TITLE: The Fate of Time AUTHOR: Kristy Anderson; fanficsofkristy@aol.com; http://www.angelfire.com/scifi2/scullyspice CLASSIFICATION: MPOV in third person, MSR, some angst, humor (I hope), some fluff, a X-File SUMMARY: Kind of an "all things" paradigm for Mulder-what if he had taken a different road? How many things in life are fated and how many are just variables that can change? If you knew these possibilities, how would it change your current life? DISCLAIMER: Truth is, I own them. They are mine. No one can do anything about it. ARCHIVE: Yes to Gossamer. Anywhere else, I would love it, just keep my name and drop me a line. RATED: R, NC-17 in parts. Just note-bad words, adult situations. TIME LINE: Post Millennium, pre-all things, assuming that Mulder and Scully did consummate their relationship in "all things" and the time between those two episodes was leading up them toward a romantic relationship. Also, post-Per Manum, in this world. Since we have no earthly clue when the events of Per Manum happened, I'm placing them right before En Ami (and you really don't want to hear my 100+ page theories on why I think Per Manum fell there). SPOILERS: Anything's fair game. Lots everywhere. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Oh yeah, I figure if Chris Carter can completely ignore a time line and make the human gestation period over 12 months, I can do what ever I want with this time line, since the timing around the Pilot is so ambiguous (compared to when it aired versus the date they give us). It's my time line now. However, be aware of key dates in this fic- they do correspond with key dates in the show. ***** The Fate of Time ***** February 13, 2000 J. Edgar Hoover Building Washington, DC 11:21 pm "Mulder, how many times have we done this? You give the most outrageous theory, I provide the most scientific explanation, and the answer is a cross between the two. Don't you ever get tired of this game, this run-around we give each other? Wouldn't our lives, our work, our partnership, hell, even our friendship be so much easier if we just cut straight to the chase and point?" Dana Scully's voice was sharp and very annoyed. She and Mulder had been sitting in the dark, dingy office for over sixteen hours, arguing over their latest case, which, as usual, Mulder thought was the best thing since sliced bread and Scully thought it was a complete hoax and a waste of time. "Come on Scully!" Mulder voice was teasing and playful, completely ignoring Scully's irritation. "It wouldn't be as fun. It's like foreplay, it makes the end result so much more enjoyable." Scully threw her head back in exasperation. She closed her eyes and counted to ten before answering. Leave it to Mulder to not only ignore her feelings, ignore the double meaning about cutting to the chase and getting straight to the point, but find a way to intercede a sexual innuendo into their conversation. "Mulder, I am tired. Not just from today, or the hard week, but I'm exhausted from always being on the go. I'm tired of just being Special Agent Scully. I miss Dana Scully, Mulder. I feel like I lost her, lost sight of who else I am. Don't you ever wonder about or want that other person, that other part of you that never seems to shine under the shadow of the FBI, of the X-Files, to emerge?" Mulder blankly blinked twice as Scully rose. By the expression on his face, one would have thought that she was speaking gibberish. Scully let out a short breath, and grabbing her coat, walked out the door without a backwards glance. "Scully?" Mulder called to her, and he heard her heels stop clicking on the cold floor. He didn't hear them come back, but the fact that she wasn't moving anymore told him that she was at least listening to him. "Everything we go through, I couldn't do it without you. Losing Fox Mulder in sight of Special Agent Fox Mulder is fine by me, because it brought me to you. If we hadn't gone the path that we have traveled upon, we may never have met. And," he paused, drawing up courage. "I couldn't imagine my life without you." There, he said it, not to try to get her to stay, but because she deserved to hear it. "Good night Mulder." It wasn't as angry as her tone was before, but far from satisfied. With that, he heard her walk away, the click of her heels fading like the precious string that held them together. ***** Washington, DC 6:15 am "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-" Mulder hit the alarm clock with force, and muttered string of curses under his breath. Normally, he would be up and running laps, literally and figuratively, by now, not usually having trouble sleeping, but he had been awake all night thinking about what Scully had said to him last night before they left the office. He knew that she had been feeling somewhat cheated out of life lately, and he knew he wanted to some how 'make' thinks up to her, or at least let her know that he cared about how she felt. He rolled over, and suddenly realized that he was not alone. Opening one eye, he held in a horrific gasp as he saw who was lying next to him. Phoebe Green. With a very early '90's haircut snoring contentedly. Mulder shot up in the bed, and noticed that he was not in his bed, or even in his apartment. Looking around, he mumble a soft, "What the hell?" That's when he noticed the gold wedding band on his left hand. "Oh shit!" Mulder exclaimed as he jumped from the bed, trying to distance himself from Phoebe. Thinking this must be some kind of hideous nightmare, he pinched himself. Hard. "Ouch!" he yelped, then threw a glance at Phoebe, making sure she didn't wake. Obviously he wasn't dreaming. Frantically, Mulder looked around, as if trying to find an escape. He ran out of the bedroom door, having a suspicious hunch about what was happening to him. "Calendar, calendar, where the hell's a calendar when you need one," he muttered to himself, furiously looking around the living room, making his way into the kitchen. Finally, he spotted one over the sink in the kitchen, and ran to it, dreading what he knew it might say. "Oh God, not again," he whispered, rubbing his hands roughly over his face as he saw the year the calendar read. "March, 1992. Hoo-boy." Mulder turned and leaned against the sink, unsure whether to laugh or cry at his predicament. His thoughts were interrupted by a shrill call, one that sent a cold chill down his spine, one he thought he had rid himself of forever. "Fox, where did you go?" He cringed, and walked slowly back to the bedroom, afraid to face his current present. "Fox, what are you doing up so early? You don't have to be at the Hoover building until 10:00." Mulder looked at Phoebe, then quickly looked away, fighting the bile that was rising to his throat. She was wearing skimpy black lace thing and had propped herself up on one elbow, attempting, what Mulder thought, to look sexy. He thought she looked ridiculous and resisted the urge to laugh at her. He knew, as of right now, she was his only resource to find out what the hell was going on so he also knew he had to play his cards correctly. "I, uh, I have a meeting at 8:00." The Hoover building? Obviously he was still working for the FBI. According to the calendar, the X-Files should have been opened by now. Phoebe sighed with exasperation. "You didn't tell me about this yesterday Fox." Mulder thought quickly. "I, uh, I didn't know, I wasn't told about it until before I left last night. I think. What day is it?" Rolling her eyes, Phoebe flopped onto her pillow. "Fox, what do you mean, you weren't told about it. You are the one who calls the bloody meetings. And you don't know what date it is, even though you know you have a meeting? For Christ's sake, it's March 6." "Um, oh yeah. Just one of those days when you wake up and you think it's a different day than what it really is." Great, intelligent, he though wryly to himself. How was it that Phoebe always turned him into a bumbling fool? Mulder turned and looked around the room, seeing two other sets of doors that he hadn't tried yet, wondering which one was the bathroom. The sooner he got out of here and showered, the sooner he'd be away from Phoebe's claws. "What are you looking for Fox?" She crossed her arms above her chest, looking very upset with Mulder. "I forgot, um, which door leads to the bathroom?" ***** 7:30 am Hoover Parking Garage March 6, 1992 After looking through a hideous array of early 1990's suits and managing to escape Phoebe's whining plea for a morning quickie, Mulder was able to escape and drive to the J. Edgar Hoover Building and arrive, early, for once. Ironically, his "new" place was only about a block from where he was suppose to be living. One thing had haunted him all morning though, and that was the date. March 6, 1992. Today was the day his life was suppose to change. Today was the day Scully was suppose to walk into his life. He wondered if he would be lucky enough to know Scully in this life too. In a daze, he headed straight for his basement office, oblivious to the looks he was drawing. When he reached the door of the office for the X-Files, he realized something was drastically wrong. There were no X-Files. The room that was his office was still a copy room. "Shit," he muttered to himself for the umpteenth time that morning. How the hell was he suppose to find where he was suppose to be now? "Sir?" came a tentative voice from behind. Mulder turned to be staring, at all people, Tom Colton. Oh, the irony keeps getting better, Mulder thought to himself. At least the twerp was calling him sir. Thinking briefly of Skinner, Mulder straightened and stared down at Colton. "Yes, Agent?" "Um, I was just inquiring why you're down here. If you need copies, why didn 't your secretary run for you? I mean no disrespect, but ah, we just don't see too many Section Chiefs down here." Section Chief, huh? At least he didn't have to face Blevins again. He had Blevin's job. Mulder smiled, patronizingly. He might as well use this power to it's fullest extent, and make the twerp miserable. After all, he still blamed the guy for Tooms almost getting Scully's liver. "I know that. I came looking for you. Come with me." He saw Colton visibly swallow, and Mulder gestured with his hand to have Colton lead the way. At least he didn't have to ask like an idiot where his office was. Now he just needed a mundane job for Colton to do. After having Colton unknowingly leading him to his office and dismissing him with a "I changed my mind, I don't need you anymore," Mulder met his secretary and then locked himself in his office. He let out a low whistle at how nice and plush it was. Thick, soundless carpet, mahogany desk, lots of eastern exposure. He went and sat at his desk and began ruffling through paperwork, trying to get a clue to the identity of what his life now was. From what he could gather, he was the VCU Section Chief, on the fast track to the Assistant Director's seat. Star of the Bureau. Married to Phoebe for ten years. No kids. And, no Scully. He sighed; this was going to be one miserable life without Scully. He resigned himself to do two things, if he were to be stuck in this life. One, divorce Phoebe. Two, find Scully and make her a part of his life. There was a knock on his door, and Mulder got up and unlocked it. Sitting back down at his desk, he yelled a "Come in!" to his secretary, of whom he still had to figure out her name. "Sir? You're ten o'clock is here." Mulder blinked and glanced at the clock. Quarter till ten. He wondered what this appointment was for. His secretary must have thought his delay in response was because he forgot who was coming to see him. "The pathologist from Quantico you sent for to assist on the case?" She crossed her arms and stared in annoyance. Trying to think what case this might be, the possibilities of who the word 'pathologist' could mean was lost on Mulder. "Yeah, send him in." Mulder sorted through the papers on his desk rapidly, trying to find the notes for the current case. Finally, he found a memo to him dated yesterday, glanced over it quickly, before looking up at the agent before him. What he saw took his breath away. Though she was obviously in her shapeless, bland suit phase as she had been when he first met her, there was no denying it, that it was her. She looked younger, less battered and haunted. He closed his eyes momentarily, praying his eyes weren't playing a prank on him. When he opened them, she was still there. Scully. His Scully. With that eyebrow arched. He wanted to laugh and sing. Mulder thought he'd never be so happy to see that eyebrow, that "look". "Sir, are you okay?" He visibly cringed at the 'sir' and stood up, and extended a hand. "Yes, Agent Scully, I'm fine. I thought you were someone else I knew for a minute, and I couldn't believe it. You look a lot like her; it just took me by surprise. Have a seat, and please, call me Mulder." "Sir, with all due respect, I don't think that would be up to protocol if I-" "No. Please, I would very much feel more comfortable if we drop the formality. We might be able to accomplish more." He knew that she would take that as "accomplishing more" in the realm of the case, but he meant more personally. Mulder wasn't going to let this gift slide away from him. He had a different kind of chance with Scully, and he wanted to see how far it could go. Scully smiled tentatively, and Mulder remembered she did do that a lot in the beginning. Smile, that is. "Okay, um, Mulder." For the first time that day, Mulder felt a genuine smile float across his face, and he began to brief both of them. ***** The Office of Section Chief Mulder March 6, 1992 1:47 pm She had loosened up during the briefing, and even had laughed at a few of Mulder's horrible jokes, to his amusement. As she stood to leave, to go grab lunch and then visit with the field agents on the case before performing the latest autopsy, he walked with her to the door. He realized that he was not her direct superior, and that he could feasibly ask her out for a date. "So Scully, would you care to join me for dinner tonight? We could talk a bit more about the case and maybe get to know one another better." Mulder did his best just to sound interested and nice, not leering. A dark cloud passed over her eyes, and he saw a fleeting glance at his wedding band. Shit, he thought. This was probably around the time she had broken off with Jack, who had been her superior. And he remember her briefly telling him once about how she dated a married instructor of hers in med school. Shit. She lifted her chin slightly and set her jaw. Typically Scully move, when she was hiding her feelings and trying to be the iron wall of professionalism. "Thank you, but I don't think so, Sir. I will see you tomorrow when I come in to update you on my findings in the autopsy of the latest victim." With that, she coolly walked out the door. Mulder slumped back to his desk thumped his head to the surface. He should have known better, and now he had scared her off. With bitter resolve, he found the phone book he saw earlier and flipped to the yellow pages, looking under the 'lawyers' section. ***** March 6, 1992 Washington, DC Late Evening Mulder walked through the door that night, feeling weary and apprehensive. After encountering Scully and possibly screwing up his chance with her in *this* life, he had spent the afternoon with a divorce lawyer. Now, came the hard part of telling Phoebe. Though he didn't know what she was like now, the scene in the bedroom earlier this morning clued him in. Spoiled, manipulative, and easily angered. Great, he was probably going to be sleeping in his car tonight. As he walked in through the door, he realized that the apartment was dark. It took him several minutes to find a light switch. The apartment flooded with light instantly, and a piece of notebook paper caught his eye on the hallway table. Picking it up, it read, "Darling- Had to go to Baltimore for business again, won't be back until tomorrow morning. Love, Phoebes." "Yes!" Mulder exclaimed outloud, than became a little sheepish as he realized he just spoke aloud. This was good because not only was she out of his hair for the evening, but he could use this time to figure things out. Wondering around, he found the phone and answering machine, whose light was blinking incessantly. Pressing play, he skipped through a telemarketing message, and was about to skip though the next message when the voice caught him and he paused. "Fox, it's me, Sam. Just calling to say hi. Call me back, you know the number." His eyes widened to the size of saucers, the plate kind, not the flying kind. Sam, as in Samantha, his sister? She wasn't dead in this life? Stumbling to the couch, Mulder let the news sink in and process, with a small smile upon his face. If she wasn't dead, maybe that was the variable that had changed everything. Without her missing, his obsession, his hunt for the truth hadn't developed and surface. But some things had remained the same in his life. He still went to Oxford, still met Phoebe, still joined the FBI. Were these the universal invariables in his life? What role did Scully have in this? In his other life, he believed a long time ago that she was his soul mate, best friend by far. She completed him in no other way that another human being could. Those months ago, when he told her that she was his constant, his touchstone, he meant that with every fiber of his body. With Scully, he was stronger. With Scully he was a whole person. Where did that leave them in this life? With a groan, Mulder fell back to lay on the couch and closed his eyes. Whomever was playing this dirty trick on him could've at least had the decency to let him keep his black leather couch in this life. ***** March 7, 1992 Section Chief Mulder's Office 11:13 am "Are you completely crazy?" Scully asked Mulder incredulously, after an hour of deliberation. She had come that morning to report her autopsy reports, only to be sucked in by Mulder trying out every outlandish theory he could think of to explain her findings. Truth was, he was just playing with her, testing her boundaries, seeing how far he could push before she flew off the handle. He was pretty certain if he hadn't been Section Chief that she would've gone off much sooner than this, but he was indescribably elated to finally see her fly off the handle. "With all due respect, Mulder," Mulder couldn't have been happier at how she pronounce his name with ease now. "You know what, screw that protocol crap of trying to be polite, but you're insane. My findings do not, in any way, prove your outrageous theories. If anything, they fit the profile one of your agents has put together for this case. Why are you trying to debunk, good, solid, hard evidence?" Only to see you get like this, he thought. He suppressed a grin as she almost stomped over to his side to point something out on the photographs attached to her report. Leaning over, he swallowed at her oblivious proximity to him, her breasts unknowingly near his face, and he closed his eyes as he breathed in her wonderful Scully scent. She jabbed at the picture. "Look here, see this! That can't possibly be-" Both her and Mulder looked up as the door to his office flew open. There stood Phoebe, looking as pissed off as Mulder had ever seen her. "A divorce huh?" she screeched in her clipped, British accent. "Is that the tramp you're leaving me for Fox? How long have you two been at it?" Scully straightened up and eyed Phoebe carefully. "I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. The only thing we have 'been at' is discussing pathology reports from my autopsy. Obviously you two need some time alone to talk." Turning her attention to Mulder, Scully said, somewhat sarcastically, "Sir, when you are done with your personal dramas, please let me know and I can continue to brief you on my findings." Grabbing her jacket from the chair, she brushed past Phoebe, and Mulder couldn't help but take in a striking difference between the two women, both in looks and aura. Pausing before exiting through the door, she gave Phoebe a once over before speaking. "Next time, Mrs. Mulder, please watch who you chose to call names. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I verbalized what I assessed of you in just two minutes of knowing you." Scully slammed the door behind her, and Mulder resisted the urge to laugh outloud. Instead, he chose to focus his energies on Phoebe, and getting her the hell out of there. "You know Fox, this is going to be a huge mistake." She glared at him, crossing her arms. "No, the only mistake was this marriage in the first place. That, and your unprofessional rant and barging. That Agent you called so eloquently a 'tramp' in one of my key agents on this case, and I had never met her until yesterday. I am trying to work, not only work, but solve a very high profile serial killing case. Now, I need to spend quality time apologizing to her for my soon to be ex-wife's lack of tact or common sense, time we could be spending solving this case. All I can say and leave you with is that you choose-furniture or apartment, but your not getting both. I'll leave you with that, and you can tell your decisions and make the arrangements with my secretary." With that, he brushed past Phoebe in a the same similar fashion as Scully. ***** 8:02 pm National Mall Washington, DC Somewhere near the Washington Monument Mulder had spent the rest of the day on the phone with his lawyer. Phoebe was being relentless, refusing to give up on of his stipulations-she wanted both, and he wasn't the least surprise. Now, she was wanting alimony, which would be ridiculous, since she made just as much as he. He had decided to find a new place to live; even if she decided to give up the apartment for the furniture, he knew that he could never go back there. He had checked out and called around to a few places, but trying to find housing in DC was atrocious. Until then, he was staying at the Holiday Inn on the Hill. Oh, and he had permanently removed the ring. But tonight, he needed to clear his mind. DC winters were usually mild, and tonight the temperature was close to fifty degrees. He had decided to take advantage and walk around in introspection, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Almost blindly, he had wondered to the bench that he considered *theirs*, his and Scully's, or at least the other Scully, at least. It wasn't until he was within a few feet of the bench that he saw a glint of red blowing gently, topping a purple colored coat. Smiling inwardly, he approached her. He had forgotten about that coat. What was she thinking-purple? He stood next to her, not at all surprised to find her here. "Is this seat taken?" She shook herself out of her reverie and looked up at him, surprised to see him, and almost annoyed. Mulder knew it was because she was feeling as if her personal, private space that she cherished so much was being invaded. Looking around at all the other, empty benches that surrounded them, she turned to him with that raised eyebrow he had grown to love and responded. "If you would like to sit there, I'm not going to stop you." Grinning inwardly, Mulder sat, being sure not to sit too close to her and send her running again. She hadn't said no-as far as he was concerned, this was as close as saying 'please join me' that Scully would ever get. An awkward pause ensued, and Mulder broke the ice by clearing his throat. "I often come here to clear my head, gather my thoughts. This bench exactly, I guess you could call it my thinking bench. That's why I asked to join you rather than take the other open benches." If she was surprised at the coincidence that Mulder knew he had stirred, she was good at not showing it. She looked out at the reflecting pool before answering. "Me too." Feigning surprise, Mulder asked, "You come here to think too?" She turned to look him in the eye. "Yeah, this is a great place for introspection." He gave her a slight smile, knowing exactly what kinds of things she would be thinking about right now. Her father, the decision to enter into the FBI rather than practicing medicine, what's his name that she just broke up with... "I'm sorry about how she talked to you today. That was highly uncalled for, highly unprofessional, and I think completely untrue." The words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Thank you, though you shouldn't be apologizing for her. I can see why you'd want to divorce her though." The sarcasm was not lost on Mulder, and he laughed freely. She gave him a little smirk back and glanced at his hands. "Ring's off now, I see. When did you, I mean, when did you decide to get a divorce-obviously by how you just now took off the ring and her reaction today, it must be recent." He couldn't help it, he had to say it, as cheesy as he knew it sounded. "Since I met you." "Excuse me?" Shit, he kept forgetting about that married professor in med school. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I had been contemplating it for a long time, I was very unhappy. But the day I met you is the same day that I had my appointment with my lawyer. Maybe it was fate we met that day." Why not give her a little test? Smirking, she looked back out at the reflecting pool again. "I don't believe in fate." "Neither do I-to an extent. But what if some things, some people, are predestined to be in our lives no matter which road you choose to take or which variables were to change, altering the ultimate outcome of your life. What if these things or people remain our constants no matter what else where to change-wouldn't something like that be fate of some kind?" "What's to say these constants couldn't change by an alteration of a variable? Ultimately, one does not know that these constants are constants unless every alternative route is tried, all things remaining equal. It's the scientific method. It's like saying water will always be water no matter what variables change, but it's been proven that that is not true-water will change if the correct elements are combined with it." Closing his eyes, Mulder resisted doing a victory dance. Different life, same Scully. He opened his eyes to find Scully staring at him with a hint of amusement and challenge dancing in her eyes. "Hey Scully, are you sure you don't want to take me up on that offer for a date?" She lifted her chin as if it were a challenge, but her enigmatic smile betrayed her. Mulder knew that smile anywhere. "Okay, Mulder, you're on." ***** 21 Hours Later March 8, 1992 5:05 pm Mulder Temporary Residence Mulder yanked at his tie, getting more and more frustrated as the blasted thing wouldn't knot straight. It had been an eventful day, to say the least. He had spent the morning retrieving his belongings from his old apartment. Wanting to avoid another confrontation, he had waited until he knew that Phoebe would be gone. Not too surprisingly, the locks had been changed since yesterday, so Mulder had to hunt down the landlord, do some explaining, and let the landlord let him in. Though the landlord was reluctant at first (Phoebe had told him that Mulder had went crazy, was threatening her life, and was not to be let in), Mulder was swift to remind him that because his position in the FBI, he could either break the door open or go get a search warrant, giving him legal access to the apartment. The landlord relented. Stuffing his car with everything he considered "his", clothes, books, videos, papers, etc., Mulder was very grateful that she had not done something even more drastic, like cut up all his underwear into little tiny pieces. He wouldn't put it past her. When he arrived in the office that afternoon, he had come in to wonderful news. The case had been solved, or at least an arrest had been made, all because of the evidence Scully had provided with her forensic reports and examination of the materials that the other agents on the case had gathered. Scully was now the "it" girl of the FBI, and Mulder couldn't help but be phenomenally proud of her. He always knew that if the X-Files and him hadn't sucked her up like they did, that she would be one of the most brilliant and revered agents in the Bureau. She was on the fast track indeed. The Bureau had known the the head of the pathology unit at the Hoover Building was going to becoming open in a few weeks. Though extremely young, her success on this high profile case that had stumped the Bureau for months combined with her previous work now put her in serious consideration for the position. Mulder was just grateful that he didn't sit on that commission to pick the new head- if he were, this date tonight wouldn't be able to happen. Breathing a sigh of relief as he finally got the tie straight, Mulder ran his hand through his hair and gave himself one more look over. Sure, this was just Scully, but at the same time, it was Scully. Since he had no idea why or how he got here, he needed to make the most out of life- especially his relationship with Scully. The pain of the absence of Samantha was gone. He wasn't the lonely, mournful, disillusioned man he was. He had gotten a second lease on life, and he wanted the part of Scully that he couldn't have in his other life. Grabbing his jacket, he ran out the door. At this rate, he was going to be late. They had agreed to meet at a little Italian restaurant in Adams Morgan at 5:30, and in good traffic it was a twenty minute drive. Oh well, he though to himself, time for this Scully to learn that I'm perpetually late to everything. ***** I Matti Restaurant Adams Morgan 5:45 pm The minute he walked through the door, he could spot her, even in the dimness of the room. The restaurant was lit only by candlelight, and the flickering flames accented her hair, making it radiate and bring a lovely glow to her face. Though he was red/green color blind, he had heard her hair described so many times over the years that he could imagine it; plus, he could see the different highlights and texture of the color, and how it complimented her nicely. Anyway, though he couldn't tell the color, he had always figured that it was red- he doubted that she would have green hair. Her eyes were upon the menu before her, and Mulder couldn't help but admire how her dark lashes framed her light eyes in such an alluring fashion. He had always loved her eyes, and felt that he could drown in them, which sometimes he did. Hair loosely piled upon her head, a few wisps had fallen, giving her normally professional, sometimes hard (which was necessary in being a woman in her field, Mulder knew) a soft, almost relaxed look. Taking a moment to admire her hands, slender yet strong, nails perfect and feminine, as she brought a glass filled with a deep red wine to her lips, Mulder's eyes fell to those lips. Moist and stained from the recent sip, they were plump and pouted in that wonderful alluring way. Mulder's own lips tingled at the memory of their kiss at New Years. They had never discussed the kiss after that night, and neither made a move past it- it was as if it had never happened- almost. The sexual tension between the two did increase dramatically, but neither did anything to figure it out or fix it. Obviously, she must have liked it, because she didn 't pull away, and the kiss had gone on for some time, but Mulder had admitted to himself that he was too chicken to bring it up or make the next move. For another time that night, Mulder thanked his lucky stars that he had a chance to try and change that. His eyes moved down from her face, drinking in the curves of her body. He knew already that it would be very firm and muscular, yet pliable and soft. Scully had always managed to be in top shape without loosing that feminine shape or feel. She was wearing a deep blue, though not quite navy silk dress. The neckline was square, with a little glimpse of cleavage, with nothing more than two thin, delicate straps holding it up. He could see that the dress was somewhat clingy without being obvious, and went down to her ankles. Her shoes were the same color, some strappy things with the usual heel so high, that they always left Mulder wondering how she walked in them. Willing his body to calm down at the sight of her, he checked in his coat and made his way over to the table. A wind quartet with pianist played softly in the corner, romantic strains audible but not obtrusive. Near them there was a small dance floor, that was empty for the moment. Mulder hoped that he would pursued her to let him take her out there later that night. Sliding into the chair across from her, he gave her a simple "Hi. Sorry I'm late." Lowing the menu, Mulder finally got to see her face. It was framed by simple diamond studs in her ears and her necklace was the only other jewelry she wore beside a delicate looking watch. Her make-up was simple but complimentary, and he could see that she had left her beauty mark uncovered for the night. His throat went dry, and for once in his live, Fox Mulder was speechless. She was giving him 'the look', and Mulder thought there wasn't a more beautiful sight for his eyes to see. "It's a good thing I don't suffer from abandonment fantasies, or I might have thought that you had ditched me. Somehow though, I had this undeniable feeling that you would be late." She looked at him over her glass of wine as she took another sip. Mulder's heart lurched at the word 'ditched', and he made a silent promise that he would never do that to her this time around. "A feeling, huh? How do you apply the scientific method to a 'feeling'?" He grinned at her, and flagged the waiter down. "What are you drinking Scully?" "Cabernet Sauvingnon. Maybe it was my deduction of the traits you tend to display, the artifice of your personality I have already gotten to analyze." The waiter stopped by the table, and Mulder ordered a bottle of the wine as well as another glass for himself. Scully raised her brows at the request, but kept silent. A bottle of Cabernet Sauvingnon easily cost forty dollars, minimum. "Oh, so you've analyzed me. And I thought I was the profiler here." Mulder's heart was doing happy cartwheels as he and Scully fell into familiar and fun bantering. "Actually, to tell you the truth, when you were late today, I overheard your secretary say something about you being perpetually twenty minutes late to everything. According to that hypothesis, you're five minutes early tonight. I'm impressed." "I wouldn't want to keep someone as beautiful as you sitting alone too long." Mulder opened his menu. "I would be afraid that you might change your mind and find someone else to keep you company tonight." Over the top of the menu, he saw Scully smirk, but the faint blush that rose to her cheeks told him that she was flattered by his compliment. She quickly looked down to her menu to hide her face. The waiter came back with the wine, and both Mulder and Scully ordered. While waiting for their food conversation was came to them easily, briefly talking about the case since they had missed each other that day, but mainly talking about themselves, their families, school, the FBI. Of course, everything she told him, he already knew, but he found her fascinating that she would be so open to him. A comfortable silence fell over them as their food arrived and they ate. Soon, their plates were cleared, the bottle of wine was empty, and several hours had passed. Through the course of the meal, Mulder had felt that the world around them had stopped, and there was no one else left but the two of them. He glanced at the dance floor, seeing several couples taking advantage of soft music. He looked across at Scully and caught her eye across the table. Standing up, he stepped over to her and held out a gentlemanly hand. "Scully, may I have this dance with you?" Her eyes locked with his, and she gingerly placed her hand in his. Mulder was still amazed at how little they were compared to his, but strong, yet soft and gentle. At her touch, he felt a bolt of electricity shoot though him. He guided her to the dance floor. Holding her right hand in his left, he gingerly placed his right hand at her waist. Her left hand came up to his shoulder, as if it had automatically been guided there by years of practice. Even in her heels, Mulder couldn't help but be amused by the fact that she still only came up to his shoulder. He was also willing to bet that even with her height, she could kick his ass easily in this life, too. The number they came out on was halfway through, and since it was a rather upbeat song, Mulder and Scully did their best to finish the song by dancing a pseudo waltz. Intrinsically, they knew how to follow each other's lead, and moved like a fluid pair they were suppose to be on the dance floor. As the song came to an end, Mulder couldn't resist and spun Scully, only to catch her into a dip. When he brought her back up, he could see how here eyes sparkled and shined in the candlelight, carefree and happy. She had a smile upon her face, not a toothy grin, but a slight one that said more than an all out grin would have conveyed. He felt his own face light up in a similar smile. Suddenly the mood and tempo changed to a slow ballad, romanticism floating up from the strings and ivory. Their smiles faded, but not to that of sadness, but of the internal emotional explosions that the song seemed to signify. Mulder knew that he was falling in love with her all over again, and he thought by that look in her eyes and the expression on her face that she might be feeling the magic a bit herself. Without a word, he drew her into his arms. While his hand clutched hers again, he pulled their entwined hands close to his heart. Instead of his hand at her waist, it wrapped around to the small of her back, pulling her close. He felt her lay her cheek against his chest, and he felt the wonderful tickle of her hair in the hollow of his neck as he rested his chin on top of her head. A glance down at her face, engulfed by the soft light, showed that her eyes were closed. They swayed slowly; not seductively, but rather like they were old lovers who knew each other well and had all the time in the world to enjoy and love each other. Their movements were as if they were here to savor the memories moment by moment, without a care in the world except for the other. Mulder closed his eyes as well, and his heart was pounding furiously. He could die right here, right now, and feel as though his life, the meaning of it had been fulfilled. Going with the moment, he pulled away from her slightly to stare down at her; memorizing and drinking her in, in case he would wake up tomorrow and have this all taken away from him. He knew it was a fine possibility, with how abrupt he had arrived here. She looked up at him questionably, but not accusingly. Feet had ceased moving, and their hands were frozen in the dance positions. Leaning in, he watched her reaction as her eyes grew wide with acknowledgment before fluttering shut. His eyes closed shut in a silent prayer the moment before their lips meet. It was a brief, fleeting kiss, yet firm and full of promise and possibility. His lips tingled, and every cell in his body felt as though they were singing, awake and alive. Pulling away, he leaned his forehead against hers, seemingly their most intimate position. Their eyes open simultaneously, and she smiled at him, much in the way she had smiled at him after their New Year's kiss. He gave her a lopsided smile in response, and he mentally figured he had smiled more in this life in one night than he had smiled his entire other life. The music trailed off, and the band members began to pack up. With a start, Mulder and Scully reluctantly broke the wonderfully intense eye contact, only to find that the restaurant was closing. Only a few couples remained, and Mulder felt his heart sink at the prospect of the night ending. A quick glance at Scully's watched showed that it was quarter till eleven. She had saw the time simultaneously. Biting her bottom lip, she whispered, "I've got to go Mulder. I have an interview tomorrow at eight." To Mulder's delight, she seemed disappointed that the evening was ending. Whispering back, since it seemed like talked would break the spell that had fallen between them, he replied, "Okay, I'll get the check, you grab the coats." Still not moving from the dance floor, not wanting to loose the warmth of each other's touch, Scully began to protest. He knew that she knew how much this night was costing him. "It's okay Scully. You can get next time. Tonight was on me, a thank you for taking a chance on someone like me." Quirking her eyebrow, she licked her lips before responding. "Okay, how about lunch tomorrow, since I will be at Headquarters anyway? I can come after my interview get over-my treat." Mulder knew the last part was suppose to make it sound lighthearted, but underneath the facade, he knew that was her way of protecting herself if he said no. This time a full fledged grin covered his face. "Looks like you've got yourself a date." ***** March 9, 1992 Section Chief Mulder's Office 11:21 am Mulder tapped his fingers on his desk impatiently. He was hungry, and he was wondering what the hell was taking Scully so long at her interview. Today had been very successful in several ways- one, he found out that being Section Chief required a lot of paperwork and a lot of bossing around. It was almost like a regular 9-5 job... certainly more flexible than being in the field all the time. Second, he found out that his nickname was still Spooky. However, when people called him that, it was out of awe and respect at his skills and abilities, rather than disrespect and jealousy. He kind of liked it. Looking at his watch, Mulder saw that only a minute passed since the last time he checked the time. He had to admit it- he was excited to see Scully again, and very pleased at the way things were progressing between the two of them. His dreams had been filled with wonderful Scully fantasies all night. 11:22 and 30 seconds. Where was she? He wadded up a piece of paper and aimed at the trash can. It bounced off the rim before falling to the floor on the side of the aluminum container. Scowling at the piece of paper, Mulder checked his watch, again. 11:23 and 4 seconds. This would mean her interview lasted over three hours. Was that a good or a bad thing? Maybe she ditched him, or forgot, or just didn't care any more. This dating game sure was more complicated than Mulder remembered. Checking his e-mail for the 100th time that morning, Mulder looked around at his immaculate office. He had no idea he could even be this neat. However, his office was organized and clean when he first entered here a few days ago, and Mulder decided he was going to try and turn over a new leaf, try to be, well, more to protocol. Though he always had complete disregard for rules and procedures, he was finding out in this life that sometimes it could be very beneficial. It was something that could be used to one's advantage. His phone beeped at him, and Mulder jumped. Picking up, he tried not to sound too excited or anxious as he answered, "Mulder." "Sir? I have Agent Scully out here for you." "I'll be right out." Hanging the phone down with glee, Mulder grabbed his jacket and whisked out the door. Her back was turned to him when he walked out his door, and he could see that she was intently studying a photograph on his wall. It was one where he met the Governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton. There was some speculation that he may beat the incumbent, President Bush, for the executive office, but Mulder didn't think he would. Although he apparently was doing fairly well in the primaries to receive the democratic bid. She heard him shut the door, and turned around, smiling at him. Mulder's heart leapt, Scully smiles were still a rarity for him and he treasured each one. "You ready?" she asked neutrally, but the glint in her eye told him that she had news for him. "Oh yeah. I was born ready." Though he knew that she would interpret his response as nothing more than ready to go to lunch, he meant so much more than that. He was ready to let her in his life completely. It was hard for him to make this relationship legitimate in his mind, because while this was Scully, this wasn't their lives. Yet, it was their lives. He was the only one who remembered the other life. He had pondered during all his thinking on the matter if whether this was suppose to happen, their relationship, and if it were to happen, was it suppose to happen this way? Was he playing with fate somehow? If he hadn't *remembered* Scully, would he have still been inclined to ask her out, befriend her, and certainly try to recreate their wonderfully scary, yet unbreakable bond? Was he even suppose to be in this life? What scared him about this situation is the unknown variables that cultured the known variables. Things had obviously been changed this time around, creating a completely different Fox Mulder and a completely different universe for their lives. Because of his previous knowledge, was he changing the unknown variables and if he was, what kind of consequences was he creating? Still, he couldn't help but pursue this relationship with Scully. In their other lives, it would have been virtually impossible. They were closer than any other two people could possibly be, intellectually and emotionally. Mulder thought beyond a doubt now that they were soul mates; a yin and yang, completing and complimenting each other. Though their relationship in the other life had been hinting towards crossing the line and becoming intimate physically, he knew that a normal life could never happen for them. PART 2 - The Fate of Time And that is what scared him the most about this life. He had become to ponder the normal life scenario and now he had the opportunity at one, with Scully, the one person in the world he would give his life for. What if he now had to find out the hard way that the normal life for them wasn't meant to be? What if they weren't meant to be soul mates in this life? What if it were the demons they had to fight in their other life was the necessary element that fostered their relationship? Obviously, the demons were absent in this life and their relationship would have to be fostered on everything that they had never had an opportunity at in the other life. Placing his hand on the small of her back and guiding her out the door, Mulder pushed aside his thoughts. He was willing to gamble on fate, and hoped that he got a lucky hand, because where Scully was concerned, he would walk the ends of the earth to have any sort of life with her, no matter what kind was appropriate for whatever universe or time they were in. Mulder knew that if they were truly soul mates, than they would also be together in this life. ***** Two Months Later May 16, 1992 Mulder Residence Washington, DC The past few months had been absolute bliss for Mulder. Not only had he found a very good lawyer to take care of the divorce settlement with Phoebe, so he wouldn't get screwed over by her or talk to her, but he had finally found a place to live. He had decided that after living just outside the city for so long, he was going to try to live in the city. He had just moved in this week, and was excited to show Scully his new place. However, that wasn't the only reason he was excited and happy. After that initial interview, Scully had been called back to round two of interviews and the final round of interviews. Two weeks ago, she had been informed that she was the new head of the pathology department at headquarters. Today had been her first day at her new job. Mulder couldn't have been more ecstatic. He could now see Scully every day. Though it bothered him that they couldn't work side by side, he had come to terms with the fact that they weren't destined to be field partners in this life. Having her in the same building was like Christmas for Mulder. Things over the past few months had been progressing well for the two, in the personal realm. There had been many more dates, and they were, by all accounts, like a 'normal' couple. They went to movies, to restaurants, to plays, took walks around the Mall, and even did touristy things like visit the zoo to see the Pandas and wonder through the Smithsonian buildings. Their favorite place to go and visit, by far, was the Air and Space Museum; Mulder just liked to go to see the moon rocks, and Scully loved to be surrounded by the great science that had put mankind into space. Fingers intertwined, they were walking back to his place from a cozy little cafe he took her out to in order to celebrate her first day as head of the FBI's pathology department. A comfortable silence had settled over them, sedated from the delicious dinner. The night air was sensuously warm, with a soft, tickling breeze rustling through the trees. The streets of DC were serene, and the atmosphere of the historic, cozy neighborhood with it's rows of townhouses and brick lined streets seemed was casting a spell over the evening. A soft sigh escaped Scully's lips, and Mulder looked over to her. The moon's light softly illuminated her face, lighting her eyes to an amazing royal blue that matched the sky, framed by the flawless, translucent skin that made her lips take on a strawberry quality; both in color and fullness. He dared to break the hypnotizing aura of the night. "What's wrong?" He stopped them, turning her to face him. Giving him a smile that warmed his heart, she grabbed for his free hand with hers. "Nothing's wrong. Everything's perfect. I'm just afraid everything's too perfect, like it's going to be violently ripped away from us. Are we suppose to be this happy Mulder?" Pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her, but still holding her far enough away so he could continue to drown in her eyes, Mulder replied, "I think we deserve to be happy. We've earned it." She may not understand all his reasons behind the statement, but she would understand his sincerity behind it. "Mmm. I don't know. You did almost get that ticket for jaywalking the other day. If anything deserves punishment, it is jaywalking." A playfulness danced in her eyes, and Mulder emitted a small chuckle. "Yeah, I probably deserve some kind of punishment for that." His statement was under laced with a different meaning; want and lust lined the edges. Licking her lips, Scully nodded. "Mmm hmm. I'm sure I can think of different ways I can teach you to stop breaking the law like that." Her pupils dilated, Mulder felt all his blood flow to his groin at the huskiness in her voice. His mouth descended upon hers, moist, warm, and hungry. She tasted vaguely of the lemon pepper chicken she had ordered that night, of which he ended up stealing half. He felt her soft, bare arms circle his neck, pulling him closer, wanting more of him. One of his hands tangled up in her hair, the other found the small of her back, pressing her close to him. Her lips were soft, pure as the dew on a petal of a rose, and he could feel her breasts pushed up against his chest, even though their clothes. His body responding with even more voracity; the kiss grew more intense, and the air around them become a few degrees warmer. Their tongues danced with exploration, and his hands roamed down her back, over her ass, trailing back up her sides. His thumbs grazed the sides of her breasts on the way back up to her shoulders, and he felt her shudder under his light, barely there touch. Finally, they broke away reluctantly, and Mulder took in the beauty of how flushed she was. Both breathless, Mulder willed his body to calm down, and glanced down. He was very grateful at their height difference, because right now he got a clear view of her cleavage, making his cock twitch with appreciation. Through her thin shirt he could see her nipples were just as erect, and he new it wasn't because the night was cold. Brushing her hair from her face, while her arms were still loosely linked around his neck, he traced her collarbone with his thumbs. "Wow." She said, finally breaking the silence after they had caught their breaths. Looking up, they shared a smile before continuing back to his place, this time his arm around her shoulders. ***** "Wow." She said again, getting the grand tour of Mulder's new place. Smiling inwardly, he knew that Scully would like his place. That was the main reasoning behind his final decision. His home was a typical, old style DC townhouse, with three floors, big bay windows, hardwood floors. The first floor was a big basement off the foyer and entrance hall, with a small laundry room. The second floor was the kitchen, dining room, half bathroom, and living room, while the third floor contained a huge master bedroom with its own bathroom, and two smaller rooms that had a connecting bathroom. The architecture and design were immaculate; Mulder had paid a small fortune for it, but he had the money in this life, and figured he might as well enjoy it. The furnishings were sparse for now; he hadn't had much time to go furniture shopping. He had been spending all his free time with Scully. And, of course, she called him on it. "Planning on doing the minimalist look here Mulder?" He was giving her the grand tour of the second floor and were now standing in the living room area, which was currently empty besides some boxes of books. She turned and faced him, a hint of amusement on her face. She had been in the alcove of the bay window, staring into the moonlight street, entranced by the evening's tranquility. "Umm, actually, there was something I wanted to ask you, a favor, actually." Hands on her slim hips, the eyebrow rose. "Which would be...?" "Well, your place is so tastefully decorated that I was wondering if you could help me pick out some things for my place. Otherwise, this place would become a big dorm room. I trust your judgment better than mine." Wasn't that last statement the truth. Walking slowly to him, she traced a finger up his arm. Goose bumps rose on his skin, and her eyes meet his. "That doesn't sound very fun Mulder. It sounds very...domesticated." He swallowed hard. Praying to god he wasn't scaring her away, he chose a neutral response. "Yeah, maybe, but I need help. And I don't think Frohike would be any help." A deep chuckle came from the back of her throat. "Mulder, show me the rest of your place." Hand in hand, they walked to the third floor. He showed her the other rooms before finally bringing her to the master bedroom. There, was his one real piece of furniture he owned, the queen sized bed that sat in the middle of the room. Mulder had to admit to himself, he was trying to seduce Scully. They had not been intimate yet, though Mulder would wait another seven years for her, if necessary. He just hoped he didn't. "Nice to know you're not sleeping on the floor," she said dryly. He was standing behind her, and crept up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Bringing his lips to her neck, he kissed it lightly, taking a slight nip and sucking gently. He felt her inhale sharply and lean back into his mouth. Encouraged by her reaction, he lightly traced his tongue up to her ear, where he proceeded to trace the outer lobe with his tongue. His hands had slipped up the front of her shirt, and through the lace of her bra, found her breasts. Cupping them gently as his mouth continued to assault her ear, he pulled the material down so his fingers could touch her erect nipples, skin to skin, heat to heat. She turned on him suddenly, so they were face to face, and brought his lips down to hers in a deep, painfully starving kiss that left their previous one outside a few moments ago envious. Blindly, they stumbled backwards towards the bed. When Mulder felt the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, he sat down, never breaking his connection with Scully. His jeans felt very constricted at his engorged cock, throbbing with pleasurable pain. Crawling up so she was kneeling, knees on either side of his legs, Scully sat across his lap, and Mulder wrapped his arms around her to help her keep balance. Through his jeans and her pants, he could *feel* her heat pulsating against hers, and Mulder swallowed a groan. Pulling away, the kiss ending but the intensity was lingering, and Mulder stared deeply into Scully's eyes. Sure, he saw lust there, just like he was sure was showing in his eyes, but something deeper. Jesus, that was the look she had always had towards him. In the other life. The look he had always thought was a fondness, a friendship of developed of trust and admiration for each other, of devotion and their fierce bond, but nothing more. It suddenly hit him like a freight train. That was the look of love. A look that told him she not only trusted him with her friendship, her mind, and her body, but with her heart. And Mulder knew that being trusted with Scully's heart was the hardest wall to scale. She didn't open her heart very often, if at all; she protected it with a ferocity that scared him. How could he have missed it, missed that she was willing to hand him her heart, wanted his to have it? He kissed her gently, chastely, and leaned back again. Drinking in her features, her hair softly framing her face, the strong proud nose and chin, the high cheek bones and deliciously feminine lips, Mulder wondered how he had kept her at bay for so long. Slowly, as if she were made of porcelain, he removed her shirt and threw it across the room. Silently, he removed her bra, and stared, marveling in her perfection. Ever cell in Mulder's body was singing. They were finally crossing the line to be lovers. Holding Scully's eyes for a moment more, he leaned forward to collect his prizes in his mouth. Choosing a pink, hard nipple, he took it into his mouth, sucking gently. One hand supported her back, while the other played with the other nipple, teasing, pinching, and flicking. He switched his mouth to the other nipple, and he felt a low groan rise from Scully's chest. Her head was thrown back in pleasure, eyes closed, mouth slightly opened. When he nipped and her nipple, she grinded her hips into his, causing him to groan this time. Suddenly, they were both on the bed, laying side by side, rolling, feverishly kissing and touching. His hands roamed over her body, and found the button of her pants. Lips never breaking, he unbuttoned them and slowly pulled down the zipper. Without bothering to take the pants down, his hand traced over her navel, down to the edge of her lacy underwear, which his hand slipped easily into. Her legs parted, inviting him in. Finding her folds hot and moist, ready for him, he inserted two fingers into her center. She broke the kiss with a gasp as he pulled his fingers back out. He ran his fingers over the length of her curls, applying pressure to her clitoris. "Oh my god, Mulder." Her voice was barely a whisper, heavy with arousal. His cocked begged for a release from its confines, but Mulder decided that he could last longer if it stayed inside for a while. His lips traced down Scully's neck, lightly tracing her collarbone with his tongue. A flurry a kisses followed down to her navel, where he flicked his tongue in and out. Nudging the pants down over her hips, she obliged and lifted them slightly so he could get them off. Realizing she was still wearing shoes, he took those off, followed by her pants, followed by his shirt. Returning his attention to Scully, he stared at her, laying naked on his bed, waiting for him. He kissed her inner thigh and traced butterfly kisses to his target. He licked the entire length of her, tasting the sweetness that was pooling between her legs. Bringing his hands up, he spread her folds, inserting his tongue; licking, tasting, exploring. Finding her clit with his tongue, he took in into his mouth, while he roughly inserted two fingers to her center. Pushing his fingers in and out, he sucked hard, knowing she was close to going over the edge. Feeling her start to quiver, he simultaneously nipped at her clit while pushing in three fingers. He felt her muscles tighten, and he wished that he was inside her, to feel that tightness. "Oh my god! Oh my god, Mulder, yes, oh my god, oh Mulder!" Scully screamed, grabbing hand fulls of comforter as her orgasm hit her hard. Mulder watched in delight as her eyes squeezed shut and her body shook, breathing erratic and quick. While she came down from her sexual high, Mulder moved up so he was right next to her, to watch her face. She slowly came down, finally fluttering her eyes open and looked directly in Mulder's pleased hazel orbs. "Wow," she whispered, as she drew him in close for a kiss. The kiss was soft and gentle, and then Mulder felt a strong hand graze over his crotch. Before he knew what was happening, Mulder was pinned. Scully quickly unbuttoned his pants, and in similar fashion, he lifted his hips so she could take off his pants. She reached up for him for a quick, fierce kiss, before trailing her tongue down his neck, sternum, and stomach to his navel, all the while her fingers had found his nipples and were playing with them. Stopping at his trail of hair, Scully looked wickedly at him. She lightly traced her finger tips down his side, and Mulder felt his whole body shudder with anticipation, excitement, and arousal. Bringing her lips down his abdomen, she found her goal, and Mulder sucked in a harsh breath as she licked the top of his penis, tracing her tongue in circles around it, barely taking in the head with her lips. Then quickly, she swallowed him in whole, and simultaneously took his balls into her hands, cupping them and squeezing, not quite gently, but not quite hard either. Mulder's breathing quickened, and she left him breathless, wordless. Moving her mouth up and down his shaft, slowly increasing in speed, Mulder felt his willpower slowly dwindling away. In a panic, he pulled her up quickly. He did not want his first time with her to be him coming in her mouth. There would be plenty of time for that later. Mulder saw the confusion in her eyes, but when blue met hazel, she seemed to understand. Wordlessly, he carefully rolled on top of her and was about to enter her when a gentle hand stopped him. "Mulder?" Oh god, he thought. She's having second thoughts. His voice squeaked, as if he were going through puberty again. "Yeah?" Bringing her hands up to his face, she brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Protection?" Mulder breathed an audible sigh of relief when he realized she didn't want to stop. He would have, but he really didn't want to. He had forgotten in the height of passion that she still had her ova, and that she didn't know his medical history like the back of her hand. Thanking himself for planning ahead when he was in the right frame of mind, he reached to the top drawer of the filing cabinet playing nightstand, and pulled out a condom. She grabbed it from him and ripped open the package. "Let me," she whispered, and rolled it onto his anxiously awaiting penis. When she was done, she kept one hand on him while she guided him into her. In one swift motion they were intertwined in the most intimate fashion. Their eyes never left one another's, and Mulder seriously thought he might cry. He was finally getting to be intimate with the woman he cared about more than any body or anything else in his life, in the world. The couple moved slowly, hips meeting hips. They kept their eyes open, wordlessly sharing the moment. She came quietly but intensely, nails gripping into his shoulders. Muscles clutching around Mulder, he came quickly after her. When they both settled back down to earth, Mulder turned them to their sides, not wanting to leave her quite yet. He didn't want to feel that loss. Pushing her hair from her cheek, he stared deeply into her eyes, trying to read her feelings. He was in awe himself. He and Scully had finally had sex, done the naked pretzel, consummated their relationship. He and Scully had just made love. Her eyes were bright, lips swollen from all their kisses. Leaning in, he gave her another sweet, loved filled kiss. Finally breaking apart, Mulder quickly discarded the condom and engulfed her in his arms, nose in her hair, smelling the sweet scent of Scully mixed in with the tangy smell of sex. They laid in comfortable silence. Like so many times before, no words were necessary to express their feelings towards each other. Their bond was strong enough that words couldn't describe accurately what they were feeling. An aura of content settled among them, and the new found lovers fell asleep like that, in a tangled embrace, with the moonlight shining in on them and their finally found happiness. ***** May 17, 1992 9:42 am Mulder Residence Washington, DC Mulder awoke with a start, heart beating rapidly as he realized the other side of the bed was cool, empty. Rubbing his hands over his face he wondered if last night was a dream. Flinging his legs over the side of the bed, he searched, with his eyes, for his boxers. Finding not only the black silk, but Scully's garments from yesterday as well, he realized, happily, that last night wasn't a dream and she hadn't had second thoughts and left this morning. As he put the boxers on, the smell of freshly brewing coffee hit him, and he headed downstairs with a bounce in his step. He found her in the kitchen, hair tousled and unbrushed, no make-up and freckles showing, wearing his gray bathrobe. Grinning, he saw that the same robe that would go halfway down his calves brushed the floor on her. Mulder thought Scully looked absolutely stunning. She hadn't heard him enter yet; she was focused on going through his sparse cabinets, trying to find, he guessed, cups, creamer, sugar. Taking the opportunity, he snuck up on her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, laying his chin on her shoulder. "Morning," he mumbled quietly in her ear, leaning in a giving her a brief kiss on her neck right under the ear. To his delight, he felt her lean back into him. "Morning," she replied, voice scratchy still from sleep. "Did you sleep okay?" He wrapped his arms tighter around her, pulling her close, still unable to believe he truly had her in his arms. "Mmm, never better." Scully turned around suddenly to face him, and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Good. I think that was the best night's sleep I've ever gotten." Mulder's voice was joking, but he was completely serious. Leaning in, their lips touched. Mulder liked the taste of her in the morning, sleepy, tangy yet fresh. He groaned as their kiss deepened, and his body responded with enthusiasm. She tangled her hands through his hair, and he brought his hands around to the front of the robe to work on untying it. His goal was almost accomplished when a brutal, harsh knock came from the direction the front door. Mulder groaned again, closing his eyes in frustration as they broke apart, and he could see that Scully looked highly disappointed as well. Looking down at him and his obvious arousal, Scully smirked. "Would you like me to get the door and you put on some more clothes, make yourself presentable?" Letting out a little chuckle while Scully tightened the front of the robe again, he bounded upstairs while she went down the opposite flight to answer the door. Searching quickly, Mulder found a pair of gray sweatpants, and slipped them on. He grabbed a t-shirt and put it on over his head as he ran down the stairs. "Scully, who is it?" he called out, taking the stairs two at a time. The sooner they could get that person on his or her way, the sooner they could go back to bed. There had to be a law protecting him if he shot a door to door sale's person for bothering him this early on a Saturday. He finished pulling the shirt over his head as he reached the bottom of the stairs in the entrance way. What he saw made his blood run cold. There stood Scully, arms wrapped around herself tightly, lips pursed together into a fine white line. Standing in the doorway was Phoebe, looking more pissed off than normal, hands on her hips, jaw set. When Mulder reached the final step, Scully nodded at him, and with a look of complete neutrality, said, "I'll leave you two alone." She brushed past him to go up the stairs, arms still protectively around herself, and Mulder resisted the urge to hold her back, keep her down there for strength and protection. Letting out a sigh of irritation, he turned to face Phoebe. "What the hell do you want, Phoebe?" Voice dripping with irritation, Mulder folded his arms across his chest. "Oh come on Fox, aren't you going to invite me in to see your new place?" Her voice was dripping with sweetness, and she stepped forward to place a hand on his chest. He brushed that hand off of him like she was a big, ugly bug. Giving her a look of disinterest, he asked his question again. "What do you want?" Phoebe eyes wondered upstairs to where Scully had disappear. "Really Fox, how long has *this* been going on? You know, because of the prenuptial, this is really going to hurt your case. Was she worth it, Fox? Do you really think you can replace me that easily?" Mulder gave her a tight smile. "This," he gestured faintly up the stairs "happened after the divorce papers were drawn up, so I am not in violation of the prenuptial agreement." Silently, Mulder thank his lawyer for being smart enough to check for a prenuptial. Mulder wouldn't have guessed he would have signed something like that. He looked her directly in the eyes before continuing. "And she is more than worth it. I am not worthy of her, but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Ever. She completes me. Simply. Fully. She makes me a whole person." Mulder figured that phrase sounded good once, he might as well use it again, especially since it was the truth. "The sex is that good, I take it." Letting out a breath of disbelief, Mulder placed his hands on his hips before continuing. "My sex life is none of your concern now. However, it isn 't about the physical, but the emotional. It's about how I feel when I'm with her, how she makes me feel. It's as if our souls were destined to be together. But you wouldn't know anything about that would you? For you, it was always about control, both mental and physical. You wouldn't know what it's like to love and care for someone more than you do for yourself." Mulder pushed her towards the door, anxious to get Phoebe out and to talk with Scully. He knew what ever steps forward they had taken last night in their relationship, Phoebe's arrival had pushed them backwards at least double, if not triple. To add to the irony that Mulder sometimes laughingly called his life, Phoebe dropped the final bomb on his semblance of happiness. "Fox, you should know, I'm pregnant." ***** Five Days Later May 22, 1992 Office of Section Chief Mulder 3:32 pm Mulder anxiously tapped his pencil against the desk. Glaring at the ceiling for not being the kind he could throw pencils into, he turned his attention to the phone. He had been waiting for a phone call all day, and it still hadn't come. After Phoebe had dropped her news on him Saturday morning, he insisted she take a paternity test. When she refused, Mulder's suspicions had been confirmed: she had been having an affair, and it was a possibility that the baby was not his. Since it had been well over two months since he and Phoebe had been together, and she was far enough along that she thought it could be Mulder's, it meant that she had violated the prenuptial if she had the suspicions that the paternity test could come out negative, therefore refusing to take the test. Sighing, Mulder spun in his chair. It's not like he didn't want kids- he just didn't want them with her. Once this divorce was done, he wanted no connection to Phoebe what so ever. He had thought a lot about kids lately, after Scully, in his other life, had decided she wanted to try for children and she had asked him to be the donor. He had gone about it in a neutral manner, unsure of what role Scully wanted him to play- just the DNA, or a father, or a friend. When the in vitro process failed, an awkwardness fell slightly upon them. His questions still lingered, unanswered, and she was heartbroken. And, in usual Mulder-Scully style, they hadn't discussed it since. When she had asked him, he had been honored, and frankly wanted to be more than the second necessity for the child to be created- he wanted to be the kid's father. Especially when he knew Scully had been barren all those years. In all honesty, he couldn't see himself, then or now, creating a family with anyone else but Scully. Life had just thrown him another curve ball of irony by providing him the opportunity for a family, but with the person he ranked as being about as pleasant as snakes. A harsh ring broke Mulder out of his thoughts, and his eyes grew wide when he realized it was the phone. He had finally gotten Phoebe to agree to the test because of the legality behind the divorce settlements. He had also gotten the doctor to promise to call him directly, rather than wait for Phoebe; she would probably lie to him anyway. Picking up the phone quickly, Mulder answered rather breathlessly. "Mulder." ***** Office of Dana Scully 3:41 pm Mulder touched the nameplate. She had gone so many years without one, and now, here it was: Dana Scully, M.D. Head of Forensic Pathology It would only be a matter of time before she became his boss, Mulder thought ruefully. He hesitated before knocking- things were kind of on thin ice between them after Saturday. They had talked briefly before Scully had left, after she had over heard his declarations and Phoebe's ploys. Basically, she had told him, though not in these exact words, that she was afraid they were moving too fast, he needed to get his shit together, and she needed time to process everything. Mulder had respected her wishes, calling her sporadically to see how she was doing in her new position, but keeping the conversation very neutral and short, and avoiding the rift that had developed between them. He was nervous to tell her the news. In one sense, he was elated that Phoebe 's child was in fact, not his. Hell- elated, ecstatic, relieved didn't describe how he was feeling. Not only because of the obvious, but now he could get anything he wanted out of the divorce since there was hard evidence, proof that she had violated the prenuptial. However, he was deathly afraid Scully would interpret everything the wrong way- his happiness at not fathering this child, of even having a prenuptial, of this messy divorce. Now or never, Mulder thought to himself. He knew that Scully knew the results came back today. Walking into her outer office with false bravery, he nodded to her secretary, who in turn nodded and replied with a "Sir." that indicated to Mulder that he could enter. Knocking lightly, he didn't hear a response, so he creaked open the door softly. Resisting the urge to laugh, he took in the scenery. Scully was buried in paperwork- it was in several piles on her desk, a couple feet high, and there were several stacks at her feet. Her hair was put up, held in place by a pencil. Another pencil was behind her ear, and she was chewing on a third one. The blazer jacket he assumed she was wearing earlier was haphazardly hung on a coat rack, and her shoes had been kicked in that general direction. In all though, she may have looked frazzled, but she also looked very much in command, in control. Mulder surmised that she had been spending at least 16 hours a day in the office this week. Taking a quick glance around the office, Mulder realized that her office was bigger and more plush than his. He would just have to find excuses to spend more time in here. Clearing his throat, he let out a soft "Hey," to try not to scare her. She was buried intently in some report, and he could see the Scully mind working frantically behind her otherwise neutral eyes. Looking up, she blinked a couple of times in surprise before she placed the file on a small patch of empty desk space. She put the pencil she had been gnawing on behind the other ear that did not have one yet. "Hey, have a seat." Mulder sat in one of the chairs facing her desk. He then realized that he could not see her over the piles. She must have understood that as well, because the next thing he knew she was sitting in the chair next to him. Trying to keep his eyes from wandering to her shapely calves that were exposed beyond the knee length skirt, he looked Scully directly in her eyes, which remained in neutral. "You have news." Mulder nodded. He might as well get it all out in the air. "Turned out I was right; her coming to me like that was a ploy to try to get more out of the divorce or get me to come back. I honestly don't think she expected me to demand a paternity test. Now, since she's in violation of the prenuptial, this divorce will go so much quicker. So, yeah, the baby isn't mine. And there's proof of her infidelity now." He knew he was talking in circles, but he said everything he needed to tell, at least regarding this afternoon's phone call. "I see. I suppose congratulations are in order." Scully's voice was cold and detached, and her eyes still remained well guarded. "Don't get me wrong Scully. If that kid had been mine, I would have loved it and would have tried to be the best father I could. However, I am glad that it's not, because I don't want that kind of connection to Phoebe. A child should be born of love between two people, and that would not have been the case here. Yes, I am relieved, not because I don't want children, which I do, eventually, but I don't want children with her. There's the distinction. She is a mistake from my youth that I'm trying to rid myself of and start over. And, I hope that this new turn in my life will include you. Even though we've only known each other for a short amount of time Scully, you mean more to me than she ever did; than anyone else will ever be. And, if I need to wait for you, if you need more time to process all this, if you need more time to believe me, to trust me, than I will wait a lifetime for you." During his speech, Mulder had moved from the chair and was kneeling before Scully, hands on top of hers which were clenched in her lap. He looked up at her, eyes open and shining with emotion. God, he couldn't bare to loose her. Her eyes were still neutral, she her licked her lips and looked away from him before she spoke. "Mulder, I'm not very good at talking about or even displaying my feelings, my emotions. But when I'm with you, I feel like, well, how you described it, that you complete me. Not that I wasn't or couldn't be fine on my own, but I 'm better with you, that, as you put it, that I'm a whole person. And this scares me Mulder. It scares the shit me. What is even more frightening is that in the short amount of time we've known each other, I feel like you know me better than I know myself. I feel like we've known each other for years. I can't explain it, but for some reason we have this instantaneous connection, a bond that takes some people lifetimes to make. You have already become my best friend. I just think, I don't know, that were on a train that is going out of control because we're not looking where we're going; because we're moving too fast. And I'm just so afraid that the train is going to crash." Mulder didn't realize he was crying until he saw the tears hit Scully's skirt. Looking up, he saw that Scully was on the verge of tears herself, and when they made eye contact, her tears started to flow as well. "Scully, I promise you, that I will never intentionally crash that train. I will do everything to keep us railed, to keep us safe. I can't promise there won't be bumps in the way, but, these past few days have been my most miserable." "I know, me too." She gave him a sad smile and stroked his hair. Mulder wrapped his arms around her, and brought his head to her stomach, where he hugged her tightly, and vowed never to let go. ***** Over One Year Later Friday, November 3, 1993 6:14 am Omaha, Nebraska The past year had been one of the most amazing for Mulder. His divorce went smoothly, and last April he was legally single again. Officially, he was "taken" and everyone knew it. He and Scully had grown incredibly close over the past twenty months. Mulder's "former" life was that of a distant memory for him. When those memories did penetrate his thoughts, he wondered how he could've survived that life without Scully by his side as a life partner, rather than just a work partner. This weekend they were at a convention where both were ironically invited to be key note speakers. The convention was for law enforcement in the mid-west, and the weekend was called "Forensics and Violent Crimes- How to Increase Your Solve Rates Through Cooperation". He was thrilled that he and Scully would be working together again. Sure, it wasn't a X-File, but it was better than nothing. And since the convention was being hosted by the Bureau and on the Bureau's dime, once Mulder realized both he and Scully were were attending he pulled some strings so they could share one room. They had flown in late last night from DC, and had effectively crashed after unpacking. Opening one eye, Mulder peeked at Scully, pretending to be asleep. He loved looking at her in the mornings. The winter sun's rays peeked through the curtains, gently illuminating her face. She was sitting up, engrossed in the morning paper. Hair all tousled, she was wearing a simple, yet elegant silk nightgown edged with soft lace in a burgundy color that seemed to enhance her hair and make her skin glow. "Mulder, quit staring at me and pretending to be asleep. You know I hate it when you do that." Scully's eyes never left the paper. "Why don't you like it? I love it; I love looking at you." He took the paper from her hands and threw it on the other side of the bed. Snuggling close, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her abdomen. "It makes me feel like a lab rat or something of the effect. Like I'm being studied and watched- and not in the sense that I know you will make a comment about." Scully's hands were playing with Mulder's hair, and a sigh of contentment fell over him. "Hey Scully?" "Yeah?" "Let's get married." This wasn't a last minute whim of Mulder's; he had been thinking long and hard about it for over a year now. But as he felt the hands in his hair stop moving, he wondered if he made a mistake. "What- Mulder, it sounded like you just asked me to marry you." Untangling himself, Mulder drew himself up so he was sitting side by side with Scully. He looked into her eyes, which were masked with both disbelief and a bit of fear. "Scully, you heard right. I want us to get married. I want to marry you. And, I've learned from my mistakes, and I know that this time around will be forever, so you can't use that as an excuse." "What makes you think I'd give you reasons to not get married?" "Because I know you Scully. You'll rationalize every little bit of this, of my proposal. Why we shouldn't. Why we can't. Let's just do it; I think you feel the same way about me that I feel about you. We've been together for almost two years now Scully, I think this is *the* rational next step, a step we should take care of now." "Mulder you make it sound like you want us to get married today." Mulder could swear she was trying to hide a smile as she spoke. "Why couldn't we? The state of Nebraska doesn't have a waiting period, doesn 't require blood tests or that you be a citizen of the state." "Somehow, I think you could charm an vegetarian into eating a steak. However Mulder, we are not here on vacation. We're here to work. I'm surprised the Bureau is even allowing us to share a room. Plus, I do not want to get married in Nebraska with a bunch of cows. I can't just run off and get married- I have my religion and family to think of." Mulder's face fell, and he began to pull away from her. Somehow, he knew that this life was too good to be true and that he would screw it up somehow. His heart lightened though when she tightened her grip around him, refusing to let him go. "Mulder, look at me." He did, trying unsuccessfully to shield the hurt from his eyes. Scully smiled, and gave him a gentle kiss. "That's not a no, that's just a not right now. Let's just think it through some more, so it doesn't end up being a last minute weekend event. Let's plan it to make it special." Mulder suppress a grin. "So you'll marry me Scully?" "I'll marry you Mulder." He didn't try to suppress his grin anymore. Leaning in, Mulder kissed her deeply and thoroughly. Breaking apart breathlessly just quick enough to release Scully of her confining nightgown, he brought his mouth back down upon hers, hands frantically roaming her body as he rolled over on top of her. Mulder pulled back and stared down at Scully, taking in her flushed cheeks and swollen lips, breasts rising and falling rapidly with her breathing, nipples taunt and ready. His heart beat caught in his throat, and he swallowed the lump forming in it as he once again couldn't believe how lucky he was. Ripping off his boxers and her panties quickly, he slipped inside her smoothly, their eyes never leaving each other's as they wordlessly began to make love. ***** Civic Hall Convention Center Downtown Omaha, Nebraska 10:57 am "And now I'd like to turn things over to my esteemed colleague, Dr. Dana Scully." A round of polite applause followed as Mulder stepped down from the podium. Glancing at Scully, he resisted the urge to break out in a goofy grin. He could count on one hand the number of women in the room, yet Scully commanded the attention of every single person, men and women alike. Mulder felt the smile begin to fall across his face as he took in all the appreciative looks of the men from around the room. Sorry buddies, he thought to himself, she's taken and she's mine. "Thank you, Agent Mulder. As you know, forensic evidence is the key to any criminal investigation. When there is a murder or death involved, the forensics become even more crucial. The dead victim has left a story, and it 's your job to figure out what that story is. Many times, in smaller communities like the ones you all represent, the pathologist conducting the autopsy may not be as adept to criminal investigation and what kind of criminal evidence to look for. In instances such as these, it is imperative that you, as the investigator, not only be present for the autopsy, but have first hand knowledge of what to look for during the autopsy, while balancing a fair amount of discretion, allowing the pathologist to complete his or her work without interference." As Scully kept speaking, Mulder began to be lulled by the throaty sound of her voice. He began to think of planning a vacation for the two of them for the Thanksgiving holiday. They both had a fair amount of vacation time saved up. Now to convince her... "And if any of you are a little weak in the stomach, I suggest eating a light lunch, because we will be performing a real autopsy when you return. We will see you all back here at 2 pm." Light applause scattered again as chairs scraped and folder snapped shut. Mulder didn't have a chance to even stand up before Scully was surrounded by several attendees. "Dr. Scully, how would you like to join me for lunch? I know the area well..." "Dr. Scully, I really found your lecture fascinating. Perhaps we could go somewhere and talk a little more in depth..." "Dr. Scully, I would love to hear more about your work in the Bureau..." Mulder noticed that Scully look slightly amused. One eyebrow was up, and the corners of her mouth were twitching. He decided to hang back momentarily, knowing that Scully could well handle this herself, and was frankly finding the whole situation entertaining as well. "Gentlemen, I am truly flattered by your offers. However, I think my fiance wouldn't be too happy if I accepted. Thank you though." Scully returned her attention to packing up her briefcase, and the men started to back away. Mulder though, couldn't resist rubbing their disappointment in a little bit more. "Hey Scully," he said simply as he walked up to her side, standing close and placing his hand on the small of her back. Looking up, he gave the other men a smug look, and reveled in the comprehension that flashed across their faces. Without looking up, Scully said in a dry voice, "Mulder you can quit the alpha-male posturing. I think I already broke their hearts once." Closing her briefcase with a snap, she looked up, a cross between amusement and annoyance dancing in her eyes. "Ohhh...you wanton you. Your fianc must be a lucky man." They started heading toward the door, so absorbed in their own world and each other that they were oblivious to the stares that followed them. "Mmm...he's lucky I put up with him, yes." She bit her lip from laughing at the look on Mulder's face. Weaving his fingers through hers, he was very happy when she didn't object. Not that they were breaking protocol, but she still liked to be discrete when they were in a professional setting. "You called me your fianc Scully." "That's what you are, isn't it?" "I know, it just sounds so good coming from your lips." "These lips also regularly call you a pompous ass." "Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me." Rolling her eyes as they stepped out to the chilled bright sunlight, she turned to face him. "Mulder, you're insufferable." Cupping her face between both hands, he grazed her lips with a quick kiss. A slight blush covered her face, and Mulder saw her eyes glance sideways, nervous at who may have saw them. She was very uncomfortable with public displays of affection, even little ones. Finally she looked him back in the eyes and brought her hands up to his. "And you dear fiance, my dear Scully, are phenomenally breathtaking." "Keep talking like that Mulder and I just might end up marrying you after all." Grinning at each other, their fingers intertwined again as they took off to find lunch. ***** Douglas County Morgue Omaha, Nebraska 4:47 pm Mulder sat back in his chair on the opposite side of the room listening intently to all the questions being asked of Scully. Technically, he didn't have to be present for the autopsy; the majority of his presentation was going to be tomorrow morning. But he stayed, telling himself since the convention was teaching local law enforcement how to play nice with others, he might as well set an example. In all honesty, he just didn't want to be away from Scully for that long. Plus, it was pure enjoyment to watch these burly small town law enforcement agents who had been born and bred on corn and steak loose their tough image as they lost their lunch during the autopsy. At least seven men had to leave the room at one point or another while Scully was slicing and dicing, to go pray to the porcelain god. Frankly, Mulder got a thrill out of watching Scully be so cool and collected, analytical, searching for the facts and not blinking at the sight of a dead person's small intestine. He wished however, that these people would quit talking so he and Scully could get out of there. Mulder could tell that Scully was feeling the same way; she was always exhausted after an autopsy. Maybe she didn't remain so detached during an autopsy after all, Mulder thought, if she leaves each one so tired. As if reading his thoughts, one of the attendees seemed to take the words right out of Mulder's mind as he asked his question. "Dr. Scully, and I mean this with all due respect, but how do you remain so cool and detached the whole time? I know that you're trained to do so, we all are in a way, but the whole time you were conduction the autopsy, I just couldn't pull away from the fact that a few days ago, that man was breathing, living, probably laughing, enjoying life. He probably has a family missing him somewhere. He probably had things he still wanted to do, and I guess, how do you not feel surrounded or disturbed by all his regrets that still linger?" For a moment, Mulder saw Scully's jaw go slightly slack as she blinked a couple of times and inhaled a deep breath. But it was only a moment, and if one had blinked, he or she would have missed the break in the unflappable Dr. Scully. Mulder knew, that for whatever reasons, the question posed had stirred something in Scully, had hit a note within Scully's internal emotions. She answered in a very quite voice. "I can remain like that because I know I 'm trying to give to justice to the dreams, the hopes, those regrets, that never got to be experienced and fulfilled. I'm trying to speak for this man who can no longer speak for himself." The room remained silent, humbled and awed. Scully's eyes clouded over, as if deep in thought. The moment was broken by Scully clearing her throat roughly. "I think sessions today are dismissed. We hope to see everyone at the reception tonight." Taking off the goggles that had been perched on the top of her head during the question and answer period, without looking up from the man she had just cut opened and exposed, she called out to Mulder. PART 3 - The Fate of Time He was by her side in a second. "What's wrong Scully?" Looking up to him, she smile a slight, almost wistful smile. "Nothing's wrong. Everything is so clear right now, it's frightening. Were you listening to the questions?" Mulder nodded, and Scully continued. "That last question kind of threw me for a loop. I began to think, what if that had been you on the bay? Or me? What regrets would I have for myself, for you? We only get so many chances, so many moments in our lives. How many are wasted by the silly things that ultimately don't matter? If we knew that we were going to die the next day, would we still act and react as we normally would? Or would we seize life by the hand, live for the moment, and enjoy the ride as we went?" Opening his mouth, Mulder went to respond, but found himself speechless. He wasn't exactly sure where Scully was going with this. "Mulder, I have always lived my life by the book, with order, with planning. I thought that was the best way to really live life, that you got more out of life that way. And, I still firmly believe that. You work hard, you will be rewarded. However, I guess I just had an epiphany of sorts. There are some things in life, gifts that shouldn't be taken for granted and if you don't seize upon them, seize that moment with them, they could be gone before you know it. I need to learn to enjoy the gifts in life that I do have, and not wait for life to fit them into my schedule, my sense of order, or way of previous understandings. Mulder." Scully grabbed both of his hands with hers and squeezed gently. "*You* are my gift in life. I want you with me forever, and I want to seize this moment with you before it slips away or is taken from us. Why wait for something we both want, when we could have it and enjoy life at it's fullest, for what it's given us?" Throat feeling dry, Mulder tried to swallow before he croaked a weak, "Scully?" It was one word that said a thousand. Giving him a soft smile, slight tears came to her eyes as she spoke. "What time does the courthouse close?" ***** Ramada Inn Historic Old Market Downtown Omaha, Nebraska 7:03 pm Mulder guided Scully into the reception room with his hand upon the small of her back. It was a nice room, a bit small, but it seemed as though no one minded and everyone was having a good time. The room had a high, positive bustle of energy about it. Tonight there was a small reception for all those who came to the conference, a chance to get to know one another outside the business setting. A chance to meet, to mingle. Personally, Mulder wanted to get out of there as quickly at possible and have Scully all to himself. Preferably in their bed. But, being the two main speakers, it was required of them to make an adequate appearance. They had made it to the courthouse after Scully had quickly changed from her scrubs just in time to get the marriage license application filled out, and to get married. By the time that was over, the reception had already started, so Mulder and Scully went straight to the Ramada, still in the suits they had been wearing all day. To Mulder, it only seemed appropriate that Scully's wedding dress would actually be a black tailored suit. She had been very quite since they left the courthouse, and Mulder was beginning to wonder if she was regretting what they had just done. Spontaneous was not Scully's middle name. When she grabbed his hand and led him over to the open bar, Mulder's fears began to subside, slightly. "What can I get for you beautiful?" Was it just Mulder, or was the bartender leering at Scully, rather than just being friendly? He felt like grabbing the slime ball by the collar and yelling at him to quit flirting with his wife, but thought better of it when he could just picture Scully's reaction. She'd probably castrate him for behaving like that. Scully leaned over the bar slightly and gave the bartender a big smile. Batting her eyelashes a few times, she asked him, "Can I get an un-opened bottle of your most expensive wine?" Mulder felt his eyebrows raise to his hairline. Scully was flirting with the bartender? On their wedding night? Was this a reaction of sorts, some kind of wedding post traumatic stress disorder? The bartender grinned back, and replied, "I can't do that sweetheart. This may be an open bar, but it's not a buffet." Right, Mulder thought. Nice line jerk-off. "Please?" She batted her eyelashes a few more times. Mulder watched the bartender blush slightly and nod. "Okay, but don't tell anyone. It'll be my job otherwise." While they waited for the bartender to return, Scully refused to meet Mulder 's eyes. For some odd reason, Mulder chose to stay quiet, morbid curiosity getting the better of him. "Here you go sweet cakes," he said, as the bartender uncorked the bottle and handed it over to her. "How about two glasses?" There went those eyelashes again. "Sure thing." The bartender handed over the glasses to Scully, appraised her, and asked, "Now, just who are you going to share this bottle with, beautiful? Surely you're not planning to drink it alone. I *do* get off work in ten minutes." Mulder watched as Scully's smile froze. "Oh I plan on sharing this with my husband, thank you for asking. I'll be sure to tell him you get off work in ten minutes in case he wants to thank you personally for getting us this bottle, and for being so flattering by calling me sweet cakes." Gone was the sultry voice, replaces with the interrogation voice. Not able to help it, Mulder laughed outloud. Scully finally turned to him, humor brimming in her eyes as she linked arms with him, being careful of the wine glasses, and led him across the room to the sliding doors to the sun deck. "Scully, what was that all about?" he choked out as they took seats overlooking the Heartland of America Park and the colored fountain that glowed in the night sky. The air was cool with wind coming gently off the Missouri River, not quite frozen over yet. The sun deck was somewhat closed in a sheer plastic covering, so it was comfortable enough to sit out there. The sounds of downtown and the Old Market filtered through as Friday night in Omaha was in full swing. "It was called using my feminine charms to get myself and my husband a bottle of wine to enjoy on our wedding night, since we have to be stuck here. Might as well take advantage of the situation." She paused in her pouring to look up at Mulder, who felt his heart go into triple time at the site of her. Cheeks flushed with partial excitement, partial cold, she had a smile about her that seemed to grow by the second. Her eyes sparkled brightly, and Mulder felt himself drowning in the waves of blue they emitted. "Wow, Mulder, we're married now." Her smile grew even bigger as she handed him his glass. Mulder felt his smile grow to match hers. "I know. Does that mean *I* can call you sweet cakes?" "Not unless you want to be permanently limping and delegated to sleeping on the couch the rest of your life." "The rest of my life..." Mulder trailed off as the moment fully hit him. "Hey Scully, we're married." Scully's eyes brightened even more over the edge of her wine glass. "Didn't I *just* say that?" Grinning, she reached over the chair and grabbed Mulder' s hand, interlacing their fingers. "I suppose we should talk now though." Feeling his eyebrows scrunched together, Mulder looked at Scully a little warily. "Talk? This isn't where you tell me you used to be a man, is it?" She squeezed his hand. "Now that you mention it..." Her voice was completely serious, and Mulder looked over at her in alarm. Looking a little embarrassed by how serious he was taking her joke, Scully's corners of her lips twitched as she tried not to laugh. "I mean we need to talk about working out the details Mulder. Like moving in together together, living under one roof." Mulder played with her fingers as she spoke. "Getting you and obnoxiously big diamond." "Letting people know we're finally not living in sin." "Would that require telling our families?" Mulder was not looking forward to meeting Bill Jr. under these circumstances. He was bound to hate him in this life too, for running off with his sister and getting married. "Mulder, my family's going to kill us." Scully trailed off and licked her lips, as if she were hovering to say something important. "What is it Scully?" "Mulder, I'm not changing my name." Looking straight forward, Mulder tried to catch her eye, but she refused to look at him. "I know Scully, I know. I wouldn't have it any other way." Mulder felt his heart melt as she looked over at him, a gentle smile falling across her lips. "Good. Does that mean I get to call you Mr. Scully?" The laughter of the two newlyweds faded into the winter night, as they cuddled close under the blanket of protection from the stars. ***** Thanksgiving Day November 23, 1993 Mulder/Scully Residence 8:03 am "Mulder, get down here, we're going to be late!" For such a tiny woman, Mulder thought, Scully sure did have a set of lungs on her. They had been married for almost three weeks, and today was D-Day. D as in dead. D as in disaster. D as in disowned. D as in they were finally going to tell Scully's family. Since returning from the conference in Omaha, they had decided to move Scully into Mulder's townhouse permanently. Though it was slow going, most of Scully's things were now in their home, and even more painfully slow was the merging of their things in a cohesive fashion. Mulder knew it was driving Scully crazy, not having her usual sense of order at home, but work was extremely busy and they both had been working extra long hours. Which was also the reason why they hadn't gotten around to buying rings yet. Staring at himself in the mirror in their bathroom and taking a huge breath to calm his nerves, Mulder let the breath out slowly and audibly. They were having family Thanksgiving dinner at the senior Scully's house, and Mulder did not want to go. He had met Mrs. Scully several times already in this life, but never Mr. Scully in either life. Bill Jr. and his girlfriend Tara were going to be present, but Charlie was at sea and Missy was MIA. What was he going to tell these people? 'Hi, I'm the person your daughter/sister has been dating for two years now. Sorry we haven't met, by the way, without giving regard to any of you or her Catholic upbringing, we got married three weeks ago in a courthouse in a cornfield. Pass the gravy, please.' Groaning, Mulder drug himself downstairs and to the living room, where he knew Scully was waiting for him. Great, on top of everything else he had to fear today, she looked annoyed with him. Crossing her arms, she gave him the eyebrow, and Mulder felt himself physically wince. He knew he was in trouble if he got the eyebrow. "Mulder, quit moping. We have to do this sooner or later. It might as well be now so we can get it over with in one shot." While she spoke, Mulder found a great spot near the toe of his shoe to stare at. He felt her approach and grab his hand gently. "Hey," she started in a much softer voice, "I'm just as nervous as you. I'll be honest with you- my family, our family is going to be upset that we did this without them. But that's okay, and they'll forgive us and understand why we did it. Why we needed to do it for us alone, and at that moment. We might be facing some rough waters, but at least we're facing them together." He looked up in her soothing eyes, trepidation still dancing in his. "Come on Mulder, I'll let you ravish me tonight if you're a good boy." Mulder feigned disinterest. "You let me do that anyway. Give me something else, something that entices me." She gave him a once over as she opened the door and ushered him out. The winter had been unseasonably warm, and many of the trees still held their leaves. The sun was shining brightly, mocking Mulder's mood, and the air was crisp. Locking the front door, Scully turned to face him. "How do you feel about fur-lined handcuffs Mulder?" ***** Thanksgiving Day November 23, 1993 1:27 pm Scully Residence Baltimore, Maryland Mulder nervously jiggled his knee up and down underneath the table, and eyed the food in front of him suspiciously. His stomach was too tied up into knots to eat. So far, the day had gone exceptionally well, but it was still early and he and Scully hadn't dropped their news yet. Almost jumping out of his skin when he felt Scully's cool hand touch his knee, silently telling him to stop fidgeting, Mulder resisted the urge to down the entire bottle of wine setting on the table. Maggie Scully had greeting them with open arms, hugging them both, and Bill Scully Senior had engulfed his youngest daughter in a big hug, before looking Mulder over once and extending him a hand, slapping him on the back like they were new best friends. Even Bill Junior had taken an immediate liking to Mulder, following his father's gestures of greeting, and Tara was friendly and very, well, not pregnant. The only other time Mulder had met her was when she was pregnant with Matthew. The day had been very relaxing, very laid back, with both the men and women helping prepare the meal with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade filtering through in the background. All the while, Mulder was scared to even touch Scully, let alone look at her. He was afraid they'd give themselves away. Scully must have caught on, because she would throw him bemused glances, trying to hold the corners of her mouth down, trying not to laugh at him. Mulder didn't know whether to be hurt or grateful. Dinner was fabulous, and Mulder somehow was making it through, speaking when necessary, laughing on cue, occasionally being witty. His mind was on complete autopilot. Suddenly, he felt a soft, warm, impossibly small yet strong hand cover his under the table, feeling alien next to his horribly clammy and sweaty one. Counting to ten, Mulder tried to prevent himself from hyperventilating. He knew what was left unsaid behind that touch- she was about to tell them. It was a scene out of a sappy comedy movie. Suddenly both Scully and Bill Junior blurted, "We have something we need to tell you." The siblings looked at each other in shock, then both dissolved in nervous giggles, while Tara smiled in amusement, Maggie and Bill Senior shared a knowing glance, and Mulder tried desperately to keep himself from crawling under the table and hiding. "You first," Scully gasped, when she finally calmed down somewhat. "Well," Bill Junior began, looking at Tara and then back at everyone else. "I've asked Tara to marry me, and she's accepted." A round of congratulations, smiles, and a few happy tears followed, and Mulder thought he even managed to blink for their happiness. After all had quieted down somewhat, Maggie turned to Scully and Mulder. "Well, Dana? Fox?" Scully smiled her thousand watt smile she rarely shared, and Mulder felt all his strength flow back through his veins. No matter what happened, they would still have each other. He didn't have to be nervous for anything. Except maybe when Bill Junior lunged across the table with the carving knife aiming for Mulder's jugular after they told their secret. Clearing her throat, Scully squeezed Mulder's hand, and he knew that she was just as nervous. For some odd reason, that was more reassuring than anything else. "Um, well, we kind of have a similar announcement. Mulder and I decided we wanted to get married a few weeks ago. And," she raised her voice above everyone else's as everyone started to say their congratulations, "we did. November 3." The table went silent, and the expected blank stares and shocked eyes bored into Mulder and Scully. Finally Bill Senior spoke. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Mulder finally found something in him that gave him courage to speak up. Scully didn't need to do all the work, after all. They were in this together, for better or for worse. "Scul-er, ah, Dana and I got married November 3. Three weeks ago tomorrow." The silence was deafening. Maggie's face went pale, while her husband's grew red. Bill Junior stared at Scully and Mulder like they had grown second heads. Tara smile warmly at them and was the one who finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "I thinks that's wonderful, you two deserve it! I can understand why you wouldn't want to wait, with your jobs and everything, you never know what you may have to face tomorrow, what dangers may take one of you away. There' s something to be said about two people, so obviously in love and loving, eloping. It's so intimate, and special. Nothing else matters to you except each other, and that's ultimately what getting married, the actual ceremony or union should be about." By this point Maggie and Bill Senior's faces had returned to their normal coloring, listening to Tara's rational reasoning, but Mulder resisted the urge to hide the carving knife from Bill Junior, based upon the look on his face. It seemed like somethings were fated to happen, like Bill thinking he was one sorry son of a bitch. "Well," Maggie began, after downing the rest of the wine in her glass. "I can't say I'm not disappointed that the family didn't get to share in this event with the two of you, and I can say I'm especially disappointed that the wedding didn't take place in the church. However, I can see that this makes you two happy, and maybe ultimately it was for the best to get married in such a way. I'm not saying it's not going to take some time getting use to, but if you're happy, then we're happy for you." Tears sprung to Mulder's eyes, and when he glanced at Scully, he could see the tears were already flowing down her face. Voice cracking, Scully finally answered for the two of them. "Thank you. That's all we want, a chance to be happy, a shot at happiness." Mulder realized that she had absolutely no idea how true her words rang. ***** Saturday, January 7, 1994 1:47 am Mulder/Scully Residence The fire was blazing soundly, enveloping the room in it's lethargic warmth. Sighing with contentment, Mulder pulled a sleeping Scully closer to him. Spooned up together, they had fallen asleep on the couch, watching the fire and not speaking, saying volumes. Captain and Maggie Scully had left from their visit a few hours ago, and he and Scully had curled up together after they had left. Mulder knew that Scully was pleased with her parent's visit; her father, after joking about having the Christmas tree up still, had granted her and Mulder his blessings. Even if he hadn't known Scully as well as he did, her need for her father's approval was obvious as the relief flooded into her face with a rare showing of pure joyous emotion at his words. Mulder smiled to himself as he remembered the past few weeks. This holiday season had been one of the best that Mulder had experienced in either life. For Christmas, he and Scully had finally purchased wedding bands for each other. Though he wanted to buy her an obnoxiously big rock that announced to the world that she was his, she insisted on a simple band. Scully's argument was that every time she would have to do an autopsy, she would have to take off her rings. She feared not only loosing them, but loosing that connection from him, even just temporary as she sliced and diced someone. The latex gloves would fit over a band without ripping, so a band it was. Mulder grudgingly admitted that she was right, but the band they chose together was beautiful- both their bands were a matching platinum, however, Scully's adorned one solitary princess cut diamond embedded within the band. The actual holiday was spent up at the Vineyard, where his parents lived were still happily married, and where Mulder got to be *reunited* with Samantha, her husband Andrew, and their two kids, A.J., age four, and Sabrina, age two. A faint smile crossed Mulder's face at how taken A.J. was with "Aunt Dana" and how cool she was because she made a snowman with him and taught him how to make snow angels. His family wasn't very surprised at the news, and weren't upset at the delayed announcement of he and Scully getting married. In fact, they were thrilled to have a new addition to the family and seemed to expect something like this from Mulder. To Mulder, he felt as though he were truly living in a dream from which he never wanted to wake. To add to the perfect ideological scene, his mother teased Mulder and Scully several times a day during their four day stay when they were going to give her more grandchildren to spoil. The trip had stirred an intense longing in Mulder that he never knew was possible. Sure, he had Scully as a lifetime partner in every true sense, traditional and nontraditional, of the word, but he wanted more. Seeing Scully with his niece and nephew, observing Sam and her little family, and hearing his mother's teasing made him long to expand their own family. He wanted little uber-Scully-Mulders running around the house. When the realization hit him that it was possible for Scully to have children still, he had been elated. So one week ago, on New Year's Day, just after midnight had rung in 1994 and Mulder and Scully celebrated at home, Mulder had brought up the subject of kids with Scully. A shared New Year's Resolution was then sealed with a passionate kiss and gentle lovemaking as Mulder and Scully decided that they were going to try and have a baby. Mulder knew it would take some months as her body readjusted to being off birth control, but there was no time like the present to practice. After all, practice made perfect, right? Mulder felt his eyes start to drift again, the feeling about him to only be described as 'warm and fuzzy', while at the same time that he felt Scully stir slightly. Feeling her fingers entwine with his, he swore he heard her mumble, "Mom, Dad? I thought you guys left." She sat up quickly, eyes fixated on the love seat across the room, and Mulder struggled to sit up as well. "Scully?" She jumped slightly, as if she wasn't aware that he was still in the room. Looking over to him briefly, she fixed her gaze back in the direction she had been originally looking. Mulder saw a look of confusion flutter across her face, and her jaw dropped slightly, as if in surprise. The phone suddenly rang rudely, and this time he jumped as an ominous chill fell across him. Phone calls this time of the night were never good news. Rubbing his eyes, he reached for the phone as Scully gave him a look of concern. "Hello?" His voice was low and scratchy. "Yes, this is Officer Joe Meyers with the Baltimore Police Department. Is this the residence of Dana Scully?" "Yeah, this is her husband, Fox Mulder. What is this about?" "There's been a car accident involving both a Bill Scully and a Margaret Scully. Ms. Scully is listed as one of the next of kin. I suggest you get to Johns Hopkins University Hospital as soon as possible." Mulder felt himself grow pale with fear and his heart dropped to his stomach. Refusing to meet Scully's eyes, he asked, "Is everything okay?" The office cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I'm sorry sir." Closing his eyes, Mulder hung up the phone muttering a thank you under his breath. "Mulder?" He looked up to her, and he could tell she knew immediately just by the look upon his face. Face crumpling, he saw her whole demeanor deflate as she pleaded with her eyes to him to be joking, to not let it be true. "No," she pleaded mournfully, biting her lip and shaking her head. "Oh god Scully, I'm so sorry," he whispered, drawing her into his arms as her sobs began to rack her body. Together they shared the pain as he rocked her, softly stroking her hair and whispering non-sense words of condolences. ***** Two Days Later Monday, January 10, 1994 Chesapeake Bay 12:06 pm They stood overlooking the bay, and a depressing drizzle fell down upon them relentlessly. Mulder stood close to Scully, as close as he could without touching her. To her right was the elusive Charlie and his wife, surprisingly with two kids. To the right of Charlie was Tara and Bill Junior, looking too mournful to even shoot a glare at Mulder. Melissa Scully was still missing in action. Lulled into deep thoughts by the song "Beyond the Sea" playing, Mulder pondered the significance of both Scully's parents dying at the same time in this life. Last time, only her father had died, and that was because of a massive coronary. Bill Senior had still suffered from the coronary this time around, but it had been while he had been driving him and Maggie home, and at the same time hitting a patch of ice, causing the car to careen off the road and roll over a few times. Captain Scully had not made it to the hospital, but Maggie had hung on, unconscious, until Mulder and Scully arrived at Johns Hopkins. She tapered off quietly after Scully had kissed her goodbye. What caused this to be different? The monstrosity of the implications made Mulder's head hurt. He couldn't even begin to fathom the theoretic why. Samantha's never abducted, his family is happy, his parent's stay married, he becomes the star of the Bureau rather than the joke, he still meets and falls in love with Scully, he gets to marry Scully this time, her father still dies, but this time her mother dies untimely as well. So would the rest of their lives be slightly altered as well, or would only the most important events in their lives be present? Obviously this wasn't going to be a slight variation of the other life, because the X-Files were not present, did not run their lives in this one. Once again, Mulder wondered about the constants and variables, wondered what other surprises were going to be in store for them. He knew for sure thought that he would easily change things back if it took even an ounce of Scully's pain away. However, he began to think that if something like her father dying was inevidible, that maybe his guilt for the pain in her life was unwarranted. Only the fate of time would tell. Feeling an icy hand grab his, Mulder squeezed Scully's hand tightly. "You know as a Captain he was entitled full burial in Arlington, but this is what he wanted, what they wanted. Just the family. He loved the sea and wanted his final resting place to be with it, and she wanted her final resting place to be with him." Nodding, he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She was so stoic, and it frightened him. The need to mourn must have been overwhelming for her, but she refused to give into it. Wishing she would, he leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "Scully, I know how much you loved them both, and I know how important your father's approval was to you. But you don't have to be the strong one right now, the little girl made of iron he was proud of. You need to let it go, grieve for them Scully. It's okay to let someone else be strong for you. Let me be that person." Seeing her bite her lip, he turned her to face him, hands upon her shoulders. "Scully, look at me." She shook her head violently and continued to stare at the ground. Placing a gentle finger under her chin, he lifted it till her eyes met his. He could see the fear of the implications of his words looming in her eyes. To give in, to allow him to be strong for her, would mean a loss of control for her, and Mulder knew that was one of her biggest fears, to not be in control emotionally, because that would mean admitting she couldn't handle everything on her own. "Scully..." he whispered, the back of his hand tracing her cheek. Suddenly, she was sobbing uncontrollably, shoulders shaking violently, breaths hitching. Feeling his own tears flowing, he engulfed her in his arms. Her arms wrapped around his waist, and she clung to him like a lifesaver as she drowned in her grief and despair. ***** October 14, 1994 J. Edgar Hoover Building Office of Dr. Dana Scully 8:14 pm Mulder stood outside of his wife's office door, knocking lightly before entering. Her secretary, like his, had long gone home, which is exactly what Mulder wanted to do. He and Scully had driven to work together that morning, so he was determined to get her out of there, home, and in bed. Grinning, he recalled how much fun they had that morning trying to get pregnant. When he saw her however, he knew that the chance of getting her out of there any time soon was nil. The room was illuminated by only her desk lamp, and she was in full concentration mode; glasses on, jacket off, hair pulled back, and, as he learned as he peeked under the desk, shoes discarded. "Hey," she said distractedly, flipping the page in the file, without looking up at him. "How did you know it was me, and not someone else, like the Director, an alien, your secret lover..." He sat down in the chair across from her desk and folded his hands behind his head, awaiting her response. "Well, I ruled out the Director immediately because I know he left already for the day, as he said at the end of our senior staff meeting earlier today, which, if I remember correctly, you were in attendance, and obviously not paying attention. I ruled out the alien because aliens don't exist, and my secret lover isn't coming until tomorrow night, so that left you." Mulder grinned, loving that they were so secure in their relationship that they had their 'secret lover' inside joke, stemming from an secret admirer card Scully had received just this past Valentine's Day. Later they found out it was from some young, new agent with a serious crush. The card had read something like: 'I know that you're married, but I can be your secret lover'. The kid now ran in the opposite direction whenever Mulder was within twenty feet of him. Mulder hadn't threatened the kid, but he suppose the kid thought that Mulder would flatten him or something. The poor agent hadn't realized at the time Scully's husband was his boss. She looked up at his silence and gave him the eyebrow. "Seriously, Mulder? You walk and open the door very distinctively. I can always tell when it's you." Feeling a warmth spread through his chest, Mulder resisted the urge to grab her and kiss her senseless. He had never felt so loved, so wanted, so adored in his life. Guessing that the other Scully did the same thing and felt the same way, it was so different and felt different when they could verbalize their feelings in this life. More fulfilled, he mused. Less missed opportunity, no more loneliness. "How much longer you gonna be?" he asked propping his feet on her desk, but immediately removing him at her glare. "Late. I'm backlogged here with this paperwork, and then I'm going down to the morgue- there's a backlog there too, and I'm going to help out with some autopsies. For some reason, all the murderers in the city are deciding to make their crimes within the Bureau's jurisdiction, and the morgue can't get the bodies studied quick enough. Mulder nodded, completely understanding. The VCU was dealing with a particularly heinous guy at the moment, some sick individual who liked to kidnap woman, keep them barely alive a few months. Evidence so far showed that the women were tied up naked, while he got off just by looking at them in their helplessness. The woman, though they would show no signs of sexual abuse, showed signs of sever hunger, dehydration, and exposure. After ten weeks, the guys would then slice open their wrists and let them bleed to death, before finding a new victim. It was close to the ten week marker, and Mulder's unit was working overtime to anticipate the guy's next move. The VCU had no leads and hardly any forensic evidence. "Well, I'm going home and going to try and get inside this guy's head a little bit. I'm having trouble concentrating here, with everyone buzzing about him. I'm going to work where I can clear my head without distractions." It was Scully's turn to nod, and she got up and walked around the desk to stand before Mulder. She looked at him with concern; everyone knew about the case with all the media attention it had been gathering, but he had been keeping her apprised of the grisly details, wanting her opinions and help. The case was was very difficult for everyone involved, and Mulder was especially anxious about it. Standing up, he placed his hands lightly on her hips, and she reached up to cup his face in her hands. "Just watch yourself Mulder. I know how far you can let yourself go with these criminals and tying to get into their minds. Don't forget to come back to me." Her thumbs traced his lips before clasping behind his neck. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he drew he close to embrace her. "I promise Scully," he whispered as he nuzzled her neck. "Good." Pulling away slightly, she smiled at him. "I'm gonna take a cab home, that way you can have the car, okay?" Smiling back, he pushed an errant strand of hair away from her eyes. "Very noble of you Mulder, to brave the taxi." "Well you know, I try play the hero to my woman every now and then." She poked him in the ribs, laughing, and he grabbed the offending hand to place a kiss on the palm, before moving to her lips. The kiss was short, but fulfilled. When they kissed, it was never to go through the motions, but to share emotions and feelings that words between them could never describe or articulate. Pulling away, they shared a quiet smile before letting go, as Mulder headed for the door and Scully went back around to sit at her desk. "Wake me when you get home, 'kay Scully?" "Okay Mulder. Try not to scare the cab driver too much with your spooky talk." "Drive home safe, Scully. I love you." He saw her eyes shine brightly in the dimmed room. "I love you Mulder." ***** October 14, 1994 Mulder/Scully Residence 11:24 pm Mulder had just gotten up from the couch to take a break, giving the the table in front of him scattered with photographs, profiles, and all sorts of other paperwork a last glance, and headed for the kitchen for a glass of water. Finishing the last gulp in the dark, too tired to turn on the lights, he heard his cell phone ring from the other room. Gathering hidden energy, Mulder bounded back into the living room, anxious to talk to Scully. "Scully, puh-lease tell me you're on your way back home- I'm getting cranky." "Ahh, ahem, Section Chief Mulder?" Mulder blinked once, surprised it wasn't Scully before he remember to answer. "Speaking, who's this?" "It's, ah, ahem, it's Agent Hall sir." Ah, Scully's admirer. No wonder the kid sounded nervous on the phone. Mulder shoved aside thoughts of tormenting the kid as he got down to business instead. The kid was working on this serial killer case, the 'Monster of Ten Weeks', as the media called the perpetrator, and must be calling because the next victim had been taken. The MOTW, as the Bureau had dubbed him, always left a note at the scene where he took the next woman, and Mulder assumed that the note had been found. "What is it Agent?" "Sir, we're, ah, standing at the next crime scene, where we, ah, found the next note. It was stuck to a windshield wiper of a car stopped at an intersection just a block from the Hoover building. The car shows signs of forced entry, and ah, sir? The car is yours and Dr. Scully's." ***** Intersection of 12th and E Streets, NW Washington, DC 11:45 pm "Not again, not again, not again, not again," was Mulder's mantra, in tune with his hurried footsteps echoing loudly on the pavement. "I should've known better," he muttered to himself as he crossed the yellow police lines. After all, the dates for both lives had been corresponding so far. He shouldn't have let her out of his sight tonight, this night of all nights. Mulder shuddered as he remembered that even the times were the same, both burned permanently upon his memories. "What have we got here?" Mulder questioned as he pushed his way through the crowd of agents, ignoring all the looks of sympathy that were shooting his way. No one answered as Mulder looked around the crime scene, taking in all the evidence for himself. The driver's side window was smashed in, and the shards of glass inside were reflecting off of the nearby street light. The driver's door was wide open, and on the driver's side back seat door there were scratches and a slight dent. Peering further inside, Mulder saw Scully' s cell phone and gun in the passenger's side, as well as her briefcase. "The car was still running Sir and we shut the engine off, but other than that scene has not been disturbed." Mulder barely acknowledged the agent with a slight nod. Placing both hands on the hood of the car, he closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, imagining what took place. After leaving the Hoover parking garage, Scully would've turned west onto E Street, grabbing her cell phone to call him. At the corner, stopped at the red light she would be just about ready to dial home, but the fist would've come through the window first, making Scully drop the phone and reach for her gun, while the flying glass left small cuts along her flawless porcelain skin. The perpetrator would've had the door open before Scully had a chance to scream, and he would've tried to drag her into the darkness quickly. However Scully, though rendered silent, would've put up a fight. The MOTW would have smashed her into the backseat door during the fight, leaving a dent at the harsh impact as she would be knocked unconscious. Mulder felt the bile raise to the back of his throat. "Fuck!" screamed Mulder, punching the hood of the car. Looking frantic, he turned around quickly scanned the group of Agents hovering carefully around him. "I want to talk to the witnesses." The Agents all glanced at each other nervously, shifting their weights and diverting their eyes. "Sir? So far we haven't found any witnesses." The agent who was brave enough to break the news looked ready to bolt. "What?!" roared Mulder, standing straight up and throwing his hands up in the air. "How the hell does one of the Bureau's own, one of your bosses, get kidnapped right outside of Headquarters, at a busy intersection, and there are no witnesses? God damnit, find me some fucking witnesses!" Mulder spun around in a circle, pointing randomly. "Where the hell is forensics? I want this entire car and note dusted for prints, every fiber examined. This intersection is remaining closed as a crime scene until I say so. I want every available agent scoping out every building, every business within a ten mile radius and every living creature with eyes or ears is to be checked out and questioned if they saw any one or anything suspicious. We are going to catch this sadistic son of a bitch once and for all." Spent, Mulder walked away from the scene, leaning against the nearest car. Burying his face in his hands, he bit is lip until he felt blood, trying to hold back his pain and grief. Running his hands roughly through his hair, Mulder tilted his chin towards the moon, which was casting eerie shadows over the DC streets, adding to the atmosphere of fear. "Oh god Scully," he whispered into the stillness of the opaque night. ***** November 18, 1994 Office of Section Chief Mulder 3:22 am Mulder's office looked as though a tornado had hit it. Papers, old coffee cups, and take out bags were strewn about haphazardly. For the past five weeks Mulder had lived there, only going back home long enough to shower, grab a change of clothes, and feed the fish. When he needed to sleep, he slept on the couch here at work- he hated being at home because he felt that he was wasting valuable time. That was time that could be used to search for Scully. He also felt her presence strongly at home, and that was just too painful for him to endure. In fact, he would only go home to shower when his secretary reminded him, albeit very tactfully, and he would've forgotten to eat had she not supplied the take out. In the back of Mulder's convoluted mind, he reminded himself to give her both a raise and a really nice Christmas gift. The perpetrator was very good, and Mulder had certainly met his match. The guy left no forensic evidence, no witnesses. Mulder had drawn up a working profile of the guy- he was certain it was a guy, and a very big guy at that. Even with the element of surprise on the perp's side, the guy had to be huge for Scully not to be able to fight herself free; he had to be at least Mulder's height, possibly taller. The guy had been a "B" student in school; not the smartest, but bright enough to pull these kidnappings off so cleanly and quickly. He was probably also native to DC, having been able to know the areas well enough to get in and get out without witnesses, and would have some college, but not a degree. Why did he commit the crimes in the fashion that he did? The perp's intent had taken Mulder longer to grasp, but he was confident that his profile was correct. Mulder surmised that the guy had an Oedipus complex, that he had adored and had a crush on his mother, had placed her upon a pedestal. He had eventually, probably about a year before the killings began, made an actual move upon his mother. Based upon the way the perp killed these woman, the mother felt guilty, ashamed, and dirty by the way her son had acted, and had committed suicide by slashing her wrists and bled herself to death. The guy was on the lookout for another woman who could essential replace his mother, be that perfect symbol on the pedestal. That was also why the guy never sexual abused the woman, but masturbated while watching them. He knew his feelings for his mother were wrong, therefore he's been afraid to touch these woman sexually, but he craved the satisfaction of release from them. He wanted to touch them, but couldn't get over the guilt and the shameful feelings of wanting his mother that way. Eventually, each woman wouldn't excite him anymore, wouldn't live up to his standards, so he'd kill them in the same manner his mother had killed herself, then continued on his search for the 'perfect' woman. Mulder paced around his office, like a lion trapped in a cage, kicking random things out of his way. Even with the solid profile, they were no where closer to catching this guy. Every break, every clue had turned out to be a dead end. They were now five weeks into Scully's kidnapping, and Mulder knew they only had four to find her before the guy would kill her, then take another week to find the next victim. Sinking down on his couch, Mulder placed his elbows on his knees and cradled his face in his hands. He almost wish she'd been abducted by aliens or the government, whomever took her in the last life. For some reason, dealing with that kidnapping was a lot easier than dealing with this one. It was almost better not knowing who they were dealing with, rather than knowing the kidnapper's motives and mind. Mulder was so deep in thought that he almost didn't hear the phone ring. Drawing his face up from his hands slowly, he blinked a few times in confusion, before leaping across the room to pick up the phone. "Mulder." "Section Chief Mulder? DCPD picked up a man for drunk driving tonight. You may want to get down here for questioning. He was pulled over right outside your house, and, he had some of Dr. Scully's, ahh, ahem, personal items of clothing with him. This may be our perp." Closing his eyes, Mulder inhaled a quick breath. This would be too good to be true. "Do not let anyone talk to him about Scully, okay? Make him wait, sober him up a little, and I am on my way. I want to question him myself- I don't want anyone else fucking it up and asking the wrong questions. Make sure there is a lawyer present. If this guy is our bastard, I don't want him to get off on a technicality. Do not let him know that I am her husband either- he would enjoy that too much." Mulder hung up his phone, and for the first time in five weeks, he felt somewhat alive. Even if this guy wasn't the perp, he had access to the perp somehow. They finally had a viable break. "Hang on Scully," he whispered. "Please just hang on." PART 4 - The Fate of Time ***** Washington DC Police Department District One, Southeast Side 3:35 am Mulder had made it across town in record time. He barely remembered to turn off his car and shut the door as he stormed through the doors of the precinct. Flashing his badge, he asked, "Where is he? What's his name?" The officer at the front desk got up and walked to the other side. "Section Chief Mulder, we've been expecting you, but not this quickly. We'll have the perp transferred to the questioning room. He's been passed out in the drunk tank for awhile. We have a court appointed lawyer already waiting, just as you requested." Handing Mulder a file, the officer placed a hand on Mulder's shoulder. "Sir, this is highly unorthodox, especially the nature of the relationship with the kidnap victim. Because of that, we are placing one of our officers in the room with you." Mulder barely nodded as he skimmed the file. The perp's name was Greg Adams, age 32. At six feet, five inches tall and 285 pounds, Scully hadn't stood a chance against this guy. Several priors for drunk driving, as well as kidnapping, which was eventually dismissed for circumstantial evidence. Biting his lip hard, Mulder tried his best to hold back his anger at the fact that this guy had been let back out on the streets several years ago, when he should have been locked behind bars. If the courts had done their jobs correctly the first time around, Scully could have been saved all this pain and suffering. Another officer came through the swing doors and motioned for Mulder to follow him. His anticipation increased as his footsteps echoed through the dim, dreary hallway to the questioning room. Pausing outside, Mulder glanced through the window at Greg Adams. The bastard was sitting there slouched, with a smirk upon his face. His eyes were a steely gray, and his black hair was long and unkempt, mussed and sticking out everywhere. He was sweating slightly, and Mulder guessed it was from the oncoming hang-over. Calming his temper and his resolve, Mulder entered the room, gave a nod to both the lawyer and the officer, and sat down across from Adams. The tension in the room was palpable, and Mulder stared at Adams, partly refusing to talk until he knew that Adams was feeling sufficiently uncomfortable, and partly because he was afraid to speak yet. The two men stared each other down, refusing to give in. Mulder leaned back in his chair, folding his hands on the table before him, attempting to give an aura of calm, though his insides were jumping all around. He refused to loose this staring contest; it could mean Scully's life otherwise. ***** Washington, DC Police Department District One 5:27 am With the exception of blinking, Mulder had not moved an inch in the past two hours, and Adams had yet to move as well. The two men continued to stared at each other, and the only sound emanating from the room was the hollow ticking of the clock on the wall. From one of the side of the table came the sound of a pen falling to the floor. The lawyer had dropped his pen on the floor as he nodded asleep and reawoke at the sudden sound. Finally Adams was broken out of the stare to look at what fell, while Mulder remained staring at him, and Mulder then knew that he had won that round. Clearing his throat, Mulder leaned forward against the table. "So, Mr. Adams, why don't you tell us about your night tonight?" Glaring at Mulder, Adams crossed his arms. "I don't understand why I'm still here. Just press the charges for the drunk driving and let's get the show on the road." "Ah, but I think you've done a lot more than just drunk driving. Tell me, when you go out drinking, do you always carry a pair of women's underwear with you?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "You don't? You have no idea how you got that underwear? That's funny, because I always remember how I acquired undergarments from the opposite sex, no matter how drunk I was, especially if that garment had obviously been worn recently and even more if it belongs to a woman that has been missing for several weeks now." "I know my rights, I don't have to say a word. Besides, that pair of panties could have belonged to a dozen woman. How do you know it belonged to the bitch that's been missing?" Mulder pushed back from the chair suddenly and walked around to face Adams. Leaning over, nose to nose, Mulder's voice was barely a whisper. "They could've been from any woman, but I know for a fact that they're from the woman the FBI has been looking for. And, I know for a fact you know where she is. If you know what's good for you, you'll tell us where to find her." "Even if I did know who you were talking about or what you were talking about, what would be in it for me?" Letting out a frustrated breath, Mulder pounded the table with his fist, then grabbing Adams by the collar, pulled the bigger man to his feet and stood in his face. "God damnit you son of a bitch, you're gonna tell me where the fuck she is, I swear to god, I will kill you with my bare hands. If she's not, if you've, if you..." Mulder trailed off from his rampage, throwing Adams back down in the chair. During Mulder's outburst, the police officer and lawyer had moved to stop Mulder, but paused mid-stride when Mulder let go of Adams. Mulder ran his hands roughly over his face, trying hard to keep the tears at bay. As strong has he tried to be, Mulder knew he was about to loose it emotionally. Was Scully the one that Adams finally escalated further with? What if they couldn't find her? What if they did have the wrong person? What if it were already too late? Suddenly the door opened, and an Agent stepped through the doors, looking pensive. "Sir," he started, looking directly at Mulder. "We found Dr. Scully. She's en route to George Washington University Hospital as we speak." Swallowing hard with some kind of emotion that was a cross between relief and dread, Mulder leaned in close to Adams again, who had paled at both Mulder's outburst and the news of Scully being found. "I will make you pay, mark my word." ***** November 20, 1994 George Washington University Hospital Intensive Care Unit 7:14 pm Mulder sat at Scully's bedside, holding her hand tightly. He had only left her side in the past two days to use the restroom and grab the occasional cup of coffee, and sometimes if he remembered, food. Scully had been unconscious since she had been brought in, but thankfully not in a coma. She was pale, so pale that her skin looked almost translucent, and was painfully thin. When he had taken the opportunity to look her over himself, after the doctors had finally left him alone with her, he could see her rib and hip bones sticking out, almost painfully he thought, against her skin. The test for trace evidence had come up negative, but Scully did have several large, greenish-purple colored bruises in several places, including one incredibly nasty one across her face making Mulder believe she fought Adams every chance she got. She was severely dehydrated and suffered from malnutrition. The FBI was, however, able to get DNA samples out from under her fingernails. Even though DNA analysis was still in its infant stages in 1994, the FBI also had access to the most advance DNA technology of the times, so Mulder was hoping this would be their smoking gun against Adams. The most important thing though was that she was alive. Now, she just had to wake up. Placing his other arm on the edge of her bed, Mulder laid his forehead upon his forearm, closing his eyes in exhaustion. He was afraid to fall asleep, afraid he wouldn't be there for her when she woke up. Deep down, he had never forgiven himself the first time around for not being there with her when she had awaken from her coma. This time, he wanted to be the first person that she saw. The tears wouldn't come anymore. He was too tired to cry, too emotionally drained to try. Mulder then felt a very slight twitch of Scully's fingers. Raising his eyes, he was afraid to be even slightly hopeful that she was awakening. His eyes scoured her face, her hands, looking for any sign that she was coming back, coming back to him. Moments passed, lost from them forever. When no other part of her moved, not another twitch, not a flutter of an eyelid, Mulder placed a kiss on the back of her hand that he was still holding and laid his forehead back down, praying that his vigil would not only pay off, but pay off soon. ***** November 22, 1994 George Washington University Hospital Intensive Care Unit 9:22 pm Mulder had finally given in, gave up his resolve. The doctors couldn't figure out why Scully hadn't awaken yet, and had suggested to Mulder that he talk to her like normal, like he was having a conversation with her. He couldn't keep the truth in anymore, and told her the whole story; the other life, the X-Files, her other abduction, her cancer, Emily, her inability to have children, his brain surgery, Cigarette Smoking Man, Skinner, the Lone Gunmen, and amazingly enough, all the good times. Though it seemed to Mulder that all the major events in that life were surrounded by sadness, his most fond memories were the little things, the everyday things he took for granted. Her smile, the eyebrow, the slide shows, her bee pollen. Queequeg. Arcadia. Debating cases in the dusty basement on a Saturday afternoon with tempting sunshine filtering though. Non-fat tofrutti rice dreamsicles. Most importantly he told her of their friendship, and how she challenged him like no other person had. He told her how in both lives, she completed him, was as much a part of his soul as he was. He admitted he wasn't sure who Fox Mulder was without Dana Scully, and how he didn't ever want to know himself without her. Mulder had just worn himself out talking. He leaned back with his eyes closed in the hard, uncomfortable orange colored chair to run his hands through his hair when he heard a barely audible, very confused, "Mulder?" Sitting ramrod straight in the chair, Mulder leaned in quickly, eyes wide, and grabbed Scully's hand gently, running his thumb over her knuckles. "Hi," he whispered, taking his other hand and smoothing the hair from her forehead. "Why am I in the hospital Mulder?" she asked hoarsely, blinking a few times in confusion. Grabbing a glass of water, Mulder placed his hand behind her head, gently lifting it so she could take a sip. He replaced the glass of water to the table next to them even slowly lower Scully back to her pillow, tracing his fingertips lightly over her unbruised cheek. "Thank you," she said, a little more clearly. Turning to look at him, she gave him a look that asked him, 'Well, why am I here?'. "You don't remember anything Scully?" Closing her eyes, she licked her lips before answering. "Last thing I remember was leaving the morgue at Headquarters, hoping you left me some food. Hoping you were still awake, hoping you weren't too far gone into your profiling. The guy, the UNSUB, Mulder, was he caught?" Mulder stared at a point on the far side of the room before answering her. Keeping his eyes away from hers, he answered, "Yes, he was caught almost a week ago. Scully, what is the last date that you remember?" "The last date I remember is October 14...and he wasn't close to being caught then. Oh my god Mulder, he was caught a week ago? How long have I been out , and from what? Ten days? Two weeks?" Mulder swallowed roughly. "Um, officially Scully, you've been unconscious for six days, from the day that we caught him." He still refused to look at her, and he could feel her hard gaze upon him. "What aren't you telling me Mulder?" "Today's date is November 22 Scully. You were found on November 18, after the UNSUB had kidnapped you. You were missing for almost six weeks." He finally met her eyes as she gasped, eyes wide in disbelief. The atmosphere increasing grew uncomfortable as Scully fell silent, staring off at the same spot Mulder had focused upon a few moments ago. "Scully?" "I'm tired Mulder. I think I'm going to sleep." "Alright Scully," he whispered, but she was already gone. ***** September 26, 1995 Mulder/Scully Residence 1:19 am The past year had been rough for Mulder and Scully. After returning home from the hospital, Scully had withdrawn, closing into herself. It had taken a month of healing before the Bureau deemed that she was both physically well and mentally competent to go back to work. Even so, the nightmares continued to plague her, on a daily basis in the beginning. Though she told Mulder she couldn't remember anything from her abduction, her nightmares seemed to have her relive the experience over and over again. After she woke up, she would remain frightened, even afraid of Mulder until she was completely coherent again and realized where she was and who she was with. Mulder knew that she was only afraid of him because she was still in her dream, but it still ripped his heart apart. Scully was also very uncomfortable with her body and sexuality afterwards, even around Mulder. Her clothes became very non discreet and baggy. It took two months for her to even feel comfortable enough to sleep with him in the same bed, and another month before she would even let him look at her without any clothes on. It wouldn't be until late March until they started making love again, and even then it was sporadic and strained. Mulder always made sure he was using protection again, because he knew Scully was in no shape to become pregnant. The holidays were also hard. Scully hadn't been released from the hospital until December 5 because the doctors were afraid with the combination of her injuries and the severity of her dehydration and malnutrition that releasing her any earlier would have put her health in jeopardy. She still had to see a nutritionist until early January to make sure she was eating correctly again. After her hospital release, Scully had been ordered to see a therapist once a week, and shortly after her birthday her visits were shortened to just once a month. All the while, Scully kept insisting she was fine. However, as time went by Scully began to heal more and more. The nightmares were more infrequent, and she wasn't nervous around Mulder anymore. She started wearing clothes that were more flattering to her figure, and Mulder didn't have to watch her like a hawk over what she ate. They had discussed having a baby again, and were not using protection anymore. Finally self assured in the bedroom again, they were making love almost on a nightly basis, with her in charge about half the time, as it was before she had been taken. Plus, she wasn't insisting putting on her pajamas immediately anymore, and was content to sleep in the nude with him again. Mulder lay in bed on his back in such that nude state, arms wrapped around an also very nude Scully, finding it hard to fall asleep. She was sound asleep, her head resting on his chest, mussed hair tickling his nose. In his musings, he had some difficulty finding sleep even after a particularly energetic round, like he normally would. Scully had her monthly session today, or yesterday, he mused after a quick glance at the alarm clock. Afterwards, all three had sat down together, the therapist, Dr. Michelle Mainer, himself, and Scully. Dr. Mainer had said that that Scully was making excellent progress and only wanted to see her two more times, enough visits to last through the one year anniversary of her abduction and return. Mulder couldn't stop grinning all day at the news. His Scully had finally returned to him. Scully stirred in his arms and suddenly shot up, eyes wide open, clutching the cool cotton sheets to her chest. Leaning over to the bed stand, Mulder flipped on the lamp and sat up with her, noting the alarm and panic in her eyes. "Scully, what is it? Is it another nightmare sweetheart?" He reached out to stroke her hair, but the look she gave him warned him not to even try. "Mulder, what the hell are we doing?" With a general look of confusion, Mulder shook his head slightly. "What are you talking about Scully?" "You. Me. In bed. Together." She used her hand to gesture as she spoke punctuating her sentence. "Scully, we've been back to sleeping together for eight months now. You were making such good progress, but if you want me to sleep on the couch, I will. I'll understand" Narrowing her eyes at him, as if trying to get him to focus more, Mulder watched her look around the room, running her left hand through her hair and trying to mask her confusion. Jaw dropping, he saw the color drain in her face and jaw drop slightly. "Oh my god Mulder." She jumped up from the bed quickly, as if it were on fire, pulling the white cotton sheet with her in a vain attempt to cover herself. The sheet however, left nothing to the imagination as Mulder's obvious growing arousal proved. Feeling awkward at being stark naked while Scully was trying to hide, Mulder reached for the pillow and covered himself with it. Backing away, she kept moving until she bumped into the closet door, knob into her back. She formed a silent "Oh," in surprise, eyes still wide. "Mulder," she squeaked, and he resisted the urge to laugh at her voice. Now would not be a good time to make fun of her. "Mulder," she tried again, voice somewhat normal. "You and I, we shouldn't be in bed, naked together. We're not lovers. We shouldn't be lovers, at least. We're just partners. At work. On the X-Files. Best friends too, but nothing more than that." Opening his mouth to answer, Mulder quickly shut it when he saw her eyes narrow in realization as she licked her lips. His heart sank as he realized *his* Scully was gone. This was the X-Files Scully. "But there are no X-Files, are there Mulder? Samantha never disappeared. And it wasn't Duane Barry that took me this time, it was Adams, wasn't it, among a bunch of other things I could mention? And you remember it all, don't you?" She shook her head a little. "Damnit Mulder, you remember it all, don't you, and you thought you didn't have to tell me! Was this some little game of yours? Were you trying to take advantage of the situation?" She yelled at him, articulating each word with extreme force, eyes wild. Mulder still sat on the bed, afraid to move, afraid to make the wrong move. "What the hell's going on Mulder?" Her look was imploring, eyes wide and honest. Leaning over, he slipped on his boxers quickly and walked over to her, arms crossed. "No," she whispered, shaking a little and holding out her hand at him. "I need, I need time Mulder." Ripping open the closet, she quickly dressed and started out the bedroom door and ran down the stairs. Mulder felt his heart jump to his throat and fright gripped him. She wasn't going to leave, was she? Scully didn't run away, that was what he was suppose to do. He started after her and followed her into the living room, but she paused in the threshold of the front door before he had a chance to grab her, pull her back, apologize, confess his love. "Please don't follow me Mulder. Please don't try to find me. I will be back, you know I always come back to you. But right now I just...need space." Watching silently as she walked out the door and let it click softly shut behind her, Mulder wandered, somewhat dazed into the living room and absentmindedly sat down on the couch. What will happen now, he thought? ***** September 27, 1995 Mulder/Scully Residence 6:18 pm Mulder slowly let the key in the lock, exhausted from emotion, exhausted from his run. After Scully had left last night, he sat in the darkened living room, not moving, barely breathing. When he realized the sun was rising, he found enough energy to pick up the phone and call into work for the both of them, before he listlessly sat down on the couch again. Not moving a muscle until about five in the evening, he then decided to go for a run. In all honesty, he didn't know what else to do. He also didn't know if Scully would ever come back. If ever she had a chance to get away from him, this would be it. After all, he told the biggest of lies and kept the most crucial of secrets from her. Mulder wouldn't blame her if she took this opportunity to run and get as far away from him as possible, to go salvage a life while she still could. Shutting the door behind him softly, he aimlessly threw the keys to the table by the door, missing entirely. Not even giving them a second look, he went upstairs, ambling into the kitchen and drank a quick glass of water before ending up in the living room. In the back of his mind, he thought that maybe he should eat something, since it had been a full day since he last ate, but he felt nauseated at the thought of food. As he scuffled across the soft cream colored carpet, aiming to return in his personal hypnosis on the couch, the light suddenly turned on. Jumping, Mulder blinked in confusion, focusing upon the person sitting on the couch. "What are you doing here?" he mumbled, opting for the armchair by the couch. "I live here don't I?" Scully asked dryly and rhetorically, leaning forward, elbows resting on her knees. "That you do, that you do. However, I was under the assumption that you wouldn't be returning anytime soon." Finally daring to get a good look at her, Mulder realized she looked as bad as he felt. Her normal bright eyes were dull and listless, skin almost ashy looking, hair a tangled mess. "You look like shit Mulder." "And so do you. Don't try to change the subject." She leaned back, covering her face with her hands. "I wasn't changing the subject, I was avoiding it." "So which Scully are you? I need to know so I know what is the 'proper' way to treat you." Mulder internally winced at the harshness of his words, knowing that it wasn't her fault they were in this predicament, and knowing she had every right to be upset. However, he didn't want to take his words back, so he let them hang in heavy silence. Her hands made an audible slap as they fell down to her legs. "This isn't *my* fault Mulder, and it's not yours either. But I know you respect the fact that I needed time on my own to think, to take this all in. So don't start placing blame." This time Mulder leaned his elbows on his knees, cradling his chin in his hands. "I know Scully. It's just, everything, was, well too damn good to be true, and I don't want to loose it all. I was honestly, entirely happy for once Scully, and I know it's because I had you by my side. I mean, I've always had you by my side, but I've never had all of you." Swallowing hard, Mulder took a deep breath, continuing barely in a whisper. "You would never let me completely in; your walls were always built so damn high, and I was always so afraid let you all the way in. I was scared that if I did, you would consume me, and if you did leave me, I know I couldn't live with that heartache. But this time, I let you in, and you let me in too. You had all of me and that feeling was the most incredible experience, the most wonderful feeling in the world. I know that I won't be able to stand going back, to change it, or to loose you completely. I feel like a drowning man right now Scully, with no hope of rescue." When he dared to glance at her, he saw that the tears were falling openly on her face, eyes already red and puffy. She was not bothering to try to hide them or wipe them away, but rather, she was just letting them fall, cleansing her emotions. "Mulder, when I left here last night, I started driving. My first instinct was to go back to my apartment in Georgetown. Then it hit me that I've never lived there. I then turned around and went to my mother's house- but that's when I remember she's gone as well. So I drove until I ended up in New York. Here I was, wandering around Times Square at five in the morning, just walking aimlessly, trying to make sense of all this." "When I woke up last night, all I could remember was our lives together on the X-Files, and I started aching for what I knew was lost from that. The companionship, the hard earned and well tested trust, the love built upon mutual respect and shared heartache. I ended up sitting down on the corner of 42nd and Broadway, just crying and missing us until the sun started rising. As the first rays of light began to shine, to bring life to the streets again, I finally allowed myself to remember the past three, almost four years together. It was as if the beginning of the new day was my new beginning." "That's when I realized that if I gave this up, what we have now, I would miss this us even more. Not being with you like this in every way possible would tear me apart. Because like you said, we have, now, given ourselves completely to each other, more fully, and I have never felt more like a whole person. All because I embrace you completely, and you me. I got up from that corner and began to walk uptown, toward Central Park, and I felt my heart physically ache because I cannot be who I am without you. And, I don't want to try. I've never felt quite like this, and I know I never will, unless I'm with you. I can take on anything, any mutant, anybody...my kidnapping, my parents' deaths, simply because I have you with me. I pray I always will." Sometime while she was speaking, Scully had moved from the couch to kneel besides Mulder, and tentatively, her hand brushed across his cheek, wiping away a tear from the many that had begun to fall from him. Mulder dropped down beside her, grabbing her hand on his cheek and leaning into it. "I can't bare to be apart from you Mulder. I can't bare to lose any part of us either." "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Scully, I should have told you." She sniffled. "Why should you have? Did you honestly think I'd believe you? Not *that* much is different." He laughed hoarsely, and looked up to meet her eyes. A small, trembling smile came to her face, and Mulder brought his other thumb up to trace her lips. "Do you know how much you mean to me? How much this moment means to me?" he whispered leaning in slightly. "Yes, because it's how much you mean to me, how important being here with you in this moment is to me" she whispered back, closing the gap as their lips met in a soft kiss. ***** October 13, 1995 Inside the Washington Monument 8:47 pm "You know Scully, being blindfolded by you has always been one of my longtime fantasies." It was, it honestly was, however in Mulder's dreams the blindfold had also included no clothes and a bed, not Scully parading him around without the slightest clue where he was going. "Mmm, if your a good boy and quit whining, maybe we'll use it again tonight." "Seriously Scully, I've been blindfolded since we left work and not only do I feel ridiculous, but I want to know where you're taking me." His whining was punctuated by a slight 'ding', and he felt his whole body weight shift up. "We're on an elevator, Scully," he smirked. "No kidding. You wouldn't happen to have been a crack investigator for the FBI in a former life, would you?" Mulder smiled through the darken cloth. Somehow, they were slowly reconciling the different lives, and their lives on the X-Files was starting to be known as 'the former life'. They were also finally at the point where they could make jokes about it. "What, and I'm not in this one?" he retorted. "You're an overpaid paper pusher in this one. But it wasn't the money that attracted me to you, or either of your *glamorous* jobs." "Was it my fast, insatiable wit? Or my charm? Maybe my classically handsome good looks?" He could almost hear her smirk as he felt her breath on his neck. "Actually, I heard you were good in the sack and wanted to test you out for myself," she whispered huskily, placing a few wet, open mouthed kisses along his neck. "Nice to know I'm good for something," he murmured, before he felt her lips descend upon his. The kiss was the most phenomenal he had ever experienced in his life. The combination of the upward momentum of the elevator, the excitement of being blindfolded, the unexpectedness of the kiss, and the focus on nothing but the feeling of Scully's mouth on his was both breathtaking and erotic. If he hadn't know where they were, he would've taken her right there in that elevator. Mulder felt her break apart as another soft 'ding' indicated that they were at their destination. Without a word, she grabbed his hand and led him to a seat. He felt her presence behind him, and suddenly the blindfold was lifted. Mulder's breath caught in his throat as he looked down upon Washington night skyline, full of life and light, yet picturesque from so far up. The night itself was a beautiful fall night with no wind or clouds, a hint of a chill, and a bright moon illuminating the city. He felt her arms wrap around his chest and her chin rest upon his shoulder. "You like?" she whispered. "Scully, this is...amazing. I'm speechless. But how did you- I mean, the Monument closes at 6:30. And they usually don't give private tours," he added, glancing around the enclosed observation floor, completely empty but the two of them. His eyes finally rested before him, where a table was laid out. How had he not smelled the aroma of the food earlier? There were two taper candles lit on the table, providing ambiance. Other than that, the only light was coming from outside, from the moon and the city below. "I pulled some strings to get this for you, for us. I actually had a meeting with the Attorney General a few weeks ago and asked her then, and she talked to her people in Washington Parks, and well, everything else just fell into place." She tilted her head in slightly so that their cheeks were brushing up against each others. "Just one more thing would make this absolutely perfect- please tell me you didn't cook this food Scully." He heard her chuckle in his ear. Scully was a notoriously bad cook, and he loved to tease her every opportunity about it. "Nope, had it catered in. Your life insurance policy isn't worth enough yet to poison you with my cooking." He felt the two of the sigh in unison happily, and the vibrations of her voice as her body was pressed against his sent a wonderful chill through him. "Look around, it's just you, me, and the stars. I've always wanted to give you the stars Mulder. I figured this would be the next closest thing. You know, I've had this planned for you for years, but I just never felt comfortable enough, or secure enough to ever try it." He felt Scully unwrap herself from him and then she was before him, cupping his face in his hands. "Happy Birthday Mulder," she whispered, before placing the gentlest of kisses upon his lips. Mulder watched her walk around to the other side of the table and sit down as he resisted the urge to cry like a baby, right then and there, all over the garlic bread. "Scully, I don't know what to say, this has to be, it is, the best, most beautiful birthday gift of my life, present or former. What makes it all that much more special is that I'm sharing it with the most important person to me, the person who shines brighter in my soul than any star." Pausing in uncorking the wine, Scully looked up and blinked at him, unshed tears making her eyes shine at him brightly. "Wow Mulder, I had no idea you could be so romantically poetic." A soft smile crossed her face. "I like it." As she poured their drinks, Mulder took in his surrounding with all his senses, still astonished. He was glad Scully finally had the opportunity to give him this gift, not only because it was the most phenomenal gift he had ever received, but because he liked how it did signal the change in their relationship. They began to fill their plates in comfortable silence with salad and some colorful, complicated pasta dish Mulder never could remember the name of but always enjoyed. They toasted to soul mates and in the middle of eating Scully asked, "So, I' ve got two more presents for you Mulder. Which would you like...the good one, or the *really* good one?" "Well gee, you make it so hard to decide when you put it like that...I'll take the good one Scully." Her smile looked pleased as she reached into her briefcase and found a folder. She pressed it before him and started to speak. "An unusual case came before my desk the other day as I was 'spring cleaning ' old, unsolved cases out of forensics. If you notice all the evidence, I would have to say it was the Tooms case. Of course, as you look at the file and note the date, Tooms is long into hibernation. It got me thinking though. There is still need for a X-Files division in the Bureau Mulder. However, I don't want to be on them again- I'm happy where I am Mulder, and I don't think you want to live through all that again. You don't have your quest driving you, though you still have your thirst for the paranormal. That's not to say your still not passionate and admirable, but, things are different." Mulder watched as she inhaled deeply, allowing her to speak before reacting. "I presented this case and the facts to the Director of the Bureau yesterday. And on Monday morning the three of us have a meeting about the possibility of opening a legitimate X-Files division under your direct supervision." She finally looked him in the eye, biting her lip, eyes a little nervous. Mulder felt a smile creep across his face as what Scully just told him sunk in. She had been completely right when she said that he didn't have the quest to drive him in the X-Files anymore, but still had a hankering for the paranormal. Quite frankly, she was also right when she said he didn't want to live that kind of vagabond lifestyle again. He finally had a home to come to, so he didn't feel the need to keep running away from his loneliness. This would be the perfect solution, by being created by the Direct himself, the X-Files wouldn't be shunned and it would have a superior who was an advocate of the division. "Wow Scully...have I died and gone to heaven? That is just perfect, simply perfect. And this was only the good news? What is the *really* good news?" Giving him an enigmatic smile, she reached into the briefcase again to pull out another folder. Silently she handed it to him and waited for him to read it. After examining it for a few minutes, he lowered the folder to look at her. "I don't understand this at all. You're the doctor here, you tell me what this means." "That's a blood test done today Mulder. And what those results mean is that I'm pregnant." She looked down into her lap before looking up again, a small but radiant smile crossing her face. Feeling impulsive, Mulder got up suddenly and pulled Scully out of her chair, giving her a hungry, but soft kiss. Hands on her face, hers around his waist, they pulled away somewhat reluctantly and Mulder brushed her hair back, hands coming to rest on the sides of her neck, thumbs tracing her collarbone. He brought his forehead down to hers and stared deeply into her eyes, drowning in their emotion. "That is the best birthday present you could ever give me Scully." She leaned over slightly to blow out the candles before wrapping one of her hands around his neck and pulled him down for a deeper, longer kiss underneath the stars, on top of the world. ***** October 31, 1995 Mulder/Scully Residence 8:30 am Mulder woke up, stretching languidly and lazily. Today was one of his favorite days of the year, simply because everyone believed on Halloween. He couldn't wait to dress up and pass out candy to all the trick-o-treaters, scare the older kids. He also couldn't wait until next year to take his own child out to play with the ghouls and ghosts. A loud, pitiful retching from the other room brought him back to reality, and Mulder realized two things. One, this day may not be as fun as he thought because of the second thing that he realized which was that Scully was no longer in bed, which meant her nausea was acting up today. Hopping out of bed, he threw on a pair of black silk boxers that were discarded next to the bed from last night and made his way into the bathroom. Scully's morning sickness hadn't been bad until recently, and even then it was either nothing, or hit her full force. Today would be one of the days where it hit her full force, and knowing from previous experience, she would be sick all day. He had learned quickly that morning sickness did not limit itself to the morning. The door to the bathroom was closed and Mulder knocked first, calling out, "Scully?" Another bought of retching could be heard before he quietly opened the door. Without a word, he grabbed a washcloth out of the linen closet and ran it under cool water, squeezing out the excess, as well as filling up a glass with some water. She was sweaty and pale, leaning back against the wall, clad in nothing but one of his t-shirts. Taking the glass from him, she looked up at him with grateful eyes. As she drank, Mulder rooted around for a rubber band and her hair brush in one of the drawers. Brushing her hair out of her face, he secured it with the rubber band before kneeling besides her and patting the washcloth over her face and neck. Her eyes were closed as she mutter a faint "Thank you," before getting hit suddenly with another wave of nausea and leaned back over the toilet again. Rubbing her back, Mulder hated how he felt so helpless when she felt like this. He knew there was nothing he could do about it, and that she really didn't mind, because she finally got to have the one thing she always wanted but never could have- a child. Even so, he hated seeing her like this, so miserable, out of control of her own body's reactions, too sick to put up her 'I'm fine' defenses. Finally done with that round, she reached up to flush the toilet before leaning back against the wall again. "Morning," she said wryly, exhaling slowly before taking another sip of the water. "Morning," he responded, going from his knees to sitting next to her. Mulder patted the wash cloth along her hair line, before dropping a kiss on her cheek. As much as he loved kissing her, he was not going to touch those lips after that episode until she brushed her teeth. "What do you want for breakfast Scully? You go back to bed and I'll bring it up to you." "Agh," she groaned, her eyes rolling back into her head. "Food is the last thing that sounds good right now." "I know. But we both know you need to eat something." "I know. Surprise me Mulder, just nothing with grease. I'm going to take a shower while you do that, because I feel disgusting. Maybe I'll brush my teeth as well so that way I can repay you with a nice kiss on the lips." They chuckled slightly as she called him on the chaste kiss on the cheek. Mulder helped her stand up and she clutched her stomach, taking deep even breaths, trying to hold back another round. "Thank god it's a Saturday," she muttered. "Scully, this isn't gonna last all nine months, is it?" She was only about to start her ninth week, and Mulder was not only growing weary of this sickness, but at how hard it always hit her and the toll it took on her. "Which part? The having a baby part or the regurgitation of all my internal organs every other day?" A smile crossed her face as she walked past him and turned on the shower before turning to face him. Her smile got wider at the look on his face, which Mulder mused was a cross between 'I'm being serious' to 'You're not very funny' to 'Glad someone has a sense of humor about this' . "No Mulder, it should dissipate in a few weeks, replaced by other wonderful things, like stretch marks, swollen ankles, having to go pee every five minutes, tender breasts, weight gain, possibly constipation, heartburn, waddle walking, false contractions. . ." She trailed off, and Mulder's head begun to spin. She was smiling though, and he could tell that she was going to embrace everything with this pregnancy, regardless of the uncomfortable aspects. They both knew that the good definitely outweighed the negative aspects, and didn't mind a bit. "Oh, waddle walking, huh? Can I start calling you 'Daisy'?" The eyebrow went up as she narrowed her jaw at him. "Not if you want me to answer, or if you want to be in a full body cast afterwards. Just because I haven't shot you in this life doesn't mean I still can't." "Ouch, that one hurt. Must be those hormones, so I'll forgive you." Grinning, he scooted out of the way before she could swat at him. He was going to get her some breakfast and then go play with the ghoulies and ghosties. It was his favorite holiday after all, and life was treating him well. He might as well live it up. ***** January 3, 1996 Office of Section Chief Mulder J. Edgar Hoover Building 10:50 am Mulder couldn't stop whistling or humming. Live was good. Life was excellent. Hell, life was swell. He had just finished a meeting with his X-Files agents, and the X-Files division was doing well. When there were cases locally, Mulder sometimes went along to the field, just to give the beginners helpful insights and Scully sometimes joined them as well. The office was relegated to the basement again, but this time Mulder made sure extra windows were installed and the heat worked properly. As much as he loved seeing the X-Files flourish and being part of them again, especially when Scully could join them, they were not all consuming as they had once been. His life was focused on more important things. Like Scully and their baby. Even though she was only starting her 18th week, Scully was so tiny that she was beginning to show. And, Mulder thought as he walked through the hallways of the J. Edgar Hoover building to her office, she would castrate me if she knew I called her tiny. Petite, that was the politically correct word she preferred. Thankfully her morning sickness had subsided, but she was now suffering from exhaustion and insomnia. Also heartburn on a daily basis, as well as the urge to go to the bathroom every two hours, on the hour. What a combination, Mulder thought wryly. Walking through her inner office, he greeted her secretary, Tammy with the normal, 'How are you?' pleasantries. "The door's locked, Section Chief Mulder," Tammy informed him, their code talk letting him know that Scully was taking a nap. Even though Scully knew it was very unprofessional, when the moment caught her during the day and she didn't have any pressing appointments, she grabbed a quick nap on her office couch. The doctor in her knew that unprofessional or no, since she was having trouble sleeping at night she should take advantage of anytime that she could fall asleep. Only Tammy and Mulder knew that is what she was doing when she locked her inner office door. Shooting a grin at Tammy, Mulder pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and quietly opened the door to Scully's office, shutting and locking it behind him. The sight before him melted his heart. She was curled up on her side on one of the couches with her tan trench coat covering her legs. Mouth slightly slack, one hand was underneath the throw pillow and the other was resting on her slightly bulging abdomen. Mulder hated the fact that he had to wake her up. Kneeling before her, he listened for a few moments to her deep, even breathing. She really was having a difficult time sleeping at night, and Mulder seriously thought about letting her sleep. They could reschedule their appointment. However, Mulder knew he'd been in greater trouble if he didn't wake her up and ended up rescheduling, so with a sigh, he softly shook her shoulder. "Scully," he whispered. "Wake up Sleeping Beauty." She slowly pulled herself out of her dreams, blinking a couple of times before focusing on him. "Mmm, I was just having a wonderful dream about our first kiss," she said, voice musky with sleep. "On our first date at that Italian place?" Scully sat up and Mulder sat down beside her. She was leaning forward, elbows on her knees and face in her hands, Scully's way of waking herself up. While she was forward, Mulder took the opportunity to rub her lower back. Though she never complained about it, he knew it was starting to ache and give her problems. He could see her try and rub it when she thought no one was looking. "Ohhhhhhh," she groaned softly. "Don't stop that Mulder." Her head hung slack as he applied a little more pressure. "No Mulder, not that kiss, our kiss on New Years. In 2000." "That was a nice kiss Scully." "Nice is such a benign word Mulder. Granted it wasn't electric, but I'd say warm, rather than nice." "Chaste?" "Classy." "Romantic?" "Definitely. At least for me. After that kiss I felt the world fall from under me Mulder, in the good way. How about you?" Gently nudging her to turn sideways, Mulder kept massaging her back, using both hands. "All I could think about was how soft your lips were. Then, how happy I was you kissed me back and didn't slug me." "I'd never hit you for kissing me Mulder. God knows I wanted it for so long. Was it just a New Years kiss Mulder, or were we hiding behind that as an excuse, hiding behind the holiday so we wouldn't get hurt, get involved further, wouldn't let our emotions show?" "It was definitely more than a New Years kiss Scully, so much more. Maybe that's why we're here, maybe we screwed up too much in the other life, let so many chances miss and pass us by, that we were brought here to be together like we were meant to be together. "Fate Mulder?" He could hear her sarcasm and smiled. "Destiny." "In a parallel universe?" "No, I think more like an alternate universe." "Hmm. You know, this is unfair. You're hands feel so good and you're being so sweet and attentive that I can't think cohesively enough to debunk your theory." Mulder brought his hands up to her shoulders and began to rub those. "Probably just as well. You know how turned on I get when you rip my intellect apart into smithereens." "Remind me tonight when we get home, I'm sure I'll be able to 'debunk' a few things." "I love it when you talk dirty to me." Standing up, Scully gave him an amused smile. "Just think Mulder, I'm *just* starting to get into the horny stages of pregnancy." Leaving him with the extreme possibilities, Scully made her way to the door. "Come on Mulder, we're going to be late for our appointment." PART 5 - The Fate of Time ***** January 3, 1996 George Washington Medical Group Office of Doctor McIntyre 1:10 pm Mulder couldn't help but squeeze Scully's hand from excitement. This was actually his first ultra sound he had been present. The previous times some Bureau matter had come up last minute that required his attention, and so he had missed the appointments. The pictures Scully brought home were nice, but he knew wouldn't be the same as seeing it live via medical satellite. He and Scully had agreed since she was suppose to be barren in the other life as well as going though chemotherapy that she would see the doctor twice as often, just to be on the safe side. Neither had any idea what physical ailments or traits had preceded them into this life. Dr. McIntyre, though not knowing about the other life, had agreed to more frequent visits. The doctor had stated her reasoning being that since Scully was just now having her first child while in her thirties and the fact that Scully's body was so small, that Scully ran a probability of having complications or being high risk if she wasn't monitored carefully. Feeling her jump slightly as the gel was placed on her stomach, Mulder grinned down at her. He could imagine that the gel was cold. "Beats being covered all over in alien goo though, doesn't it Scully," he whispered in her ear, careful to not let the doctor overhear. Biting back his smile as she attempted to give him a halfhearted stern look, Mulder focused on the monitor. Dr. McIntyre had begun to run the metal thing over Scully's stomach. Just as the image popped onto the screen, Mulder reminded himself to ask Scully what that metal thing was called. Speechless, Mulder stared at the screen in awe. There was his unborn child, their unborn child. Infinitely tiny eyes, mouth, nose, arms, fingers and legs lit up the screen, and Mulder felt a lone tear run down his face. It was the most beautiful, amazing thing he had ever seen. What made it even more special for so many reasons was that is was Scully having this child. A gentle touch to his face broke him out of his reverie, and Mulder glanced down at Scully, who had tears in her eyes as well. They shared a heartwarming smile, the silence between them speaking a thousand words. "Dana? Fox? Would you like to know the gender?" Dr. McIntyre asked, and Mulder was momentarily distracted by her accent. This was also the first time Mulder met Scully's obstetrician, and he guessed she was from Australia by that accent. One quick look was all it took to come to a consensus between Mulder and Scully. "No, doctor, I think we want to wait," Scully said. "Very well. Everyone appears healthy and right on target. Now, I will have the nurse give you your copy of the tape from today's visit on your way out. Do you have any questions Dana? Or Fox?" Mulder began to answer 'No', but Scully's voice popped over his. "Dr. McIntyre, I'm a little worried that I haven't been able to feel the baby move around much, and when I do, it's a very faint feeling. Is that normal, okay? Aren't most babies suppose to be moving around a lot after the 14th week?" Mulder gave Scully a look, but she avoided looking at him, intent on the doctor. She hadn't mentioned this to him. "No, Dana, not at all. You're baby is just still comfortable in one place for right now. Just wait until he or she starts using your bladder for football practice." The doctor nodded and left the room as a nurse came in to help Scully clean up and redress. Mulder anxiously took the tape from the nurse as they left, and whispered to Scully, "Why didn't you tell me about your worries?" She shrugged at him as they stepped into the brisk January air. Pulling her coat tightly around her, she answered, "I didn't know if I was just being paranoid. I knew if I told you, you would have had an epileptic seizure from worry. Don't be mad and don't pout Mulder. If I had been genuinely, extremely concerned, I would have told you and would have went in for an appointment sooner." They got into the car and Mulder started the engine, turning the heat up as high as it would go to warm up. "I know that Scully. I just don't want you to revert back to your 'I'm fine's." He was staring straight ahead, but even so, he saw her roll her eyes. "Mulder, I'm not going to discuss this with you, nor am I going to waste my energy trying to reassure you." "I know Scully. I was just taken by surprise, okay? I don't want to make an issue out of it either." "Good." "Good." "Fine." "Fine." He pulled out of the driveway and onto the street. "Are you sure you don't want to know the sex Scully? It's not to late." "Just drive Mulder. That's one surprise you're just going to have to deal with. Once again, they shared a smile and Mulder's hand found Scully's as they drove back to work. Mulder couldn't wait to show everyone the tape. ***** March 14, 1996 Office of Section Chief Mulder J. Edgar Hoover Building 3:10 pm Mulder sat at his desk hurrying through the mundane task of paperwork while NPR played quietly in the background. Sighing, he painfully remembered his and Scully's argument from that morning. She was now as big as a house, and Mulder couldn't believe she still had eight weeks to go before giving birth. He was afraid she was going to tip over any moment. However, she did have that rosy, healthy glow about her, even though she was resigned to wearing flats since she couldn't balance in her heels anymore. During the mornings, Scully took longer than normal to get ready due to her protruding belly. Mulder had taken initiative for the past few weeks to make her breakfast. This morning he had made her usual wheat toast with all-natural blueberry jam, yogurt, a cup of chai tea, and a banana. When she had finally made her way down to the kitchen, she not only burst into tears for him not taking into consideration what she might want to eat, but proceeded to yell at him for assuming that she couldn't think enough on her own to decide her own breakfast. That's when she went about reheating left over spaghetti for breakfast along with eating some carrot sticks and ignoring him for the rest of the morning. Mulder had been dumbfounded, but not surprised. Since entering her third trimester, Scully had been irrational and extremely emotional. He found it was better to just let things run their course, let Scully get it out of her system rather than trying to defend himself. It unnerved him to see her cry so much; hell, up until this point he had cried in front of her more than she had cried in front of him. He really missed horny Scully from the second trimester. Now that kind of hormonal rampage was one he could deal with. They literally had made love at least one time a night, every night, for seven weeks straight. Now Scully slept on the recliner most nights because sleeping sitting up was more comfortable for her. They had temporarily moved the recliner into the bedroom to accommodate her. There was a soft knock at his door and before he could say, 'Come in,' Scully was already in, slowly crossing the room to one of his chairs, waddling. Yes, Mulder thought, she was definitely waddling. She slowly sat down on the chair, in the way that only extremely pregnant women could sit. The look on her face indicated to Mulder that she was either about to cry or explode at him, but he took a chance anyway and asked her what was wrong. "Dr. McIntyre called me in today, wanted to see me last minute. I was still angry at you, though I can't remember why, so I didn't call you. She's worried about the health and the stress on the baby, Mulder, with he or she being so big already and me being so small and still working in a high stress job. She's put me on mandatory maternity leave effective immediately. Eight weeks Mulder, eight weeks I have to sit at home and be useless! Eight weeks to do nothing but be an incubator. But what if I've put the baby in jeopardy by working?" Her lower lip started to tremble, and Mulder fought the urge roll his eyes or scream. He didn't know if he could handle eight more weeks of irrational Scully. Instead, Mulder quickly crossed the room and guided Scully to the couch, where he sat beside her and rubbed her back soothingly, other hand finding one of hers. "Scully, you are not super woman. The fact that you've worked this far along is amazing. Most people I know couldn't handle your job under normal circumstances, let alone while they were pregnant. And the baby is fine- Dr. McIntyre is just being cautious so that way our baby is healthy. You know what? I think you are doing the most amazing, selfless, and beautiful thing by bringing another human life into this world." His arms moved around her and Mulder pulled Scully into a hug. "Don't think of it as a mandatory leave, think of it as a well deserved vacation. Remember all those books you want to read, and movies you want to see? Now's the perfect time to do that. C'mon, I'll cut out of here early, we'll go get your things from your office, we'll go home, I'll run you a nice bubble bath, and then we'll eat some dinner and just relax, together. Tomorrow you can type up notes and memos, at home, for me to bring to your assistant so he can get a handle on things while your gone, okay?" Sniffling, she nodded, and finally looked up at Mulder. "Can we have Caffe Italiano's again?" "Don't you want anything else besides Italian Scully? We've had Italian for the past ten nights." "Chinese then?" "Scuh-leeee. . . That's practically Italian. It's noodles, just in a different sauce." "Fine," she huffed, crossing her arms and leaning back away from him. Mulder resisted the urge to run and bash his head into his wall. "Scully, we'll compromise. We'll have Caffe Italiano deliver your food and I 'll order my food from somewhere else." "Hmm. You always have to be so god damn rational, have the 'perfect' solution for everything." "Do you want to fight, or do you want a bubble bath? I'll even wash your back and paint your toes for you tonight." A small smile finally came to Scully's face. "You'll really paint my toes for me?" "Anything for you Scully." "Just for that, I'll let you choose what we have for dinner tonight." Scully reminded Mulder of a kid making a huge sacrifice, which in her case, she probably was. "Alright Scully, let's get out of here." Mulder helped her stand up and sighed in relief behind her back. Only eight more weeks of being the rational one. That was becoming his mantra. ***** May 10, 1996 Mulder/Scully Residence 5:54 pm "Scully?" Mulder called out as he shut and locked the door behind him. With four weeks left until Scully gave birth, Mulder had been trying to come home earlier, doing as much work from home as he could. Often, he would also come by and check on her during his lunch, which he knew really annoyed her. At least she had gotten past the really emotional stage and she was pretty much back to her rational, non-whiny self, though her food cravings were something left to be desired. "I'm in the living room Mulder." Her voice filtered into the front hallway as Mulder walked toward her, stopping by briefly to grab plates and napkins from the kitchen. "You dinner, milady. Pizza topped with pepperoni, green olives, onions, mushrooms, and anchovies for you." She was sitting lengthwise on the couch, feet propped up on a few pillows to aid in her swelling ankles. As he entered, she laid down the book she had been reading on her enormous stomach and gave him a big smile. "Thank you Mulder. I've been craving that all day. Now, if there's a ice tea in the bag, it could be love." "Hey, that's my line," he teased as he pulled the coffee table up close and arranged everything down upon it. Moving the pillows, he sat down on the couch and pulled Scully's feet on his lap before leaning over to fix his plate. "Po-ta-to, po-tat-oh, it's all the same in the end, isn't it?" Reaching into the bag, she pulled out a decaffeinated iced frappachino. "Where did you find a decaffeinated one?" she asked excitedly, eyes wide. "Saw it in a vending machine today, bought stock in the company, brought you home one," he mumbled through his pizza. "I'd kiss you if I could lean over that far," she said between her own bite, pizza sauce smearing on her cheek. Mulder reached over and wiped it off, placing a quick kiss on her nose and then lips. "But I still can." "Good. Somebody's gotta have dexterity in this relationship." They finished eating their pizza as Mulder filled her in on the latest big cases, asking for her opinion in all of them. Sitting like that for awhile just talking, Mulder rubbed Scully's feet, massaging all her toes and ankles. Finally, when he thought she was asleep, he got up carefully to clean up. "No Mulder, let me clean up. I need the exercise," Scully said groggily, pulling herself to standing slowly. "Okay Scully, but don't stretch to reach for anything." "I won't mother," she responded dryly as she waddled into the kitchen with their plates and trash. Moving the coffee table back to it's spot, Mulder went about picking up the living room, resisting the urge to hover over Scully, to make sure she wasn' t overextending herself. Suddenly, over the noise of the running water, he heard a crash that sent him running to the kitchen. Scully had one hand clutching the counter, supporting her while the other grasped her belly. She was ghostly white and gasping. He started to run over to her, thinking maybe the time had finally come when she shook her head minutely, gasping at him to call 911 before moaning in excruciating pain and almost falling to the floor. ***** May 10, 1996 Georgetown Memorial Hospital Emergency Waiting Room 8:32 pm Mulder sat on the edge of the hard, plastic orange chair, slightly rocking back and forth, nervously chewing on his thumbnail. Glancing at the clock again, he realized only two minutes had passed since he had last looked at it. What was taking so long? Why wasn't anyone telling him anything? He felt as though a thousand butterflies were fluttering in the pit of his stomach, and after his initial adrenaline rush had worn down, a grueling nausea had plagued him. Rubbing his hands roughly over his face, Mulder leaned back in his chair. Scully couldn't lose their baby, she just couldn' t. It would kill her. It would be worse than when she thought she could never have children; it would be horrendous for her to lose that hope of that one chance, that one possibility, then for her to have never become pregnant at all. "Please," Mulder prayed silently, though he wasn't sure whom he was praying too. The EMT's had let Mulder ride in the ambulance at least, but once they got to the hospital, they had pushed him away, concentrating on Scully. He had been delegated to signing the paper work and then waiting out here for the past two hours, with no word. "Mr. Scully?" Mulder looked up at the doctor in green scrubs, trying to read if the news was good or bad. Try as he might, all Mulder could see in the doctor's expression was neutrality. "I'm Mr. Mulder, Ms. Scully's husband," he said standing up to face the doctor. A slight look of surprised floated across the doctor's face before she masked it again quickly with professionalism. "I'm Dr. Lance. You may go in and see Ms. Scully now." "Dr. Lance? Is she okay? Is the baby-" "Ms. Scully asked specifically that she be allowed to explain to you first." Mulder and Dr. Lance had been walking down the sterile, lifeless corridor as they talked. Coming to a closed door, the doctor nodded to it, indicating to Mulder that they had reached Scully's room. "Thanks," Mulder whispered quietly as the doctor turned and walked back down the corridor. Inhaling, Mulder turned opened the door slowly, prepared to face the worse. Walking in tentatively, he spotted Scully, head turned away from the door. The lighting was dim, as if she were suppose to be asleep or in deep sorrow. He was walking as quietly as possible when she turned her head to face him, letting out a hoarse greeting. There were large black bags under her red-rimmed eyes, and her skin seemed almost a pale blue in the lighting. The lines of her face were worn, and she looked as though she could sleep for a week straight. Mulder made it to her bedside and grabbed the hand closest to him. His other hand went to cover her other hand that was lying on top of her stomach protectively. "Scully?" "I'm fine Mulder. The baby's fine. I had a partial abrupt ion, where the placenta starts to rip away from the uterine wall." She gave him a reassuring smile and their baby decided to reaffirm her statement by kicking toward the joined hands. Mulder gave her a smile of wonder in return, eyes becoming lighter. "The doctor thinks that it's because Bubba here is getting so big, and my body is so small that the tear happened- my body is just not handling the stress well. The doctor also said that I will probably have to deliver by C-Section rather than natural child birth." Pulling up a chair, Mulder sat and grabbed her hand again, this time in both hands, and brought it up to his lips to kiss. "You mean all those lamaze classes were for nothing? And I practiced so hard!" He was rewarded with a slight, but a little bit of a weak laugh. "Oh Mulder, you were the best breather there. I'm so sorry you won't be able to put those skills to good use." Raising his eyebrows, he asked, "How long do we have to wait after the baby' s born? I could definitely figure out a way to use those skills then." Scully raised both her eyebrows back at him. "Anyway Mulder, the doctor also said that we're going to try to keep this baby in as long as possible, for the health of the baby. Which basically means I'm delegated to bed rest for the next four weeks. I'm gonna need some strong, handsome, virile man to wait on me hand and foot. Any idea where we can find one?" Scooting closer, he leaned over so the tip of his nose was barely touching hers. "I can think of someone." Eyes wide, she asked, "Really? Please describe all his attributes so I can determine if he's qualified enough." "Well, he's a little bit over six feet, a pretty athletic build. Kind of has a big nose, green eyes, brown fluffy hair, a great sense of dry humor, extremely intelligent. And, I know for a fact though that he would love to wait on you hand and foot. In fact, I know for a fact that he loves you so much that it's blinding." Though they were both aware of each other's love, the words were rarely spoken aloud, saved only for special occasions. He watched Scully's face soften, eyes misty, and Mulder brought his lips down to hers, gently, lovingly. Pulling away, he leaned back in the chair again, never letting go of her hand. "Mulder?" Scully asked, interrupting the comfortable silence that had befallen them. "Yeah?" "You said that you thought we were here because we had not done things right in the past. That this was our opportunity to do things correctly." Leaning in, Mulder searched her eyes to try to figure out where she was going with her train of thoughts. "Yes, I think that's why we're here." "And, who knows what that one variable, or several variables might have been to change everything for us. Maybe it's the fact that Samantha was never taken from you. Who knows. Yet some things have remained identical between the two lives, yet others are similar but the details have changed, and still other things are completely different." "Maybe those things that are the same are meant to be; those are the invariables in our lives. Maybe destiny is a cross between fate and personal construction." "Maybe. What happened to the other time though? Where did it go? And do other people remember their old lives, or are we the only ones affected? Would other people be living the same lives regardless of how we live ours? I refuse to believe that a person's life can remain so isolated from everyone else's." Breaking eye contact, Scully looked across the room and licked her lips slightly, a sign that she was not getting at what she really wanted to say. Mulder decided to bite on her verbatim bait. "Scully, what's really on your mind? You know I could give you my theories up and down and sideways to your questions, but in all honesty, we both know that neither of us has any idea, or any real way to figure it out. So what's truly bothering you?" Her eyes closed tightly and her lips pressed together so hard they almost turned white. Finally, she turned to look at him, unadulterated fear in her eyes. "Mulder, what if this baby is Emily? ***** May 20, 1996 Mulder/Scully Residence 10:24 am Mulder leaned back against the arm of the couch, idly flipping channels on the television, waiting for Scully to return from her third trip to the restroom in just under twenty-four minutes. He had chose to stay home from work that day, mainly because he knew that Scully was going stir crazy staying at home by herself. Today they had decided to lounge around, sleep in late and do nothing together, simply because they both knew that once the baby came, those days would be long gone. He was still in a tee shirt and yellow pajama pants. Scully was dressed in a baby blue pajama set, with a big terry cloth robe covering her, since she always insisted she was 'cold,' though the DC summer of one hundred degree temperatures with matching humidity had already kicked in. A creak of the floorboards behind him indicated that Scully was returning, and he craned his neck backwards, trying not to laugh at her. His once petite, graceful and elegant partner was so big it was a wonder she didn't tip forward. To walk, she had to take wide-berthed steps and her hands were always bracing her lower back. Still, Mulder thought she couldn't look anymore beautiful. Her skin and eyes were positively radiant, always glowing, and her face, breasts and the rest of her body had a soft roundness. "Where am I going to sit now?" she asked with one eyebrow up, taking in the fact that since her last trip, Mulder had sprawled his legs lengthwise down the couch. Bending the knee closest to the edge, he placed that foot down on the carpet and patted the space between his legs. He watched as Scully waddled over to him, setting herself down with a soft grunt. Instinctively, she leaned back against him as his arms wrapped out her abdomen, resting near the top of her rounded belly. Her fingers came up to intertwine with his. "I think Bubba here has decided that my bladder makes a comfortable pillow," she murmured as her eyes closed and her head fell back against his shoulder. Planting a soft kiss to her exposed neck, Mulder rubbed at her belly. "Maybe the kid's just getting anxious to come out." "God, I can only wish. Sometimes I think I'm gonna be like this the rest of my life. Mulder, I've forgotten what my toes look like. Do you know how utterly bizarre that is?" Before Mulder could remind her that he was quite intimately familiar with what her toes looked like, after all these months of rubbing them and painting her toe nails for her, her belly shifted, and they both smiled simultaneously, Scully opening her eyes to meet his. "I love it when he does that," Mulder said, squeezing Scully's fingers with his. "He? How do you know it's a he?" "I can just tell these things Scully." "Uh-huh," was her sarcastic response, but though a gentle smile. The two fell silent, enjoy each other's quiet company. Scully dozed off after awhile, and Mulder began to nod off as well, when he suddenly felt a tightening in Scully's stomach as her eyes flew open and she gasped. "Scully? Are you okay? What was that?" Eyes wide, she blinked at him several times and gaped, before inhaling a big breath and let it out slowly. "That, Mulder, was a contraction." ***** May 24, 1997 Mulder/Scully Residence 8:01 pm Walking to the couch, Mulder tripped on a random stuffed animal, stumbling foolishly to regain his balance. Giving the neon green frog a deadly glare, Mulder kicked it out of the way before flopping down on the soft cushions, only to be greeted with a hard, plastic edge in his back that felt suspiciously like a key. Lifting his shoulders slightly, he pushed the offending toy out of the way to the floor and leaned back, closing his eyes and groaning. His thoughts drifted to the past year, ever since Scully had given birth. Like her doctor suspected, Scully's body was too small to handle natural delivery, even with their baby two weeks early, and had to go into an emergency c-section that night. At about 9:50 pm, May 20, 1996, their son, William Fox Mulder had been born, took his first breath of life. To this day, Mulder continued to be in awe of the little human being they created, were in charge of, were in love with. The trauma and stress to Scully's body had left her unable to bear any more children. Which was fine with the both of them, he thought ruefully. William was more than enough to handle, and as Scully said, one miracle was all she ever wanted, all she ever needed, for all she could ever hope. William certainly was their miracle. He was very bright already at a young age, certainly happy and good natured, though he did have a stubborn streak that Mulder and Scully claimed came from the other. At the Bureau, the X-Files were thriving and Mulder was actually enjoying the boss role he played in the division. Scully, impressing the higher-ups continually with the smoothness and efficiency she ran the pathology division, somehow she always found time to consult with his agents on extremely unusual cases that needed a very scientific perspective. Mulder enjoyed these moments when he got to work with her, when their minds dueled and challenged each other. Mulder had recently heard through the rumor mill (actually through Scully's secretary Tammy, which he confirmed with his secretary Allison), that an Assistant Director's position would be opening up soon with a retirement, and that both he and Scully were in contention. Letting out a deep soft chuckle, Mulder couldn't help but laugh at the complete opposite circle their professional lives were, hell, even their personal lives. It would be ironic if they both were up for the same promotion. "What *ever* could you find funny right now?" Scully asked wearily as she sidestepped both the offending frog and plastic keys before plopping down on the recliner. Turning slightly over his shoulder to look at her, Mulder thought she looked absolutely stunning, if not disheveled, with her hair back in a messy ponytail, glasses on, blue button-down shirt untucked and soaked, black pants, and no socks or shoes. After William had come, Scully was frantic about loosing the extra weight gain and was now more lean than she had been before she became pregnant with William. "Too bad you weren't wearing a white shirt Scully. I would've like that," he commented, vaguely pointing to her soaked shirt. When he saw traces of the eyebrow hitching up, he continued, "And I am so glad tonight was your turn for bath night." "Your son seemed to think that bath time tonight was an extension of his birthday party," she said wryly, leaning back in the recliner and closing her eyes. Since William's birthday had fallen on Tuesday, they had postponed the big birthday party for early that day. Teena and William, Samantha, her husband and kids, and Melissa had come; Bill and Tara had called, unable to make the transcontinental flight, and Charlie had called from his station in the Persian Gulf. William went to the Department of Justice daycare, so some of his buddies from there with their parents had also joined in on the festivities. The Mulder/Scully household that day had been bustling. And between the birthday cake, brightly wrapped presents, new toys, candy, all the people, and being the center of attention, William had been a handful all day. Hyper did not accurately describe their son that day. Bouncing off the walls didn't do the description any justice either. "Like I said, better you than me," Mulder laughed, lacing his fingers behind his head. He was exhausted and he knew Scully was just as exhausted. Who knew that parenting could be such hard, tiring work? He was so grateful he and Scully could do this together, not only for the bond and love they shared with their son in doing it, but Mulder couldn't imagine trying to do it himself, how difficult that would be. When the stuffed frog hit him directly in the face, Mulder laughed again, and asked, "Is he down and out for the count?" "Like a rock. I don't think he's gonna wake up until September." Mulder scooted over to the back of the couch, turning on his side. Patting the space next to him, he raised his eyebrows, silently inviting Scully to come share it with him. Groaning as she got up, she was about to sit down with him when Mulder shook his head. "What Mulder?" she asked, annoyance creeping in her voice. "I think you should take off that wet shirt Scully, before you catch cold." "Really? Would that be your medical opinion?" The corners of her mouth twitched. "Uh-huh." "Hmmm...I see. You may be onto something there." Scully slowly unbuttoned her shirt, and Mulder drank her in, reveling in every glorious patch of skin that was revealed. Shirt unbuttoned, she slide out of it and threw it over her shoulder. "You know Mulder, this bra is all wet too. Do you think I should take that off as well?" Nodding to her, Mulder watched as she reached around to unhook the blue satin bra, breasts suddenly free, nipples standing erect in the cool air. Instantly, Mulder became hard just by looking at her. "How tired are you Scully?" he asked, suddenly sitting up. "I can last all night long. Can you?" She smirked at him, wetting her lips with her tongue. "I think we need to try and experiment before I can come to any scientific conclusions to answer your question." With that he jumped off the couch and quickly grabbed Scully around her thighs, picking her up and carrying her over his shoulder to the bedroom, their laughter trailing down the hallway long into the night. ***** Friday, February 20, 1998 Office of Dr. Dana Scully J. Edgar Hoover Building 6:06 pm Whistling, Mulder jauntily opened the outside door to Scully's office. Tonight, they were going to par-tay. Missy had William for the weekend, he was treating Scully to a weekend get-away for her birthday, and he was very anxious to leave the Hoover building and get fun times rolling. Truth have it, they really weren't going anywhere for her birthday, as Scully was reluctant to have both of them leave town for any number of days without William. Instead, they were going to go to spend the weekend at the Ritz-Carlton in Arlington and pretend no one else existed but themselves. Either way, Mulder was excited to have Scully to himself for a full 42 hours. Noting that Tammy, Scully's secretary, was already gone for the day, Mulder' s whistling increased a pitch in excitement. Obviously Scully was as anxious as well to leave for the weekend. Without knocking, Mulder entered, only to find Scully sitting totally in the dark, blinds open, staring at the shadowed streetlight providing the very minimal light in the room. Mulder's whistling stopped suddenly, feeling the dread in the room. "Scully?" She physically jumped at the sound of his voice and turned around in her chair to face him. Even in the dimness, Mulder could see that her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, face pale. Frozen in place, Mulder felt compelled to cross the room and embrace her, but something held him back, as if he needed to distance himself from what she was about to tell him. "What is it Scully?" Licking her dry, cracked lips, Scully let out a hollow laugh. "Mulder, any of your impending guilt for ruining my 'other' life can hereby be eradicated." Her words weren't meant to be hurtful, but rather matter-of-fact, and Mulder felt his insides twist at both her detachment and her opening words to him. "What do you mean Scully?" Standing with a paper in her hand, she walked to him, almost as in slow motion. As she got closer to him, he saw the piece of paper was actually a x-ray, and she handed it to him. "Maybe some things are fated to be Mulder." Mulder glanced at the sheet, then back to Scully, confused. He couldn't make heads or tails of the x-ray, and her admission in the belief of fate frightened him. He knew then that something must be seriously wrong. "What do you mean, Scully?" "I have cancer. Again." "Again? What do you mean again? Is it the same, or different, or, or. . . " Mulder trailed off, unsure which questions were the appropriate ones to ask. "It's the same Mulder. Same kind, same place, same inoperability. But everything's different. There's so much more at stake now. We have William. I have you. This time around it wasn't brought on by a government conspiracy and it can't be cured by replacing a chip. I don't, I don't know what to do Mulder, or what to think. Maybe we had just gotten too content, maybe you and I aren't supposed to be this happy." Crossing the room in three quick strides, she stood to meet him, staring at him. He noted that she seemed frightened to touch him, almost as if her illness would physically reach through and cause him more pain. Reaching, he took one of her hands, marveling at how tiny it was, reminded how fragile she could be, and held it with both of his. He brought it up to his chest, placing it over his heart. "I refuse to believe that Scully, refuse to believe that this happened because we finally found happiness. Your cancer went into remission the first time and maybe it wasn't through the chip. Maybe it was through your faith. Maybe it was through fate. Who's to say that it won't go into remission this time around?" "Mulder, I never told you, but all that time after my cancer went into remission, I believed that it was the chip, your belief in its power that saved my life. And now there is no chip to fall back upon. There's nothing to believe in." She looked down at their feet, meeting toe to toe, unable to look him in the eye anymore. "There is so much that I have believed in over the years, in both lives, but I have never faltered in my belief in you, in us. We will get through this Scully. William will have both a father and mother to watch him grow up. We'll grow old and gray and cranky together. Just please, don't shut me out this time around." Mulder pleaded, trying to get her eyes to meet his. Pulling her hand away, Scully turned to face the window again. "I never meant to shut you out." "I know Scully, but you did. You always do. What hurts me most is not the fact that I can't share your pain, or the pain of my own, but the fact that you didn't trust me enough to let me in." They stood like that as moments passed, her staring out the window, him staring at her back. Finally, she cleared her throat roughly. "Mulder, I trusted you to let you in. I never trusted myself. I guess, even now, I've always been afraid and awestruck by the power of our relationship. Had I let you in then, I would've drowned. We were so emotionally connected, yet when it mattered most, were the most emotionally dysfunctional people I've known. I couldn't handle giving my emotional self up completely, because I was afraid to believe that something like this could be real. That our feelings were just all an illusion, and the moment I let that final wall down, you would be gone, and at that point, so much of me would be you that I couldn't go on without you. That's what scares me the most, the thought of having to live my life without you. If I kept my distance, I would be fine, and I wouldn't lose myself." Her voice had lowered to barely a whisper, and Mulder had gradually gotten closer to her in order to hear her. "Do you still feel that way?" He whispered in her ear, one arm wrapping around her shoulders, the other around her waist. "No. I feel like I've just finally found myself, through you. In you." Grabbing one of Mulder's hands, she brought it up to kiss his knuckles. Kissing the soft skin behind her ear, Mulder planted his chin on her shoulder. "If you don't want to go to the Ritz this weekend Scully, I understand. If you need to start treatments, or just need time to yourself." She moved her lips to kiss the inside of his wrist. "No Mulder, let's take this weekend for us. No cancer, no work, no adorable, curious little boy running around who could walk in on us. On Monday, we'll worry about the future. Let's just make this weekend a memory for us." ***** Saturday, February 21, 1998 Ritz-Carlton Pentagon City Arlington, Virginia 6:23 pm Mulder blinked sleepily into the last of the daylight that was filtering through the windows, languidly stretching out Scully, who turned toward him at his movement. "Hi," she said, staring him in the eyes. Her eyes were bright and Mulder had a difficult time believing that she was sick again. Then again, the first time around, he wouldn't have guess that she was sick then either, not until the end. That admission is what scared him the most. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, he smiled. "Hi. Do you realize we've been naked for almost twenty-four hours straight?" "Glad you noticed," she responded dryly, but her smile gave her away. Groaning, she pulled herself out of the gigantic, four post bed with silk sheets. "Where you going?" Mulder asked, wincing as he realized he was whining. "I'm ordering room service. I figured we need to replenish ourselves if we' re going to last another twenty-four hours naked." He pulled himself out of the bed, following her into the living area of their suite. "Woman, you know what I like." Rewarded with an eyebrow as placed their order, Mulder was pleased at both the fact that they knew each other so well that she didn't need to ask him what he wanted, and that she was ordering several desserts and a bottle of wine with their entrees. Making his way over to her, he kneeled at her feet, taking the arch of her foot and began to kiss it. "Mulder, what are you doing?" He grinned internally as he felt her squirm. "Didn't you know that the arch of your foot is an erogenous zone?" "Stop that. It tickles. Besides, I've already been seduced and plenty turned on; save that lip work for later." With a feral grin, Mulder licked his way up one leg, purposefully missing her center, dipping into her belly button and up her sternum, finding his target on her lips. He noted that Scully was breathing heavily, lids heavy as she watched him. He spoke between kisses. "I think we should move to a nudist colony." Scully pulled away from him, laughing. "Way to ruin a moment Mulder." "What?" He pulled away, leaning back to sit on the couch next to her. Mulder had to admit, he was a little hurt. "A nudist colony, Mulder? What could be more unsexy than seeing a whole bunch of people naked all the time. Part of nude being sexy is the fact that you don't see people nude all the time. So when the clothes go off, it's exciting. Besides," she said, straddling Mulder, "I'd have to deal with all these other women looking at you, and I'm just not very good at sharing." Mulder closed the couple of inches to her lips, her mouth parting under his. The kiss deepened, his hands tangling in her tussled hair, her breasts grazing his naked chest. A sudden knock at the door broke the two apart. Mulder groaned, throwing his head back against the couch, and looked back up, spying Scully biting her lip trying not to laugh. At her poor try of attempting to look sympathetic, Mulder felt laughter boil over his lips, and Scully joined him, wiping tears from her eyes. 'If only this moment could last forever,' he thought as Scully grabbed her robe to go answer the door. He quickly pushed his ominous feelings aside to enjoy the rest of the weekend with Scully. ***** January 29, 1999 George Washington University Hospital Department of Oncology 7:01 pm Mulder crept into the darkened room, a sickening feeling eating away at the pit of his stomach. Careful not to be too loud, Mulder pulled the chair over and sat by Scully's bedside. There were so many things that made this round with cancer worse. Already experiencing it once. Knowing that this time around there was no chip to cure it, no governmental intervention that caused it. Seeing how hard she was fighting for her life with no avail. William. Scully had been doing well on and off for the past year, but since New Year' s she had to be hospitalized. Staring at her, Mulder could see her pale blue veins in her gaunt, ghostly white face. She had become so thin that Mulder feared a breeze would break her in half. This past week she had taken a turn for the worse, and last night she had slipped into a coma. Their neighbors had been watching Will and had just left with their son. The doctor had thought it a good idea that Will have a chance to say good-bye to his mother, just in case. 'Just in case,' Mulder thought grimly, as he laid his head down on the bed next to Scully's. 'Just in case' she leaves us. 'Just in case' I have to raise our son alone. 'Just in case' I can't do this without her. Mulder's thoughts swirled through his mind, haunting him, shrinking his heart. "Scully, I don't think you'll ever truly know how much I adore you, worship you, chagrin you. I don't want you to go, I can't live without you. You are so much more than me than I am of myself. My heart beats because of you. I breath because of you. But if you do go, I know it wasn't without a fight, and I love you for that. I wouldn't expect anything less. I want you to know that I will make sure that Will is reminded every single day how much his mother loves him and misses him." With a gut wrenching sob, Mulder caressed Scully's face and picked up her left hand. Placing a kiss on the top, he traced her wedding ring. "Thank you," he whispered, as the heart monitor flat lined, just as it should have from a gunshot wound on that date in a previous life. ***** A Few Days Later Mulder Residence 6:00 am Mulder groaned as the alarm went off, not remembering having set it. His eyes were gritty and throat raw from having cried himself to unconsciousness after Scully's funeral the previous day. He was grateful that Will had stayed with the neighbors again for the night. Mulder needed time to heal, time to mourn without being under the watchful eyes of their son, so he could be strong for Will, whom, not even at three years, seemed to know what happened to his 'Ma'. Sitting up and attempting to rub his eyes clear, Mulder realized with a start that sometime in his oblivion of mourning that he had changed from his black suit he remember laying down in, to his yellow pajama pants. His yellow pajama pants he hadn't owned in several years. Actually the ones he owned in his other life. A quick appraisal around the room told Mulder he was not in his and Scully's row house in DC, but in his 42 Hegal Place apartment in Arlington. Before he could make heads or tails of the situation, a sudden noise from the living room quickened Mulder's pulse. He automatically reached for his gun off the nightstand, and was grateful to find it there. "Mulder?" he heard Scully call out and he dropped the gun, covering his ears. He was imagining this, as his way of dealing with her death. His hallucination became worse as he saw her in the doorway. Gritting his teeth, he cried a weak, "No!" Then he could feel her next to him, her hand on his arm. "Mulder, it's me. I'm really here. You're not imagining this." "Scully?" he asked hopefully, peaking at her from under his lashes. "Yes. Oh Mulder," she simply whispered, drawing him into her arms. "Did you, did you have the dream too?" he choked between tears, unnecessarily as he already knew she had. "My god Scully, I thought you were dead." "Me too. Imagine my surprise when I woke up alive," Scully said dryly, wiping her own tears. "But Mulder, I don't think it was just a dream." Mulder pulled away from their embrace to look at her. "What do you mean, Scully?" "Look at your left hand Mulder." There, shining brightly in the early morning light, was his wedding band. Briskly, he grabbed Scully's left hand, to find she had the band on too. "Whoa," was the only response he could think. "Whoa? That's it Mulder? I was expecting something a little less mundane," she teased, with an amused eyebrow raised. "You wanna make these rings official again?" He scooted closer to her. "Mulder," Scully responded, annoyed. "Don't you want to know what happened to us, or why, or for what purpose? Aren't you having trouble taking this all in? I know I am. Once again, we have to reconcile that we were living a completely different life, but now we're back in our old ones, yet we have memory of events that never happened. This is hard for me Mulder." "It's hard for me too Scully, but I don't know if we'll ever be able to figure that out. Maybe it was a wake-up call of sorts. Or maybe it was a way to show us the truth we *should* be seeking. In us." Scully looked pensive for a moment. "You know Mulder, we didn't loose anytime in this life. Today is Valentine's Day. February 14, 2000. Maybe we just got a shove from Cupid," she teased. Mulder laughed. "You always have to look for the simplest explanation, don't you? Wouldn't you think that Cupid would've found a less complicated way?" Looking Mulder deep in the eyes, Scully responded in a husky voice. "Maybe Cupid tried, and we weren't listening." "Well then, Cupid just pulled off one hell of a stunt." Mulder's voice dropped an octave as he began tracing his fingertips on Scully's collarbone. "I think we owe Cupid a debt of gratitude," Scully responded, her fingers tracing Mulder's jaw line. "Hmm...sounds like a X-File." Mulder leaned in until they were eye to eye, noses touching, lips just an inch away. "Sounds like it. Maybe we should investigate further," Scully whispered, as she closed that final gap. ***** FIN *****