carefully finding the clasp to her chain that held her  
cross around her neck, she took it off and handed it to Mulder.  "It's 
always showed you the way before....why not now?"  
  
Profoundly touched, Mulder held the cross in his palm remembering the 
other times he had found it.  This time was different, however,  because 
she was offering it to him.  The symbol of her faith was now her 
symbolic faith in him.

Shaking his head, he placed it back in her hand.  "No, keep it.  If this has 
shown me the way....... then I need it to lead me back to you."

A kiss to seal his promise was interrupted by the attendant coughing 
loudly at the door, urging her to board the plane.

Slowly pulling away from her lips, Mulder whispered in her ear.  "I love 
you, Scully."

The soft smile of Dana Katherine Scully lit up his heart.  

"I know you do, Mulder."

Picking up her bag she walked to the ramp leading her away from 
Mulder and to her family.  With a quick wave back she handed her 
boarding pass to the attendant who had taken in the whole scene.  A 
brave and cheerful soul, the attendant couldn't resist asking.  

"Mrs. Hale?  I take it that was the husband?"

Scully thought to herself about all the times they had been mistaken for 
a married couple before.  At more perilous times in their relationship 
how they had scoffed at such a notion.  One time even throwing it in his 
face as he lay in a hospital bed not long ago.  

Scully realized in that moment that maybe their union was that obvious 
to everyone else.
  
With a quick glance back to Mulder, she eyed the attendant before 
continuing down the sloped ramp to the airplane.  

"That's the man I'm married to."  
  
  
  
  
[Culmination]  
  
  
  
  
US Airways  
Flight 232 to Washington, D.C.  
6:02 PM  
  
  
Fingering his beverage, Mulder's mind ran through the day's events 
realizing what Scully had done was the most unselfish act he had 
probably ever witnessed.  Where others would see it as abandonment, 
he knew it was the ultimate symbol of faith and trust between them.  

A trust to take down this evil man and his plans as only he could.  
Forsaking the ability to keep a watchful eye on him, she knew he could 
only dive deeper into the puzzle without her there.  He seriously 
doubted he could have ever done the same for her.  Ironically he 
thought to himself it was her that suggested the ditch.  He would have 
to remember that the next time she accused him of the offense.  

The next time.

In the recent past they had learned so well that love was sometimes 
about letting go.  Letting go of the fears one held and trusting the love 
that would always bring them back.  In the same respect, keeping a 
personal watch out for her family would put both of them at ease and 
allow Mulder the freedom to pursue what he had to in order to bring 
Rogers down.  
  
Starting over in his mind, Mulder thought about what he had seen along 
with what he had been told.  Rogers had come to him under the guise of 
an old family friend, someone who could help ward off any unsavory 
bits of history which might do him harm.  But why?   Why would he 
befriend him if only for the sole purpose of bringing himself down?  

To Mulder it was simple and something Rogers had probably not 
counted on.  All his life, Mulder had been used.  Used by others for 
their own means, thereby fostering an abundant sense of speculation 
and paranoia for those in power.  Along with his excellent abilities of  
perception and applying behavior models that had served to create his 
nickname, no one else was better at picking apart people's motives and 
ambitions.  This was definitely not considered when evaluating 
Mulder's  usefulness for this plan.  
  
Formulating his own plan, Mulder set out to devise a ploy that would 
not only protect him and Scully, but expose Rogers for the traitor 
Mulder had feared he had become.  To do this properly, he would need 
help.  Big league, powerful help that only one person he knew he could 
trust to offer it without questioning him too much.  At one time, the 
questions would have never stopped, but now Skinner knew.  He would 
know not to question when Mulder was going full steam.  
  
  
*************  
  
San Diego Municipal Airport  
8:43 PM  PST  
  
Waiting by the corresponding gate, Byers checked for the hair color of 
the departing passengers looking for Scully.  Margaret Scully, who was 
looking just as feverishly, had not been any fun on the journey 
westward.  Besides not knowing Byers from a stranger walking down 
the street, she had been adamant about calling ahead to Bill to let him 
know of her plans despite the need for discretion.  In the end, Byers had 
let her use his cell phone, not wanting to take a chance.  
  
From around a group of larger men, Scully appeared with her carryon 
and a tempered look of anxiety on her face.  Knowing that look, like all 
mother's knew, Margaret could tell all was not right.  Aside from the 
fact she had been whisked away to her son's home with little warning 
and even less reasoning, the confrontation due would not be easy.  
  
Finding Byers waiting with her mother, Scully let out a small breath of 
relief seeing they had made it safely.  Coming to hug her mother for a 
minute, they exchanged a look that said all would be explained later.  
Byers had bashfully stepped away to allow the reunion.    
  
Looking over to him, Scully found his arm and reassured him of her 
thanks with a light squeeze.  "Thanks a million for doing this, Byers"  
  
With an appreciative smile, "No problem, Agent Scully.  Will there be 
anything else?"  
  
"No..... we can't thank you enough."   Looking back to her mother, 
Scully shot her a look that said she would be right back.  Taking Byers 
to the side, Scully produced an envelope and handed it to him.   

"Byers, inside you will find some money to compensate you for the 
tickets here and back."  
  
"Oh, there's no need... not when you guys are concerned."    
  
Gripping his shoulder loosely, "Yes there is.  You guys have helped us 
more than you could possibly know."  
  
Thumbing through the envelope he noted a smaller one tucked inside.  
Looking back to her for an explanation, he didn't need to prompt her.    
  
"Byers, the other envelope is for Mulder...... in case something were to 
happen to me.  Please don't ever let him see it unless...... I'm gone..."  
  
Stunned at the confidence and trust she was placing in him, Byers 
slowly nodded in understanding.  "Nothing is going to happen, is it?"  
  
"I don't think so, but this is just in case."  
  
Byers drew out a small smile knowing that a very similar envelope was 
waiting for her with the same instructions applied to it if Mulder were to 
ever find an untimely demise.  Fearing his own end a few years back, 
Mulder had come to them with the envelope that bore one name 
on the front.  

Scully.  
  
  
*************  
  
Crystal City, Virginia  
Walter Skinner's Apartment  
12:34 AM  
  
To say Walter Skinner had been surprised to see Mulder at such a late 
hour was not as much as a surprise as if he hadn't just heard what 
Mulder had come to talk to him about.  A plan to subvert the most 
cherished possession the United States had ever held on to.  Freedom. 
Democracy.  The ability to govern one's self.  
  
"Mulder, this just doesn't make sense.... why would he plant evidence 
incriminating himself?"   
  
Remembering the very same look of disbelief from Scully, Mulder 
smiled to himself at the thought.  "Sir, I think he's double crossing me 
into believing he's the guilty one.  He wants me to uncover this, expose 
him and create a scandal."  
  
"And how would that help him?  It would do nothing but destroy him 
and his chances."  
  
"Exactly.  That's what he wants.  You and I know what a scandal could 
do in terms of media coverage and how it could effect the elections this 
fall."  
  
Letting out a long exasperating sigh, "I sure wish you would get to the 
part about how this supposedly helps his campaign."  
  
"I'm getting there.....just answer this one question.  Who would benefit 
the most from the scandal?   Obviously Campbell right?"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Don't you see...it's all just a little too neat.  A little to ..... complete for 
my liking."    
  
"So you think Campbell is not the one behind it?"  
  
The gears were starting to warm up and Mulder was hitting the home 
stretch.  "But, that's what Rogers wants me to think.  He wanted me to 
pursue this, think that he would take himself out of the picture by  
giving me the info."  
  
"But you think he set himself up to have you believe someone....or 
Campbell was after him all along?"  
  
"What better way to create the lie.  Build the smoke-screen that no one 
would question....or could question.   In turn he's setting both Campbell 
and myself up to make it look like he was setup.  A plan so fantastic, the 
media would never believe it.... they would just run with the obvious... 
neat package and clear the way for Rogers to win, unscathed."  
  
Skinner got up and poured himself a drink.  Offering one to Mulder, he 
made two Scotch and sodas to keep himself loose.  Thinking  to himself, 
Skinner was having a hard time believing Mulder.  

`Of all the craziest, looniest ideas I've ever heard him spout, this has to 
be the peace de'resistance.' 
  
"All right, suppose he is double crossing you, why kill your mother?  
What did she have to do with this?"  
  
Taking the offered drink, Mulder fidgeted in his chair a little.  This 
wasn't the first time Mulder had been used like this.  It brought back a 
stinging reminder of Scully and him in a warehouse in Maryland.

"To make me believe.... to make me think that the information was so 
damning to my father and Rogers that they would incite me into 
action..... to make me believe his version..... to make me pursue his 
original lead..... I don't know... piss me off....make it look good, take 
your pick."  
  
"Well I would say it did the trick.  You're all hyped up about nothing 
but pure speculation.  What makes you think you're right?"  
  
"Because they didn't anticipate my resources."  

Pulling a file out of his briefcase he had brought with him, Mulder gave 
it to Skinner.  "Leskosev.  Marko Leskosev.  Russian Mafia, all around 
bad guy for the Vorankovich crime syndicate based out of New York.  
He's the one who rented the box where the material was found..... the 
same box where my father supposedly kept it for the last forty years.  
He was found murdered a year ago in Charleston.  Three shots to the 
chest, center fire.  Classic hit."  

"Anything come up on ballistics?"

"Yes, something quite interesting came up in our Drug/Fire Ballistics 
database.   I hadn't thought to search a particular area of the database 
until....... well....... some things just stick in your memory more than 
others."
  
Handing the report over to Skinner, Mulder sat back to see the absolute 
shock that would register on his face.

Stunned, "Is this...is this correct?"

Nodding to his superior, "Yes it is, sir.  It all makes sense too.... doesn't 
it?"

The weight of the ballistics evidence in hand lent a certain amount of 
realism to what Mulder was suggesting.

Skinner took his own ruminations in and considered the possibilities.  
Sighing, "Well, your record wouldn't exactly help your cause either.  In 
fact, it was probably why you were used in the first place."  
  
"I don't know why exactly, but I have no doubts Rogers knew my father 
and some of the work he was involved in.  I'm sure he also knew of his 
sacrifice  to his own family.  That would make my reasons for 
uncovering my own father and him believable if questioned.  I think 
they covered their bases pretty well."  
  
"And Scully?"  Skinner asked, finding it strange that her name hadn't 
been openly mentioned in the conversation yet.  
  
"Scully is away with her mother.  She..... we wanted them out of 
town in case Rogers tries anything. If he would go after my mother... 
going after her or members of her family wouldn't be too far out in left 
field for this guy.  She may be asking for some protection from a local 
field office if she feels any heat."  
  
Hearing the implied request, Skinner didn't need much else to go on.  
"I'll smooth the way if she needs it."  
  
"Sir, I know he's watching me... I know he's waiting for me to take this 
public.  He is counting on me to unveil the pictures and documents that 
would call into question his past.  He'll then pull out whatever trump 
card  he's holding onto and turn it around, making me and Campbell 
take the fall.   He knows my fascination with cover-ups and 
conspiracies."  
  
"And then what.... he goes on to take the White House?"  
  
"He knows I would unveil the truth at any cost."  
  
Looking Mulder over, Skinner finished his drink in one long swallow.  
Asking the question he had always wanted to would take some 
courage.  

"Do you hate your father that much, Mulder?  Do you hate him that  
much that you would risk your own potential harm to unveil the truth 
about him and your family?"  
  
Looking back down into his own glass, he noted the melting ice mixing 
with the liquor.  A sudden phrase Rogers had once said to him finally 
making sense.   

`The son will avenge his father....'

"No sir.  He might think I hate my father... in fact that was probably 
what he was banking on.  I took a lot of shit when my father was 
implicated with those trying to cover up `Purity Control,' but it was only 
then I knew why he did what he had to."  
  
Standing back up, Mulder put on his coat and set the glass down on the 
coffee table.  His own words taking root, Mulder started to understand 
himself, maybe for the first time.  

"Before my father died, he tried to tell me.  He tried to make amends.  I 
know why he sacrificed my sister now....and I know why he raised me 
the way he did.  He knew ..... and then I knew that his sins would be 
known someday.... and that he didn't want me covering up for him..... 
too much was covered up."  

"No sir, that's how much I loved my father."  
  
Stepping out the door, Skinner reflected back to the dark days when 
Agent Fox Mulder was driven, seemingly without purpose, now 
realizing the aim he had was not of his own making, but by his father's  
design.  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Bill Scully's House  
Saturday, April 6  
7:58 AM  PST  
  
After settling in late the night before, Scully and her mother shared a 
room upstairs next to the master bedroom.  Bill hadn't said much, 
except he was glad to have them come even if he didn't know why it 
was so sudden.   On the ride home from the airport, Scully had informed 
her mom that there were some threats made against her and Mulder 
relating to an earlier case they had worked.  Although not a complete 
lie, it was not a complete truth.   Her mother knew not to push her 
daughter and let it rest at that.    
  
Traveling always wore her mother out and Scully took the opportunity 
to slip out of bed and get ready before her, allowing her mother a few 
extra minutes to herself.  Scully turned the water on and reminisced 
about the last shower she had taken the day before.  

With Mulder.  

A sad smile crept upwards at the corner of her mouth remembering 
what it felt like to be held by him.  Agreeing not to call each other 
directly, in fear of discovery, they used an old system of messages that 
would be forwarded by the Gunmen to each other, just to let each other 
know they were all right.    
  
Creating an anonymous e-mailbox on the Internet at various free e-mail 
servers, she would be able to send the Gunmen a message that would 
be all but untraceable.  Both her and Mulder kept the list of numbers 
and passwords in their wallets for safe keeping.  She would save it for 
another day, fearing it was too soon.  The Gunmen kept the master list 
and would know which message was from whom and when to deliver it.  
  
Dressing in the small bathroom, Scully could hear the kids running 
down the hall eager to catch Saturday morning cartoons and eat 
pancakes like she used to.  The old base house that Bill had was so 
much like the ones she had grown up in, she swore she could count the 
tiles in the ceiling blindfolded if she had to.  
  
Making her way down to the kitchen, her nephews were excited and 
surprised to see their 'Aunt Dana.'  At least that explained to them the 
reason they had bunked together the night before.  Hugging them one 
by one, she made them feel special in the way only favorite aunts could 
do.    
  
Bill was helping the youngest cut his breakfast up when she caught his 
eye.  It held the same cautious concern for her that she had seen last 
night.   He was curious, she could tell, but he wouldn't come right out  
when the others were around.  Not yet anyway.  A few minutes later 
Tara made her way down the steps with their mother laughing and 
talking about the latest exploits of one the brood.  
 
Breakfast wore on and Scully helped Tara as much as she could with the 
children.  Taking whatever small pleasures she could in nurturing her 
nephews, Scully avoided the upcoming question and answer session  
Bill would obviously put her through.  He deserved a few answers, she 
knew.  Showing up to her brother's out of the blue with a weak 
sounding excuse to visit would draw questions from even the most 
accepting  sibling or parent.  
  
Excusing themselves, Tara and Margaret left with the children to visit 
the mall.  Scully knew it was really an attempt by her mother to leave 
her two wayward children alone.  Refreshing her coffee, she refilled 
Bill's cup with the most pleasant expression she could screw to her face 
preparing for the onslaught.  
  
Sipping his coffee, Bill looked earnestly at his younger sister.  Only six 
years her senior, sometimes he felt she was the older one.  All the 
events of her life leading to so much more than even he wanted to 
imagine.  His younger sister, the very capable FBI agent who took on 
criminals by day and personal demons by night.  He was tired of not 
having her love and respect that she used to give so freely and in that 
light, he remembered his mother's words from a few weeks ago asking 
him to see her as a woman capable of choosing her own path and with 
whom she chose to travel it with, no matter what he thought of it.  
  
Literally feeling the tension in the air, "It's been a long time, Dana."  
  
Looking over the rim of her own mug, Scully reflected on that point.  
"Yes it has, Bill."  
  
"I'm glad you came to visit, but I get the feeling from Mom this wasn't 
exactly a social call."  Bill wore that smug look of wariness he had 
perfected.
  
Closing her eyes, she took a last drink of coffee before jumping in and 
giving him the answers he may not be prepared for.  "No, Bill.  I'm sorry 
to put you out like this, but I needed to get Mom away from D.C. for a 
few days."  She braced herself for her next words.  

"We felt it was unsafe to keep her there at this time."  
  
"We?"  
  
Thinking of her partner thousands of miles away, "Yes, Mulder and 
me."  
  
"I see."  Bill drained his cup and took it to the sink where he rinsed it 
out.  The deafening quiet in the kitchen was almost too much to bear.  
Wondering how much a week at the Raddison would cost so she didn't 
have to go through this all week, Scully quickly remembered that this 
was it.  Now or never.  Agree to disagree and move on.  
  
"I suppose that unmarked Taurus that pulled up this morning and the 
one like it that followed Tara and Mom are your people?"  
  
Surprised he had noticed, Skinner had come through after her chat with 
the local field office SAC.  It seems an Assistant Director could pull 
some pretty big strings without much of a story.  "Yes.  That's another 
reason I wanted to be on base.  A little more secure in case I was 
followed here."  
  
"Do I want to know why you felt it necessary to put my family in danger 
also?"  
  
That one  hit below the belt, but for this conversation it was a legal 
blow.  She had weighed her options on the way out here and felt it was 
a calculated risk.  

"That's why I'm here Bill.  The people that may want to harm Mom 
wouldn't just stop with her.   I can take control of the situation and offer 
protection you can't."  

"Control?  You can't even control your own life for God's sake."  

It was finally said  aloud.  What she had believed, she now knew for 
certain and a part of her died in that moment.  The part that remembered 
better times, family vacations and the big brother she once had.

"What about Charlie's wife and kids?"

"They were taken to a safe-house in Maryland."  

Another pull of the strings by Skinner.  Calling in favors by the handful, 
he would see to their safety.
  
His first real signs of anger showing through, "And what pray tell has 
Mulder gotten you into that would threaten our lives.  What asinine 
thing has that son of a bitch done now?"  
  
Quelling her own anger, Scully responded with confidence.  "Nothing.  
This is not of his doing.  He's trailing a suspect who we believe has 
some pretty long reach."
  
"Oh, God.  Don't tell me he's chasing little green men again?"  
  
Lightly chuckling to herself, Scully couldn't help but feel her brother 
was so far from the truth, she didn't have the heart to explain all he had 
done for the very country her brothers and father had so proudly 
served. 
  
In this moment of clarity, Scully understood why Mulder had never 
wanted to set her brother straight.  She understood that for some, the 
truth could never hold the meaning that it did to them.  Wrapped up in  
their on worlds, the ones like her brother were the very ones they had 
worked so hard for all those years.   Knowing their work could never 
garner them any amount of public commendation or credit, she realized 
it was enough for them to know and for them to see to it things were 
right.... for all those who could never know, for all those who never 
would.  
  
Not expecting the humorous reaction from his sister,  Bill was now 
miffed at her response.  "And speaking of which, where is he?  Why 
isn't he here trying to fix this mess he got us into."  
  
Deciding that never had officially come for Bill, she chose to disarm him 
with the precious truth he would  never understand.  "He's right where 
he's always been, Bill."  

`He's saving the world....again.'  
  
  
*************  
  
  
Offices of The Lone Gunmen  
12:37 PM EST  
  
Spending the bulk of the morning hashing out the details of Rogers 
carefully orchestrated plot with the kings of paranoia, Mulder was 
literally stumped on how best to approach the situation.  Skinner  
had offered any help Mulder could use, but right now he and the guys 
were throwing any ideas up in the air trying to find something that 
would fly.  
  
"You know, Mulder, if you're being snooped like you think, maybe we 
can catch who's watching you.  Find him and you might have your next 
piece to the puzzle."  
  
Mulder looked up to Langly's frail frame wondering when The Cure had 
replaced his favorite band to adorn his T-shirt instead of The Ramones.  

"What....you think I can take an ad out in the paper?"  
  
"Sorry, man... just trying to help."  Langly shrunk within himself and 
turned back to his computer.
  
"I know....I'm just tired.  I'm going to go home and sleep on it awhile.... 
I'll think of something."  
  
Grabbing a few of the items he had brought with him along with Scully's 
laptop, Mulder made his way to the door.  As Frohike deftly unlatched 
the various locks on the door, Mulder turned back to face Byers and  
Langly.  "You guys swept our place while we were gone?"  
  
"Yeah, dude.  You were clean..... so we took the liberty of installing a 
few devices of our own."  
  
Looking suspiciously to Frohike, Mulder knew he would offer a clearer 
explanation to Langly's vague comment.  "Yeah, we installed a new toy 
of ours.  You know that guy who invented the laser jammer to foil  
the cops using laser based radar?"  
  
"Yeah?"  Mulder looked somewhat frightened to find out about the 
latest techo gadget offering from his friends.  
  
"Well, it seems as though they work really well on parabolic 
microphones as well.  We installed a few to the windows so if anyone 
is trying to listen in using the latest in laser technology.... oh will they 
be in for a surprise."  Frohike looked back to his fellow comrades and 
back to Mulder with a look of a proud and expectant father.  
  
"Too bad there won't be anyone to listen to, but myself."  Mulder stood 
there shaking his head.  "Thanks guys.  I'll be in touch later."  
  
Stepping out to his car, Mulder turned the key and sped off.  With all of 
his carefulness the past few days, Mulder hadn't given a thought to the 
possibility that he had been followed to the lair of the paranoid geeks.   
Even if that was the case, Mulder would have never guessed the 
Gunmen would be as sloppy to not protect their own offices or perhaps 
in their zeal to thwart others they had made it too easy for those with 
similar know how.  
  
The black Ford Explorer parked around the corner and its occupant 
turned off the receiver inside the briefcase and waited a few minutes 
before following his subject.  He knew where to find him, even 
without the bug he had planted inside the clandestine hole in the wall 
the conspiracy theorists thought was impossible to penetrate.  
  
  
*************  
  
Annapolis, Maryland  
2:43 PM  
  
  
Turning over his side, Mulder felt the warm breath of his love gently 
falling over his features.  Pulling her closer, he wondered just why she 
had decided to come back to D.C. so soon.  Even with her close by she  
wouldn't be as much help, but somewhere in the back of his mind he 
knew he would always need her and right now he just didn't care why 
she was back.  All he wanted to do was hold her the rest of the 
afternoon and wish his nightmare of a life away.  
  
Clutching the pillow tightly against him, Mulder let a small groan of 
pleasure escape as he dreamed a little longer.  Unaware that he had 
company, the line between the waking world and where he was blurred 
slightly deluding his mind into believing his dreams.  Reality would pale 
in comparison.  
  
Deftly making his way inside, Kevin Saunders approached his subject 
with caution, always alert to a possible trap.  Taking his favorite gun 
from his inside holster, he ejected the clip halfway and snapped it in  
again making that familiar sound a magazine always made entering the 
gun handle.  Seeing Mulder's eyes flutter in recognition, Saunders sat 
down on the coffee table in front of his sleeping form.    
  
Pointing the gun mere inches away from his face, Saunders pulled back 
the hammer with undeniable force intent on waking the "Spooky" man 
in front of him.   Seeing more movement behind his eyelids, Saunders  
waited for the sound to register in the FBI agent's mind and summon 
him from his sleep.  
  
A few seconds later, Mulder did indeed awaken to the sight of a gun 
barrel pointed in his face.  

"Oh, shit.....and I was having such a good dream."  
  
"I could see that.  You must have some pretty strong feelings for that 
pillow, Mr. Mulder."  
  
Not amused at the returning comment, Mulder groaned a little in 
discomfort.  "Mind if I sit up for my execution."  
  
Pulling back a bit, "By all means, Mr. Mulder.  I want you to have my 
full attention for this."  
  
Sliding up into the sitting position, Mulder leaned back and took a look 
around.  The blinds were still drawn and there was little light in the 
room.    By habit, Mulder stretched his arm out to turn on a light.  
  
"Uh, unh!  Leave it off."  
  
"Sorry, should have known that one."  Mulder pulled his arm back and 
rested it along the back side of the couch.  "Well... to who do I owe for 
this great pleasure?"  
  
"Let's just say a mutual friend.  A friend who was once my teacher and 
once your informant."  
  
Mulder scrunched his face up trying to make out some more of the 
features on the face of his Saturday afternoon visitor.    
  
Standing up, Saunders moved slowly to the chair next to the fireplace, 
deeper into the shadows, aware he was being studied.  

"Mr. Mulder I was going to keep my presence from you, but since you 
want to know so badly and I fear that trying to find me would keep you 
from what you need to be doing I decided to..... well let's just say I'm 
answering your ad in the paper, shall we?"  
  
Hearing his own joke being used in reference, Mulder knew then who he 
was dealing with. The light of awareness showing in his eyes.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Mulder.  I know all about you and your friends, but despite 
what you want to do, despite what your instincts would have you do, 
you can't worry about who I am."  
  
"And why would that be?"  
  
"Simply because you and I now want the same thing."  
  
Suspicious, "Oh really?  How do you know what I want and how do I 
know which side of the fence your playing on?"  
  
"You will... soon enough.  I just came here to give  you two things.  
One, this picture."
    
From some vest pocket, Saunder's produced a photograph.  Date 
stamped on the back to April 12th of the previous year, Mulder studied 
it to see two figures sitting on a bench in a familiar looking park.  One 
was Trent Rogers puffing on a cigar and the other was a smaller woman 
with strong facial features giving her a distinct look and appearance that 
was familiar to most woman from a certain part of the world.  
  
"Find that woman and you will have your connection.  The connection 
you need to bring Rogers down."  
  
Looking between the photo and the gun wielding man before him, 
Mulder was losing his own sense of belief.  

"Why should I trust you?   This could be just another setup to put me 
on the wrong path."  
  
Snorting back a chuckle, Saunders took on a whole new persona.  
"Yeah, he said you would be this way.  I should have known.  That's 
why long ago, before he died, he told me to give you the second part.... 
the part that would make you understand that even as I do my job, I can 
still help you without compromising my position."

An intense staredown ensued.  "Make no mistake, Mr. Mulder.  
Whatever Rogers requires my job to do..... I won't hesitate to do that 
job."  
  
Seeing the confusion in Mulder's eyes, Saunders wheeled his gun 
around to the wall right next to a front window and fired.  Mulder 
jumped in surprise at the action and didn't have anytime to react until 
the gun was again pointed at him with smoke still seeping out the end of 
the barrel.    
  
"Find that slug and you will know how serious this is  and why I'm 
here."  
  
Walking to the door Saunders put his hand on the knob, resting it there 
before offering one more tidbit of information.  "Money can buy lots of 
things Mr. Mulder.  It can buy life, it can buy death, but it can't buy  
the truth.... you should know that by now."  
  
Slipping off into the hall, the door was shut gently behind the visitor.  
Mulder sat there in silence wondering when his luck would run out.  
Too many times he had found himself in this situation.  Unknown 
agents of subversion visiting him and giving him ways to the truth.  
When would it all come to an end?    
  
Turning his head he looked at the hole in the wall mere inches away 
from the window.  Getting up, he dug through his pocket and pulled out 
a pocket knife that resided on the end of his key-chain and started 
fishing for the correct blade.    
  
Kneeling before the spot, it was barely waist high.  The angle, position 
and placement of the spent bullet was curious at best.  Pre-meditated in 
design.  A twitching of familiarity beginning to burn in his mind,  
Mulder reached for the drawstring that would raise the blinds in the 
window to offer light, knowing it wasn't the primary reason he would be 
tugging on it.  
  
As if a beacon in the night, a symbol of a time long forgotten, the 
message was received in full.  The bottom, right hand pane showing the 
mark of a one time informant found dead on his doorstep years before.   

Masking tape in the shape of an X.  



*************



United States Federal Penitentiary
Marion, Illinois
3:46 PM

The two guards escorting the lone lawyer down the hallway to a small 
holding room looked curiously at each other.  Some heavy duty strings 
had been pulled to get this diminutive ambulance chaser into see the 
prisoner.  To their standards, the prisoner wasn't even considered a 
good one.  A first timer who just happened to get his hand caught in the 
wrong cookie jar.

The heavy steel door opened.  A medium sized room that was made of 
various metals.  The table, chairs, walls...... everything.  All of it bolted 
to the floor, just like the prisoner.  Shackled by his leg irons and 
handcuffs, a chain attached to a U-shaped contraption protruding from 
the floor held him in place.

Stepping inside, the guards finished issuing the lawyer instructions on 
how to call them when he was finished.   Nodding in understanding, the 
suit waited for the door to close behind him before he spoke.

"Good news, my friend.  It looks as though you have an admirer.  One 
who can use your services.  Someone who can get you out of here if 
you ... perform?"

The prisoner smiled a little.  Anyone imprisoned for life would, if just 
given the proper motivation.

"And just who is this friend of mine?"

"Let's just say he's the only one with the power to pardon your sins.... 
or at least will be if you do him one small...... favor.  Nothing much 
really... just a small task."  

His interest piqued, the prisoner leaned forward a bit.

"In fact as a down payment for your services he's already arranged for 
your transfer to a ..... shall we say a minimum security institution."

Mike Jarvis smiled brightly. 


*************


 
San Diego  
5:36 PM PST  
  
Sitting on the back porch, Scully watched her nephews play with a 
football, not at all concerned with it being out of season.  A familiar 
looking baseball glove and ball would sit idly by while the young boys 
did there impressions of Brett Favre and Troy Aikman, respectively.  
Thinking back to similar times she could close her eyes and pretend it 
was her brother's teasing her about her own imitation of her teenage 
football idol, Terry Bradshaw.  Alternating between receivers she would 
take turns with her brothers pretending to be Lynn Swan as her father 
would lob those imaginary touchdown passes.  
  
Catching herself, Dana smiled at the memory of her tomboy ways with 
her brothers always in competition.   How little times had changed, she 
thought ruefully.   Sometime while she had been time traveling in her 
own mind, Tara had sat down beside her watching her sons play with 
their father.  
  
Tara's crescendoing voice alerted Scully to her presence.  "You know, 
Bill tells me you were once the quarterback of the family."  
  
Smiling softy at her sister-in-law, Scully wondered if she was that 
obvious in her quiet meditation.  "You could say I had the desire, but 
not the arm."  
  
"He tries, you know?  He does a poor job of showing it to you, but he 
tries."   
  
Looking at Tara for more clarification on her statement, Scully 
questioned her with a raised eyebrow.    
  
"The famous Scully smirk.  I swear you and Bill can unnerve me when 
you do that thing with your eyebrow.  You two must have gotten it 
from your father, because I've never seen Mom do it."  
  
Remembering a similar observation that Mulder had made one time, 
Scully let it drop  aware of the unconscious gesture she liked to 
make.  "What did you mean by 'he tries'?"  
  
Coming back to her earlier thoughts, " I just mean that Bill has been 
trying to let go of his fears when it comes to you and your life."  
  
"You mean, Mulder."  
  
"Yeah.... to some degree, but Mulder is just an obvious target for Bill.  
He just ... he just wants you to be happy.... and safe."  
  
"Somewhere deep inside, I know that's what he wants, but I've come to 
the realization that no matter what I do, it won't be enough.  It never 
could be."  
  
Listening to her talk, Tara could sense this was no easy conclusion that 
she had arrived at.  
  
"Tara, almost a year ago, I learned to stop living my life for others 
and start living it for myself.  That may sound selfish and arrogant, but 
in my life I have tried to please others for so long before thinking of  
myself...... I was literally losing who I was and who I wanted to be."  
  
Tara continued to take her words in thoughtfully, matching what little 
details she had heard of Dana's life and experiences to what she was 
saying.  Thinking back to the losses and dashed dreams of her sister-in- 
law she could begin to see where she was coming from and where she 
was going.  
  
"I love my brother, Tara, and nothing will ever change that, but it just 
doesn't matter to me what he thinks anymore.  He hasn't seen the things 
I've seen or done the things I've done.  For what it's worth, he can take 
it or leave it.  I won't abandon him, but he no longer carries any 
responsibility for me and until he can get past that feeling.... he won't 
have the sister he wants or deserves."  
  
"That guy Mulder means that much to you... doesn't he?"  
  
Slightly disappointed in Tara, Scully thought she was finally making 
headway with at least one member of her brother's family.  

"That guy Mulder, as you put it, has little to do with Bill's problem!  
This goes way beyond Mulder or whoever I choose to spend my life 
with."  
  
Feeling a bit bad for snapping at Tara, Scully tried to make her 
understand a different way.  

"Tara, if I were to come in here and question your motives and the 
choices you've made in your life and disapprove of who you were, based 
on hearsay and assumptions, would you like me very much?   Would 
Bill like me?" 

  
  
*************  

  
A.D. Skinner's office  
Monday, April 8th  
9:43 AM  
  
  
Informing Skinner of the recent events and what was going on, Mulder 
persuaded Skinner to open an official file on Rogers.  Only he and 
Mulder would be privy to it in case this could come back to haunt  
Skinner.   Mulder allowed this concession in understanding that he was 
asking Skinner to put his own reputation and career on the line as well.    
  
"I took the slug down to the lab this morning.  Ballistics should have an 
answer for us within the hour if it's what I think it is."  
  
Searching Mulder's appearance for signs of doubt or lack of 
commitment, Skinner found none.  "This ....informant who came to see 
you, what makes you believe him?"  
  
"He ..... let's just say his credentials check out."  
  
"You're taking an awful risk if this blows up in your face, Mulder.  A 
risk even I won't be able to help you out of."  
  
"That's what this country was built on right... taking risks... taking 
chances that what you believe in is better for you than what others 
would have you believe."  
  
Having no reply for a classic Mulder insight, Skinner addressed the next 
article of concern.  A grainy photocopy of the photo given to him by 
Saunders was the object of Skinner's focus.  "So... this person  
could unravel the whole thing huh?"  
  
"That's what I believe."  
  
"Where's the original?"    
  
Looking around the office for no reason, "That was sent to some... 
friends of mine.  Some friends that could be of help..... as you may 
remember."  
  
The trio of strange and eccentric friends Skinner remembered at 
Mulder's bedside after the events of the bombing in Dallas.  "You think 
they can put a name to this face?"  
  
With a confident and knowing look to Skinner, "I think they already 
have a direction to go in."  
  
  
  
  
*************  
  
Corner of M & 13th street  
1:39 PM  
  
Making his usual check in with Rogers, Saunders checked his watched 
and dialed the number he was familiar with by heart now.  
  
"Yes?"  Rogers distinct voice greeted the phone as usual.  
  
"Your boy is doing fine.  He should deliver the goods any day now.  
He's contacted several media friends of his with the information and 
should start the final phase of your plan as anticipated.  I'm also 
assuming he will use his Department of Justice resources to unveil this 
plan"  
  
"Good, good that will help me clean that house of cards out as well.... 
any news of who those guys were he was working with."  
  
Trained well over the years to lie with impunity, Saunder's delivered his 
second deception to Rogers in this conversation, aware that his contact 
with Rogers would soon come to an end for good.  "As best I can tell,  
just some low-brow lab boys from the Bureau."  
  
"Hmm... and what about the Scully woman?"  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"I've reconsidered  I think I will use her to ..... facilitate Mulder's 
determination if you know what I mean."  
  
"I thought you were afraid of backlash?"  
  
"Well, let's just say, Mulder's credibility could be further destroyed 
with the media by another murder."  
  
"I don't quite understand..."  Hoping the politician in Rogers would 
come out and spill the beans, Saunders hadn't yet been given the final 
details.  Even though he knew who Rogers was working with to 
secure the position of most powerful man in the world, he knew deep 
down politicians loved to talk.  
  
"You see that's the beauty of it.  When Mulder goes public with 
evidence and proof of my 'supposed' duplicity, I'll be there waiting to 
spring the trap..... my own proof that will make it look as if every action 
and deed he has done has been in collaboration with Campbell and the 
Vorankovich family to set me up.  To further confuse the matter and 
seal their fate, I'll make it look like a deal gone bad..... his mother, his 
former partner....dead in an attempt to reel him in."  

His laughter fading, "Plus, he'll be so devastated... no one would 
believe him if he started to talk."
  
"Well...... it seems you have thought of everything, haven't you?"  
  
"Yes, I have if I do say so myself."  
  
"You know the deal.  Make the deposit, inform me when to make the 
hit and I'll take care of it."  
  
"No.... not this one.  My sources tell me she's fled the area.... I need her 
taken care of, but I need you here with Mulder." 

"You know where she's at?"

"I know someone who might have an idea.  He's been close to her 
before and should know where she would run to. Where she might feel 
safe."
  
Closing his phone, Saunders sat back and replayed the conversation 
through his micro-cassette recorder.  For such a well thought out plan, 
Saunders would never cease to be amazed at how careless his clients 
were.  All this time when Rogers had been so careful not to mention 
specifics and events, he had let himself slip at the slightest hint of 
interest and admiration of his plans.  When they had seemingly thought 
of everything, they were constantly bereft at the everyday mundane 
things such as telephones and conversations.  
  
Taking out the cassette, he was amazed at what he held in his hand.  All 
Mulder would need to take down Rogers.  All Mulder would need to 
possibly take him down, also.  

This was definitely a problem.
  
Struck by his own revelation, Saunder's realized that he might have to 
make more than one special delivery tonight.

  
*************  
  
San Diego  
7:32 PM PST  
  
  
Settling in after a couple of days at her brother's place brought back 
memories of a house full of children and earlier times in her own life.  
Sitting down in front of Bill's computer, Scully fingered the card she had 
fished out of her wallet that held the names and passwords of unborn e-
mail accounts that would be used to contact Mulder through the offices 
of The Lone Gunmen.  Logging into the appropriate site, she fingered  
the sequence of numbers and words in that would create the mailbox on 
the borrowed computer.  Gloria would be sending some mail tonight, 
even if none were waiting for her on the other end.  
  
After creating the account, Scully typed in her message constructed 
with all the love and desire she could formulate into a few simple words.  
Words that would tell Mulder she was all right and not to worry.    
  
Knowing the computers at the Gunmen's office would be scanning 
continuously for e-mail from the account she had created, she hit the 
send button and prepared to wait for the automatic confirmation reply 
that their computers would send back to let her know the message was 
received. 
  
After that, she would erase the files from Bill's computer and scratch 
through that account, never to use it again.  
  
Deciding to wait a few minutes, Scully stood up to get a glass of water 
from the kitchen.  She was two steps there when the returning message 
flashed through to her mailbox awaiting to be opened along with the 
customary thank you letters and terms of service agreements the e-mail 
service would always send.
   
Figuring her throat could wait a few more minutes, she eagerly sat back 
down and opened the message.  
  
  
<From: 30923TLG099@youserve.net  
<To:     83830SDK938@hotmail.com  
  
<To Georgia,  
<  
<Events taking shape.  Progress is being made.  My rootbeer is lonely 
<for your iced tea.  
<
<Will see you soon.  Take care.  
<  
<Love, George  
  
  
*************  
  
Lone Gunmen's office  
10:34 PM EST  
  
While going through the day's results on the search for the mysterious 
woman, Mulder looked up to see the computer in the corner, 
dedicated to watching for e-mail, sound a small chime signaling an 
important piece of mail had been received and the corresponding 
automatic response sent along its way.  
  
Jumping out of his seat a little faster than he had anticipated, Mulder 
made his way to the corner workstation and looked for the mail he 
hoped to find.  Only one piece was waiting and Mulder highlighted it  
without much hesitation.  
  
<To:     30923tlg099@youserve.com  
<From: 83830sdk838@hotmail.com  
<  
<Dear George,  
  
<Unfortunately for you, It's raining sleeping bags here. ; )  I hope 
<things are going well, because I can't stand not knowing.    
<  
<All my strength and all my love,  Gloria  
  


*************  


  
A.D. Skinner's office  
Tuesday, April 9th  
8:57 AM  
  
Calling Mulder early this morning, Skinner had some rather unpleasant 
news waiting for Mulder.  News that would go a long way to helping 
Mulder and a short way to scaring the hell out of  him.  He even debated 
whether or not to give him all of the news, taking the responsibility for 
himself.  He had done it once before, why not now?   

`Because things are different now, Walter.  Because if it were the 
woman you love, you wouldn't want the same thing done to you.'
  
Hearing the familiar knock on the door, Skinner answered for him to 
come in.    
  
"You wanted to see me, sir?"  
  
"Yes, have a seat.  I called you here this morning because of a package 
left on my doorstep last night that I'm sure you would want to listen to."  
  
Pulling out his own micro-cassette player, Skinner played the tape left to 
him by the mysterious source Skinner could only assume was Mulder's 
informant.  The other voice was one he was well familiar with.  Skinner, 
as well as the rest of the nation knew the voice as the one they had 
heard a few years back during the "IRSHAM" scandal.   The same voice 
of one of the few members of Congress to survive the upheaval.  The 
same voice now thought of to be a serious candidate for the Office of 
the President of the United States. 

The conversation played out with the same cold and calculating 
precision in which it was delivered the first time, outlining the upcoming 
hit on Scully as well as confirm his suspicions of who had killed his 
mother.  As Scully would say, they had proof-undeniable of what they 
were dealing with.  
  
As Skinner suspected, the conflicting emotions he saw on Mulder's face 
painted the picture of one who was elated to confirm his suspicions and 
have that evidence so key to the unraveling, but disheartened at how  
easy it was to talk about his loved ones in such a callous and trivial 
way, as if they were just mere pieces on a chess board.  
  
"I think it would be in poor taste to say congratulations on uncovering 
a vast conspiracy to overthrow and manipulate the will of the people of 
this country, don't you?"  
  
Mulder looked down, trying to keep his emotions in check.
  
Skinner continued.  "What I want to know is why this was given to me.  
Did your informant mention anything about me or this office, because if 
this is real, I don't see why it was delivered to me.  Do you?"  
  
Running through his mental filing cabinet, Mulder came across the only 
connection he could think of.  "One time, long ago, Scully came to you 
looking for me.... wanting information through, I believe she said,  
'unofficial channels.'"  
  
The conversation he never wanted to have was close to fruition.  " I 
know."  
  
"You remember the guy who you got my coordinates from?"  
  
"Can't forget him.  He gave me a headache I won't soon forget."  
  
"Those credentials I referred to yesterday?  Those credentials came 
from the predecessor of my informant.... the same guy you met."  
  
Hearing the words, Skinner let them sink in a minute before replying.  
"Well I guess that puts a whole new spin on things, doesn't it?"  
  
Eyeing Skinner suspiciously, "You tell me."  

Ever since hearing the story of how Skinner had walked into his 
apartment bloodied and beat up to relate the information to Scully, 
Mulder had wondered if there was ever some kind of connection 
between X and Skinner.  
  
Feeling the tension in the air of unspoken secrets that would never be 
discussed, "Let's just say... the credentials check out then."  
  
Nodding his head slowly, "Okay, I guess we have an understanding."  
  
Seeing the tacit approval given, Skinner moved on.  "Where do we go 
now?"  
  
"Well, we also confirmed the slug as being from the same gun that killed 
my mother."  
  
Unwavering, Skinner knew as well as Mulder it would be confirmed.  
Sometimes, hunches felt too right to be wrong.  "So I guess that 
clinches it ....... even without the tape."    
  
Just staring down one another for a few moments, Skinner asked the 
obvious.  "So who's the mystery lady?"  
  
"According to my friends and records here at the Bureau, it is one 
Emilla Simonowich.  A republic of Georgia refugee that made her way 
over her about fifteen years ago, fleeing the communist regime of the 
Soviet way of life."  
  
Skinner almost deflated upon hearing the name, right in front of him.  "I 
suppose we aren't lucky enough for the last name to be a coincidence, 
are we?"  
  
Smiling sadly, he knew he liked Skinner for a reason.  If only because he 
reminded him of Scully when he was trying not to see the obvious.  
Shaking his head, "Nope... it's one and the same."  
  
"You mean we now have the two largest, and might I dare add,  
feuding Russian crime families on the East Coast involved?"

"Wait.... it gets better."

Skinner took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, waiting 
impatiently for the next bombshell to be dropped.  "God... what now."

"According to RICO in New York, their surveillance puts Emilla 
Simonovich and Marko Leskosev together on numerous occasions.  
Numerous..... romantic occasions, you might say.  Their sending copies 
of the surveillance photos this afternoon."

"Jesus Christ!"

"RICO also reports that the feud between the families really didn't start 
heating up until Leskosev's death."

"I would say she either picked the wrong boyfriend or she was setting 
him up for her own family's dirty work."  
 
The pieces were coming together in an all too frightening way.  Skinner 
could see the look on Mulder's face as the cogs and wheels were busy 
processing the information.  Skinner thought to himself that was just 
what he was doing.  Processing.  His instincts.  His memory.  But, more 
than that it was his feelings.  The all too important feelings that had 
served Mulder so well with his days in the X-files.

Sensing a Mulder moment of clarity coming on, Skinner sat back to hear 
the oncoming train of Mulder's latest offering, positive it would yield a 
clearer picture.

"At best it would explain who's funding the capital for Rogers 
'extracurricular' activities.... and at worst they are the one's behind it all."

Pacing back and forth, Mulder continued his deliberations aloud.  

"I don't doubt for a second the Vorankovich syndicate would take the 
fall with me and Campbell when this thing plays out.  Leskosev was 
picked... used for that very reason.  What better way to rid yourself of 
the competition?"  
  
"Plays out?"  Skinner asked for clarification.  
  
"Yes... we have no choice but to play this out.... Let Rogers think his 
plan has worked... then catch him unguarded."  
  
"Just in case you've forgotten, Mulder, part of letting this thing play out 
is having Scully killed.  I'm sure it didn't slip your mind."  
  
"No.... I'm taking care of that end," Mulder said with a gleam in his eye. 
 
A gleam that spoke of a plan formulated long before the tape arrived in 
the mix.  A worst case scenario in case it was discovered where she was 
staying. 
 
"What are you thinking?"

Not that he didn't trust Skinner, he just couldn't take the chance of 
anyone knowing his plan, not even Skinner.   Sidestepping the 
question, "I think we have the ace up our sleeves....... now we just need 
to get the players to the table."

"So what's your next move?"

"I think it's time to see some Russians, don't you?"
 
Knowing Mulder's tendency not to elaborate, Skinner had one more 
question.  The one that bothered him most.  

"You see, Mulder, there's one thing that doesn't add up.  Your 
informant is American, right?"  
  
"From what I can tell, why?"  
  
"If Rogers is being backed by the Simonowich family, why would he use 
this informant for his dirty work?"  
  
Mulder hadn't considered this point yet, but had an idea.  " Maybe he 
just wanted a pro who he could cut loose if things got sticky?  I don't 
know....maybe it's fate... maybe..."
  
"Better to be lucky than good?"  
  
Smiling at Skinner in the same way fortune had obviously smiled on him 
by sending him a killer with a conscience, "Maybe sometimes you have 
to be both."  
   
"Luck has a funny way of running out, Mulder."




[A Day of Reckoning]



April 10
6:48 AM

The sun just barely creeping over the horizon, Larry Holland slowly 
walked down his driveway intent on getting the morning paper.  Seeing 
the object of his desire rolled up in his paper box, suddenly he 
remembered that another primary election had taken place in some state 
he couldn't recall the day before, making a weekday edition of the paper 
thicker than normal.

Groggily making his way back to the house, Holland started to unfold it 
and read the headlines proclaiming Rogers had convincingly won the 
latest round and with it his party's nomination.  A few months from now 
the conventions would officially nominate him and send him into what 
was anticipated as the most hotly contested fight for the Presidency in 
the last twenty years.

After reading a few other headlines, Holland folded the paper back up 
and stuck it under his arm.  The small plastic object that fell to the 
ground would have gone unnoticed if it hadn't landed on his big toe.

Reaching down he recognized the handwriting, but couldn't quite place 
it.   In a flowing, erratic print he read the message.  "Play me, ASAP!"

Remembering some of the "mysterious informants" Scully had told him 
about back during her days with the X-files, "Spooky Jr."  was intrigued 
immediately.

`Hey, now we're getting somewhere.' 


*************

7:43 AM

The truck rolled up to the sentry posted outside of the main 
gate.  With the practiced ease of a regular visitor, the man flipped open 
his credentials to the Marine for inspection.  

The man behind the wheel tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, 
waiting patiently for the routine identification check that all military 
bases were consumed with in this day and age.  The practiced efficiency 
of such actions should have made it quicker, but the man behind the 
wheel didn't give any indication something was amiss.

Looking over to his left, the sentry hung up the phone and walked back 
towards the truck.

"Here you are sir.  Proceed to the south entrance, you should find the 
base housing to the left of the main barracks."

Wanting to sound a little more legitimate.  "Could you tell me where I 
could find Midway Avenue, that's where they told me the junction box 
is located."

The guard reached around and grabbed a general map outlining the 
different areas of the Naval base.  "Yes, after you enter the 
neighborhood, take the first left, stay straight and you should find what 
you're looking for.  I believe there is a box at the end of the street if I 
remember correctly."

"Thank you, Private."  

The sentry lifted the gate for the telephone repairman to pass, oblivious 
to the fact his rank had been clearly identified and used by a civilian.



*************


 
1:12 PM


Mulder looked around for the extra bag of sunflower seeds he had lain  
on the passenger seat of the rental car.   Finding they had slipped off 
the other side, he leaned over to retrieve his vice.  The one Scully was 
increasingly becoming annoyed with.  

Having arrived in the `Big Apple' only a few hours before, it didn't take 
long to get to the Federal Building and check in with the RICO unit.  A 
special FBI unit responsible for tracking and monitoring all the major 
crime families in the New York area.  They were made famous by their 
most notorious capture back in the 1980's when, after many attempts, 
they finally brought John Gotti down.  Probably the most well known, 
modern-day Mafia boss in the history of `The Mob.'

After reading the latest surveillance reports, Mulder decided to play a 
few hunches.  Without much time since learning of who Emilla 
Simonowich really was, he hadn't been able to study her much or learn 
any behaviors.  A few mentions of an apartment building she visited or 
a boutique in the trendy uptown shops of Manhattan was the only 
tangible leads he had in tracking her down.   Primarily, Mulder wanted 
to catch her out of her element, away from a familiar neighborhood 
where he might run into trouble if she could signal for help.

Cracking down on another seed, Mulder glanced between the latest 
photo he had borrowed from her dossier and the corner boutique he 
was staking out.  He sat there waiting, biding his time, Skinner's words 
about being lucky still fresh on his mind.


*************

3:57  PM

After gaining entrance to the facility, the man checked the map of the 
surrounding areas looking for possible escape routes and other 
avenues that might be helpful in accomplishing his assignment.

Entering had been easier than he thought possible.  For ones that prided 
themselves on security, he had passed through in his stolen uniform 
with relative ease.  No one had come to re-check his credentials or 
reasons for being there and from the looks of it no one was going to.

Checking the time, he figured he might as well get a few things out to 
make it look like he was working.  When setting up his area, he rested 
the long black slender case that would be used later under the tarp he 
had pulled out to setup.

He looked around one more time.  He figured at the height and angle he 
was going to shoot at, he might have some difficulty with the gun and 
the correct target.  He wasn't especially practiced at this range, but with 
the scope and laser targeting sight it was as simple as a Polaroid.  Point 
and shoot.

The man reviewed his orders that were given to him late the night 
before.  He could almost hear them in his head.  The orders had come 
from the top, orders that would insure success in their plans.  

Take out the subject at all costs.   Failure is not an option.




*************


4:36 PM

The side of one hip already asleep, Mulder shifted to the other trying to 
relieve the dull pain from literally sitting on his butt all day.   Three bags 
of sunflower seeds gone and a few pretzels later, he had nothing.  No 
sign of his intended suspect.  

Figuring he had guessed wrong, Mulder turned the key and brought the 
standard issue Taurus to life.  Taking one last glance at the corner store 
as he hit the gas, he saw a small woman walking towards  the shop.   
The woman was familiar.  Too familiar.  He reached for the photo and 
compared the two while stomping on the brakes.

A litany of curse words and horns came from the cars he was blocking 
behind him as his car was sticking halfway out into the road.  Mulder 
quickly shifted into reverse and pulled back into his space.

The woman he had been waiting for entered the shop and Mulder 
prepared to wait.  Picking up the radio, he instructed his backup he had 
spotted his suspect and informed them to get into position.

Fifteen minutes later a non-descript white van with government plates 
opened it's side door.  The woman in question was ushered into the 
waiting vehicle as soon as she exited the store.   For only a few brief 
seconds, the kicking and screaming could be heard before the van's 
wheel's screeched away, leaving the pedestrians to wonder if they had 
just witnessed a kidnapping.


*************

5:15 PM

Sliding out the back of the truck, the man looked around for any 
suspicious persons in the area.  The sounds of children playing could 
be heard coming from somewhere around the neighborhood off in the 
distance.  

All signs pointed to a successful hit if things remained consistent.  He 
expected a big score for this little assignment.  His job didn't usually 
involve such a risk factor, especially considering he was on an actual 
military base full of Marines and Naval personnel.

Pulling out the harness that he had found in the truck, the man cinched 
it around his waist, pulling the slack out of the heavy nylon corded 
strap.  Satisfied that it was secure, he looked around the back for the 
spiked shoes he had seen earlier.

`Never did like heights,' the man mumbled to himself


*************

7:31 PM


The screaming and thrashing had stopped over thirty minutes ago.  
Although he wasn't familiar with the intricacies with the Russian 
language, Mulder was pretty sure he knew a few curse words when he 
heard them.  

He decided that Emilla had probably tired herself out by now.  Looking 
through the two-way mirror at the small, but tenacious woman, Mulder 
nodded to Skinner who had taken the shuttle up as soon as he heard of 
the capture.

Mulder picked up the cups of coffee and entered the interrogation room.  
Unfamiliar with this particular type of criminal, Mulder decided that the 
firm, but polite way might produce the best results.

Emilla looked wary at the first person she had seen since being thrown 
into the bland room with an obvious glass partition for observers.

Mulder quietly set down the coffee in front of her and took out his pair 
of handcuff keys from his coat pocket.  Reaching around behind her, he 
unfastened the cuffs and removed them.

"Better?"

Emilla looked up to the dashing man who had come to her rescue, 
bringing coffee.  Greedily, she lunged for it and took a deep gulp, while 
glaring at her captor.   "Yes, thank you."

Mulder nodded at her without saying a word.

"Why am I here, I've done nothing."

Remaining silent, Mulder pulled out the photo of Marko Leskosev.  
Laying on his back, the eyes of dead man shot back at her.  

The man she had killed.  

The man she had duped into believing she was in love with.  

The dead man that had turned the feuding families into a bloody and 
brutal war.   

A mistake made that neither Mulder or Rogers had accounted for 
yet.

"Oh... I think you've done quite enough."

Walking back behind her Mulder went on.  "You see..... when you killed 
him... and I do know that it was you that killed him..... you didn't count 
on anyone making the connection....you didn't count on us finding out 
you were seeing Mr. Leskosev.   I mean, who would believe a member 
of the Simonowich family was screwing a `capo' in the Vorankovich 
syndicate?"

"You have nothing," she spat back at Mulder in her Russian accent.

Pulling out several more photos, he laid them out in front of her, 
painting a picture that any grand jury would be able to appreciate.

A surveillance photo of her and Leskosev kissing.

Another photo of her and Rogers together on a park bench.

A photo of the bank in Charleston.

Mulder then played the tape for her.  The tape where Rogers was 
outlining his bold little plan to rig the election.  A plan that would 
disarm the opposing party by throwing them into scandal assuring his 
own victory.

"You see.... we know all about your and Mr. Rogers plans.... we know 
everything.  We know Rogers is trying to rig the elections by 
destroying  his competitor and in exchange for your family helping him, 
he's going to help you get rid of your competition."

"That's not proof.... not proof of me anyway..... I did nothing.... you 
can't prove anything."

TAP, TAP, TAP...

Mulder looked over his shoulder to see Skinner poke his head in the 
door.  "We have it, Mulder."

Looking back to Emilla, Mulder smiled wide enough to show teeth. 
"We can now."  

Mulder walked back to the door and took the evidence bag from 
Skinner.   He looked down at the object for the first time in years.  What 
had once been a common sight for him in their early years had been 
stolen months before and would surely resurface to indict him if 
Rogers plan had ever succeeded.  

"While you were here this afternoon, Ms. Simonowich, we took the 
liberty of checking your place.  We happen to know a few judges who 
like looking around suspicious Russian apartments."

Mulder placed the Whalter PPK .380 that was licensed and registered 
to Dana Scully in front of Emilla. The gun of his former partner could 
point directly at him.  A gun that was stolen from her apartment while 
she was out of town would have given Mulder access and opportunity 
to steal it if implicated in the shooting.  

They had figured on finding it with Mike Jarvis and his belongings, but 
it never materialized unitl now.

Mulder had always suspected the botched burglary at Scully's was a 
little strange.  He also knew that somehow, someday it would come 
back into play.  They didn't call him `Spooky' for nothing.

"You know?  If you weren't so stupid, you might of had a chance."

"Why did you keep it?"  Studying her face as it fell into several shades 
of a pasty white color, Mulder knew the answer, he just wanted to hear 
it out loud.  Maybe if Skinner heard it also, he could ease his conscious 
as well.  No matter how many times he had proven himself he could 
never quite seem to win Skinner over completely.

The defeated look apparent on her face, Emilla finally talked.  "What do 
you want to know?"

He shook his head at her.  "I think we already know everything we need 
to."

"You already have me for murder.... what else do you want?"

"Murder?"  Mulder looked at her incredulously.  

"Why don't you try on treason for size?"

Emilla's face displayed the shock he expected.  

Mulder walked around behind her again.  He slowly leaned down and 
calmly painted a picture for her.  "You see.... murder only gets you 
extradited home or a few years in jail, but treason....... ahh treason gets 
you the chair at Levingworth."

Frightened by the real prospects of death-row, Emilla completely 
cracked.  "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?!?"

Mulder wasn't impressed with her outburst.  A woman facing the real 
prospects of frying in Ol' Sparky in the state of Kansas was enough to 
send anyone into desperation.

Smugly nodding his head in her direction.  "You... all we want....is 
you."

Mulder walked out of the interrogation room, leaving Emilla Simonwich 
to ponder her fate.   A life under an assumed name in some God-
forsaken suburban town where she would die of boredom and cheap 
imitations of good Vodka.


*************

8:49 PM

>From under his tarp the man reached for his case.  The long slender item 
could easily double as an electric guitar case to the untrained eye.  To 
the ones in the know, it was the residence of a high powered sniper rifle 
capable of hitting a marble from five hundred yards if it were in the 
hands of the right user.

Night had fallen and the area was buzzing with activity.  Using the 
darkness of his surroundings the man opened the case and admired his 
good fortune.

Pulling out the stock and barrel, he slowly and meticulously began to 
put the weapon together.  Sliding the pieces into the notches and 
grooves they were designed to fit, the man re-checked the laser sight 
and scope.

A full magazine of ammunition lay inside the case.  The last piece of the 
puzzle that would transform the case's contents into a powerful device 
intended for one purpose and one purpose only.  

To stalk

To hunt

To kill whatever came in its sights.


*************

8:58 PM 


At the top of his climb, the man who had impersonated a telephone 
repairman for the better part of the day, pulled out the rifle from inside 
the tool equipment bag he had hoisted up with him. 

Seeing the house of his intended target across the street and down the 
street a bit, he pulled back the slide, loading a cartridge into the barrel.

Staring into the scope, he could see the occupants of the home stirring 
around.   `Maybe getting ready for dinner?'   He scanned the windows 
looking for his primary target.  The orders, as given, allowed for 
collateral damage as well.  In fact, it had been encouraged.

Through the front bay window, he could see into the living room.  A tall 
red-headed man stood up and walked around the room with his hands 
on his hips.    

Lowering his sights a bit, he could also make out the primary target.  
The vibrant red hair of his intended made for an excellent reference 
point when searching the room for other possible targets.

Putting the gun back down, he reached into his pocket and pulled out 
his cell-phone.


*************


9:08 PM  EST



Shaking hands and welcoming well wishers to this night special events, 
Trent Rogers pressed the flesh as well as any politician could hope for.

With his plans in reach, Rogers exuberance was palatable.  He stopped 
backstage to take some pictures with members of his staff and their 
families before he was to go on stage.

The auditorium had been busy in preparations getting ready for the 
night's event.  A celebration for his closest friends and family members 
along with those that had helped him to secure the nomination with key 
wins in the primary elections.

The painters and carpenters who had painstakingly readied the facility 
for media and other important guests had been working non-stop for the 
past twenty-four hours.  The balloons and confetti all secured to the 
ceiling would come down at the end of his short acceptance speech in 
glorious triumph.  

Although the official celebration was months away at a national 
convention, Rogers had insisted that he speak to `his people.' He was 
ever aware the extra media coverage in print and television would 
secure him more of that `good press' he clamored for.

>From behind him, a black man who always kept his company, produced 
a phone from inside his pocket and handed it to Rogers.

"Mr. Rogers.... you have a call for you."

Rogers, fully aware of this day's importance, looked up sharply.  "Who 
is it?"

"The gentleman says he's from MCI wanting to discuss your long 
distance rates."

Perking up at the news, Rogers took the phone immediately and stepped 
back into a small dressing room off to the side.  Checking around him, 
just to make sure he had lost the Secret Service agent for the moment, 
Rogers took the call.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Rogers, regarding the customers you wanted me to offer my 
services to,  all I need is your final approval and I'll take care of the 
matter."

"Is she.... I mean are they there?"

"Yes, sir.  As best as I can tell, her and her brother's family are sitting 
tight just where you suspected they would be."

Rogers smiled to himself at all the good fortune that had come his way 
recently.  That tidbit of information Saunders had relayed to him about 
Mike Jarvis had paid off.   The Jarvis fellow had been more than willing 
to give any information he could if it would reduce his sentence.  

Rogers laughed to himself, `Full pardon?  Humph!'  What a silly little 
thing that hope could produce from a desperate man was amazing.

Returning to the matter at hand, "By all means, sign them up for your 
service."

Flipping the phone shut, Rogers could hear the crowd out front 
chanting his name, pleading for his appearance.  

The knock on the door was from the Secret Service agent.  "Sir, they're 
ready whenever you are."

Smugly looking at the dressing room mirror, he saw the next President 
of the United States.  `Must be the theme for the day.'


*************


The man reached down for the tarp and pulled out the gun.  Waiting for 
his target to get into position, he checked back to his left again making 
sure his escape route was clear.

He reached into his pocket and drew out the eight inch blade of his 
knife and steeled himself for the event.

The adrenaline and sweat flowing at an unprecedented rate, he raised 
his rifle to center on his primary target.  

Scanning, scanning...... there.   Adjusting the sight a little more, he 
moved his free hand into position to activate the laser beam that would 
paint the target.  No longer than an instant on the head, as soon as it 
was centered, the trigger would be pulled.


*************


9:26 PM EST

Mulder reclined on his bed in the drab hotel room, trying to block out 
the noises from the bustling streets below.  He closed his eyes for the 
first time in weeks content that all was going to be well.  The large 
window beckoned him to walk over and observe the teeming masses.

Emilla had told them everything.  

The clandestine meetings in Folger Park.  

The deal between her family and Rogers to mutually scratch one 
anothers back.  

The arranged romance and assassination of a Vorankovich family 
member.  

The planted photos of Rogers with his father.  

The laundered money from them to help Rogers.

The promise from Rogers to put in office an Attorney General who 
would allow certain oversights to certain crime families.  

The payments to an outside source to push the proper buttons in order 
to set the plan in motion.  

The planned assassination of his mother.  

The continual surveillance of Scully and him, monitoring their progress.  

The attempt to separate them by having her transferred.

Mulder had to laugh at that one.  As it always was, being together was 
the strength, the backbone of what had led them to put the pieces 
together.  Ironic that they would voluntarily separate themselves to 
continue the hunt.  Alone, but together in purpose as well as in their 
hearts.

The thoughts of Scully hadn't been far from his mind all day.  His little 
plan for protecting her was a risk.  He knew she would be upset at him 
for sending the messenger out there to relay his idea, but since hearing 
the plans of an attempt on her life with his very own ears, he didn't 
much care.  

`She can yell, scream, kick and beat the hell out of me as long as she's 
alive,' Mulder thought to himself.

She would be furious with the help he had enlisted, but he only 
hoped it would arrive there in time.  The messenger's background and 
knowledge of the area was important to getting them out of there 
successfully.  

Speaking to no one in particular in the room, "Hell, he even volunteered 
to help." 

A knock on his door shook him from his meditation.  "Yeah, hold on a 
sec."

Checking the peep hole, Mulder unlocked the door and removed the 
chain.  "Come in, Sir."

Skinner walked into his room and went for the remote control 
immediately.

Flipping to one of the all news channels, "I didn't think you would want 
to miss what a fool he's making out of himself one last time."

Seeing, Rogers walk up to the podium, Mulder turned and smiled to 
Skinner.  With Emilla's agreement to testify against Rogers, the case 
would be sealed.  His plans would surely fall through now.

"You know, Sir?  I'm going to enjoy watching him go down."

Skinner returned the smile, agreeing that this would go a long way in 
restoring the reputation and name of Mulder's family as well as chalk 
one up for Mulder himself.


*************

9:29 PM  

The moment approaching, the assassin's hands were shaking a slight bit.  
Although not his first professional hit, it was most definitely the first 
one in this public a place.

Seeing the taller figure through the window, he adjusted his sight one 
last time.  Centering the target, he started to count down to himself.

10..........

9.........

8........

*************

9:31 PM 

Skinner and Mulder sat across from one another oblivious to the 
television while Rogers blared on about some education reform he was 
promising at his celebration.  

Talking about the plans on how to approach this with the Department of 
Justice, Mulder suddenly tuned out Skinner for a second and glanced 
back at the television screen.

A moment in time, sticking out in his mind like something important 
was about to happen.  The tingling sensation prickling at the back of his 
mind, he shook his head and tried to get back to what Skinner was 
saying.


*************

7.......

6......

5.....

4....



Dana Scully looked over her shoulder, looking for her mother.  She had 
been listening to their discussion the whole time.  

The message received.  

The plan Mulder had sent was arguably sound.   No one would ever 
look for her and her family there.

With no reason at all, she reached for the golden cross at the base of 
her neck and fingered it lightly thinking how much Mulder loved her.  

How much she loved him.

How much they needed each other.

Looking back up to the tall red-head in front of her, "It sounds like a 
good idea, even if it is Mulder's."

The taller man she knew as a brother in arms smiled at the in-joke.


*************

3...

2..

1.

>From his position, the assassin hit the laser actuator.

The target lit.

The trigger pulled.

The split second, slow motion of the bullet exiting the barrel, rang out in 
the night.

The primary target's head exploded in a pink cloud of membrane and 
bone.

The scream of innocents, the only evidence of what was done.


*************


Feeling it instead of only hearing it, both Skinner and Mulder turned to 
see the figure on television collapse into a heap.

The screams of panic emanating from the television almost drowned out 
the reporter who was frantically repeating the same thing over and over.

"HE'S BEEN SHOT.... TRENT ROGERS HAS BEEN SHOT.... 
PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING AND YELLING....... I REPEAT .... 
TRENT ROGERS HAS BEEN SERIOUSLY INJURED...."

Mulder and Skinner looked at each other shocked.  Their mouths hung 
open, unable to process the events of the past few seconds.


*************

The same moment three thousand miles west......



The only thing Scully saw was the crack of the glass a millisecond 
before she heard the gunshot.

Hit from behind, her former partner Larry Holland's eyes grew wide in 
pain as he slumped forward into her arms.  

"DANA!"  

She took him down to the floor.  Reaching around to the small of her 
back, Scully drew her gun.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN."  Scully yelled.    Everyone that was 
present in the living room hit the floor.  A few screams of fright came 
from the other women in the room.

Seeing the panicked look on Bill's face, she needed his help.  She 
needed him to help himself.

"Bill, get upstairs, get the kids.... keep them down and away from the 
windows."

BANG ......  ZIP.......

Having not seen his sister's FBI mode in action before, Bill quickly 
scampered up the stairs as a few more bullets ricochet off the walls 
behind him.

Gasping for air, Larry Holland thrashed around in pain.  Scully crawled 
over to him and checked his wound.   The exit wound just below his 
solar plexus defied logic.  How she had managed not to be hit must have 
been a miracle.  

The blood flowing freely from the front of his chest told her the wound 
had passed clean through.

"Larry..... it'll be okay.... everything will be okay......don't leave me 
now partner."

Hearing Scully's voice prompted Larry to reach out for her, latching on 
to her arm.  "D-Dana.....Dana.......don't .... don't ...blame Mulder for 
this..... he only wanted me.... to get you.....get you a message.....this 
is.......my fault....."

Shaking her head, "No....no, Larry..... it's no one's fault...... nobody 
knew this would happen...."

In that instant, they both knew that these were his last few moments.  
She had seen too many wounds to know what was fatal and Larry could 
feel the end was coming as well.

"Tell..... tell Denise I loved her.......I loved her so much ......"

The words stinging her heart, Scully's eyes clouded with tears.  
"No....you tell her.... hold on Larry and you tell her yourself..."

Larry's smile faded into another grimace as pain washed over him.  
"You..... you can't fool me doc..... I know this is the end of the road 
...for me...."

Scully cried for her partner, the one who had come to bring her a plan 
from Mulder, knowing he was right.   All the medical science in the 
world couldn't stop what was happening.

"Just..... do me one more thing, Dana........make sure Mulder doesn't .... 
have to go through..... what Denise will......"

Scully nodded her head, unable to say anything.  His instructions clear 
and precise.  Save herself and Mulder by finding the guy who did this.

"....and give her...... give her these last few minutes of me........ make her 
understand as well.......go get him..."

Scully's tears fell onto his face as she cradled his head.  "I will Larry, I 
will......"

With that handsome smile  he had perfected over the years.  The one 
that swept his high school sweetheart to the alter, Larry Holland said his 
last words with a single tear escaping down his cheek.

"Then what are you waiting for, partner...."

Hearing those words again, in this context, pulled at her desperately. 

Frantically, Scully looked around the room.  "Tara, get over here 
NOW!"  A soft request that turned into a demand

ZIP......CRACK......BANG....  

The shots were coming now without warning.  She only then realized 
then the sniper was using some sort of silenced weapon.  The muffled 
sounds of a rifle's gunshots were faint at best.

Both Tara and Margaret Scully crawled towards Holland, causing a few 
more bullets to fly through the window.  

"Tara, keep pressure on his wound..... hold down with all your 
strength."

Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed 911.  "This is Special Agent Dana 
Scully with the FBI!  I have an agent down!   I'm at 211 Midway 
Avenue!  It's a gunshot wound to the chest.....send the EMT STAT!"

Shots continued to zip through the living room as she checked for 
Holland's pulse.  Uneven and thready, she knew his time was running 
out.  The slug must have been from an extremely high powered rifle to 
cut right through his body.  The angle of the wound told her the sniper 
must have been from some place higher up.

Scully also knew that he might have been better off if the bullet had 
lodged next to an artery.  Instead, it must have hit one, producing 
the massive blood loss.

In the background she could hear more shots being fired.  This time 
they sounded different and they weren't coming in their direction.

Checking her clip, she pulled back the slide and chambered a round.  

Margaret and Tara were doing their best to calm Larry as best as 
possible.  Of course by now, Margaret was calling him by his first name, 
just like she had with Mulder.  Wiping his brow and holding his hand, 
she kept his eyes focused on her, trying to keep him warm.


*************

9:32 EST

Throwing the rifle down, the carpenter who had just killed Trent Rogers 
picked up the can of paint he had used as a decoy in securing his bird's 
eye view of the situation.  The Secret Service had never come back to 
check on him.

He doused the rifle with  the paint in an effort to conceal whatever 
forensic evidence he might have left behind.  His knife still in its 
sheath, he drew it out and ran to his left on his planned escape route.

Along the way he cut the main cord to the nets that held hundreds, if 
not thousands of balloons, in an effort to add to the panic.

He ran along the catwalk stripping his overalls for the police uniform 
that lay under them.  Pulling out a revolver, the assassin blended in to 
the hundreds of people fleeing the auditorium looking like another 
policeman stunned by the recent developments.




*************



Something deep inside Scully snapped.  The sight of her former partner 
dying on the living floor along with the knowledge that she or one of 
her family members had been the intended target, made her furious.

Crawling along the floor, Scully made her way to the front hallway and 
peeked outside.  To her horror she saw the two Military Policemen 
sprawled out in the street, obviously hurt from the gunfight.

Estimating where the sniper must have been from where Holland had 
been standing and where the M.P.s now lay, she calculated his position.  

Faster than she thought possible, Scully ran to the back of the house 
and out the door.  

Coming around the side of the house, she could see the telephone 
company's repair truck parked a few blocks down.  Ducking just below 
the fence line, Scully ran up a few yards and surveyed the situation.
  
Nothing

No one in sight.

The desperation she felt made her heart stop. The shots had stopped 
coming for the past minute.  She feared whoever it was had gotten 
away.

Still in the crouched position, Scully crept along the fence line.  The 
repair truck was only about thirty yards from her now.  Sirens from the 
ambulance could be heard in the background.   With the shooter still 
possibly out there, she couldn't wait for help to arrive only to be shot 
down in cold blood like the M.P.s.

No time for backup.

No time for a plan.

No time for one last prayer

Scully closed her eyes and steeled herself against what unknown forces 
lay beyond the fence line into the open road in front of her.

The calm was eerie.  The noise that usually accompanied the 
neighborhood was gone.  All signs of life and normality had been driven 
away by the gunshots of two dead officers in the middle of the road. 
The sirens getting closer canceled out any ideas of countdown.

A dog barked restlessly in the distance.

Somebody's grill was cooking steaks.

Someone's child shrieked into the early dusk hour.

The moment was at hand.  Coming out of the crouch reminded her of 
Academy exercises that preached confidence and the ability to react 
instinctually.

Let the training take over.

It hadn't failed her yet.

Scully's muscles betrayed her thoughts as she pushed away from the 
fence line to face area head on from where the shots were coming.

"FREEZE FBI"

A nylon harness lay on the ground, abandoned with a few scattered 
tools behind the van.  A back door was still flung open.  Still alert to the 
possibility of an ambush, Scully ran with all the stealth she could.  

Coming up to the side of the van, she backed herself up against it.  
Looking to her left she could see through the side view mirror the 
front seats were empty.  

Her gun pulled up even with her eyes, she wheeled around into the open 
confines of the back end of the van.

Empty.

The breath full of frustration and relief flew from her lungs.

Resigning herself to the fact that it was over, she turned to go back into 
the house and check on Holland.  

The ambulance was barreling around the corner when she felt the impact 
of the bullet double her over in sharp pain.

She saw the assailant that had hidden under the van scamper off into the 
night. 
  
With one last effort, Scully trained her gun on the diminishing figure 
hoping to put right what had all gone so wrong.

Shaky and fighting off the oncoming blackness of pain and blood loss, 
she squeezed the trigger.

Scully could not only hear, but feel the ambulance pull up behind her.  
Voices talking about a chest wound and requests for more help 
regarding their new situation murmured in the background.

She never saw the results of her shot.

By then, it was too late.

A dying woman's last thoughts found a voice.

"Mulder....I'm sorry.....I'm sorry...."


*************

10:58 PM EST


Watching the networks and all-news cable channels contend for the best 
interviews and eye witnesses to the landmark event was surreal.  The 
events of the assassination of a Presidential candidate were almost too 
much to comprehend.   Anchors, unprepared, flustered with notes they 
never thought to take about the upstart who would capture a nation in a 
way he had never planned.

Plans had changed.   

Having just secured his party's nomination and a final showdown with 
his chief competitor, Rogers now lay dead.   A single gunshot wound to 
the head, literally taking with it the brains behind a conspiracy to take 
from the American people what they cherished most.  

Democracy.

Mulder and Skinner sat in a stupor of amazement and frustration.  To be 
so close to taking Rogers down themselves, only to have it done by 
someone else, was a defeat no matter how you looked at it.

In that moment, Mulder knew it was all over.  

There would be not petition to the Attorney General to move forward 
with an indictment of treason,  murder, or federal election tampering.

Kevin Saunders, Mulder's unknown informant, would disappear back 
into the woodwork and never be heard from again.

Questions would remain.

Answers forgotten.

Trent Rogers was now a martyr.  Not a turncoat.

Without surprise, Skinner's phone rang.  A word or two from the 
Director about opening an investigation as soon as possible was 
expected.  

The fallout would be anticipated.

The nation would mourn another fallen hero, never knowing the truth.

While Skinner was taking notes and making preliminary plans, Mulder 
tuned him out.   What had all of this been about?  The past weeks and 
months of agonizing torture.  

The death of his mother.  

The lies and deceptions.  

Putting all their lives in danger.

And Scully.

The forced separation and the strain on their relationship when 
everything had been going so well.

Would she want to continue this?  Putting up with him?  His past?  Not 
knowing when the next skeleton would fall out of the closet and haunt 
both of them?

Mulder's incessant thoughts were just warming up when Skinner's pale 
complexion broke through into his meditation.  Skinner's usual stoic 
demeanor was given away through his eyes, searching out Mulder's.

Mulder knew.  

He had always known.

He would always know.

Skinner didn't know what to say.  His next few words were likely to 
unglue Mulder from the fine strands of sanity he had held onto for all 
these years.

"Mulder.  I just got word from the San Diego field office......"



*************



San Diego Memorial Hospital
Urgent Care Trauma Center

April 11
11:21 AM PST


The all night flights connecting him to various cities that would lead 
Mulder to see Scully had been excruciating.  The only word  Skinner 
had received was that three people were dead and two more were 
clinging to life.

The Military Police had taken over the situation as soon as events 
warranted, securing all information of a terrorist style hit on a major 
U.S. Naval base from the general public.

A combination of inept air-phones, bungling desk sergeants, and the 
time of night had all conspired to keep them in the dark.  After fits of 
sleep filled with nightmarish pictures that would haunt him, Mulder and 
Skinner had finally touched down just over twenty minutes ago.  

No luggage to worry about, they met another field agent at the gate and 
ran through the terminal to the waiting car.  The avalanche of vague 
information plagued them again as the field agent informed them no 
official word was being released until the families had given say so, but 
two Marine guards were dead along with at least one agent and one 
civilian.  

They had lost another one overnight.

All the injured or dead had been taken to San Diego Memorial's Trauma 
Center.

The picture was looking worse by the minute.

Little information.

No media coverage.

No FBI involvement.

If he had known better, Mulder might of suspected a cover up.  In fact 
that was the very direction his mind was taking when the rented Taurus 
pulled into the Trauma Center's  parking lot.

As soon as the car had paused to let another car pass by, Mulder jumped 
from the car and ran as fast as he could to the front entrance, pulling out 
his badge along the way in preparation.

The sliding doors briskly opening up to him made his heart clinch.  No 
one came through these doors as a patient ready to leave in a few hours, 
if they left at all.  Mulder could see the admitting desk centered in front 
of him, not more than ten yards away.

Projecting his voice above all others in the immediate vicinity, "My 
name is Fox Mulder, I'm with the FBI,  did you admit a Dana Scully last 
evening?"

"Fox?"

His given name used, meant only one thing.   Turning around to face 
Margaret Scully, Mulder saw the last thing in the world he wanted to.

Bill Scully, his wife, and the kids standing behind Margaret Scully, all 
stricken with similar expressions.

Scully had been one of the dead.  

She was most likely mistaken for a civilian while staying at her 
brother's.

Margaret stood before him, with her arm around another woman, eyes 
red rimmed in grief.  The look of anguish on her face reflecting his 
broken promise to her.  

He let her down.  

Again.

Mulder's throat tightened as if he were about to heave the stale airplane 
food he had shoved down a few hours before after taking off from 
Minneapolis.   Another connecting flight from Las Vegas had brought 
him to this end.

His own.  

The scope of what happened was seeping into every cell in his body.  
His heart clutched tightly in his chest, the pain not only emotional, but 
now a true physical manifestation.  He reached down and grabbed his 
knees, trying to stop his labored breathing.   His eyes shed tears that his 
body had yet to feel.

So close and yet so far.  

The story of their existence she had once voiced, only to face its 
inherent cruelties head on in this last tragic twist of fate.  

Rogers was no longer a threat, but he and the universal forces 
surrounding them had won again.  

This time for good.

As the next few seconds came, Mulder would remember this moment 
for eternity.  The moment that all did not seem possible in this 
unyielding life of his. 

The hand that fell to Mulder's shoulder was heavier than he expected.  
At this point in time with all of his sensations rebelling against him, he 
knew Skinner had probably come to take him away.  

The last person the Scully family would want to see now was anyone 
named Mulder.

Taking one last breath he rose back up to see Bill Scully's face even 
with his, the hand still on his shoulder.

"I don't know why I'm even doing this, but....... I know about you two, 
Mulder.  I know how she .......... come on."

The trance-like existence Mulder was floating in instructed his legs to 
follow the older brother who still had his hand on his shoulder, pushing 
him up the hallway to some unknown destination.  

Mulder's mind, entrenched in the fog of pain, knew where he was being 
led to.  He couldn't even believe it had come to this.  Bill Scully walking 
him down a hospital corridor to show him the body.  It was only fitting, 
he gleamed in a rare moment of certain thought.

Like his sister, Bill Scully would show him proof of his deed.  His 
undoing.  His actions.   Knowing what he would walk into, Mulder felt 
it only right Bill Scully exact his final revenge. 

Winding up in front of a set of double doors, Bill hit a button that would 
ring the attendant.  A police officer exited a moment later with a 
questioning look towards Bill.

"It's okay officer, he's........... he's family."

The officer stepped aside to open the door wider to the two men.

Instead of a steel slab, a bed.

Instead of medical examiners, nurses.

Instead of eerie calm, the sound of machines breathing life back into 
patients.

Instead of a morgue, a recovery room protected by armed policeman 
and glass cubicles isolating each patient.

Then he saw her.

Scully ...... alive and breathing.

A figure being attended to.  The doctors that blocked the sight of her 
parted like the Red Sea itself, revealing the most glorious sight he had 
ever hoped to see.

His body again betrayed him.  Too undone to know what was the truth 
anymore, Mulder tried in vain to steady himself.

"She took one in the lower abdomen...... she was lucky."

Mulder looked back to the older Scully in amazement.

"She came out of surgery just before you arrived.  The doctors say the 
damage was compartmentalized..... the EMTs had just pulled up when 
she was shot last night."

Mulder's brain raced to put the pieces together.  "But, I was told a 
civilian and an agent were dead?"

Bill Scully cocked his head towards his sister, "The civilian was the 
sniper that she picked off.......he died this morning."   

Bill looked at her fully before continuing.  "She shot him from almost 
fifty yards away, Mulder."

Mulder and Bill turned back to each other.  Appraising one another, 
they afforded themselves a moment of admiration and pride for Scully 
before Mulder let a brief chuckle escape.

Mulder's relief washed over him in waves.  At that moment he could 
have walked to the moon and back, but the earlier scene in the lobby 
reminded him someone else wasn't as fortunate.





[Restoration]





Room #223
San Diego Memorial Hospital
April 14
10:12  AM


Scully had been unconscious for almost four full days.  The doctors had 
moved her out of the ICU to a more private room that was still 
monitored feverishly by a team of specialists.

The light coma she had slipped into was induced by the doctors after 
surgery to relieve any excess pressure from her system.  Giving her 
small body the opportunity to recover from such a major shock.  

Mulder had stayed with her as much as he allowed to, but fighting off 
Mrs. Scully's orders to rest periodically was impossible.  

The past three days had been impossible.  

Since taking him in to see Scully for the first time, Bill Scully had kept 
his distance and any comments from Mulder.  The small olive branch 
that was extended hadn't gone unnoticed by Mulder, but any such 
opportunities to reciprocate didn't seem like they would be available any 
time soon.

The distinct California sun shone through the window this morning.  
Mrs. Scully had left since spending the night watching over her.  
Silently, both her and Mulder had made a vow that she wouldn't wake 
up from this without someone there to greet her.

Scully's vitals had been slowly improving during the past twenty four 
hours.  The doctors said it was only a matter of time before she would 
awaken on her own.

Sitting in a hospital chair like many of the ones he had before, Mulder 
rested his face in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees.  
Slumped over, he would miss the flutter of her eyes signaling her 
rebirth.

"M-Mu-Mulder..."

Mulder's head shot up as if he was the one that had been shot.  Before 
him, lay the prettiest shade of blue he had thought he might never see 
again.

"Hey, beautiful."  Grabbing her hand, Scully turned her head to see the 
person she had instinctually first called out for.  

He lowered the guard rail and leaned over her, preventing her from 
making any sudden moves she wasn't prepared for.  Gently sitting 
down, he pulled her hand to his lips, closing his eyes.  

A silent prayer of thanks was made to an unknown God that she had 
been delivered back to him safely again.

Scully was confused and disoriented as she regained consciousness.  
Several machines on the other side of the bed also began to light up and 
make noises he had yet to hear.  Soon, a nurse or doctor from the 
trauma team would be there to confront their recovering patient.

Scully's small smile was only diminished by the resurfacing memories of 
her last few minutes of knowledge from the previous events coming 
back to her.  

"The sn-sniper.... d-did he get away?"

Mulder brushed away the few strands of hair that had fallen in her face 
by her sudden movements.

"No... he was ...caught."

The relief was short lived as her mind played back further into time, 
revealing a horrifying scene.

"Larry?"

One side of Mulder's mouth quirked up as he tried to keep himself 
strong for what was about to happen.

"S-Scully..... Agent Holland didn't make it."

Scully closed her eyes wanting to sink back into the deep sleep that had 
been so comforting.  It wasn't a surprise, however.   She had known as 
soon as Holland's shirt was opened that the sheer amount of blood 
flowing out would be hard to stop in an Emergency Room, let alone her 
brother's living room floor.

The squeeze of Mulder's hand brought her back to him.  Looking back 
up to him, the tears falling down his face onto her bedding mirrored her 
own.  Leaning down, Mulder kissed her cheek and pressed his face close 
to hers.

"I'm sorry, Scully..... I'm so sorry...... I shouldn't have sent him..."

Scully's memory of Agent Larry Holland standing in front of her 
relating Mulder's backup plan to save her and her family.  

Then the crack of the glass and the pooling blood from under Holland's 
shirt.  The pain of the mental image caused her to grip Mulder's hand 
fiercely in return.  

"D-Don't do this, Mulder....... it wasn't your fault.... Larry told me...."  

Scully's attempt to say to much brought on a fit of coughing that was 
laced with the pain of her injury.

"Larry told me about the tape you sent to him......... about how you 
asked for his help in getting a message to me......he wanted to do this... 
he even offered to hide us at his parents house..."

 Mulder knew she was speaking the truth, but he would never stop 
feeling somewhat responsible for sending Agent Holland to her.  The 
selfish thoughts of not sending him were worse, because he knew Scully 
might be the one who's funeral he had attended the day before.

A funeral, as far as he was concerned, was happy not to attend with 
Scully.  The small service attended by close family and a few friends 
from D.C., as well as Margaret Scully.  

It was Margaret Scully who had relayed the details of Larry and Dana's 
last few moments together to Denise in that hospital lobby when Mulder 
walked in, fearful that her own daughter wouldn't be able to keep her 
promise to Larry and his wife.  

With Denise's parents unable to make the trip at such short notice, the 
elder Scully stood in for them.  Mulder didn't ever want to tell Scully 
how he begged Denise for forgiveness.  He would never want her know 
how Denise had enfolded him in her embrace and granted him just that, 
knowing Larry had wanted it that way.

Moreover, Mulder would never want Scully to know how much he 
cried on her own shoulder the previous morning before the funeral, 
begging for God to take him instead of Larry.   

Mulder was so tired of all the pain.  Tired of causing grief where there 
should be nothing but happiness.

Now, drowning in his own relief at having Scully back, it was almost 
too much to ask for anything more.  She was alive, well and would 
make another full recovery.

"Scully..... but you know me.."  He bit off a chuckle at himself.

"I do know you, Mulder..... that's why I can't let you do this to 
yourself..... not this time.....Larry wanted to help us.... he was only 
doing what you would have done..... promise me...."

She was interrupted by another fit of coughing.  "Promise me."

There wasn't anything Mulder wouldn't do for her and at this moment 
he resigned himself to taking some advice from an old friend.  He just let 
it go.   

"I promise, Scully."

The smile communicating things that words could not was broken by 
the doctors entering to check on Scully.  Standing up, he leaned down 
and kissed her lips for the first time in what had seemed an eternity.

Drawing back, he let the doctors get to the business at hand.  He took a 
last look at Scully and slipped out the door.   

Sitting down in a chair outside her hospital room door, Mulder relaxed 
for the first time in ages.  He propped his head back against the wall and 
closed his eyes.

"Fox..... what's wrong?"

Hearing the concern in Mrs. Scully's voice rather than seeing it, he 
popped his eyes open to see her approach.

"Oh... nothing.  She's being looked at by the doctors.  They want to see 
how she's doing since..."   Mulder realized in that moment, Mrs. Scully 
still didn't know.

"Mrs. Scully.... she's awake... she came to about ten minutes ago."

Her eyes wide in anticipation, Mrs.Scully looked to him.  

His own teeth filled smile let her know all she wanted to.  "She's 
fine....everything ..... she's going to be all right."

Mrs. Scully closed her eyes in silent thanks and took Mulder's hand.  
She began to shake as she tried to hold on to herself, not wanting to cry 
again.  She had been crying too much these past few days. 

"I need to thank you, Fox."

"What for?"

"For saving her again.  For being there for her.  You have always been 
there for her.... and for me when things looked like .... like all was lost."

"I didn't save her.... she was almost killed because of who I am...."

"Maybe so... but I don't doubt for a minute there is any place she would 
rather be, than right by your side..... that's why she keeps coming back 
to you....."

"Your crusade has cost both of you dearly.  You have been through 
more than anyone could ever believe, I know.  But you two have always 
won..... you've always been together..... even when you both were lost."

She squeezed their hands together, wanting him to understand her 
words and take them to heart.  

"And though most people would say you two lost too much along the 
way, that is why you've won.  Because you wouldn't allow yourselves 
to fall when others believed you had lost everything."

Mulder didn't know what to say.  His conflicting emotions told him she 
was wrong.   His mind told him and wanted to tell her if it weren't for 
him, maybe none of those times would have had to happen.  

But his heart told him to accept this.  Accept the fact that you can't 
change history and even if you could, not all things would be equal.

Mulder had spent the last few years learning that lesson.  The lesson that 
taught him that to believe in fate and destiny meant things happened for 
a reason.  People came into your life for a reason and people left it 
sometimes for even bigger reasons.  

Samantha had proven that last reason.   

Scully had proven them both.

Covering their joined hands with his free one, Mulder looked back to 
Mrs. Scully.  

"Sometimes you have to lose everything to find what your looking for."

Not knowing exactly how to take those words, Mrs. Scully found its 
meaning in his smile.





[Epilogue]



Office of Walter Skinner, Assistant Director 
Monday, May 10  
10:30 AM  


Almost a month had passed.  Scully was returning to work today on 
limited duty.  She would be ready in another month to go back to field 
work if she wanted.  

It had been over two years since they had both sat in these chairs side by 
side listening to their world being torn apart.  A faint familiarity of years 
past came to them as they waited for Skinner to finish reading.

The investigation into the assassination of Trent Rogers would officially 
close today with the final report that would be filed jointly by Skinner, 
Mulder, and Scully.   A special joint commission was formed to look 
into the events of the assassination, with their report being filed on 
behalf of the FBI.

Going back to the earliest beginnings, Mulder and Scully recreated, as 
best as possible, the events of the past seven months.  From the first 
meeting with Rogers last November up until that dreadful day almost a 
month before now.

The picture they painted with the help of a Russian brothel owner, 
Emilla Simonowich, Mulder and Scully detailed the point by point 
scheme created to bring Mulder and the Vorankovich crime family 
down as well as smear the campaign of John Campbell.

The sniper that had taken the life of their fellow agent had turned out to 
be another henchman of Rogers.  A check that had been deposited by 
the ineffectual would-be assassin was traced back to another dummy 
company belonging to the Simonowich family, from there, back to the 
campaign by Rogers.

One thing had been left unsolved though.  The actual name of the 
person who killed Rogers.   Skinner would always believe it was 
Mulder's informant. Scully wasn't totally convinced it was related to the 
events at all, but Mulder thought it was someone like himself. 

Someone who had tired of being caught under the thumb of others who 
would dictate a future them.  Someone who had the resources and the 
fortitude to take on such a desperate solution.  

Mulder would never have the proof, but he knew that his un-named 
informant, one who was in position to know everything and had told 
him to his face that he sought the same end to Rogers means, had done 
the same thing for that someone.   

Had done the same thing he had done for Mulder before.   

Pointed that someone in the right direction.  

His predecessor had always pointed him in the right way, why wouldn't  
this new version of an old ally do it for someone else?

The past month had been spent deliberating and considering.  Writing 
and editing.  Re-writing and re-editing.  Mulder had done the profile and 
motivations while Scully reconstructed the evidence to support their 
theories.  

Skinner released a heavy sigh.  Pulling the cover flap over, he picked up 
his pen and began signing his name on the appropriate lines, joining his 
signature with the other two agents.

"Well, I think that does it.   I'm going to send this out to be copied to 
the commission members this afternoon.  They might not believe it, but 
they sure will have some interesting reading."

Mulder piped up, "With Emilla's testimony and the evidence in hand 
they won't be able to deny it."

Skinner and Scully both looked to Mulder shooting him a look full of 
`You should know better by now.'

Receiving the looks in stereo, Mulder laughed to himself realizing how 
foolish his words sounded.  "Well.... maybe not everyone can handle the 
truth."

Scully offered him a smile that told him that she agreed.  Probably more 
than he would ever know.  Mulder covered her left hand with his right, 
giving Skinner the perfect opportunity to finally ask the question he had 
barely been able not to.

"Agents....... is there something I should know about?"

A park bench suddenly came to Mulder's mind as he allowed Scully to 
field the familiar sounding question from Skinner, once again.

Pulling her hand from Mulder's she held it up to him, "Oh this?"

"If I didn't know better, Agent Scully, I would say it looks like an 
engagement ring?"

Mulder sat there, as deadpan a look on his face as ever.  

Looking beside her, "Hmm, what do you think Mulder, is it?"

Mulder shifted in his seat for a closer inspection. "Yeah, it kind of looks 
like one.  Wherever did you find it Scully?"

Looking like the baffled Special Agent who had just heard one of 
Mulder's crazy theories.  "I don't know..... one day I was in the hospital 
reading a book...talking to some guy.... the next minute I asked him to 
marry me."

"Lucky book."

The smiles on each other's faces could have broken every tourist's 
camera in the D.C. limits in that moment.  Skinner leaned back in his 
chair surveying the classic banter between them shaking his head.
 
Skinner picked up the phone and rung his outer office.  "Kim... you 
were right.... it was Scully."

The agents looked back to Skinner completely perplexed.

"What?  You didn't think I would overlook it, did you?"

Mulder looked to Scully, "Didn't we have theory about that, Scully?"



*************




Ten years later....





Personal journal entries of FWM & DKS:





It has become painfully clear as I look over the past years of our lives 
together what an amazing journey we have traveled.  How so urgent a 
dream was cast that the light in which it was born came far greater 
things than I could have ever hoped for.  My wandering heart that was 
tied so fervently to an idea so far gone, in my folly I realized what my 
existence was about and what could be if I could only see past my own 
experiences to get to it.  When told of such things in the past, I couldn't 
fathom what other's took for granted.  Their daily presence in and of this 
world only belied the fact that I was in it, among those whose purpose I 
once saw as hindrance I now know as necessity.  The life givers all 
around me would come through and pass on a path that I couldn't 
understand, so devoted to my own course that the world surrounding 
took on a warped significance if only to defeat my own empty purpose.  
  
To this day, as I look back, I am even more amazed at what was given 
to me.  Presented to me in a veil of alternate reality, the one person that 
would deliver me from my own exile came without judgment or false 
appearances.  Ultimately making her own sacrifices for a cause I had   
started, she made it her own, if not by choice, but by free will.  This is 
what I could not see, but now know with absolute certainty.  

Fleeing from the path of my destruction like so many had before, she 
decided ...... yes she decided to stay and fight.  I sit here and think 
fondly of those days wishing I were the sole reason for this, but even my 
ego wouldn't allow me such an indulgence.  Maybe it wasn't the fact she 
was delivered to me as much as I was delivered to her.  Her own greater 
purpose outshining my own as we would be teamed up to fight for a   
cause that both of us could only speculate at in the early years of our 
partnership.  An unknown goal, known only to us as the truth, a 
destination that we could never have imagined.  

Through our mutual shared passion for finding the truth we were able to 
sift and filter through those around us that would seek to destroy all 
that we could ever want exposed.    
  
It amazes me at the fortunate way in which our paths crossed.  The men 
who would design my destruction in turn solidified and fashioned their 
worst enemy with the creation of our partnership.  Partnership.  The 
word just will never seem to hold enough meaning for what we were 
and have become.  Looking back to the early days if anyone were to 
have told me where we would be and what we had been through twenty 
years later I would have opened an X-file on them myself.   Those early 
days of competitiveness bantering between us were literally the cloth in 
which we were cut from.  Her unnerving hold to that which was rational 
and logic while I would clutch to anything fantastic in order to prove 
her wrong, but more importantly my memories correct.  

It all seems so long ago.  
  
As both of us came together in our beliefs, we also came together in so 
many different ways.  It was probably inevitable that the two of us 
would eventually walk down the path of shared hearts, for we had 
belonged to each other far longer than we would eventually admit.  The   
words and emotions of which I can't adequately describe for how much 
I love her could never see their way from my heart to hers.  There could 
never be enough time or feeling to show her how much she means to 
me.  She gave me life when I was a dead man.  She saved my soul   
when it should have belonged to the devil. She awakened my heart 
knowing it could only belong to her.  
  
When I look at her now, I can't help but smile as I see hers more often 
than I ever have as we fondly reminisce about those days so long ago, 
but so firmly bound in our lives.  For once we were alone, but never 
more.  
  
Regrets have long been replaced by what found along the way.  A home 
and a family with that other partner of ours.  Enjoying the time we are 
together and never forsaking what could have been as we know with 
certainty that our existence was destined if not contrived.  With the sure 
course that has captained our ship into the sea of an unknown future we 
are sure of only one thing, our never-ending love for one another and 
our son Lawrence.  
  
I often kid her about how long we took to see our light, secure in the 
knowledge that our journey was required for this ultimate destination.  
She looks at me with the famous raised brow sharing in our little joke.  
Two people who were so seemingly tied up in independence, now so 
dependent on each other, it is the joke we understand.  

This fact that led us here.  

We were never independent.  We were just waiting for the other to pick 
up the line and continue our expedition so the other could afford to rest 
on the other's strength, if only for a little while.  It was only when we 
realized that a shared, collaborative union of strength would make us 
stronger that we were finally able to see the other and where we needed 
to be in each other's lives.  
  
When all was said and done, the life we would share together was our 
reward for so many years of sacrifice.  Brought together to solve those 
perplexions of nature, those conspiracies among us, we would venture 
forth in relentless pursuit trying to solve them knowing that sometimes 
they couldn't be.  It was at those times we would find a perverse 
satisfaction knowing that some things just weren't meant to be 
explained.  

How we could find in each other the oasis of our lives remained our 
mystery, though.  A mystery neither of us were concerned with 
solving.....  

.....and maybe.....just maybe..... that was the mystery we were designed 
to find.  



*************



Gathering my thoughts has never been easy for me.  Slipping through 
life I have, for the most part, relied upon the fact that having emotions 
rule your countenance can only serve to weaken you.  I would secret 
my thoughts away and go with the feelings that raged inward, making 
those around me question the outward.  The ruling party that my mind 
created sheltered my heart from pain and suffering in an effort to avoid 
what many see as a stereotypical failure within the realm of my gender.  
Letting them surface from time to time, especially away from others, 
would allow me more time to secure myself against those that I thought 
would use it against me.   However, looking around, I found it 
increasingly difficult to keep this up, especially in light of the company 
I kept.  For if I was the one who would hold on tightly, he was the one 
that released it without shame or burden.  He broke so many rules, why 
should this one have been any different.

Some days it seems I will never be able to get used to see him laying 
there beside me each morning.  I lived alone with my heart for so long, I 
feared it did irrevocable damage.  Those years of self enforced exile 
scarred me probably as much as having his sister taken damaged him.  
Holding on so tightly to what I feared, I now realize in an effort to 
protect myself it only served to hurt more.  

But he showed me.   

He showed me that letting go was the part that was both the hardest and 
easiest thing to do.  Those early years in our partnership were constant 
wars of give and take.  Each one of us giving a little less while the other 
would take more than we were offering.  Dancing around our feelings 
so precariously not wanting to take anything for granted.  It would have 
been so easy to give in to what we both sensed.  At times it seems like a 
wonderful time now, even in the light of what we now have that is so 
much better.

Through our years together I would often doubt and second guess 
many of our choices.  As partners, friends and now officially, husband 
and wife.  It's just my nature I guess, but the one thing I never doubted, 
the one thing I tried to make him know I never questioned, was my 
immense love for him.  An unboundless love that could never be 
qualified or measured.  

I can still remember my June wedding day and the look in his eyes when 
I said the only two words any man wants to hear from his hopeful bride.  
Although I never doubted his love for me, the unrestrained look of 
emotion filling his face was one that I had rarely seen.  He was up there 
with his heart in his hands offering me the world, hoping it would be 
enough.  What he could never know is exactly how much... how 
overwhelming it was to be offered what he was giving to me so freely.  
It's been more than I could have ever possibly hoped for.

Without realizing it, he also gave me everything I ever wanted out of 
life.  He gave me trust, strength, love and yes .....a child.  One not of our 
own, but completely ours nevertheless.  The same love that he used to 
show me the way, he would show to our son making him the only other 
member of our partnership that we would ever want.

However, he didn't realize it and for a long time and I didn't either that 
what made me happy was just one simple thing.  Him.  Being in his life, 
him being in mine, knowing I made a difference in some way, was all I 
ever wanted.  At one time I thought these things could only happen with 
a career and a professional life.  How wrong we both were and how 
appropriate we should find out together.  

I still say those three words to him, but mostly for myself, everyday.  
Those three words that say so much about who we are and who we 
became, because ultimately I can't bear to think about where we would 
be if it weren't for each other.  If it were never for his love, if it were 
never for his life.  

"Mulder, if it were.....never for you..."


The End.


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Author's notes:   A fan of the X-Files since day one, I was passive in my 
appreciation for the stories that Chris Carter gave us weekly.   As 
the seasons went by, I slowly descended into the madness of Philedom 
at an ever increasing rate.  It was not long after that my love for  	
computers and the X-Files converged resulting in spending countless  
hours on web pages, newsgroups and whatever else I could find.   
However, I consciously avoided fan-fic, fearing it my ruin my love  
for the show.  
  
After giving in and reading a short piece, purely by accident that, 
someone had posted to the wrong newsgroup, it struck me as odd how 
much I liked it.   Falling deeper into the abyss of fanfiction I ran across 
Paula Graves "12" series early on and was hooked.  It didn't ruin 
anything, it made me love the show more.  After scouring Gossamer day 
and night in my free time, I built up a small catalog of my favorites and 
discovered a central commonality that I had also consciously avoided 
speculation of.
  
In my darkest hours of addiction, the line between what the show 
portrayed and what I wanted to see happen started to blur. Sensing my 
worst fears coming true I had to come to grips with the fact and face the  
reality that Chris Carter would probably never grant our most heartfelt 
desire.  In that same respect, he had given us an example..... an 
opportunity to portray the two main characters in a way we could only 
hope.  In an act of unknown concession, I believe the door has been left 
open for our own interpretation and manipulation if we so desire in this 
medium where he first started himself.    
  
After seeing the website of Dawson E. Rambo, reading his works, my 
path was clear.  He set the example for what was not only possible, 
but obtainable.  An epic length novel that could chart the characters in 
a way no one else could..  To create my own work of fiction that I felt 
would be realistic and satisfying to those who had realized like me, that 
the romance we want can only live in fanfiction at worst or in the final 
episodes at best.   
  
My original goal, when I started, was to create a realistic scenario post-
series finale that could approach issues even if they had grown closer, 
but still without consummation.   Also, I started writing this on March 
25, 1998, before the movie.  While there are some spoilers contained,  
after certain revelations, I intended to keep it compatible setting this 
story sometime in the future after show ends.  Yes, I know there are a 
lot of assumptions, but that's part of the inherent sticky points with 
fanfic.  I've even thought about revising it as needed in the future, but 
that remains to be seen.  

Another one of my goals was to mimic the X-Files universe in which 
things are not often spelled out for the viewer or in this case, the reader.  
The greatest thing about the X-Files, to me, is the interactive way in 
which the stories are presented.  Letting the reader discover the plethora 
of hidden meanings and sub themes that many will see and hopefully 
enjoy.   The best stories in life are ones where you can go back and 
discover things you may have missed.

Any questions you may have pertaining to the story will be gladly 
accepted and answered.
  
Facing issues that no others could fathom, Mulder and Scully, in my 
opinion, would face obstacles that could be quite possibly catastrophic 
if handled the wrong way.  Two people who are so close in some ways, 
yet distant in others.   These thoughts intrigued me, the results being 
what you have before you.  Indulging myself I set out to write a 
novel length epic that would require an investment from the reader that 
I can only hope to return with interest.  
  
And from Father Creator himself, I'll leave you with this quote.  
  
"You know, Mulder and Scully love each other. That's kind of obvious 
if you've been a fan of the show. They have a very intense relationship 
that's based on mutual shared passions. The natural extension of that 
would be a romantic relationship."  
                                                        -Chris Carter, June 13, 1998  
                                                          Entertainment Tonight

Even though he may never show one, it lives in and because of his 
works.  Thanks Chris.